Why Can't We Wait? The Marshmellow Test

Have you heard of the famous marshmellow test? Maria Konnikova, writer for The New Yorker, wrote about psychologist Walter Mischel in October, 2014, after Mischel published his first popular book at age 84: The Marshmellow Test: Mastering Self-Control.

She writes: Mischel is the creator of the marshmallow test, one of the most famous experiments in the history of psychology, which is often cited as evidence of the importance of self-control. In the original test, which was administered at the Bing Nursery School, at Stanford, in the nineteen-sixties, Mischel’s team would present a child with a treat (marshmallows were just one option) and tell her that she could either eat the one treat immediately or wait alone in the room for several minutes until the researcher returned, at which point she could have two treats. The promised treats were always visible and the child knew that all she had to do to stop the agonizing wait was ring a bell to call the experimenter back—although in that case, she wouldn’t get the second treat. The longer a child delayed gratification, Mischel found—that is, the longer she was able to wait—the better she would fare later in life at numerous measures of what we now call executive function. She would perform better academically, earn more money, and be healthier and happier. She would also be more likely to avoid a number of negative outcomes, including jail time, obesity, and drug use.

Mischel followed the preschool subjects for many years, recording their SAT scores and other measures of success, before drawing his conclusions. The initial study included a presumably elite segment of the population, made up of Stanford professors' children and Stanford graduate students' children. Arguably, the group was too homogeneous for a sound study, so he replicated it with inner city children and found the same results: children who can wait--who can delay gratification--do better in life.

Last night my husband and I packed up the flawed computer we bought. He mailed it via UPS this morning around 7:30. Around 11:45 this morning I received an email from Amazon indicating they were refunding my money, which should show up in my account within a couple days. What!? That's insane. It arrived in Kentucky from northeast Ohio...in four hours? Did they decide to refund me just from the tracking information?

Really, I love their customer service, but I could have waited until they'd unpacked it and checked it out--you know, in case I'd mailed rocks or something instead.

My point is, we're a society who doesn't know how to wait...and businesses bank on that. Amazon is widely popular partly because they're fast. Too fast, it would seem to me. We rarely had any packages get lost in the mail until we signed up for a trial of Amazon Prime, which comes with a free, two-day shipping perk. Suddenly, packages are showing "delivered" which we never received--small packages mostly. It would seem that fast shipping comes with a higher rate of human error, or we have a punk kid stealing from mailboxes around here, which seems unlikely.

As a society, why can't we wait anymore? Why can't our kids wait anymore? What does this say about Christians and our relationship with God? I'll explore that question in a minute.

It's a day off school and six-year-old Beth wants Paul to make her a small fabric doll, which he's been making as sibling presents for a couple years now. Yes, he's creative that way, though the dolls or stuffed animals look impressive mostly to a proud mother's eyes--and maybe a sibling's. He tried teaching her to sew the pieces together herself, but that resulted in tears and two needle pokes. She's whined three times today because Paul wants to do other things with his President's-Day free time--though he promised her he'd get to it later and I believe him.

Mopping the floors and tackling the folding of linens, I reminded her of the marshmellow study and asked her to come up with strategies to distract herself from her strong desire--something Momma had to do when there were peanut butter cups hidden away for Valentine's Day presents.

Gosh, if I sew or knit or read for a hobby, someone runs out of clean socks or underwear. If I read a book, it's after midnight or forget it. That leaves Paul, kind-hearted and excellent with art and handiwork, to fulfill these requests. He's also a teacher at heart.

Around 3 PM she couldn't stand the wait any longer so she took my advice. She distracted herself by making her own fabric doll with googly eyes, felt circles for buttons, yarn for hair, all with glue (and a mess left behind of course). I don't know how durable her doll will prove, but for 24 hours it will be her new best friend until another stuffy comes along to love. She even makes stuffies out of paper--drawing a picture of a girl or stuffed animal, then cutting it out and dressing it up to carry around like a precious baby. She's a hoot and I love her to pieces--though the whining grates on me.

As a parent, I've learned that to teach kids to wait we have to endure some whining. Don't negotiate or offer something of lesser value to circumvent the whining. Just grit your teeth and bear it, forcing them to come up with strategies to distract from the wait or the desire. The psychologist in the study said kids who were able to wait distracted themselves with their toes, their nasal orifices, etc. They were creative, in other words, in their attempts to keep their minds off the edible treats in front of them.

