The flavor of your parenting experience depends in large part, it seems to me, on the spacing of your children, and on the sex of the eldest children.
Having a girl first is easier. Girls are mature enough at young ages to help Momma quite a bit. It's not that boys can't be systematically trained, just that girls need far less training at younger ages. My three-year-old daughter is much more mature than her brothers were at the same age. Really, no comparison. She has a natural drive to mature, while the boys seemed to have a natural drive to let Mom do everything for them, when they could swing it.
Natural birth control facilitated by on-demand breastfeeding lasts between 6 and 18 months. Consequently, some women can have babies 15 months apart, while others experience a rhythm of 18 to 27 months apart.
I find myself in an incredibly busy season, so I think of these spacing issues frequently. Most days I scratch my head and think, "How does anyone do this well? I am over my head!" Basic hygiene and nutrition needs take up most of my day.
And then there's the laundry.
Never mind the dust bunnies and the various surfaces in need of a good wiping.
I keep coming back to this thought: There simply must be a way to do this well! After all, our Lord created our womanly bodies. He knows the childrearing rhythm he had in mind. Having children every two years or so, or more often, can make for a very frazzled Momma.
So, what exactly was he thinking?
All I know is this. And I think of it often--guilty, overwhelmed mom that I am.
By the time a child is ten years old, she doesn't remember the details of her life before the age of four or five.
Tell me God, is that Grace in action for us overwhelmed Mommas? They actually lose the memory of Momma having an eye-rolling frenzy over spilt milk....over fingers in the diaper poo.....over a wet diaper right after a potty visit.....over food flung to the floor by a tired baby? They have no recollection of my worst moments?
Good. Then I can start from scratch tomorrow, making self-control a part of my persona? I haven't ruined them?
I can hope.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Links and Quotes
Public school health center facilitated a teen's abortion during school hours, without parent knowledge.
"I have seen kids dismantle one another, while parents and teachers stood passively by and observed the 'socialization' process. I've seen the socialization theory in action, and it doesn't hold much water."
- Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family
The Nehemiah Institute's worldview PEERS test shows that 83% of the children from committed Christian families in public schools adopt a secular humanist or Marxist socialist worldview by the time they graduate.
Monday, June 14, 2010
why we must count
It's never a good idea for me to cry. Turns out it's a migraine trigger. But Ann Voskamp simply doesn't care about my migraines, darn her. She's gone and written an incredibly beautiful piece about why we must count our blessings. Why we must. We. simply. must.
It's a life boat essential.
My blessings:
- a husband who is true
- a husband full of grace
- a husband who loves me, in all my hormonal negativity (God help me--I become wholly different in my view of life for at least 48 hours. I can't find hope.)
- a nursing baby
- writers like Ann
- writing, to tell Jesus about the hurts
- four children who live passionately
- sufferers, taught by Jesus to comfort us, specifically
- monarch caterpillars and my son and husband who love them
- the ice cream stand behind which we can always find monarch caterpillars on the milkweed
- my food-loving, boy-chef eight year old who I sent to Google a homemade brownie recipe. Instead he brought me something with beef that he wants to make for dinner tonight (smile).
- the job interview my husband had today (no matter the outcome, interviews are good practice)
- my three-year-old sweetie, who pointed to a train picture and asked, "Does this begin with T?"
- rain, rain, more rain. It can be miserable, but it makes things lush...rich...beautiful.
- meal-time Scripture
____________________
As part of our meal-time Scripture, we've gone through Proverbs, Matthew, and we're still making our way through Psalms. Recently we also started Luke.
Today we came across this:
Luke 10:3,4
Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.
Can you imagine? What faith! Think of it for a moment.
Question: Would you have stuffed something in your pocket?
What would it have been?
- water?
- lipstick?
- chocolate?
- money?
- a knife?
I'm curious.
It's a life boat essential.
My blessings:
- a husband who is true
- a husband full of grace
- a husband who loves me, in all my hormonal negativity (God help me--I become wholly different in my view of life for at least 48 hours. I can't find hope.)
- a nursing baby
- writers like Ann
- writing, to tell Jesus about the hurts
- four children who live passionately
- sufferers, taught by Jesus to comfort us, specifically
- monarch caterpillars and my son and husband who love them
- the ice cream stand behind which we can always find monarch caterpillars on the milkweed
- my food-loving, boy-chef eight year old who I sent to Google a homemade brownie recipe. Instead he brought me something with beef that he wants to make for dinner tonight (smile).
- the job interview my husband had today (no matter the outcome, interviews are good practice)
- my three-year-old sweetie, who pointed to a train picture and asked, "Does this begin with T?"
- rain, rain, more rain. It can be miserable, but it makes things lush...rich...beautiful.
- meal-time Scripture
____________________
As part of our meal-time Scripture, we've gone through Proverbs, Matthew, and we're still making our way through Psalms. Recently we also started Luke.
Today we came across this:
Luke 10:3,4
Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.
Can you imagine? What faith! Think of it for a moment.
Question: Would you have stuffed something in your pocket?
What would it have been?
- water?
- lipstick?
- chocolate?
- money?
- a knife?
I'm curious.
dad's day
I never love my man more than when he's reading to the children. It always makes my heart whisper to my Lord, "Thank you, God, for a good man."
Bible verses about fathers, in honor of Father's Day.
And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” [Malachi 4:6 ESV]
My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. [Proverbs 3:11-12 ESV]
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. [Ephesians 6:4 ESV]
The righteous who walks in his integrity– blessed are his children after him! [Proverbs 20:7 ESV]
Bible verses about fathers, in honor of Father's Day.
And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” [Malachi 4:6 ESV]
My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. [Proverbs 3:11-12 ESV]
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. [Ephesians 6:4 ESV]
The righteous who walks in his integrity– blessed are his children after him! [Proverbs 20:7 ESV]
When Father Reads the Book – By G.E. Foster
When we hurry off to work,
I’m reminded of those early times
When father read the Book.
When father read the Book
As we each our places took
Round the dear old family altar
When father read the Book
I’m reminded of those early times
When father read the Book.
When father read the Book
As we each our places took
Round the dear old family altar
When father read the Book
O those dear old Bible stories,
Psalms that flowed like rippling brook;
Warnings, promises, and precepts
Lived, as father read the Book.
As father read the Book.
Satan’s kingdom round us shook,
And our savior early claimed us
Because father read the Book.
Psalms that flowed like rippling brook;
Warnings, promises, and precepts
Lived, as father read the Book.
As father read the Book.
Satan’s kingdom round us shook,
And our savior early claimed us
Because father read the Book.
O they say it was old-fashioned,
And what waste of time ‘twould look
To now take half-an-hour
To let father read the Book,
But as father read the Book,
Blessed thought in our minds stuck;
And the day went so much better
Just ’cause father read the Book.
And what waste of time ‘twould look
To now take half-an-hour
To let father read the Book,
But as father read the Book,
Blessed thought in our minds stuck;
And the day went so much better
Just ’cause father read the Book.
Oft I’m troubled as I journey
On toward heav’n with upward look,
To see families all about me
Grow up without father’s Book
Let father read the Book;
Your home will be so different
If your father reads the Book.
On toward heav’n with upward look,
To see families all about me
Grow up without father’s Book
Let father read the Book;
Your home will be so different
If your father reads the Book.
I found the poem and verses here.
Some Father's Day Ideas.
In the photo they are actually reading Backyard Detective, Critters Up Close, by Nic Bishop.
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