A Few Big Blessings

~ My sweet Mary, excited after exchanging Valentines at AWANA, talked long last night in bed. She whispered in my ear, so as not to awaken little sister: "We're supposed to wear clothes next week for what we want to be when we grow up. I want to be a princess when I grow up, Mommy, so I'm going to wear my princess dress." Oh, the sweetness of a five-year-old whispering that in my ear. My heart wanted to bow down at the Lord's feet right there, thanking him for my two daughters--conceived when I was 40 and 42 years old. They have a wrinkled Mommy, but she's an incredibly grateful wrinkled Mommy.

~ Peter received his Time Tales DVD two weeks ago, and he's progressed more in multiplication in that time than in the previous year and a half. I can't recommend this program enough for memorizing the more difficult multiplication facts http://www.triggermemorysystem.com/. The student learns a few simple stories and recalls those stories when faced with a multiplication fact. The numbers become the characters in the story. For example, 9 is a tree, 4 is a chair, 3 is butterfly, etc. At first, to the parent, it might seem too simple and a waste of money ($40), but the child soaks up the mnemonic devices quickly and learns the facts in no time. Praise God for this resource, created by two moms!

The Lord patiently reminded me that every child can learn; it's just a matter of finding the right method. This philosophy has been mine all along, but the more Peter struggled and raged, the more I began to lose faith. God was faithful to lead me to the right source and provide the money.

Homeschooling blesses all involved, no matter how hard individual days might seem. Just like any aspect of parenting, we are incapable on our own, but with His strength, wisdom, and blessing, our imperfect efforts bear much fruit. No one cares more about your child's spiritual walk, heart, or success, than you do. The pull of your heart toward your child drives you to give up your own way quickly, seeking Him for answers. All blessings flow from seeking Him. The less we challenge ourselves, the less we seek Him.

There are many reasons to say no to homeschooling, but don't let insecurity be one of them! Our insecurity is a sign that our eyes are on ourselves, rather than on Him.

~ Peter's AWANA verse teacher told Peter that he was missed last week. My kids were all absent due to Mary's illness; she was too nauseous to ride in the car. Peter smiled shyly as he told us. I felt so blessed I had to plant kisses on that soft cheek. Praise God for a ten-year-old who still lets me plant kisses! And praise God for loving AWANA helpers.

~ Paul said that one girl, Loralee, really loved the foamy Valentine he'd designed. She told him she would use it as a Christmas ornament every year, remembering that he gave it to her. No romanticism here, just one child showing appreciation for another. He really worked hard on his Valentines and they were very special. "They all liked the Valentines, Mommy. I didn't know they liked me so much. I thought I was just normal, like everyone else." Praise God for little Loralee, who made my boy feel so special. He will remember that his hard work blessed; he' ll remember that it feels great to be a blessing.

The power of Love, expressed through words and action, always amazes. For another testimony to the power of Love, read this: http://blog.compassion.com/equipped-for-the-future-from-cry-baby-to-respected-leader/

~ Daddy gets home at 7:00 PM and we're alone with Beth for an hour on AWANA night, before he leaves to pick up the others and I put Beth to bed. That time blesses all three of us. She soaks up the extra parental love and attention, charming and blessing Mommy and Daddy. Her daddy is such a treasure to her!

Loving Difficult People

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Do you ever think of this verse when a child tries your patience?

Every mother deals with a difficult child at times, especially in the toddler, preschool, pre-teen, and teen years. I have three impulse-normal children who occasionally misbehave, and a fourth who sends me to my knees daily. A lot of space could be wasted here explaining how irritating and relentless ADHD children can be, but that still wouldn't put you in my shoes. I keep most of the ugliness unpublished, choosing instead to highlight his heart--a heart that blesses me tremendously.

Yesterday Peter did a myriad of irritating things. Around 4 PM he came in with snowboots on, tracking thick mud from the garden area, all over the entryway and all the way down the hall. 

Already emotionally exhausted, I let loose:

"I don't understand how you could do such a thing! Even my three- and five-year-olds know better! When can I count on you to use your head? What. is. the. matter. with. you?!

After my shameful display of indignation, I gave him a damp towel and the Resolve carpet cleaner.

Then, heart pounding, I escaped to my room and locked the door. Incredibly convicted, I slumped to the floor.