Credit card debt, two-day shipping, whining and having fits, new furniture or clothes before the old are truly too-old, needing constant Internet access, over-spending instead of saving or giving to charity, sex before marriage, divorcing instead of working on hearts...they're all symptoms of a chronic failure to wait and a sense of entitlement.

What needs are we so rushed to fill--and are they physical needs, or spiritual ones? Real or perceived?

Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I submit to you that we're too far from God as a society, and as individual Christians. and therein lies the problem. The Lord's timetable is perfect for us. He works all things for our good, all the time. If we don't feel that in our Christian souls, then we don't know our Lord intimately enough. We don't know his Word intimately enough. We're not hiding it in our hearts.

Let us not follow the world and demand what we want. 

Let us be in the world, but not of it. 

Let us teach our children that patience is a virtue worthy of our prayers and effort. 

Let us model patience and praying for patience. 

May we teach them and model for them the distinction between wants and needs. 

May we not spend more time on our stuff than we do with one another.

May our homes not be full of stuff, but full of life, love, faith, virtue, and relationships.

Psalms 27:13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Psalms 37:34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

Lamentations 3:25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Are you good at waiting? Are your children? What works to help you wait on the Lord?

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What God Wants From Us, Part 3

Note: This is a long one, but worth your time.

Today's northeast Ohio forecast? An arctic front bringing -20 wind chill...so we skipped church. In lieu of a corporate sermon I decided to read sermons at home and continue a series I started in late December:

What God Wants From Us in 2015, Part 1

What God Wants From Us in 2015, Part 2

God wants us to:

To Love Him

To Seek Him

To Serve Him 

To Trust Him

Part 1 discussed Loving God

Part 2 discussed Seeking God

Now it's time for Part 3, which is Serving God.

I must admit that when I peered into and studied John Piper's sermons and devotionals on Serving God, I was surprised, for there was nothing about working in your church, your neighborhood, or your community, or even serving the less fortunate living abroad. 

So, other than loving our families, how exactly do we serve God?

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). What does that mean?

• It means to do what he says in a way that makes him look supremely valuable in himself.

• It means to submit to him in a way that makes him look thrilling. 

God has told us not to serve him as though he needed anything.

“He is not served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything” (Acts 17:25).

“The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). 

Both these texts put all the emphasis on God’s giving to us when we serve.

So the kind of service that makes God look valuable and thrilling is the kind that serves God by constantly receiving from God. The key text to describe this is 1 Peter 4:11 —

“Whoever serves, [let it be] as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ.”

God is seen as glorious when all our serving is moment-by-moment receiving from God’s supply.

We receive this supply by faith. That is, we trust moment-by-moment that what we need, in serving him, he will supply (“life, breath, and everything”). This is the opposite of being anxious. Such serving is happy. And it makes God look no less authoritative, but infinitely more desirable. This is the glory he means to have. The giver gets the glory.

Therefore, “serve the Lord with gladness” (Psalm 100:2).

Taken from a Piper devotional : What Does It Mean to Serve God? John Piper  July, 2011

The message to us this: Our purpose in serving God is to glorify Him, not to help Him.

Whatever we do, we're to do it through God. The strength must come from God, who serves us. He didn't come to be served, but to serve. He doesn't have a laundry list of things for us to accomplish. 

He doesn't need us to feed the poor, for he can do it. 

He doesn't need us to feed his sheep spiritually, for he can do it. 

He doesn't need us to disciple our children, for he can do it. 

He doesn't need us to toil for our daily bread, for he can supply it.

The above "tasks" are all part of the Christian life, but they are not our purpose. Without that distinction we run astray easily; we grow weary in doing good; we get lost in ego and experience frequent conflict with our fellow man. We lose hope. We choose the wrong things, or the right things at the wrong time.

“The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.” (Acts 17:24–25)

We do not glorify God by providing his needs, but by praying that he would provide ours — and trusting him to answer.

Here we are at the heart of the good news of Christian Hedonism. God’s insistence that we ask him to give us help so that he gets glory (Psalm 50:15) forces on us the startling fact that we must beware of serving God and take special care to let him serve us, lest we rob him of his glory.

This sounds very strange. Most of us think serving God is a totally positive thing; we have not considered that serving God may be an insult to him. But meditation on the meaning of prayer demands this consideration. Acts 17:24–25 makes this plain.

