Oh. My. Goodness.

 

Oh. my.

The last four hours have been over the top. I sit here typing with the hope that in writing out my stress I will feel lighter--enough to fall asleep eventually--and that God will impart some wisdom and bring verses to mind that will soothe my mothering soul.

I had it in my mind today that I would do all the teacher-directed schooling tasks early and then devote the rest of the day, until dinner prep, to finishing up the spring clothing switch. The Goodwill bags have been gotten into so often by my four year old that they had gaping holes and needed to be gone through again, lest she put something in there I still needed.

Then I had to put the finishing touches on a hand-me-down box of clothes for a family of six at the AWANA church, as well as wash seven loads of clothes because I'd gotten behind and didn't want to leave anything out of the hand-me-down box that might be useful for this family.

My clothing switch dragged on and on because spring couldn't decide if it really wanted to arrive. Temps kept flip flopping so I had to keep sweatshirts and sweaters in the closets and drawers, prolonging the process.

Today I decided all the short-sleeved shirts and shorts were going in, and if we freeze, we freeze. Keeping a bare minimum of warm clothing around, I told myself I just couldn't take seeing clothes everywhere another day.

The truth is we have too many clothes, but our large yard doesn't drain well so mud is part of the landscape...especially in the spring and fall. It isn't unusual for the kids to have two changes a day, or more for the little one, so multiple outfits are a must.

And then there were the three letters I was working on with Bible coloring sheets for our Compassion children. I usually write them online every 14 days, which is quite convenient, but once a month I try to send something to color, or a drawing lesson copied from art books.

Peter had plans today too. He got four subjects done and then set about making bee traps. He cut used water bottles in half and put apple slices in them. Then he made two homemade ant farms. In the afternoon, Lexie--his partner in all things bug and snake and frog--got home from school and helped him with his nature-observing schemes.

A neighbor, working in her yard, suddenly screamed, startling the kids.

They all went to the chain-link fence, concerned.

"Oh, just a snake", she assured, rather embarrassed.

Lexie jumped over the fence, telling her, "I'll get it!"

We just had a garter snake around for four days...something Peter caught in our backyard. Surprisingly, it was tame as could be and all the neighbor kids enjoyed it. It seemed to revel in the attention, I tell you.

Naturally, they assumed every garter snake was like their Skippy, whom Peter had to let go.

Without going into more detail, let me just say that the snake bit Peter as he and Lexie tried to remove it from the neighbor's yard. It was nearing dinnertime by now and I had to stop everything and research what to do.

On top of that, Lexie wouldn't leave the snake alone. I envisioned her getting bit as well and her grandparents knocking on my door and shouting at me.

Not that Peter cared in the least about getting bit, since it didn't hurt much and he knew garter snakes to be harmless. But he also knew by my rather-stressed countenance that I wasn't convinced we could treat it like a scratch.

Lexie continued to pursue the snake alone, despite my warnings out the back window that her mother probably wouldn't like her snake-hunting ways.

She can be maddening; she doesn't listen well and she gets as obsessed as Peter does--perhaps even more so.
 
As I applied first aid, in the kitchen, to Peter's bite, Lexie managed to catch the snake and put it in one of our empty tanks. I was not happy with the neighbor, who in no way tried to stop Lexie, even after Peter suffered a bite. She just stood there, at a distance, much amused by the whole thing, still hoping to do her gardening without the garter as company.

I finally convinced Lexie to go home, telling her Peter was in for the night...for snake-bite observation. (And tomorrow he'll need a tetanus booster). Sensing I wasn't letting her in no matter how much she pressed, she told me she would come and get her snake tomorrow, to put it in her sanctuary.

Yes, she comes up with things like that all the time. Amusing, endearing and maddening all at the same time.

I read some more and decided Peter was in no imminent danger, and by this time dinner prep was late.

Meanwhile, another crisis of a different kind. The 2010 World Book Encyclopedia DVD ROM I bought for school gave Paul fits about loading on the new Windows 7 computer we bought. (Windows XP is far easier to load software onto). Paul was working on this project during the whole snake fiasco and he'd gotten as far as he could because the same error message kept coming up.

Turns out it loaded quickly onto our 10-year-old XP computer...the same one that is making groaning sounds and is about to die. It even outlasted our 7-year-old computer, which died last month.

I began to make dinner, not believing how stressful the day had been.

Then the children broke the playroom blinds. They won't keep their hands off the blinds............!

So now, as I type, I'm hoping for a release of some sort. Children can be so difficult, stubborn, destructive, annoying.

