My dining room, currently an eyesore, needs some attention. Badly. It contains a hutch, a school desk, a high chair, a six-chair table, and a chart stand for teaching. For three days my efforts to tidy that room failed--a cluttered mess remains.
Not a huge deal, this. I know that. However, looking at the mess for three days while not being able to clean it, apparently eroded my sanity. For tonight, arriving home after AWANA (we both helped there), one of my childish meltdowns occurred.
My husband left for work, and my children enjoy slumber. Sitting here alone, embarrassed and ashamed about my fit, I feel much sorrow.
I shouted at them--lecturing about listening better, and about attending to bedtime prep immediately after AWANA. I even shouted at three-year-old Mary, for losing her security blanket; it took thirty minutes to find it, delaying sleep even more. Probably, the words rant and rave convey just how ridiculous I sounded.
I share this not to elicit sympathy, but to remind myself to refrain.
I want to awaken them, hug them, and tell them how sorry I feel.
Would you like to know the worse thing about parental fits? We rarely remember them the next time one of our children falls into one. We act as though they should be ashamed of themselves. But everybody melts down occasionally--especially following too much work and not enough recharging.
My children never berate me for my fits, and they accept my apologies with grace. I need to learn from them, and try harder to ignore their fits--or hold them through them--rather than react. Because, really, it feels lousy to be in the middle of a meltdown. How many of us like having them? They usually leave us feeling ashamed, or like we need a good cry.
Regarding the cause (pervasive messiness): I keep meaning to set a timer and have everybody drop what they're doing, and pick up ten things, several times a day. A simple idea, and yet it would yield much sanity around here.
I simply must try that tomorrow. In the meantime, a mess calls.
Blessed night to you, Friends.
Post Script--I read a Bonnie Trenga article today about eliminating weak, boring be verbs from my writing. I found this a fun exercise, but harder than I thought! My passive sentence habit must go!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
that steel ball
Remember that marble-sized steel ball that was missing from the Mouse Trap game? Guess who found it, finally? Yeah, the baby--just the person I was hoping would never end up with it. In another act of grace, I believe the Lord intervened. I don't know what we would do without his grace--or his angels.
Peter saw the baby with the ball, and immediately took it from her.
Phew!
Peter saw the baby with the ball, and immediately took it from her.
Phew!
Counting my blessings - Tuesday
- The Christmas play at church was awesome! The boys loved it so much, including all the rehearsals, that they're sad it has come to an end.
- Praying for blogging buddies- what a privilege.
- My friend Caroline and her husband, for their desire to work with the poor--even though it means no income for a while. That's obedience and faith.
- My Mary, celebrating her third birthday last night with just our little family. She sang the Happy Birthday song with us. So cute!
- The excitement my four children displayed at the bath toy I gave Mary for her birthday. Bath toys are THE thing around here. It's a tiny basketball hoop with suction cups, accompanied by three puffer fish shaped liked balls (water-squirting balls).
- Praying for blogging buddies- what a privilege.
- My friend Caroline and her husband, for their desire to work with the poor--even though it means no income for a while. That's obedience and faith.
- My Mary, celebrating her third birthday last night with just our little family. She sang the Happy Birthday song with us. So cute!
- The excitement my four children displayed at the bath toy I gave Mary for her birthday. Bath toys are THE thing around here. It's a tiny basketball hoop with suction cups, accompanied by three puffer fish shaped liked balls (water-squirting balls).
- I also got her three preschool activity books, a pink pencil box containing glue, triangular crayons, and safety scissors. Preschool will be a regular thing for her now, and my Peter has decided to be Mary's teacher. He studied the activity books and came up with a lesson plan for today, including having her recite "Little Miss Muffet". That boy was in full blown teacher mode! At the dollar store earlier today, he begged me for a small note pad so he could "record Mary's skills". I told him how proud I was of his teaching skills!
Mary wasn't always cooperative, and he came to us complaining at one point. My husband and I locked eyes and had to smile at this. At the same time, we both told him, "Now you know how we feel when you don't cooperate." Dumbfounded at this revelation, he turned on his heels and went back to his teaching. Talk about teachable moments! Phew!
