A Stray Dog and a Prayer

They begged and pleaded, and we said no and no and no. We can't afford a dog right now. We can't afford a dog right now. We can't afford a dog right now.

You get the picture, yes? How this sounded week after week, as soon as they had opportunity to pet a dog somewhere? Or see a dog movie?

Finally, I changed my answer to their pleading, as I often do when they plead for something that costs money: Whatever you think you need, pray about it. If God agrees, he will provide it in time.

About 18 months ago, we adopted a dog who kept snapping at the kids, though not actually biting them. We gave it three months, before giving him back to the rescue operation, when a particular snapping scared us pretty badly.

The kids and I mourned the loss of the dog, but we knew rescue dogs often have serious issues. We couldn't afford a professional trainer, or risk a bite either, for that matter. We waited for God to drop a suitable dog in our laps, along with the funds for purchase. It was just too distracting for Peter to peruse dog sites constantly (obsessively). Many of the rescue fees were $200 per dog.

Fast forward about 12 months.

One of the neighbor kids found the little guy pictured above--a German Shepherd mix we presume--roaming the neighborhood. She kept it at her house, and posted lost dog ads on three different websites. She's had the dog a week, and she daily brought him over here for outdoor playtime in our fenced yard. My kids became attached to the dog's puppy-like energy and fetching antics, not to mention his loving ways. He marks his territory already, which I think occurs in male dogs six months and over, especially if they haven't been neutered (he hasn't been).

About this same time we learned that the neighbor girl's family is losing their house at the end of the month, and they still hadn't found a home for the dog. They already have one dog, and this new one doesn't take well to other dogs, though he doesn't seem to guard his resources (food or water or toys).

I thought of all the reasons keeping the dog here was a bad idea, especially since I didn't know how long he had been a stray or what issues he might have--though he seemed like a great, fun-loving, energetic dog, perfectly matching my children's energy levels. As well, German Shepherds make good therapy dogs. I watched closely out the window each day and noticed that the dog seemed to keep Peter's OCD at bay temporarily.

Finally, with everything considered, God spoke to my heart and He changed my no to a maybe...we might be able to see how it goes, if Daddy agrees. The Lord reminded me of the kids' sincere dog prayers. We had to assume that if God provided a free dog, he would also provide for his food and other bills.

We're still in the first 24 hours of possession, but we can all tell the dog--who appears to be between six months and a year old--has been housetrained and at least knows something of a dog crate, although the neighbor girl let him sleep on her bed, which spoiled him. Our pediatrician has long said "no pets in the bedrooms" because of allergies, so bedroom sleeping is not an option for us.

We're rusty with crate usage and forgot to lock its side door when we went to the dentist yesterday, and he got out of it, without damaging the house, thank goodness. And last night he whined in it for 45 minutes, before falling asleep (from midnight to 6:30, when my husband went to the kitchen). We're hoping for more sleep tonight. I believe he's old enough to sleep eight hours, once he acclimates here.

We plan to take him to a vet who does free microchip checks, to try to find an owner, before claiming him as ours. Taking him for frequent walks should also help us find an owner, if he lived in this neighborhood.

The neighbor girl was undisciplined with him and allowed mouthing during play, which we will have to train out of him if we want to keep him. It's mild, however. I told the kids not to do tug-of-war games that encourage mouthing.

We'll keep you posted. Needless to say, I've got some happy, grateful kids right now.

Do you have a dog? How did the crate training go at night, after the initial potty training? I've read three or four articles on it, but I still feel less than confident in it. That whining was hard to take last night, but I stood firm, knowing to give in was the worst thing I could do, and not having the luxury of time to acclimate him slowly. I couldn't let a stray dog have the run of the house or even the kitchen, nor did we have enough barricade items, since he jumps. He seemed like he had at least seen a crate before as he went in readily, but not sleeping in one ever, or at least for a time, was a problem.

