Homeschool and Mother's Journal Nov 8

In my life this week…

This week I'm preparing for a dinner party, which is a brave undertaking for me. Normally I have only one or two people over at a time, but this time two sets of aunts and uncles are coming, and possibly a single friend.

My dad's mom and my mom's mom were placed in the same nursing home in Ohio years ago, and miraculously, they ended up in the same room.  My family lived in CA at that time, where I was going to college.

Thrown together often due to frequent nursing home visits, were my dad's sister and my mom's sister. These two aunts became friends and have remained close for the past twenty-two years, and it's these ladies and their husbands who will grace our home this Saturday. We don't see them often, although they live quite close; one had 6 children and the other had 4, so their families and grandkids keep them plenty busy.

Of all the things I could make to feed 11 people--with most of the work done ahead of time--I decided on a soup and salad and bread bar. Thus, I have four soups to prepare, two different kinds of breads, and a large salad with side fixings, plus a chocolate cake to prepare. One aunt is also bringing a dessert.

I decided on these soups:

potato soup with bacon
sausage tortellini soup
navy bean with ham
taco soup (with milder Rotel this time around)

And these breads:

honey corn bread
pumpkin bread
whole wheat french bread

And then of course, there's the house and the four kids to wrangle with as well, which is why I don't often entertain on larger scales.

Paul will play 3 songs on the piano for entertainment, and the girls and Peter will recite Bible verses they've learned in AWANA, and possibly a silly Thanksgiving turkey song. Only one of my aunts is Christian--only four Christians exist in my entire clan, both sides included--but I decided that leaving out the verses for the sake of the non-Christian aunt and uncle would be as though I'm ashamed of the Gospel.

At any rate, I'm praying for hearts to receive His truth.

My 90-year-old father-in-law is still in the rehab center in Florida. They keep pushing back his release date for various reasons. He wants to go back to his Florida home, living alone with part-time hired help, but that is not what doctors recommend for him. He already had a second fall, this time in the rehab center bathroom. He can't stand hands-free without losing his balance, so they have an alarm and device on his bed to prevent him from getting up without help.

We call him several times a week, and those conversations can be stressful because he's just so stubborn, though I understand him feeling like a prisoner. He doesn't want to live with us, or in an assisted living facility near us. His decision puts pressure on his neighbors, which bothers us because it should be family shouldering any burden of his care, not neighbors.

But, we can't force him and the assisted-living facilities charge an average of $3500 a month, which is not covered by medicare (only nursing homes are). He has enough money but feels sick about giving it to these facilities, which provide only mediocre care at best, due to hiring low-wage workers with high turn-around.

We have much to pray about and we have to cling to the Father in hope. We want my father-in-law's last years to be full of dignity, and yet we can't move down there for various reasons. His house is a tiny one-bedroom with bonus sunroom, for one thing.

In our homeschool this week…

The boys have added Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Eleanor Coerr, as we hang out in Japan this week. I cried and cried at this story and I feel for the boys as they near the ending. It's yet another reminder that war is devastating and ugly and should never be taken lightly. As we read the news about various wars, it's far different than delving into the story of one person affected by the events.

Personal stories help children learn the most facts and uncover all the layers of a topic, more effectively than non-fiction at some levels, and I'm glad Sonlight includes both for our enrichment.



Scholastic Synopsis: Two-year-old Sadako Sasaki was living in Hiroshima when the atom bomb was dropped. Sadly, ten years later, she was diagnosed with leukemia, also known as "atom bomb disease."

There is a Japanese legend that says that if a sick person folds 1,000 paper cranes, the gods will make her well again. Sadako spent long hours in bed, folding those paper cranes, and never giving up that hope. When Sadako had folded six hundred and forty-four cranes, and they hung above her bed on strings, her classmates folded the rest.

Today there is a memorial in Hiroshima Peace Park dedicated to Sadako. Children come there and leave the paper cranes they make in her honor.

Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes is based on a true story.

As my children delve into Sonlight's Eastern Hemisphere package, they're learning about other religions (and cultures) with the purpose of praying for the lost and better understanding the depth of their confusion and deception. Most of the nations they're learning about are in the 10/40 missionary window--the largest concentration of unreached people groups of the world.

