Joy in the Morning

We have various neighbors in love with fireworks and so last night they started with the booms, keeping them going until past 11:00 PM. This happens every year, for a couple days before the 4th and a couple days after, with last night being the most prolific night on record.

At least one of my four children has been afraid of firework booms in the ten years we've lived here, so we rarely sleep much around the Fourth. Of course, as soon as a child gets sleep deprived, hyper alertness kicks in and it's boot camp for Mom.

Our anniversary is July 3rd and we always forget it. Both of us, because the household is crazy on July 3rd, and besides, there's no going on dates anyway.

My boys, now 11 and 13, sleep in as teens are apt to do, which has been a huge relief as far as the occasional late nights go.

But my girls, particularly Mary, do poorly on little sleep and will typically get up earlier the next morning, not later. Unless I can figure out how to break the cycle, these become grueling weeks.

Mary's panicked over fireworks for three years running now, because just like with thunder and lightning, she thinks one of them will hit our roof and our house will burn down. No amount of counseling helps her through this. Once the wave of anxiety hits, it lasts until morning.

Additionally last night, Peter threw up after initially going to sleep fine. So around midnight, with Mary still awake, we're trying to figure out how to deal with his bedding and the floor, while also wondering if he caught a virus and would throw up again within the hour, or if he ate too much (was it the 2 smores on top of eating his own homemade oatmeal cookies?).

Then there's Paul, whose OCD is mild, until someone throws up. He has the lucky-number, bad-luck number OCD (yes, it does exist), as well as contamination OCD (doesn't touch doorknobs or the toilet knob if he can help it, or his own pants zipper, among other weirdness).

Incidentally, OCD people do incredibly weird things and even when they get together for group support, they're still incredulous at some of the weird things other patients do. "You do that...really?"

It so happens that last July 4th, Paul threw up, which of course means July 4th is bad luck. Once last year Peter threw up after a park visit and Paul refused to go to any park for about 6 weeks after that. Because of course, going to the park is bad luck.

Welcome to my insanity.

The fact that Peter threw up last night confirmed the doom.  Paul laid awake for hours, worrying it was coming any second.

Um, misery doesn't cover it.

We were all wondering (except Beth) in the late night why it's one crisis after another in our lives. The entire month of June was rain and clouds, being the 3rd rainiest June on record. Mary was miserable, even though most of the downpours didn't involve thunder and lightning. Still, the weather service always warns that there could be lightning and that's all it takes to start her anxiety.

Peter didn't have a virus, it turns out. We remembered a problem he had last summer, which resurfaced this week, after the sun finally decided to come out. People on SSRI drugs for OCD or depression have reduced sweating and their bodies get too hot easily, even without excessive exertion. It only takes the sun or a too-warm room. It starts with a mild headache and can build over a few days if caution isn't exercised.

Even though his body temperature wasn't necessarily elevated last night, he was still overheated from three days outside doing minor gardening and looking for toads, frogs, cicadas, and trying his hand at an ant farm.

Water consumption helps once a headache hits, but it doesn't slow the process down enough. He has to go outside, we've discovered, with a wet hat on his head and a wet shirt, since he won't sweat enough to cool himself. He's always worn hats but they've been dark blue and not wet, so they heated him, rather than cooled him.

Anyway, we woke up this morning to a new day. A new hope. Peter is well and the children are all smiles and hugs and joy again.

The fatigue hasn't hit them yet.

Now, Beth, my post-surgery patient? (Thank you for your prayers!) She slept well. Her eyes look horrible (huge blood blisters all over the whites of the eyes) and at times she has double, confused vision as her eye muscles adjust (this could last six weeks). This child isn't fearful about anything unless blood is mentioned, so well it thunders away and fireworks boom and people throw up around her, no problem. She isn't fazed. She's my only child without anxiety, but of course arthritis is no picnic, nor surgeries either.

At one o'clock this afternoon, Paul, reflecting on the nice day he and the others were having, said, "Wow, Mommy! That Bible verse it true. Joy does come in the morning!"

Psalm 30:1-5
A psalm. A song. For the dedication of the temple. Of David.

I will exalt you, Lord,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.

Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

It's so easy to get lost in the stress and turmoil, but God's got this. He uses it all for His glory. Children who suffer illness and disorder have a special purpose in God's Kingdom, although to the families involved it can feel so isolating. I see God's hand in it time and again and He is my strength. 

Happy Fourth of July! Bless you all and thank you for your friendship.

Prayer for Eye Surgery

He's one of America's leading experts on lazy eye: Amblyopia and Strabismus. In 1999 he developed a surgery that changed the outcome for patients suffering from congenital Nystagmus. People travel from all over the world to have him operate on their children; I've seen them in his office over the years.

We've been seeing him since my daughter Beth was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis at two and a half. She has a type of arthritis that can cause eye inflammation which, when left untreated, leads to blindness. She's had the inflammation twice, early on, but not for a long while now (treated with steroid drops). He adores my Beth and he's the nicest man.

He treated her wandering eyes (inherited from her dad and my paternal grandmother) with prisms in her glasses, to no avail. I've known since February that she needed this surgery.

He helps veterans with combat-associated eye problems, and he even said he might be able to help my 56-year-old husband, possibly, with the double vision he's had since childhood, due to a botched pediatric eye muscle surgery.

I'm so grateful God has seen fit to put us here, with this doctor.

But. 

The surgery is tomorrow morning and I'm so scared I'm having trouble concentrating and keeping my breathing even. I'm not quite sure why, because he performs about a dozen of these surgeries per week. Maybe because some kids have to have surgery again, or maybe because I'm afraid she won't wake up.

Please pray all goes well and that the problem will resolve after one surgery?

Thank you!

Causes of Addiction to Video Games, Technology

I'm sure my last post regarding video games ruffled some feathers. Nevertheless, today I'm following up to provide insight into addiction in general.

