Pray Without Ceasing - It's Not Impossible

In this post I wrote about God's work in my life regarding the management of stress. Specifically, what God is teaching me is to pray first whenever a difficulty arrives, rather than responding with bodily stress that raises my blood pressure and changes my mood, all because I'm trying to deal with the difficulty in my own strength.

Over a full day these stress responses wear me out emotionally and keep me from mothering the way I want to, especially at the end of the day.

In response to that post, a reader wrote: "I have been working on praying first instead of stressing. I cannot believe all the testimonies I have experienced already! The only problem is I still struggle to do it. Why?":)

Well...I might have an answer to that. I've thought about it a lot these last couple weeks.

When I was nursing Beth I had an active prayer life (she nursed 4.5 years total). Three months after she was born my husband lost his job, bringing a great deal of stress in my life. Before long I was praying each time I nursed and even after the intensity of that time passed, my mind kept associating nursing with prayer time. It became automatic and the connection in my mind lasted for the full length of our nursing relationship.

Beth slowly weaned herself over several months so that by June, 2013, she was barely asking to nurse at all. After a three-week break she did ask to nurse suddenly, but the milk diminished enough that she wasn't getting much for her effort. She asked a few more times and then stopped asking altogether, with nary a complaint.
  
It happened so slowly that it didn't dawn on me right away. The less she nursed, the fewer prayer sessions I enjoyed. See, the nursing sessions were a fixed prayer time for me.

Now that she's weaned, I've had to ask myself the same question you see posted above: "The only problem is I still struggle to do it? Why?"

I can answer this only for myself, but maybe it will help some of you too. In my life it took a fixed prayer time to focus my mind and heart on prayer, so that over time fellowshipping with God became more automatic--less an act of my will. And because I was conversing so often with him, it spilled over into other times of the day. My mind was in tune with God--used to talking with him. It became a habit.

When we sit down for a once-a-day quiet time that's an act of our will. It's wonderful and obedient. But the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. How do we make the transition from praying at our quiet time and before our meals, to praying without ceasing?

1 Thessolonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.…

Developing a prayer habit is the answer. Experts say it takes 21 consecutive days for an act of our will to become a habit. Our minds are too quick to roll through life without thought of God, but a fixed, recurring reminder would solve that dilemma. I believe this is what God is referring to when he instructed us to pray without ceasing. He's saying: Form a habit of putting me first...of making me your first love.

Luke 10:27 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind..."

We begin to love him with all our hearts after we've formed a habit of conversing with Him throughout the day.

What did it take to fall in love with our husbands way back when? We formed a habit of talking on the phone and getting together for fellowship. Gradually, we shared more and more without fear until eventually we had to get married. Being apart wasn't feasible anymore.

That is what God wants from our hearts. That they would be so in tune with his, that being apart becomes unfeasible.

We each need to find something in our lives that will function as a fixed prayer time, whether it's washing dishes the long way three times a day, or doing laundry or preparing meals. Something.

Changing a diaper, maybe?

If nothing else we can set the oven timer three or four times a day, to remind us to pause the regular daily programming and stop for prayer. Our children can participate too, either privately or with the family unit.

Gradually, the prayer relationship will solidify and spill over into other times of the day. We'll respond to difficult situations first with prayer, because prayer will become part of who we are. We'll become a prayer warrior.

Daily Christian life is a battleground; Satan's always ready to fight for our hearts. Our best defense is offense and prayer is that offense.

I believe there really is a way to pray without ceasing. It won't happen overnight and at first it will be an act of our will, but the Holy Spirit will meet us far more than halfway. He will make us succeed if our hearts are sincere.

The work of grace that started when we first believed will prevail.

Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

What reminds you to pray throughout the day?

Cross references:

1. Philippians 1:6 : Ps 138:8
2. Philippians 1:6 : ver 10; S 1Co 1:8

How Homeschoolers Measure Up (A History of Amer. Education)

I found this graphic on Smockity Frocks and went to the source to see if I could use it here. They invite anyone to use it on their site, so hurrah! I found the history portion very interesting.

It was not surprising to read that on average, homeschooled students score in the 87% of standardized tests, and this score remained steady regardless of the families' yearly income, or education level of the parents. Anyone can homeschool well. Parental motivation is very high and the education is tailored to fit each child. Also, since children are not preoccupied with negative peer pressure or bullying, they're free to pursue keen interests and develop to their full capacity--intellectually, spiritually, morally, socially.