We don't care for the name Pedro, which is what the neighbor girl gave him, but for training purposes we will keep it for now, and maybe even get used to it.

Homeschool Weekly Wrap-Up Sept.2015

Our learning life is busy and focused, leaving little time for documentation, though I'm trying. I like to start my weekly wrap-ups with a gratitude journal, but I did that yesterday here.

Outings: About 3 different nature spots were visited late August and this month, giving the kids time to explore creeks and a river. They found salamanders, crayfish and other live treasures. We've been in a drought of sorts the last two months, so park visits have been more plentiful. Usually, summer storms get in the way of adventures. The farmers are praying for rain and we're praying with them. The local corn growers don't have much to sell, unfortunately.

Two months post eye-muscle surgery, Beth's brain is doing a good job forcing her eyes to work together. I rarely see them wander now, thank goodness. And she doesn't need glasses! Unless something changes, I don't foresee another eye muscle surgery.

This is a hive.

Beth, with her arthritis, was exhausted after this visit, what with all the climbing. The creek bed was quite a hike to get in and out of.

They were surprised to see a raccoon in plain site at the park.

Beth is playing homeschool here with her dolls and stuffies. She's teaching a Bible lesson and it warmed my heart to listen to her. My little one is wise beyond her years.

A hawk spotted on the neighbor's roof.

During the reading part of devotions the kids like to draw. Peter had been working on this undersea picture for several days.

Here Daddy is reading a Squanto book as part of the girls' Beautiful Feet Early American History curriculum. He has taken responsibility for the girls' history and science readings, alternating between them every other night, after dinner and before devotions. They are listening and drawing at a table, which works out just fine for read-alouds.

So far, they've listened to Leif the Lucky by Ingri and Edgar D'Aulaire , and Columbus, and Pocohontas by the same authors. Currently it's Squanto Friend of the Pilgrims by Clyde Bulla, which will be followed by Pilgrim Stories by Margaret Pumphrey.

I didn't buy the books from the company--only the guide. We've been ordering the books from Search Ohio, a library consortium encompassing all of Ohio's libraries. My local libraries don't have many of them, so I don't know what I'd do without Search Ohio this year, which saves us a lot of money, though I couldn't do it for the boys' curriculum. That would be too complicated since they school together and share all their books. It isn't convenient to keep track of due dates, and the charges are higher when you put books on hold from other townships/cities, unfortunately.

In All About Reading 3 we're studying vowel and consonant suffixes

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The kids get into stages where they knit and sew, and then drop it for a month or so. Mary forgot how to knit so Paul is giving another lesson, which apparently contained its share of humor because they were awfully giggly. The hardest thing about teaching knitting is getting in a position in which your student can see what your hands are doing. 

Our library recently got some new books, including these Playaway book backs, containing several books read aloud from a tiny player you attach headphones to. The packs come with the books too. My girls loved the six different packs they picked out, and Peter listened to Frindle this way.

Snacking on homemade bread while listening to a book.

The boys have been busy reading Sonlight Core H novels and books these last six weeks, featured below:

- How to Stay Christian in High School

Synopsis: High school is full of temptations. How can you stay focused on God? This book tells about teenagers in the Bible and how they handled hard issues. Their examples can help you remember your identity in Christ when life gets hard.

Escape Across the Wide Sea

Synopsis: On a crisp fall day in 1686, nine-year-old Daniel Bonnet's comfortable life is shattered when the king's soldiers destroy his family's weaving shop and threaten to murder his father. Now, because they are Huguenots, Protestants who refuse to convert to the king's religion, the Bonnets must flee France. In the ensuing violence, Daniel is left permanently maimed. Wounded and in severe pain, he embarks on an uncertain and courageous journey that will last more than two years and take him to Africa and the Caribbean on a slave ship, and finally to the colony of New York. In this stirring coming-of-age story about the founding of New Rochelle, New York, a boy must invent a new life for himself while confronting the challenges and moral complexities of slavery, inequality, and life with a disability.