I grew up with someone addicted to alcohol. Thus, my attitude toward addiction will always be ruled by disdain and horror. Addiction is one of the ugliest dimensions of the human experience. Eventually, it steals the soul, literally.

It's a tragedy--but a preventable one.

I keep in mind that not everyone who drinks is addicted, and that the Bible doesn't prohibit drinking--only drunkenness. So when Christians talk about drinking or drink in front of me, I have to monitor my facial expressions and attitudes as my upbringing comes into play. It's a fight to act normal.

Naturally, my attitudes about introducing addictive things into a Christian home will be strong ones, so keep that in mind as you read. My perspective is likely different from yours.

In today's society addiction takes many forms, and we have to be vigilant in keeping our hearts and lives pure--recognizing that we are no longer slaves to sin or self, but to Christ.

Addictions to consider:

- Alcohol (now, a full third of Americans display problem drinking)

- Street drugs, prescribed drugs

- Nicotine, caffeine

- The checking of social stats, texts, email - We get a brain high when someone connects with us positively, and a brain slump when someone doesn't. The checking of stats dictates our moods if we're not careful to monitor it. This is why 60% of people are said to be addicted to their smart phones. Our identity isn't meant to be tied up in what people think of us. This is the main reason it's hard to be a teen; the temptation to evaluate oneself based upon peers is so strong. Parents have to keep their kids talking, and make sure family is more important than peers.

- Attention - This is somewhat connected to checking stats, above. Younger people especially are addicted to attention. They get it with their outrageously risque clothes (the barely-there red carpet dress, their daring or dangerous feats, their social media accounts). When their clothes no longer bring the desired attention, they make confessions to get attention. We're raising and witnessing a whole generation of people who lack humility--which is a proper sense of their position before God and their fellow man.

- Shopping

- Video gaming

- Gambling

- Internet Use (either pornography, or just sitting there wasting time)

- Excessive eating/binge eating

Causes of Addiction

While there are certain conditions that predispose a person to addiction, such as impulse-control disorders or mood disorders, there are also social factors associated with addiction. Human beings require healthy connection to God first, and to others, second. The greatest commandment lays this out pretty simply:

Jesus replied: “'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

When this is absent, addiction becomes a possibility. Good, loving people aren't enough--our souls need the Lord first and foremost. Human beings will always disappoint, and ideally, we minister to them without expecting something in return. We don't love to get love. Rather, we love because he first loved us, to overflowing. Our love toward others is an outpouring of what God has poured into us.

Our initial connection with the concept of love comes from our family life growing up. Our ability to believe how much God loves us is primed by having been loved wholly by our parents.

Children who grew up in addicted or dysfunctional homes received too little love, and what they did receive wasn't a healthy, but rather a manipulative-type love. It goes like this: You play along with my addiction--that there's nothing wrong with me--and I will reward you with acceptance and love. If you don't play along, I will withhold my love from you.

High percentages of these children grow up to be addicted themselves, due to a lack of healthy connection. They had no model of what a healthy relationship looks like; they choose relationships that mirror the patterns they grew up with.

Consider that cocaine is considered to be the most addictive substance around, and yet when offered to rats in isolation, they became addicted strongly, and when offered to rats in groups, addiction rates were lower. The lonely rats still became addicted, but not the more social ones. And further, when addicted rats were taken out of isolation and put in a "rat park", they got over their addiction relatively quickly, with just some withdrawal symptoms. 

Humans are not rats, but let's assume from this that our ability to develop and maintain healthy relationships insulates us from addiction.

Therefore, what is happening to us as we spend hours on the Internet, or on games, or on phones or tablets? We're spending less time with God. We're practicing our social skills less. We're making fewer new connections with people. We're bonding less with our family members, who are all into their own screens.

As a result, when a crisis comes, we're less able to handle it, and we run to our default substance or behavior even more. We're starting with a weakened support system.

It seems, then, that it isn't so much the substance, the behavior, or the device that's the problem in terms of understanding addiction. It's the strength of our connection to others.

This is a strong message to all of us parents. We are responsible for building strong relationships with our children and spouse. We can't let our own use of substances, or technology, or shopping, etc. get in the way of this. 

Solution:

Engage. That's the operative word here. Instead of escape, engage. Yes, it's messy sometimes, especially if we've let resentments build. Embrace the messy to experience the fruit of healthy connection.

I'll close with this information on symptoms of video game addiction in teens, found here.

Symptoms of Video Game Addiction in Teens

Although it hasn't been given an "official" diagnosis, addiction-like behaviors with computer, video, and Internet gaming have noticeably increased among both teenagers and adults. Like any addictive behavior, there are signs to look for if you suspect your teen might have a gaming addiction. Your teen need only exhibit two or three of these symptoms for his behavior to be considered "addictive."

• Preoccupation
  Someone who is addicted to computer, video, or Internet gaming often exhibits an unusual preoccupation with the game or computer when he is away from it. The teen could seem distracted, irritable, or disinterested and may talk about the game almost constantly.
• Downplaying Computer Use
  It's common for someone with addictive, computer-related behaviors to downplay the amount of time she spends in front of the TV or computer. The person may make excuses, saying she "needs" to be online, or may outright lie.
• Lack of Control
  A person who is addicted, or at risk of becoming addicted to gaming, is unable to control the amount of time she spends on the computer. She may go online with the intent to spend 15 or 20 minutes, but will keep extending the time until several hours have passed.
• Loss of Time
  Along the same lines, a person may sit down at his computer, again with the intent to spend only a few minutes, but completely lose track of time and suddenly find that several hours have passed. It is not unusual for someone with a gaming addiction to play through the night and only realize how much time has passed when the sun begins to rise.
• Negative Impact on Other Areas of Life
  Because the person spends so much time on the computer or video game console, other areas of life are neglected. He may grow distant from friends and family who had previously been close. Homework may go unfinished, causing grades to slip. In more extreme cases, the teen may even neglect personal hygiene, choosing to play video games rather than taking a shower.
• Hiding From Negative or Uncomfortable Feelings or Situations
  Some people become addicted to gaming because they use it to self-medicate. When confronted with situations or feelings that are uncomfortable (feeling sad, arguing with a friend, or getting a bad grade), the person may "hide" in the game as a method of avoidance.
• Defensiveness
  When confronted or asked about his time spent gaming, a person may become defensive. Denial is often an indication that something is wrong, especially if the person seems unconcerned that friends and family feel neglected or left out of his life.
• Misuse of Money
  Someone who is addicted to video, computer, or Internet gaming will spend a disproportionate amount of money on computer-related items. The person will seem to be continually upgrading hardware, software packages, and accessories. This becomes an even greater problem if the person spends money that should be used for bills, groceries, and other necessities.
• Mixed Feelings
  As with any addiction, use of the "substance" – in this case, the video game – initially causes euphoric feelings, but that euphoria is quickly followed by guilt. Guilt may be felt either over what the person is doing while online or simply the amount of time he is spending at the computer.

