Good afternoon, Blog World. How is your day going?
Mine? No so good.
But there is this one blessing that keeps on blessing, even on the worst of days. It's my nursing relationship with my soon-to-be two year old. Lying down with her, cradling her body while she nurses, makes me the happiest woman on earth. Truly. My body completely relaxes, no matter the intensity of the morning's stress.
I think of my precious baby, and her precious siblings, and about the joy that comes from being a Mommy.
That floor that lately needs a sweeping and mopping daily? Suddenly, I forget why it mattered so much.
That creditor calling three times a day because they don't wait for you to get a higher-paying job? Suddenly, I know it will work out.
The hyperactive, over-stimulated child who grates on my nerves--everyone's nerves? Suddenly, I see only his heart.
Perspective comes, and with it, joy.
It makes me wonder about all the other natural ways God relieves our stress. Have we forsaken many of them, in our modern world, and not even realized it? Is that why drug prescriptions for stress-related conditions are on the rise?
In this world we will know tribulation (John 16:33). But God, in his love and grace, has given us little pockets of blessings--like mother/child nursing, sunsets, sunrises, cardinals by the window, sun glistening off snow blanket, a hug, a dancing butterfly, a rainbow....
All these things? They help bounce our gaze--off ourselves, and onto Him. With our eyes resting on Him, we overcome.
"In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Worried About Your Child's Future? Part 2
In Part I of this series, I stated that separating my part in preparing my boys for their futures, from God's part, helps alleviate my fears. In doing this, I'm concentrating on what I can control, verses what I can't. Biblically speaking, my part is to teach my children about the precepts of the Lord. (Deuteronomy 6:7, Proverbs 22:6), and keep my children from folly, without frustrating or angering them. (Proverbs 22:15, Ephesians 6:4)
There are two facets to God's part, in my mind. First, there is his will for my sons' lives, and secondly, there are his promises.
My first and most important parenting lesson came on a gray November day in the year 2000. I was thirty-four years old and 21 weeks pregnant with my first child. During a routine ultrasound that day, I was told that my son had died.
The lesson, on which I had a refresher course in 2005, was this: Our children do not belong to us. They are His. Those we have the privilege of rearing are no more ours than the precious ones we bury early. Their heavenly Father can call them home at any moment. Any moment.
"See now that I, I am He, and there is no god besides Me; it is I who puts to death and gives life. I have wounded, and it is I who heals; and there is no one who can deliver from My hand." Duet. 32:39
The Lord kills and makes alive; He brings down to Sheol and raises up. The Lord makes poor and rich; He brings low and He also exalts. 1 Sam 2:6, 7
In the above verses we are confronted with God's Sovereignty. And in these:
Prov. 16:4 The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Prov. 19:21 Many are the plans of a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will be established.
He pre-wrote my sons' stories, just as he did mine. (Jeremiah 1:9) While I can't predict the turns their lives will take, I do know they will suffer, as their father and I have done, and all the ancestors that lived before us.
"In this world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33
"For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake." Philippians 1:29
I was a baby Christian that November day in 2000, only knowing the Lord three years, and knowing marital bliss just sixteen months. In those dark grief days, it seemed that I had nothing to live for. My wedding pictures, once a source of joy, seemed to mock me from the mantle. Would we have been smiling so wide, I wondered, if we'd known of the sorrow to come?
I wrestled with God's sovereignty for the next five months, until conceiving Peter. With hope growing inside me, I delved into Scripture to learn more about God's purpose and will for mankind.
What did I learn and find comfort in?
That he created us in love, to share his love with us (to fellowship with us), and to bring glory to Himself.
"Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him, yea, I have made him." Isaiah 43:7
"For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it will accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." Isaiah 55:11
But no, we are not puppets. God allows us free will, and our will intersects with God's sovereignty on the cross. This is how I know that God created us in love, to share his love:
The cross proves it.
God uses our choices for good. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
God has a plan for us, and also a purpose. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
From Scripture we know:
- that God is sovereign
- that He created us to share his love with us and to bring glory to Himself
- that we were created to do good
- that He has plans to prosper us.
