Multitude Monday: Wherever You Go, He is There

"Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid nor dismayed for the Lord is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

My migraine history has always been harder on my husband than on me. He doesn't understand why the Lord won't heal a busy mother's chronic head pain. I've mostly felt helpless about my husband's frustration with them, not wishing to be the cause of one of his burdens.

But they're getting worse, sometimes lasting 3 to 5 days, and the over-the-counter pain relievers aren't as effective. Despair does come to me at times now; I want to be free of medication and pain.

This morning, four days into a headache, I needed a verse I could clutch tightly to my heart. A verse that would strengthen and give hope. 

The Lord isn't providing physical healing, no. But I feel this: His presence. These life-giving words from Joshua couldn't be more perfect. The Lord is with me wherever I go. Even to the throbbing places. 

I can be strong and of good courage because I am not alone. 

Where do fear and dismay come from? From a lonely, powerless place. 

But we are never powerless or alone. There is always His presence, His Word. 

Powerlessness and loneliness? They are perceptions. Deceptions.

I won't fall. I won't go there.

I will give thanks for my companion, The God of The Universe. There's no greater gift than Him. 

A migraine suddenly seems...insignificant. And come to think of it, the throbbing is a bit less now, too.

Dear Lord, thank you for these gifts:

~ A husband who loves me and cares about my comfort.

~ A husband who prays for me.

~ Rain on the crops yesterday.

~ Paul's commitment to reading the Bible daily. Peter needs more reminders, but Paul is self-driven in this. Praise the Lord!

~ Just when I think I can't minister to Lexi, our troubled neighborhood friend, any longer, God provides rest. For several days she hasn't come. This has happened before when I've felt overwhelmed with her issues. Suddenly, she quit coming. When she showed up again, I was rested and ready to love on her again. God is amazing!

~ No-melt suet on the tree, ready for woodpeckers and nuthatches.

~ Delicious sweet corn from the farm down the street, as always. I don't know how they did it this year with drought conditions, but the corn is superb. The kernels aren't as plump, but the taste is the same.

~ My on-line friendships

~ Husband's incision looks very good. Fully healed; he want back to work today. Both jobs decided to pay him for his time off, just because he's such a good employee. He's very well liked in both places. Since he's part-time in both places, they didn't have to pay him. Thank you, Lord.

~ Yesterday when I was in the throes of migraine, Beth got very fussy. I asked Paul to bake cookies with her to help distract her, and it worked like a charm.  

What are you thankful for today?

Linking with Ann this week.

photo credit

Married...with Disability

wheelchair groom with best man

My husband was across the street telling a neighbor about our bat, when my eight year old tried to hand feed it a fly. And me? Out grocery shopping.

The news that Paul narrowly avoided injury and possibly a round of precautionary rabies shots, angered me. I can't even go to the store, taking for granted my kids are safe? Why wasn't the bat put up high, away from curious hands? Why weren't Paul and the other children told about the inherent dangers? Why were three young children left in the house alone, while husband and Peter briefly talked with a neighbor across the street?

There's a short answer and a long one, a benign one and a not-so-benign one, but neither are my point today.

What I want to write about today is marriage. It can get pretty complicated, yes? While even the best marriages are wrought with complications, some issues bring more hardship than others.

What about marriages in which the husband has a disability? This isn't a marriage topic that typically comes up and that's unfortunate. A fair number of women deal with this reality. Married men can suffer from ADHD, mild brain injury, clinical depression, Bipolar Disorder, split personality disorder, paralysis, an autistic spectrum issue, schizophrenia, chronic fatigue syndrome...the list goes on.

Affected wives can experience anger, isolation, despair, and deep exhaustion from handling so much alone. And yet the Bible doesn't allow for divorce when one spouse is handicapped, however difficult the circumstances.

Men are supposed to be spiritual leaders in the home, but what about those who can barely handle themselves on a daily basis, through no fault of their own?

God is with these families too. No matter how difficult individual days or weeks or years can be, God is with you, behind the scenes, redeeming it all for his glory. He has not forsaken you.

