Reflection Time: 364 Days

A new year is more than just another holiday--it's a new beginning too, a fresh start, even for those resistant to self-reflection. Can you really put 365 days behind you without some meditation on the trials and triumphs experienced?

What purpose did God have for them, we have to wonder? Did I drift farther away from Him, or grow closer?

Sometimes it's so messy, complicated, hard.

We put it off and convince ourselves it's just cliche anyway.

I don't want to, but I think the Holy Spirit is forcing me.

I lost my voice a year ago. Nothing seemed appropriate to say here; I knew what ailed me, but I was ashamed to admit it.

Discouragement had taken root and I couldn't put one foot in front of the other anymore to rid my heart of it. I still did devotions with my family, and still read my Bible, but I didn't work on my discouragement through writing, which is what always worked for me. Writing is a hard process whereby I would only start with an idea and the Holy Spirit would then take over, and by the end, I felt lighter, more at peace with the Lord and with my walk and with my circumstances.

Unsaved family can't be a support because they can't understand my choices or circumstances, and my husband already has enough on his plate with a 55-hour workweek and the mental disorders our kids face. Any personal discouragement was always something I had to deal with on my own with the Lord alone--and anonymously, I suppose, with anyone reading here (but really, the words were for the Lord).

Part of the reason, too, that I stopped writing was this: I felt like I'd written the same types of things over and over and how many times could I keep repeating them ad nauseum?

My answer today is: As many times as my heart needs them!

I commune with the Holy Spirit much more efficiently through writing than through prayer. This year confirmed that. Writing is my authentic personal prayer, I suppose, minus the supplications.

Remember that prayer is the Holy Spirit communing with our spirit? It's not just us telling God what we want. The Holy Spirit does much of the work involved--although we think all the work comes from us.

Have you ever noticed that the hardest part of prayer is starting the first word?

After that He is sitting right there with us, happy we chose to spend the time (or that is what I imagine). Each word after the first flows better and better.

The chromebook died in March and that made it more difficult to even think about writing. The PC is used for four children to complete math and spelling, and the two boys to complete Spanish and writing. Soon, though, we get another one and I can write at night again. For now, I can write on the weekends.

Isaiah 40:30
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Happy New Year! May you grow ever closer to Him, reflecting this weekend on what might be standing in your way in 2018.

A Stray Dog and a Prayer

They begged and pleaded, and we said no and no and no. We can't afford a dog right now. We can't afford a dog right now. We can't afford a dog right now.

You get the picture, yes? How this sounded week after week, as soon as they had opportunity to pet a dog somewhere? Or see a dog movie?

Finally, I changed my answer to their pleading, as I often do when they plead for something that costs money: Whatever you think you need, pray about it. If God agrees, he will provide it in time.

About 18 months ago, we adopted a dog who kept snapping at the kids, though not actually biting them. We gave it three months, before giving him back to the rescue operation, when a particular snapping scared us pretty badly.

The kids and I mourned the loss of the dog, but we knew rescue dogs often have serious issues. We couldn't afford a professional trainer, or risk a bite either, for that matter. We waited for God to drop a suitable dog in our laps, along with the funds for purchase. It was just too distracting for Peter to peruse dog sites constantly (obsessively). Many of the rescue fees were $200 per dog.

Fast forward about 12 months.

One of the neighbor kids found the little guy pictured above--a German Shepherd mix we presume--roaming the neighborhood. She kept it at her house, and posted lost dog ads on three different websites. She's had the dog a week, and she daily brought him over here for outdoor playtime in our fenced yard. My kids became attached to the dog's puppy-like energy and fetching antics, not to mention his loving ways. He marks his territory already, which I think occurs in male dogs six months and over, especially if they haven't been neutered (he hasn't been).

About this same time we learned that the neighbor girl's family is losing their house at the end of the month, and they still hadn't found a home for the dog. They already have one dog, and this new one doesn't take well to other dogs, though he doesn't seem to guard his resources (food or water or toys).

I thought of all the reasons keeping the dog here was a bad idea, especially since I didn't know how long he had been a stray or what issues he might have--though he seemed like a great, fun-loving, energetic dog, perfectly matching my children's energy levels. As well, German Shepherds make good therapy dogs. I watched closely out the window each day and noticed that the dog seemed to keep Peter's OCD at bay temporarily.

