sacrifice of praise for Monday

Hebrews 13:15 

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.

Photos courtesy of Peter, my son.  He wants to be a nature photographer on the side someday, supplementing his forest ranger income.

Monday Gratitude:

- Singing this song together, taken from Barney's Campfire Songs.  A kookaburra is a kingfisher bird, native to Australia.

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, 

          merry, merry king of the bush is he.

Laugh Kookaburra, laugh Kookaburra,

gay a life has he.

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree,
Eating all the gumdrops he can see.
Stop kookaburra, stop kookaburra
Leave some there for me. 

- Daffodils and other bulb flowers blooming in the front bed

- Writing letters to penpals & receiving letters from penpals

- Reading the book of Isaiah with my boys at night

- 7:15 AM visits from Paul and Mary, for morning cuddles.  Can't think of a better way to start my day.

- Homemade applesauce to cheer us up on a breezy, wet, cold, 50-degree day

- Goldfinches now visit several times daily.

- Husband starting his day with the Bible

- For the second year I'm having all the egg dyeing, egg hunting, stuffed-bunny gifting, and chocolate-bunny eating on the weekend before Easter, to help them focus on Scripture and Resurrection and church on Easter day--enjoying those along with a nice meal.   Every time Mary says Easter egg, Peter corrects her, "They're spring eggs, not Easter eggs, Mary.  We're doing fun spring things next weekend, not Easter things."  She pouts at him and says, "No! They're Easter eggs, Peter!"  (Oh, well. I try.)

Okay, that's it for today.  Miss Beth is awake!  Happy Spring!

Sunday thanks-giving

Psalm 30:11-12 

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.

Sunday Gratitude List:

- A neighbourhood walk in 78 degree, sunny weather

- Girls trying on spring dresses from storage boxes

- Momma buys bubble bath about twice a year.  Oh, how it brings on the giggles!  I love it!

- Puzzles with Miss Beth

- Miss Mary remarking about our sizeable drainage ditch across the street, from which the boys catch frogs:  "It's so nice sitting here and watching the river."

- Miss Beth bringing her Barney stuffed animal on our stroller walk.

- The boys enjoy e-mail exchanges with their homeschool friend, six-year-old Faith, who moved back to Michigan last fall. She starts every other e-mail with, "Dear Peter and Paul, I love you."  So cute!

- Paul coming home from church and saying, "Mommy, I had such a good time tonight."  They played outside because the weather was so nice.  If you live in our area, you learn to drop everything and enjoy nice weather when it finally arrives.

- Miss Beth finishing her nap in my arms today.  If she naps for more than an hour, she falls asleep too late at night.  But if she only sleeps an hour, she is still groggy and cranky and tends to fall asleep in the rocker with me for another half hour.  These nap transitions can be tough!  The boys were much easier in this regard.

- Peter studying his insect and bird field guides diligently, telling me what he hopes to see this spring, summer and fall.

- Paul's crafty creativeness

- I can't reproduce for you how Miss Beth says the word blueberries, but boy is it cute!  She's doing better with her articulation.  And that girl can down a pint of blueberries by herself!  I have to keep an eye on her!  Peter is the same way with his berries.

anger and 40+ hormones

A routine day passed.  Peter was calm, school smooth.  The girls played together and I managed to sweep and mop two rooms.  I prepared homemade chicken noodle soup with cornbread for dinner, which everyone eats and enjoys, no fuss.

Three goldfinches came to the feeder, surprises came in the mail from our sweet penpals, a nice e-mail exchange occurred between me and my friend in Wyoming, who I mentioned needs prayer for finances.  Her family does ministry to the poor and needy in a trailer park.

The day flowed.  Nothing distressing.

Then it happened.

The girls were in the bath.  Miss Beth kept scooting around as I washed and rinsed her hair.  I positioned her again, in front of me, after telling her to stay still.  Intent on getting a bath toy or letter from the other end of the tub, she ignored me.

Shocking anger spewed.  Abruptly pushing all the toys to her side, I yelled, "Here!  You want these?  Take them!  Just stay still so I can rinse your hair!"

Mary looked up at me, surprised and sad.  "I guess we're not having a good day."

I hadn't yelled in quite awhile.  Bible reading and prayer, sudden and planned, cured me--or so it seemed.

I stepped away and just watched the girls after that.  Tears threatened.

Where had that anger come from?  It hadn't been a hard day, other than the rain and the closed-up feeling we all have.

Again, while I put cream on the girls after their bath, Miss Beth scooted to the head of the king bed, smiling mischievously, before I'd finished.  Normal two-year-old behaviour.  She isn't a difficult child.

And yet, my anger sparked.  I pulled her back down abruptly, yelling that she needed to obey.

Mary: "When will we have a good day?"

Momma:  "Mary, I'm sorry. We haven't had a bad day.  I guess Mommy is just tired.  It would be nice if everyone listened and things went smoothly. Thank you for listening to Mommy."

Mary:  "I wish Beth would listen."

Momma:  "She's still little.  Most of the time she listens well.  Soon she'll listen as well as you."