Some things to take to heart:

~ Don't Compare

Though some marriages you encounter seem ideal--or at least far easier than yours--this is rarely true. Few people are transparent about their marriages and some purposely exalt them. Behind the scenes there's always pain--not always in the first several years, but definitely later when children enter the picture. Or if children don't enter the picture (a different kind of searing pain).

As hard as your situation may seem, the cozy scene next door might be worse for you. God knows your talents and gifts. Your marriage is tailored to those in a divine way. It magnifies your good and strengthens your weaknesses. Trust this. Trust God. Don't compare.


~ Be Thankful

Your husband has wonderful qualities. Yes, he does! List them. Get to know them. Celebrate them. Build upon them in your heart. Satan wants you to dwell on the hardship. Refuse to. Refuse to bow to the poison of discontent.

Maybe your husband can't bring home a lot of bacon, but he loves you well and loves his children well.

Maybe he rarely smiles and sleeps too much from depression, but he listens well to your feelings. He validates them, honors them. He cherishes you.

Maybe he has to take medication with awful side affects, like ugly mood swings, but he provides well for you and you're able to give generously to others and save for retirement.

Maybe his mild brain injury leaves people shaking their heads in social situations, embarrassing you, but he makes you laugh and eases all your stress.

Maybe he's in his own little world, isolated from feelings, but he can fix anything and he lives to serve you.

~ Live the gospel 

As much as Satan says you deserve someone better, someone whole, reject this. We can't waste our time on that word deserve. We deserve death with everlasting suffering. And yet God has mercy on us. He gives grace on top of mercy.

Have mercy on your husband. And then give grace--your unwavering respect and devotion. He didn't choose to have a disorder. You two were chosen to live the gospel in a very real way. God believes you can do this, if you remain in Him. Remember that he equips you to do it.

Your situation drives you to a deeper relationship with God. That is huge. It's a gift.

It's not a lonely road, really. Anytime we have a unique situation, it feels lonely, but that's just a perception.

We're never without the God of the Universe. Our Father. Our Redeemer. Our Comforter. Our Rock. Our Answer.

~ Pray through

Lord, help me to love him one more day. Best marriage advice ever. Just this. Pray it every day. Lord, help me to love him one more day.

~ Be humble

Scripture says there's a plank in my eye, in every eye. I'm not so easy for my husband to live with, and either are you for yours. We best remember that.

Marriage is a faith road with eternal rewards. 

Stay in the race. 

Don't compare. 

Be thankful. 

Live the gospel.

Pray through.

Be humble.

Finish strongly and run to your Father's arms on your last day. And hear this: Well done, good and faithful servant.

photo credit

Caveat on a Bible Study Reference I Gave

I recommended a Bible study series on the Armor of God a short while ago. I liked the series, but because you have to read the fine print on Bible sites (especially if you're going to recommend them), I asked my husband to read through the doctrinal statement of the parent site (United Church of God). At first glance I didn't see serious red flags, other than a few unnecessary things about clean meat, Jewish feasts, and the correct day for worship. I didn't care for any of these "extras", listed way at the bottom of their other doctrines, but wasn't willing to throw out a good study because of them. At that point.

Husband, the Bible scholar around here, has some serious reservations about some points of their doctrinal statement (a Rob Bell kind of feel). Also, they don't directly mention the Trinity. He didn't tell me his concerns right away because he didn't know I had already given the Bible study recommendation. While some of their Bible study materials might line up well with Scripture, that may not be true of others.

Reading through any doctrinal statement can be intimidating. They are often very long and quite theological. Sorry I missed important items, and I'm also sorry for including the reference without first waiting for husband to look over the parent site.

A Boy and His Camera

  Notice the shadow of an insect on the underside of this flower.

  A bunny and a squirrel sharing what drops from the bird feeder.

 He's thrilled (we all are) at how many insects are attracted to his zinnias--an idea he gathered from his garden books.

 A rare people picture. Peter and my husband rarely take any people pictures. Nature steals the show. I believe Paul is behind the camera here.

 A cicada, "the first healthy one of the season", says Peter excitedly, shoving it in my face.

Mary lifted the slip n' slide off the porch and found this bat. Yes, a brown bat  On. my. porch.