“If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for the world and its fullness are mine. . . . Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me” (Psalm 50:12, 15).

Evidently, there is a way to serve God that would belittle him as needy of our service. “The Son of Man came not to be served” (Mark 10:45). He aims to be the servant. He aims to get the glory as Giver.

Excerpt from John Piper's book: Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist, pg. 168

In a November, 1997 sermon, John Piper teaches why the Gospel was so detestable to Saul of Tarsus, who later became the Apostle Paul. Can you guess why? What was Paul (Saul) like before his conversion? An excellent Pharisee. The best of the best. 

Here was a man who had spent his whole life till that moment defending a way of salvation - a way of acceptance with God - that basically said, "If you want to be right with God and have eternal life and everlasting joy with him, then take the law of God, put it on like an ox wears a yoke, and pull your own weight and show God that you are good enough to go to heaven." Now Paul had heard the message of Jesus. He probably had heard it straight from Jesus' mouth while Jesus was teaching in and around Jerusalem. But we know he heard it from Jesus' early followers like Stephen - and the message he heard was not the way of salvation Paul himself preached as a member of the Pharisees.

This is what threatened Paul in those early days and made him hate Christianity. He was a very successful Pharisee. He had accomplished things in religion and morality beyond all his peers (Galatians 1:14: Philippians 3:4-6). His whole identity hung on serving God with resolve and strength and rigor and accuracy and beyond all his contemporaries. This was his identity. This was his boast and significance. And here comes a message about God that says, "God is not served by human hands as though he needed anything." Well, Paul did not hear this as good news. It was shattering. His whole life seemed in vain. What have I worked for? Why all this study of God's law and all this moral striving if God cannot be served? It would be like spending your life doing aerobic leg exercises only to discover that the final contest of life is hang-gliding, not running.

What's wrong with saying that the law of God is like a yoke, and that you put it on, and exert yourself morally to show that you are worthy to be in God's presence and have eternal life and everlasting joy? Isn't that what our consciences tell us: God is great and holy and righteous? And we are sinful and make many mistakes and can't even do well enough to satisfy our consciences, let alone God? So we must work harder, and pull our own weight and offer God better service? What's wrong with that?

That's what I want to ask this morning, so that we can get the meaning of Christianity very clear in our minds, and see how different it is.

This view of serving God is bad news for some, and good news for others, Piper tell us. If you are like Paul used to be and do everything in your own strength, and have a high opinion of your abilities, it's bad news. God cares nothing for our efforts, in so far as they are aimed at glorifying us and our worth. 

On the other hand, if we are aware of our weakness, our insufficiency, our total dependence on God, than this view of serving Him is a glorious, life-giving one. I don't need to have all the answers, the strength, the courage, the intelligence, the creativity, the stamina or the perseverence. I just need God...serving me, as he came to do.

If you are weak and helpless and sinful and know that any good you do, you need God's help to do, then this comes as the best news in the world. That God is the kind of God who cannot be served, but loves to serve. His message to the world - the Christian gospel - is not a "help-wanted" sign, but a "help available" sign. He is not served as though he needed anything, but he gives to all people life and breath and everything. To those who feel morally self-sufficient this is bad news. It threatens to take away our basis for boasting. But to those who feel morally desperate and hopeless before a holy and infinitely righteous God, this is good news. Maybe a God who doesn't need me would be willing to be for me what I need.

"Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Here we have Jesus telling us why he came into the world. This is the central Christian claim: Christ, the Son of God became a Son of Man and lived among us. Why? Did he come to recruit workers and servants for God? Did he come like a employer's company scout goes to a job fair at a college to find bright, young, able workers to help him keep his company afloat and prosperous?

No. That is not why he came.  Jesus came not because he needed us, but because we needed him.

Specifically, how do we need him? There are hundreds of ways that we need him. But he tells us the main way in the rest of the verse: "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." What we needed most of all was someone who would die in our place. Because the Bible says, "the wages of sin is death." When we are honest with ourselves, we know that we have neglected and offended God very deeply. He has not been first in our lives. He has not even been second or third or fourth. And we know that this is a great offense to him. And we are in grave danger because of his righteous judgment.

