A Housewife Gone Astray

It's Saturday morning. A few hours of heaven on earth in my life. Yes, I still have chores, shopping, and cooking weighing on me (ain't that the truth even on our birthdays and on Mother's Day?), but there is no exact deadline, other than hungry stomachs.

As a homeschooling mom, Saturday did have perks for me, but it's different now. Now it's a huge relief, like the last contraction of an unmedicated childbirth, or like the last hundred yards of a marathon.

Yippee!

And Sunday afternoon and evening? They've changed too. The stress starts to build as I run around, getting the house ready for the next day, knowing that if I don't use my time wisely, I could be up until 2 AM cleaning and planning lessons or crafts. I used to get the Sunday blues as a public school teacher, too, toward the end when I had a lot of behavior problems and dreaded the weeks.

Because non-paycheck moms don't live under intense time pressure (excepting those with kids in a lot of programs) it's easy to get too relaxed and waste time. Poor time management makes it difficult to be a blessing to our families. If we fail to listen to the Holy Spirit's prodding on this, God will correct us in uncomfortable ways.

He promises to make us a spiritual success so we can finish the race. He promises. We need only respond.

I'm about to reveal a sin in my life and encourage you to avoid the same path and stay on higher ground.

Are you ready?

I would recommend every stay-at-home mom make a list of her typical daily pursuits--not how the days would ideally go, but how they actually go. Then, analyze the list to check on your time management. Did you spend two hours on Facebook or surf the Internet too long each day? Did some other guilty escape occupy too much of your time?

Don't be ashamed, but do give this to the Lord. He doesn't ask us to be perfect, but he does desire a responsive heart.

Prior to being forced into this babysitting job, I was spending too much time reading political Internet news. It became a habit that I justified in the name of being a responsible voter in an election year. But really? I was failing to put things in God's hands, and I admired one political person too much, reading everything I could find on him. Twenty to thirty minutes of news a day was probably appropriate, but I let it get out of hand and I didn't respond quickly enough to the Holy Spirit's prodding, or I responded inconsistently--doing better one day and falling "off the wagon" the next.

I'm ashamed before God. I served myself, not my family. It haunts me that my having to babysit is somewhat of a punishment or a correction. I didn't appreciate enough my status as a stay-at-home mom. And in a sense I didn't fear the Lord.

Staying at home to care for a family is a privileged position, not a right. 

To whom much is given, much is required.

I feel utterly exhausted most days and there's not much pleasure in my life right now. There's a lot of dread. I'm not bitter, but I am very, very sorry. God is using this time in my life, creating in me a purer heart, giving me a greater desire to be a godly mom and wife, instead of one who feels entitled and eats the bread of idleness.

Dealing with hard physical or emotional issues can cause us to seek guilty escapes, and those escapes, unchecked, can prove costly. Sin is always costly. It is forgiven, but still costly.

God promises to give us an escape route when we're tempted, but first, we have to recognize and acknowledge our sin. Escape routes mean nothing to a person in denial. 

Live in the light, God commands. Don't hide sin, acknowledge it and let yourself be purified.

God knows women. He knows what reminders we need. Our culture would have us believe men and women are the same, with the same capabilities and faults, but God doesn't seem to teach that.

Titus 2:3-5  Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Proverbs 31:26-31 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. ...

The Proverbs 31 woman, by the way, is not one woman. We can't all be great at everything. It's more of a list of admirable qualities we should pray into our lives. If you read it as a description of one woman, you'll surely get discouraged and give up.

A godly woman keeps a quiet time to center herself on Him. She gives the day's troubles to her Master. Like Mary, she says "Let it be to me as you say. I am the Lord's servant." She is unselfish and generous. She takes care of herself, but she doesn't indulge herself. She doesn't feel entitled, but grateful. She loves with her time, with her prayers, with her words and with her body.

When referring to God, godliness means perfection. But in humans, godliness is a submission, a humility...an acknowledgement of our complete dependence on the Savior and Master.

