The Parenting Dance

Mother and Child by a River with Wild Roses
Mildred Butler, 1900

Trying to keep my three year old from using her injured (inner) wrist is a full time job. I can take up regular blogging again after her stitches come out next weekend. The wrist is an area that naturally gets a lot of movement and I have to watch her activity level closely to achieve the best possible healing. We are so thankful her veins weren't involved! The scene could have been far worse.

Last Thursday, June 7, she bent down slightly to look at a critter and lost her balance on the way up, because of her arthritic knees. She used a glass critter cage to try and break her fall. (10-gallon fish tank, dry, empty, but turned on its side by Paul to allow some bees to escape). Her wrist went right through the glass, shattering the cage and giving her a nasty skin flap wound, which needed four stitches. It was very close to veins but didn't hit any and didn't bleed much at all.

Maybe because I have a family history of anxiety--or maybe just because I'm a mom--any accident makes me anxious for weeks. I begin to feel as though I'm helpless in protecting my family. My mind switches to overdrive as it considers all the possible mishaps.

While I'm anxious this time too, I also feel a certain assurance from the Lord regarding Beth's condition. Her balance may not be right until her arthritis goes into permanent remission. She is always at greater risk of injury. But the Lord protected her. I feel as though he'll let her stumble, but not fall--so to speak. There may be more scary scenes, but I must trust Him to again protect her.

I can try harder to keep any glass or metal out of her playing environment, but I can't go overboard and take childhood joys away. She needs to fully live, regardless of her arthritis.

Parenting is as much about letting go, as it is about conscientiousness. It's a fine, delicate dance. It's clinging to God, the true owner of my children, and trusting His plans.

It's so hard. And such a privilege.

The greatest mothering blessing comes to those who lay it all at His feet. When we take it all back--the full weight of it--we fail and make ourselves, and our children, miserable.

If mothering is exhausting you, as it has me lately, maybe our sin is in thinking it all depends on us?

1) Pray much. 2) Point the way to Him. These two things, we must do.

Prayer Time: Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of children, for the gift of mothering. Help us to relinquish control over to you, as we parent the children you so graciously trust us with. May we remain in You, so we can point the way. Heal us of anxiety and stress over outcomes, whether for next week, or for the next decade. Teach us to lay it all at your feet. Come alongside us and teach us to pray, and to point the way. May we never crowd You out, as we seek to give the best to our children. You are the best.


In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

Today's Blessings

Blessings spill here every day. I'm so grateful for the Lord's faithfulness in providing grace and wonder.

First, my cousin came and fixed our leaky shower. The sight of Mommy in the tub filled my children with giggles for three days. "Mommy! Adults don't take baths!"

One day my three year old stripped down and invaded my bath, singing Barney's song: "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?"

Then she preceded to help me rinse my hair.

As sweet as I found that serenade, and as much as I'll remember it forever, baths use up a lot more water and more time. I'm so tickled to be back to showers.

Another blessing? Paul, who has earned more chore money than any of the four, heard the Ice Cream Truck and decided it would be a good use of a portion of his hard-earned money. Usually I would object, but this is his money.

He stopped hearing the singing truck and grew disheartened. He promptly prayed, and seeing his downtrodden countenance, I took pity and prayed as well.

Fifteen minutes later the Lord provided. Paul had begun to loose faith. I kissed him and told him that Jesus loved him. The ice cream truck coming back was a sure sign that his hard work on chores was pleasing to the Lord.

My excited children, all laden with chore money, partook of ice cream truck favors for the second time in their young lives. I would think that the ice cream in our freezer tastes far better, but you wouldn't know it by their cheery smiles.

Lastly, when the boys expressed interest in baking something, I suggested searching for recipes with Cheerios, since we had extra boxes.

Oh, these bars! So delicious.

