hodgepodge

Blog Design
If you have a small monitor, you won't be able to see the new border design on this page.  We have one small screen and one large screen, and the brown definitely overwhelms on the small screen; there's not much else in the frame.  You won't have to put up with this design for long though.  I can't decorate my own house, so I'll use this space to exercise that womanly part of me.  The part that wants to make a house a home a screen a whimsical escape.

Teenage Pregnancy
My husband's classmate relayed that the young girl will be keeping her baby.  She decided this before we delivered any letter.  I'm not sure about God's purpose in having me get involved emotionally.  Just to pray for her?  Or maybe the emotional involvement was my doing only?  Maybe the Lord wanted me to love my husband even more?  I certainly did fall in love with hubby all over again over this matter--his tender heart touched me.

At any rate, we'll keep praying for baby and both sides of the family.

Whole Food Endeavor
We still pursue a switch to whole foods.  My efforts to purge everything with food dye from our cupboards recently included the children's beloved Country Time Lemonade.  A huge undertaking; my children aren't fond of water and I'm not fond of juice.  Juice--even real juice--is mostly empty calories and lots of sugar.  Nutritionists don't agree that it equals a half serving of fruit.  Unfortunately, some kids drink their calories and suffer nutritionally.  Country Time has far fewer calories and less sugar, but it has yellow food dye.

With the lemonade out, they stopped drinking liquid and began asking for a lot of milk.  My resolve weakened, people.  Pediatricians tell you to give them water--if they're thirsty, they'll drink.  You know the mantra.  Well, they didn't.  And their urine got darker, and a serious inner battle plagued me.  I bought a bag of lemons to flavor water for them, like restaurants serve it, but no success there.

Next, I bought kid-sized water bottles, in desperation (yeah I know, water bottles aren't a "green" purchase).  But they worked!  They now drink water from their cute little water bottles!   The price of the bottles about equals the lemonade cost, but eventually we'll get a water filter to offset that.  If I can keep the baby from choking on tossed aside water-bottle lids, I'll declare this hydrating experiment a victory.

Now, if I can only get hubby to give up the Mountain Dew.  We don't drink tea or coffee, so I guess he needs it for the caffeine.  I drink only water and sip cocoa on less-busy winter evenings.   Coffee or tea would be healthier for him, but he doesn't care for either and it's hard to get him to drink water, which he needs to offset the caffeine in the soda.  The blood work from his last physical indicated slight dehydration.  Makes me wonder if caffeine skews natural thirst, as well as dehydrates a person?

Highchair Dilemma
For many months Beth had the annoying habit of standing in her highchair within a few minutes of being served (unless Italian food topped the menu).  She hearts Italian, like her Momma.  Boy, I miss the Olive Garden! My sister gave us a gift card, but we have no babysitter right now!

Anyhow, by the time I help serve all the children, and finally attempt a bite of my own food, Beth is done eating and repeatedly standing.  Various scenarios played out over these last months, but each one ended in the same frustration--I couldn't eat hot food.

Older sister Mary behaved similarly at this age, and recently it dawned on me how we solved that problem.  A  booster seat with safety belt (straps to the dining-room chair)!  I guess I was too sleep deprived to remember this earlier.  Boosters with straps make for a tighter fit and keep baby in place for the entire meal.  Walmart had one for ten dollars and I eagerly brought it home and laced the straps.  We set her in it, and BINGO!  VICTORY!

Momma can eat hot food, and maybe even finish her food once in a while!

I can also strap her in while I shuffle the laundry!  I'm just so tickled at this victory over everyday frustrations around here.  She stays safe, and now she can practice "drawing"  with crayons while I fold clothes.  So far she's just trying to eat them, but we'll get there.

She loves the new big-girl seat!

Momma is full of smiles.

Mealtime is a pleasure, once again.

Okay....maybe not a pleasure, per se.  Manners still haven't found my boys.

But we've certainly made a dent in restoring sanity.

used homeschool curriculum

Looking for used homeschool curriculum?  This site proved invaluable to me last year.  I got a complete set of 2nd grade curriculum for a fraction of the retail price.  Everything sent to me was in excellent condition.

When you get into the site, click on Homeschool Swap Boards.

There are lots of ads for Sonlight, Bob Jones, ABeka, My Father's World, and many others.  There are also many listings for misc. items.  Well worth visiting.