So we are in no position to serve him, or impress him in any way with our abilities or our moral prowess. We are rebels at the root, and God is not our loved and honored and trusted and treasured king. We are captive to sin and destined for righteous judgment. That is why our greatest need is not for health, or wealth, or marriage repair, or job, or obedient kids. Our greatest need is someone to die in our place and ransom us from the penalty and power of sin, so that we escape God's judgment and enter eternal life.

Jesus is the very One we need above all other needs. God sent his only Son to pay what we could never pay: an infinite ransom price because of an infinite debt to God because of our sin. Only the Son of God could pay it. Only he is infinite.

Being a Christian means getting up in the morning and saying in your heart: Jesus, you are my Savior, my King, my Friend, my Treasure, my Hope, my Joy, my Guide, my Protection, my Wisdom, my Advocate, my Strength. I need you, I love you, I trust you to be all that for me today. I know you have given me muscles and a mind and a will. I know you intend for me to use them all in doing things that are just and loving and God-honoring. But you have shown me that without you my will is rebellious, my mind is darkened and my muscles obey the rebel will and the darkened mind.

And so, Lord Jesus, I need you every day. Work for me today - not because I deserve it, but because you paid my ransom. Serve me today - to subdue my will, so that I love what you love and find joy in doing your will; to bring light to my mind, so that I think the truth and see you for who you are, infinitely valuable and beautiful. And so may my body magnify you whether in life or death. That's what it means to be a Christian.

The good news this morning is not that God offers to keep us from death or suffering. He doesn't. The good news is that God works for those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4), even in suffering and death. He forgives all our sins, he removes all our guilt, he takes away all our condemnation through the death of Jesus. And in the place of sin and guilt and condemnation God works for us - he makes himself our Servant not only at the cross but every day of our lives. He pursues us with goodness and mercy. He works all things together for our good - even the hardest things. He never leaves us for forsakes us so that "we confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:6). And in the end he will carry us safely through death and bring us home to heaven and everlasting life and joy. And there too he will serve us. He will never surrender the all-glorious position of infinite self-sufficiency as the overflowing fountain of life and joy.

His closing word to you this morning is this (Matthew 11:28-30):

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The yoke of faith and obedience are easy and light because even when he puts it on us he carries it. "Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).

John Piper: Why God Cannot Be Served But Loves to Serve 

This is particularly life-giving to me in this season. The future is murky for one, perhaps two of my children: Peter and Beth. 

If Beth isn't one of the 50% who grow out of juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, she may face life-long need for dangerous drugs just to function...just to avoid a wheelchair and have full use of her wrists and other joints. She may face one or more joint replacement surgeries. Can she be a mother with the physical ability needed to serve her active children? Will she be able to handle a special-needs child, given that special needs run in her family?  Will she be fulfilled and not bitter if she never grows out of this?

And Peter? What if he never gets his concentration and intellectual stamina back after suffering the August, 2014 concussion? What if he wanders around not able to focus or meet goals? What if he continually serves his OCD rituals, allowing them to deplete his energy and hope? His ADHD makes it harder for him to concentrate on beating the OCD, and the OCD makes it harder for him to compensate for the ADHD. We fight for hope daily, even though it's clear he's a young man after God's own heart--even more true since his injury. Still, he drives himself and all of us crazy with the symptoms. Will he drive a wife crazy? Will he be able to concentrate well enough to serve highly demanding children of his own? 

The answer to all these questions is yes...if we allow God to serve us. He came to be for us what we couldn't be. His purposes are served quite well when we are at our weakest. 

So I need not worry about my children's weaknesses, nor my weaknesses and imperfections as a mother and wife. I can live in peace, in joy, knowing that the Son of God came to be for me what I couldn't be. My service to him is to allow him to serve me...not to give me everything I want, but everything I need to glorify Him. 

The book I am reading, Grace Based Parenting, teaches that the most important thing we can do for our children is to raise them with hope. To raise them with hope is to raise them with grace. We do that by making sure we are, ourselves, living by the Hope of the Gospel. The hope of the Gospel is that the Son of Man gives us life eternal, and everything we need until then.

He will give me everything I need, everything you need, everything our children need. Amen. 

End of story...but oh, how we complicate it!

