Stories of Hope, Day 2 (Compassion International in Nicaragua)

Compassion International photo, shared on Life in Grace on June 20, 2013

This kitchen belongs to Diana, Edie's sponsored child (Edie blogs at Life in Grace).

Diana lives in this house with her mother, father, and two sisters. Edie was especially impressed with Diana's father, who unlike many men, chooses to stay with his family.

Tragically, fathers in abject-poverty families often don't stay; the pressure is too great. They feel hopeless and too defeated to cope long-term.

Edie shares her impression of Diana's exceptional father:

From Edie at Life in Grace  From the moment I met him, I adored him. She is the first child I’ve met with a father in the house. And her father loves her. That does something permanent to a little girl’s heart. He works everyday, collecting and selling recycled trash, doing his best to support his wife and three daughters. He pilfers through junk and waste and brings it back to their home to clean it up and see what can be salvaged. I told him that I was so proud of him— for taking such good care of his family, for loving them enough to go to work for them everyday, for walking his daughters to school, and for saying yes when Compassion offered to enroll his daughters in the program. I thanked him for not giving up and for having the courage to stay.

Compassion International Photo, shared on Life in Grace, June 20, 2013

When a child is registered at a Compassion center they receive food and money for school, even before they're chosen by a sponsor. Just being registered makes things immediately better for these families. Edie just recently sponsored Diana, so things will begin to improve even more for this family.

Edie shares this about Diana:

She lives in a ramshackle lean-to with no indoor plumbing and cardboard for a bed. But she is home. She is surrounded by parents who love her and who are giving all they have, day in, day out, against all odds. Their little shanty isn’t water proof and they hope that someday they will be able to do some repairs so that the girls don’t get wet when it rains. They have hopes and dreams, that it won’t always be like this. They want a better life for their girls but they are a family and we were so blessed by their commitment to each other.

Now that she knows, I'm sure Edie will send a family gift to have the roof repaired. Family gifts and birthday and Christmas gifts are not required from sponsors; they are money sent above and beyond the $38 a month it takes to sponsor a child. Family gifts can amount to no more than about $2000 a year, so as not to create dependency. Birthday and Christmas gifts are also limited, with a much lower cap.

But when sent, monetary gifts (you can't send material goods) change a child's circumstances in amazing ways. One of our correspondent children, Raphael in Burkina Faso, obtained a new roof with a family gift we sent in 2012. It wasn't much, but now there's no water leaking into the home, which is huge, as you might imagine.

A correspondent child, by the way, is a Compassion child you write to, but do not sponsor. Their own sponsor either won't write to them, or can't write, such as when a large company sponsors many children. We have two correspondent children and one sponsor child, but we love them the same, of course. Each has made our lives far richer.

Another of our correspondent children, Divya in India, received a birthday gift from her sponsor, with which they bought a water filter for clean drinking water. How huge is that? I believe such filters are about $50 each.

Compassion is involved in how gift money is spent, with the decisions being made after a home visit and assessesment of the family situation.

Our sponsored child, Nelson from El Salvador, usually buys food with our smaller gifts, but once they bought a large mattress, leading me to believe that perhaps they previously slept on cardboard or wood slates. Unfortunately, unless you visit your sponsored child, you never learn a great deal about their living situation. It isn't something they detail for you in their letters.

But most of the time, their circumstances look like what you see in these pictures, with Kenya and Haiti being perhaps the worst. Compassion children are all in abject-poverty situations.

Once Kristin Welsh of We Are That Family, after receiving an author's book advance from her publisher, sent $250 to all of her sponsored children. In Kenya, one of her sponsored children's family used the money to buy a booth and start a small-scale sundry-market business, leading to them eating more than one meal a day at home for the first time. Other families used the money for a goat or a cow, to provide milk for the family.

If you sponsor a child, God will provide you the money for gifts. Trust me on this. He only asks for your obedience.

Christy at Southern Plate shares her day-2 home visit experience:

We met a wonderful lady who lives with her aunt and three sisters. Together, they are raising 8 children who are incredibly well loved and taken care of. I’ve never seen kids with such manners and kindness. Daisy is a merchant by trade, packaging spices and seasonings into small bags each evening to go sell on the streets in the early hours of the morning. On very good days, she makes the equivalent of about $6.00 and then comes home to care for her children and nieces.

Despite Daisy's hard work, this family only gets one meal a day at home, prepared in the evening. The team also learned that Daisy struggled to pay school fees for 7-year-old Roxanna, who wants to be a doctor. Sometimes Roxanna had to take a month off school so the family could use the school-fee money for food.

Now, Compassion pays Roxanna's school fees.

 Kelly at Faithful Provisions shares this about Daisy and Roxanna:

How terrible would it be to have to make the choice between food on the table and an education for your children? An eduction that would end the cycle of poverty?

Guess what? Daisy no longer has to make that decision. Her prayers have been answered because someone said “yes”. Someone thousands of miles away listened to the call in their heart and said “yes”.

They sponsored Roxanna.

Since a sponsor said “yes” it has changed not only Roxanna’s life, it has changed her families life. She doesn’t just have hope, she has a fighting chance at becoming a doctor someday. Yes, that is what she told me she wants to be.

A doctor.

It’s hard to imagine that such a small sacrifice on my part, doing without fast food once a week, drinking coffee at home every now and then, just $38 a month, money that I may not even notice, can make the dreams of a child and a mother’s heart come true.