Our behavior is telling, though. It's an accurate picture of our spiritual state. We are told to look for fruit. When our time here is up, we won't be judged on the way we wanted to behave, but on how we actually behaved.

That's why I advise...take an inventory of how you spend your time. If you find error, there's a heart issue that needs revealing and cleansing. Every sin starts with the wrong attitude of heart.

Working moms are forced to be more time-efficient (unselfish with their time). They have a boss and multiple deadlines, at home and at work. A stay-at-home mom can potentially get more done, spiritually and relationally, but only if she lives each day as though God were watching.

1 Peter 1:14-16 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

I trust God in this, and I don't believe life will be this intensely hard forever. I thank Him for not giving up on me, and for loving me enough to die for me and remake me into His image. 

In the meantime, there are two children who come here for 45 hours a week. If my heart is right, I can introduce the Lord to them and encourage their parents, who really have their hands full with some high-needs children. 

Has the Lord ever corrected you with a major life change? Did you recognize it as such, and how did it come out?

Still Here...

I've been working full-time as an in-home preschool/daycare provider since April 11. I remember this exhaustion and hard work, having done it once before, prior to the girls' births. Using your house as a place of business is an intense practice. There's no relaxing of standards, no leaving things out, no waiting for cleaning until you feel better, or are more rested. There's no going to bed with messy floors or carpets or stray laundry.

There's no sleeping in late, or even getting adequate sleep for that matter.

I care for 3- and 5-year-old siblings who are both handfuls in their own way. I'm struggling to love the 5-year-old, who is extremely strong-willed and snippy. "Please" and "thank you" are not in her vocabulary, and she uses put-downs and sarcasm. While she could never be called sweet, she is fun-loving and sometimes my girls enjoy her company. Often they yearn for the quieter time, before daycare, but at the same time they feel less stressed because we're more likely to make our bills each month.

My kids help a lot and I've taken to giving each of them an allowance.

There are positive things inherent in our new situation. One is that I do enjoy teaching and I'm doing more of that, with two new students on board. Much of what I've done with the preschoolers in science, my own girls have participated in albeit at a higher level. We've done a weather unit, a rainforest unit, and we're now learning about plants and pollinators.

Another positive aspect is that my children are gaining more leadership experience. They're also sharing their faith, their possessions, their food and their home.

The three-year-old has a lot of speech issues, but he's learning his letter sounds, nevertheless. Puzzles are his favorite activity. You might roll your eyes at this notion, but he has what appears to be OCD. He lines up his shoes just so, can't stand any messes, and cries to have his clothes changed when they get even a drop of water on them (for example, from washing his hands). I often feel no wetness anywhere on his clothes. I try to help him realize how dry his clothes really are, but he has fits about this and demands to be changed. There could be other explanations, but even the parents suspect OCD, though for the most part they don't discuss anything about their kids, possibly so as to keep their caregivers.

I have worked hard in the past few weeks to remember boundaries, in that these are not my kids and most of my energy must go to my own children and my husband. It's not my job to transform these kids. or correct what I might perceive to be parenting errors. I'm only making $4.30 an hour, and some goes to food (2 snacks, drinks and lunch) and a bigger portion goes to craft and art supplies. I also had to purchase from thrift stores more preschool toys, since I had given my own away.

Though working on boundaries, I'm still mindful of being a good employee and a loving mentor to them. I'm hugging these kids when they need it in the absence of their own parents, I'm praying for them, nursing their cuts and bruises, filling them with good stories, and reading character-training books in the mornings (from Proverbs this month), followed by daily prayer.

They come from a Catholic family and attend Mass, but they came to us with no concept of prayer, even at meals. The first time the 5 year old heard us pray before lunch, she said:

 "Why are you thanking God, when he didn't even make the sandwiches?"

Her comment made me so grateful that I've been home all these years to disciple my own children. Here was a five year old with little to no knowledge of God. It made me devastated for her and her little brother.