- The Ravenmaster's Secret

Synopsis: Best-selling author Elvira Woodruff's thrilling novel set in 1700s London tells of a young boy who must make some painful choices as he attempts to save the life of a prisoner he's befriended.

11-year-old Forrest lives at the Tower of London prison, where his father tends the Tower ravens and guards inmates. Forrest's only friends are his pet raven, his father's prisoners (who all end up dead), and Ned, the young rat catcher. Soon Forrest's father gets a new prisoner: Maddie, the beautiful daughter of a Scottish spy. Immediately Forrest and Maddie become friends. But when she is slated for execution, Forrest must make some painful choices: Should he commit treason to help her escape, or obey the law and let his innocent friend be hung?

- In Search of Honor

Synopsis: Young Jacques Chenier, caught up in the anarchy and terror of the French Revolution, finds himself living a precarious existence as one calamity succeeds another. His biggest fight, however, is to free himself from the prison of his own bitterness.

- The Arrow Over the Door

Synopsis: For young Samuel Russell, the summer of 1777 is a time of fear. The British Army is approaching, and the Indians in the area seem ready to attack. To Stands Straight, a young Abenaki Indian scouting for King George, Americans are dangerous enemies who threaten his family and home. When Stands Straight's party enters the Quaker Meetinghouse where Samuel worships, the two boys share an encounter that neither will ever forget. Told in alternating viewpoints, The Arrow over the Door is based on a true story.

 

- The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Don't ask me why this was put in with Sonlight Core H. It's usually a younger kids' read, but it's a good book with a more complex plot than first meets the eye, so many ages can glean something. It helps us see the beauty of the Christmas story with new eyes. I suppose Sonlight thought something lighter should be throw in there too.

Synopsis: The Herdmans are the worst kids in the history of the world. They lie, steal, smoke cigars, swear, and hit little kids. So no one is prepared when this outlaw family invades church one Sunday and decides to take over the annual Christmas pageant.

None of the Herdmans has ever heard the Christmas story before. Their interpretation of the tale -- the Wise Men are a bunch of dirty spies and Herod needs a good beating -- has a lot of people up in arms. But it will make this year's pageant the most unusual anyone has seen and, just possibly, the best one ever.

How was your week, friends? Thank you for reading here and have a blessed weekend!

Kris Bales from Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers is sharing her Compassion International experience here, and asks you to read about four children who need sponsors. She started supporting Compassion five years ago, after following Kristen Welsh's first Kenya trip as a Compassion Blogger, which is when we started our Compassion International relationship as well. Our Compassion kids' letters are the highlight of our months and I encourage you to check this organization out. I can't say enough good things about them. Writing to these kids is truly one of my greatest pleasures, and my children are learning so much from the whole experience. We only sponsor two, but we write to six total, four of them being correspondent children, whose own sponsors don't write to them.

You can read Compassion International's award-winning blog here.

Gratitude Journal

Some of these are blessings that come through tears, and some are no-strings-attached blessings. One thing my life story teaches me is that a blessing is whatever situates you at the Lord's feet, either to adore Him, or draw strength from Him.

~ My daughter Beth's arthritis seems to have spread to the knuckles in both hands, but despite that, she remains happy, energetic, and is still intent on drawing prolifically, hoping to illustrate books some day. She inspires me, which helps me absorb the disappointment that God is thus far choosing not to heal her aggressive arthritis (despite using all the medicines available). However, she is not in a wheelchair, which would have been her fate in the past. We still have much to remain thankful for with modern medicine.

~ My husband's steadfast, genuine love.

~ My daughters' sweet hugs and kisses multiple times a day.

~ Though my Peter struggles mightily with his OCD, he still pledges allegiance to God and believes that through God's strength, he will beat this. It's very stressful for the whole family, but the siblings mercy him and pray for him, rather than resent him. And for that, I'm very grateful.