A hole in its wing, the poor thing can't fly. Husband made ten calls yesterday, trying to find it a home. "Sorry, we don't take bats" they all said, giving him another agency to call.

The bat spent the night in the master bedroom closet, in a container. This was after Paul tried yesterday to hand feed it a fly, without asking Daddy. Oh, the horror. The sweet bat? It did not bite my boy, thank the Lord. But until we get to a state park today and ask a ranger for advice as to letting it go (a bat box in the nature park, maybe?), it stays up in the closet, away from curious hands.

Did I sleep soundly, hearing it nocturnally move the best it could in its injured state? Not exactly. I told husband if it moves too heavily and the container falls to the floor (the lid wasn't fastened as to allow air), we could make a run for it out of the master bedroom, closing the door behind us. Then, safe from rabies, we would come up with a plan about getting our room back. He laughed at me.

 The sweet bat--I call it that because it refused to bite my Paul--with its fangs teeth showing. 

Brandon Klug holds a little brown bat (Myotis lucifugus) captured from an attic in Montana. Little brown bats often inhabit attics of buildings, both used and abandoned, in the summers because the warmth makes it easier to raise young. (Credit: Erin Baerwald, University of Calgary)

According to this article, (the above photo accompanied the article) less than 1 percent of bats actually have rabies. Previously, it was thought that ten percent of bats carry the disease. They are kind of cute, yes? I had no idea they were so little!

Your turn now. What's shown up in your yard lately?

Thankful Thursday (on Fri.)

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God.

I Thessalonians 5.16-18

“Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” -- John Henry Jowett

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.
-- John Milton

Dear Lord, thank you for these gifts:

~ The Growing Story, by Ruth Krauss. Oh, my heart loved it! A little boy notices, along with his mother, all the growing-up changes that happen to the animals and plants and trees, but he wonders, "Why am I not growing, too? This story introduces seasonal, math, and farm concepts, featuring wonderful art work. The heartwarming conclusion, priceless, is sure to make any mother cry, and any child rejoice.

~ The Doorbell Rang, by Pat Hutchins. Pat Hutchins is one of my favorite children's authors and she doesn't disappoint in this fun math book about dividing homemade cookies among friends and family who keep knocking on the door. With each knock, the math changes and children will delight in the problem solving depicted here. Around since 1986, this book has delighted millions. Bake some cookies and enjoy some math with your children!

~ Cool Robots, by Sean Kenney. My boys can't get over how incredible this book is...sure to delight any Lego-loving boy or girl in your home. If you have the small Legos from Lego Creator toys, you'll have enough on hand to build these nifty robots. Fun and fabulous!

~ Singing Father Abraham with my preschoolers (and my big boys). If you've forgotten this classic Christian kids' song with its giggle-inducing motions, view this short teaching video with your children. Even 46-year-old mothers are known to giggle through it and want to repeat it again and again.

~ Falling asleep holding husband's hand.

~ The zinnias, which Peter planted in the garden to attract insects, bring the most beautiful butterflies!

~ A new hummingbird feeder attracting hummingbirds on the second day.

~ Daddy, home recovering from surgery until Monday, spending individual time with each child. He instinctively knows what each child needs.

~ Husband's breaded yellow squash (from the garden)

~ Lots of banana peppers this year.

~ Children chewing sugar-snap peas fresh from the garden.

~ Sisters pretending to be mother and daughter--their favorite game.

~ Sweet, delicious strawberries this year.

~ Miss Beth deciding she loves shepherd's pie. Last winter and spring she wouldn't touch it.

~ A few good rains greening the grass. Local corn isn't fairing well, though. Lord, help the farmers! Give them strength and faith in your divine provision. 

~ Miss Beth smiling at everyone, wherever we go. Three is a flirtatious age. :)

~ The children learning so much from the Book of James (and the adults relearning).  

~ Mary moving right along in beginning reading skills.

~ A second writing program purchase, Writing Strands, which begins a bit simpler than The Institute For Excellence in Writing. Both programs are excellent, but Writing Strands is far cheaper.

~ The church calling to see how my husband is doing.