A Challenge for America

My mind grapples with a few things I've read over the last few days. The first quote came to my inbox:

Sometimes I wonder how you handle all of the problems that go along with not having enough money, having special-needs children, having migraines, etc. 

The second is a few paragraphs I read on Kristen Welsh's blog, We Are That Family. Her regular readers know that Maureen, the young director of Mercy House Kenya, is in America staying with Kristen's family in Texas while both women fulfill a few speaking commitments and work on their ministry together. Kristen writes:

How could I know seeing my life thru her lens would wreck me in a new way?
How do I explain why my country spends more on accessorizing pets in a year, than her entire country earns? She asks innocently without judgement, “Does your country know how we live in Kenya?” I don’t even have an answer. I’m just embarrassed.

Everything about my life is easy. From the laundry piles I whine about to the dinners I prepare, my life of comfort and convenience is the polar opposite to hers and millions of other. I know this. I have been to Kenya three times now and even as I prepare to go again in April, it’s startling to see my life thru her eyes.

It’s one thing to think about your life, comfort and convenience when you’re in the middle of extreme poverty. It’s hard not to. But it’s a whole different ball game when you bring someone from that background into your comfort and convenience.

She tells me more of her childhood story, so much that I can smell the sewage that ran in front of her family’s shack. I am moved with compassion at the suffering she endured. I ache for her family and her world and I long to wipe out the suffering of her people. “Don’t cry, Mom. Look how far God has brought me,” and she begins to name blessings. “Look at all I have,” she exclaims and spreads her arms out.

We are standing in my big, beautiful home and I quietly answer, tears falling now, “Look at all I have.” There is no comparison.

I see and feel and read about contrast all the time, and my mind keeps coming back to this thought: What is blessing, really?

Kristen is the privileged wife of a pharmaceutical rep with three physically- and mentally-healthy children. She pays her bills on time, lives in a big, beautiful, well-constructed house. She can afford well-made appliances and vacations and getaways. She can afford to give generously, and still live well. And God is using her.

Her life has changed considerably since her 2010 Compassion blogger trip to Kenya. She sponsors a lot more children, she gifts all the proceeds from her blog to her Mercy House ministry, and she works for free to organize and ship out Mercy House-made products that help fund their ministry, using a large trailer in her backyard as a warehouse/work place. She's had to endure the stress of running a non-profit agency without prior experience (learning all the tax laws, etc). The stress has been enormous and only God sustains her through it.

After these couple weeks with Maureen, Kristen probably wishes she could give all she has to the poor and live spiritually perfect, giving glory to God through it all.

But that's too hard. It's not in our human nature to live that sacrificially--placing oneself in a position of poverty. Human nature works to get out of poverty, not enter into it.

Maureen knows she's blessed. Americans? Do we know that? Can we know that, truly, while living privileged lives?

The question, what is true blessing, is answered by Kristen's angst right now. She feels more embarrassed than blessed. She feels the weight of inequality, more than the blessing of convenience.

She feels more than ever, I believe, the truth of this verse: Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

In March 2010, after her first Kenyan trip, Kristen wrote this:

So. This week, I got up the nerve and asked God, “Why do you allow poverty, suffering, and injustice when You could do something about it.”

And He asked me the same question.

Kristen has spent nearly three years doing something about it, and she will continue to do more. As she said, "How could I know seeing my life thru her lens would wreck me in a new way?" God will use Kristen's faithfulness, her spiritual insight, to change not only Kenya, but America. As she does, she'll continue to grapple with how much of her personal wealth to give.

A couple C.S. Lewis quotes fit in well here:

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusement, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little.

If our giving does not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say it is too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot because our commitment to giving excludes them.

And a few Bible quotes as well:

1 Timothy 6:9-11 People who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows. But you, Timothy, are a man of God; so run from all these evil things. Pursue righteousness and a godly life…


Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

We all have to grapple with this same question. How much do we give? In America we'll always have to fight hard against the love of money, for money brings convenience, comfort, recognition, power, status, health.

God gave the world enough. There is enough to go around and he's given us the responsibility of distributing it fairly. To whom much is given, much is required. How much can we keep, and still hold money loosely, believing it comes from God, not ourselves? I believe it's our sense of entitlement that causes us to keep too much for ourselves.