~ The blessing of homeschooling.

~ Learning to love people for themselves, and not for what we hope them to be. As soon as we let go of our expectations, we can truly appreciate the people God has strategically placed in our lives. When you're grading a paper, expectations are good. When you're training children to clean up after themselves, expectations are good. When you're trying to love your fellow man, expectations can get in the way.

"While we were sinners, Christ died for us." He loved us, despite our flaws. Trust is conditional--people have to earn and maintain our trust--but love should be unconditional. That's not to say you stay in proximity of people who are abusing you. We can unconditionally love someone just by praying for them consistently. We can't bring ourselves to pray for someone unless we've allowed, or forced, our heart to love them.

~ Instead of co-teaching AWANA Cubbies (preschoolers), I'm co-teaching AWANA Trek this year, which is the middle school club. I'm enjoying that very much.

~ Children growing in knowledge of the Lord and His ways.

~ God's amazing provision, which never fails.

~ Wisdom and stamina from the Lord, as I deal with health issues and homeschooling and scheduling.

~ New kind lady friends at church, one of whom I co-teach with in Trek.

~ That God loves story and gives us all a personal, compelling story--stories that reflect his glory and fill us with living water.

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A Little Family Wisdom

My kids may as well have been born in a different century, or so it seems sometimes. We're in a church with lots of children, and consequently my kids are perceiving more and more how other kids' lives are different from theirs.

Basically, when you take away all disposable income (money to entertain oneself outside the home or the park) and take away video- and electronic-games and Internet phones, what you have is an existence for kids that mirrors more what it was like in the mid to late twentieth century. That is, kids who entertained themselves with the natural environment (creeks, ponds, fields, backyards), and with bats and balls, paper, crayons, pencils and paints, with yarn, sewing, and dolls, and most importantly, with their own family, and neighbor kids.

When my kids (even my youngest) go to church and hear about this or that family who went here or there, and ate at this or that restaurant, or who played this or that electronic game, they feel left out and weird. So they mention it to me and I empathize with them, telling them it is hard to be different.

But then we discuss what they heard and compare it to the life God calls us to in the Bible. He calls us to lead an other-focused life, not a me-focused life. All the things they heard are usually me-focused activities, rather than other-focused activities, and so our little talk helps them see that they're really not worse off, even if they appear weird.

I also remind them that people in wealthy countries often spend the first half of their lives indulging themselves. Then, when they're older and learn that a me-focused life is not what God wants for them, they have a hard time finding a balance. They feel deprived if they start to spend less on themselves. It's a difficult transition.

It's good, I remind my kids, to know what to do with yourself without money to help you. It's a great skill and one that will help them all their lives. They have to use their imaginations, and they have to learn to work cooperatively with others to make the most of the resources available. And they have to invent new things to do, rather than rely on something already invented.

They're learning that God gave us much to entertain and soothe ourselves in the natural world, which He created for our good pleasure. The natural world is a gift. It's like God's love letter to us.

Lastly, my kids, as less distracted young people, are learning that entertainment isn't supposed to be our only concern. People all over the world have needs, and we're supposed to be thinking about that, more than about our next entertainment fix. I share with them this verse:

1 Corinthians 10:23 "I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.

The more choices we have available to us outside of our working/school hours, the more we have to discern what is good and pleasing to the Lord. We already know that work is good and pleasing to the Lord, and that idleness (not having an occupation of some sort) is sin. We already know that God calls us also to rest.

If during our discretionary time we have more permissible things on our list than constructive things, we're imbalanced.

Don't feel sorry for your kids if you can't give them what most kids have or experience. Rarely are the things that come from money the best things (unless you're talking clean water, sanitation, and a non-leaking roof).

Actually, if your Christian kids fit it with typical kids, you might be missing something about not being in the world. Christian kids should be different. Rough around the edges because they're still kids, after all, but different, nonetheless. (My kids have huge flaws, believe me.)