The purpose is not to accept that every nation has its own religion and that's okay. Instead, they're learning that we can show respect for all people while still praying they'll come to know Truth. Buddhism is the most difficult, so far, and it does bother Peter's OCD to read about it, but we're getting through it.

Islam, Judaism and Christianity are similar in that they share some Bible scripture beginnings, with the first two departing from Christianity at some point in the Old Testament.

Other School News: After lunch each day we read a Thanksgiving book, and then make a construction paper leaf, writing on it what we're thankful for that day. We then tape it on a Thanksgiving Tree my Paul designed on white butcher paper. You could make this quite elaborate, but we're simple here most of the time.

The children and I are really enjoying this, and wanted to recommend some Thanksgiving books for you. I've always loved teaching the Thanksgiving story, and I admit to owning all of these books and more over the years.




The Thanksgiving Story, by Alice Dalgliesh

Publisher Synopsis: Dagliesh and Sewell received praise for the clarity and immediacy of their picture book, a hit of the season in 1954. Today's children, beginners and advanced readers, will value the story about one family's first Thanksgiving in the Plymouth Colony, strikingly present in stylized, naive pictures like colored etchings. Giles, Constance and Damaris Hopkins are aboard the Mayflower, overcrowded when the Speedwell turns back to England. On the journey, the children's baby brother is born and named Oceanus; he will be one of the smallest in the company of settlers who endure the terrible first year in the New World and gather to celebrate the harvest the next November. The story ends with the great feast to which the colonists invited the Indian chief Massasoit, Squanto and their people who had helped the strangers survive hunger, cold and sickness.



N. C. Wyeth's Pilgrims, text by Robert San Souci

Publisher Synopsis: The adventurous saga of the settling of the Plymouth Colony is strikingly portrayed in this magnificent book. Spectacular paintings by renowned artist N.C. Wyeth, gloriously bring to life the carefully researched text by well known children's book author Robert San Souci. The story of the Pilgrims, including the first Thanksgiving, is a central part of America's history and, over the course of time, it has taken on an almost mythical quality. Drawing upon a variety of resources, including the author's trip to the Plimouth Plantation, the text dispels some popular misconceptions about the setting of our nation as it broadens our understanding of the bravery and determination of our forebears. A beautiful artbook as well as an informative history book, N.C Wyeth's Pilgrims belongs in every home, library, and classroom.



The Very First Thanksgiving Day, by Rhonda Gowler Greene

Publisher Synopsis: The story of the first Thanksgiving celebration, told in cumulative rhyme, introduces young readers to America's most beloved national tradition, which began with a shared feast to rejoice in the bounty of the land, new beginnings, and peace between two societies.

Exquisite paintings by Susan Gaber transport the reader back to the earliest days of American history with meticulous detail and breathtaking imagery. Sure to be a yearly favorite, The Very First Thanksgiving Day will resonate with readers young and old on this day for thanks and blessings.

Samuel Easton's Day: A Day in the Life of a Pilgrim Boy, by Kate Waters

Publisher Synopsis: Samuel Eaton is a young boy living in an early American settlement in the year 1627, and today is the day he will help with his first rye harvest! If he can prove to his father he's up to the task, he will be able to help with all of the harvest. But harvesting rye is even more difficult than he expected. Was he foolish to think he could do a man's work?

Text and photographs follow a six-year-old Pilgrim boy through a busy day during the spring harvest in 1627: doing chores, getting to know his Wampanoag Indian neighbors, and spending time with his family.

Sarah Morton's Day: A Day in the Life of a Pilgrim Girl, by Kate Waters

Publisher Synopsis: At sunup when the cockerel crows, young Sarah Morton's day begins. Come and join her as she goes about her work and play in an early American settlement in the year 1627.
There's a fire to build, breakfast to cook, chickens to feed, goats to milk, and letters and scripture to learn. Between the chores, there is her best friend, Elizabeth, with whom she shares her hopes and dreams. But Sarah is worried about her new stepfather. Will she ever earn his love and learn to call him father?



The First Thanksgiving, by Garnet Jackson

Publisher Synopsis: When the Pilgrims landed in New England, many died during the first harsh winter. This easy-to-read story describes the first Thanksgiving celebration and tells how Native Americans helped the Pilgrims through that first difficult year.