Prayer Time: Dear Heavenly Father, we love you. Thank you for coming to serve us. Thank you for loving us, forgiving us, for continually working in us your glory, reflected. May we stop complicating it all, Lord. Forgive us for making it about us. Forgive us for living by fear and in doubt. Help us to live through you, glorifying you with our humility, our simple faith, our sincere worship and gratitude. Help us to switch our view of serving you from "Help wanted" to "Help available". In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

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The Big Picture: Rethinking Dyslexia

I had heard about this movie from one of the professional dyslexic blogs I follow, and today Amazon sent me an email about it, based upon other books I've purchased from them.

• Actors: Sir Richard Branson, Charles Schwab
• Directors: James Redford

Robert Redford's son,  Richard, has a child with dyslexia, (Robert Redford's grandson) which prompted the creation of this movie, produced by Richard Redford.

Product Overview: Since 1 in 5 people are dyslexic, The Big Picture: Rethinking Dyslexia –a film that demystifies dyslexia -- is being hailed around the world as a "must see" for everyone. The film provides personal and uplifting accounts of the dyslexic experience from children, experts and iconic leaders, such as Sir Richard Branson and financier Charles Schwab. Drs. Sally and Bennett Shaywitz, co-founders of the Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity share their insights gleaned from their decades long research into this perplexing disability.

Directed by James Redford, the film dispels the misconceptions about the condition. It also paints a picture of hope by proving that dyslexia is a neurological issue and not a character flaw. The Big Picture beautifully illustrates that while the condition is an obstacle, it also carries some unique advantages, and ultimately can be overcome.

Purchase for $18.51 here

Weekly Homeschool Wrap-Up 2/13

The thirteen year old will laugh at this picture some day. Thank goodness he still enjoys his siblings.

In many respects the last two weeks have been so difficult, but God's grace rained down on us more times than I could count. We do devotions in the morning without Daddy, and right after dinner with Daddy. Both sessions have been my saving grace regarding the extreme stress having special needs children brings. Cuddling on the couch with my children while praying with them and pouring my heart and impatient sins out, helps tremendously. Our rewards are greater love and regard for each other, calm spirits, and a better understanding of what it means to live for Jesus and through Him.

This week I ordered Sonlight Core H, which is the second half of the curriculum we're using this year. It's World History Part 2, which we'll switch to as soon as it arrives, while still reading Story of the World Middle Ages and finishing up Story of the World Ancient Times. The boys just aren't that enamored with the novels this year, and with Peter it's been a particularly difficult struggle because of his OCD, which was triggered by the false gods and fleshy Roman culture. Both boys have tender hearts and the topics have included adultery and other things which failed to uplift them. While they need to know about ancient history and all its trappings, I decided it can wait until high school when they're more mature. It wasn't that the books were trash at all, just that they were mature--more so than Core H.

Beth started her new immuno-suppressant drug on Tuesday, which went as well as can be expected with an IV needle involved. They did numb her first, but the fear caused tears and upset, nevertheless. She left with a new "stuffy"--a cute stuffed owl a kind nurse gave her, which put an immediate teary smile on her face. Wednesday morning she sported a large blister on her lower lip which gave her a fat-lip effect and made her scheduled dental cleaning impossible. I worried it was an allergic reaction, but there was no other sign of a reaction and the blister went away by bedtime. The others still had their cleanings and no cavities, thank goodness. Beth has had no apparent side effects so far, other than that blister, which happens sometimes with immuno-suppressant drugs.

The desktop PC I ordered arrived damaged (high fan noise and other suspicious noises, and it's sluggish), so I have to package it and send it back. I had to spend more precious time researching but I finally chose another for $150 more; hopefully, it's better quality. It should arrive Monday. 

My cell phone was old and wouldn't hold a charge and started dropping every call, so there I was, back on the Internet researching. Maddening, when I really just want to read a book, not reviews every night. At first it appeared that smartphones were the only free options and I panicked, but finally I found a free flip phone hiding amid the smartphones. The funny thing is, most of the reviews were from the elderly who don't care for a smartphone and like the large keys. So there you go--I live the speed of an eighty year old! 

Yes, I love me some large keys and why would I need the Internet everywhere I go? Yes, it seems like it could be used for extra safety and convenience, but Ma Ingalls never needed one and she had even more dangers lurking, like scarlet fever and wild animals. In the dentist office and elsewhere I want to be watching my beautiful children's faces, rather than an addictive device (which I would look at if it was there). Children are always an interesting, even enchanting study and I love watching them and hearing their funny comments and planting kisses on their soft cheeks. In the dentist office waiting room I read The Little Old Lady Who Swallowed a Dreidle from our local library and we were in stitches. Such a funny rewrite. I would have missed giggling in the waiting room with my brood that if I'd had a smartphone--telling myself I deserved a little break.

