Bathing in His Peace When Life's Messy

Some days my Beth's needs feel so overwhelming and I wonder how we can keep up and be responsible for so much. One day we go for flu shots so we won't spread anything to her and then rush to speech and physical therapy and we're not back before 1:00 PM, and then school to squeeze in before our AWANA baking ministry begins in a frenzy to have treats out of the oven and cooled and packaged before 6:00 PM.

And Paul? Who's afraid of professional haircuts and sunflowers and throwing up, he keeps failing hearing tests from ear wax plastered to his eardrum, causing slurred speech and the dropping of syllables and a regular speech nightmare. When you can't hear well you don't know how your own speech sounds and you get careless and develop bad habits. And it becomes one more responsibility I have. One more pressure. I have to fix this problem, too, I tell myself, and how can I keep up and still live sanely and what if the wax keeps blocking again for the rest of his life?

And I say to God, haven't I tried so hard to keep my children healthy? Nursing them far beyond the normal and giving them the best of the best foods? And guarding their souls and their minds as I do their sleep habits? Can't I be awarded for effort, God. What does effort mean to you?

And Peter who is driven so nuts by OCD and tics that the doctor thinks a period of the smallest Prozac dose might help as the standard OCD treatment. And I want to say no but I see my son suffering and getting muscle aches from repetitive tic motions and his mind driven nuts by that sinister OCD voice. And every time he tells me his jaw is sore from one of his tics, and every time he lifts his leg up high as though he's going over a fence, making people stare at him, I want to scream to God....Enough already!

Most adults know that stress kills. Many things arise from it and how many of our issues were born from the seed of stress, I wonder? The headaches, the OCD and tics, the anxieties, the swollen joints? How many could be relieved if stress were lessened? And how can I lessen stress when every day has enough trouble of its own and I'm never enough?

My husband riles from an awful shingles rash making his nerves scream, and still spreading...something we know arose as a post-traumatic stress event. And do you know what he tells me recently? "I think most of my problem is that I just won't accept the burdens God's given us." 

Yes, I want to shout. Yes, you fight God. Why do you do that and isn't it so futile and how many years will you fight Him?

I don't fight God as a rule, but my hormones fight Him one week out of every month and I can't stop those chemicals. Those weeks I understand my husband better because I feel what he feels all the time. I don't know where control goes those weeks and please excuse me for my awful, ugly, lamenting posts sometimes?

On the same day I think I'll bust, I read about women in India selling their bodies for food and I want to cry about their pain and my self-centeredness. What do I have to be overwhelmed about?

Me, overwhelmed by speech homework and therapy homework and new dangerous drugs and shingles and tics, when someone's soul is being tortured, used, abused. Someone's soul. The souls of many women, no different than me in their hopes and dreams and their flesh and blood.

Ann Voskamp and her daughter, Hope, help these Indian women with the aid of a company called Freeset,  which works to save women from human trafficking by paying them well to make products instead of being the product. These women are not only given a paycheck that doesn't shame, but they get Jesus too and experience the best freedom of all.

And do you know what they feel? Gratitude.  About being a child of God. They aren't asking for trouble-free lives. They're rejoicing as recipients of the Greatest Gift. Communion with our Heavenly Father and the promise of Eternity with Him.



I strive as a mother and wife and I expect something from my striving. Some payment I guess...like an easier life?

But the Holy Spirit steers me toward something better than striving. He whispers it slow, as I drive home from a day of appointments. How about open arms for all that I give...both the beautiful and the messy? When you let go of your striving there's room for Me to shine.

I want to do that for you, Lord. Yes, I want to live the better life. The one lived in submission to you, giving thanks always in all circumstances.



So today I study verses about God's will and God's promises. Won't you read and contemplate them with me? Letting God's perfect peace wash over you? In a state of peace, we can give thanks with a sincere heart.

First we bathe in God's word and offer Him our sincere prayers, and then we bathe in His peace.

God's Will

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.

Mark 3:34-35 And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”

2 Corinthians 8:1-6 We want you to know, brothers, about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia, for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints —and this, not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us. Accordingly, we urged Titus that as he had started, so he should complete among you this act of grace.

1 Peter 3:17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.

1 Peter 4:19 Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 John 2:16-17 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.  And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

Philippians 2:13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

1 Peter 2:15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

God's Promises

2 Peter 1:4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.

Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Philippians 4:19 

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 1:33

But all who listen to me will live in peace,
untroubled by fear of harm.”