Though this list is not exhaustive, it provides warning signs for parents, friends, and other family members to look for if they are concerned about someone's use of video, computer, or Internet games. This list can also be used as a self-diagnosis tool for those who believe they may have a problem.

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Nourishing Your Family Series: Greek Yogurt

As you may have noticed, Greek yogurt is threatening to overtake the dairy case at your local market. It's fast, convenient, and very healthy, so this is one bandwagon you can get on with confidence.

Over in Greece they strain yogurt (called straggisto) and use it as a key ingredient in other foods, such as tzatziki dip. However, they don't use the term "Greek yogurt", which has become a hit in Europe and America.

Before we discuss the specific benefits of Greek yogurt, let's go over some comparisons.

How does it stack up to regular yogurt? Pretty well, with less sodium, far less sugar, much more protein, and only slightly less calcium. Greek yogurt is made by separating out the liquid whey, so it contains less lactose, making it a good alternative for people with lactose-sensitivity or allergy.

Just beware of the fat and buy the non-fat or low-fat version. I've been consuming non-fat dairy for decades and believe me, you'll get used to the taste quickly and afterwards, even low-fat dairy won't appeal to you.

If you can handle sour cream, you can handle non-fat, plain Greek yogurt. I drizzle a tiny bit of maple syrup or raw honey on mine. Don't stir in the syrup or honey because it won't add much overall taste or sweetness that way. Just use it as a topping.

Another alternative is to add dried cranberries, raisins, or fresh blueberries or strawberries--the list is endless.  If you must have more flavor and sugar (our your kids want it), try Chobani flavored non-fat Greek yogurt, which is a good, natural brand with less sugar than regular yogurt.

Sugar Content Comparison:
1 cup non-fat, plain Greek yogurt = 9 grams sugar (naturally-occurring sugar, not added)

1 cup Chobani non-fat vanilla Greek yogurt = 20 grams sugar (evaporated cane juice adds sugar)

1 cup Chobani non-fat strawberry Greek yogurt = 23 grams sugar (evaporated cane juice)

1 cup Activia peach low-fat yogurt (regular yogurt, not Greek) = 38 grams sugar (sugar and fructose)

Maximum recommended daily added (not naturally occurring) sugar for women is 25 grams or 6 teaspoons (100 calories).

A nutritional note about adding honey or dried fruit to non-fat, plain Greek yogurt:

1 T. honey =  17 grams sugar

60 raisins (1 oz) = 17 grams of sugar

1/4 cup of dried cranberries (Craisin brand) = 29 grams sugar (find a brand with less added sugar than Craisins)

Dried cranberries contain antioxidants and can help regulate blood sugar for Type 2 diabetics, but it's important to find a brand with lower added sugar--and Craisins isn't one of those brands!

How does honey compare to table sugar as an additive? Honey contains the same basic sugar units as table sugar--glucose and fructose. But granulated table sugar, or sucrose, has glucose and fructose hooked together, whereas in honey, glucose and fructose remain in separate units. Fructose does not convert to energy as efficiently as glucose, so foods containing granulated sugar high in fructose convert to fat stores more easily than honey.

1 tsp. table sugar = 16 calories
1 tsp. honey = 22 calories (but people use less of it. It's sweeter and denser.)

Here we go: The health benefits of Greek yogurt:

 Protein

Protein is necessary for cell growth, building muscle, and repairing tissue. As we age we need more protein to keep our skin and our immune system healthy.

1 cup of non-fat, plain Greek yogurt = 23 grams of protein 
1 cup non-fat, plain regular yogurt = 13 grams
1 cup of non-fat milk = 8 grams protein
4 oz. grilled chicken breast = 36 grams protein

B-12 

Greek yogurt is packed with B-12, which we need for energy level and healthy brain function. In the American diet, the other significant source of this vitamin is meat.

Potassium

Our bodies must have a balance between sodium and potassium--especially important in American diets, which tend to be high in sodium from processed foods. Greek yogurt is high in potassium and helps with this essential balance.

Iodine (helpful for weight loss)

Greek yogurt is full of iodine, which is essential for proper thyroid function and as such, is necessary for a healthy metabolism and a healthy weight.

Calcium (and limiting fat production)

Not only is calcium necessary for bone health, but also for limiting fat production. Here's how: Cortisol is a hormone whose release can cause the body to store more fat (stressed much? Wondering where that fat is coming from?). Calcium is linked to the regulation of cortisol output. 

Here's the science surrounding the stress hormone, cortisol, excerpted below:

"In scientific lingo, the stress response system is called the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA axis). After perceiving a stressor, a small brain area called the hypothalamus sends a chemical message to the pituitary gland. From here a new chemical message is sent out of the brain through our blood, to the producers of stress hormones called the adrenal glands that sit on top of the kidneys. This message says “secrete cortisol”."

Thus, by consuming a diet high in calcium, you can partially limit fat production. One cup of non-fat, plain Greek yogurt contains 30% of your daily calcium.  We're encouraged by nutrition experts to get calcium from dietary sources, rather than from supplements.