Christy at Southern Plate shares:

The pastor at the center we were at today said “Many countries just want to receive the fish. Here, we want to teach them to fish for themselves, that is what we are doing for these children when we educate them”

And that is what Compassion does. They nurture kids in more ways than one, but the goal is to nurture them as completely as we can.

There are four facets of nurturing that every sponsored child receives:

Social/Emotional nurturing – Compassion works to ensure children feel loved and valued by helping in many ways, such as offering therapy to the child if needed, and even helping adults in that child’s family learn to restore relationships.

Education - In many countries, education is very difficult to come by. In Nicaragua alone, 4 out of 5 children never go to school. This is mostly due to parents not being able to afford it. Compassion works to make sure children in the program receive an education. In fact, it is required that they be educated while in the program. They do this by providing money and supplies for school, school uniforms in countries that require them, tutoring, and in some cases even providing the school itself.

Physical - Compassion children receive healthcare, clean drinking water, and even nutritious food and nutrition education. Any one of these things would be considered a blessing beyond measure by one of these families so I can’t even imagine how grateful I’d be if I were a mother in these mother’s shoes and had this provided for my child.

Spiritual – We are all lost. Compassion makes sure every child in the program knows of the love of God for them and has an opportunity to choose to follow where He leads. Children are not required to become Christians to be a part of or remain in the program, but they live each day receiving all of these wonderful things and knowing it is in the name of God.

And that is what Compassion does with your sponsorship money of only $38 a month. The tear down walls separating these children from their dreams.

More stories of hope coming your way tomorrow....time for me to get a good night's sleep. These trips are exhausting from a blogging standpoint, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love Compassion International and I love sharing what happens when the Faithful show up and act like Jesus.

Hope is born, for just $38 a month.

Thank you for showing up. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sponsoring and spreading the word. And please, share stories in the comments about your own sponsor children and how they've blessed you.

Sponsor a child here.

Follow all the blog posts from the week's trip here.

View all the photos from the week here. 

Thankful Thursday: Blessing Others

Newly pregnant with my girls, I experienced pervasive morning sickness for about ten weeks (not much actual vomiting, but a 24-hour-a-day nausea with no appetite). I became more and more depressed and nauseous as my little boys expended their normal energy and I couldn't keep up. Or slow them down. 

The condition is aggravated by stress so the more they ran around, the worse I felt.

Each of my pregnancies affected my husband's work life; he had to modify his hours to help me, both in the beginning, and at the end when the blood pressure problems arrived.

He cried at the ultrasounds and at the births, and when he held our new babies, but every time I announced a new pregnancy, his countenance fell.

Oh, no. Not that stress again.

We didn't have enough support, partially because so many women work nowadays...even older women.

As I reclined on my couch, my stomach teasing me, I pleaded with God to make my boys slow down and watch PBS. We had cable at that time but I don't remember it helping.

I remember vowing to God...If I ever know someone going through this, I will not turn away or be too busy to help. I will be your grace. Your love with skin on.

The pastor of the AWANA church has a pregnant wife and an active, exceptionally adorable 4-year-old boy named Haddon. I've had him in AWANA Cubbies for verse time all this year. I couldn't love him any more than I do...but I'm sure I will. 

If I'd married younger and my husband agreed, I would have had ten children at least. I love a large brood.

Anyhow, what I mean to say is...I offered my help to this couple and they've accepted, though I don't know how often yet. Pastor said last night that he'd give us a couple days notice and not just call on a whim, saying he was bringing Haddon over.

But last night I thought a lot about hospitality. Opening my home to help means it needs to be open anytime (except on physical therapy day). Hospitality isn't letting someone worry about giving 48-hour notice.

I'm trying to get myself on a stricter schedule so I'm ready at any time. Haddon will fit right in with my kids, especially since we all think he's the most wonderful little boy. Everything he says tickles us silly and we find even his stuttering problem very endearing.

God has spoken again to me about organization. Blessing others--being Jesus with skin on--is far easier when we run our own lives efficiently. The more time I take for my interests, like blogging or reading, the less time I can give to others. The more activities I get my children involved with, the same is true--the less time we have to bless others and the less my children grow up valuing service.

The Lord puts together opportunities for my children; I don't have to chase them. The piano just landed in our laps and Paul plays beautifully learning from quality books on his own.

Our friend Dean from California does woodworking, for example, and Peter has developed an interest in building his own birdhouses. No class required! Dean loves to help others and he needs the company and the home-cooked meals, as much as Peter needs the training with tools.

Now back to the Holy Spirit's voice on organization...in order to give God his due time, I have to compartmentalize and prioritize better.

I don't want to offer up just my prayer and Bible reading time, but also time to bless others, especially when it flows naturally from my care of my own children. My four benefit from our Saturday Children's Bible Study too, so I'm not taking away from my own as I bless other children. The same will be true when Haddon spends time with us.

The Lord pours into us vertically so we can use our overflowing hearts to bless others. His love isn't meant to be hidden in our hearts, but to be exposed and expressed outwardly. 

We never help anyone in our own strength. He equips us.

The most important lesson I had to learn--coming from a broken Catholic tradition and finally learning about a personal relationship with Jesus--is that I wasn't supposed to try and be a good girl all on my own, frustrating my heart and spiraling into defeat.

Yes, God asks us to be Holy. But that holiness flows through Him into us...as Grace.

Giving thanks today...

Thank you, Father...

...that Beth's arthritis is finally responding to the methotrexate and her therapy schedule may be reduced soon. Yippee! My girl is running around like a champ!

