Monday, December 10, 2012

Multitude Monday: When Your Situation is Impossible

Isaiah 54:8-10

In overflowing anger for a moment
I hid my face from you,
but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.

 “This is like the days of Noah to me:
as I swore that the waters of Noah
should no more go over the earth,
so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you,
and will not rebuke you.

For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

The stress over medical bills, it's great. All encompassing and no end in sight. Health care isn't something we can afford, even if we had insurance. Monthly insurance money taken out of a paycheck would mean the house payment would get behind and the food? Less abundant for sure.

I don't know when it will end and we are aging. Husband has a painful case of shingles from the heavy burdens. He tells me that when he walks through the door at 7:00 PM, dealing with four children is so very hard, though he loves them. Children take patience and focus and he doesn't have either right now. He has similar ADHD symptoms as my son along with depression and it's a daily battle, sprinkled with some graces. And he won't go to the doctor for depression treatment and I know you can't force someone to get help.

I stay up late doing dishes and I don't have any answers and I wonder if life will always be so hard? I think of the impossibility of my life circumstances and I feel like drowning. So much stress, so few answers and childcare in this country is a shameful mess and I won't put my kids in care and my husband can't handle being a house husband, nor would he agree to be. 

As I wipe and fold, sweep and straighten, I watch the clock move to 2:00 AM and I wonder if I just try harder, maybe the ADHD, tics, OCD, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, the depression and the anger and the bills....they will all go away?

And then on cue, as if I'd said my part and it was God's turn, my Heavenly Father whispers as I work, telling me that he loves me and he can make beauty from ashes and I only have to cling to Him and obey his whispers, not try harder. 

And He said this as well:

The more impossible your situation? The more my plan amazes and the more my glory shines.

And my mind? It grasps this concept yet again and I remember. Oh, yes. This is all good. My impossible situation is a gift and every impossible situation that includes Him, is gift.

If you have Him you have a bonus card that cancels out all the hard and the messy. We can adjust our minds so that we understand anew what our responsibility is, and what God's is. 

I must:

Pray, worship, read, obey. 
Pray, worship, read, obey. 
Pray, worship, read, obey.

And when I remember this as my pleasure and my job, I can give thanks for every grace he showers upon me, because I am in my rightful place.

I am his servant and his loved one, his benefactor and his redeemed. Why should I fear? Why not rejoice instead? For the thing my soul craves, I already have.

but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

The covenant of peace is mine to share in. And yours! Hallelujah.

Giving Thanks Today:

  •  It is raining yet again and the graces? They rain down and he Reigns and we are comforted.
  •  The knowledge that my husband is in this till the end, no matter how hard.
  • He thinks he's a poor candidate to parent four children, but I know God thinks differently and has big plans for a glorious outcome.
  • A baby to hold in the church nursery.
  • An autistic child to pray for in the nursery and his angry father to pray for too.
  • Sons growing in maturity.
  • A cousin much prayed for coming to the Lord, at age 51!
  • A new lady friend in the nursery.
  • The Jesus Storybook Bibles and curriculum kit are ready for me to pick up.
  • A Jesus' Birthday party planned to give out the bibles and introduce the Children's Bible Study.
  • My mom finally getting better from the pneumonia.
  • I want Beth to get a flu shot before starting the immuno-suppressant chemo drug, so I postponed the first dose by a week and a half. Please pray that the oral dose doesn't cause nausea? If so, we would have to give her Zofran for nausea, or go to the needle for administration, which would be a disaster with a needle-sensitive 4-year-old.
  • A sweet friend providing socks and underwear for my boys and us feeling so blessed every time we fold the whites together. No more holey socks and bleach-stretched underwear!
  • I went to the thrift store to find the boys a dress shirt for a choir performance. I found a Vera Wang bra, a Victoria Secret's bra, and a Vanity Fair bra, all very feminine and beautiful, like new and only a dollar each. And boy do they lift my Momma bosom good! The Lord directly told me as I tried them on and found that they fit: I love you, my daughter. I didn't plan to let those years-old bras with the wires sticking in your skin bother you another day. When my ship came in I was planning on buying new bras, but I wouldn't have been able to afford anything nice. But God had other plans and now I have 3 beautiful, well-made bras and He Has Shined Once Again.

How is He shining in your life this week?


Lisa said...

Wonderful words, my friend. I,like you, feel like I'm drowning sometimes. When will there be relief? When will He answer my tear-laced prayers? In His time, not mine. But the waiting is SO hard. Things quickly go from bad to worse, and no relief is on sight. But we live by faith, not by sight He reminds me. :)
Much love to you, my friend.

Christine said...

Yes, by faith we inherit so much and thanks be to God for that! Good of you to stop by, Lisa. Love to you and I am praying.