Probiotics

Greek yogurt is packed with probiotics, which are microorganisms (good bacteria) that normally live in our intestines. Without a proper balance of good bacteria, bad bacteria build up and damage our immune systems. A healthy digestive system is especially important for those with disorders such as irritable bowel syndrome.

Do you eat Greek yogurt? How do you like it? 

Along with a slice of homemade wheat/flax bread, it's my favorite lunch treat, and I also sometimes use it in place of meat to reduce our grocery bill (in place of meat just for me, not the others). Peter loves it too, and Beth is acclimating to it, but she misses her vanilla Activia, which I quit buying due to the additives and sugar. My husband, Mary, and Paul have never liked any kind of yogurt.

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Weekly Homeschool and Life Wrap-Up 4/10

Starting with gratitude this week...

Giving thanks for these blessings...

~ Grace that reigns down on my spirit just when I'm feeling such despair 

~ Greening grass everywhere, promising more color soon

~ Spending my days with four sweet, imaginative children

~ Freshly baked wheat bread with honey

~ Sweet strawberries 

~ Soothing words, promising words, glorious words from the Bible

~ Friends who love the Lord

~ Excited kids coming home from AWANA

~ Children growing in the Lord

~ Family prayer that binds hearts in Him

~ Excited children floating boats in the flood left by dreary spring rain

~ Listening with my daughter Mary to an excellent American Girl audiobook about Josefina 

~ Kid creations all around me

Hospital Appointment

Tuesday we were back at the hospital for Beth's fourth infusion of Orencia, a juvenile rheumatoid arthritis drug. She dreads the IV experience slightly less now, but she still cried. The nurses are very nice and one of them is talkative, who also has a six-year-old daughter. Maybe I'll be able to share the reason for my Hope with her one of these months. 

What I'm Learning About Life and Our Comfort

I do the best as a mom, and as a daughter of the King, when I remember it isn't about whether life feels easy or hard or exhausting, or whether a day holds hope or despair. Transcending today's difficulties and rejoicing in the Lord always means stepping above the earth emotionally and spiritually, remembering that the Lord's concern is for souls, not for my daily ease of living. 

He can allow my daughter to have an aggressive arthritis and my son to have a debilitating OCD, and my other daughter to have crippling anxiety over thunder and lightening and tornadoes...he can allow it all knowing His grace is sufficient for me, for his power is made perfect in weakness. And me? I have to remember to boast all the more loudly about my weaknesses, so God's power can rest on me.

2 Corinthians 4:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Boasting About Our Weaknesses

So here's my boast: This week was hard and Mary cried over thunder and kept her fingers in her ears for hours so she wouldn't hear more of it. She couldn't concentrate on school and I ran out of ideas to help her. So, exhausted, I held her in my arms and we listened to an American Girl audiobook for a few hours straight. I seriously didn't know what else to do. We loved the Josefina stories and I found myself crying several times. We both felt sorry when the stories ended.

No, we didn't get through her regular subjects, but she learned a lot about Hispanic culture in 1824, before New Mexico became a US territory. She learned about how hard children had to work to help with daily living chores on a ranchero, and she learned that many couldn't read or write. It was a day of immersion into another culture, and afterwards, the sky looking better, Mary perked up and she and Beth pretended to do chores like knitting and baking and sweeping on a ranchero.

God Orders Our Days

I had been feeling so discouraged by the amount of time the children's anxiety disorders and health issues were stealing from us, and then I remembered that each day unfolds as God wants it to, and that my daily concerns are not the same as His. Does he care if we don't finish our curriculum on time? He has secured my children's futures and I'm a mere instrument of His. 

Armed with new faith, I told my son Peter that I was absolutely sure God would take him down a path of healing and that his OCD would not be this debilitating forever. Several hours later he told me that I'd encouraged him so much, and that it had been easier to resist his rituals because of what I said. Yes, Christ's power is made perfect in weakness.

Paul's AWANA Homework

Paul had to write a salvation message for his AWANA homework, using four different verses. I loved what he wrote. He read it to me on the way to AWANA and I immediately started crying, remembering how lost I was at his same age, and giving thanks to God that my children know Him intimately and are armed to change the world for Christ, anxiety disorders and all.

The Good News by Paul

Everybody sins and the punishment is eternal suffering. That is why Jesus was born here. Jesus is the Son of God, and was born here as a baby. Even though Jesus never did anything wrong, he died on a cross. Luke 23:46 Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit." When he had said this, he breathed his last.

And three days later, Jesus rose from the dead! Jesus' death on the cross is the way to heaven. This is in Titus 3:5-7 He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Now to become a Christian you must do three things:

1. Admit that you've sinned. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.

2. Believe in the Lord Jesus. Acts 16:31 They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved--you and your household."

3. Confess your sins. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

That is how to become a Christian.

I drove the rest of the way to AWANA in joy, knowing the Lord is doing a good work in my children. It hadn't been an easy day, but this was the grace, this little essay, that reminded me of God's love and faithfulness. I had so many concerns regarding my children, but all my concerns were needless. Right in front of me, the Lord is blessing them with a spiritual knowledge and hope. So often I feel responsible for their futures, but needlessly. God is raising them up, not me. I just need to stay out of the way!

I gave the girls an egg carton and they have caterpillars in the works, waiting to be painted.

Mary, who doesn't really play with Barbies, but only dresses them occasionally, made this pink dress for one of them.

Beth makes dolls all the live long day, outside of her school assignments. We see fabric and shapes and figures, and looking at the same things, she sees a doll or stuffy waiting to be made.

 I had Mary review many of the All About Reading 2 stories, and with this /ou/ /ow/ lesson, she finished the curriculum and moves on now to All About Reading 3.

I'm pleased with Beth's Kindergarten progress, even though appointments and disorders have meant that she doesn't get a reading lesson daily. She's a good student and concentrates better all the time.