The Pilgrim's First Thanksgiving, by Ann McGovern

Publisher Synopsis: Elroy Freem (the pseudonym of a popular children's book artist) gives this reissue of a favorite story new life. Teachers, parents, and children will give thanks for this easy-to-read, larger format book with lively, full-color illustrations.

This particular book is full of rich details; I feel the above synopsis doesn't do it justice.



The First Thanksgiving, by Linda Hayward

Publisher Synopsis: Young readers start the familiar story behind our tradition of Thanksgiving Day in England in 1620, when the Pilgrims are setting sail for far-off America, leaving behind friends and safe homes. The reasons for their journey, the trials they endure while at sea, and all of their amazing adventures are detailed in this easy-to-read book.                                                                                                                                    



On the Mayflower: Voyage of the Ship's Apprentice & a Passenger Girl, by Kate Waters

School Library Journal Synopsis: Photographed on the Mayflower II, a replica of the original ship, this fourth book in an acclaimed series charts the high seas friendship of two young passengers. "Well written, designed, and photographed." — School Library Journal

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…

When I can't think of a specific tip, I like to just say...pray, pray, pray. It's the single best course of action for any homeschooling mother. It ensures that God's will is alive in our homeschool.

Places we’re going and people we’re seeing…

We went to Beth's three-month rheumatology check, and thankfully, they aren't increasing any of her medicines, though her swelling is up. They told me they expect arthritis flares after any surgery (she had her tonsils out last July). She is getting around pretty well and not complaining of pain, so I am very, very, thankful.

We don't go a lot of places or sign up for a lot of events, because the minute we prepare for an outing and leave the house, we lose academic time. As most of you well know, it's hard to get back in the groove with school after an outing. We choose very carefully how we'll spend our time, making sure the children have far more down time than running around time. Every family is different, but we're happy in our home together. The kids generally hate driving around unless it's for a seasonal field trip.

My favorite thing this week was…

Mary, age 6, made up a worship song stanza, which delighted me. I've also enjoyed every Thanksgiving reading segment this week.

And every time I sit down with my children individually to study AWANA verses, I'm so blessed. We sit in a rocker together and make it a special cuddling time.

My kiddos favorite thing this week was…

They love company, so I can tell you ahead of time they'll say having a dinner party was their favorite.

Things I’m working on…

I'm losing the migraine battle, so I began again taking the Elavil I wrote about a few weeks ago (a daily preventative medicine). I'm working on getting over the grief that this is even necessary, and trying to be patient as my body gets used to the medicine.

I’m cooking…

crockpot black bean soup
whole baked chicken
homemade chicken noodle soup
shepherd's pie
sausage marinara spaghetti
tortellini soup
potato soup
crockpot navy bean soup
taco soup

I’m grateful for…

~ a Compassion letter from Burkina Faso

~ a warm home for these cold November days (first real snow on its way, I'm told)

~ a husband who listens

~ sweet kids growing in the Lord

~ grace for the hard days

~ children who forgive each other

~ a huge leaf pile (Peter's hard work, mostly)

~ Peter offering to rake and gather the neighbor's leaves, and doing a good, thorough job. They didn't say thank you (he told them it was for his leaf compost), but I praised him for his hard work and diligence.

~ pumpkin smells in the kitchen

~ looking forward to fellowship with aunts and uncles

A quote to share...

Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day!





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Mary Writes a Song

Busy hanging clothes the other day, I was graced with Mary's presence, her face all a glow.

"Mommy, I wrote a song in my head and I need you to write it down." 

Mary's Best Song

Oh, Lord, I need you.
You take me up.
You clear my heart from sin,
You make me new again

Hopefully there will be another stanza soon!

Making Peace With Your Problematic Child, Part 1

When I brought my Peter home from the hospital all those years ago, I never dreamed he'd be so hard to raise, or that he'd bring out the worst in me. To me, he was a miracle: an angel baby born fourteen months after the 21-week gestational loss of our son Isaac.