Another difference my kids feel keenly is their perception of family. They're often dismayed at what kids say about their siblings, or even about their parents.

Case in point: Last Friday some new neighbors came over and when Peter told the sister of the pair (she was about 9 years old) that he had three siblings, she responded sarcastically, "Oh, I feel sorry for you."

When your best earthly asset is your family, you can't relate to these sentiments. Peter told her--as he often does to other kids who express similar sentiments--that he is grateful for his siblings. As my oldest, Peter is learning to stand up for his values without care for the backlash.

Family has gone out of style, sadly. Families may sleep under the same roof, but because they disperse here and there during the day and evenings, that's about all they have in common--their roof for sleeping under. They don't even necessarily eat there, or at least not often together.

If I ever wanted to write a book, it would be about bringing back the family. If you have a close-knit nuclear family, you're rich. And if you have the Lord in conjunction with family, you have all the best this universe has to offer--a foundation that will never fail you...sources of joy that will never go out of style.

Thank the Lord we always have these two things to give to our children, no matter our circumstances.

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Preparing Our Daughters For Lifelong Marriage Part 1

No doubt you're sick of hearing about the Duggars by now, but I really want to encourage mothers and wives by giving a Christian perspective on Anna Duggar's situation, and speak on how we can prepare our daughters for marriage and for a life of faith. Should we really "teach them to breathe fire" and would that prevent heartbreak in their lives?

In this first piece, I will deal with just the beginning portion of the worldly sentiments presented in the letter featured below. In another piece, I'll write on the breathe-fire portion.

Kirkland, a mother of two girls, recently wrote a Facebook post that went viral, detailed here and excerpted below:

Anna Duggar is in the worst position she could possibly be in right now. Anna Duggar was crippled by her parents by receiving no education, having no work experience (or life experience, for that matter) and then was shackled to this loser because his family was famous in their religious circle. Anna Duggar was taught that her sole purpose in life, the most meaningful thing she could do, was to be chaste and proper, a devout wife, and a mother. Anna Duggar did that! Anna Duggar followed the rules that were imposed on her from the get-go and this is what she got in reward.
As a mother of daughters, this makes me ill. Parents, WE MUST DO BETTER BY OUR DAUGHTERS. Boys, men, are born with power. Girls have to command it for themselves. They aren't given it. They assume it and take it. But you have to teach them to do it, that they can do it. We HAVE to teach our daughters that they are not beholden to men like this. That they don't have to marry a man their father deems "acceptable" and then stay married to that man long, long after he proved himself UNACCEPTABLE. Educate them. Empower them. Give them the tools they need to survive, on their own if they must. Josh Duggar should be cowering in fear of Anna Duggar right now. Cowering. He isn't, but he should be. He should be quaking in fear that the house might fall down around them if he's in the same room as she. Please, instill your daughters with the resolve to make a man cower if he must. To say "I don't deserve this, and my children don't deserve this." I wish someone had ever, just once, told Anna she was capable of this. That she knew she is. As for my girls, I'll raise them to think they breathe fire.

It's tempting to champion this woman's cause given the completely humiliating manner in which Josh treated Anna. As much as I've cringed at Josh Duggar's heartbreaking sins and how unfavorably they reflect on Christianity, I'm mindful that we know very little information. Isn't that usually true, when we're tempted to judge others?

We have no idea what went on in their marriage or in their daily family life, but I know from experience that when you're caring for a newborn and other little ones, you have little interest in marital relations. (Don't roll your eyes yet...I am not going to excuse Josh or any other unfaithful spouse.) Weeks or sometimes months can go by without any attention to our husbands, easily, during this first year (or during times of intense stress), and our husbands are put in a difficult place, because to keep reminding us about their needs appears insensitive to our exhaustion or our feelings. I think many men remain silent so as not to provoke us or feel like schmucks.