...that Lexie walked back into our lives yesterday, with hugs all around. Peter's OCD drives him crazy around girls because he now feels, at age 11, a physical attraction. The OCD voice tells him he's sinning because of this attraction, so Lexie had to chase him around the couch to give him a hug. He finally consented because I said it's okay to hug someone you haven't seen in a long while. He's a handsome, kind boy and more than one girl pays attention chases him, much to his despair. See book below, which we plan on reading.

Yes, a big prayer request...that the OCD will go away for good. I'm all for keeping contact to a minimum and pushing courtship rather than dating, but I don't want Peter feeling this awful, distorted OCD angst. Martin Luther, father of the Reformation, felt this same OCD religious distortion and praise God, it saved us from the wrong direction the Church was going. God used Luther's suffering for His glory.

With tween girls entering puberty, what defense does your young son have against their brazen pursuit? Give him the courage and knowledge to protect his purity. Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys, offers seven guided conversations, what-if scenarios, and honest responses to difficult questions that will help your child set boundaries. Also includes questions to ask your daughter. Synopsis from Christian book.com (purchase here)

Lexie's grandfather and her mother still have not reconciled (she's not moving back in with her grandparents), but she will be able to spend some nights with them, even coming to our Saturday Children's Bible Study some of the time.

She quickly made herself at home, helping me whip up chocolate chip cookie bars for the hungry AWANA Cubbies, then thoroughly licking the bowl.

...for a warm husband to hug on winter nights.

...for sweet AWANA Cubbies to delight me on Wednesday nights.

...for blessed hugs from my children.

...for brand-new coats from Goodwill for my girls, tags still on. It's been a nightmare year, keeping these kids in coats. I'll spare you the seam-ripping details.

What are you thankful for today?

Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly in 2013

Today, the Lord has put it upon my heart to explore what it means, and what it costs, to be "set apart". An incident occurred at church yesterday that prompted my thoughts in this direction.

In Peter's children's church class the teacher begin the lesson by saying, "As I point to you, tell me what your favorite Christmas present was." 

I don't have to tell you that no one said Immanuel --"God with us". 

90% of them said that an i-Pod was their favorite gift. These are tween children in grades 4th-6th. I know there's enormous pressure to conform to modern technology, but parents are forgetting something. There are plenty of computer-savvy children in school who know how to disengage the parental controls on these things, and they would gladly do it for anyone who asks, just to make a name for themselves. 

Giving children and teens hand-held access to the Internet is asking for trouble. 70% of middle school children admit to viewing pornography, and hand-held access--portable access that can be taken to school or out in the neighborhood--is going to make this tragedy far worse. Even children who have a computer--or a cable TV for that matter--in their bedroom are similarly at risk of heart poisoning. 

But aside from that, my son felt embarrassed as the teacher asked this. He got a card game and some candy and a whoopie cushion in his stocking. What was he supposed to answer? When it was finally his turn he remembered that my cousin came on Christmas Eve and gave all my children a webkinz stuffed animal and a $15 Target card. 

He and Paul enjoyed caring for their stuffed animal using the Webkinz site, so he told the class that a webkinz was his favorite present.

The hurt from the church doesn't stop there. On his last AWANA day of the year, the AWANA commander  reminded the kids at a Christmas party that the presents "they would all open on Christmas morning" were not the true meaning of Christmas. At this same Christmas party Santa made an appearance and gave each child a mug with a cocoa pack and some trinkets. Oh, boy. How we hate it as parents when Santa shows up at church. I got the feeling that the new pastor of this AWANA church wasn't too happy with Santa's appearance either, but I guess he must have approved it. Or maybe he wasn't asked? I don't know. 

Wanting kids to believe that a mere man is powerful enough to make it all around the world in one night, giving presents to every child--even kids whose father lost a job?--seems like asking them to equate Santa with God. Only God could do such a thing, and he doesn't care to. He wants us to use the resources he's graciously given us to behave benevolently at Christmas and all through the year, not necessarily toward our own American children who have plenty, but to the people of the world who don't know the Good News, and who don't have basic necessities. 

What is the purpose of encouraging a Christian child to believe in Santa? A Christian child trying to learn how loving and powerful and sovereign our Heavenly Father is? 

Loving acts originate with our Father and He should get the glory for them, not Santa.

9-year-old Aidan, my neighbor, was with us that night at AWANA. It was his third visit. His father doesn't have a job and his mother works part-time. If any presents ended up in his hands at all on Christmas morning, they would come from a grandmother already strapped with helping this family with necessities. When the teacher uttered, "all the presents you kids will open on Christmas morning" she was being woefully short-sighted. 

I was saddened and did my best to diffuse the situation on the ride home. I asked my own boys on the ride home if it bothered them when she said that, since they wouldn't be opening any gifts. They said that, yes, it did make them feel sad. 

Aidan didn't say anything, but I hope he at least felt less alone.

After I heard the teacher say this, I glanced at Aidan and saw that his chest heaved and fell suddenly, as though he felt the weight of his situation keenly.

My children know the blogs of Ann Voskamp and Shaun Groves fairly well. I often discuss the contents with them and they've come to respect these families as true Christian soldiers. Neither of these families buy Christmas presents for their children, though Ann may do stockings. I've seen real stockings hanging on her mantel. Not the huge stockings available now, but real socks (that would hold little).

Knowing that these families don't do gifts either helped my children accept our resolve to give our resources and our time to others, rather than concentrating on ourselves at Christmas. Ann's family goes through the Compassion and World Vision gift catalogues to give farm animals and other necessities to the poor. Shaun's family gives 50% of their resources away as a rule, all year long.