I had been through the most difficult year and a half of my life, further complicated by preterm labor: dilating two inches at 30 weeks gestation, with nearly constant small-scale contractions. They gave me brethine--a preterm labor drug--but it wasn't very effective.

I was on bedrest for 8 weeks, after which my water broke at 37.5 weeks gestation. Labor was routine, but with lots of howling pain because the bedrest started before any Lamaze classes, and the epidural was given too late (story of my labor life, but with my last baby, I learned to breathe!).

I had no idea what I was doing, despite lying there on bedrest for weeks, reading pregnancy magazines. The nurse kept telling me to breathe but I just couldn't manage it.

Pushing lasted two hours, after which forceps were used to help deliver my baby. After it all, Peter was born in good condition, thankfully.

But it wasn't smooth sailing.

I developed preeclampsia shortly after he was born, landing me back in the hospital while he stayed at home with Daddy for five heartbreaking days (or was it four...I can't remember now.) While Daddy dealt with jaundice at home, and the associated daily pediatrician checks, I worked on my breast milk supply while begging God to heal me, and the jaundice.

I pumped breast milk but was told to "pump and dump" because of the magnesium sulfate drug preeclampsia patients are forced to take. One nurse thought the drug wouldn't hurt my baby, having recently been to a seminar where she learned that all drugs are okay--excreted so minutely into breast milk anyway--except for street drugs and cancer drugs.

The pediatrician, however, was adamant: pump and dump. So Peter was given formula in a bottle for the five days I was in the hospital, and once home, I pumped my milk for him until he learned to latch at three weeks old. It was rough going, but after five weeks old, he never took another bottle.

He was fussy from three weeks to five months old, like all my children. I had a rapid let-down reflex in one breast, as well as general over-supply problems. After five months old, they were champs at keeping up with the milk, but still, there were frequent clogged ducts no matter what I did.

Peter spit up copiously about three times after every feeding, for an entire year, and his tear ducts took a year to open, resulting in the green eye junk you see in these babies. Despite cleaning his eyes frequently, I dealt with some nosey comments, such as:  "I think your baby has conjunctivitis; shouldn't you take him to the doctor?"

He also was born with a hydrocele in his scrotum, which required surgery at two years old.

All this to say...parenting didn't come easy for me from the start. It was a delight and I was on cloud nine, don't get me wrong, but those were grueling times.

I wish I could say things settled down, but from an early age, Peter was high-strung and extremely active, walking at just under nine months old, and rarely stopping for a cuddle. He was smart and fun, but by 3.5 years old, he was the main source of stress in my life, and that remains true today.

He has trouble controlling his emotions, reaches a frustration threshold far sooner than most of us, talks incessantly and loudly, unless he's reading, and hyperfocuses something fierce. Once he becomes interested in something, he lives and breathes it, follows you around and talks and asks about it almost non-stop, unless he's reading.

In case you hadn't guessed....yes, it's a blessing this child likes to read.

He has trouble waiting his turn, and our most recent stress was caused by his brother's birthday. Every year when a birthday comes, Peter pressures the sibling into getting what he wants...not what they want. It's an incessant thing, and as a result, holidays and birthdays are extra stressful for everybody, despite discipline techniques employed faithfully. ADHD kids just have terrible control over their impulses, and act like they are perpetually three years old, when it comes to waiting for something. (My son has the hyperactive/impulsive type of ADHD, not the predominately inattentive type).

They also can't control their movement impulses, so hyperactivity is always an unwelcome visitor, no matter how much regular exercise you encourage.

When these kids want something, they go after it full force, even if they realize cognitively that they're driving you insane. They feel guilty, yes, but they have so little control over the impulse, that they can't stop fixating on the desired thing, whether it's a trip somewhere, a keen interest (animals, nature, etc.), a food item, or what have you.

They can be so relentless, hate can creep into your heart sometimes. Oh, not real hate, but a dislike so strong during their relentless onslaughts, that all you want to do is get in the car and drive far away, because there are no answers to this disorder and rarely a break. It isn't something that gets better, and medication helps in only minor ways.

The result is that the child grows to hate himself, and the whole family grows to hate what this child does to the collective peace. In fact, when the child is gone for some reason, the family dynamics are amazingly different. It's bittersweet to love a child so much, and yet barely be able to tolerate them so often.