Maddening.

When I discovered the broken blinds, I flipped out, telling them I was out of anything resembling patience and Daddy would have to take care of them for the rest of the night.

I. was. done.

I wanted to drive anywhere that wasn't here...away from this laundry and this snake bite and these neighborhood kids and these blinds and these worthless computers. I love my children and they are my life...but tonight I didn't want anything to do with them.

Until I spent time, hands busy in the soapy sink, washing dishes and contemplating mothering.

Husband got home at seven and took over with the kiddos...after letting the snake go. (I'll hear it from that Lexie girl tomorrow.)

Meanwhile, back in my suds I spoke to my Father.

Oh, Lord. This is so hard. This mothering. How do I do it well? How do I do it gently? How do I do it skillfully? Lovingly? Will they ever listen and keep their hands off things that break easily? Will they always be so destructive and maddening?

He didn't answer exactly.

But my heart did melt. That was something. My mind and soul filled with love again, and once again I wanted everything to do with these four curious, beautiful, maddening children.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring exactly, but I doubt it will be any more relaxing than today, what with the usual whining and terror about immunizations (Mary needs them too).

I'm looking for a renewal of patience, humor, calmness. What Scripture is needed most right now, Lord?

Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
 
 Psalm 51:10
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

2 Chronicles 15:4
But in their distress they turned to the LORD, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them.

Lamentations 3:25
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

Isaiah 12:2
Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

Psalm 57:1
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.

And your day, dear reader friend, went far smoother I hope?



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Need Strength?

Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

When A Mother Worries

Do you worry, dear reader friend? If so than sit with me a spell and let's work this out, spiritually speaking?

I've written several posts over the years about parents worrying over their children. They were written by necessity as I processed things in my own life. At times I'm gripped with fear about my sons' futures, and less often, about my daughters' futures.

Sons have to support families and in this recession-gripped economy it's becoming harder to make ends meet. Everywhere I see struggle, and even in traditionally safe fields, like education, it's becoming harder to secure permanent employment. A relative of mine earned a teaching credential 18 months ago and still struggles to get by on low-pay, high-hour positions while waiting for an open permanent position. She's not in a position to pack up and move to a state that boasts ample opportunities for teachers.

And this person has no mental or physical handicaps.

My older son has a few handicaps and my younger son has changed much in the past year. Always happy-go-lucky and independent in the past, he's become depressive at times and quite needy. It could be a lot of things, including that depression runs in both sides of the family.

As much as my heart has ached at this change in him, I still considered him fully job capable, until more recently when giddiness began to alternate with the depressive episodes. I haven't and won't say anything to him about what's happening to his personality, until he expresses a desire to know why he's so different.

Maybe it's hormones or that at about age 9, children began to notice the brokenness in the world and lose their child-like innocence. Having one's eyes opened to the sin condition and all that it entails, is depressing.

Growing up can be painful.

I feel that assigning a medical or psychological label to a child or an adult is counterproductive...unless they start to blame themselves for their struggles. When that point comes, it's kinder to educate them about the possibilities. Undiagnosed conditions can lead to powerful failure complexes.

My son has a cousin on both sides of the family with bipolar, which is characterized by depressive episodes alternating with giddy, euphoric, hyperactive episodes. When my son's giddiness comes I can't help but wonder about bipolar. And immediately, I panic and walk around in a daze, wondering how this can possibly be happening to us.

I haven't mentioned it to the pediatrician and I probably won't for a while. Right now I'm observing and praying and supporting, without revealing anything.

Two sons with very serious conditions? Conditions that are annoying for all and hard to live around? Why are we so cursed and will my sons find jobs that work with these issues? And will they blame God and will their faith weaken, as they try to make it in a very competitive world?

Their own father is also affected by depression and other difficulties and his work life has been profoundly impacted and we struggle. The spiritual benefits of the struggling have been great, so I'm not complaining. If God is going to make me more like Him, I'm happy to give him free reign over my circumstances. He knows what He's doing, yes?

Yes, yes and yes.

But do I want constant struggle for my sons and their wives and children...if they even get married? I don't know. That seems to go against natural parental feeling, though I know that every person struggles with something and I can't protect my children from the human condition.

But can you imagine why I want to run down the street sometimes, screaming: I can't believe this is happening!

My sons will probably have at least one child of their own similarly affected, because that's the way genes work; mental conditions are highly heritable.