Finally, with everything considered, God spoke to my heart and He changed my no to a maybe...we might be able to see how it goes, if Daddy agrees. The Lord reminded me of the kids' sincere dog prayers. We had to assume that if God provided a free dog, he would also provide for his food and other bills.

We're still in the first 24 hours of possession, but we can all tell the dog--who appears to be between six months and a year old--has been housetrained and at least knows something of a dog crate, although the neighbor girl let him sleep on her bed, which spoiled him. Our pediatrician has long said "no pets in the bedrooms" because of allergies, so bedroom sleeping is not an option for us.

We're rusty with crate usage and forgot to lock its side door when we went to the dentist yesterday, and he got out of it, without damaging the house, thank goodness. And last night he whined in it for 45 minutes, before falling asleep (from midnight to 6:30, when my husband went to the kitchen). We're hoping for more sleep tonight. I believe he's old enough to sleep eight hours, once he acclimates here.

We plan to take him to a vet who does free microchip checks, to try to find an owner, before claiming him as ours. Taking him for frequent walks should also help us find an owner, if he lived in this neighborhood.

The neighbor girl was undisciplined with him and allowed mouthing during play, which we will have to train out of him if we want to keep him. It's mild, however. I told the kids not to do tug-of-war games that encourage mouthing.

We'll keep you posted. Needless to say, I've got some happy, grateful kids right now.

Do you have a dog? How did the crate training go at night, after the initial potty training? I've read three or four articles on it, but I still feel less than confident in it. That whining was hard to take last night, but I stood firm, knowing to give in was the worst thing I could do, and not having the luxury of time to acclimate him slowly. I couldn't let a stray dog have the run of the house or even the kitchen, nor did we have enough barricade items, since he jumps. He seemed like he had at least seen a crate before as he went in readily, but not sleeping in one ever, or at least for a time, was a problem.

We don't care for the name Pedro, which is what the neighbor girl gave him, but for training purposes we will keep it for now, and maybe even get used to it.

How to Avoid a Josh Duggar Heart

Like my fellow believers, I've been sickened by the news of Josh Duggar's cheating ways, as well as by the commenters claiming that Christians are like everyone else, or even sicker. "If there was a God, they assert, he would change hearts. What evidence is there that Christians have better hearts? None."

Oh, my. This is certainly a compelling argument against religion, with pastors and parishioners falling left and right. We're even sicker, people assume, because we hide our sins deeper down, hoping to stay in the good graces of our fellow Bible-thumpers...or something like that.

My first thoughts were: How does a true Christian participate in ongoing sin--having these awful Ashley Madison accounts, for example, for two years? How do you eat at the family table, take care of your children, go about your family life, while living a lie? How are you not utterly miserable while doing this? How do you not worry about your wife's sexual health, which you are putting into jeopardy with your insane selfish acts--as well as the health of any unborn babies? How do you not worry about your children, who will be ashamed of their last name and their Daddy? How do you live with yourself everyday? How do you not break down and confess early on?

I still don't know the answer, and of course it's not my place to judge another's salvation. My purpose today is in offering wisdom as to how the rest of us can avoid ongoing sin.

I can witness to you about what happens within me when I pray before my family, confessing my sins. My friends, it is humbling, cleansing. It's as though you're using a toothbrush to get at the deepest grime between the tiles. Don't get too busy to pray humbly before your family, who love you and can help heal you.

It's possible to participate in corporate or private prayer without the confessing part, but this is not God's design. It's so easy to avoid examining our own hearts--especially when we're busy analyzing others' heart--but our heart's purity demands this examining step, daily.

If you said something unkind to your husband, for example, it will come up as you examine your heart during prayer time. The Holy Spirit will make sure it comes up. And your heart, as you confess and ask for forgiveness, will be softened against your husband, helping you avoid another unkind remark or heart stance.

If we don't keep up with a daily cleansing of the heart, we begin to feel like we have a right to our sinful feelings, attitudes, or behaviors. Our hearts harden and life becomes about us, not about loving God and our fellow man.

The Holy Spirit keeps us pure, but it's our job to turn to Him, boldly looking him squarely in the eyes, asking: search my heart and cleanse me.

I will go through The Lord's Prayer below, explaining how we are to model our prayers, but first, let us read about David's contrite heart after sinning against God.

I've always thought this a beautiful prayer, and I see it as God making beauty from ashes out of David's sin--in producing a heart model for us to follow after we have sinned. This Psalm is David's prayer after committing adultery with Bathsheba.

Psalm 51: A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

blot out my transgressions.

