A Curious Thing About Prayer and Humility

 

I live with five other people, intimately. Much can be learned about human flaws through home observation. Each separate family is uniquely capable of shaping its members through divine appointment. 




What God has brought together, let man not separate. If we want to reach our highest potential in Christ, we'd do well to spend time with our families. It's therapy for free.


As we've prayed together more and more, I've noticed something important. To be humble is not natural. No one wants to acknowledge personal sin before God and man. We can pray very important things easily, but when it comes to a uniquely personal sin we're struggling with, we remain mum. Or we only mention it in private, before God. 


I'm discovering there's a reason the Bible says to confess our sins to each other. I never thought about it much before now, but this is huge. 


James 5:16
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.



At any given time each person has a long-standing sin the Holy Spirit is working to eradicate--be it anger, ingratitude, idleness, harshness, etc. In our haughtiness, when we ignore the Holy Spirit, the sin persists for a long time. It's the thing we struggle with the most. It's the thing we're least likely to admit to anyone. But as sins go, it isn't necessarily something jaw-dropping, like adultery. 


It's our own Achilles Heal, if you will. It doesn't fit with the image we want to present. At times we fail to see ourselves as we really are, because we're so caught up in our image of ourselves. We know this Achilles Heal makes us an impostor. 


And who wants to be seen as an impostor?


We deceive ourselves into thinking we can take care of it. We try different things with wavering motivation, but always, we fail to eradicate it.


The Humility of God


Noticing this aspect of human nature, I had a discussion with my children about the humility of God. He came to us a helpless baby, though he was God. He let them nail him to a tree, though he was God. He died a slow, agonizing death, though he was God.


His example for us screams this word: Humility


After speaking with them about Jesus humbling himself, I explained how hard it is for us to humble ourselves and admit sin. Heads nodded in response. They get this. 


But if we love God, if we want to be his disciple, we must do this. We must choose humility as Jesus did...go low before our loved ones. Reveal who we really are, so God can make us new.


Peter's been struggling mightily and mumbling prayers begrudgingly lately. He really listened to my words. And then...he said it. Quickly, before he lost his nerve. 


Dear God, Help me with my anger.


Behold, He makes all things new. Hallelujah!

Monday Devotions, Psalm 19

The heavens declare the glory of God; 
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 
 Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge. 
 They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world. 
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. 
     It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, 
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
It rises at one end of the heavens 
    and makes its circuit to the other; 
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.

 The law of the Lord is perfect, 
    refreshing the soul. 
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, 
    making wise the simple. 
 The precepts of the Lord are right, 
    giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
    giving light to the eyes. 
 The fear of the Lord is pure,
    enduring forever.
The decrees of the Lord are firm,
    and all of them are righteous.

They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the honeycomb.
By them your servant is warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.
But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Prayer Time:

My Dear Father, how I love you. You are worthy of praise. Thank you for the wondrous beauty to feast my eyes one. Thank you for your Word to feast my heart on. Thank you for your grace, for it humbles me. Your sacrifice, it saves me.

Forgive me for my sins, Father. Cleanse my heart. Thank you for making all things new. Make me your instrument of grace and love today. Bless me, after a poor night of sleep, as I take the children to the ophthalmologist to have Beth's eye inflammation checked. If the news is good, I praise You. If not, I still praise you, but please comfort us in our sorrow. Take away our fear. Give us the strength to trust in your plan for her life. 

Give us a good learning day; may your spirit prevail. May I, and all the friends reading, keep our eyes on you, whatever the day shall bring. May each friend find a blessing from you today. May we give thanks to you in all things.

In your name I pray, Amen.

Scripture source

Happy Mother's Day 2012

Mother and Child in a Boat, 1892
by Edmund Charles Tarbell

This is my twelfth Mother's Day. My children are so young that at least for now, it's not so much a day to be honored...though my Mother's Day pictures and yard-picked weedflowers are many. One picture was even painted on the floor with feet, not so long ago.


For those of us still in the trenches, where spilt milk knows no holiday, this day is hopefully one of renewed inspiration. 

For no work is harder than this, and no reward greater. Truth be told, we can never have what it takes to be perfect mothers. No mother does. 




So...what is a great mother? One whose sacrifice knows no bounds?  One who's gentle and quiet? One who's ever-present? One who believes in her children and makes them believe in themselves? 