I have a friend who has a son with severe OCD and a brother with schizophrenia. She grew up with this brother and saw him struggle as a child and adult. He only survives financially because of a subsidized apartment and disability benefits. While I don't begrudge him for this help, I certainly don't want that for my sons, and my friend feels the same about her own son. She wonders, will he be able to hold down a well-paying job, despite the five medications and the OCD that won't let up?

I have another friend whose 18-year-old daughter has ADHD, severe depression, cutting episodes, and anorexia nervosa. She tells me just waking her daughter up in the morning sucks the life out of her, it's so stressful.

What my friends and I need constant reminders of, and maybe you too, reader friend, if you worry about your children, is this:

Isaiah 55:8
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

We worry whether our children will make it as adults...if they will be capable of caring for themselves as well as others. Will they know the joy of having a family? Will their spouse despise them for their difficulties, or will the spouse shower their lives with grace, reflecting Him? Will the spouse say I've had enough and leave, bringing the shame of divorce?

Our task as Christian mothers is to take each such thought and continually throw it in the garbage. These are not the Lord's thoughts. He doesn't see it our way...thinking about whether our children will experience success or not.

For what is success to the Lord? Another soul saved. Another moment of Glory revealed.

Scripture tells us how the Lord's glory shines. Through our weaknesses. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

For over 2000 years the world has been without the benefit of Jesus walking the earth, doing miracles and bringing people to himself personally.

He's been bringing people to himself spiritually, by revealing his existence and power through our weaknesses. We can tell someone about Jesus and sometimes that is enough, but more powerful is when our circumstances, our testimony, tells others about Jesus.

In the middle of the night last night when the worry and sadness felt paralyzing, He taught me anew. Your problem, dear woman, is your thoughts. Not your sons' difficulties.

Yes, yes, yes...of course. It's my way of seeing my circumstances and problems, not the circumstances or problems themselves.

Your sons' weaknesses are my opportunity to shine, He teaches.

Rejoice in that, can you, He asks me? Can you give me your life so fully that you learn to rejoice over My plans, even when they thrwart your human reasoning?

When we get to the end of ourselves, when we get to a despair that is so crippling we have to literally crawl to the throne of grace, we become useful. Yes, useful. God was working all the time to get us there, asking us to trust Him implicitly.

My sons? Their difficulties mean they will be more willing to crawl to that throne of grace over and over. When we view it that way, when we view it as the Lord does, are handicaps a weakness or a strength?

I'll leave you to ponder that.

And I pray that we all, as Christian mothers, crawl to the throne of grace readily so God can use us mightily in our children's lives.

Giving Thanks Today:

Thank you, Lord, for these blessings and graces:

~ For a husband who joyfully gives his time to each child.

~ For children who listen to my thoughts about the Lord.

~ For growing faith...trials don't allow faith to grow stagnant, thank the Lord.

~ For other mothers who share my burdens and understand.

~ For the throne of grace, always available, always beckoning.

~ For a Heavenly Father who gently pulls me back into his embrace and wisdom, even in the middle of the night. 

~ For my 4-year-old daughter's endearing ways. I love age 4!

~ For sunshine.

~ For tulips coloring my world and fresh new leaves on the trees and brilliant green grass all around.

~ For my Mary's love and sweetness.

~ For my boys' bravery, trying to find their way in a confusing world.

~ For my boys' desire to have their friends come to faith.

~ For the sprinklings of grace that happen many times a day.
 

~ For that harmless snake from our backyard, bringing so much joy to my Peter. He marveled at the way that snake wrapped around his hand, as though an old friend.

~ For my son Paul's love of maps and geography and art. Relaxation for him is drawing up a new map or reading statistics about each state's characteristics. I thank the Lord my boy has passions that can still pull him away from darkness.

What are you thankful for today, my friend?

Let's Talk Blogs

Let's talk blogs, shall we?

I have a number of blogs on my sidebar but I keep up with just a fraction. Around here there are too many children and too much laundry to do otherwise.

On a side note, loin cloths like they wear in the jungle seem awfully appealing right now. How long would it take to wash six loin cloths per day? And due to the humidity, they sleep on hammocks not on bedding.

Hmmm.

But this is Ohio not the Amazon so I'll get back on topic now.

My friends' and fellow homeschooler blogs are the first I read; I get to the others only a few times a month.

If you're a blog lover you know the different types out there and you probably have specific reasons for keeping up with each one, even if it's just to see how a particular family fares.

And you probably have specific things that turn you off for good, too. One of those for me are numerous buttons asking me to follow on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram...ad nauseam. Sometimes those appear before any content and the blog has to be very good otherwise to get me past this.