For one minute I thought I should get the smartphone because our vans are both older and we drive in frigid temperatures, but then I thought of that busy dentist waiting room and remembered that all the other moms were on their smartphones,,,and several of the kids too. And I thought of Ma Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie and I resolved to resist technology on the go for as long as I can, because I'm not a business woman but a mother who deals in precious hearts, not products and profits.

My only regret is that I have no more babies to carry around on our errands! However, Beth is the quintessential Momma's girl and I still wake up every morning with her cuddled against me. She usually makes her way there in the middle of the night and when she finally stops visiting, I will cry buckets. I will look back with fondness at the closeness we shared, knowing she so often provided raining grace for my long, exhausting mothering hours. The years be so short and the days so long, indeed.

Trying to get number formation down, which has been a challenge for both girls due to reversals. Having the starting corner concept introduced by Handwriting Without Tears has helped, but it takes time. Beth is still in K so I don't necessarily need to be concerned unless she still reverses in second grade. Mary is in second grade and her reversals are due to dyslexia.

A princess and her prince: Beth is always creating something. She's been drawing up a storm, leaving pictures all over the house. She used to always use a drawing book for help, but now she copies pictures from the covers of books. Last night she copied Angelina Ballerina from the cover of a library book, and I loved the final product! Her mind thinks in pictures, which is one clue she may have dyslexia also. They think in pictures and are creative artists, often pursuing careers in the theater arts, in illustrating, in creative writing, etc. They have big-picture views of life (right-brained) and see things others don't see, whether it be solutions to problems or innovative possibilities for art and stories. Teaching these students is difficult, but if you understand them well you see God's glory in their uniqueness. God doesn't make mistakes! Little Beth delights me all the live long day!

Air-drying clay projects. They always seem to break soon, but I can't seem to make the time for the firing-type clay.

All About Reading Level 2 - working with the rule for the soft sound of /C/. C says s before e, i, and y.  She had to read each word and tickle it with a feather if it was a soft /c/, and hammer it with a paper hammer if it was a hard /c/.

Stuffed animals are a big deal around here. The girls, especially Beth, even carry them to doctor appointments. They recently started pretending that Paul is a vet, and all the stuffed animals in the house have to go to regular appointments for immunizations, colds and flu, and for eye glasses, teeth exams, arthritis checks, etc. I love how play teaches so much, such as organizational skills, interpersonal skills, etc. They had to make up the rules, the prices, the check-off sheets, the doctor's schedule, etc. It took a lot of their play time and I had a smile in my heart each time they did it. Such a hoot!

All About Reading Level 1: Beth's level - rhyming words with short vowels. Both girls are doing great and like to read ahead in their books, and Mary now checks out her own library books and READS THEM! I am so proud of her and so pleased that she's cracked the reading code. I was concerned that she wouldn't be ready to read Sonlight Books by the third grade, but that worry has disappeared! I've experienced that once the fluency comes, they are off and running.

Semi-sweet baking chips are a nice incentive. 

They called me out to take a picture of the world's greatest snowball. :)

All About Reading Level 1--Bingo with chocolate chips!

She dressed herself. 'Nuff said.

All About Reading 2
R-controlled words with /or/. Read them to "harvest" them.

All About Reading 2 -- Bossy r syllable (r-controlled words)

When she needs to concentrate to sound out a word, she goes into her "workshop" pose. 

Here is Owlie from the hospital. She makes clothes for all her stuffies.

My kids neglect all the Scholastic paperbacks I bought years ago when I was a classroom teacher. I put them out this week so that Beth could use the covers to draw pictures, and so that Mary would pick them up and read them. I usually just keep the library books here, but I changed it up a bit this week. Yes, teaching takes over the house in many respects.

Mary and Peter both love non-fiction reading about animals and gardening. Peter used to love fiction too, but that has changed since his concussion last August--a reality that grieves me more than I can say. He has a harder time concentrating and just can't read as much, unless it's about animals. He used to be two or three Sonlight books ahead of schedule. Not so anymore.