No...though all these endeavors are wonderful. 


I think a great mother has two assets: her prayers, her Bible.


We can't control every emotion, every response. But we can pray and read. We can fill ourselves with Him, and give the gift of Him.





If they leave us wearing Him like a favored sweater, we've made an eternal contribution. Well done, good and faithful servant, the Lord will say.


I found a beautiful poem, but before you read that, I'll say a prayer for us all:


Dear Heavenly Father,


We thank you, Father, for the gift of children. What a precious journey, is motherhood. Thank you for every smile, every hug, every tiny foot to kiss.


Thank you for the heart molding, the soul shaping. May we remember to give the gift of You, Father, above all else. For without you, our children have nothing. May we fill ourselves with you, so we can pour You out. Give us strength, give us focus. May your loving grace prevail in our homes and hearts, each day.


Bless each friend, each reader here. May we pray for and encourage one another, through your Holy Spirit. 


In Your Son's name we pray, Amen

My Mother's Gift

From a large family I did grow,
Through my mom God I did know.
Though our cupboards were nearly bare,
What we had to others we did share.
It took a tin of flour to feed us each week,
Yet half she gave and then my mom’s faith did she keep.
Mom gave half of what she ownded to eat,
Still that tin of flour lasted us all week.
God provided us with food each day,
Giving thanks to God my mother would pray.
A family in need the church did say,
Again my mother gave some of our food away.
With our food to share to church we did go,
But there was something my mother did not know.
The family in need was my family I must say,
And once again God had provided a way.
The gift from my mom is more precious than Gold,
It can not be bought and it can not be sold.
She taught me God’s love each day,
And taught me how to kneel and pray.
This is the gift my mom gave to me,’
I will treasure it through out eternity.~ Lillian Smith ~
Stockton, California

photos found here

Punishment vs. Discipline

 Joseph Wright, American Artist (1756-1793)
The Wright Family

Sometimes the Lord allows us to have horrible parenting weeks. The longer I parent and pray, the more I see these weeks as an answer to prayer.


What? A horrible week is an answer to prayer? That's messed up.


It would seem so. 


This last week my son's temper sent objects flying against the wall. Doors slammed repeatedly. His shouting became as commonplace as the robin's song outside the window. 


Only the robin didn't send our bodies into fight-or-flight mode.


I had to get on my knees and plead, "Help, Lord! We can't live like this!" And sure enough, insight came to me. Valuable insight I wouldn't have gathered in a normal parenting week. 


Ahem. Normal being a relative term.


Have you ever contemplated the difference between discipline and punishment? Discipline comes from the root word disciple, which means to teach.


Punishment, on the other hand, is that which God and the courts administer. When you break a law you have a debt to pay to society, and that debt usually involves jail time, community service, or worse. Only God and the courts have the God-ordained authority to punish.


So...where does that leave parents? 


It leaves us with that all-important word disciple. God desires that we teach our children, not punish them. 


Do you find yourself harboring a punishment mentality? Do you want to "get back at them" for what they've done to you? Do you dole out knee-jerk responses based solely on your anger over being wronged? Either with words, or hasty slaps or spankings?


Then you may be guilty. You may have chosen punishment over discipline, and you've done nothing to teach your child. Although, as we've all experienced, humble apologies speak volumes to our children.


The best discipling comes from example, which is why Jesus rarely left his disciples during his earthly ministry. This is precisely why we homeschool: to facilitate a Jesus-style discipling of our children.


Now stay with me here. This isn't a liberal-mentality, anti-spanking post.


I'm not judging you for having a punishment mentality, believe me. My exhortation posts address my own flaws, first and foremost; they're self-preaching. While every parent is guilty of a punishment mentality at times, those of us with very challenging children are more vulnerable.


The message to the child is this: 


~ You don't belong here.
~ You're unworthy.
~ You're too much trouble.
~  I like the others better than you.
~  I wish you weren't here messing up my life.


And the consequences of these messages? More bad behavior from your child. It's as though your child gets worse to prove to himself what he already suspects: You don't love him.


And the truth is, retaliatory actions speak anything but love, so the child's conclusions aren't unreasonable, especially if you retaliate on a regular basis. 


Now, if a young child goes out into the street after you've told her to stop, you might give her a calculated little spanking on the bottom. That is negative discipline, not punishment. You're not trying to get her back. It's not eye-for-an-eye, tooth-for-a-tooth, in this case.