The ads used to bother me but this growing number of follow buttons really annoy. As if we need yet another distraction...

I dislike the aggressive tactics, reasoning that God is perfectly capable of bringing an audience to a blog, if He so desires, no matter what the marketing experts may teach at blog conferences.

Book publishers demand a social media following nowadays to boost their profit margins, so bloggers-who-hope-to-be-print-authors are thinking ahead with these buttons, no doubt.

I guess I'm not ambitious enough to get on board, but I do have enough in my head to put in a book some day. Hopefully by then things will have changed, since it will be years before my children's growth stages will allow me to write a book

And too, I believe as with pastors and actors, writers have the skill or talent either to appeal to large audiences or smaller ones. God can change that, but can audience-begging buttons?

Granted, some people use blogging to run online businesses and I get that. I know the various social mediums spread information like wildfires, usually without overhead costs.

Today I want to warn all of us about the Perfectly Produced blog. I use the word produce because that's what they do for major motion pictures. They decide on the impression they're after and the director does take after take until it's just right.

The Perfectly Produced blog can be about any topic, but the aim is to present perfection. For example, one sees a nice, orderly, perfectly clean house. No laundry anywhere. The children are perfect geniuses without any issues. The mother does it all, perfectly. The husband is never mentioned other than to announce his perfect job...as though the husband's worth lay in just that: his job.

Because these blogs never waver from their image, they deceive us, either knowingly or blindly. Read them for what you can glean, but always keep in mind...perfection doesn't exist.

Behind the production scene are real people. Broken people in need of daily redemption and daily grace. The brokenness might be in the relationships, in the bodies, in the neurotransmitters, in the alcohol or drug abuse, in the finances or in the heart. But it's surely there...a well-kept secret.

Certainly there are mini-cultures and families who feel it's inappropriate to share any brokenness. To do so is in poor taste, in their opinion. On the West Coast real life is shared more readily than on the more-reserved Midwestern and Eastern parts of our country. I moved from California to Ohio in August 2005, and I'm still learning the emotional landscape here.

People in Ohio have more roots; they move less and they chase possessions less. They're friendly and often down-to-earth, but they like to suffer privately or with just their families.

These differences are acceptable and cultural. I don't see the reserved person as hiding something so much as reserving it for a few.

But the Perfectly Produced blog? It's deception. Read it at your own risk and don't let it rob you of your contentment or your gratitude. And consider this: your problems may be small potatoes next to their secrets.

Balance your perfectly-produced blog reading with blogs that present real life showered in grace.

Grace is beautiful, real, and attainable.

Pray for it, celebrate it, advertise it. It allows the real star to shine...Jesus Christ our Lord.

2 Corinthians 4:5
For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  

Philippians 2:10
So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth.         

    
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Homeschool Mother's Journal, April 26

 
In my life this week…

I've been somewhat anxious, waiting for the rheumatology check-up this week for my 4-year-old daughter, Beth, who suffers from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.

But no worries; the doctor was pleased with her joints' appearance--enough to refrain from raising the methotrexate dose, much to this Momma's relief.

I also obtained a referral to an ENT to evaluate the size of Beth's tonsils and discuss removing them, per the speech therapist's recommendation. Although, of course, we will pray about this and study the data before agreeing to surgery, no matter what the ENT determines. It's no fun to struggle to breathe, but I think she's so used to it she doesn't know any better.

Finally, we helped the neighbor kids get to school again. They had colds but had to go to school because this area started standardized testing. The district has good scores and they take this very seriously...something I gathered from the neighbor boy's stress level. Anyway, my oldest came down with the cold and has asthma with it for the first time in a long time.

It's always something fun and relaxing...or not.


In our homeschool this week…

1.  This week Peter and I finished reading Bruchko, the Sonlight-assigned reader I mentioned last week. Paul is just beginning it and I think it will have to become a read aloud for him. He's 9.5 years old and the missionary books are a bit heavy for him to process on his own.

About Bruchko I can only say...I'll never be the same. The book taught me so much about God's power and provision in our daily walk--power most of us never tap into. I've written rather lengthy comments about how the book affected me, so if you're short on time you might want to skim or skip. The book is riveting and awesome and every Christian would love it.

On his deathbed a number of times--with no missionary organization behind him and no coworker or steady cash flow--Bruce needed the Lord desperately while trying to help a stone-age Indian tribe in South America...a tribe that routinely killed anyone who came near them.