During the first month, she was snippy and irritated every time we prayed. Now, all these weeks later, she often adds requests to our morning prayer time. She looks forward to devotions!

God is using their time here in ways I'm probably unaware of--both for their benefit and ours. My job is to submit and be the Lord's servant. I trust His plan, even if it's exhausting, remembering that many Christians over the centuries have experienced physical exhaustion. What I'm experiencing is nothing novel, and I daresay it's keeping my body fit, being this active.

His promises me everything I need, and I believe Him.

I still want to count my blessing on this blog on a regular basis, but I'm realizing outside of that practice, I can't keep up here anymore. I've tried several times to write in the last 7 weeks, but each time something more pressing weighed on me. I was faithful to the people counting on me here. I need to shift my blogging to shorter blurbs, or give it up. If you're still around checking this blog, I thank you and I appreciate you.

Luke 21:19 Stand firm, and you will win life.

Guess What?

Guess what I've been doing? Working my tail off! I have two sibling children "enrolled" in my in-home daycare and preschool. They're three and five years old. We will only have the sister until fall, at which time she starts kindergarten.

Here is the little guy with the stuffy he brought from home. We are all in love with him already. The sister is nice and fun, but not quite so sweet as her brother. They are both bright and teaching them is easy. Speech is a challenge for the three year old, and we are still learning what sounds he is missing and what the substitutions are. One is /k/ and I'm trying to help him, but that's not an easy one to describe or show mouth position for.

My living room has become the playroom, the family room has become my children's school room, and half the dining room is the preschool room. Fortunately, my girls now read all their own social studies, science and literature, so that makes running a daycare easier than it might be. I have the girls narrate their assignments to me after they finish, and after the daycare kids leave at 5 PM (they're here full-time), I do writing and spelling with my girls. They boys just need me to check their assignment sheets and listen to them narrate, and of course I have to go over their writing assignments via regular writing conferences.

It isn't easy, and after three days I'm still getting the hang of it, but it's a blessing to have this necessary income. All my children love kids and they've been such a big help to me. They are learning how to run a business and be professional, and what hard work feels like. It's been a positive experience thus far, though I'm so busy I can barely check email once before bed. I've worked on this post a few minutes over three days, and don't expect to get back here very often.

And how are you, my friends? Anything new in your lives?

When You Need to Wait

Waiting on the Lord

I have advertised my childcare services for a couple weeks now, and the only response has been attempts by three people to scam me (but I had been warned and was ready).

Oh, Lord Jesus, come. Evil is everywhere and that part is so discouraging.

I have done my mother and teacher and homemaker duties all these days, somewhat anxious but fighting those feelings because I know they lead only to folly.

Food prices have risen steadily and kids keep putting holes in their socks and shoes and growing like mad, and my husband hasn't had a raise in three years. Homeschooling all four children formally now, has also increased expenses, as we try to share resources and still be efficient.

Not to mention, I unnecessarily tightened things further by sponsoring a third child--which I do not regret and for which my husband doesn't begrudge me. We are encouraged in God's word to give back a portion of our incomes, and that goes for us, the low-income people as well. No matter how much we have, it comes from God and giving it back to Him is not scary.

Please don't wonder if we're eating well, because we are, definitely. We're not behind on bills so we aren't desperate, but tell that to my heart, will you?

I need a job and God knows I need a job. We've prayed for other options, but babysitting is the only option that still allows me to invest my whole heart into my children. About employment I've always felt that if one does his or her part, if laziness is not present, if consistency in looking is there, if hope doesn't die and despair doesn't cripple--making it difficult to keep on looking--then the hard work will pay off...and this even more likely for the Christian, whose hope is in God.

Oh, but the waiting. Is there anything other than pride that can cause a Christian to stumble so wretchedly? Yes, I think it's impatience.

