A Christmas Album by Shaun Groves

Shaun Groves is "a speaker and musician sharing stories and songs to inspire generous living at home and around the world". He works for Compassion International, warming up audiences at concerts before headlining musicians come up, where he talks about Compassion International and invites people to come to a Sponsor table to begin a sponsorship relationship. He also travels to speak at churches and other venues. He blogs here.

He released a Christmas album, which you can listen to below. We love the songs here! 

Click here to buy on iTunes

Shaun's album is also available on his website store here.

And on Amazon here.

On Abiding in Christ, Part 2

Today's Abiding in Christ word comes from John Piper. I particularly loved several parts of a sermon he preached in April, 2011 on this topic. Those parts are excerpted below. Please find the full message here. John Piper's words in red.

5 Questions Raised by Verse 31

....today we focus on verse 31: "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.'" And I have five questions that this verse raises—all are crucial for your life:

1. What does it mean to "truly be Jesus's disciples"? ("You are truly my disciples.")
2. What is Jesus referring to by the phrase "my word"? ("If you abide in my word…")
3. What does it mean to be "in" that word? ("If you abide in my word…")
4. What does it mean to "abide" there? ("If you abide in my word…")
5. What's the relationship between abiding in his word and truly being his disciple? ("If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.")

For the purposes of our study, we'll deal only with John Piper's answers to questions 2, 3, 4, 5. 

Answer Number 2

Our second question from John 8:31 is: What is Jesus referring to by the phrase, "my word"? "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples."

The word is singular, "my word," not "my words." This means that Jesus is thinking of the sum of all that he has taught. We could leave it at that: Jesus means "abide in the sum of all that Jesus taught." But my guess is that Jesus wants us to ponder what the sum of that word is. And surely the answer to that is: He is the sum of his word. All his words in one way or another draw our attention to him.

Words like: "I am the bread of life" (John 6:35). "I am the light of the world" (John 8:12). "I am not of this world" (John 8:23). "I am the good shepherd" (John 10:11). "I am in the Father" (John 10:38). "I am the resurrection and the life" (John 11:25). When you take all his words together, they have one great focus—Jesus himself. "These are written—all these words are written—so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God" (John 20:31). They all point to him.

All Jesus' Words Point to Him

Which is why when you get to chapter 15, Jesus can say, not only "abide in my word," but "abide in me." "If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch" (John 15:6).

So the answer to our second question would be: The phrase "my word" here in John 8:31 ("if you abide in my word") refers to the sum of Jesus' teaching which is summed up in himself and all that he is for us as the crucified and risen Son of God.

Answer number 3

3. What does it mean to be "in" that word?

Now the third question from verse 31 is: What does it mean to be "in" that word? "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples." Here's a picture of what I think it means. The word of Jesus, with himself as the center and focus of it, has a kind of force field, like a magnetic field around it. And when you are "in his word," you are in that force field. You are under the sway of that force coming from his word. So, for example:

• Part of this force field is the truth of the word. So when you are "in" the word, you are in the persuasion of the truth of the word. You are persuaded that the word is true. And you live in force field of that persuasion. You live in the truth.
• Another part of this force field is the beauty of the word (I'm referring here to moral and spiritual beauty, not stylistic beauty), and when you are "in" the word you in the attraction of that beauty. You are held by that beauty.
• Another part of the force field is the supreme value of the word, and when you are "in" the word you are captured by the preciousness of the word, and the Savior. You are drawn to treasure the word.
• Another part of the force field of the word is the power and grace of the word, so that when you are "in" the word, you made peaceful and hopeful by the word. You trust in the word. Because it can do what it promises; and what is promises is gracious.
• Another part of this force field is the word as the life-giving, soul-sustaining bread of heaven, so that when you are "in" the word, you are in the nourishment of the word. You are being fed and strengthened by the word.
• And the force field includes the word as living water so that when you are "in" the word, you are being refreshed by the word.
• And the force field includes the word as light so that when you are "in" the word, you being illumined and guided by the word. You see everything in the light of the word.

So when Jesus says, "If you abide in my word…," being "in" his word means being in

• the persuasion of its truth,
• and the attraction of its beauty,
• and the treasuring of its value,
• and the peacefulness of its grace and power,
• and the nourishment of its bread,
• and the refreshment of its water,
• and the brightness of its light.

To be "in" the word of Jesus is a whole new life. This is what it is to be a true disciple. To live "in" the word of the riches of the word of Jesus.