John 14:27

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Romans 8:37-39

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Matthew 11:28-29 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Romans 8:27 and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Isaiah 30:21 And your ears will hear a word behind you, "This is the way, walk in it," whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

John 6:38-40 "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. "And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day. "For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him, may have eternal life; and I Myself will raise him up on the last day."

Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

peaceful images here

Multitude Monday: When Your Situation is Impossible

Isaiah 54:8-10

In overflowing anger for a moment
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.

 “This is like the days of Noah to me:
as I swore that the waters of Noah
should no more go over the earth,
so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,
and will not rebuke you.

For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

The stress over medical bills, it's great. All encompassing and no end in sight. Health care isn't something we can afford, even if we had insurance. Monthly insurance money taken out of a paycheck would mean the house payment would get behind and the food? Less abundant for sure.

I don't know when it will end and we are aging. Husband has a painful case of shingles from the heavy burdens. He tells me that when he walks through the door at 7:00 PM, dealing with four children is so very hard, though he loves them. Children take patience and focus and he doesn't have either right now. He has similar ADHD symptoms as my son along with depression and it's a daily battle, sprinkled with some graces. And he won't go to the doctor for depression treatment and I know you can't force someone to get help.

I stay up late doing dishes and I don't have any answers and I wonder if life will always be so hard? I think of the impossibility of my life circumstances and I feel like drowning. So much stress, so few answers and childcare in this country is a shameful mess and I won't put my kids in care and my husband can't handle being a house husband, nor would he agree to be. 

As I wipe and fold, sweep and straighten, I watch the clock move to 2:00 AM and I wonder if I just try harder, maybe the ADHD, tics, OCD, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, the depression and the anger and the bills....they will all go away?

And then on cue, as if I'd said my part and it was God's turn, my Heavenly Father whispers as I work, telling me that he loves me and he can make beauty from ashes and I only have to cling to Him and obey his whispers, not try harder. 

And He said this as well:

The more impossible your situation? The more my plan amazes and the more my glory shines.

And my mind? It grasps this concept yet again and I remember. Oh, yes. This is all good. My impossible situation is a gift and every impossible situation that includes Him, is gift.

If you have Him you have a bonus card that cancels out all the hard and the messy. We can adjust our minds so that we understand anew what our responsibility is, and what God's is. 

I must:

Pray, worship, read, obey. 

Pray, worship, read, obey. 

Pray, worship, read, obey.

And when I remember this as my pleasure and my job, I can give thanks for every grace he showers upon me, because I am in my rightful place.

I am his servant and his loved one, his benefactor and his redeemed. Why should I fear? Why not rejoice instead? For the thing my soul craves, I already have.

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

The covenant of peace is mine to share in. And yours! Hallelujah.

Giving Thanks Today:

•  It is raining yet again and the graces? They rain down and he Reigns and we are comforted.

•  The knowledge that my husband is in this till the end, no matter how hard.
• He thinks he's a poor candidate to parent four children, but I know God thinks differently and has big plans for a glorious outcome.
• A baby to hold in the church nursery.
• An autistic child to pray for in the nursery and his angry father to pray for too.
• Sons growing in maturity.
• A cousin much prayed for coming to the Lord, at age 51!
• A new lady friend in the nursery.
• The Jesus Storybook Bibles and curriculum kit are ready for me to pick up.
• A Jesus' Birthday party planned to give out the bibles and introduce the Children's Bible Study.
  
• My mom finally getting better from the pneumonia.
• I want Beth to get a flu shot before starting the immuno-suppressant chemo drug, so I postponed the first dose by a week and a half. Please pray that the oral dose doesn't cause nausea? If so, we would have to give her Zofran for nausea, or go to the needle for administration, which would be a disaster with a needle-sensitive 4-year-old.
• A sweet friend providing socks and underwear for my boys and us feeling so blessed every time we fold the whites together. No more holey socks and bleach-stretched underwear!
• I went to the thrift store to find the boys a dress shirt for a choir performance. I found a Vera Wang bra, a Victoria Secret's bra, and a Vanity Fair bra, all very feminine and beautiful, like new and only a dollar each. And boy do they lift my Momma bosom good! The Lord directly told me as I tried them on and found that they fit: I love you, my daughter. I didn't plan to let those years-old bras with the wires sticking in your skin bother you another day. When my ship came in I was planning on buying new bras, but I wouldn't have been able to afford anything nice. But God had other plans and now I have 3 beautiful, well-made bras and He Has Shined Once Again.