It's not surprising that these kids grow up with a lot of negative interaction. Their self-esteem suffers because they're always in trouble, people are frequently angry at them, and for much of a typical day, they feel like failures.

There are good things, of course: they tend to be intelligent, fun, and imaginative, but they're so high maintenance that the positives get lost in the fray.

How do you survive your difficult child, keeping your own health intact, while assuring that they feel the full weight of your motherly love? Telling them how deeply they're loved isn't very convincing when 75% of the interaction is negative on a daily basis.

Statistically, these kids go to jail more frequently, take drugs more often, have problematic relationships, and end up depressed. Moreover, 65% of them have comorbid disorders, such as Bipolar Disorder, OCD, autism, generalized anxiety disorder, clinical depression, Tourette's Syndrome, oppositional defiance disorder, conduct disorder, and various processing disorders (learning disabilities).

Of these, my son has OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, Tourette's Syndrome (a tic disorder), and his dysgraphia--difficulty with handwriting, spelling, and organizing thoughts on paper--is a processing disorder.

He's one tough kid to raise, but I'm insanely in love with him.

Next time, we'll talk about how to counteract all the negativity, and how to forgive yourself for not being the parent you wanted to be.

It's not your fault, my friend. This is one fallen world.

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Are You a Follower?

Matthew 9:9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

 

Today bursted with activity. I wouldn't call it relaxing, but as with other Saturdays lately, I learned something important.

 

From the moment the cuddly four year old whispered good morning in my ear, and her silky cheek pressed against mine to say, "I love you, Mommy", my day exploded like a race horse.

 

There was our Children's Bible Study at 4PM, last minute lesson prep, Paul's birthday cake to prepare and frost, a very messy house to organize, along with the usual dusting, vacuuming, mopping, and wiping down.

 

I can't say as I was in the best of moods at first. Finding puzzle pieces and Legos all around the house makes me a fire-breathing dragon, especially when I'm cleaning on a deadline.

 

The children do help with Saturday clean-up, but the whole while they wish Saturdays could be relaxing. My husband chimes in about that too, since we also serve at AWANA on Sundays.

 

We barely had enough powdered sugar to make the frosting, and I learned too late that we were out of candles. So, yes, at times I definitely fought for joy today. Nothing was easy, from the children's birthday-related hyperactivity, to the red acrylic paint I scraped off the dining room floor.

 

What did I hear from the Holy Spirit, my Counselor and Comforter? Just this:

 

Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Giving up my time for others is hard; there's no argument there. It feels like a grueling sacrifice often. The children's ministry at church, the Bible study in our home, the serving at AWANA. All of it is sacrifice.

 

Something beautiful happens in the process, though. Always. And in spite of myself. 

 

When I'm in the middle of serving, and when I'm done, I feel a high that's hard to describe. It's as though my spirit's filled to overflowing and I can't stop smiling inside, even if I'm plum exhausted physically. Even if I'm cranky on the outside because I stepped on another Lego, I'm riding high on the inside. That deep down peace is what we're meant to feel, and it's available to every Believer.

 

Today the young boy who faithfully comes to every Children's Bible Study, and to AWANA with us, revealed the depth of his spiritual growth. Until recently we worried he would never "get it", but Wow! He's come far, and that can't even be typed without tears, it's so amazing.

 

I'll confess, at times we wondered if we'd made a mistake starting this study, since Landon is the only child who comes every single time. He's been fully committed, at first because he just liked coming down here and having ice cream and fellowship time. Our family structure--husband, wife, kids--isn't one he's ever experienced, so just being part of that was a positive for him, even if the Study itself didn't grow on him.

 

Now, 10 months later, he enjoys the Word of God. He actually reads ahead in his Jesus Storybook Bible and enjoys it!

 

I'm high-fiving the Holy Spirit for the work He's doing in this little boy's heart. 

 

Landon is a boy without a father in his life. A boy whose mother died when he was 18 months old. A boy who's being raised by a single grandmother who's plum tired out. A boy with special-needs issues that make him exhausting in some ways, especially for a grandmother who makes her living cleaning various businesses.