2Wash away all my iniquity

and cleanse me from my sin.

3For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

4Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight;

so you are right in your verdict

and justified when you judge.

5Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;

you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

7Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9Hide your face from my sins

and blot out all my iniquity.

10Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

so that sinners will turn back to you.

14Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,

you who are God my Savior,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15Open my lips, Lord,

and my mouth will declare your praise.

16You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17My sacrifice, O God, is^b a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart

you, God, will not despise.

18May it please you to prosper Zion,

to build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous,

in burnt offerings offered whole;

then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Commonly known as the Lord's Prayer, but better termed The Disciple's Prayer, this is the model Jesus gave for how to pray. 

Matthew 6:9-13

9 “This, then, is how you should pray:


“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.

It starts, Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. When we go before our heavenly Father in prayer, we should begin with praising His holy name.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Next, we should pray that the Lord will come back soon, and that more people will come to Christ beforehand, including our family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances. God puts people in our path to pray for and influence, and we should remember them all at this time. The Lord desires that none shall perish.

Next, we should pray that we, and others, will live according to God's will, not our own--that God will work this into our hearts. 

Give us today our daily bread. We have nothing and deserve nothing outside of God's grace and will, and everything on the earth is the Lord's. We humbly acknowledge that we are utterly dependent on God; we ask him to provide everything we need to live on a daily basis: physical nourishment, shelter, clothing, spiritual strength, grace. We also pray for other's daily needs and petitions here.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. We pause a moment in prayer and let the Holy Spirit reveal our sins to us, so that we can name them and ask for forgiveness. We then ask that our hearts will be softened toward those who have offended us, so we can thoroughly forgive them.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. These two clauses belong together, and according to John Calvin's commentary, their meaning is thus:

“We are conscious Of our own weakness, and desire to enjoy the protection of God, that we may remain impregnable against all the assaults of Satan.” We showed from the former petition, that no man can be reckoned a Christian, who does not acknowledge himself to be a sinner; and in the same manner, we conclude from this petition, that we have no strength for living a holy life, except so far as we obtain it from God. Whoever implores the assistance of God to overcome temptations, acknowledges that, unless God deliver him, he will be constantly falling.

The Lord will make beauty from ashes out of Josh Duggar's sins, just like he did with King David's, though we may never see it. Josh's fall is a reminder to us all that, outside of prayer with confession, we will go likewise.

Daily life is so very busy, especially with young children around, but prayer need not take a long time, as we see from this model. There will be seasons of life when it can be luxuriously long, when children are gone and the house is still and quiet, perhaps. But in the meantime, we open ourselves up to sin and pain and shame, if we ever claim we are too busy to pray. Even five minutes with a spouse is significant and holy.

How does your family do prayer?

Organized Prayer

Developing a prayer life is so hard. After we come to know the Lord, by whom are we taught to pray? Hopefully by our parents, but that isn't the reality for many of us. More often in churches and in Christian circles, it's just assumed that we all do this, and we all know how.

It's not unusual, though, for even a seasoned Christian to fail in this area. There are starts, stops, excuses, and finally, giving up for a while.

The good news is that the more we pray, the more we want to pray. Whatever your previous prayer history, start now with a concrete goal, but not too lofty the first week, lest you get discouraged. True change comes after we plan for it. So decide on a goal, or start with this one below, and then add days or minutes to it after one successful week.

First Goal: 20 minutes, 3 times this week

Jump in, get started, and pray for God to light a fire in your heart for prayer.

  

The Holy Spirit will speak to you about what to pray, but a simple structure to help you get started is the ACTS acronym.

A = Adoration (start by praising God)

C = Confession of sins

T = Thanking God

S = Supplication (prayer requests)

There will always be urgent prayer requests to cover each day, and in addition to those, here are more supplication ideas, organized by day. You can cover all these in one day, or once a week, depending on how long your prayer time is.

I think mothers of young children have the most difficulty setting aside devotional time every day, but with God's help, it can be done.