How can I do this, Father? He can be so unlovable, so irritating. How can anyone do this? How can my words be love- and mercy-filled, despite so many days full of this and worse?

His lack of impulse control continues to be a serious matter. He knew he would mess up the carpet, certainly. But without proper impulse control, he can't quickly change his course. He had a question he wanted answered and that's all he could focus on at that moment--finding me and getting his answer.

He doesn't set out to irritate me, or to disappoint me. That's not his heart at all.

And yet he does irritate and induce stress for all of us, sometimes for hours a day. The smallest things set him off.

I see his sweet heart, his imagination, his unique gifts. I feel the blessing of him. But so often it's as easy to despise him as love him.

As I pleaded, God put this verse in my head...while we were sinners, Christ died for us. He encouraged me to handle Peter by rephrasing this same verse: 

While he tracked in mud, Christ died for him. 

While he bullied his brother, Christ died for him.

While he made his sister cry, Christ died for him.

While he stomped around and raged, Christ died for him.

While he fought me over school, Christ died for him.

While he asked the same question relentlessly, Christ died for him.

While he stole my peace, Christ died for him.

Jesus didn't want to suffer and be abandoned on that cross, anymore than I want to raise a difficult child. 

We can't extend grace and mercy toward difficult people, unless we view them as Jesus does. When we look through our own flawed lens, of course they don't deserve our love. They deserve our condemnation. Our wrath. For they steal our peace, our time, and in some cases, our health. 

We all have difficult people placed strategically in our lives.

We are called to take the cup, as Jesus did. I can pound my fists all I want, but the thing is, Peter is here to sanctify me. 

We need to pray thus:

Lord, help me to love as you do. While we were sinners, you died for us. Help me to die to myself and be a grace-filled lover. Thank you for placing _________ in my life to sanctify me. Help me to give up my anger and indignation, and instead, to heap blessings (grace gifts) onto ____________. 

In your name I pray, Amen.

And God, thank you for chocolate and may I not run out of it.

If you live with an abuser, you're not called to stay. Get to safety. If you live with a drug- or alcohol-addicted person, you're not called to enable. If you live with a misbehaving child, you're not called to give up on discipline.

We must discipline in love, with grace-filled words, rather than with angry, insulting words. We must forgive, letting go of tight-fisted anger because it poisons our relationship with God and prevents us from loving our neighbor. 

John 13:34
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.


Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

photo credit

A Child's Prayers

I asked the children to update their prayer jars this morning. Few things bless me more than their prayers.

The last time we updated their jars, Peter put in a prayer asking God to provide money for us to visit our Compassion children. It surfaced a few weeks after I told the boys a story from the Compassion blog, detailing one sponsor's visit. We kept praying it all these weeks, and then yesterday we got a Compassion e-mail telling us that an El Salvador sponsor trip is scheduled for October, 2012, costing $2,650 per person for the entire 7-day trip. It could be just a coincidence, but we all wonder what God is up to. Could we be so blessed? It would take a miracle for even one of us to go, but we know He is big enough. May it be so, Lord!

We recently received a pamphlet telling us more about Nelson, our 7-year-old child who lives in El Salvador. Gangs and violence are a major problem where he lives, and many children fall into this lifestyle in exchange for regular meals. Nelson has no father in his life, so it would be such a blessing for my husband to go and speak Life and Love into Nelson's heart.

A child's prayers come straight from the Holy Spirit. I strongly believe this!

Peter

- That animals will come to my shelter (he made a lean-to with wood boards so birds, squirrels, and chipmunks can get out of the rain and snow).

- That Joey at AWANA will become a Christian.

- Bless the church teachers and keep them from getting sick.

- That my leaves will make compost quickly.

- For Jayden's father to be a good Christian father.

- Please help Matt and his family find a church they are comfortable with.

Mary


- Please help Raphael to have good meals and have a good night's sleep with no bad dreams.

- Please help Divya to have nice dreams and wake up to a lovely morning and have a bow for her hair.

- Please help Nelson to have a nice bed and a TV to watch movies and enough food until we can visit them.

- Please help Divya, Raphael, and Nelson to become Christians and know Jesus.

- Please help them to have a nice house with lights.