Are we entitled to anything, or is everything a gift?

I go back to the question in my inbox:

Sometimes I wonder how you handle all of the problems that go along with not having enough money, having special-needs children, having migraines, etc. 

My answer will resonate much with this person; I have to choose my words carefully. God has given an opportunity in this question, and after reading and contemplating and praying over quotes and verses that have come my way in these last few days, I think I will answer with some version of this:

Are we entitled to anything, or is everything a gift? I have come to believe that everything is gift. Hardship is gift. Health problems are gift. Not enough money is gift. Whatever pulls me away from this world, and brings me closer to God, is gift.

I realize I don't have to fight as hard as Kristen, and that's one of the reasons I admire her. God slowly took away money and convenience from me and added hardship, in order to bring me to a place of thankfulness. He took away my sense of entitlement, little by little. I look at the last five to seven years as a form of discipline. I was a Christian with access to the Bible and to Truth, but I wasn't getting it. I needed a huge nudge, and I'm forever grateful God didn't give up on me, but choose to work with me.

But from Kristen he hasn't taken anything away--except her ignorance about abject poverty--and she still understands. She is still thankful. She holds the things of this world loosely.

This is the commitment Kristen and Maureen have made together, and it's what Kristen challenges us all to do:

I want to live my life with one hand open to receive from God above and the other hand open to give it to others. I want to be a conduit, not holding anything too tightly, ready to open my hands to others, to give to those who can never give back.

 This is our commitment. This one thing will change your life. I dare you to try it.

 “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” -John Bunyan

Read her whole post here.

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Father of Mercies, God of all Comfort

Revelation 21:4and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away

2 Corinthians 1:3-4Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Today, January 24, is the birthday of precious Jonathan, Tesha's baby boy, stillborn one year ago. Late term losses are often discovered during routine exams, in which the parents are told, "I'm sorry, but there's no heartbeat." 

Inductions usually occur at the hospital labor ward, forcing the grieving mother to listen to loud baby monitors advertising healthy heartbeats. First cries and congratulations are also heard. Torture doesn't begin to describe the experience. My worst memories, the ones that bring tears immediately, thirteen years later, come from that hospital experience.

Today, many similar memories will flood Tesha's mind. Please pray for her? 

An Answer for the Overwhelmed Mother

Sometimes the responsibilities of motherhood completely overwhelm me and I feel buried and distressed. Wednesday is perhaps my worst day for this. Beth goes to physical therapy for her arthritic joints every Wednesday, and she has speech twice a month, following her physical therapy session. 

Now, Paul and Mary join in for speech. The speech therapist takes both girls together, and then Paul for just ten minutes. Afterwards I'm given homework to do with all three of them, in addition to exercises to address Beth's diseased joints.

Add to this our regular school and the pressure of trying to get Peter's fine-motor delay improved enough for him to write on college-ruled paper. He's in fifth grade and still needs a 2nd grade writing tablet with wide lines and a dotted line in the middle. Occupational therapy is probably necessary, especially for cursive, but I'm trying to avoid another monthly or bi-monthly appointment at the Children's Hospital.

A disheveled house greets us upon arrival back home. This Momma can't seem to get four children and herself ready to go while also keeping up with five-minute clean-ups. The rush to prepare for church on Sunday mornings leaves our house similarly disheveled, making our return trip bittersweet.

Today, Beth, either overwhelmed or tired or just ornery, crawled under the table during speech therapy and Miss Shelly had to gently threaten to take away her sticker if she didn't finish her words. Beth is sensitive, like so many girls, and this broke her heart--that dear Miss Shelly seemed less than happy with her. Miss Shelly, whom she loves so much and usually wants to please.

Miss Shelly felt bad returning a tearful child to me, but I told her she'd done the right thing, and sensitive or not, Beth definitely requires regular discipline--as much as any 4 year old. Fortunately for me, Beth has a conscience and did finish her work, but she was too brokenhearted to accept a sticker afterwards.

May I just say, girls and boys bear little resemblance to each other when it comes to discipline? Boys, despite their rambunctiousness and incessant wrestling, are easier to discipline. Stubbornness rarely rears its ugly head, unlike with my girls.