Monday - Your Children (Future & Present Issues)

~ their Christian walks

~ their future marriages

~ their physical health

~ their future spouses and in-laws

~ your future grandchildren

~ humility for all

~ strong relationships with you

~ your daily discipleship efforts

~ any heart issues that stand out

~ their schools and teachers and peers, if applicable

 Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work. -- Oswald Chambers

Tuesday - Your Marriage

~ communication skills

~ humility

~ physical health

~ purity

~ selflessness

~ the heart to submit to your husband; your husband's heart to lead

~ biblical view of finances

 There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God. -- Brother Lawrence

Wednesday - Your Relatives

~ salvation and/or disciplined Christian walk

~ physical health

~ relationships

~ biblical view of finances

We hear it said that a man will suffer in his life if he does not pray; I question it. What will suffer is the life of the Son of God within him, which is nourished not by food but by prayer...Prayer is the way the life of God is nourished. -- Oswald Chambers

Thursday - Neighborhood & Workplace & Country

~ salvation

~ relationships

~ physical health

~ evangelical opportunities

~ for political leaders to know and follow God

~ for whole-country revival; for hearts to be convicted about abortion

~ that Christians will vote

Friday - Church & Missionaries & Personal Ministries

~ salvation of fellow churchgoers

~ church children & teens & singles

~ pastor & his family

~ disciplined Christian walk for congregation

~ evangelical opportunities

~ strength & courage

~ biblical view of finances

~ ministry health & effectiveness

 "I would rather train twenty men to pray, than a thousand to preach; A minister's highest mission ought to be to teach his people to pray." -- MacGregor

Saturday - The struggling; the least of God's people

~ global orphan crisis (and how can I personally help)

~ widows

~ end to human trafficking (and how can I personally help)

~ end to governmental corruption in 3rd world

~ that more Christians will sponsor and write to 3rd world children through Christian sponsorship organizations

~ for the end of abject poverty in the world (Much progress has been made in this in the last 50 years. There will always be poverty, but not necessary abject poverty.)

When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When he stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When he stops praying, the devil shouts for joy. -- Corrie Ten Boom

Sunday - Your Friendships and Your Own Christian Walk

~ salvation and good health for friends & their families

~ disciplined Christian walks for friends

~ deal with any unconfessed personal sin

~ your prayer life

~ your Bible reading discipline

~ your own health issues

Bless you in this endeavor, and let me know how it goes this week?

Sharing with Works For Me Wednesday at We Are That Family



Reworked post from 2013.

Prayer for a Weary Mom After a Long Day

Exodus 15:2 The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

A prayer for the weary mom who packs so much into a day, 10 PM finds her a wired ball of stress...too agitated for bedtime.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You are an awesome God, abounding in love. We praise your holy name! We love you and we thank you for the gift of abundant life, for forgiveness, mercy, grace. We thank you for our families. Thank you for the ministry that is children. Thank you for the cuddles and the giggles and the silly jokes. Thank you for the healthy, growing bodies. May we stop and give thanks, we mothers, even on the hard days when everyone squabbles and the volume rises. May we run the race with grace and patience, knowing that the fruit of our labor is guaranteed by your partnership with us, and by our obedience to your will. May we model obedience and self-sacrifice, love and faith, mercy and wisdom. Fill us up now with your Holy Spirit, and give us a restful sleep, quieted by your love.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

A Prayer for Monday

2 Chronicles 15:7
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

A prayer for Monday:

Dear Heavenly Father, 

We thank you for Mondays and for all new beginnings. Thank you for your graciousness in loving us and counseling and comforting us through your Holy Spirit. You are all we need, Father. May we be strong and not give up. May we be consistent in our Bible reading and prayer. May we live for you today, making your purpose our own. May we face challenges head on with you by our side. Give us your wisdom and mercy...your continued grace and favor. May our hearts be glad and grateful, looking for your gifts everywhere. Keep us from temptation; may the world not stain our hearts or weaken our resolve. May we keep our eyes on Heaven, on you, and on our reward. 

In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

A Prayer for Humility and Bravery

I miss this blog...this white page in front of me. All the thoughts, reflections and Holy Spirit whispers come together here, jumbled at first, but by the time I insert the last punctuation mark, clarity is mine. I love it.

But the fall homeschool and chore schedules haven't been written yet. My mother has flown back to Oregon but there's still some church business coupled with homeschool business--both keeping me from claiming this white page.

I serve as a Birth-Kindergarten Children's Ministry Coordinator for my church (six weeks on the job). Prior to my stepping in there was no supervision over the two classrooms. The prior director taught Sunday School and she couldn't coordinate at the same time.

I asked my volunteers for a couple minor things, with the Pastor's blessing. Be in your classroom 15 minutes prior to the start of service and please check the number tags when releasing a child to a parent. The tags were already in use but the church fell lax in verifying them upon pickup.