Answer Number 4

4. What does it mean to abide in his word?

"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples." The word "abide" is simply the word "remain." It doesn't carry in it any special spiritual connotations in itself. It means remain in his word. Don't leave it.

This doesn't mean that you can't lay your Bible down and go to your work. No. Abiding in the word of Jesus means remaining in that force field of the word. It means not leaving it.

• Abide means not ceasing to be persuaded by its truth, and never elevating any other truth above it.
• Abide means not ceasing to be attracted by its beauty and value, and never seeing anything as more beautiful or more valuable or more attractive than the word and the Lord it reveals.
• Abide means not ceasing to rest in its grace and power—never turning away as though greater peace could be found anywhere else.
• Abide means never ceasing to eat and drink from the word as the bread of heaven and living water, as if life could be sustained anywhere else.
• And abide means never ceasing to walk in the light of the word, as though any other light could show the secrets of life.

This is what it means to be a true disciple. "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples." And the fact that Jesus puts the emphasis on abiding—remaining—gives the answer to our last question:

Answer Number 5

5. How are abiding in his word and truly being his disciple related to each other?

"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples." Jesus is saying that the mark of the true disciple is lasting, enduring, persevering, keeping on in the force field of the word. Temporary tastes of the truth and beauty and value and power and grace and bread and water and brightness of the word do not make you a Christian. The mark of Christians is that we taste and we stay.

To whom shall we go? You, O Lord, have the words of life (John 6:68).

By John Piper. ©2014 Desiring God Foundation. Website: desiringGod.org

John Piper really knows how to get to the heart of Scripture, yes? I heard him say once that he has a reading disability (maybe he mentioned dyslexia...I can't remember, but he's a slow reader) so he doesn't get through a lot of books. He concentrates mainly on the Bible, and it shows! 

This sermon found here, at Desiring God. Thirty-seven years of sermons are available at Desiring God at this link. They're grouped by year, series, Scripture, and topic. Or you can do a search.

On Abiding in Christ, Part 1

Psalm 127:1-2 “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

"Most of us are preoccupied with our performance as Christians, rather than being occupied with the person of Christ. We are more interested in the results we achieve than in simply resting in Him—abiding in Him. We want to appropriate His power, but fail to appreciate His person. Abiding stresses the source of our life and strength, but we frequently ignore the person of Christ to seek the product of our union with Him. We have the cart before the horse.

Abiding is our obligation; fruitfulness is God’s concern. The True Vine is the Author, the Source and the Finisher of our faith. We should be seeking His fellowship, and leaving the fruit to Him."

Quoted italics found here.

John 15:1-11 
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener....Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me....I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples....As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 

The vine analogy, and the sheep analogy, both paint portraits of helplessness. The branches are dead without the vine, and the sheep are dead without the shepherd. We cannot live joyful lives in Christ, fully alive and robust, without a fellowship relationship with Him. The close walking together. The close conversations over the Bible and over prayer. We cannot go on day after day, too busy to sit at His feet. This is huge for multitasking women to grasp; we fail often at abiding.

Our fruit won't be of good quality, our comfort won't be complete, our faith will be weak, our love for others will be superficial. Such are the consequences of failing to abide. 

Abiding is our work. It is our only work.

That's a different way to think of the Christian life, isn't it? That abiding is our only work? Everything Christ wants to do through us, will come from our abiding.

So whatever you think you are doing in Christ's name, ask yourself, is it instead of my devotional time? Does it make me too busy for devotional time? Train yourself to abide (believing, depending, persevering), not perform. Practice relationship with God first, whereby you learn to believe, depend, and persevere. And this is ongoing. It is not learned, and then you're done. You continue to fellowship with God, and he continues to fill you with the Spirit, who helps you abide.

In the time leftover, let God orchestrate something for your God-given gifts and talents--for your works that bring Him glory. Works can't be forced; whatever we do in our own strength, won't glorify God. 

I say it again...Abiding is our work. It is our only work. It is also the only thing that truly satisfies our soul.

To the Teen Who Thinks Marijuana is Cool

A mother at my church is burdened for her 13-year-old son who began recently using marijuana, because, in his words, "Life is better with marijuana." My own upbringing didn't make this much of a stretch to write (having had a self-medicating parent). I added details making it relevant for teens. The end product is a generic self-medicating narrative. I pray it helps my friend's teen, or another one, though parents may have to change it to fit for their children.