- Acidophilus tablets--Last December I had my first C section birth, after which I had a chronically bloated stomach. Five months later, I decided to try a daily acidophilus tablet. They turned out to be the cure! No more bloating!
- My father sent Christmas money. It will all be needed for an expensive ball baring repair on the van, but what a blessing to have funds for that! The van had started vibrating on the freeway, on the very day we received Dad's Christmas gift. We had known about the needed repair for a few months, but the vibrating hadn't started until yesterday.
Additionally, the money from Dad saved Mary's birthday. We hadn't gotten Beth anything for her birthday, and we were hoping to get a least one little thing for Mary's, since at age 3, she would definitely notice the absence of a present.
- I went to my heating help appointment. I knew nothing about the program beforehand, except that it might provide $175 once a heating season to resolve shut-off notice emergencies. We qualified for a percentage of income payment plan for gas and electric. It will avoid shut off this winter, but when we no longer qualify, both companies can take us to collection on the back payments owed (including garnishing wages and putting a lien on our property). I'm hoping they will accept additional, reasonable payments, when the time comes. I'll put a call in to both companies to make sure. If you know of someone in a wintry state who recently became unemployed, they might need to know about this HEAP program.
There is more, but Beth has awoken twice during this writing, and I also had a batch of cookies to make this evening, for a homeschooling Christmas event. That sweet baby has this annoying habit of waking frequently between her bedtime and 2 a.m, which means 2 to 4 interruptions in whatever tasks I have in the evenings. I often fall asleep while nursing her back to sleep--resulting in me often doing dishes at 2:00 or 3:00 o'clock in the morning.
Good night, friends! I guess at this point, I should say "Good Morning".
Mary wasn't always cooperative, and he came to us complaining at one point. My husband and I locked eyes and had to smile at this. At the same time, we both told him, "Now you know how we feel when you don't cooperate." Dumbfounded at this revelation, he turned on his heels and went back to his teaching. Talk about teachable moments! Phew!
- Acidophilus tablets--Last December I had my first C section birth, after which I had a chronically bloated stomach. Five months later, I decided to try a daily acidophilus tablet. They turned out to be the cure! No more bloating!
- My father sent Christmas money. It will all be needed for an expensive ball baring repair on the van, but what a blessing to have funds for that! The van had started vibrating on the freeway, on the very day we received Dad's Christmas gift. We had known about the needed repair for a few months, but the vibrating hadn't started until yesterday.
Additionally, the money from Dad saved Mary's birthday. We hadn't gotten Beth anything for her birthday, and we were hoping to get a least one little thing for Mary's, since at age 3, she would definitely notice the absence of a present.
- I went to my heating help appointment. I knew nothing about the program beforehand, except that it might provide $175 once a heating season to resolve shut-off notice emergencies. We qualified for a percentage of income payment plan for gas and electric. It will avoid shut off this winter, but when we no longer qualify, both companies can take us to collection on the back payments owed (including garnishing wages and putting a lien on our property). I'm hoping they will accept additional, reasonable payments, when the time comes. I'll put a call in to both companies to make sure. If you know of someone in a wintry state who recently became unemployed, they might need to know about this HEAP program.
There is more, but Beth has awoken twice during this writing, and I also had a batch of cookies to make this evening, for a homeschooling Christmas event. That sweet baby has this annoying habit of waking frequently between her bedtime and 2 a.m, which means 2 to 4 interruptions in whatever tasks I have in the evenings. I often fall asleep while nursing her back to sleep--resulting in me often doing dishes at 2:00 or 3:00 o'clock in the morning.
Good night, friends! I guess at this point, I should say "Good Morning".
Sunday, December 13, 2009
She's One!
So. My last baby turned one last week. Bittersweet it is, like my favorite cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving day. Since my sweet Beth's birthday, I've felt like punching my husband, multiple times, for having that vasectomy (private feelings--I never bring it up around here). He's as eager to say goodbye to these baby years, as I am to prolong them.