When I find myself worrying about my boys' future, I remember all that Scripture teaches me. Three T's help summarize it for me:
I have to Teach my children about the precepts of the Lord.
I must Treasure my children, for I know not, how long they'll be with me.
I can Trust the Lord's sovereignity, for he created my sons to share his love with them, and he has plans to prosper them and have them do good.
Teach, Treasure, Trust
In the next and final part of this series, I want to discuss the blessings that come from disability and weakness, and explain why we must not look upon them as curses.
"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it will accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." Isaiah 55:11
But no, we are not puppets. God allows us free will, and our will intersects with God's sovereignty on the cross. This is how I know that God created us in love, to share his love:
The cross proves it.
God uses our choices for good. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
God has a plan for us, and also a purpose. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10
From Scripture we know:
- that God is sovereign
- that He created us to share his love with us and to bring glory to Himself
- that we were created to do good
- that He has plans to prosper us.
When I find myself worrying about my boys' future, I remember all that Scripture teaches me. Three T's help summarize it for me:
I have to Teach my children about the precepts of the Lord.
I must Treasure my children, for I know not, how long they'll be with me.
I can Trust the Lord's sovereignity, for he created my sons to share his love with them, and he has plans to prosper them and have them do good.
Teach, Treasure, Trust
In the next and final part of this series, I want to discuss the blessings that come from disability and weakness, and explain why we must not look upon them as curses.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Glory to God in the Blogosphere
I think the greatest blessing of the Christian blogosphere is the spread of personal testimony. Many people--especially those who find writing cathartic--will share boldly, honestly, through writing. There is an illusion of safety when the audience is invisible. Anonymously, it's easier to humble ourselves, revealing how God brought us low.
But the stories don't end there--in lowness. They end triumphantly, because in low living there is Kingdom-style blessing. Remember the upside-down nature of God's Kingdom?
When we continue to follow the story, we are never disappointed. While at first we feel pity for the author, in the end we are only amazed. At God. At his Glory. His Majesty. His provision. His faithfulness. His way.
It is human nature to attempt self-exaltation--think Facebook, Twitter and constant status checking. As Christian bloggers (or Christian FB or Twitter users), we must strive to exalt God. It is only in giving Him the glory, that we truly find fulfillment.
Thinking on these verses today:
You will save the humble people; but your eyes are on the haughty, that You may bring them down.
2 Samuel 22:28 (NKJ)
The humble He guides in justice, and the humble He teaches His way.
Psalm 25:9 (NKJ)
When pride comes, then comes shame; but with the humble is wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 (NKJ)
But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Humble yourselves in the sight of the LORD, and He will lift you up.
James 4:6-7,10
Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
1 Corinthians 10:12
A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honor.
Proverbs 29:23 (NKJ)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Worried About Your Child's Future? Part l
I learned more about my husband's childhood during my sister-in-law's recent visit. While the details she provides help me apply grace to my wonderful husband, they also highlight the uphill battle I face as a parent..
Forgive me for a lengthy lead in to today's topic, which is: Worried About Your Child's Future? Part l.
My sister-in-law described being traumatized by her father's ongoing treatment of her brother. As a lad my husband was always in trouble; little mercy was applied, despite his mother standing up for him Nobody suspected AD/HD, as it simply wasn't known in everyday circles. Having the inattentive type, my husband forgets things frequently and doesn't complete tasks thoroughly the first time. These symptoms sent his father into a rage.
Not knowing otherwise, people assume the inattentive-type AD/HD sufferer is lazy and incompetent. Unable to impress people or completely satisfy them, the sufferer lives with daily frustration and anger, and a feeling of failure. As I said, none of this was understood when he was young, and I've only come to understand it as his wife in the last few years, due to 8-year-old Peter's hyperactive/impulsive type AD/HD, and 7-year-old Paul's inattentive type. My husband, for his part, is only now understanding why "success" has eluded him all these years, and why his father hated him.