I pray so much harder for my girls' sustained commitment to the Lord because their stubbornness frightens me. Will they submit to the Lord without question? Will their hearts remain soft as the Holy Spirit points out their transgressions? Will they display willfulness toward their husbands some day? Am I modeling headstrong behavior around here? Oh, Lord, cleanse me for the sake of my children if this be so.

On every overwhelmed Wednesday, I go to Psalms for help

Jesus did the same. Psalm 22:1-15 is widely thought to be what Christ uttered on the cross in his brokenhearted, suffering state.

My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me? Why art Thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but Thou answerest not; And in the night season, and am not silent. But Thou art holy, O Thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in Thee: They trusted, and Thou didst deliver them. They cried unto thee, and were delivered: They trusted in thee, and were not put to shame. But I am a worm, and no man; A reproach of men, and despised of the people. All they that see me laugh me to scorn: They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, [saying], Commit thyself unto the Lord; Let him deliver him: Let him rescue him, seeing he delighteth in him. But Thou art He that took me out of the womb; Thou didst make me trust [when I was] upon my mother's breasts. I was cast upon Thee from the womb; Thou art my God since my mother bare me. Be not far from me; For trouble is near; For there is none to help. Many bulls have compassed me; Strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. They gape upon me with their mouth, [As] a ravening and a roaring lion. I am poured out like water, And all my bones are out of joint: My heart is like wax; It is melted within me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd; And my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; And Thou hast brought me into the dust of death.

Isaiah 26:3 says: Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

Regular readers see this next assertion often: 

Peace is a person. If we could just remember this, yes? Life will overwhelm. Entering into His presence is the answer every time.

Psalm 100 is considered the gateway to prayer.

1 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. 
2 Serve the Lord with gladness: Come before His presence with singing. 
3 Know ye that the Lord, He is God: It is He that hath made us, and we are His; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise: Give thanks unto Him, and bless His name.
5 For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness [endureth] for ever, And His faithfulness unto all generations.

Yes, this is a perfect beginning to prayer. Know ye that the Lord, He is God. Isn't that why we pray? To remember that the Lord, he is God? That we don't have solutions, but he does? That we are not worthy, but his lovingkindness endureth forever? To remember that we are his people, the sheep of his pasture?

We can't recite this and not feel its truth and power. 

And the reward for going to the Throne of Grace, rather than wallowing in the heaviness of life?

Isaiah 26:3: Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

Oh, Lord, how we love you! How you sustain your sheep so lovingly. Thank you for your Holy Word, your awesome power, your everlasting love. May we enter your courts with praise and give thanks unto thee. May we bless your name!

Thank you, Heavenly Father....

~ for hot chocolate to warm my hands in this bitterly cold, below-zero wind chill.

~ for my husband's arms and understanding eyes.

~ for faith that though food prices rise before my eyes, you will provide.

~ for the help of Miss Shelly.

~ for Psalm 100, and Psalm 22, and Isaiah 26:3.

~ for the power of your Word to break down stress and restore peace.

~ for this study, which helped me find the gateway to prayer.

~ for children who do twenty-minute pick-ups on Wednesday afternoons.

A prayer request? L's mother--age about mid-thirties--fought with her father on Sunday, apparently over L's mother wanting to go on a trip with her no-good boyfriend. L ran over here to get away from it, and an hour later two police cars arrived at the grandparent's home. I don't know who called them, but perhaps the grandmother or L's mother. Shortly after, L was picked up here by her mother, in the boyfriend's car. There did not appear to be any arrests, but I don't know. We haven't seen L since and tonight is AWANA. Her mother doesn't own a car so it's up to the boyfriend to either bring L to our house on Wednesday evenings, or to the AWANA church itself, so she can continue to attend. We don't know if they will move in with the boyfriend again for good, or reconcile with L's grandparents (her mother's parents). Please pray that we'll be able to continue to disciple L? Thank you!

Purposeful Mothering Lessons

Jamie Martin, of Steady Mom and Simple Homeschool, wrote an insightful article about Marmee from Little Women.  Marmee, you probably remember now, is mom to Meg, Beth, Amy, and Jo, the March sisters.

Jamie Martin fondly remembers her childhood impressions of the March sisters, but rereading the book now, as a 36-year-old, 21st-century mother, she was most inspired and impressed by Marmee.

I loved the article.