We often sing songs during dressing time, distracting them from such childish behaviour.  Tonight, I didn't remember.  I was reeling from the tub-side anger, moments before.

Lights out, Beth nursing peacefully beside me, I caress her hair, her cheeks, tell her how much Mommy loves her.  I pray that God will apply mercy and grace, helping the girls forgive me and not dwell on it--especially Mary, my sensitive one.

The moments before bed should be special.  Their last thoughts should be of fun songs, sweet prayers, and Momma's love, keeping them safe.

I blew it.

When I went back to Mary's room to apologize again for my anger, and to cuddle with her, she was already asleep.

Please God, give her a peaceful sleep.  May she feel love, not disdain, for her angry Momma.

House quiet, husband away till 1:00 AM, I research perimenopause and mood swings. Am I a victim now, even though my cycles are like clockwork?  Is this just normal PMS, but worsening because of my age?  I'd never felt such a sudden flash of anger.

One minute, I'm joyfully singing campfire songs during bathtime, and the next, I snap--shove toys at my two-year-old.

This isn't who I want to be, God!

I'd made such progress, becoming a measure more gentle and quiet, these past weeks, months.

I read about omega oil, flaxseed, calcium, exercise, sleep, no caffeine (which my Excedrin has, but I don't drink tea or coffee).

Youth is gone.  Is that it?  Now I have to work at feeling good?

I've always needed less sleep than the average person--five or six hours is fine, especially if uninterrupted.  My dad is the same.

Either I take care of myself consciously now, or my kids suffer?

And of course, I'll need more prayer, more Bible, more Jesus songs.  More of His grace.

We never arrive.  Have you noticed?  Something always send us running back to Him.

Help me Lord, I can't do this!


Matthew 11:28-30 (source here) 

²⁸Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. ³⁰For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

John 14:27  ²⁷Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Psalm 4:8   I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

Dear Sun

Dear Sun,

We miss you.  That's all I have to say.

Love,

A Desperate Momma

He's eating a pinecone covered with peanut butter and seed, which Peter hung here by a string.

You know you're desperate for entertainment when Momma has to suggest you design a maze for your hamster.

thanks with my whole heart

Psalm 9:1-2
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

Wednesday Gratitude

I am thankful for:

- a sweet toddler who softly caresses my face when she's asleep (or half asleep) at night.

- four months without colds.  This current cold, and its affect on my toddler, reminds me of the grace we were given this winter.  Dealing with an angry, high-needs ADHD/OCD child by day, and a sick toddler by night, would have done me in.  Oh, Heavenly Father, I love you.  Thank you!

- a husband who kisses me goodbye and whispers, "I'm praying for you."

- The day after Miss Beth's first toss-and-turn night, I woke up sicker and feeling punchy--no patience.  By 9:30 AM, Peter had asked me ten times when the goldfinches would come back to the feeder.  He doesn't mean to annoy--just has little ability to delay gratification.  My husband was due to leave at lunch time.  I said, "Honey, I think I need to check out a Curious George movie, and a Barney for Miss Beth, to get through this day."  I left five minutes later, on my way to the library I swore I'd never go to again--the one that charges  $.50/day for each overdue item.  It happens to be the only library with Curious George and Barney movies.  I checked out Campfire Songs Barney, filmed twenty-one years ago, and Curious George Goes Green.  We've been happily singing long-forgotten campfire songs for two days.  I love that Barney is mostly songs, all of which we love.  I also love Curious George, and cuddling with my kids while we watch it.  Being sick (occasionally) can be a blessing.  It gives Momma permission to give up on chores (though there's always dishes and laundry) and just enjoy relaxing with the kids.

- crockpots

- frozen fruit, steamed frozen veggies (I know, I say this a lot, but they do make things easier for busy Momma's!)

- the Book of Isaiah

- Psalms

- Proverbs

- listening to children pray

- hot chocolate

- green grass (I promise I won't complain about the very dark skies here, and all the rain and mud)

- seventy-degree weather predicted later this week

- a long forgotten Hershey bar in my purse, still safe in its complete wrapping (No, I did not eat it in the bathroom, savouring its stress-relieving properties.  What Momma doesn't share a Hershey bar with her brood?)

- a woodpecker walking backwards all the way down our tree, on his way to the suet.

- a squirrel hanging by his tail, enjoying a peanut butter/birdseed pinecone.  What will they do next? :)

- a female goldfinch came to the feeder today (Praise God!)

- a boy in love with birds--and spiritual enough to give thanks to God for them ("Dear Lord, thank you for the goldfinch.  May I see the male goldfinch later today.")

- a house full of very small things to pick up while vacuuming (lightbright pegs, lacing jewels, pegboard pegs, Paul's popcorn kernels, Peter's birdseed)

- the strength to vacuum today

- dishes done early, before anyone's bedtime

- propping myself against a pillow and holding Beth nearly upright in my arms, so she could sleep and breathe at the same time.  Holding her for so long felt soooo good, even though it was four in the morning and she had tossed and turned most of the night)