I'm dismayed that along with the Bible, I only have blogs to help my children grasp and embrace the truth and live boldly for Christ. The church? It fails. The church has one foot in the world and the danger of both feet setting there is imminent. Those who study Truth need to share Truth. Boldly.  

When my children play with neighborhood children, I often have to disciple them through the experience, teaching them how Jesus feels differently than their friends, about this or that topic. 

Lately I find myself doing this after a church experience too, and that profoundly saddens me and makes me more bold in my teaching on this blog. While I don't like to offend anyone, I do want Jesus to win hearts, not Satan. I want Him to reign supreme in our hearts. I want all Christians to fight for the principles Jesus taught.

As I train my children in the wisdom and truth of the Bible, I'm finding that Micah 6:8 is a good take-away verse for all that was important to our Lord, along with the all-encompassing "love your neighbor as yourself". 

Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.

To live justly means we shouldn't act like Nelly Olsen from the Little House books, nor should we act like the neighborhood bully--taking what isn't ours and oppressing others. Does the world act justly? I've given extreme examples, true, but I submit to you that the world does indeed act like Nelly Olsen and the neighborhood bully. 

When we take more than we need, indulging many or most of our wants, even to the point of debt, we're a spoiled Nelly Olsen. When we stock the bottom of our Christmas tree with multiple gifts that are mostly unneeded, while others live with their needs perpetually unmet, we are like the bully, oppressing others. We take the resources God has graciously given, and we waste them and live in the flesh. 

We store up treasures and turn away from the poor on the next block and in the next land. The fact that Christmas has become more cultural than spiritual is a good example of this. We can say until we're blue in the face that Christmas is not about the presents, but to a child who opens several or more presents on this day, our bit of truth rings empty, hollow. Their mind works thus: if it's not about the presents, then why do I open so many on this day, and how can I not look forward to that with unbridled excitement?

We're setting our kids up for failure, spiritually speaking. They will grow up to do the same things at Christmas and other parts of the year, and the pressure to conform to the culture might even tempt them toward debt. Those in debt can give very little to anyone. They're slaves and their master (Satan) is merciless.

Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

I sincerely ask every parent out there to pray about and contemplate Micah 6:8. Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly.

Teach your own heart, your church, and your children, what it means to act justly throughout the year. Teach what it means to love mercy and not hold grudges or allow our hearts to harden against others. To mercy someone means to love them even when they don't deserve it, and even when it's inconvenient. It means to extend God's mercy to the hurting and the suffering and the hungry. 

Teach that we must walk humbly, knowing that Christ died for us ugly sinners, thereby buying us and setting us apart for His purposes. We do not own our days or our destiny, and any good in us is from His spirit alone. To walk humbly also means to cast off all sense of entitlement.

I have gathered verses that discuss being set apart for God. They're at the bottom of this post. It's in our best interest to pray these into our hearts in this, a new year. 

The world can hurt us and pressure us as we live set apart. My son can attest to that. To aid our own hearts, and our children's hearts, in this set-apart living, we must read God's word, allowing the Holy Spirit to strengthen our resolve. Hold your children close; stay in touch with their hearts; disciple them. Give them the sense of belonging they desperately need in this broken, hostile world. 

If they don't get it from their own home they'll go to the world for that sense of belonging. And the result? Deep sorrow will visit our parental hearts.

Again, before I close, I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sure there are some of you who carefully gave away in kindness as much as you put under your own tree. I know you are out there. God bless your resolve to act justly.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

1 Peter 2:9 But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:

1 Peter 5:8  Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

1 Peter 1:16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

James 1:27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

image source

Diary of a Discipleship Relationship

After our friend Lexi responded so enthusiastically to AWANA and her new Bible, I feared spiritual attacks aimed both at her enthusiasm, and at our ability to disciple her. After she completed her school homework on Thursday, she put her Bible in a plastic grocery bag and headed over to our house.

I know this how, exactly? Because Peter loves to look out the window and announce the comings and goings of his friends.

Lexi, being highly distracted, got involved in squabbles with neighborhood kids along the way and it wasn't until after 6:00 PM that she made it over here, her Bible still in one piece. :)

That squeezed our evening awkwardly but we did manage to serve her ice cream and have a Bible reading and study time with her. And some more good news!  We got permission to take her to church with us this Sunday, at her suggestion. She's still very excited about all this, thank you, Jesus.

I must be better organized to accommodate regular Bible study with her. One-on-one discipleship is something I strongly believe in. In my mind it's the most effective method for The Church to grow strong enough to really impact society for Christ--and I don't refer to strength in numbers. Too many Christians live like everyone else, resulting in a weakened, low-impact presence in our world.

One-on-one discipleship is not only training in the Word, but a concentrated question and answer, teacher and student relationship that builds trust and digs in deep, meeting the believer, or the seeker, right where she's at.

Satellite church groups popular now, in which small groups of a congregation meet during the week, don't meet the need for personal discipleship. They certainly help identify problems and prayer needs and keep people accountable for attending church regularly--making them feel welcome, as though their presence matters to people. But without someone studied in the Word willing to meet one-on-one with a stagnant, new, or weak believer, the impact of these groups remains low as a whole. Pastors and deacons often can't commit to the time-intensive endeavor of one-on-one discipleship, especially when marital problems, hospital visits, and crisis management take up so much of their time. It's up to individual believers to commit to one-on-one discipleship in the name of Christ, through the strength of Christ.

I benefited greatly from two years of one-on-one discipleship from a fellow school teacher, after which I married and began receiving teaching from my Bible-scholar husband. As soon as I believed through my teacher friend's leading, there were constant question and answer sessions and on-going Bible Studies, all with a widow who needed the fellowship as much as I needed the discipleship. God works wonders when we let Him use us--when we say yes to His agenda. 