Paul


- For discernment for our family member and for her boyfriend to become a Christian

- For the AWANA father with the unsafe job to come home safely every night.

- For Jayden to stop using the computer late into the night and for his Dad to stop too. (A little boy at AWANA told Paul that he and his dad were playing a computer game until 2 in the morning. The mother was very mad at the father about it. I don't know if our boys completely understood the tragedy in this, but husband and me found it profoundly sad. Computer-game addiction is very powerful for those involved. We are losing a lot of good men to it.)

- Please bless the new Pastor at the AWANA church. Bless his ministry.

Children have so much to teach us! I pray that we mothers, despite floors needing sweeping and laundry needing folding, stop to really know their hearts--to speak life and love into them. It feels good when laundry's caught up, but what could be better than a child's heart seeking Him? There's no comparing that joy to anything. We must daily die to ourselves to separate the eternal from the temporal.

God has us in our homes all day not to be housekeepers, but to be heartkeepers.

photo credit

Praises

Hebrews 13:15
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.

~ A sign of wellness when Miss Mary declares, "May I have more of that yummy oatmeal? Yummy, yummy for my tummy!" Thank you, Lord, for her wellness, and for the precious week I concentrated on knowing her heart better. Middle children can easily be forgotten, especially when the oldest and youngest are special needs. Mary and Paul need special attention. Her illness was His way of meeting her heart needs. I can't notice every heart need myself, but I can pray that my mothering honors him and hurts no one. He is faithful to parent through us.

~  A sweet little girl brushing Teddy Bear's teeth, covering him up, and adding a pillow.

~ Ordering used Sonlight American History novels/books and having my kids amuse themselves the whole while. We have plenty on hand for World History, but needed more selections for American History. Buying used is a time-consuming headache. Usually the kids interrupt every five minutes, sending me into a nervous frenzy as I try to concentrate on what website I just visited and what books they listed and what I already purchased. But this last time, His grace reigned.

~ A husband who understands how hard daily mothering is. "Honey, you have more daily stress and pressures than most mothers; just handling Peter can be frighteningly difficult." Being understood makes all the difference. Both of us have bodily signs of stress and we know it's time to come up with a multi-faceted battle plan, by His grace and wisdom.

~ Mary picked up the stomach virus from AWANA Cubbies about two weeks ago (her Wednesday night preschool church class). The incubation period is about 5 days and so far, the rest of us seem to have escaped The 2012 Stomach Virus From Hades! Praise God! We haven't seen the likes of it around here since April, 2006, when I was 3 months pregnant with Mary. I remember that month well. Three days after the boys, ages 2 and 4, were fully recovered, we went on a family outing and had to get McDonald's hamburgers because we'd missed dinner. A few hours later both boys threw up from the grease in the french fries. I learned my lesson then and will give Mary no fatty/greasy foods for a full five days.

~ Beautiful women writing beautiful words to inspire me, awe me, and send me to my knees in prayer.

~ The van now has a working driver's-side door handle and a working ignition keyhole. And a radiator that doesn't continually need fluid.

~ Sunshine and a winter mild enough to get the kids outside regularly

~ Paul getting one side all green on his Rubik's Cube

~ A green crayon made its way into the dryer, staining many garments in the 80-minute cycle. Thanks to a Good Housekeeping tip advising me to wash the whole load again in hot water and soap and a cup of baking soda, all is well.

~ Valentine kits from Walmart that resulted in beautiful Valentines for the kids to give out at AWANA. And enough chocolate left over for the Momma and Poppa here. Now that's something to smile about.

~ When my husband hugs me long, I can feel the tension release. One thing we definitely need is more hugging time. Husbands are such a grace!


~ I ordered and received a Compassion Sunday packet to present at my church. I'm praying for the courage  to speak before a couple hundred people.

~ A letter from India. Divya has a quilt to share with her family and a new dress. Praise God!


~ I don't have anything to share for Caldecott Medal Monday. Nothing's really captured me in that category lately. The committee seems to choose illustrations they like, rather than what kids might like. Here are a few we've loved lately, for both the paintings or photos, and the storylines. One Magical Day;  The Handiest Things In the World:  How Big is The World?

Her Smile

Deuteronomy 7:9 
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.

 Her smile is back!