The chart states that the average homeschooling family spends $500 per child, and the average cost of public school is $9,963 per year. I have four children but I don't spend $2000 per year. If you buy used curriculum, you will spend a fourth to a third of the original prices. And remember, you'll save your purchases for younger children to grow into. Only consumables and sometimes DVD ROM's have to be purchased new.

Source: TopMastersInEducation.com

Homeschool and Mother's Journal

In my life this week:

I'm cleaning out closets and cupboards, preparing for my mother's visit and for my 90-year-old father-in-law's eventual move in here. He's in rehab after a fall that injured his shoulder. He lost overall strength and stamina and can't stand up on his own right now, but when he's strong enough to take a van ride from Florida to Ohio, my husband will pick him up.

Some friends will work on selling his house. His neighbor is considering buying it for her own elderly parents. Real Estate is moving slowly in his area (outside of Tampa a few miles from the Gulf), so the neighbor's interest is God's provision.

While my plan was only to clean and straighten closets and cupboards, the hamster's Friday night escape prompted deep cleaning under beds and furniture as well. This will be one clean house and hopefully hammy will show up or leave telltale signs of his hiding place (before he chews wiring and cords).

While I type, I'm listening for hamstery sounds.

After this, his second escape, he gets our large, escape-proof aquarium for a new home. No more handy dandy hamster cages that can't outsmart the rodents they house.

I'm also going through our hundreds of paperback picture books, deciding what to give away. There were far too many and they're so crowded in the shelves the girls don't reach for them; they reach for library books instead.

In our homeschool this week:

We schooled until August and have 4.5 weeks of vacation left. The boys still have to read for 45 minutes a day and read their Bibles, and Paul still plays the piano.

I also started the boys on The Message this week by Eugene Peterson. It's not the same as reading the Bible, but it's an excellent devotional for middle-grades children. I want all my children to read it at least once.

The girls and I are reading Mrs. Piggle Wiggle and some picture books, and I'm listening to Mary read easy readers so she won't lose ground in reading.

Homeschooling Tips or Advice to Share:

Do some deep cleaning and purging of clutter before school starts so the state of the house won't distract you and sabotage your homeschool consistency. I believe consistency is the most important predictor of success for homeschooling families.

My Favorite Thing This Week:

I've worked so physically hard this week that I'm straining to come up with a favorite--it wasn't exactly a fun week. Knowing how nice and trim our home will look when I'm done is what keeps me going.

I do remember the children charming the socks off a man at the post office and vice versa. He joked with them freely and they all giggled and giggled. When we got back in the van Miss Beth said she wanted to marry Tom (who was about 50ish). We know his name because Miss Beth introduced herself and her sibilings, and then Tom said, "Well, it's nice to meet you Beth. My name is Tom."

Then later when they were describing Tom's antics to Daddy, the boys referred to him as "a guy at the post office", to which Mary took offense. She said, "His name was Tom!"

My Kids' Favorite Thing This Week:

They schemed up a game in which they auction off rocks & pebbles, pretending they're precious stones. I gave them all the loose change I could find and they had a wonderful time playing this with a neighbor boy for a couple days. My four year old has been scouring drawers and cushions for more loose change.

Things I'm working on:
I'm working on praying about difficulties when they first hit the scene, instead of stressing first, praying second. Emotional energy drains out of me liberally when I forget to pray first. But when I give it to God, he's faithful to guide my steps and keep my mood steady and positive.

I never used to think about my emotional energy in terms of conservation techniques. The extent of my exhaustion and crankiness at the end of the day is directly related to how my body responded to discipline problems, everyday messes, and whatever else landed on my plate. The events were not the problem--my response was.

I can choose to kneel and pray and conserve (and even renew!) my strength, so that even at the last moments of the day, when I'm praying with kneeling children, I'm doing it with my whole heart, not wishing for everyone to fall asleep already because I. can't. take. another. second.

I want to finish well. Start well and finish well.

I'm also working on teaching the children the power of our words. Words do have power--to destroy or to build up. At the dinner table we say three nice things about the person sitting across from us, and the next day to the person at our right, and the next day to the peron at our left. We do the same thing after there's an argument--exchanging three positive and specific things we like about our housemate. By specific I mean they can't just say their sibling is nice--they have to describe what makes them nice.

I'm Grateful For:
My Jesus, my marriage, my four blessings, for being a keeper at home, for having the opportunity to bless my father-in-law and care for him in his lasts months and years, escorting him to the throne of grace from my home, not an impersonal nursing home where scripture is not read and love is not practiced.

I'm praying for...:

...family, friends, church, my own heart growth, my growth as a keeper of the home, my children's someday-spouses and marriages, sibling relations, neighborhood families, upcoming visits and changes to our daily life.