Computer Programming with Khan Academy

Paul, along with the usual subjects, has spent a lot of time on Khan Academy this week doing computer programming. He's over the moon excited about it, which puzzles me because as I look at it, I can't imagine anything more boring or tedious. My mind just doesn't work like Paul's, but I'm so pleased that he's excited and he excels at it. He's interested in writing homeschool curriculum some day, so now when he does a Teaching Textbooks math lesson, he's thinking about the computer programming the two brothers had to do to design such a complicated math curriculum. The Teaching Textbooks brothers are most likely Christian, judging by many of the math questions, but I'm not sure. They were homeschooled.

Planning a Garden

Peter, along with the usual school, has busied himself continuing to plan his garden and agonize about what date our last frost will be. He's researched and considered and changed his mind four times about when he will first plant cold weather crops outside. OCD is primarily a disorder characterized by a preoccupation with certainty. The brain glitch makes the person pursue certainty to a ridiculous extent--to an impossible extent that keeps them on a hamster wheel going no where fast. It's maddening for all involved. The key to getting better is learning to live with uncertainty.

What I'm Learning About OCD

I read a good deal in an OCD book this week and learned about a mother who, from the time her daughter was born, worried constantly for her daughter's safety. She never let her out of her sight and took great pains to keep her from harm. This severe OCD preoccupation with her daughter's safety continued into the daughter's adulthood, after which the daughter continued to live with her mother because to be out of her mother's sight for long was too stressful, due to her mother's OCD rituals to "ensure" her safety. The mother called the daughter constantly when she was at school or at work to check on her safety, and if the daughter didn't answer, the mother would drive to the workplace or school and check on her. It was awful and it was ruining their relationship. The mother had lost years of precious time with her daughter, all because of OCD, which wouldn't allow her to relax and just enjoy being a mother, proudly watching a daughter grow.

The mother finally ended up at the right counselor's office. He told her that to get well she had to accept uncertainty regarding her daughter's well being--that someday we all die and we don't know when that will be. She couldn't ever be sure her daughter would be alive the next day. At first the mother said no, she couldn't accept that kind of uncertainty. But bravely, she stayed in treatment and got well, and her relationship with her daughter repaired. It was a happy, healthy one.

OCD is a torturous, horrible disorder that belongs in the pit of hell.

My son Peter goes over and over in his mind about whether God wants him to go to Uganda to help the farmers there, or own a nursery and greenhouse and somehow serve the Lord in America. He wants to serve the Lord, but he just can't be exactly sure which path God wants him to take. Never mind that he doesn't need to have this figured out at 13 years old. It doesn't matter. He ruminates all day and drives everyone crazy, asking my opinion about what God wants for his life (we can't get involved with reassuring him because it makes the OCD worse).

It's like a hamster wheel he can't seem to get off of, and regarding his salvation, it's the same thing. He ruminates about whether he really is a Christian and really is going to heaven. These are very common OCD obsessions and they'll drive even the sanest person in the sufferer's life absolutely batty. No amount of counseling will help until the sufferer says...yes, I'm ready to accept and embrace uncertainty. That is step one and it's not a decision Peter has made in the affirmative yet, despite his agitated state.

So, I keep reading and I keep informing him about the way out of his conundrums. And I wait on the Lord, because I just know my gracious Heavenly Father will take Peter down a healing path, for His glory. One thing is for sure: My son loves the Lord. His answers in his AWANA book this week, which for Trek Club is more like a Bible study book, brought me to tears (yes, I'm teary a lot these days). He's a boy after the Lord's own heart, who just needs courage and a healing touch.

How was your week, friends? Thank you for reading here!

Nourishing Your Family Series: Honey

As I learn about nutritional information I'll be sharing it here periodically, as part of a Nourishing Your Family Series. Today, we learn about honey, which is a nutritious, medicinally beneficial food.

Here are some of the health benefits, as detailed here:

Naturally Suppresses Coughs

If you're stuck with a cough that won't go away, studies show that honey works as well as or better than many over-the-counter cough syrups in soothing it. Honey's thick consistency coats your throat and the sweet taste is thought to trigger certain nerves that make your throat less sensitive to the cough impulse.

Soothes Burns 

Applying a thin layer of honey to a minor burn can help quell the stinging sensation and have an anti-inflammatory effect. The antibacterial qualities of honey may also prevent the burn from becoming infected, which could result in a quicker healing time.

Aids Sleep

One of the many soothing properties of raw honey is its ability to help provide sleep relief. Honey may help facilitate the action of tryptophan, which helps make people sleepy. Plus, if you are suffering from a cough that keeps you up at night, a teaspoon of honey could help soothe your throat while you sleep.

Helps Heal Wounds

Applying a thin layer of raw honey to a minor wound may actually help sterilize the cut and help it heal more smoothly, with less scabbing. The application of honey to the site of the wound will help keep it moist, and exposure to oxygen helps to activate an enzyme in honey that forms hydrogen peroxide, which has anti-bacterial capabilities. Gently apply with a cotton swab, and cover with a Band-Aid. However, honey is only appropriate for minor cuts that you would otherwise simply apply antibiotic ointment to – any deep cuts or cuts that appear infected should be evaluated by a medical professional.

Boosts Immunity

The phytonutrients in raw honey have antibacterial and antiviral properties that may help boost your immune system and fight sickness. If you're feeling a little under the weather, try making a "Hot Ozzy" by combining 1 tablespoon of honey and 2 teaspoons of lemon juice in a 1/2 cup of hot, but not boiling, water.

Beneficial for Seasonal Allergy Sufferers? 

Honey is also beneficial as a sort of "allergy shot" for allergy sufferers (slowly desensitizing you to the pollen), especially when you use local honey. However, you have no way of knowing how much pollen is in each jar of honey, so use it for these purposes cautiously, as too much pollen could lead to an allergic-shock reaction. Some medical professionals recommend, in fact, that allergy sufferers not ingest raw honey. 