So that's our last two weeks...hard but incredibly rewarding. I am so grateful. I think the two words that best describe these mothering years? Grateful and exhausted, equally. Not a physical exhaustion, although there is that too, but I mostly refer to an emotional exhaustion. Prayer and the Word help me renew my vigor and dump all my worries, and give thanks for the incredible privilege of being a mom...the best job in the world!

How was your week, friends? Hopefully you had nothing to research and lots of blessings! Happy Valentine's Day, too.

At Least I Didn't Throw the Computer

My week required a lot of patience due to medical concerns and technology nightmares, and in a testimony of the Holy Spirit's work in my life, I actually had that patience 70% of the time. We won't talk about the 30% in which I ranted about how much I hated computers and always would. They're for people who have time in their day to tinker and learn by trial and error.

Our PC, only three years old, developed serious symptoms a couple weeks ago, and after working with its internal repair options for a week (start-up repair, system restore), I gave up and took it to a PC shop. The boot disk was bad among other things; sometimes it would start up and sometimes not. When it does, it's incredibly slow (like five minutes to respond to anything). The boys couldn't do their Teaching Textbooks math DVD on it, and math must go on.

After keeping it two days longer than the shop indicated, they dropped the dreaded hard drive bomb.

"The hard drive is bad and it will cost $200 to fix it."

 I told them no, we don't want to spend $200 to fix a $400 PC.

God is good. He knows no one makes anything to last anymore. Not microwaves (knobs or doors malfunction), not washers and dryers, and not computers. It's always something and thank goodness this happened just as a child tax credit showed up in our account, to our relief. It must have been the grace of God. Thankfully, I was able to save my district homeschooling notification documents, which would be a headache to recreate. Our pictures are all saved on camera memory cards, and will now be backed up with Cloud as well.

On Wednesday we bought a backup Internet source in the form of a Kindle Fire for at least checking email and weather and news when our PC is down. The kids thought they would finally have some TV with a Kindle Fire and Amazon Prime, and to my relief, it isn't as useful for that as they thought. There seems to be plenty of PBS, though, which is all I can trust. The problem is, I can't have them go through the choices because almost all the features for adults look evil and scary and appear on the same screen. I stayed up late one night trying to give them each their own account with appropriate books and options, but all that did was promptly fill up all our space, after which I had to restore factory defaults. I'm still getting used to the Cloud storage verses what's on the device. The Holy Bible took up too much space so we have to download that from Cloud when necessary.

Peter and Paul say many kids at church bring their devices for Bible access, as opposed to just bringing a Bible. Peter asked me if he could bring the Kindle to church. I told him that, no, he was not going to try to be cool. Using technology on an as-needed basis so as not to draw attention to yourself is the right stance, I taught them. If you forget your Bible, then technology is fine as a fill-in. Use it when it makes sense, I continued, such as when you want the ability to look up difficult words without hauling out a dictionary. When I read that Kindles do that by one touch, I was impressed enough to make a final decision, despite all the mixed reviews. It's not likely to save us money on homeschooling books, since I buy them used anyway, but we'll see what library options are available to extend our free options. Our local library doesn't have much of what we need for homeschooling, and it looks like you can only use your own local library to borrow Kindle books through Amazon. (Is that not true?)

I can't use the Kindle for blogging because I'm really partial to a regular keyboard (I don't even text on my cell phone!). Hopefully, this PC will do one last blog post for me before it completely dies. Another PC arrives on Tuesday, which I chose after reading positive reviews, and also expert comments indicating that PC's should go down to the $200 range some time this year. Why pay a lot, I told myself, if the hard drives aren't lasting? An HP desktop PC for $350 seemed like a good choice since we don't edit video or photos and we aren't into gaming. It happened to have Windows 7 while still being brand new, allowing me once again to avoid Windows 8 before Windows 10 comes out.

I do want the kids to learn to edit photos--something I never learned, but there will be time for that sort of tinkering someday. I continually remind myself that my job is to love and disciple them in the Lord, not get them versed in every kind of technology. On their own time in the future they will learn all that stuff fast. My hours and days and years with them are meant to focus on eternal things, not the temporal.

I've read more chapters of Grace Based Parenting by Tim Keller and will continue to share that when the new PC arrives.

This week we have Beth's biologic drug infusion appointment on Tuesday and 4 dental cleanings on Wednesday, so it's another school week interrupted. We pack up our curriculum and try to concentrate the best we can in waiting rooms and hospital rooms.

Have a blessed Sunday!