Negative discipline and punishment can be difficult to distinguish, but ultimately, your heart will tell you the difference. Were you trying to retaliate in anger and indignation, or were you trying to train? That's the question.


Positive discipline is giving more playtime outside, or another privilege, for a job well done. Negative discipline involves losing a privilege, or being sent to a time-out spot, or possibly, it's a controlled spanking. 


Most children need a combination of both positive and negative discipline, though with easy-going children, positive discipline is usually enough. 


Use if/then statements. If you clean your room in a timely manner, then you'll have more time to play. If you eat all your dinner, then you can have dessert.


When things get tense, try the two-choices tactic. You have two choices: you can obey me and pick up your toy right now, or you can go to your room. This tactic resolves most tense situations. 


For real fired-up situations, like I've dealt with all week, sending the child to their room is still the best solution. It gives your child's adrenalin, and your own, time to diminish. (My children, by the way, have sparse bedrooms. The toys are kept in the playroom.) 


Then, go in and pray with your child. After this you'll hopefully receive a heart-felt apology. 


Next, talk about anger management techniques. (You'll probably have to research these, if you don't already have literature on them.) 


Another thing to share with your child: It's not a sin to be angry. It's what we do in our anger, that can lead to sin.


We'll delve into this topic more as the Lord leads me, but right now, search your heart. Are you training or punishing?


If the answer grieves you, get on your knees and pray for the very self-control you desire from your child. Good parenting always starts with a good self-cleaning. 


When our hearts are right, their hearts will follow.

Friday Devotions, 5/11

The Picture Hat
John  Strevens (British 1902-1990)

Friday Devotions, 5/11

Today's Text: 1 Peter 3:1-6

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, ² when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 

This passage follows one about Christ's submission on the cross. Then we read, "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your husbands." Christ won us over by suffering quietly, not by putting up a fight. If you are married to an unbeliever, to a backslider, or to a lazy, undisciplined Christian, keep quiet about your grievances, for your actions will speak louder. Plan and carry out your own devotions, and be in prayer for daily strength, for you will suffer in your heart about your husband's lack of faith. There's no doubt that loving Christ and living with someone who doesn't, is suffering. Pray and ask for prayer, for your burden is indeed great.

Read the Word and live it. Trust in the Holy Spirit to do the rest of the work in your husband's heart. The passage specifically says, "They may be won over without words".

I'm at least ten years older than most of my readers, and at times that generation gap probably creates problems. Young believers in American are succumbing to a "progressive Christianity", similar to a Rob Bell (author of Love Wins), watered-down gospel. 

Here is just part of a review of the Rob Bell book: The theology is heterodox. The history is inaccurate. The impact on souls is devastating. And the use of Scripture is indefensible. Worst of all, Love Wins demeans the cross and misrepresents God’s character.

Feminism is alive and well, too, in "progressive Christianity". Friends, I am not a feminist. I believe God gave explicit instructions in the Word for how women are to be treated, and for how women are to conduct themselves. God is perfect, all-knowing. Whatever he says works, period. 


Many of us were brought up in contrast to what the Bible teaches about women. Growing up, I heard this more than anything else: "Get a good education so you don't have to depend on a man." There's nothing wrong with an education. But the idea that we do it to be independent of a man? That has its problems.


As a result of this sentiment, we have generations of women who don't know how to be homemakers. I knew nothing about homemaking when I married at age 33. I'd spent ten years as a dedicated, workaholic teacher, not in learning how to cook or sew or take care of a home efficiently. 


I still know little, but I'm working on that. If women had these skills, it would be far less necessary for us to bring in extra money. For homemaking skills lend themselves to frugality. Good homemakers are good stewards of the resources God gives.


I would also argue that the selfless love required of mothers is no longer taught either. What is motherhood now? Just a side thing in many minds, to show we can "have it all." 


I don't have to tell you that the nation's children are suffering. They are confused, angry, forgotten. Suicide, killings, etc. are on the rise. I don't bring up these sorrows to depress you, but to show that when we try to make up our own rules, we fail miserably as a people. 


We have a problem in America with young men "failing to launch" in the 18-24 age category. They live with mom and dad longer than their female counterparts. They don't finish or attend college in the same numbers. Women of the same ages outpace them in earnings. Parents aren't holding their boys up to the same standards as their girls. Boys are let alone to do what they want, presumably, which is why men as old as 34 are addicted to video games. Young men and boys nowadays? They waste too much time. They pursue pleasure above all else.