Regularly, I see my husband struggle. It's hard to watch, and it leads me, at times, to fret about my boys' futures. The past few days have been one such time, and I wanted to share how I pull myself out of these worrying frenzies.
If your children don't display any unusual behaviors or conditions, you probably won't understand this post completely. Still, I'll try to present it so that all mothers can glean something.
First off, I have reason to worry. Peter is becoming more of a bully toward his siblings (especially toward his brother). His pediatrician warned me that bullying would become more of an issue around ten years old (Peter will be nine in January). Due to his impulsiveness, frustration quickly becomes aggression. Medication to treat the impulsivity aggravates his tic disorder and his OCD symptoms. He washes his hands far too often, causing them to bleed. Sadly, last week he gave up helping with baking (which he used to love) because of contamination fears regarding the eggs.
Additionally, Peter strangely and audibly tells God he is sorry for insignificant things, for fear some punishment will befall him (distortion of religious beliefs--Martin Luther had this type of OCD and suffered profoundly, leading to his historically significant emphasis on grace (Protestant Reformation), rather than works, as the cornerstone of the Christian faith.
I worry that Peter won't be able to hold down a job and support a family, or that he'll be able to do so only by taking a few different medications (which would be tragic, given the side effects with these types of drugs). I worry he will frustrate his wife and kids, leading to increased feelings of failure.
I worry that Paul, who has the inattentive type, will always be perceived as incompetent or lazy. He is extremely bright, especially in math and problem solving and spatial relationships, but without the ability to stay on task, his intellect may be wasted (although tasks he enjoys are not a problem, as is typical in these cases). Will he become a perpetual underachiever, I wonder?
Having summarized my recurrent worries, let me now discuss what helps me regain peace and joy, after a period of worry.
A couple of things help me consistently.
First, I separate what I'm responsible for, versus what God is responsible for. Knowing what I can control helps alleviate worry.
So, what am I responsible for, according to God? What kind of a parent must I be?
I must teach my children about the precepts of the Lord, and keep them from folly:
"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 ESV
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it from him." Proverbs 22:15 ESV (I do not believe this refers only to spanking. The rod was used to redirect wayward sheep; it had a crook in it. Redirection is imperative, and perhaps at times, it may include spanking, depending on the child's disposition.)
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the LORD." Ephesians 6:4 ESV
The above verses represent my part in this child-rearing gig. When I catch myself worrying, I remember that as long as I dedicate my days to these endeavors, God is pleased and honored. He will reward my efforts, though imperfect, and pepper them with grace.
It's tempting to get distracted by education and even let it be our god, as parents. Society wants us to regard it as the only means to success. Resist that. What kind of "success" are we after for our children, anyway, as Christian parents? Certainly not financial success--although there's certainly nothing wrong with it if it comes. We're not after recognition for our children, either.
Our goals must focus on the heart. Spiritual training first; multiplication tables later.
To Be Continued.
Forgive me for a lengthy lead in to today's topic, which is: Worried About Your Child's Future? Part l.
My sister-in-law described being traumatized by her father's ongoing treatment of her brother. As a lad my husband was always in trouble; little mercy was applied, despite his mother standing up for him Nobody suspected AD/HD, as it simply wasn't known in everyday circles. Having the inattentive type, my husband forgets things frequently and doesn't complete tasks thoroughly the first time. These symptoms sent his father into a rage.
Not knowing otherwise, people assume the inattentive-type AD/HD sufferer is lazy and incompetent. Unable to impress people or completely satisfy them, the sufferer lives with daily frustration and anger, and a feeling of failure. As I said, none of this was understood when he was young, and I've only come to understand it as his wife in the last few years, due to 8-year-old Peter's hyperactive/impulsive type AD/HD, and 7-year-old Paul's inattentive type. My husband, for his part, is only now understanding why "success" has eluded him all these years, and why his father hated him.
Regularly, I see my husband struggle. It's hard to watch, and it leads me, at times, to fret about my boys' futures. The past few days have been one such time, and I wanted to share how I pull myself out of these worrying frenzies.