Dear Teen,

Being you, really you, is hard. Cutting up to fit in with the other boys is socially expected--it seems boys aren't allowed to be serious or shy or studious--but you're not interested in being silly. It just isn't you. You're having trouble finding your slice of the social pie, and yet being left out entirely feels bad. Unnatural.

The fringe people, though? They seem to welcome you. They don't expect anything from you, or at least it seems that way. After a while, they offer you their funny cigarettes, and being an adventurous person, you try them.

Miraculously, your personality seems more dynamic. You start having fun for a change.

Being with these fringe people...well, it seems pretty good. You've found your special slice of the social pie, finally. Life is good. 

Some people, like your parents, don't approve and get angry, but really, you're not hurting anyone and marijuana is not addictive. So you find ways to keep buying it, keep using it, keep meeting with these same friends.

You don't worry about the future, knowing you can stop this when you want to. When it's time to get serious about life, you will, but right now, who cares? Kids your age should be having fun, right? They should have friends, good times, be making memories to write in yearbooks. All that's happening for you now, and you're not going to let anyone mess it up.

The truth you don't see?

You were confused about what matters in this life, and life got so heavy. Fitting in and having a slice of the social pie makes up a minute part of a long life--a life so different from high school. We're teens for a nano second. Once we graduate high school, we're all on a level playing field. The homecoming king has no advantage over the polite boy who never said hello to a single girl in four years of high school classes. They both have to start from scratch making something of their lives. Popularity means nothing. Sincerity becomes important.

Let's get to the root of the problem. When faced with what felt so heavy, what was your answer? Self-medication.

God is our healer. The lover of our soul. The One to whom we belong, always. He gives us our worth. Our talents. Our gifts. He has a plan for our lives, and it is beautiful. Before we were born, he knew us.

When you began self-medicating, my young friend, your problems weren't solved.

The real ones have just begun.

Choosing a drug that changes your personality, or your perception of reality, to make life seem better than it is, is the beginning of a long heartache--yours, and your family's.

The first and most pervasive problem is denial. You will keep convincing yourself that you can stop this at any time, but all the while, you are reinforcing for your brain that the answer to negative feelings is to reach for the medication. It will give you an escape; it will become a knee-jerk reaction that you give little thought to after a while.

While using it, you can deny your pain, and deny your dysfunctional response to pain.

How will it affect your life?

When you become romantically attached to someone, it will be to an unhealthy enabler. She will bring baggage and have her own problems to add to yours. All healthy girls will know better than to date a drug user. As long as you keep your self-medicating ways, you are marked--for unhealthy liaisons.

Have plans for children later on? They will grow up trying to love you, but it will be so hard, what with all the pain you'll cause them. Your kids may grow up just like you. Addicts. Or they're marry addicts and prolong the pain you started. And your grandchildren? Do you think your kids will even want them exposed to you? Your family's love for you will be more like pity. In fact, all the love anyone has for you will be more like pity. Self-medicating people are pitiful, not lovable. They're too selfish to be lovable.

Down the line, all you'll love is your drug. It will be your baby. Your sweetheart. You'll do anything for it. You'll dream of it. Lust after it. Scheme ways to get it; plan ways to hide it.

You'll be disgusting.

Sooner or later you will anger or disappoint just about everybody, and only your most loyal enablers--the ones who are the most sick themselves--will still be with you.

So, what is the alternative for you? Is there an alternative?

Learn the rhythms of life and do not fear them. Life is neither all good nor all bad. Neither all beautiful nor all ugly. You will know joy and sorrow. Happiness and sadness. Pain and pleasure. You will walk through valleys and over peaks, and with you always will be the Lord your God, who is mighty to save. He will never leave you nor forsake you. In your worst hour, in your best hour, he will be there--not to remove your worst hour, or prolong your best, but to offer his Presence.  To share his Joy. To quiet you with his Love. To fill you with his Peace. 

He comforts you here and glorifies you in heaven. You're covered, down here and up there. And you get to work for him here in glorious ways, being part of miracles, if only you'll trust him.