I've been actively recruiting too, for the past six weeks. Two newborns have joined our church and will soon need one-on-one ministry in the nursery, meaning we need three adults per week instead of two. And the preschool room was insufficiently staffed as well.

The volunteer response has been good from the congregation, but as I've asked for promptness and tag checking, two people have stepped down from their long-time positions. The same people who from the beginning were unfriendly rather than thankful (for leadership).

And so I'm learning that dealing with people--sinners, all of us--is not easy. I'm suffering a little insomnia as I process why someone would step down because of a tiny bit of structure gently imposed upon them (I'm not an in-your-face person at all and I praise well). As I reflect I'm realizing that the best role model for the children is someone with a humble, teachable heart. A heart that can take reasonable, necessary direction without hostility or pride--for the good of the children involved.

Whenever we feel like quitting--whatever it is--we have to analyze what's driving our desire and ask the Holy Spirit for help in sorting out the sinful from the legitimate. We can't trust our hearts, which are deceitful above all, scripture tells us. Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

The whole ministry experience makes me sad just now, even though most volunteers have stayed and most are helpful and friendly. There are two more that have been unfriendly and unless the Holy Spirit intervenes, I expect they might make a move soon too. I'm sad that humility is the last thing we covet as a church community, and as women working together.

I was safe before I volunteered for this. You know that feeling? I liked safe but that ad in the church bulletin, asking for ministry help, kept blaring week after week until I could no longer ignore it, especially given that my four children benefit from Sunday school ministry.

Nevertheless, I'm not sorry I said yes; I know God has a reason for this journey.

I want to offer a prayer that we'll have brave and humble hearts.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Lord, you are so faithful to us. Thank you that you always sit by the way and talk with us. You always have time to listen and to mold, taking the impure out and replacing it with Truth. Make us a humble people taking after your Son, rather than after Eve in the garden. May we not insist on our own way, but make way for You. May we serve bravely, not clinging to safety but trusting in you. We want it to be about you and never about us. Send us running to your Word and to prayer with a wild hunger and thirst. 

As homemakers, wives and mothers, help us to live sacrificially with a smile not a grumble. We ask for the wisdom to choose our pursuits and our battles well. Reign victoriously, Father, in every heart in our home. May our lives reflect your will, your love, your agenda.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

 image

A Prayer For a New Season

I can't wait to get back to our school routine and I'm itching for fall weather too. Whenever I catch myself wanting to rush a season, I slow down and remember that each day is a gift and each day offers a special grace or surprise, courtesy of our loving and attentive Heavenly Father. I downloaded some pictures to remind me of summer's graces.

 

 

For the most part the weather and mosquitoes were terrible, and our favorite garden vegetable, yellow squash, failed for the first time ever. Just too wet and not enough sun this summer. The giant pumpkins died on the vine too.

 

But there were blessings, as the photos below attest to. And there is hope for a better summer next year.

 

I love even the sound of that word...hope.

 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

 

In a couple weeks I start schooling the boys again, along with Mary who will be a first grader. Beth will join in as I have time to accomodate her.

I made room for Mary's weak attention span last year, her kindergarten year, but this year I plan to work her hard. She'll likely need the Lord's grace and strength to make the adjustment. And Momma too, because household duties will get behind as I sit with her for longer segments this year.

 

 

My hope is that the right schedule will come together, with God's help, so we're learning and having fun together at the same time. And to maintain Momma's sanity, I pray that under my tutelage, the children will surpass chore expectations as well as their schooling goals.

 

 

And on that note, I'll pray for our family and yours as we look to fall:

 

Dear Heavenly Father,

 

Thank you for your love and unending grace. Thank you for the opportunity to pray and share our hopes with you. A new season will dawn soon and we thank you for it. We thank you for four seasons--four modes of fun and beauty each year. Your plan is amazing. You are amazing.

 

Please bless this blog community as we tackle new challenges in time management and parenting. May our standards be high and our children respond well. Shower us with grace for one another and for ourselves as we start anew. Keep our eyes on you and on what you've done--not on ourselves. Change our hearts from selfish to sacrificial. May we live in this world but be heaven-minded.

 

The world is so very lost, Lord, and that can be scary. We read that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are addicted to pornography. We read that more and more children are losing their Christian worldview, not to mention their purity. Help us to say no to unsupervised Internet access. Help our children to stand strong for you. Help us, as parents, to practice what we preach. May our children and our families as a whole, become excited readers and doers of the Word this fall.