Most women are aroused by feeling close to and in love with their husbands, and by being rested and relaxed enough to feel light and playful. Men are aroused far more easily (given their visual bent) and can even be aroused during times of exhaustion and intense stress.

Communication is very, very important here.

Our husbands are responsible before God for their decisions and actions, no matter whether we remember their needs or not. It isn't fair to blame an overwhelmed and physically exhausted mother for her husband's pornography habit or an affair, but it is wise for mothers to prepare their daughters to keep lines of communication open with their husbands in the year after childbirth, and during times of intense family stress. It's an unwise woman who assumes her husband is doing fine, as long as he isn't nagging for attention. Grace must abound on both sides.

God always provides a way out of temptation and open communication is one of those means in a marriage.

I am not indicating by these statements that I think Josh is a real Christian gone wrong, or that by more marital relations their issues could have been prevented. I don't know his spiritual state, but total deception such as his can start with small spiritual compromises, accompanied by a sense of entitlement. Satan is sure to spur us on in our compromises, by increasing our sense of entitlement.

We need to resist the temptation to make villains of one spouse or the other when we hear bits and pieces of marital stories, since no one knows the inner workings of a marriage, as I said. We do best to pray for our own marriage and the marriages within our churches. Because marriage. is. hard.

I resolve to prepare my daughters for the complexities of married life...for how many of us went into marriage wholly unprepared for the complexity, and had to make mistakes to learn how to dance well together? A lifelong marriage will have very low points, and only the strongest finish the race.

The world will scream for us to cut our losses, get out and start over, but the spiritually steadfast and long-suffering stay the course (though if you are being abused, put physical and emotional distance between you and the abuser, by all means).

And incidentally, when an adulterer remains unrepentant, he is abusing his wife emotionally and she is justified in leaving, with the Lord's blessing. Before it becomes clear that an adulterer is unrepentant, I believe the Lord would rather we keep our eyes on Him and proceed cautiously, though we can leave for adultery right away, if desired.

The world would have us believe that a women who stays is weak and stupid, but God's glory shines through us best when we focus on His character, rather than on what we deserve.

Kristen Welsh from We Are That Family successfully dealt with her husband's addiction to pornography (he's an ex youth pastor) and they have a strong marriage now. With our eyes on God instead of on our immediate heartache, marriage can persevere.

Anna Duggar is in the worst position she could possibly be in right now. This is a worldly perspective only. Anna Duggar is (let's assume), a born-again Christian and as such, she's got eternal life to look forward to, rather than eternal suffering. Contrary to Ms. Kirkland's sentiment, Anna is blessed beyond measure.

The 20-year-old woman who gets in a car accident a month before her wedding and becomes a paraplegic for life, is in a pretty awful situation, too, but like Anna's situation, it's part of the sin curse. We all suffer and everyone has devastating periods in their lives, whether they come early or later in our middle years. We all need divine strength to get through the day. We all need to be thankful for every day, and reminded that godliness with contentment is great gain.

Anna Duggar was crippled by her parents by receiving no education, having no work experience (or life experience, for that matter) and then was shackled to this loser because his family was famous in their religious circle. 

Anna was crippled by her parents? While at least a two-year degree or a vocational skill is desirable before marriage, the Bible does not ask us to put our hope in education. Psalm 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

The Bible does mandate one type of education--spiritual education, as outlined here:

Deuteromony 11:19 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. "You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates,…

The Bible also teaches that if we put the Kingdom of God first, then God will provide for all of our daily needs, education or not--and I say this as someone who, as a former public educator, has been guilty in the past of worshiping education.

Matthew 6:32-34 "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

It's so easy for all of us to disregard this verse when our daily bread appears insecure, as it may for Anna right now, but God's Word stands firm, no matter our circumstances. When we make a commitment to live each day for his glory and give tomorrow to Him, our joy abounds.