When I became a mom to my first colicky baby and held a part-time, at-home job, my walk with Christ weakened, strengthening again when I quit working and when special needs in my son, accompanied with husband's job loss, drove me to the Word for answers, for comfort, for survival.

Without that foundation laid through intensive discipleship, I wouldn't have known--wouldn't have experienced--that Bible and prayer hold all the answers. Often our first response is to look to the world for answers, but when someone trains you, really trains you, in how to cling to God, it becomes your knee-jerk reaction to the trouble in this life. And as you fall in love with the Lord through your study, your time with Him is a pleasure.

Last night revealed something important: One hurdle in training Lexi in the Word will be her reading ability. She repeated third grade and now in the fourth grade, she's still presumably toward the bottom of the class, at least in reading. Retention, which my state does a lot of, is rarely the answer for students not making the grade. Another year of the same type of institutionalized learning doesn't help and could hinder. 

Lexi miscued on half the words she read from the Gospel of Mark and without my husband's verbal recounting of the passage for her, she would have comprehended little. She wouldn't let me read it while she followed along. Turns out she likes to read aloud. I didn't make mention of her reading difficulties. She was happy to miscue and keep going, not concerning herself with whether the sentences carried any meaning for her. It was as though she liked being the center of attention, more than anything else, but she did listen attentively to husband's teaching and she asked many questions as he spoke, which allowed him to hone in on her misconceptions.

A couple common misconceptions were cleared up last night. Lexi thought that if you sin a whole lot or commit a really big sin, you would go to hell--which she thought was just a burning and instant death, rather than eternal suffering. And if you just committed regular sins, you would still go to Heaven. Husband also explained Satan's background and a little about how he works his evil.

I'm going to introduce her to Bible web tools, including a site allowing her to listen to the Bible online, and read it online with different sized fonts.  

She has ADHD and 65% of these kids have co-morbid disorders, which could include OCD, tic disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, learning disabilities, and oppositional defiant disorder. She has anxiety which causes her to pick scabs mercilessly and cut herself, she has oppositional defiant disorder, and some difficulty associated with reading.  It took me several years to figure out that my son's ADHD comes with dysgraphia, which is difficulty with all aspects of writing--spelling, handwriting, and organizing thoughts on paper. Obviously I'm no expert on processing disorders, but I hope to help Lexi nonetheless, maybe using her desire to read aloud to help her practice--without her even knowing I'm remediating her, hopefully.

But I'm already a busy mom and this all feels overwhelming, just as Satan wants it to! 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I'l keep chanting it. I know a couple of you have been praying for Lexi and I want to thank you. Fruit is forthcoming, I believe.

Lots of progress on day one! And a bonus is that my children witnessed all of it, making them more apt to disciple someone on their own in the future, as they watch it unfold. I disciple them throughout the day, but they're so used to it they don't know what I'm up to. Seeing it done this way, they can identify it in their minds as discipleship in action and mimic it when God presents the opportunity. Our neighborhood has become a means for them to practice their faith, to stand up for Jesus and withstand the pressure to fit in, with mom and dad right there to provide assistance, strength, and prayer, as needed.

I think it's so neat--looking back on those years of a quiet neighborhood and us praying for friends--that God waited until my boys were strong in the Lord to present them with a broken world looking in all the wrong places for answers. Everyone, kids and adults alike, want to be accepted, to belong, and therein lies hidden mines, planted by Satan, capable of destroying hearts and futures.

They all need the same answer. Christ. The Redeemer, the Lover of Your Soul, to whom you will forever belong, to whom you can always go, through whom you receive love, purpose and peace.

Go! Tell them the good news!

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Hallelujah! 

The Body of Christ, Part 3

agapegeek.com

Just as we all have gifts designed to build up the Body of Christ, we all have weaknesses too. Just as the Body of Christ needs us, we need the Body of Christ, which is why we must regularly be in fellowship with other believers, both in our home church and at work and in our neighborhoods--wherever we can find fellow believers.

But why? Can't we just religiously read our Bibles, pray much, and get sanctified right in our own homes? Other people only complicate our walks, don't they?

A resounding No! We need the Body of Christ to help us see ourselves as we really are. Sinners. Broken, Messy.

I have an idea of myself that doesn't match reality. And you do too. We tend to think of ourselves the way we want to be. The person we aspire to be. The problem with this is that while we're too judgmental of other people, we're too easy on ourselves. We don't see the plank in our own eyes because we're blinded by a false image of who we are.

When we can pull off a good "Christian front", we go to church, acting like all is well. But when our lives get so messy we can't hide it, we avoid fellowship.

As I researched for this piece I read article after article, never finding anything on the reality I knew to be true. That Christians don't want to be vulnerable and share burdens. It's too scary and we're too weak.

So the beautiful Body of Christ concept that we work as one body to build up the Church, never becomes reality.

Finally, I found this article. It exudes candidness and power and truth. Here is an excerpt:

Multiply this by the hundreds of millions of broken Christians. They are merely human, but their church says they must be more than human to be good Christians. They cannot speak of or even acknowledge their troubled lives. Their marriages are wounded. Their children are hurting. They are filled with fear and the sins of the flesh. They are depressed and addicted, yet they can only approach the church with the lie that all is well, and if it becomes apparent that all is not well, they avoid the church.