Embrace life, in all its imperfection. Don't run. Don't hide. Don't cower. Trust the Lord your God, Author of the Universe, to give you a soul high. A lasting joy that comes from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Please pray? Dear Lord, forgive me. I love you. I want to embrace this life you've given me. Help me to be strong and courageous. Help me to trust you with my troubles and my pain. Teach me to come to you in my sorrow. Teach me to lay my burdens down before you. Teach me to value each day as a gift. Help me to view these days of social angst in light of all my years. Help me to draw close to my family and love them well. Transform my heart. Make me your servant. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Updated: Marriage, Pink Frosting, and Divorce

*Updated at the end

We all enjoy chocolate in this family, so for birthdays I make the same delicious, moist, homemade chocolate cake every time, with homemade chocolate frosting. A couple of the kids, however, have their minds set on colored frosting. They're enticed by the fancy, store-bought look of it.

I don't have much luck with food coloring myself, so I usually just buy a commercial frosting in these cases, like today, when Beth wanted pink frosting on her birthday cake. I hate feeding my family this unnatural, poor-tasting frosting, but it's a couple times a year at most, so it's not worth arguing over.

But everyone--except the enticed one--will usually say something akin to..."This frosting is awful."

Someone asked me for marriage advice this week and I've prayed about what to advise, if anything. (We'll get back to the frosting shortly.) I have very few details, but I know this particular situation did not involve domestic violence. Please, if you are being abused, get away to a shelter or to a family member or friend capable of protecting you.

If you and your children are really unhappy, and you've tried encouraging everyone involved, to no avail, what is the next step?

Divorce is enticing when everyday life with your spouse is unpleasant and stressful, or when most days feel hateful, or at best, loveless. I've never reached this point and I pray I never will, but I can imagine it feels utterly hopeless, with a long, dreadful road ahead.

But consider this: Divorce is like the pink frosting. Looks mighty enticing at first, but when you take the bait and have a mouthful of it...yuck. Definitely not what you hoped for.

After the divorce, problems crop up faster than July weeds. Personal problems multiply; children's problems multiply; money problems multiply. Your quality of life won't improve; you only trade one set of problems for all new, multifaceted problems that will be with you until death.

I don't know any divorced, content people, other than those who came to Christ after their divorce. Getting remarried isn't promising either; statistics show the majority of second and third marriages also end in divorce. Although, the success rates of second marriages may be higher than average when the divorces proceeding them were for biblically-sound reasons. The statistics we generally have available aren't broken down this way.

Anyhow, before we discuss what to do for unpleasant marriages, what about the worst kind of marriages? Does the Bible protect us?

Scriptural reasons for divorce: 

~ Unrepentant adultery (Matthew 19: 6, 9)

~ Abandonment by a non-believing spouse (1 Cor. 7:15). If you are a Christian, having become one either before or after you married, and your spouse is a non-Christian, you should stay in the unequally yoked marriage unless your unbelieving spouse chooses to divorce you. If the spouse divorces or leaves you, then you are not bound to the marriage covenant any longer. You are free to get remarried.

Valid reasons for separation, and subsequent counseling/law enforcement/court involvement:

~ Physical or sexual abuse of adults or children
~ Ongoing drug or alcohol abuse
~ Stealing or other unlawful activity
~ No attempt from husband to support family as expected, outside of mental or physical injury or disorder

The Bible doesn't ask you to stay in an unlawful situation (violence against another that is not self-defense, is illegal). We are to submit to the governing authorities over us, including the laws of the land.

If the above don't apply to the marriage, what then?

I'm assuming you have already tried:

1.  Praying regularly for your marriage.

2.  Being consistent with your personal devotional time.

Any positive change starts with these two things. The Holy Spirit is our Counselor. We need to seek his wisdom in all things, through Bible reading and prayer.

Sometimes a change of heart is needed, such as more gratitude, more humility, more meekness, more faithfulness, or just more faith, period.

Other times it's more complicated, such as when one or both spouses have a chronic disorder such as autism spectrum disorder, bipolar, ADHD, depression, PTSD, chronic fatigue, etc. In these instances we may need a counselor or a professional book to address the ways these disorders affect the marriage. Just being an adult child of an alcoholic can affect a marriage.

When you're in the middle of the turmoil, it's hard to think or see clearly; the downward spiral is exhausting.

A Problem Solving Conference

Choosing the calmest time for both of you, put all the possible issues on the table that may be affecting your interaction with one another. Think of this not as a time to blame, but as an investigative conference over coffee (my husband and I hate coffee, so that's laughable). Look back even to memories of your parents' marriages and how their patterns may have negatively impacted yours.

When talking about the issues, restrict your statements to "I feel" statements, rather than "You keep doing such and such". If someone gets defensive and angry, you're going no where with this. Have a signal agreed upon beforehand, like the rattle of the car keys, to indicate that someone feels blamed, so you can both regroup and start again, begging each other's pardon.

