Monday, November 28, 2011

Counting Blessings Today

- Miss Beth loves her dollies. She had me swaddle them and take them outside for her, where she "read" them a couple stories.

- Baking with my girls. Last week Miss Mary told me, "Making cookies is my favorite thing to do with you, Mommy." It's been a stressful couple of days with arthritis and ADHD. Right about now, I can think of nothing better than baking and cuddling all day, taking in plenty of the Christmas books we checked out at the library.

- Paul's deliciously insane ability to cuddle close, leaving no space. He blesses!

- No one wet the bed last night. Maybe I can catch up on the other laundry?

- As hard as many things feel to me right now, I know any affliction we have pales in comparison to the daily realities our Compassion sweeties and their parents live. Perspective is one of God's tools--compelling us to give thanks and act on our faith.

- My husband and I, very compatible, rarely find anything to fight about. Sometimes I forget what a blessing this is. The past found me disappointed in him at times, but I understand better now how ADHD affects the brain. It's one thing to read about it, and another to see it manifested in a son and a husband. Now instead of being disappointed in them, I'm grateful to be part of God's grace for them. For more than anything, people with brain irregularities need acceptance and unconditional love, not pressure to conform to standards never designed for them.

My challenge at this juncture is to keep the weight on God to help Peter find work he can support his family with--work that capitalizes on his strengths and minimizes his brain weaknesses. How will he support more than himself, and will he marry someone rich in grace? My own husband never found a decent-paying job compatible with his ADHD, partially because the condition went undiagnosed. He also has long-standing double vision, which ruled out the military, the post office, and anything involving driving or navigating. Throughout his life he experienced failure, constant ridicule, and incredible frustration, by not understanding why and how he was different. I beg God for a different outcome for my son!

ADHD people have some unique abilities, but put them in a job with many details, high stress, and constant change, and they flounder--unless it's one of their hyperfocus areas. Since Peter hyperfocuses on nature and homesteading and gardening, I suspect he'll find success in a field that involves those things. The hyperfocusing makes it difficult for them to eat well, sleep enough, and invest in relationships, but it's often the only vehicle for sufficient financial support (if the right field is found early enough).

- A family member responded negatively to my sons' holiday song writing, finding their efforts too "religious" ("all about heaven and angels" were the exact words). Huh? Heaven and angels were never mentioned in the songs, nor implied.  "Now maybe you can write songs about Christmas" was the second comment. (Of course I didn't let my sons read the note, though it was intended for them.) A few positive comments were included, but the sarcasm and anti-religious nature were palpable. If a Son being born isn't about Christmas, what is?

For two days the comments have stolen my peace. I see someone I've prayed for become increasingly hardhearted toward God. I'm looking for a blessing in this folks...I really am. I can come up with only this: my children are being raised as Christians, breaking the cycle of unbelief. Praise God for that! I have to let the rest go, or it will destroy me.

- I know Grace is going to fall like rain today, because God knows I need it. I don't just hope it will happen. I know it will.  That in itself is a huge blessing.

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