Jamie explains 3 ways Marmee inspires:

1. Nuture by nature, seeing each child as an individual.

 2. Allow the gift of childhood, avoiding overscheduling.

3. Model the qualities we hope to cultivate.

The following is an excerpt from Jamie's article. I encourage you to go here to read her whole lovely piece

Begin Martin Excerpt:

Even as teenagers Marmee encouraged their play. There was no shuffling them out to lessons multiple times a week, no hyperscheduling involved.

How can we translate this into our modern lives? We apply it to the boundaries we develop–around screen time, extracurriculars, and our general pace as a family.

“I am angry nearly every day of my life, Jo; but I have learned not to show it; and I still hope to learn not to feel it, though it may take me another forty years to do so.”

Marmee refrained from too much lecturing. She chose her words and her timing well, and she modeled how she wanted her girls to live. Though their own family struggled financially, Marmee served her community and provided opportunities for her daughters to do the same.

She shared her flaws–confiding in impetuous Jo about her own flares of temper that she’d learned to control through discipline, help from her husband, and prayer.

To encourage their love for and study of Scripture, Marmee inspired her girls with the gift of a beautiful Bible on their pillows Christmas morning. Love, not fear, made her daughters want to follow in their mother’s footsteps.

The March household centered around the relationships within it, tight-knit bonds woven by a woman constantly checking the pulse of the atmosphere within her home. She began this culture when they were little, and her girls enjoyed it enough to keep it as they got older.

Marmee reaped exactly what she sowed, and so will we.

The question we need to ask ourselves is this: Are we planting and nurturing the seeds that will lead to the harvest we hope for?

“Touched to the heart, Mrs. March could only stretch out her arms, as if to gather children and grandchildren to herself, and say, with face and voice full of motherly love, gratitude, and humility, – ‘O, my girls, however long you may live, I never can wish you a greater happiness than this!’”

End Martin excerpt


Around here we spend a lot of time at home. The longer I parent, the more I realize the blessedness of home. Nothing is more important than cultivating relationships within our walls, and with the Lord. 

The confines of home are a gift, not a hindrance. A safe haven, not a prison. A place to become selfless, not self-indulgent. Even for the adventurer and the dreamer, the home can be a haven; boredom is a precursor to creativity.

The nuclear family fits together like pieces of a puzzle...a puzzle designed by God. We polish and sharpen each others' hearts for Him, in stunningly relevant ways.

When we run to multiple optional activities, trying to "please" all our children in the same season, we weaken the family dynamics. The more we're away from each other, the less our nuclear family strengthens us. We can't possibly fill our family members' love cups, and hold them accountable, for just a few hours a day.

It's important to relish home when we can. A time may come (dare I say will come?), such as a crises, that finds us running to the hospital often and breaking up the family frequently. It will be a stretch but our previous praying together, worshiping together, and knitting ourselves together at home will carry us through till life slows once again.

Each day has enough trouble of its own, yes? Let's relish each other at home, bonding, blessing, bracing each other for life.

When it's time for our little birds to fly away, their fondest memories will be of home. I doubt their soccer friends or their chess-club buddies, or the leotard-clad girls from gymnastics, will rank up there at all. We can make new experiences our goal, or homespun loveliness our goal, but not both.

The buddies we encounter here and there are more an avenue to shine His Light, than an avenue for entertainment or enrichment.

Like Jamie, I think this quote is a worthy ending to the sentiment of home:

“Touched to the heart, Mrs. March could only stretch out her arms, as if to gather children and grandchildren to herself, and say, with face and voice full of motherly love, gratitude, and humility, – ‘O, my girls, however long you may live, I never can wish you a greater happiness than this!’”

Something tells me our little birds are more likely to come back often, if home was the centerpiece of their growing-up years?

Forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive - Colossians 3:13

And you shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. - Deuteronomy 11:19

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. - Exodus 20:12

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. - Romans 12:10

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - Colossians 3:13

Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. - Proverbs 4:1

My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. - Proverbs 6:20

A wise child accepts a parent's discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction. - Proverbs 13:1

Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. - Romans 14:19

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. - Thessalonians 5:11

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching. - Hebrews 10:24-25

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. - Proverbs 31: 15-17

verses here, image here

Multitude Monday: Claiming Christ

My Mary, a kindergartner, gained ground these last few weeks in reading fluency. In her mind life will really change into something glorious, "when she's bigger and can read."