Quotes to Share:

The impression that a praying mother leaves upon her children is life-long. Perhaps when you are dead and gone your prayer will be answered. D.L. Moody

The mother's heart is the child's classroom. Henry Ward Beecher


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When Motherhood Feels Like Endless Work

Does the state of your closets and cupboards make you feel like a failure?

Mine do.

My mother is coming to visit and all my closets and cupboards are a wreck. And my father-in-law will be living with us soon, too. I need to make room for whatever he might bring, and yet we have no garage or basement and the shed, which is good-sized, just might still have mice so we only use it for the lawnmower, lawn tools and bikes.

I worked on two closets today...the worst two. They look great now but I have to decide what to give away and what to keep. Should I keep a second shower curtain on hand, or not? Should I save the kids' old comforters for really cold nights, as extra padding?

What is hoarding, exactly? Is it thinking you might use something someday, even though tomorrow hasn't been written yet? What about when the kids move out and I want different coverings on the beds? Shouldn't I save something to use then, or is that hoarding?  Should I trust God to provide guest-bed type coverings when the nest is empty?

Sorting through clutter is hard work and the temporary mess that results is stressful with curious kids getting into the piles, pleading with you to keep this and that.

And the folding of laundry. Till I reach the grave, that may remain one of my failures.

Sometimes I get so behind on folding laundry that I rent a movie from the library and we watch it as a family while I fold. Occasionally I even get help this way from hubby. During school the children help with folding but somehow that's fallen by the wayside with a school break upon us.

Tonight I did it differently. After the kids went to bed I watched Anne of Green Gables, The Sequel. I had so much folding that it took me all of one side of the DVD to finish my baskets.

At the end Anne kissed Gilbert and she said she didn't want a fancy house...just him. And I cried.

I cried for the Boston guy she rejected. I cried for her student, Emmeline, who would miss her so much.

Then I felt melancholy about Ann starting out a new life as a writer and then a wife. I want to feel that again.

Often marriage and kids feel like work. The romanticism passes away. The incredible excitement of getting engaged and having such hope for the future seems like eons away from my daily life now. I've done so much work today, for example...almost non-stop.

There's always so much work around the house, and so much work discipling my blessings. It's hard to find the time to enjoy just being with the kids.

The key to joy in the midst of very hard work is what?

I ask myself this question so often, and I work hard to answer it for myself too. And yet, the answer doesn't stay with me. Sometimes the dread of all the work feels bigger than the answer.

And then quiet time will come; God will speak his love into my heart. He will fulfill me for that hour, for that day, and suddenly I'm not thinking about the work anymore. I'm just thinking about bringing my first love, Jesus, his due glory. He loves a servant's heart and when I work without dread, when I work with a will to enjoy serving, he is glorified.

Yes, marriage and family are work. The intense joy over getting just the guy you always wanted passes away as you get dirty socks and underwear unrolled and ready for their bleaching.

Do you know that's my least favorite job? Unrolling yucky, filthy, germ-infested socks and underwear.

But everytime I pass them from the dryer to a basket, I'm amazed at the transformation. Fresh smell with all the caked-mud long gone. All the germs washed away.

When I feel melancholy about the work in my life, it's sin. When I want something more than the mundane, it's ingratitude. God knows how grateful I really am about my husband and children being here with me, sharing love and sorrow and joy and pain.

I get to be a mom and wife and I'm so excited about that, still.

Like the socks and underwear, I just need a soapy-bleachy wash to take me back to holiness.

That's what quiet time is, isn't it? A good soapy-bleachy wash? We come out white as snow, smelling so fresh, hearts ready to serve with a smile.

I love my life and my Jesus.

1 Corinthians 15:58Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

John 6:27Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.

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A Biblical View on Screen Time

On occasion I find time to read something from Simple Homeschool's Weekend Links. Last weekend I found a link entitled Screen Rules, by Elizabeth Foss of In the Heart of My Home. Elizabeth's is not a blog I read (spiritual content is far different from my faith), but this particular post title caught my eye. Screen obsession in America's young people worries and saddens me.

Elizabeth lists 12 rules she and her husband came up with to regulate the use of iPhones, iPods, computers, television, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. In the comments she admits to needing some regulation of her own screen time, and that she too, benefits from the 12 rules.

As I read it struck me, why do kids need these things at all? Why do they need hand-held computer access? Why do they need texting? Why do they need cameras with them everywhere they go? Why do they need Facebook or Twitter accounts? Or any other social media account?

Staying out of trouble is hard for teens. Period. They're hardwired for risk and danger. Nowadays it's harder for them than ever. Parents allow them too much freedom during the years they're least likely to behave responsibly.