I do not blame the church for this situation. It is always human nature to avoid the mirror and prefer the self-portrait. I blame all of us who know better. We know this is not the message of the Gospels, the Bible or of Jesus. But we-- every one of us--is afraid to live otherwise. What if someone knew we were not a good Christian? Ah...what if...what if....

I close with something I have said many times before. The Prodigal son, there on his knees, his father's touch upon him, was not a "good" or "victorious" Christian. He was broken. A failure. He wasn't even good at being honest. He wanted religion more than grace. His father baptized him in mercy, and resurrected him in grace. His brokenness was wrapped up in the robe and the embrace of God.

Why do we want to be better than that boy? Why do we make the older brother the goal of Christian experience? Why do we want to add our own addition to the parable, where the prodigal straightens out and becomes a successful youth speaker, writing books and doing youth revivals?

This? It's sad truth. We're afraid to admit that despite getting saved, we're still a mess. We don't get too close to the Body of Christ for fear they will find us out. If we could see ourselves the way the person in the next pew sees us, we would really begin to grow. We would come face to face with our daily need for Grace.

We don't need Jesus just the one time--the moment of our salvation. We need him to cover our brokenness every day. We'll be broken and needy until we take our last breath on this earth. Let's not paint too rosy a picture and so deceive ourselves and others. The full fix doesn't come until heaven.

As we fellowship and persevere in the experience, we learn this. That we're all the same...a mess. No one escapes brokenness, no matter how much their facade says otherwise.

Yes, fellowship gets messy and people annoy us. We annoy them right back. The solution to messy fellowship is to love our neighbors unconditionally, continuing to forgive time and again. We accomplish this on-going act of grace by learning to see them with Jesus' eyes. With grace eyes.

There's no humbling of spirits when we sit at home, safe from interaction. We remain haughty and harsh, pointing our fingers at everyone else's flaws. In contrast, as a persevering member of the Body, we become as humble and whole as we'll ever be, here on earth. We fill in each other's weaknesses and cover one another, the way Jesus covers us. We become a living picture of the Cross.

So fellow Christians, take a vow. Don't pretend anymore. Be real, fellowship freely, ask for help, accept help, give help. By becoming a persevering member of the Body of Christ, you'll essentially give up your life to save it. You'll become a living sacrifice. So get down and dirty and learn to really love.

Ephesians 5:25-27

Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

An Open Letter to Unhappy Christian Wives

Dear Unhappy,

I want to express my sorrow about your marriage grief. Grappling with complicated relationship issues can be so overwhelming. Please enlist people to earnestly pray for you.

I believe in the Body of Christ concept that we are all One Body. When one person in the Body suffers, the whole Body suffers. Because of this fellow believers need to rally around hurting members and lead them to the Healer, who has all the answers. I pray these words will reveal what God wants for you and for your family.

I understand that in response to your sorrow, the D word has entered your life. The question of divorce is heart wrenching but surprisingly uncomplicated, from a Christian perspective. This is due to the very narrow allowances in scripture for divorce. God tells us for our own good, and for the good of the Body of Believers, that we mustn't get divorced except in cases of adultery, or when an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing spouse. See http://carm.org/what-does-bible-teach-about-divorce for the relevant scriptural references and for questions regarding remarriage.

If neither of these--adultery or abandonment--apply to your marriage, you cannot get divorced without disobeying God, though if you are being abused and are unsafe in your home, leave the premises as soon as possible. Physical distance from the abuser is extremely important.

If you choose to disobey God and pursue a non-biblical divorce, you must weigh the consequences for you, your children, and your husband. God will surely forgive you if you sincerely seek his forgiveness at some future time, but you must be truly sorry for having left your marriage union, and as part of heartfelt repentance, you must seek reconciliation with your spouse, if he has not yet remarried. At the very least, you must seek your former spouse's forgiveness.

Also, scripture does not allow for you to remarry. If you try to seek a relationship with a sincere, growing Christian man, he will want to know the circumstances surrounding your divorce. If it wasn't biblical, only a marginal Christian man would be interested in pursuing the relationship. A mature Christian man would not seek to defy God.

Secondly, you will complicate the developing faith of your children (and your husband's faith, if he has any), as they watch you defy God and try to make your own way in the world. When we disobey God we are stepping outside of His protection--essentially saying we know more than the God of the Universe does. We can handle our problems better than He can. 

That all sounds overwhelming, doesn't it? No one increases their personal peace through non-biblical divorce. Many people will be spiritually hurt by the divorce and possibly for generations, it will spiritually stain your family. Children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced themselves, and second marriages are far less successful than first marriages (80% divorce rate, compared with 50% for first marriages), especially in the cases of non-biblical divorces from the first spouse.

What would be better than divorce? Making Jesus your Lord. This means he runs all aspects of your life, and you live for him and serve him, out of an overwhelming gratitude and love for Him and what he has done for you. If you have lost touch with that radical love for Jesus Christ, pray that God will renew the fire in your heart. 

When you live with a non-believer or with a person who doesn't pursue a relationship with God, it can easily drag you down spiritually. You need to be very diligent to keep the fire in your heart alive, by reading your Bible and praying regularly. Every time we open our Bible or pray to God, it renews a relationship. It nurtures and protects a beautiful bond. When we neglect that time with God, Satan gains a foothold in our lives.

Divorce is Satan's most successful tactic. Over time, it can destroy a society. Satan breeds discontent in the hearts of believers and the discontent leads to sin. If the believer doesn't put a halt to the discontent and embrace thankfulness instead, Satan wins. 

When you accepted Jesus as your Savior, you became his. He paid the ransom for us--he brought us--and if we never receive another blessing at all, we have enough. God is enough. Eternity is enough. When we deceive ourselves into thinking otherwise, great pain is in store for us. 