My aunt and uncle and their children all use local honey to fight allergies, and they've never had any problem. We've purchased 3 large jars of raw honey and also haven't had problems. My recommendation is that each time you buy a new local jar, use it in minuscule amounts to test your reaction to the pollen count, and have Benadryl handy in case you overreact.

If all these benefits impress you, let me first warn you that you won't enjoy them if you buy supermarket honey, unless it is labeled "raw honey". It will be expensive--possibly as much as $10 for 35 ounces--but it will definitely nourish your family as God intended (just don't give it to children younger than a year, or to cancer patients undergoing aggressive chemotherapy).

Supermarket honey is to be avoided. The Huffington Post details why here.

I like honey for the taste, sure, but I also love the fact that, unlike refined sugar, honey -- provided it hasn't been subjected to high temperatures during processing -- is infused with all sorts of good things like vitamins and minerals, antioxidants and living enzymes. Honey also has a lower glycemic index, hence it has a more gradual and healthier release into the bloodstream than sugar. Moreover, it has antimicrobial properties, and has even been used to treat diabetic ulcers and certain antibiotic resistant infections. 

Finally, I love honey because I am a great fan of the industrious and beneficent bees that make it. Or do they?

That is the question raised in an eye-opening new study published by Food Safety News. The group's food scientists say that over three quarters of the honey sold in American supermarkets and drug stores may not be what the bees created, but a watered down, reconstituted hodge-podge of the real deal mixed with other cheaper, less savory, and often less safe, ingredients.

The problem, according to the Food Safety News report, is that there is no way to tell if honey is really honey except by looking through a microscope at the pollen grains embedded in it. And these highly nutritious grains are frequently filtered out of the final product leaving no way to determine whether it is really honey, or a highly processed syrup which bears that name.

It is for this reason that U.S. Food and Drug Administration rules state that any product that contains no pollen cannot be called honey. But the understaffed FDA isn't checking. So the Food Safety News sent 60 jars, jugs and plastic bears of store-bought honey to Vaughn Bryant, a professor at Texas A&M University, the director of the schools Palynology Research Laboratory. 

Bryant's results were astonishing: virtually all drug store honey and small individually packaged honey served up in fast food outlets does not contain pollen, and 76 percent of the amber stuff sold in America's leading supermarket chains is likewise devoid of this telltale evidence of its origins, and therefore does not qualify as honey by the FDA's own standards. On the other hand, all of the samples bought at farmers markets, coops and health food stores were infused with the traces of pollen that proved it was real.

Commercial honey manufactures say that they ultra-filter it because shoppers want honey that is crystal clear and devoid of impurities. But there are other reasons the pollen gets removed, including the desire to conceal where it comes from, and lace it with cheap additives. Since pollen's source is local blossoms, the type of pollens found in honey tells botanists where the honey originated, and whether it is authentic.

"It's no secret to anyone in the business that the only reason all the pollen is filtered out is to hide where it initially came from and the fact is that in almost all cases, that is China," says Richard Adee, the Washington Legislative Chairman of the American Honey Producers Association, and one of America's largest independent honey producers.

Not only is low cost Chinese honey forcing many American bee-keepers out of business, but the unregulated liquid is often heavily adulterated with high fructose corn syrup and other sweeteners, as well as being tainted with chloramphenicol, heavy-metal toxins and a witches brew of agro-chemicals, including some illegal animal antibiotics, which are fatal to a small percentage of the population.

In 2001, the U.S. imposed high tariffs on Chinese honey to prevent the dubious syrup from flooding our market. Chinese producers responded by illegally transshipping their product to other countries, such as India, where the laundered "honey" is then sent to the U.S.  Few American distributors put their product through the costly lab tests which could determine if it is contaminated. 

In 2010 the European Union effectively banned much of the transshipped Chinese honey from their market. But U.S. officials have not yet followed suit. More than half of the honey consumed in the U.S. is from unknown foreign sources. In an effort unveiled at the 2011 North American Beekeeping Conference in Galveston in January, a group called True Source Honey announced a voluntary certification program for producers and distributors who are able to prove that their honey comes from legal and legitimate sources. They are also lobbying the FDA to take more effective measures in strictly defining honey and regulating its sale.

Until that happens, better to stick with certified organic and raw honey, which is likely to be closer to what the bees have so generously provided us.

Does your family enjoy raw honey? You can look for local honey sources by visiting farmer's markets or health food stores, or just searching the Internet for sources in your county.

Weekly Homeschool & Life Wrap-up 4/3

I'm starting this week's wrap-up with gratitude. Most of all, I'm so very thankful that He is Risen, and he calls me his daughter. Thank you, Jesus!

I think it was Ann Voskamp who coined the phrase "hard hallelujah". It means giving thanks for something that has added pain or discomfort to our lives. In offering these affairs up with our joyful hallelujahs, we in a sense put them at the foot of the cross, to both be healed and bring glory to God.

It's also a discipline, an obedience, because God commands us in Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Some hard hallelujahs:

~ This picture, taken yesterday, represents the weather and the morning mood around here for some. I had considerable difficulty getting through Mary's reading lesson because of this gray sky and the 40% chance of thunder and lightening. I was kind, but after reminding her of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness, and pointing out all the blessings we enjoy from the rain, I firmly told her she couldn't stop doing her schoolwork every time the sky looked gray--which in Ohio is frequently, although it ain't exactly England. The saying around Northeast Ohio is that if you don't like the weather, wait an hour. It changes frequently.

~ Paul has been having somewhat frequent skin infections, despite daily showers and my use of ointment on cuts. He cut his lip outside two days ago and today it has signs of infection. Because of the frequency of his infections--all of which clear up with a prescription ointment and frequent bandage changes--in the back of my mind I can't shake the thought of diabetes type 1, which is auto-immune. While it is rare for a second child/sibling is get the same autoimmune disease, it is less rare for a sibling to get a different autoimmune disease. If you have the marker in your genes for autoimmunity--and my kids obviously do, or have the potential to, considering their sister's autoimmune arthritis--then you could at some point in life develop one of the many autoimmune disorders.