I looked for a sermon on impatience before continuing with my Saturday chores, and I found it on a David Mathis Desiring God post. Here is an important excerpt:

Patience is the companion of humility and the enemy of pride. “The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit” (Ecclesiastes 7:8). It is the appropriate posture of the creature illumined enough to say, “God is sovereign, and I am not.” And it is not our own production, but “the fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22; 5:5).

Three pointers were given in the article to help us when we're in a period of waiting on the Lord:

1. Renew faith and hope

2. Pray and give thanks (I especially love this one. Giving thanks and praying for others takes the focus off of ourselves, and since that self-focus is part of the problem in fretting, a love-your-neighbor focus is just what we need. (And what our neighbors need!)

3. Remember the patience of God

It's an outstanding article and better than anything I can write, so please, read it if you are waiting on the Lord for anything at all. Maybe you're waiting on a job, for the healing of a relationship or illness, for a child to love, or for the salvation of a loved one or neighbor or friend. God uses our waiting to build us up in Him, for his glory.

The Holy Spirit reminds me that the reason I'm struggling is because I think I know all the answers, and I'm wondering why God isn't catching up to my thinking.

And as always, I have it backwards. God is waiting for me to catch up to his will, not the other way around.

Bless you, friend, as you wait, and here are verses to help.

Verses on waiting and steadfastness:

Psalms 27:13-14 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Psalms 37:34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way, and he will exalt you to inherit the land; you will look on when the wicked are cut off.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Lamentations 3:25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Acts 1:4 And while staying with them he ordered them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the promise of the Father

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Colossians 1:11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy,

1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

James 5:11 Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

Testing Your Bible Knowledge

Trek AWANA, my middle-school church class, is coming to a close. It has been a great experience for a number of reasons, but also a big stretch on my time because the Trek leader book did not contain any lesson plans. I had to extensively research each passage we studied until I understood it like a Bible scholar, and then I had to synthesize it all into a coherent, relevant lesson for middle schoolers. It was like writing a sermon each time and gave me new respect for what pastors go through in writing sermons once a week (I only had to teach every third week).

For this, my last lesson, I wrote a final exam of sorts that I'll use as trivia-type questions. It only includes what I taught from Luke (and other Gospels as needed to clarify events) not what my co-teachers covered. Take it for fun to test your Bible knowledge?

Some Final Exam Questions (for fun and review) - Trek Class 2016

1.  What two books of the Bible did Luke write?

2.  Which Gospel writer was like an investigative journalist?

3. Which Gospel writer was a doctor?

4. What is the path to greatness in God’s Kingdom?

5. Finish this verse: Matthew 20:28 Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his ________   ____   ____   _________  _____   __________.

6. John the Baptist told the people to repent. What does repentance look like?

7. Name two unusual things about John the Baptist. Can you think of a reason why God may have wanted John to be so unusual?

8. Who put John the Baptist in jail?

9.  Sharing in Jesus’ greatness involves sharing in his _____________.

10.  Of the biblical couples we learned about, which one had trouble conceiving a baby? What was their attitude in regard to their inability to have a baby?

11. What happened to Zechariah before his son John the Baptist was born. Why did it happen?

12. Mary’s famous lines in the Bible are:  I am the Lord’s_________________. Let it be ____   ___   ___   _____   _______.

13. Joseph belonged to the house and line of _______________________, so he had to go to _______________________ to be registered for the census. Why is it important that Joseph and Mary were from the line of David?

14. Finish this statement from John the Baptist: (Luke 3:16) I baptize you with water, but one more powerful than I will come, the straps of whose sandals I am not ___________   ___   _______.  He will baptize you with ____   ______   _______   ____   _______   ______.

15.  What is the main need of every person, and what was the main need of the paralytic man Jesus healed?

16. When Jesus healed the paralytic, who was lowered down by his four friends, the Pharisees had an attitude that prevented them from appreciating the miracle. How would you describe their attitude, and is it still here today in our churches? In what form?