Betty Crocker No-Bake Cereal Bars  print recipe here



Ingredients

1 cup light corn syrup

1cup sugar

1 1/4cups peanut butter

6cups Cheerios® cereal

1bag (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups)

Procedure

Step 1

Lightly butter 13x9-inch pan. In 4- to 5-quart Dutch oven, heat corn syrup and sugar to boiling over medium-high heat, stirring constantly. Cook until sugar is dissolved; remove from heat. Add 1 cup of the peanut butter; stir until smooth. Add cereal; mix well. Immediately press in buttered pan. 

Step 2

In 2-quart saucepan over low heat, melt chocolate chips with remaining 1/4 cup peanut butter, stirring constantly. Spread evenly over bars. Refrigerate about 30 minutes or cool completely at room temperature until chocolate is set. For bars, cut into 9 rows by 4 rows. 


And what's better than a Psalm to go with a little praise and thanksgiving?

Psalm 107:1-9

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.


 

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, 

those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south.
 
Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.


 

He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

Prayer Time: Dear Father, Thank you for your faithfulness and lovingkindness. You fill us to the brim with blessing and love. Thank you for my cousin, his skill, his help. Bless him in every way. Thank you for blessing Paul with an ice cream favor, and for building his faith. Thank you for confirming for him that you listen and answer prayer...that you love him and seek to bless him. Thank you for my boys' work in the kitchen. Thank you for "filling the hungry with good things", both spiritual and material. We love you. We worship you. May our lives bring you glory.

In Jesus name, Amen.


P.S.
Later this same day, Beth cut her wrist on a glass critter cage, meaning we spent three hours in emergency. It was a skin flap wound. They did their best to repair it, using four stitches, but a bit of skin stayed behind in the cage so it won't be the best looking spot on her arm. Good thing we have lines on our wrists anyway, to mask any scar. She did well--her strength is a miracle--until we came home at 10:00 PM, at which time she completely fell apart, along with one of her siblings (who can't take any change). As exhausted and disheartened as I feel right now, I know there will be grace in the morning. Grace enough that we'll all find many blessings to count. There will be many stories read, and lots of cuddles. A day to just be together, nurturing one another.

Trouble in this Life

Photographic Print: Worried Man
by Andre Burian

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

People's New Testament Commentary on John 16:33: Be of good cheer. The world can only afflict for a season; it is a conquered world; Christ has overcome it.

Beth's appointments went well yesterday. Her doctor, prepared when she walked in to push the cancer drug, saw that Beth's swelling was considerably down, and that Beth could jump on both legs, straighten them, and walk reasonably well.

She responded, "You must have poured on the prayer." What a relief and thank you for praying along with us!

Beth's white blood cell count was elevated twice in a row (Feb. and late April), which usually indicates infection. We were sick frequently in late winter, early spring; Beth suffered three colds that I remember--one accompanied by viral bronchitis. She also had two dental cavities and seasonal allergies. I'm hoping all these things, in combination with increased swelling in her knees during those months, elevated her white blood cell counts (between 4,000 and 11,000 is normal; her's were around 24,000). Leukemia can cause an elevation too--one very good reason not to ignore abnormal readings. We'll have the blood test repeated soon. 

Her arthritis-associated eye inflammation is gone. Again, thank you for praying.

Her strasbismus (lazy eyes) have worsened (unrelated to arthritis). If her glasses for an astigmatism don't correct the strasbismus by the end of summer, she'll need surgery to straighten her gaze. Her ophthalmologist is famous for this; people from all over the world come to him for strasbismus surgery, so if she needs it, she's in good hands. While an uncorrected astigmatism can lead to lazy eye, it's most likely inherited in Beth's case. My paternal grandmother had a bad case of it.

Of my four children Beth seems to have gotten the worse of the inherited conditions, Peter excepted.

I was on cloud nine for a time after the appointment, but sad for all those who left children's hospital the same day, with heartbreaking news. Each visit there I'm reminded that so many children have serious issues. Every parent I see potentially spent time crying themselves to sleep, or sickening themselves with worry. So leaving with good news for Beth is bittersweet.