Every wife has a laundry list of things she doesn't like about her husband. Every husband has the same. Many of the items can be heartrendingly difficult to endure, without Jesus as Lord. But as in all hardship, we must remember that the Christian life has never been about us or about our happiness. It is about serving Him and bringing Him glory. By enduring hardship in a god-honoring way, we bring glory to Him. In fact, how we endure hardship defines us as Christians. 

When we set our minds on the things of the Spirit (keep our eyes fixated on God), whether we are happy or not on a daily basis becomes irrelevant, as it did for the Apostle Paul when he was in prison.

Romans 8:5-8 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. 

For more on what the bible says about hardship and sacrifices, see this http://www.openbible.info/topics/sacrifices_and_hardship

I urge you to start a thankfulness list for your life in general, not just for your marriage. Satan hates thankfulness but God loves it. We are told many places in scripture to live with a thankful heart...even when circumstances are less than ideal.

1 Thessolonians 5:18  give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

You will find that a heart of thankfulness will increase your marriage happiness many fold. You will concentrate not on what's wrong with your spouse, but on all that's right. Eventually, if you commit to having a grateful heart, all the reasons you wanted to seek a divorce will pass away in importance. 

Rest assured that if you make Jesus your Lord and develop a grateful heart, He will diligently work behind the scenes, creating beauty from ashes. Your own heart, devoted to the Lord, will win your husband over. Nagging makes most people dig their heals in deeper rather than change, because as human beings, we seek unconditional love. It's only when we feel unconditionally loved that we give our best to others. 

Give your husband the gift of unconditional love, for it is the same gift your Father gave you. Jesus loved us sacrificially and this is the same love he requires from us, for our fellow man. 

The Bible tells men to love their wives, but it tells women to respect their husbands. Men need to feel respected, more than loved. I think it's accurate to say that respect is love, from their perspective. It is part of the way God created them. When we nag or complain, we are not showing respect and it hurts a man at his core. 

So, giving a man a list and asking him to change is the worst thing we can do. Also, it is arrogant, since we are all sinners and we all need to change. We will never be all that a spouse wants. We can't be. And no spouse can meet all of our needs, which is why we need personal relationships with God, the ultimate and perfect Lover of our souls. Our marriage relationship can't define us. Our relationship with God defines us. 

Change starts in our own hearts and with our own humility, especially in the context of marriage. If we set our gaze on God and on His purposes, the overwhelming peace emanating from us will be contagious, and all in our midst, including our spouse, will want what we have. The Bible tells us we win over a wayward husband by the reverence of our lives. And what is complaining and putting conditions on our love and devotion? Is it reverent?

I'm not saying you shouldn't lovingly pursue conversations about marriage issues, but they should never be associated with the D word (divorce). Throwing the D word around is akin to bullying one's spouse. To be fully engaged and committed, each spouse needs assurance that the other spouse is in the marriage for life. This level of commitment is essential for the health of any marriage. 

All issues should be committed to prayer before being discussed with the spouse. The prayer will reveal, over time, how to approach the spouse about the issue, and it will prepare the spouse's heart to receive feedback about the issue. Let prayer guide your marriage entirely. For prayer is your communication with the Holy Spirit (and to a lesser extent, your time reading the Bible is too). Reading the Bible reveals God's heart to you, and praying helps make God's heart personal to you and your needs. You will know God's perfect and pleasing will, through your prayer time and your reading time.

Again, I express my sorrow about what you are going through. I pray these words will point you to the Healer. To your first Love. May God richly bless you, your family, and your legacy.

My Own Thankfulness List:

- a beautiful time with Christian friends

- a marriage molded by grace

- a dinner invitation given to a neighbor

- the radical nature of Christ's love 

- that change always starts with us

- a hernia surgery scheduled for next week and no money required up front

- a son practicing piano

- dancing daughters

- the Chronicles of Narnia series

- dinner time with my family

- the meat, milk, eggs, bread prices at Aldi's

- the power of the Word 

- 4 days of caring for babies at VBS this week

- my children's contagious excitement about VBS

- Miss Beth's first time at VBS 

To read about the outcome of this letter for the person I wrote it to, click: Unhappy Christian Wives, Part 2

Another helpful post: 3 Christian Marriage Essentials

The Body of Christ, Part 2

agapegeek.com

Today I present Part 2 of my Body of Christ series. Before I get into a practical discussion of our function within the Body, I want to lay some Biblical goundwork for the Body of Christ concept. This will be the heavier reading but please plow through for me, until we get to Part 3?

The Church, referred to in the Bible as the Bride of Christ and the Body of Christ, is made up of all people who've been born again through faith in Jesus' blood. You may live near and work with people from different denominations, but if you're all born again, you are part of the Body of Christ. 

1 Corinthians 12:12-14
Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Last year I did a study on the Lord's Prayer and we learned that the beginning words "our father" were used for a purpose; we're not individuals, but members of One Body, and we're to pray and act as such. 

From a previous post: The Lord's Prayer, Vol. 1 Both the words Father and Our point to a familial relationship. When we become a Christian we are grafted into the Body of Christ (the Body of Believers).  We are brethren to one another and God is our Father.  It's important to regard our membership in the Body seriously, for it carries a responsibility. We must always be looking and working toward the good of the Body, our Brethren.

Philippians 2:4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Mark 12:31 The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

For example, when we sin, it not only harms us, but the whole body.  We are not to be individual operators, but rather, operate as a cooperative body--spending time in fellowship with one another, praying for and with one another, helping one another in need, building each other up, admonishing in love when necessary.