17. What city was known as the headquarters of Jesus? Hint: It’s also the city in which the most miracles occurred. Jesus said of it: “And you, __________, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades.” (Luke 10:15)

18. When we die and have to give an account to God for our lives, God will specifically want to know what we did with ____________?

19. What can you tell me about the Roman Centurion who wanted Jesus to heal his servant? (We went over four details about him, but you don’t need to detail all of them.)

20. Jesus was very impressed with the Roman Centurion. Why? (Luke 7:9) When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "____  ____   ___,   ___   _____   ___   ____  _____  ____   ______   ______  _______   ____ .

21. Who was the unknown man who walked with two disciples on the road to Emmaus?

22. What did Jesus discuss with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus?

23. Finish this verse (today’s memory verse): Luke 24: 25-26 ‘How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to _____   _______  _____  ______ ______  _____  ____  ____.

24. “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked?” What lesson is this from? What makes your own heart burn within you, and why do you think this is so?

25. Statement about today’s lesson: The story of the disciples on the Emmaus Road is important for many reasons. It provides an emphasis on the Old Testament prophecies related to Jesus, evidence regarding an additional appearance of Jesus, and a connection regarding the many eyewitnesses of the resurrected Jesus. Luke 24 is often seen as a model of the journey that Jesus makes with many of us today, as He opens our eyes, points us to the Word, and reveals Himself along life’s walk as the resurrected Savior and Lord. (Got Questions.org)

Why do you think all of this is important for the faith--the emphasis on the Old Testament prophecies, the evidence regarding an additional appearance of Jesus, and a connection regarding the many eyewitnesses of the resurrected Jesus?

26. During the triumphal entry of Jesus seated on a donkey, the people were very excited and the crowds were large. They worshiped Jesus as a king. What kind of a king did they want, and how did Jesus disappoint them?

27. How was Jesus’ triumphal entry different than what you would expect for a King?

28. Why did Jesus weep during the triumphal entry, as he looked out over the city? What was coming that caused the compassionate tears?

29. What was God’s 70 A.D. judgement on the people who crucified him? Can you name a figure from history who was important in the judgement (starts with a T)?

30. What 18-hour and overnight event starkly contrasted the tremendous majesty of God with the depth of man’s sin? What is the purpose of this contrast?

31. Who were Annas and Caiaphas? What do you remember about either of them?

32. What was the name of the body of people which had 71 members, with a high priest serving as leaders, and including the Sadducees, Pharisees, priests and scribes? What part did this body take in Jesus’ trial?

33. The scripture mentions that prior to Jesus’ trial, Pilate and Herod were distrustful of one another. After the trial they became friends. Can you think of a reason why scripture includes such historical details like this, that at first seem irrelevant?

34. Annas was guilty of a certain practice in the temple courts, which made him rich. What was it?

35. Can you think of any reasons Annas and Caiaphas would want Jesus dead? What did they stand to lose in regards to Rome, or way of life as they knew it?

36. Jesus was given an illegal trial. Can you remember anything about it that was illegal? (He was asked to testify against himself, death wasn’t supposed to be ordered until 2 days after conviction, and there were to be no night-time trials).

37. We went over three Herods:  Herod the Great, Herod Antipas, and lastly, Herod Agrippa I--who was the grandson of Herod the Great (Acts 12). It was Herod Agrippa I who persecuted the church in Jerusalem and had the apostle James, the brother of John and son of Zebedee, put to death by the sword. By the hand of Herod Agrippa I, James became the first apostle to be martyred. What are Herod the Great and Herod Antipas known for?

38. Jesus actually had more than one trial. He had two trials with 3 phases each--the whole ordeal lasting eighteen hours, overnight, and including many beatings. Why did it have to be so?

To ask everyone: How did going through the gospel of Luke--from learning that Mary was pregnant through the Holy Spirit, to reading about the resurrected Jesus appearing to two disciples on the Road to Emmaus--change your life? How do you think that reading the Bible systematically, versus just opening it anywhere and reading, can change someone’s life, and why?