How is He shining in your life this week?

Fruitful Fridays: His Perfect Peace

We continue our series on the Fruit of the Spirit today. Our main text for Fruitful Fridays will be Galatians 5:13-26 (ESV). In case you missed any Fruitful Friday posts, here's the line-up: 

1. Fruit of the Spirit: Introduction

2. Fruit of the Spirit: Walking With the Spirit

3. Fruit of the Spirit: Acts of the Flesh

4. Fruit of the Spirit: To Love is to Give

5. Fruit of the Spirit: The Command to Love 

6. Fruit of the Spirit: Dying to Love

Let's take a moment to review before we move on to Peace. 

The Fruit of the Spirit is a singular concept; the nine fruits work together as one. We begin our access to them when we are filled by the Holy Spirit at the moment of our salvation. He works these characteristics into our hearts as we submit our will to his after believing (giving him Lordship over our lives). We become as putty in his hands, slowly being remade into His image.

Is he your Savior and your Lord?  Lordship doesn't always closely follow salvation for many people. It's when we make him our Lord that the fruit grows ripe and sweet.

Though we're filled with the Holy Spirit upon first believing, we can still grieve the Spirit by having unconfessed sin in our lives. During unconfessed sin we're separated from God until we seek forgiveness. And the Fruit of the Spirit? Its production in our heart ceases during sin. It's not that our salvation is lost, just our fellowship with God until our confession. 

If we never get right with God again, we probably weren't saved in the first place. God is faithful to continue his good work in our sincere hearts. He makes us very uncomfortable until we confess and get back into fellowship with him. He assures that we prevail in our salvation. I will never leave you nor forsake you, saith the Lord.

How quickly our hearts bear fruit and how many detours we take along the way, depends on how closely we walk with the Spirit. 

We walk with the Spirit by:

• Praying
• Reading the Bible
• Worshiping through songs and Psalms, etc.
• Confessing sin

Let's move on to peace, of which there are three components.

1. Upward: Peace with God (salvation and continued fellowship)

2. Inward: God's peace in our soul (tranquility within, absence of fear)

3. Outward: Peace with fellow believers (living in harmony with others; being a peacemaker)

Today we will discuss peace with God and inward peace, leaving peace with fellow believers for next week.

1. Peace With God  

God is holy and righteous and cannot fellowship with sinners. For the wages of sin is death. There must be an atonement for sin via blood sacrifice (death). Jesus is the lamb that was slain and for all those who believe on Him there is no death, but reconciliation with God. The Cross bought us fellowship with God directly...beautiful one-on-one fellowship. Instead of needing to kill an animal as atonement for our sins, we simply go before the Father and confess and ask for forgiveness. We're forgiven and all is forgotten, and we're back into fellowship!

It's so easy to take fellowship and peace with God for granted; we must remember it's the greatest gift ever given. Let's preserve our awe and our thankfulness over His gift. To be assured that your Father loves you and approves of you? That's tranquility.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace, as these Scriptures teach: 

Isaiah 9:6, "...For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." 

Romans 5:1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

Luke 2:10-14 "...But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.' And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.'"

2. Inward Peace

As a Christian staying in fellowship with the Lord, we have an inner peace that surpasses all understanding. 

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

Jesus has overcome addiction, poverty, brain disorders, physical disorders, disease, chronic pain, broken relationships, materialism, grief over loss, physical and emotional abuse, and unloving parents? All the things that grieve the world, he has overcome? What does this mean? 

Friend, it means these things are temporary. They won't always be with us but He will. His victory for us is eternal life...permanent peace and a sinless soul, a body not subject to emotional or physical pain, permanent communion with Him. 



Our inner peace will remain with us through trials if we dwell on the perfect condition awaiting us. 

I've found that keeping my mind on the eternal is aided by expressing thankfulness for present gifts. Brainstorming a list of everyday graces automatically focuses my mind on Him, and not on my circumstances. Be ye thankful, the Bible commands us. Go through the mental or written exercise of acknowledging His graces.

Colossians 3:15 "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." 

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." 


John 14:27 promises the disciples, and us, that we have Jesus' peace. We may think of peace as the absence of strife and discord and the absence of troubles. Not so, says Jesus. Instead, it's a tranquility of mind arising from a sense of our justification before God. If God loves us and that can never be taken from us, what legitimate trouble do we really have?