I explained, "Why, Honey, you're already reading."

But this tedious sounding out, this dragging on of the text? It doesn't feel like reading to her. Reading is what Mommy does with a picture book or a chapter book. It's what the boys do in their easy chairs for a few hours a day, silently.

Reading is effortless. That's the view from her perspective.

So imagine her surprise when a sentence rolled off her tongue this week, fluently, for once. The words seemed familiar and the sounds mingled without effort.

She turned that determined head toward me, smiling hesitantly as though asking, "Um...what just happened there?"

It's like that with faith, too.

Our neighborhood friend L, whom I've written about since last spring, walked into our lives one balmy April day. She rode by on her bike, staring at my girls in the yard. Mary waved at her and L turned around and rode right into the driveway, introducing herself.

A few minutes later she came to the door, seeing me there, and invited herself right in, asking for a pretzel rod, and then another and another. Right away she reminded me of Pippi Longstocking. Despite myself, I fell in love with her strangely hilarious ways.

These months flew by. I admit there were times I rolled my eyes when she'd saunter into the yard. Her presence doesn't come without stress and at times I wanted to take that scripture, "Go and make disciples" and shove it.

But God is faithful and He didn't let me shove it. Now, even though her life is still in shambles, with police still coming to break up domestic violence, L's soul is awake. The Holy Spirit is there, inside her heart.

Like that fluent sentence Mary read this week, it's miraculous.

In Romans 10:17, Paul says, ‘Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ’ 

Reflecting on these many months with L--the drives to AWANA, the pretzel rods that disappeared, the whopper lies she tortured us with, the love that grew in my heart, the turmoil she survived--I'm reminded that the miraculous doesn't come without effort, just like that first fluent sentence didn't come without practice. 

Hours of it. 

We had to share the Word with L and put ourselves out there. We couldn't just sit back and expect her to notice something different about our family, and eventually ask about Jesus. 

As much as we'd like it to be that easy, it's not. We have to risk something. We have to claim Jesus.

Have you noticed that most people don't mind the word God, but Jesus incites riots in the heart? To claim Jesus comes with a price. We claimed Him when we passed Jesus Storybook Bibles around the neighborhood, and some don't come to our Children's Bible Study. A couple washed their hands of us, at least for now.

Only a remnant will believe and every soul matters to God. "Go and make disciples" is uncomfortable. It's isolating, even.

Why does any Christian do it? It isn't a requirement to get to heaven, after all.

We do it to give thanks to God. Having been filled up so graciously, to overflowing, we have something to give. 

Claiming Christ is an obedience and an act of thanksgiving, both. When God's grace floods a heart and the change radiates lovely, it feels miraculous. So go, hand out pretzel rods. Listen to those whoppers. In the end the little things we do, though brave, pale against the all-powerful, transforming work of Grace that is God's alone.

It's a mystery why we must go and make disciples when it's His grace that saves. Sometimes claiming Christ seems futile and too costly. But when the seed takes root and the fruit appears in spring, the glory of God floods the whole picture. I don't understand any of it and why one receives His grace and another walks away, remains a mystery.

Don't wait to understand it, just share in it.

Giving thanks today:

~ a husband who shares in it with me.

~ providing a safe haven for L during a fight at home, between her mother and grandfather. The grandparents have their hands full dealing with the on-going irresponsibility of their adult daughter, L's mother. Their choices are grim. Either kick their daughter out and stop enabling her dysfunction, and hope she leaves the children behind, or continue to deal with her so they can also provide a safe home for her children. They all need Christ and hopefully L's faith will break bonds of hate and dysfunction  Mental illness is there in the mix, but Christ is bigger than that; He has overcome that. Thank you for praying for L and her family!

~ my Lord to cling to and Scripture to wash me clean.

~ the furnace working well again. Another mystery of grace.

~ pumpkin pie on a bitterly cold, windy day.

~ dedicated authors who live humbly and work for next to nothing, writing transforming tales for my children and me to devour.

~ children who sleep in till 8:30 AM, most days.

~ the curriculum that comes with the Jesus Storybook Bible. I'm a hard sell when it comes to any curriculum, but this is awesome to use.

~ two precious girls to counter the testosterone around here.

~ this picture of Amy's new baby. (Amy from Raising Arrows)