 

Give us discernment in all things, Lord. We humbly ask you for wisdom. We humbly ask you for blessing in our homes. Knit us together tightly, Lord. Parent to child and child to parent and sibling to sibling. May we stand strong as one unit, defeating Satan's schemes. May your mercy and grace follow us throughout our days. May we love you with all our hearts, never putting ourselves first, but you.

 

May we bless the least of these this fall, Father, whether it be through Compassion International or another entity. Help us to give thanks for our blessings, hold them loosely and spread them wide. May we write many a letter to our sponsored children, telling them that yes, Jesus loves them. They are valued, loved, beyond words by their Heavenly Father and by us. May the words sink deep into their hearts, Lord. May they no longer be bound by hopelessness, Father, but by love. Redeem their stories, Lord, and ours too as we give. Make beauty from ashes in our hearts and theirs.

 

Bless each and every marriage represented in this blog community. May we love one another, sacrifice for one another, extend mercy to one another, for your glory and for the good of our children's someday-marriages. May the health of their marriages begin building today, as our own strengthen.

 

May we look for blessing and beauty in each September day, may we give thanks, and may we slow down for fixed prayer, honoring our first love. Jesus.

 

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

 

 

Our ninth annual visit to the county fair!

 

 

We're at my aunt and uncle's house here, who are hosting my mom during her visit. Yes, you count five children here. One is a third cousin.

 



Pray Without Ceasing - It's Not Impossible

In this post I wrote about God's work in my life regarding the management of stress. Specifically, what God is teaching me is to pray first whenever a difficulty arrives, rather than responding with bodily stress that raises my blood pressure and changes my mood, all because I'm trying to deal with the difficulty in my own strength.

Over a full day these stress responses wear me out emotionally and keep me from mothering the way I want to, especially at the end of the day.

In response to that post, a reader wrote: "I have been working on praying first instead of stressing. I cannot believe all the testimonies I have experienced already! The only problem is I still struggle to do it. Why?":)

Well...I might have an answer to that. I've thought about it a lot these last couple weeks.

When I was nursing Beth I had an active prayer life (she nursed 4.5 years total). Three months after she was born my husband lost his job, bringing a great deal of stress in my life. Before long I was praying each time I nursed and even after the intensity of that time passed, my mind kept associating nursing with prayer time. It became automatic and the connection in my mind lasted for the full length of our nursing relationship.

Beth slowly weaned herself over several months so that by June, 2013, she was barely asking to nurse at all. After a three-week break she did ask to nurse suddenly, but the milk diminished enough that she wasn't getting much for her effort. She asked a few more times and then stopped asking altogether, with nary a complaint.
  
It happened so slowly that it didn't dawn on me right away. The less she nursed, the fewer prayer sessions I enjoyed. See, the nursing sessions were a fixed prayer time for me.

Now that she's weaned, I've had to ask myself the same question you see posted above: "The only problem is I still struggle to do it? Why?"

I can answer this only for myself, but maybe it will help some of you too. In my life it took a fixed prayer time to focus my mind and heart on prayer, so that over time fellowshipping with God became more automatic--less an act of my will. And because I was conversing so often with him, it spilled over into other times of the day. My mind was in tune with God--used to talking with him. It became a habit.

When we sit down for a once-a-day quiet time that's an act of our will. It's wonderful and obedient. But the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. How do we make the transition from praying at our quiet time and before our meals, to praying without ceasing?

1 Thessolonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.…

Developing a prayer habit is the answer. Experts say it takes 21 consecutive days for an act of our will to become a habit. Our minds are too quick to roll through life without thought of God, but a fixed, recurring reminder would solve that dilemma. I believe this is what God is referring to when he instructed us to pray without ceasing. He's saying: Form a habit of putting me first...of making me your first love.

Luke 10:27 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind..."

We begin to love him with all our hearts after we've formed a habit of conversing with Him throughout the day.

What did it take to fall in love with our husbands way back when? We formed a habit of talking on the phone and getting together for fellowship. Gradually, we shared more and more without fear until eventually we had to get married. Being apart wasn't feasible anymore.

That is what God wants from our hearts. That they would be so in tune with his, that being apart becomes unfeasible.

We each need to find something in our lives that will function as a fixed prayer time, whether it's washing dishes the long way three times a day, or doing laundry or preparing meals. Something.

Changing a diaper, maybe?

If nothing else we can set the oven timer three or four times a day, to remind us to pause the regular daily programming and stop for prayer. Our children can participate too, either privately or with the family unit.