Romans 8:28 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Yes, He loves us. He approves us. He's prepared a room for us. Our future is secure and our present is showered with graces.

His peace buys our reconciliation with God; it continues as everyday graces sprinkled over our troubles; it ends in eternity with Him.

Hallelujah!

Matthew Henry explains it thus, speaking of what Christ gives: “The peace I give is of such a nature that the smiles of the world cannot give it, nor the frowns of the world take it away.” “The gifts I give to you are not such as this world gives to its children and votaries, to whom it is kind.” The world’s gifts concern only the body and time; Christ’s gifts enrich the soul for eternity: the world gives lying vanities, and that which will cheat us; Christ gives substantial blessings, which will never fail us: the world gives and takes; Christ gives a good part that shall never be taken away. 

 

The big question is: How do we continually walk in Christs' gift of peace? 

• 1. Bend your knees in prayer 
  
  Psalm 5:3 My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up."
  
  1 Thessalonians 5:17 pray without ceasing
  
  Psalm 95:2 Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! (Praise is part of prayer.)
  
  1 Corinthians 14:15 What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also; I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also.
• 2. Regard your Bible as your lifeline 
  
  Romans 10:17 "Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
  
  2 Timothy 3:16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
  
  Psalm 119: 16 I will delight myself in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word. 
  
  Hebrews 4:12-13 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

• 3. Remain in humble submission to God.
  
  Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
  
  
  
  James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
  
  
  Luke 4:8 And Jesus answered him, “It is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and him only shall you serve.’”
  
  
  
  

• 4. Keep your thoughts on God
  
  Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is STAYED on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee."
  
  Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
  
  Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
• 5. Live a right life
  
  Psalm 37:37 "Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace."
  
  Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Prayer Time:  Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for your perfect peace. We thank you for your approval of our very souls and that nothing can separate us from your love. May we bend our knees in prayer, regard your Word as our lifeline, submit our will to you daily, keep our thoughts on you, and life a right life. Help us to preserve your peace in our lives. Help us to be thankful always in every life circumstance. Help us to examine our hearts and confess our sins, so that fellowship with you remains constant. Help us to serve you and not ourselves. We love you.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Pumpkin Pancakes, Oh Yes!

For a spiced holiday treat, combine:

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (I use white whole wheat)

2 tablespoons sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon salt 

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

a pinch of ground cloves 

In a separate bowl, stir together 

11/4 cup milk

1/2 cup canned pumpkin puree 

3 tablespoons melted butter  

1 egg

Fold mixture into dry ingredients. Melt some butter in a skillet over medium heat; pour in 1/4 cup batter for each pancake. Cook pancakes about 3 minutes per side; serve with butter and syrup or whipped cream.

Makes 8 to 10.

photo found here

Taming the House: When There's Serious Chaos

We've spent a few posts discussing strategies for taming the housekeeping beast. I'm trying to make these universal, but they're probably most relevant to homes with three or more children, and to homeschooling homes in which the family is always together at home, using the space and materials.

In our first post we covered reducing the toy clutter, setting aside a catch-up day, and utilizing 5-minute clean-ups. In our second post we covered involving children in home maintenance, via a chore system.

Up front I wrote that I hoped we could analyze our issues together. The truth is that such a low percentage of people comment on blogs (10% or less), that to have even five or ten comments, you need a fairly large audience. Knowing that, I don't expect input necessarily, but if you really have an issue driving you insane, I hope that you will comment? If my skills won't help, someone else might have the answer? Or at least someone will provide comfort, reassuring you that it's normal and will get better.

What drives you the most insane, on a recurring basis? The job of homemaker requires a lot of hats, not the least of which are the abilities to problem solve and manage others. These two skills go a long way toward taming the house and facilitating a measure of domestic serenity.

Maybe you're an organizing queen and your home is under control, but you give up sleep and leisure to keep it that way? Then you probably need to delegate and learn to manage others.

Maybe you have poor organizational skills and have no idea how to get off the frustration train of domestic chaos? Then you probably need to discipline yourself with charts and timers. Time has a way of getting away from us when we're caring for children all day. This is normal...chaos happens so fast! Resign yourself to charts and timers to stay on track with your 5-minute clean-ups, and to help divide up the chores.

The younger your children, the harder it is to feel good about the running of your home. If you have babies and toddlers right now, just take a deep breath. It does get better. I went through that stage twice with no support system, and more than once, someone walked into my house with eyebrows raised. 

Oh, well. 