If your children don't display any unusual behaviors or conditions, you probably won't understand this post completely. Still, I'll try to present it so that all mothers can glean something.
First off, I have reason to worry. Peter is becoming more of a bully toward his siblings (especially toward his brother). His pediatrician warned me that bullying would become more of an issue around ten years old (Peter will be nine in January). Due to his impulsiveness, frustration quickly becomes aggression. Medication to treat the impulsivity aggravates his tic disorder and his OCD symptoms. He washes his hands far too often, causing them to bleed. Sadly, last week he gave up helping with baking (which he used to love) because of contamination fears regarding the eggs.
Additionally, Peter strangely and audibly tells God he is sorry for insignificant things, for fear some punishment will befall him (distortion of religious beliefs--Martin Luther had this type of OCD and suffered profoundly, leading to his historically significant emphasis on grace (Protestant Reformation), rather than works, as the cornerstone of the Christian faith.
I worry that Peter won't be able to hold down a job and support a family, or that he'll be able to do so only by taking a few different medications (which would be tragic, given the side effects with these types of drugs). I worry he will frustrate his wife and kids, leading to increased feelings of failure.
I worry that Paul, who has the inattentive type, will always be perceived as incompetent or lazy. He is extremely bright, especially in math and problem solving and spatial relationships, but without the ability to stay on task, his intellect may be wasted (although tasks he enjoys are not a problem, as is typical in these cases). Will he become a perpetual underachiever, I wonder?
Having summarized my recurrent worries, let me now discuss what helps me regain peace and joy, after a period of worry.
A couple of things help me consistently.
First, I separate what I'm responsible for, versus what God is responsible for. Knowing what I can control helps alleviate worry.
So, what am I responsible for, according to God? What kind of a parent must I be?
I must teach my children about the precepts of the Lord, and keep them from folly:
"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." Deuteronomy 6:7 ESV
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 ESV
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it from him." Proverbs 22:15 ESV (I do not believe this refers only to spanking. The rod was used to redirect wayward sheep; it had a crook in it. Redirection is imperative, and perhaps at times, it may include spanking, depending on the child's disposition.)
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the LORD." Ephesians 6:4 ESV
The above verses represent my part in this child-rearing gig. When I catch myself worrying, I remember that as long as I dedicate my days to these endeavors, God is pleased and honored. He will reward my efforts, though imperfect, and pepper them with grace.
It's tempting to get distracted by education and even let it be our god, as parents. Society wants us to regard it as the only means to success. Resist that. What kind of "success" are we after for our children, anyway, as Christian parents? Certainly not financial success--although there's certainly nothing wrong with it if it comes. We're not after recognition for our children, either.
Our goals must focus on the heart. Spiritual training first; multiplication tables later.
To Be Continued.
Friday, November 5, 2010
gratitude and introducing Harry the Hamster
Auntie Lorrie and Mary
Auntie Lorrie and Peter
This is Harry.
Wait! Is this me or Harry? I get mixed up. My days look an awful lot like this! A spinning wheel, indeed.
.
Auntie Lorrie with Paul and Mary
Paul just finished his airplane model, received for his birthday from Momma and Daddy.
Baby Beth was asleep when I took these. She received a stuffed dog and matching storybook.
My gratitude list:
- for sweet kids. Not perfect, but sweet.
- for the privilege of caring for this family. For making and serving them wholesome foods, bathing their squirrelly bodies, reading to their eager minds, for teaching them the ways of the Lord. For all of it, thank you, Lord.
- for a faithful husband, strong in spirit, mind, and body, dedicated to all of us
- for Auntie Lorrie, who loves my children with all her heart
- for a house I enjoy mothering in, teaching in, dwelling in
- for a Heavenly Father who loves me
- for homeschooling
- for the new towels Lorrie gave us for Christmas (badly needed)
- for love that heals all
- for love that perseveres
- for love that is not self-seeking
- for love that is not easily angered
- for love that keeps no record of wrongs
- for a husband who loves me like these verses, even during times of trial and fatigue
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
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