Gradually, the prayer relationship will solidify and spill over into other times of the day. We'll respond to difficult situations first with prayer, because prayer will become part of who we are. We'll become a prayer warrior.

Daily Christian life is a battleground; Satan's always ready to fight for our hearts. Our best defense is offense and prayer is that offense.

I believe there really is a way to pray without ceasing. It won't happen overnight and at first it will be an act of our will, but the Holy Spirit will meet us far more than halfway. He will make us succeed if our hearts are sincere.

The work of grace that started when we first believed will prevail.

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

What reminds you to pray throughout the day?

Cross references:

1. Philippians 1:6 : Ps 138:8
2. Philippians 1:6 : ver 10; S 1Co 1:8

Unhappy Christian Wives, Part 2

On July 16 last year, I wrote a post entitled An Open Letter to Unhappy Christian Wives. It was actually a copy of a letter I wrote to a woman planning a divorce. She and her husband had gone to counseling with poor results--in her opinion, he wasn't changing any of the things on her laundry list.

Yes, she gave him a list of things he was supposed to change, and he failed.

Shortly before her divorce this woman's husband came to know the Lord but the laundry list of things she didn't like about him sent her packing; the divorce is now final. Never once did she admit to any fault in the troubled marriage, but she spoke daily--in everyone's hearing--about her husband's faults.

She is only an acquaintance of mine, but we know her son, a former homeschooler, and she works at my husband's workplace.

In my letter I told her boldly "No one increases their personal peace through non-biblical divorce."  (Just so you know, he was not abusing her or cheating.)

Immediately after she left the home with their 13-year-old son, trouble followed her everywhere...trouble with their son, an addiction, her purity, her finances, her daily schedule. She came to work crying on many occasions, and still does a year later. In short, she's a mess and her son despises her. If something doesn't change she may be without a job soon.

I was brave enough to write this letter to her because of concern for her son, and because three months prior, I wrote one to another couple on the brink of divorce and God used it. They reconciled, stopped the divorce proceedings, and the wife moved back in. Later in the year they split again, divorced, but kept in contact. The husband came to know the Lord and tried very hard to change the woman's mind, and she did date him for a few months and they saw pastors for counseling, but then later she met someone else. End of story and her ex-husband is in a lot of pain right now, wondering where God is.

Between the two letters I probably spent eight hours of my time, and then more time praying. I can't tell you how sad the outcomes have left me, but I know better than to waste time wondering if I could have chosen my words better, or if I could have prayed more, or if maybe I should have minded my own business.

Free will is a gift from God, but Satan uses it to destory us and that's what happened here. There was too much Satan and not enough God in the equation. God was big enough, but the women weren't willing to wait on the Lord. Satan spoke a better sales pitch, deceptive though it was.

When there's trouble in human relationships, God works miracles through prayer and willing hearts, but the time table is rarely to our liking. We may start out following God, but when the path seems too long with no end in sight, we look for shortcuts. I don't want to wait any longer for happiness. I want to chase after it myself, for I know just what the answer is and I see it within my reach. (So Satan tells us.)

My Open Letter has yielded 255 hits on this small-scale blog, usually through searches such as: unhappy in Christian marriage, or unhappy Christian wife. I always wonder, when I see the titled searched, if someone, somewhere, is helped. I pray sometimes for the anonymous person who reads it, wondering if my prayer will make a difference in whether they feel disgust at my words, or conviction.

What was I asking of this woman, in my letter? Sacrificial love such as our Savior gave to us. While we were sinners, Christ died for us. We are sinful women married to sinful men and that part never changes. Giving a spouse a laundry list of things to change--essentially saying, "Please be less sinful," doesn't solve anything or yield positive results.

Marriage doesn't make us happy, and neither does it complete us. Our joy is in the Lord and in our relationship with Him. We are not defined by our marriage relationship but by our commitment to following Christ. Do we take up our cross and follow Him, or do we take up our grievances and let them destory us?

The answer to any relationship problem is this: "Be still and know that I am God." And while you're being still, read your Bible and pray. Realize that your joy is in that, not in your husband's personality qualities.

How many times in the last week have you prayed for your spouse and for your relationship, versus how many times you've lamented about your unhappiness? If the grieving outweighs the prayer, you only pile on more grievances.