Rocking and singing to your babies and snuggling your toddlers with books is so much more important. That window of prime emotional and intellectual development won't come again. Let's not miss it. Having enough love and attention from parents early on helps us open up to receive our Heavenly Father's love. And without receiving Him, we can't give love back out, sacrificially.

So focus on the eternal first. Don't let the tyranny of the moment define your legacy.

Last Friday I was at the hospital with Beth from 9:30 AM to 3:30 PM. I arrived home to find an extremely disheveled house. No 5-minute pick-ups were done, and no laundry was done (I do 3-4 loads a day in the cold, muddy seasons).

I had a choice. I could cuddle my three-year-old, who still needed me, and read a Little House book to Mary, or I could start setting the house to rights. Emotionally, I was already spent and the thought of organizing the troops for a major clean, did not appeal to me!

I cuddled my 3-year-old and read a Little House chapter book. When five-year-old Mary could no longer sit still, I held my 3 year old while reading Old Yeller to myself, a post civil-war era novel the boys would start for school the next week.

We did a little catch up on the weekend, aside from groceries and church and science experiments.

Then Monday, we had two more appointments. The house and laundry fell further behind.

Monday afternoon I was so tempted to tackle the mess myself, letting the children out to play. The thought of keeping on them and doing quality-control checks, while still doing a lot of work myself, didn't appeal to me.

But I disciplined myself and made them do their share, and when you find yourself in a similar situation, I urge you to resist the urge to do it all yourself. Spiritually speaking, what does God want here? Pampered children who make messes, knowing that Mom will come to the rescue? Or children who learn the consequences of their actions (cause and effect), and take responsibility for their mistakes?

Daddy didn't call 5-minute clean-ups and the kids ignored their own messes, simply choosing another room for further activities. Instead of blaming Daddy, I blamed them...but I didn't spend a lot of time lecturing. They should know better and the mess proved something to them: it isn't their 3-year-old sister who makes all the messes. She was gone for most of the day and down for the rest, and the house still descended into chaos.

The messier the house, the more they howl over being asking to clean. They find, and I do too, that the chaos is simply overwhelming. Where do we even start? 

Here are a few tips for taming serious chaos:

• Tackle 1 room at a time. Set out a few containers and designate one for trash, one for items that go in other rooms, and one for items that go in the current room. Work together to sort all the items into the baskets, and then designate one person to dump trash, one person to take items to their proper locations around the house, and another person to put things away in the current room.
• Put on favorite cleaning music.
• Provide an incentive. "If we finish the house by afternoon, we'll make Christmas cookies." "If you clean this room well and without complaint, you can have a treat."
• Have a clothes-folding party. I hang all our day clothes directly from the dryer, so our baskets contain only whites, linens, and pajamas. Everyone folds their own pajamas and whites, and helps with towels, and I do the sheets and mine and my husband's things. We help Beth as needed, and I'm not picky about how she folds, since these aren't day clothes we're talking about.
• Read a story during cleaning breaks, to keep grumbling at bay.

One lesson I've learned is that the more I'm away, the more chaos there is. Stay home as much as you can, especially if you homeschool. Choose your outside activities wisely. Perhaps have only one extracurricular activity going at a time, instead of allowing each child to pick one activity per season. Or pick one activity that fits all. If you have three kids and three activities going, that will be chaotic and stressful, not invigorating.  The ends don't justify the means here. The stress of busyness will create health problems, for one thing. Your meals won't be as healthy and you won't be getting adequate rest. And the family will be too separated too often, which doesn't bode well for discipling. You owe your kids love and discipleship, not the moon.

Most of all, we need to focus on the eternal and be humble, praying for guidance always. We can pray for God to reveal anything about us that will help us. Should we be asking for help but we're too proud? Are we lazy and don't want to admit it? Are we a perfectionist and we want everything to stay perfect, never letting anyone make messes and explore their interests? Are we distracted by time-wasters and failing to use our time wisely?

Let's ask God to speak to our hearts and give the answer that is right for us. He will equip us for the tasks he's set before us. Never doubt that.

Prayer Time: Dear Father, thank you for the privilege of caring for children and a home. Help us to seek your truth and your guidance. Equip us to bring you glory in how our homes and children are managed. Encourage our hearts, Lord, because this is hard work and requires many different skills. When we need help, help us to seek it in humility. Help other ladies to come alongside us, offering love, encouragement, and guidance. Thank you for all your wondrous gifts, Father. We love you.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.