As the Lord provided time and again and supernaturally made His presence known, sustaining Bruce through terrible loneliness, boredom, and recurring illness, Bruce became willing to die for Christ. He reached Paul the Apostle's point in life, in which he could say..."To live is Christ, to die is gain." (My words, not Bruce's).

It wasn't that Bruce (Bruchko) wanted death, just that he was willing to be led to it for Christ's sake.

As I read the last pages through a flood of tears, I walked away with this conviction: Unless we do something completely, utterly brave for God, we won't know or experience God the way Bruce has for the last fifty years in the jungle.

He's 71 years old now, still living among the Motilone, whom he met at about age 20. All the Motilones accepted Jesus not long after Bruce arrived, but they don't have traditional worship ideas. For example, they don't go to church on Sundays. Church is community and they do it everyday, all day. Two strong reminders came to me as I read:  Church is community, not a building. Church is an attitude, not a destination.

They read the translated Bible (Bruce's work) nightly in groups and all members regularly tell what they think the passage meant, and how it applies to their life. Bruce never tried to convert them to any certain lifestyle, other than walking in the footsteps of Jesus, letting Him cover their iniquities with his blood. Their entire way of relating to each other changed, almost overnight, after they began to walk in Jesus' path. Prior to this they had no concern for anyone outside their own family unit.

It's when we have no insurance policies and no backup plan that we truly need God on a daily basis. Sure, when we get sick or a loved one is in pain, we need Him terribly and rejoice that He's always there to help us. But for Bruce, God's presence was needed hourly. He endured prolonged loneliness for one, and tomorrow was always an unknown. A tiger or a snake or hepatitis could take his life, or worse (like warring guerrilla factions).

Even what Bruce would do with his time each day was an unknown. He didn't walk into that jungle with a plan; just a God-given desire to share Christ with the Motilone Indians. Each day God pointed the way and Bruce had to pray, listen clearly, and wait for God's timing. 

As I soaked up the details about his early days in South America outside the jungle, and then in the jungle, even before he met up with the Motilone, it struck me that God purposely beat Bruce down. It was as though the Lord wanted to get rid of all that was Bruce Olson, and fill this empty cavity of a man up with just Christ.

Does that sound familiar, some days? Each one of my children have their separate problems, and my husband and me have our personal trials as well. Sometimes I can't believe how hard it is and I wonder, it is this hard for everyone, but in different ways? Are we all being beaten down, so that we'll dump ourselves out and finally fill up with Him?

When I read the Bible as a whole and think of all its heros, I'm inclined to say that yes...life is supposed to be hard. We are supposed to get to the end of our ropes and then monkey jump onto Jesus' rope and stay there, clinging to Him like a parasite...living off His love, His blood, His power, His wisdom, His provision.

In the Western world, with our insurance policies and our retirement plans and endless safety nets, we forget that life is meant to be uncertain. Because in Christ we have all the certainty we need. All other plans and policies fail to bring true peace of soul.

As I said, I'll never be the same. It's doubtful I'll ever live in the jungle, but I want to remember what Bruce endured and I want to live his courage, live his passion for the Gospel.


  

Buy here: Christianbook.com:

Other school things...Last week I wrote about Susan Wise Bauer's Writing With Ease. We still enjoy it very much and I did end up purchasing Level 4, putting Level 3 on the shelf for my girls to grow into. The boys were used to a page and a half of dictation and we needed to get back to that volume. Level 4 will work fine.

I do tweak it, having the boys write out every narration after giving it to me orally. Also, I don't have the boys try to memorize the passage I will be dictating. They just read through it once before I begin dictating.

As I guessed, the boys have expressed a desire to check out some of the books used in the dictations and narrations. Susan Bauer worked hard to choose intriguing passages that would hook children while exposing them to the best writing models.


 

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…

Don't hesitate to write a behavior contract if a child becomes increasingly combative. I have one child with ADHD/OCD and it seems when the OCD is calm, the ADHD isn't and vice versa. Right now things are tough with the impulsivity and the difficulty delaying gratification.

I have written, again extensively, about sample behavior contracts, so if you're short on time, skim or skip again.

When a child is frequently needing consequences it's difficult to keep up with what you've said you're going to do, especially with a houseful of kids distracting you. Take out the confusion and guess work by writing out a contract listing his responsibilities, his consequences, and his weekly incentives (privileges).