Once you have a laundry list of possible issues affecting your marriage, classify them based upon what's needed to solve them. For example, if there is depression or anxiety, a counselor or doctor might be needed, so keep a column for "professional help".

If one of you is an adult child of an alcoholic, you could probably get by with reading Adult Children of Alcoholics, rather than seeing a counselor (or both), so make a column for "self-help or spiritual books".

If one of you has ADHD, there are blogs you can read related to having an ADHD-impacted marriage, and books as well. These particular ADHD picks are not Christian, but you could glean something helpful and add it to your spiritual knowledge base.

If you're a mouse and you married a roaring lion, or vice versa, there is often a reason for that, and you need not be miserable forever in the marriage. Dysfunctional upbringings bring about some pretty interesting combinations, but God can redeem the unhealthy patterns. He can use counselors and pastors and books to help us unlock the mysteries in our marriages. Just be prepared to have someone point out your sins (through your prayer time, while you're in the Bible, or in counseling with your pastor). Because any marriage problem will deal with sin of one kind or another, even if lack of grace is the only one.

There are systematic approaches to solving problems, and when we say we've tried everything, I wonder how much of that is emotional, and how much reality? Where are the notes or the data proving we've tried everything?  Did the counselor or pastor give up too? Did he or she say it was hopeless? Pretend you are a counselor who has to keep good notes to prove to a supervisor that you tried everything to save a marriage. Yours.

Three Final Points

~ Remember, God is mighty to save. It is with his power that we succeed at all. Trying to do any of this in your power won't work. Wake up every morning, asking, What can I do for my marriage today, God? Let it be Him doing the work, through you. Look ahead to what God will do in your marriage, and don't get stuck in today.

~ There are so many unknowns in life, our marriages included. My husband could die in a car accident tomorrow. He could fall off a ladder and suffer a brain injury next week. Our issues could improve with time and less stress, or they could get worse with age and health issues. We just don't know. My six-year-old Beth has an aggressive auto-immune arthritis and she may or may not ever grow out of it. She may not be up to having many children, depending on what her joints are like in her twenties. I have no idea how it all will affect her life, her movement, her outlook.

Some things in life just stink and we have to accept them, looking forward to heaven and perfection. Some marriage situations just stink and they are a cross to bear for some, such as with brain injury tragedies. (Happened to a vice principal at my old high school--fell off a ladder while putting up Christmas lights and never worked again). They have to be accepted, for want of a better solution. That stinks, but God is not absent from that, anymore than he is from my daughter's chronic disease. He is still there, comforting, providing daily grace. You are never alone.

~ Gratitude is a solution to almost any woe. You can be personally grateful for things in your life, outside of your husband and your marriage, and this attitude of heart will radiate outward, and I bet it influences your husband for good. Your inner beauty, gathered from Bible readings, quiet time with the Father in prayer, glad times writing in your gratitude journal...these will all add to the beauty and joy in your life, regardless of your husband and marriage. You are more than your marriage...more than a wife.

You are a daughter of the King first.

* Updated - While in the shower this morning the Lord gave me a word to add to this.

We are in the season of Advent, which is a time of anticipation and waiting. Indeed, before the coming of the Christ child, the world was without a word from the Lord for 400 years. Those long years represent the time between the last prophet and the coming of the Messiah. Silence.

Children have a hard time in this season, anticipating the opening of any packages, and even as adults sometimes, we haven't come very far in our ability to delay gratification. We want every desire fulfilled yesterday, not tomorrow or five years from now.

What is missing, most often, is our ability or desire to rest and abide in Christ. Most things, except our hunger and shelter and clothing, can wait, if only we learn to abide in Christ. I give you a link, rather than try to explain abiding, because it's a topic requiring a post of its own, which I will get to.

Remember that the Lord is mostly about the business of two things--magnifying His glory and securing souls. A divorce glorifies Satan, while a previously messy, disastrous marriage, restored and glorified, magnifies Christ and his power. God wants to remake your marriage. He loves to do it, but it can't be done overnight.  Maybe not even in a year, or two years. You may be ready, but your spouse? Not so much? Don't despair about that, because God is all about miracles. Didn't he get you ready?

We simply must learn to abide in Him while he works. Consider that our whole lives, more curves will come. Abiding is the answer, no matter the problem. Problems will come and go, but abiding is like a foundation that never falters.

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