Type 1 diabetes is not a hereditary disease like type 2, but genes play a part in autoimmune disorders, as they did in Beth's juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I have two aunts and at least one cousin with autoimmune disorders. It is thought that the genetic potential, along with acquiring a virus to trigger the autoimmune response in your cells, are what precede the development of autoimmune diseases.

Moreover, it's common that your relatives may have a different autoimmune disorder than you end up with. One aunt may have MS, another aunt fibromyalgia, and then you could get type 1 diabetes, or juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, for example. And it's common that autoimmune disorders come in twos in a single person.

It isn't just your typical cold virus that triggers the autoimmune response, but more the pain-in-the-arse viruses, like coxsackievirus B, cytomegalovirus, adenovirus, rubella, and mumps.

Paul's BMI is only a 15, so he's at the border for being underweight--barely reaching the fifth percentile for BMI, although he's eating well. He's also more thirsty than my other children, and needs to snack more frequently. This disease develops slowly, but when all of a certain cell has been destroyed in the body, the symptoms seem to come on abruptly, giving the illusion that the onset was sudden.

This has been on my mind for several months, and it's time to schedule a physical for him and just ask for the simple blood glucose test to put these thoughts to rest. None of my other children have dealt with infected cuts or wounds or mosquito bites. and none of the others have had trouble gaining weight to keep up with their heights, except for a period of low weight for Beth, because of her disease. She is now at a healthy weight.

So, the knot in my stomach formed with Mary's tears and Paul's issue, and my mind wandered to the long, long, spring, summer and early fall we would experience if Mary's storm anxiety doesn't improve, and if Paul gets more skin infections.

The Lord reminded me...if you find your children's behavior stressful, wait an hour. It changes frequently.

And yes, it did. We got through Mary's reading lesson and she perked up and calmed down. I find, though, that my stress level doesn't calm down as soon as their moods do. There is a lingering effect that exhausts me, which is my problem to give to the Lord. The answer almost always is to count my blessings.

Easy Hallelujahs

~ Beautiful kids growing in the Lord

~ The Risen Lord to celebrate and give thanks for

~ Peter began a new OCD medicine earlier this week, and it began giving him relief within two days...Praise the Lord. Could be the placebo effect; I'll know more soon. The Prozac had stopped working after nearly three years, and so he now uses Zoloft, as recommended by the International OCD Foundation. It works on the serotonin balance so the brain's anxiety response calms down, and the patient can work on the therapy techniques being taught. Without medicine, many sufferers find the thoughts and the anxiety they cause are just so strong, they can't employ therapy techniques.

~ I encouraged Mary to go outside and face her storm anxiety (it was just lightly raining). She promptly found a frog to befriend, which cheered her up considerably and reminded her that God loves her and delights in blessing her. She was rewarded for facing her fears.

~ The bread baking is going well and is blessing my family.

~ Beth was supposed to have her eye surgery yesterday, but the cold she caught required a postponement. I list this as a blessing because I had prayed that the doctor would be at his absolute best on the morning of her surgery, which probably wasn't going to be the case and God knew that.

~ Paul loves Kahn Academy and is proving he's quite the self-directed learner. He's the best kind of student for unschooling, which I think works best with kids who don't need to be systematically taught. It isn't really Mom's philosophy which should dictate homeschooling methods, but more the kids' individual learning profiles. Paul has basically taught himself for years (using Sonlight and library books) and in doing so he's been able to work a couple years ahead of his grade level. That would never work for others in this house, though this week, because the kids were sick, I let them concentrate mostly on their interests and their library picks, since the usual stuff is harder to get through when you're a bit under the weather.

~ I love being with my kids, despite the difficult issues.

~ Peter is working very hard in planning his garden, and I've noticed that his ability to plan, organize and prioritize are being sharpened by the process. Gardeners are either planting or planning, all year long. It is detailed work, Peter is finding.

Update on bread making:

The instant yeast, also known as bread machine yeast, has yielded great loaves for us this week. I continue to bake one loaf a day, using the bread machine on just the dough cycle, which mixes it, kneads it, and lets it rise once. I then punch it down, get the air out, and shape it, put it in a sandwich loaf pan, and let it rise another 45 minutes to an hour. It then bakes 26 to 30 minutes, depending on the flour. White albino whole wheat takes 26 minutes, but regular whole wheat needs 30 minutes.

Halfway through the week I switched from albino white whole wheat to regular whole wheat, and found that the dough was stickier and needed another two T flour, and that the baking time increased by 4 minutes too. 

I am learning not to over rise the bread. It is supposed to be one inch over the pan measured at the highest point of the loaf. You are supposed to use your finger, from the tip to the first knuckle. The above picture is just about right, maybe a tad over, but the picture below is definitely over-risen, as you can tell by that stretched look. 

This was the best loaf and quite delicious. Once this week the bread had a hole in it, kind of like a cave. I learned that this can occur if you don't punch out all the air holes after the first rise. It's a good idea to use a rolling pin to go over it before shaping it.

I also learned that my water should be between 95 to 115 degrees for the best results (I started using a thermometer). If some of your ingredients are kept in the fridge, then the higher end water temp is better. The final dough product temperature is important, to ensure the yeast will work and you'll get the rise you need. I keep the flax seed, the vital wheat gluten, and the yeast in the fridge (as specified on the packages), so the warmer water ensures my final dough product is warm enough.

Last weekend the kids woke up to their Easter buckets. For the first time, they got socks and underwear, colored pencils and pads, and less candy. We give the buckets a week early so as not to associate Easter too much with bunnies and eggs and presents. We'll color eggs today, however, because the weather is the best for an outside hunt this afternoon.