For example, we've had success with the following for our son Peter, age 11. Let me first say that too much time on his hands isn't good (bugs others incessantly if he isn't busy), and too little free time isn't good either. He needs structure imposed on him, but with plenty of outdoor time worked in:

Privileges:

~ 90 minutes of birdwatching and nature time alone with Daddy, twice monthly. (My husband works 54 hours per week so this is not easy, but worth it--they both need it. Our son is at one with nature and always has been.

~ Mommy reads aloud (on top of the time Daddy reads nightly).

~ Go to frog pond (drainage ditch across our small quiet street, with quite a sampling of pond life).

~ Ride bike around short block

~ Computer time 24 minutes daily

~ Keep pond animal for observation for one week.

~ 50 cents allowance per week.

Responsibilities (Many of these are on a check-off sheet on the wall)

~ Clean up after hamster daily; clean cage on Tuesdays; feed daily

~ Clean room and make bed daily before 1st recess

~ Obey parents in the Lord

~ Put away your folded clothes

~ Read Bible before 1st recess daily

~ Read 2 books to sisters Mon. - Fri.

~ Come in by 6 PM daily; no arguing, shower before dinner

~ Refrain from badgering Mommy or siblings

~ Get a calm activity when your temper flares (such as hold your hamster or read a bird or nature book)

~ Vacuum living room every Saturday

~ Sweep every Friday

~ Take out recycling on Thurs.

~ Check off all subjects and chores on weekly school chart for parent perusal

Consequences for misbehavior or disobedience:

I keep track of this by using numbered index cards in a pocket on the wall (numbers 1 - 9). When he misbehaves he changes the top card, revealing the next number. It may sound like something from a Kinder class, but it keeps them accountable and Mom in the know, even with a houseful. He wouldn't lie about what card he's on--mainly because his OCD wouldn't allow him to lie--but if you have a chronic fibber you may have to turn the cards yourself.

I leave food out of the picture, and I make sure all consequences, except for the nature trip with Daddy, are paid on the same day. No carry overs to the next day. Impulsive and strong-willed children benefit from a clean slate every day (and don't we all have that in Christ?).

Think about your child's likes and dislikes and come up with privileges and consequences that will really make an impression. Writing them out and posting them will help you refrain from doubling consequences in anger, or threatening things that aren't practical, or that end up punishing the other kids as well.

If your child has a bad temper and things get ugly quickly, a timeout in their room will lower their adrenaline and yours too. I endeavor to keep quiet during the timeouts even if he doesn't. Lecturing in anger only makes my kids tune me out.

I let him take a book with him and he always comes out calmer. My goal is not so much to punish, but to redirect and allow him time to hear the Holy Spirit and ask Him for calmness.

Step 1 - 20 minutes in room
Step 2 - 20 more minutes in room
Step 3 - Lose 12 minutes computer
Step 4 - Lose Mommy reads aloud (Daddy will still always read aloud at night)
Step 5 - Lose frog pond for the day
Step 6 - Lose bike for the day
Step 7 - Lose pond animal you've been observing
Step 8 - Lose $.25 allowance
Step 9 - Lose nature time with Daddy


Places we’re going and people we’re seeing…

AWANA is drawing to a close so we added a library storytime/craft/movement class for the girls on Tuesdays. One perk for me is that it helps me pick out books from the shelves without having to watch the girls' whereabouts constantly.

My favorite thing this week was…

Hearing that my 4-year-old daughter didn't need a stronger dose of her chemo drug. And that she won't have to have her blood drawn every 6 weeks anymore--just every 3 months. What a relief! She was getting feisty during those blood draws and my stress level stayed high the entire day afterwards.

My kiddos favorite thing this week was…

Playing in the rain and getting thoroughly muddy. I was not amused because the laundry load has been through the roof. Last Sunday I spent seven hours on laundry (partly due to the spring clothing switch). The 7 hours was in addition to doing a few loads every day.

Things I’m working on…

Laundry and the clothing switch. Haven't I written that three weeks running? I just need a good chunk of time to finish it!

I’m cooking…

chicken-noodle soup, gingerbread pancakes, spaghetti, cheesy eggs, roast chicken


I’m grateful for…

...the examples Jesus gave us in the Gospels, and of missionaries and others who demonstrate how to give one's life to Christ. What is Lordship? What does it look like to do this daily? I love reading examples of this, on top of my Bible reading.


I’m praying for…

...my friend's daughter, another friend's son, the neighbor children, my children's ailments, my headaches, our sanity

Have a blessed week! If you got to the bottom I have to say thank you...a bit long-winded I am for sure. I guess this is a stress reliever. :)