How does God choose who gets the bad news, and who gets the good? Do you ever wonder that?

All illness and disease is a result of the sin curse, but God can change the course of a body's inherited or acquired condition. Prayer can change the course, but only if God decides that healing from prayer will bring more hearts to him than the divine grace to endure.

He's all about bringing hearts to himself, and he desires that same focus from us.

My troubles don't end with Beth's conditions, or with Peter's. The front storm glass door no longer latches properly. It was bad for awhile, but now it's worse. And yesterday we realized our shower is leaking; the shower pipes need to be replaced. Taking a bath this morning instead and trying to wash my hair that way? Not convenient. And don't even ask about the toilets, one of which badly needs replaced.

So much of life is not convenient. And trouble comes in batches. You've probably noticed that? Perhaps this makes His lessons sink in better?

I have a side note for you on the trouble we bring on ourselves. Not all trouble is random. When my husband lost his job in 2009, he found part-time work fairly quickly, and then a second part-time job. But still, we could only make credit card payments for one year after that. Then we had to default in order to eat, make the house payment, and keep up with repairs on our home and our old cars. Two years later there are lawsuits to contend with. Even for a balance as low as $1200, a credit card agency will sue, depending on the company. Some choose to sell the bad debt instead. Don't believe it if you hear they don't bother suing.

When things get tight financially, God will provide for your needs, but not for your credit balances. He allows them to default to discipline you. He hates debt and you'd do well to pay all your balances down to zero. His discipline in this area is humiliating and extremely stressful. And avoidable!

Now back to my main theme regarding how to overcome more general, random trouble--not that anything is really random.

How Believers handle the inconveniences and heartaches of life determines how many hearts draw close to Him. No, God doesn't need us to save souls. But He prefers to use us. And why? When using us gets messy and comes with delays? 

For His glory. His glory is magnified through His work in us.

Whatever troubles you have, take heart and be willing to say to the Lord, as Mary did:

Luke 1:38
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her. 

In the midst of trouble we are never without comfort. Because of Christ's blood, which reconciled us to our Father, we have the Comforter. The Holy Spirit. Draw close to Him and know the comfort that is your inheritance. Don't leave it uncollected.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

Multitude Monday and Psalm 34

Can't help but wish we had a walk in the garden to look forward to,
instead of doctor appointments.

I find myself up in the middle of the night, seeking comfort

My Beth has two appointments Monday afternoon. One is with her rheumatologist and the other with her ophthalmologist. The last check on her eyes, about three weeks ago, revealed just a little inflammation in her right eye (part of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis in 25% of cases), so she had to go back on the steroid eye drops. At this appointment we check to see if the inflammation is gone. 

And the rheumatology appointment is her routine, every-six-weeks arthritis check-up (she has the disease in both knees). At the last one a cancer drug was mentioned, which we are opposed to. Since that appointment Beth's visual swelling has been down, and she's suffered no flares, thank the Lord. I am hoping the drug will not be mentioned again.

These appointments always spark fear in my heart. It's hard to relax and let go, since so much rides on what the doctors determine. And attending two back-to-back appointments with four kids in tow? Not exactly a picnic. 

And what better comfort than Psalms, and giving thanks for His gracious gifts?

Psalm 34 is indeed a gift. I urge you to share it with the brokenhearted in your life, and with all who need comfort.

Scripture in red, my words in blue.

Psalm 34

¹I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

² My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

³ Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

It's hard to lament when praise is on our lips. We can't grumble or fear when we praise. Praising God? It's the answer to every problem.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

Yes, he always answers! How glorious is His love and faithfulness!

⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

Yes, this is so true. Those who pray, who read the Word faithfully, they have something special. Radiance from being in His presence. Don't forsake His presence; it's your lifeblood.

⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Taste and see? It means to spend time with the Lord. To know him intimately.

⁹ Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Yes, yes! He is enough.

¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

¹² Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,

¹³ keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.

¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

¹⁶ the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

Not only must we spend time with the Lord, but fear Him as well. To fear him is to know he is a righteous God who detests sin and will not tolerate it. To fear him is to obey him. And we must always confess our sin. Yes, he died on the cross to redeem us--we are forgiven--but we continue to sin and that sin needs to be confessed. Don't assume the cross means we never have to humble ourselves before the Lord and loved ones, to confess wrong deeds and a wrong heart condition. Let us not keep sin hidden, so that our prayers are not hindered. 

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

He became man and He knows our limitations, our afflictions. He loves us and is faithful to hurt with us and for us. Hallelujah!

¹⁹ A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;

Does this mean He takes all our troubles away? Not always and not immediately. To be delivered from something could very well mean to be given the strength to rise above it...to live for eternity.

²⁰ he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

²² The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.


Prayer Time: Dear Heavenly Father, once again I must thank you for the Psalms. How they heal and make my heart and soul soar. Thank you for your grace and mercy, for your faithfulness. Thank you for always answering our cries. Thank you for being close to the brokenhearted. Thank you for delivering us from our troubles, if only in our hearts and minds. Thank you for the redemptive quality of praise and thanksgiving. May it renew my friends and family also, today. May you be with them intimately. May you draw them to yourself. In your Son's name I pray, Amen. 

Giving more thanks today...

~ for Paul and Peter, who finally graduated from Momma's School of Baking. I have given up control and let them loose in the kitchen. No longer do I stand by and make sure just the right amount of flour and other ingredients make it into the bowls. They love the freedom and every second or third day, they bake something. So far we've enjoyed chocolate chip muffins, pumpkin pie, brownies, strawberry muffins, and now, today, snicker doodles

~ for my littlest girl, whose hugs and cuddles soothe my soul.

~ for my husband, who never has harsh words for me.

~ for opportunities to minister to Lexi, our new neighborhood friend.

~ for getting caught up on the folding.

~ for boys and little girls who fold their own socks and underwear.

~ for sunshine and cooler temperatures.

~ for a wonderful variety of birds at our feeders.

~ for a marriage rooted in peace and charity.

~ for my boys becoming consistent in their personal devotions. Trust the Holy Spirit and the Word. They will beckon a child's heart, if we provide the opportunity. Make it mandatory at first. You'll find that it grows on them.

~ for Peter, who remarked today, when Lexi went briefly home to check in with her mom, which she must do every thirty minutes: "That's good that she checks in with her mom when she's supposed to, isn't it Mommy? It makes me feel good when kids obey their parents."

Lexi is in the middle of a two-week restriction from using her bike, for going home too late one night (not from here). I think that really made an impression on her. Once today Paul even reminded her to go check in, which made me chuckle inside.

~ for a God who always provides, though on paper, it seems impossible.

~ for the Book of Jonah. It's taught me more about mercy than any other Bible lesson.

~ for little girls who sit on the couch with a book in their hands, though they can't yet read.

~ for the wonders of intercessory prayer. Think you got troubles? Start praying for others and feel the wonder of relief. A trouble is not a trouble unless we focus on it intently. Praying for others is an outward focus, rather than an inward one. And outward focus heals. No, it's not avoidance. Once you pray about your trouble, letting it go means to stop focusing on it. You've given it to God and that's all you can do at present. If He wants you to do more, he'll tell you. In the meantime, interceed for others and your heart will grow in charity and gratitude. Prayer is powerful in so many ways! So redemptive, so beautiful.

Linking with Ann for Multitude Monday.

Something About Jonah, Part 1

This week at the dinner table we read the Book of Jonah. I found it so intriguing, mostly because of the bizarre ending, that I also studied it during my personal devotional times. I'd like to go through it together here, as well (four chapters total).

Unlike most of the prophet books, this one focuses almost entirely on Jonah the man, rather than on his ministry. He prophesied about seventy-five years after the prophet Elisha, to the twelve Northern Tribes called Israel, at a time when Israel was regaining some of its power and prosperity.