If you are interested in something, click on the name of the person selling the items.  That takes you to an e-mail page, and then you list what you're interested in.  Most prices include shipping.

Happy shopping!

frosting

Girls.  So precious.  Sugar and spice and everything nice.  Sensitive, sweet, giving.

Now the boys.  Fun-loving, demanding, overly-active, competitive.  Oh...they're tender about loving their Momma.  I'll give them that.  But I'd only occasionally describe them as sweet, in the same way the girls are sweet.

Now about that last piece of chocolate cake.

Momma applied lipstick in the bathroom.  Daddy worked on the living-room computer.

Mary climbed onto the kitchen cupboard, highly motivated by the tupperware housing a lone piece of chocolate cake.

It's a tough lid, but she conquered it.

From the bathroom, Momma hears Daddy groaning in his worst, these-kids-are-driving-me-crazy kind of way.  Momma scurries out of the bathroom, almost running into Baby Beth and Daddy.

Beth's face is covered--and I do mean covered--in chocolate frosting.  Flustered, Daddy rushes her into the bathroom.

In a most helpful kind of way, Momma bursts out laughing.

 "Was it tasty, Beth?",  Momma asks with a grin.

Beth smiles her answer, undaunted by Daddy's child-rearing angst.

Not easily amused by baby and preschooler antics,  Daddy says,  "Mary decided to get into the chocolate cake and share it with her sister!  It's on the carpet....on the floor...all over their clothes!"

Yes, it was a mess.  And Mary didn't ask permission

But mostly, Momma was struck by the sweetness of the scene, in her mind's eye.  Two little sisters on the floor of the kitchen, sharing a piece of chocolaty goodness.  Not meaning any harm.

Momma tells Mary how nice it was of her to share the last piece of cake with her sister.

"Yeah.  I love her so much, Mommy."

The boys were at the table doing school, and they too, were amused.

Momma teases them.  "I don't think you boys would have shared a lone piece of cake with each other.  Am I right?"

Peter said  "You're right!"

Paul laughed his agreement.

Daddy came around.  Kissed Momma and smiled, the laughter luring him in.

Tomorrow's memories.

Today's blessing.

not alone...never alone

At least once a day I have a sudden thought about someone I know, or about a current event, such as the situation in Haiti.  Sometimes it will regard a known issue, such as a friend's job hunt.  Other times it will merely be the person's name.  I pray in response, even if it's only a sentence-long prayer.

Afterward, I think to myself, "That was a really sudden thought.  I wonder if God himself prompted me to pray?"

Rarely is there ever confirmation that, yes, it was God.

Today such confirmation came.

First, a little lead up as to how the day went in general.

The baby has been working on four first-year molars for what seems like weeks.  Mostly, she's been a brave, happy soul, although not the best sleeper.

Today was different.  She whined plenty.  I would try holding her, only to find she didn't want to be touched. I offered her cold water or a teether, which she threw down in defiance.  I tried a gratuitous nursing, only to wince at her annoyed bite ( the suction involved in nursing can aggravate the pain).

It was a long, stressful day.  There wasn't much time to think.

When Beth nursed at naptime, I lay there on the bed with her, exhausted and grateful for a breather. When tired, she always nurses.  My unsaved parents generally come to mind as soon as the two of us get settled, and I pray for them and for my siblings (also unsaved).

Today, right after praying for my family, a blogger friend's name popped into my head, with the thought:  Here is a person having a harder day than me.

My friend is working as a social worker in a new job, much needed by her family.  Her husband lost his job two years ago.  Now in his fifties, he decided to go back to college in response to the depressed job market.  It has been a long, painful road for them, but God has been faithful.  She is a talented writer who loves the craft and would like nothing more than to write for a living, as well as for pleasure and for the glory of God. Her landing a job seemed like a miracle, but a bittersweet one.  Social work is terribly exhausting, leaving her few creative hours in the evenings.  So when her name popped into my head, I knew it had to do with her very difficult job, and her dreams, which some days seem long lost.  I prayed.

Then, after the kids were in bed tonight and I had time to check some blogs, I found her post.  Please read it.  It will encourage you today, and remind you that God never asks us to do anything alone.  I am so blessed right now.

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  Psalm 23  (Scripture from biblegateway.com, click on blue)

  A psalm of David.

   ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
         he leads me beside quiet waters,
   ³ he restores my soul.
         He guides me in paths of righteousness
         for his name's sake.
   ⁴ Even though I walk
         through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
         I will fear no evil,
         for you are with me;
         your rod and your staff,
         they comfort me.
   ⁵ You prepare a table before me
         in the presence of my enemies.
         You anoint my head with oil;
         my cup overflows.
   ⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
         all the days of my life,
         and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
         forever.

humbling

Delight in your children.  That is the answer, for the Christian parent.

I read a post the other day exhorting me in this matter.

I love my children with an indescribable depth.  It's so deep it hurts.

And yet.

Tonight, I flew solo.  Daddy left for work at 4:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m., which is a huge difference in terms of my sanity.  It's not bad when we know ahead of time; we plan for it--completing showers and baths early and prepping the main dish early, leaving me with minimal cooking followed by teethbrushing, storytime and prayer.

This being a last minute change, we did nothing ahead of time.  In addition, I left for a hair perm appt. late morning, which kept me away three hours.  I arrived home to find messy rooms, a cluttered dining-room table, and a dish-and-crumb-cluttered kitchen.  The laundry had gone no where, and the boys hadn't done their reading.  My nerves rattled within ten minutes of accessing the situation.

It never pays to leave the house, people.  The more kids you have, the more you need stay home.  This isn't a negative, necessarily.

What's more, all the children missed me and wanted my attention--especially the girls.  I'm rarely ever gone more than ninety minutes (grocery runs), so three hours felt like an eternity to all of us.  I missed them as well.

But because the afternoon and evening turned into a herculean challenge, I failed to delight in them.  The baby and three year old were both whiny, which always sends me into fits of guilt and stress.  Baby cries are a sound I find intolerable, possibly because I'm a nursing mom.  Baby cries, offer the breast.  It's a knee-jerk reaction, but when they get older and desire the breast less, you have to find new tricks.  And when you're cooking, it's nearly impossible to entertain an active baby.  Go ahead and run your fingernails across a chalkboard.  That's how it feels to me to hear a baby crying, and be powerless to act immediately.

My eight year old wanted to help with the Italian-sausage spaghetti sauce and pasta shells.  While I did let him, I was only pleasant in spurts.  His chatty presence made me more nervous, as it blended with the whiny sounds coming from the playroom, where I had gated up the girls.  I've tried many times to cook with them on the loose, but keeping them out of trouble while attending to meal prep consistently ends in futility, without Daddy around to run interference.  The boys try to keep their sisters entertained, but their help isn't what you'd call mature help.  Just yet.

My intense frustration is this.  There's nothing I want more than to succeed at loving my children.  I try hard.  Much energy is expended in looking for solutions and answers to the various challenges.  I want them to grow up, look back, and feel that I delighted in them and pointed them to Jesus.   That's all I want from this life.  That one thing.  Everything else would be a bonus.

I really agree that delighting in them is the key.

Then why, oh why, do I find it so hard sometimes?  Why do I get so nervous so easily?  What a horrible trait!

I read this post after they all went to bed.  It's a message I hear from God on a regular basis.  Essentially, it's this:

You don't have to try.  I already did the work.  Stop your treadmill-style effort, and delight in ME!  I am your answer.

In the last year, I've come to realize that my insane trying is actually sin.  Working out my salvation is sin.  What's behind it, really?

Dare I say it?  I'm ashamed--but here goes.

I think we try so hard because we want the credit.  We don't really want the glory to go to God.

But as Sandi said in her beautiful post, it isn't supposed to be about us.  It must be about him, and his glory, always.

My weakness isn't about me and where I fall short.

It's about Him and all His glory.

His surpassing great power is shown through my inability to do it on my own.

I need Him on every level and that is good for me and pleasing to Him.

Why do I fight it so? This stubborn nature of mine, thinking I need to have it together. It is the lie of this age...To do it all, well, and all the time.

Our limits are our friends not the enemy.

They escort us to the One who has no lack.

above excerpt from: A Mother's Musings (Morning Meditation)

Tomorrow morning during devotions, I will explain the futility of our efforts to the boys.  It's not enough to just apologize to them for snappy behavior.  They need to know why I continue to struggle with nervousness and impatience, and why they continue to struggle with their own faults.  They might not comprehend all of it, but I can gauge where they're at in their understanding of grace, by starting the conversation.