 

Yes, Landon has a tough road ahead with an aging support system. Without the Lord, the road will often seem dark and heavy to him. I can't say for sure how far his relationship with the Lord will go, but I can tell you that Jesus cares about the one sheep who wandered away from the other ninety-nine. He cares about every sheep, and even if we give up two years of Saturdays just for Landon's spiritual growth, it will be time well spent.

 

Because Jesus love you, Landon.

 

I'm learning that in serving, I'm fulfilling God's purpose for my life. I'm experiencing a fulfillment that can't match anything I might chase on this earth.

 

My problem is that while I'm preparing to serve--cleaning, getting everything ready--I feel deprived, as though I'm missing out on something else. Like weekend relaxing that other families enjoy.

 

I can serve with a happy heart, from start to finish, if I just get over that sense of entitlement.

 

Why are we entitled to spend our Saturdays the way we want? Or any day of the week, for that matter? We're bought and paid for, by a gracious God who wants to give us everything.

 

Our culture chases all kinds of material items and experiences, and it's so easy to get caught up in that. It's easy to think we deserve to spend our days amusing ourselves.

 

I'm sure a lot of you probably spend the weekends working on laundry and grocery shopping, so excuse me for making generalizations here, but there are many who seek frequent amusement--stemming from a sense of entitlement.

 

It's all folly when overdone, because what our souls truly crave comes from bending low and serving, like Jesus did. Jesus didn't take the disciples out for golf and baseball and beers. He was about his Father's business.

 

When we serve, we're also having fellowship with Jesus, making it all the more attractive. He's there by our side, giving us strength, grace, and joy. I feel Him there, and I feel the warm afterglow of faithful service.

 

The next Bible study comes two weeks from now, and I'm going to wake up with a different mindset. While I'm preparing, I'm going to remember how joyful it is to serve the Lord. How joyful it is to go after the one sheep. Any other mindset is just an illusion, put in my head by Satan.

 

The enemy wants self-serving Christians who are lord of their own lives. Christians who don't impact the world for Christ. Satan bombards Christians with many distractions, whether it be computer gaming, restaurants, golf, shopping, manicuring, pedicuring, or endless sports.

 

These may be amusing, but they are not fulfilling. Our souls don't crave amusement, but fulfillment. Burn out comes not from serving others, but from running our own lives. From being the pampered one, instead of the servant.

 

Jesus teaches: Do you want life? Come, Follow me.

 

Mark 8:34: “When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, “Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me

 

Revelation 14:1, 4: “Then I looked, and behold, a Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with Him … the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These were redeemed from among men, being firstfruits to God and to the Lamb.”

 

Philippians 3:7-10 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,        

Homeschool and Mother's Journal Nov 1

In my life this week…

Every week the Holy Spirit has something to reveal to me about my own heart, and usually, I'm not proud of the revelation. This morning as I was putting my contacts in, I heard a knock at the door...at 8:15 AM.

As soon as I heard it, I knew.

Dread and irritation flooded my heart. Still dressed in PJ's myself, I asked my oldest to throw on some sweats and answer the door. Sure enough, three of the four siblings across the street needed a ride to the elementary school. This time it was a flat tire.

We aren't morning people here and we hate rushing out the door. My kids dread these knocks as much as I do.

I made sure all four of my kids had clothes laid out, and I showered as quickly as I could, telling them to be dressed to shoes by the time I got out of the shower. Breakfast would have to wait, but bananas were on the counter, I added.

Forty minutes later we stopped in their driveway, and all three kids were waiting outside, ages 6, 7, and 10 (their teen gets a ride with a friend). This is a family that doesn't care a hoot about safety. As always, they offered me no booster seats; they don't use car seats of any kind.

They would rather I take all the kids at once and just fit them in anyway I can, because that's what they always do. I've seen this family of six crowd into a mid-sized car many times, though right now they have a van.

I'm a rule follower and a safety nut, so I take two trips in my van, loaded with my four kids and two of theirs, going back for their third child on the second trip. Only in the past couple months have I allowed my 11 year old to ride up front, and only when we have to accommodate another child is this done.