After Jeroboam II came to power the nation of Israel began to flourish. Several successful wars were fought, defeating Syria, Moab and Ammon, thereby bringing great wealth to the nation.

Jeroboam II followed the evil ways of his father, Jeroboam I, in continuing the idolatrous worship of the golden calves. Worship of God occurred too, at Dan, Bethel, Gilgal, and Beersheba, but the Prophet Amos, a contemporary of Jonah, declared these vain ritual acts devoid of any righteous intent. At the time of Jonah the Northern Kingdom was 100 years into idolatry

Jonah 1

1 The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

What God was asking here? No small order. Nineveh (capital of Assyria) was Israel's worst enemy at the time. It was a grotesquely wicked nation, guilty of horrific war crimes against Israel. All of Israel wanted justice against Ninevah--their enemy destroyed at the hands of their righteous God.

3 But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish . He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.


Tarshish was probably Spain, a land as far away from Ninevah as possible--the end of the known world at the time. Paying the fare and leaving his family were great sacrifices, obviously. We will come to find out later that Jonah feared Ninevah would repent, and that the Lord, full of compassion and abiding in love, would have mercy on them and spare them. This wild mercy? Instead of total destruction? It didn't sit well with Jonah, to say the least. He was willing to resign from the ministry and leave his family and friends--give up everything--to prevent God's mercy.

What a piece of work...right? A total jerk. Who runs from God's assignments? And who has a heart so hard? You and I and all of mankind. We are all Jonahs. 

4 Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. 5 All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship.


But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. 6 The captain went to him and said, “How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe he will take notice of us so that we will not perish.”

This storm?  It was the first miracle in the Book of Jonah. The sailors, all professionals, had never seen anything like it. It struck fear into their hearts and they knew it had to come from some angry god.

7 Then the sailors said to each other, “Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity.” They cast lots and the lot fell on Jonah. 8 So they asked him, “Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What kind of work do you do? Where do you come from? What is your country? From what people are you?”


Casting lots was a pagan custom. Miracle number two--the lot fell on Jonah.


9 He answered, “I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land. ”


10 This terrified them and they asked, “What have you done?” (They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he had already told them so.)


11 The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, “What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?”

12 “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”


Jonah, about this time, felt his own death inevitable. His angry Lord's judgement? Imminent, so why drag the sailors down with him? While he had no mercy for the 120,000 pagans in Ninevah, for these few pagans, he did.

13 Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before. 14 Then they cried out to the Lord, “Please, Lord, do not let us die for taking this man’s life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, Lord, have done as you pleased.” 15 Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. 16 At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows to him.


Who comes out better here? The prophet, a man of God who, unlike most of mankind, actually gets to talk to the One, True, Living God? Or the pagan sailors? Sadly, the pagan sailors, who had mercy on Jonah for as long as they could. Instead of immediately throwing him over, they did their best to row back to land. Contrast their mercy, as pagans, with Jonah's heart toward Nineveh.

17 Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.

Where else in the Bible do we hear of three days and three nights? 

Matthew 12:38-40

Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.”

39 He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40 For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.

Many Bible scholars believe Jonah actually died in the fish, and that the Lord brought him back to life. Some claim the fish was a whale, while others, who remind us that whales can't open their mouths that wide, believe it was a large fish. I believe it was miracle number 3. God fashioned the fish especially for Jonah's salvation. 

My Lord? He didn't need to find an existing animal for his task. He is the Almighty, Living God, who created all. He needed a special fish on demand? No problem. Sometimes Bible scholars need to get their heads out of their books and put their eyes on God, who walks on water, opens vast seas, makes water appear from rocks, heals the sick and the crippled, rains manna in the desert, makes all things new, and conquers death!


Join me next week for Jonah 2 and 3.

Linking with my new friend Wendy today, who lives in Scotland, UK.