And with social media and screen use, the mistakes can be terribly costly and long-lasting. One tragedy after another fills the newspapers, and yet, parents aren't stopping the insanity.

The 12 rules Elizabeth lists are nice on paper, but she admits herself she doesn't have time to check text messages received and sent by her children. She only warns them with the pithy comment, "You never know when I'll be in a long line and have time to check your accounts."

I like her bullet points and the focus on the heart, but I don't agree that kids should have these gadgets and accounts at all.

Why not just say no to all of this stuff, since there is absolutely no need for them in a child's life? Kids want them so they can fit in with their peers, more than anything. Is it good to encourage fitting in? It is good to buy the $60 athletic shoes a child wants but doesn't need, just because everybody has them? Is it good to give an iPhone or iPod or cell phone, just because all the kids have them?

Shouldn't we be around our kids most of the time, instead of giving them a phone to contact us? They can get into major trouble despite being a phone call away from us. Phones don't keep kids out of trouble...parental supervision and involvement do. Teens needs just as much of our time as our toddlers do.

What should our homes look like, really? Shouldn't we have a spiritual focus and family-bonding focus? If everyone is looking at a different screen, engaged with people and media outside the family, how can family bonding occur, and a strong spiritual foundation be laid?

If it's not sports and other extracurricular activities separating the family, it's screens and social media.

We're a distracted nation and our young people suffer from too little parental/family engagement. They're not grounded anymore because parents aren't focused on building a foundation in their homes. I don't mean you personally or me personally, but none of us is immune to the ways of the culture. We must regularly take stock and gauge how far the culture has taken us from a biblical worldview.

What fathers do to build a spiritual foundation is profoundly important. They're more influential than mothers alone in ensuring lasting spiritual faith in their children. Kids with both Dad and Mom involved in their spiritual growth fare the best.

What can we, as mothers, do while we dwell with our children all day?

We can build our house wisely. I love Matthew Henry's commentary on Proverbs 14:1, shown below the verse:

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down

Note, 1. A good wife is a great blessing to a family. By a fruitful wife a family is multiplied and replenished with children, and so built up. But by a prudent wife, one that is pious, industrious, and considerate, the affairs of the family are made to prosper, debts are paid, portions raised, provision made, the children well educated and maintained, and the family has comfort within doors and credit without; thus is the house built. She looks upon it as her own to take care of, though she knows it is her husband’s to bear rule in, Est. 1:22. 2. Many a family is brought to ruin by ill housewifery, as well as by ill husbandry. A foolish woman, that has no fear of God nor regard to her business, that is wilful, and wasteful, and humoursome, that indulges her ease and appetite, and is all for jaunting and feasting, cards and the play-house, though she come to a plentiful estate, and to a family beforehand, she will impoverish and waste it, and will as certainly be the ruin of her house as if she plucked it down with her hands; and the husband himself, with all his care, can scarcely prevent it.

When you read Matthew Henry's description of a wise woman, does it conjure up the image of a woman on Facebook everyday? Or needing to check a computer screen frequently? Can she build her house with a focus on posting pictures and tidbits online, or does she build it by investing her time in her children's hearts and in their education?

Be in the world but not of the world...that is the challenge. Can we pray about screen time and use it for His glory, only?

Certainly there's room for some personal time on most days, but let's face it, raising children well is time-consuming. If we're on a screen very much during the day while they're awake, how are we investing in them spiritually? Screens are addictive and they can steal the best years of our parenting away, easily. Children find them just as addictive as adults do, so why have them go down that path at all...especially before they can pay for the screens themselves?

As mothers building a home, we have to show our children that there are far sweeter things in life than screens. And that no one can be measured by likes or clicks. Our measuring stick for worth comes in the price Jesus paid for us. Our status is this: Redeemed. Deeply loved by a gracious God.

To steer our children right, to build a pious home, we have to make sure we're on the right path ourselves. I don't think the right path is one that includes a lot of screen time (especially before their bedtime).

And giving children all these gadgets and accounts? It's all a waste of their precious time...time they desperately need to grow closer to God and their family.

We as mothers need to get out of bed everyday with the goal of building a home Jesus would smile upon. We would do well to gather our children and teach them, just as this Deuteronomy verse says: You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You should write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.“You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.“You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.“You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

If social media and screens are present at all, let's give them last importance. There are so many better things to do, better things to focus on, as mothers, as children, and as families.

A wise woman uses screens sparingly, teaching her children their proper place and utility.

How have you dealt with this in your home? Do you have tips or a story to share?