What does Christ want his Bride (The Church) to be like? Ephesians 5:25-27 describes us as "without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

Revelation 19:7-9 tells us we will be "clothed in fine linen, bright and pure--for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints."

How is the Body of Christ to operate and care for itself? Scripture points to a number of ways, but mainly we must 1) meet together 2) serve, love, and pray for each other 3) hold one another accountable 4) dedicate ourselves, as One Body, to Christ.

1) We must meet together:  We know from Hebrews 10:24-25 that we are to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together."

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

2) We must serve, love, and pray for one another. Each member has gifts to contribute to build up the Body:

Mark 12:31 The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

Ephesians 4:11-12  “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.” 

Ephesians 4:16 
From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Here you can take a spiritual gifts inventory to find out what your spiritual gifts are, taken from this widely accepted list:

Administration:  The ability to organize resources and persons for effective ministry.

Community Builder (Apostleship): The ability to help create koinonia, that unique type of inclusive fellowship which characterized the early Christian church.

Discernment: The ability to recognize and to affirm the skills, talents, and spiritual gifts of other people, especially other Christians.

Evangelism: The capacity to discern when and how the Gospel message should be communicated to persons outside the Christian community.

Exhortation: The capacity to inspire, to motivate, and to encourage others in their spiritual formation and personal ministry.

Faith: It is the special gift whereby the Spirit provides Christians with extraordinary confidence in God's promises, power, and presence so that they can take heroic stands for their future of God's work in the church.

Giving: The capacity to manage one's own resources (income, time, energy, skills, and gifts) in such a way that there is more than enough to share with other people.

Hospitality: The ability to meet the basic social needs of and to extend care to persons (strangers) beyond one's immediate circle of friends.

Knowledge: The capacity to cognitively comprehend the complexities of God's Truth and to explain these complexities to others.

Leadership: The ability to understand one's own principles and vision, to communicate those principles and vision to others, and to challenge others to move into the future, all in a non-reactive way.

Mercy: The ability to identify with and to feel the pains and hurts of another person and the capacity to help that person move beyond those pains and hurts.

Prophecy: The capacity to receive, to reveal, or to interpret God's Truth, publicly, no matter what the consequences or risks.

Shepherding/ Mentoring:  The ability to affirm, to equip, and to support other Christians in spiritual formation and Christian ministry.

Helps/Service: The ability and overwhelming desire to aid persons in need. The ability to perform the most basic acts of kindness as a means to glorify God and to embody the Gospel.

Teaching: The capacity to create an environment in which obedience to God's Truth can be practiced.

Wisdom: The capacity to convincingly illustrate the mystery of God's Truth in very concrete, practical, and specific ways.

3) We must be accountable to one another.

We mustn't associate accountability with confrontation, for accountability is essential to us in our infirmities. The verses I've listed below admonish us to:  help our friends when they fall; defend each other; teach and admonish each other; submit to one another; be truthful with one another; confess our sins to each other; and pray for each other.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. 

Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 

Ephesians 5:21
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Colossians 3:9-10

Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

4) We must dedicate ourselves, as one Body, to Christ: 

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices (to give up your pursuits as an individual, and live as One), holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. 

The Body of Christ, Part 1

My last post, Are You Isolated From the Body of Christ?, asked these questions:


How does the Body of Christ share burdens it doesn't understand? How can we make ourselves vulnerable, when we know understanding isn't there? Can we just share our neighbors' burdens in love, but never really put ourselves out there?


I contemplated this while I washed dishes, folded laundry, and drove my Beth to physical therapy. What's expected of me...of all of us...Lord? What should the Body of Christ look like, practically speaking?


No answer came, until I got back from physical therapy. 


Picture it, my three year old is having a fit as I carry her into the house, crying because swim therapy on Tuesdays and gym therapy on Wednesdays is a lot for her atrophied but starting-to-revive muscles. She's exhausted and irrational and I'm hot and headachy from a 28-minute van ride sans air conditioning.


My husband has a special arrangement to go into work at 5:30 AM on Wednesdays so he can come home for a few hours and watch the other children while Beth does her Wednesday session. Tuesdays I bring them all with me.


So husband's home when I get Beth into the house, but he's rushing to get on the road to his second job. He quickly informs me that the secretary at his church job mentioned today that she may lose her insurance soon because she and her husband "might have to get divorced". 


Concerned, he took the liberty to tell her that his wife saved a marriage recently by writing both parties a letter, and maybe I could help her? 


Husband doesn't know the issues but asked me if I would call her and talk with her about the issues? 

Talking on the phone with strangers who are not from utility companies and insurance companies and doctor's offices, always panics me because I'm shy. My three year old is still fitting and needs lunch and my husband's old friend Jim and his wife are supposed to stop by tomorrow on the way to Yellowstone, so the house needs to be in nice shape before Thursday afternoon.


Don't I already have my hands full and how I do find the time to help this woman? And who says she even wants help? Casually mentioning she may have to get divorced is not necessarily a plea for help.


But none of this actually made it out of my mouth because the Holy Spirit suddenly gave me a beautiful picture of what the Body of Christ should look like. And all my objections melted away and as I carried my three year old to the couch to nurse her and calm her down. 


I said to my husband, "I will do what I can to help, but remember I'm a writer not a talker. I never could have helped the other couple outside of a letter."


How it will work with the secretary and her husband, I don't know. But I have a clearer picture of the Body of Christ to share with you...later this week.


Please join me?