This morning, like other such mornings, I couldn't stop judging this family. Everything I don't like about them flooded my heart: they don't care about education, they don't care about books (they burned books I gave their 7-year-old daughter), they're smokers and pay more for cigarettes per week than a booster seat costs at Walmart. They buy toys for their kids sometimes and then don't have money for utilities.

You name it, they've done it, even borrowing money and regular milk and sugar and bandaids and whatever else they've needed, with nary a thank you. Once, after we quit giving them money, they asked me for $5, saying they would give me $10 in food stamps in trade. I was appalled.

Always, the requests come through their kids, often through handwritten notes.

I didn't want to take the 6 and 7 year olds without boosters, but neither did I want them to miss school, since truancy is common for them. My girls are both in boosters and we don't have any extras, and as much as I wanted to get them a couple boosters, my husband needs shoes and my son needs a birthday present, both of which will clean us out.

I took them to school anyway and thankfully all went well, but I judged the parents in my heart for two hours this morning, before I finally listened to the Holy Spirit.

He humbled me, reminding me that my neighbors need to be received in Christian love, because God desires mercy. God takes us where we're at, not looking at us in disgust, but focusing on who we will become in Him. He sees the transformed heart to come and loves that.

I think I want to be a missionary, but I haven't near the level of humility required to reflect Jesus' love adequately. How can I escort someone to the throne of grace, if I get bogged down by how much better I am than they are?

My neighbors live a different style of life, yes, but a more "educated" or refined style in which Anne of Green Gables and The Swiss Family Robinson are read aloud, is not more pleasing to the Lord. Professor Higgins is not better than Eliza Dolittle, just different.

Carseats and bicycle helmets are not next to godliness, any more than the 8 PM bedtime is.

We can get bogged down in so much judgement as we try to help people, and shame on us. Judgement cancels out any good deed we do, because God knows our hearts. If we give away a booster seat or a winter coat to make ourselves feel more holy--even if only subconsciously--for example, what good have we really done? God is grieved by our pride, by our impure motives.

Praise Him for his gracious forgiveness! He doesn't give up on us.

I had to apologize to my kids and to God, explaining that Mommy was wrong to judge their parents over carseats or anything else. The last thing I want is to raise haughty Christian kids who think they've arrived. It's hard enough for them to comprehend this on the average day: the Holy Spirit dwells in their hearts not because of their goodness, but because of his grace.

I think it's hard for us adults to grasp this, too?

In our homeschool this week…

During school hours the boys, ages 9 and 11, are reading Torches of Joy, Commodore Perry in the Land of the Shogun, and The Big Wave.







After read-aloud time, they've started reading for pleasure at night before bed; it keeps them out of trouble while they get drowsy. Right now, Encyclopedia Brown is all the rage, a series for 8 - 12 year olds they've just discovered. I'm a little surprised at them reading such easy books, but for the first time my Paul is reading copiously for pleasure without complaint, so I'm going to leave this alone and put few restraints (other than moral ones) on their bedtime reading.

I read a couple of these mysteries; they're short and somewhat brainy and the boys will be through most of them in a couple weeks anyway. Not classic literature, but not exactly twaddle either. Sonlight is providing plenty of heady, well-crafted books to devour in the daylight hours, thank goodness.

In science they're still focusing on the various organs and systems of the human body (Sonlight Science F).



I've written before about my girls, ages 4 and 6, using Sing, Spell, Read ,Write, the K-1 combo version.



What I haven't yet said is that the reading primers in this kit are very pleasing, compared to any I've seen. When Peter was in first grade I used Sonlight Beginning to Read, and the primers about drove me insane! They were dry and lifeless and we both hated them, but Sue Dickson, who wrote this program after teaching reading for over 2 decades, really put effort into that big stack of primers you see on the middle right (she put great skill and effort into every component of this program). My daughter enjoys them, as do I.  I'm so thankful to Sue for sharing her expertise and writing an outstanding reading program that has stood the test of time. It's expensive, but worth every penny. (No, not a commercial; I don't do commercials. Just a tip from a mom who's been tortured by bad reading primers.)

My favorite read-alouds for my girls this week:



Goodreads Synopsis: In the month of the Maple Sugar Moon, the snow's too wet for angel making, icicles rain from Grandpa's porch roof, and something is stirring in the woods. It's sugarbush spring--time to tap the trees, prepare the bottles, then gather round the cook fire to eat chicken and dumplings, roast marshmallows, and tell stories while the cold sap heats through, thickens, and boils to make syrup.