Men are lost and confused. They're no longer raised to lead and provide for families. If our culture had followed the Word as to how men and women were to behave and live, we wouldn't have the serious problems we do now, as a society. It's tragic.


God knows hearts, male and female. He knows women talk too much and try to take control. He knows men can be lazy in carrying out their God-given duties. In his love for us, he's given us instructions on how to live well. We need to embrace God and reject the world.


We have Adam and Eve to thank for some of our natural bents. When God told Eve, "Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.", he was essentially saying, I have put tension between you, as a punishment for your sin. Your desire will be for your husband translates, "You will want to take control." 


This interpretation--though widely supported among Bible scholars--is not without critics. Some say it merely means women will have a very strong desire to marry and have children. 


As women, I think we can agree here? We have both a strong desire for marriage and children, and a strong desire to get what we want? We want what we want when we want it.

To the woman he said,

“I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;

with pain you will give birth to children.

Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you.”

17To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’

“Cursed is the ground because of you;

through painful toil you will eat of it

all the days of your life.

18It will produce thorns and thistles for you,

and you will eat the plants of the field.

19By the sweat of your brow

you will eat your food

until you return to the ground,

since from it you were taken;

for dust you are

and to dust you will return.” Genesis 3:16-19

He knows. His plan, His Word? They help us live in harmony, without disorder. Do not be offended by what the Bible asks of you, as a woman. For God loves you and values you just as much as he does a man. He has provided for you in the Word. He loves men and women equally. Before the Word, women lived horribly oppressed lives. The Bible elevated women, not the opposite.


To be weak as a woman is to be a feminist. Feminists do not believe in restraining their desire to rule. To be strong as a woman is to be submissive.


We don't need feminism to be equal. God says we are equal. 


Prayer Time: Dear Father, this is huge. Help me with this. Help me to be slow to speak, to ask myself what I can do to be a helpmate to my husband. Help me to convey the respect that is in my heart, for I do so respect and admire my husband. Help me to show it with words and deeds. Help me to persevere in daily devotions, so I can live the Word. Help me to win his heart (whether he's a Christian or not) through my obedience to you.


In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

³ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. ⁴ Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. ⁵ For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, ⁶ like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

As much as I love this passage, I grieve at what our appearances have become. I love the painting at the beginning of this post because this women is a picture of femininity; she loves being a women. In most places I go, Christian women are in jeans and non-feminine shirts. ( In mens' style t-shirts, even.)

I wear jeans, but not because I prefer them. It's more because I have no clothing budget. I've tried for over a year to find skirts at thrift stores, but mostly, I find mini-skirts or highly-dressy rayon skirts that I have no shirts or blouses to match. 

Now my jeans...I try to pair them with a feminine top, so that only half of me is unfeminine. I'm still praying about my wardrobe...for the time and money needed to peruse thrift stores, so I can look and feel more feminine. Studies show that children in school uniforms behave better than children in free-style clothing. I wonder if women in feminine clothes would behave more femininely?

Sorry for this digression, but I don't think this passage means we shouldn't care about our appearance. That we shouldn't try, with our appearance, to distinguish ourselves from men. 

Rather, we shouldn't pay so much attention to it that our money is flying out the window on expensive clothing and accessories, and that too much time and money are spent in getting pedicures, manicures, and hairdos.

More time should be spent on our hearts. On our Bible reading and prayer. On kneeling before the Lord when things are hard. If you have time for a time-consuming hairdo at the salon or at home, or to get your nails done, or to shop for clothes, but you don't have time for devotions, then your heart is in the wrong place.

You can look beautiful on the outside, but if the inside is ugly, you aren't fooling anyone, including your husband and children.

Submitting ourselves to our husband, as Sarah did, is the "adornment" God desires from us.

Prayer Time:  Dear Father, help me to adorn myself with godly character and submission, above all else. Help me to take care of my heart, nourishing it daily, washing it daily, with the Word and with prayer. Help me to guard my tongue as well, so that a gentle and quiet nature emerges. Help me to be an inspiration in this for my daughters, and to help my boys, through my behavior, to understand what to look for in a godly woman.

In your son's name I pray, Amen.

Scripture source

painting source