We don't like to admit it, but we have plenty wrong with us. Our prayers, responded to by the Holy Spirit, gently lead us to a purer heart. It's never supposed to be..."Dear God, there is just so much wrong with my husband." Rather, we should begin, "Dear God, there is just so much wrong with my heart. Please purify it and my husband's too. We want our marriage to bring you glory."

Does God need us to tell him what's wrong with our husband? Does He not know? Of course He does; we are the ignorant ones. We don't know what's wrong with our own hearts. Our prayers reveal it, and then the Holy Spirit works with our free will to create beauty from ashes.

Without the prayer we remain lost, thinking it's our husband's fault all the while.

Here's the Fix:

1. Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46: 10)

2. Give up your own way and follow Him. Matthew 6:24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

2. Pray much. Ask for heart purification.

3. Read your Bible. Every time you think a negative thought about your husband or your marriage, take up your Bible and read.

4. Keep a blessing list; practice gratitude.

5. Be still and know that I am God.

Prayer Time: Dear Heavenly Father, you are everything to our being. Thank you for your abundant gifts and your sacrificial love. Thank you that your love never ends and never makes mistakes. We don't realize it sometimes, but our hearts ache for you, not for perfection in our relationships. Help us to fill up on you, and to love others with the overflow of our hearts. Love is an outpouring, not a feeling. Purify our hearts so we can see the answers in your Word and want to obey them.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Dear Reader, I wish you joy. I'm sorry about your pain. Please, do steps one through five above and know a joy, and a Savior, who will rock your world with goodness.  
 

Praying Old Prayers With New Faith

source

The AWANA Cubbies' teacher is out of town and in preparation for teaching the lesson tonight, I read the accounts of Jesus' resurrection in all four Gospels. I came across the doubting Thomas passage, which I've read many times before. But the Holy Spirit teaches every scripture in our hearts with a different emphasis, depending on where we're at spiritually.

We can never be done with the Bible, but Satan can and will deceive us into thinking we don't need it, with as much cunning as he deceived Eve in the Garden. Essentially, the serpent told Eve, "You don't need God." And she believed him.

The less we read our Bibles, the less we have of God. And what do we need more than God? What do our souls crave more than God? Nothing.

Don't let the serpent work on you. The Bible is mirror and soap...to reveal and wash away our sins and give us a new beginning...a new energy to obey and serve. And a renewed hope in, and love for, the Lord our God.

Without mirror and soap, what would we be? Like filthy, stinky vagabonds, following the serpent blindly.

As you read this doubting Thomas passage, remember the lesson I wrote about on Monday, regarding the power of faith? Here we have another example of how we please the Lord with our faith. Look especially for Jesus' response to Thomas' doubting.

 John 20:24-29

Jesus and Thomas (ESV scripture source here)

24 Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

 26 Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” 28 Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

How many times have I prayed for my extended family's salvation over the past 16 years? More times than I can count, but how many times did I pray with a strong faith that the Lord would answer?

Less than I'd like to recount.

How many times have my husband and me prayed about my headaches over the 14 years we've been married? Countless times, but how many times did we pray with faith that healing would really happen?

I can only speak for myself, but....less times than I'd like to recount.

I have great faith, don't get me wrong. I know the Lord can save, and can heal. I know He's mighty enough...sovereign enough.

But lately scripture has taught me anew that my faith pleases the Lord. If I can't pray a prayer with real faith that it will be answered, why pray it at all?

John 14:13
Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

1 John 5:14
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Isaiah 55:8-9, below, reminds me that God doesn't have to answer my prayers with a yes. His ways are not my ways and sometimes, a no answer is the best. He answers according to His will, and eventually as we grow in Him, we begin to pray according to His will.

Isaiah 55:8-9
For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.

Sometimes--this is what I think about perhaps too often--the Lord says no because His grace is sufficient for us, as he taught the Apostle Paul about the thorn in his flesh. My problem is that all too often I pray thinking God will say no, offering His grace instead.

When I pray without faith, who am I fooling? The Lord knows my heart when I pray. When I assume he will offer grace instead of a yes, aren't I being rather presumptuous...guessing the Lord's ways? Even questioning, in a sense, his sovereignty?

I urge you to consider, especially if you have long-unanswered prayer, are you praying with the faith of a little child? An eager, believing child?

Mark 10:13-16 He was indignant and said to them, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it at all." 16 And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands upon them.

John 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God

We all need reminders of  Hebrews 11:6  And without faith it is impossible to please God...

 Please Him today...pray old prayers with new faith.