Chall's timeless story and Daly's glowing paintings invite children to share in the pleasure of making maple syrup--a process that's the same today as it was two hundred years ago.

Jim Daly's paintings are exquisite in this book. Loved it for so many reasons. All four of my children were glued to it as I read.

These next two are by the same author, and beautifully espouse the biblical truth: It is more blessed to give than to receive. We so enjoyed both of these and yes, there were tears (nobody dies--don't worry).


Goodreads Synopsis: Escaping from the protective walls of wealth and privilege, a young girl discovers the harsh world outside, where some people don't have as much as others. When she realizes that she has the power to help them, the young girl finds a strength and peace she never knew before. Making the loveliest quilts in all the land, the young girl decides to give them away.




Goodreads Synopsis: When a generous quilt maker finally agrees to make a quilt for a greedy king but only under certain conditions, she causes him to undergo a change of heart.



Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…

A consistent daily schedule leads to steady progress, and over time, to mastery of subject matter. That said, don't forget to enjoy the gifts God provides in the form of seasons. On the first snow day, let them stop the book work and marvel at the snowflakes. Make that day special--make snowmen inside or out, read snow books, bake some comfort food, etc.

When the leaves are falling, rake them into piles and have fun. Start some leaf compost, read leaf books, press leaves into paint and make a masterpiece. Take a nature walk to enjoy the blanket of color all around. 

Homeschooling has to be a discipline, yes, but it's also about living a one-piece life--responding to the gifts and the work God provides on each day, and living fully in his presence. We don't want to just "get through" a day, but enjoy its gifts...savor it as a God-given opportunity to praise Him and acknowledge him, even in the mundane things. He's given us an abundant life...and we need to notice it!

My favorite thing this week was…

Watching the children enjoy fall.
















My kiddos favorite thing this week was…

Enjoying fall, and the Quiltmaker books shown above, and getting free candy. This is only our third year doing the Halloween thing, and the candy is amazing to them....all this for free?! We figured if we're going to minister to neighbors and have a children's Bible study, we have to get out there and mingle.

This is the second year my youngest's candy is disappearing faster than the other bags. Someone, besides Momma, is sneaking chocolate from her bucket. (I keep them up high.) I can't wait until this candy is gone, let me tell you. They want a piece after every meal, and they spend time mildly arguing over the trades they make...about whether a Snickers is worth a box of Nerds, for example.

My husband tried to protect our four year old as soon as the trading started: "The chocolates are the best, Beth. Don't let them take your chocolates."

Maybe he's been dipping into her candy? :)

Things I’m working on…

I'm working on expanding our dinner menus. We've eaten the same things for a while now, and it was time to mix things up.

I'm also praying for a humble heart that loves instead of judges.

I’m cooking…

chicken noodle soup

garlic cheddar chicken

taco soup

meat loaf

crockpot chicken enchiladas

potato soup

roasted chicken

We're baking apple crisp and chocolate-chip cookie bars, and maybe some homemade wheat bread for the potato soup night.

One of the reasons my husband loves me is that I make him a whole chicken about once a week. Chicken is a close third behind his love for God and me...and sometimes chicken is second. :).

I’m grateful for…

~ my husband

~ four children to share my days and dreams with

~ morning devotions in Matthew

~ the Holy Spirit, who never lies to me about my own heart

~ four seasons and beautiful leaves raining down today

~ a warm house with blankets to cuddle under

~ a little boy turning 10, and I'm not crying yet that I can't call him little anymore

~ grace for the long haul

~ homemade birthday cake

~ Beth's arthritic knees were so swollen this week (following a cold virus I guess, since this is auto-immune and gets worse with illnesses). I feared they would raise her methotrexate dose at next week's appointment, so I started praying in earnest for a miraculous, overnight change. I did definitely detect a decrease in her swelling today--praise God!

~ my pretty red coat from Goodwill for $7

A quote to share...

James 4:6
But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."

Colossians 3:12
And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;

Thank you for reading, friend. How was your week?