We did do reading lessons this week. Mary learned about the uses of /aw/ and /au/, and the boys are reviewing the same thing in spelling. The yellow cards are the phonogram cards, and on the back is what the children need to memorize about the sound. For example, the back of this card states that /aw/ may be used at the end of English words (or in the middle). /Au/, in contrast, can't be used at the end of words because English words cannot end in a "u"

Peter did a lot of baking these last two weeks. Here are his cheese/whole wheat crackers. They were too rich and most of the kids couldn't eat them, but it was a valient effort. He also tried rolls but they didn't rise properly. He will try those again soon. Paul made pumpkin muffins, which all enjoyed.

Peter used his time to spot read several library books about Ohio gardening. He keeps notes about each type of plant and is keeping a calendar to help him remember when to plant which seeds. It has taken him time to become this organized, and I am very proud of him. This is where project learning really benefits kids. They learn to solve problems and prioritize and organize, and pace themselves as well. The goal is highly motivating for him, so he's working through the executive function issues caused by his ADHD.

I am finding that if I give them days to pursue their interests, or just enjoy their library picks, then we actually save money on curriculum because our curriculum will then last longer than a year, and the delight directed learning days help round out their education and their skills. The switch from curriculum days to library material days, or delight-learning days, does not seem to bother them because I keep a structure in place. Without that structure, things fall apart quickly around here.

Paul is determined to study each president of the United States, and the politics surrounding their presidencies, and on library days he goes full throttle with this. Often, too, he does it after school or on weekends. He studies geography too, using various library resources.

Paul and both my girls wanted me to buy them more fabric, put I'd already spent my limit on school supplies, so when I went through the spring and summer clothes this week, I gave them some pieces to work with that weren't good looking enough to give away, but still plenty nice for sewing. They were absolutely thrilled and Mary said, "This is the best day ever!" Mary and Paul taught Beth to use a needle without poking herself, so she can do simple things now. Paul helps her cut the fabric. She makes stuffed dolls and now, between the three of them, I can't keep cotton balls in the house.

It warms my heart to see them relaxing and working together this way, while I'm off washing and drying their clothes and making their meals and their daily bread. Paul is such a blessing to me and he loves the interaction with his siblings.

Peter does very little sewing and prefers his gardening passion, and more recently too, composting.

Threading a needle.

That's our week, with its numerous joys and its low points as well, emotionally and physically. Life is beautiful, full, and if you don't like it one hour, wait an hour. Things will look brighter, thanks to our Heavenly Father, who is full of grace and loves blessing us!

Happy Easter!

Coming to Terms With My Ugly Face

My hair, inherited from my father? Thin and lifeless.

My eyes, also from my father? Hazel--and not an outstanding hazel.

My acne, starting at age 12 and not improving until I nursed my first baby? Well, inherited from my mother, it aged me very young and made for a painful teen and twenties era. I still get some acne, but not enough to cause despair.

And now, at 49, my eyes have developed red streaks from wearing the same pair of extended-wear contacts too long, before obtaining an eye appointment and buying new ones. For the first time since the seventh grade, I had to buy a pair of glasses for my nearly-legally blind prescription. Before, I always refused to order a pair, due to the extra cost beyond the contacts, and because I knew they would be thick and ugly.

But recently, an optician convinced me to order a back-up pair of glasses for when my eyes needed a break from contacts, or for when we ran out of money and couldn't order new contacts on time. He said the glasses would include a built-in bifocal to serve as the reading glasses I now use over my contacts.

He also said, "Oh, don't worry. New technology means they won't be as thick as you think."

My husband picked the glasses up yesterday and I ran and took my loaner lenses out of my eyes, which hadn't improved the ugly red blood vessels very much. Because of the red, irritated appearance of my eyes, the doctor requested I go back to be rechecked before he would give me a contact-lens prescription.

Making a mental drum-roll, I put the glasses on, eager for a solution to my oxygen-craving eyes.

Ugly, ugly, ugly. No doubt about it...ugly.

I wanted to cry. My eyes looked miniscule because of the magnification, and my face was distorted through my glasses. And since I hadn't worn glasses (except reading glasses) since the seventh grade, everything was strange. My children's clothes when I pulled them out of the dryer looked really small. I couldn't tell Mary's clothes from Beth's, or Peter's clothes from Paul's, except from memory. When I perused the cupboard for a can of diced tomatoes, I kept thinking I was looking at tiny tomato paste cans instead of 15-oz cans. Anything circular was distorted.

And to read on the computer, I have to cock up my neck to benefit from the bifocals.

I went on with my mothering duties and tried to forget about my ever-increasing ugliness. I knew my family was, though loving, still dismayed at Mommy's new appearance. I knew my ever-increasing white hairs made everything worse, as did the ever-increasing wrinkles on my 49-year-old face.

When I was living in Sicily at age 12, I liked to walk around our military-housing neighborhood, located on a cliff above the beautiful Mediterranean Sea. A friend from school always walked with me, and still, I vividly remember the time we ran into an Italian teen. He said to my friend after looking me up and down: "She has a good body but an ugly face."  I didn't get the Italian words at the time, but she did and she repeated them to me.

At 49 my body doesn't look too terribly awful, but I won't be posing in it the way Cindy Crawford trustingly did.

But my face? Worse than ever.

What is a woman to do? Before children, I used to buy nice clothes to offset my bad points, but now I can only hope for a few good pieces from Goodwill, and they don't help much.

I was forced to go to Scripture and to my Savior in all things, to process my feelings. There was no salve, no help, no comfort from the world. Coloring hair is expensive. Plastic surgery to fix acne scars is expensive, and laser surgery for nearsightedness is expensive. Even if I had the money I would give more to Compassion and sponsor another child instead of considering these options.

God loves me. He even loves my ugly-to-the-world face. My husband loves me. My children love me. I get to minister to and love them all, and serve them in many ways. I get to. My life is rich. My heart is rich.

Anything that leads to greater humility? It is a gift. And more than that, God does not make mistakes. He loves my face and my hair and my -8.0 nearsighted eyes. And if He loves all of it? If He has ordained it for me? I must love it, too.

Psalm 139:13-14 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

1 John 3:1 "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.

1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

James 4:6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”