Oh, I know what you're saying--"Get over it already. You two are ancient, for heaven's sake! And poor! And besides, remember those medical stockings you complained about constantly during your pregnancy?"
I know. You're right. I know you are. But still....there's this ache...this desire, this yearning, for babies. It's beyond my comprehension.
It has taken me a week to sit down here and write this post. In finally writing it, I'm trying to come to terms with what her birthday means.
Based on The Important Book, by Margaret Wise Brown
The important thing about Beth is that she's usually smiling.
It's true that she's petite,
And that she has three rambunctious siblings,
And that she loves to stand up in her highchair.
But the important thing about Beth, is that she's usually smiling.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves to night nurse.
It's true that she loves to explore,
And that she still loves Cheerios,
And that she loves to study Momma's teeth.
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves to night nurse.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves her sister Mary.
It's true that she sneaks into the can cupboard,
And that she loves it when we forget the safety gate,
And that she took steps at 8.5 months.
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves her sister Mary.
The important thing about Beth is that she reaches for Momma in the night.
It's true that she wakes Momma up with a grin,
And that she wriggles terribly during changes,
And that she has four teeth.
But the important thing about Beth is that she reaches for Momma in the night.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves spontaneous hugs.
It's true that she has natural curls,
And that she thinks life with siblings is a party,
And that she loves Momma's baked ziti.
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves spontaneous hugs.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves to carry around books.
It's true that she loves her mac n' cheese,
And that she sucks on Clementine oranges,
And that she's getting her share of forehead bumps,
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves to carry around books.
The important thing about Beth is that she's the essence of sweetness.
It's true that she's always on the move,
And that she likes to take car rides,
And that she loves to carry around empty milk jugs.
But the important thing about Beth is that she's the essence of sweetness.
The important thing about Beth is that her Momma loves her so!
It's true that she loves the "Fish Alive" song,
And that she stops crying for Jesus songs,
And that she sleeps in a queen bed.
But the important thing about Beth is that her Momma loves her so!
Happy First Birthday, My Love! You bring joy, joy, joy to my soul!
Oh, I know what you're saying--"Get over it already. You two are ancient, for heaven's sake! And poor! And besides, remember those medical stockings you complained about constantly during your pregnancy?"
I know. You're right. I know you are. But still....there's this ache...this desire, this yearning, for babies. It's beyond my comprehension.
It has taken me a week to sit down here and write this post. In finally writing it, I'm trying to come to terms with what her birthday means.
Based on The Important Book, by Margaret Wise Brown
The important thing about Beth is that she's usually smiling.
It's true that she's petite,
And that she has three rambunctious siblings,
And that she loves to stand up in her highchair.
But the important thing about Beth, is that she's usually smiling.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves to night nurse.
It's true that she loves to explore,
And that she still loves Cheerios,
And that she loves to study Momma's teeth.
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves to night nurse.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves her sister Mary.
It's true that she sneaks into the can cupboard,
And that she loves it when we forget the safety gate,
And that she took steps at 8.5 months.
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves her sister Mary.
The important thing about Beth is that she reaches for Momma in the night.
It's true that she wakes Momma up with a grin,
And that she wriggles terribly during changes,
And that she has four teeth.
But the important thing about Beth is that she reaches for Momma in the night.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves spontaneous hugs.
It's true that she has natural curls,
And that she thinks life with siblings is a party,
And that she loves Momma's baked ziti.
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves spontaneous hugs.
The important thing about Beth is that she loves to carry around books.
It's true that she loves her mac n' cheese,
And that she sucks on Clementine oranges,
And that she's getting her share of forehead bumps,
But the important thing about Beth is that she loves to carry around books.
The important thing about Beth is that she's the essence of sweetness.
It's true that she's always on the move,
And that she likes to take car rides,
And that she loves to carry around empty milk jugs.
But the important thing about Beth is that she's the essence of sweetness.
The important thing about Beth is that her Momma loves her so!
It's true that she loves the "Fish Alive" song,
And that she stops crying for Jesus songs,
And that she sleeps in a queen bed.
But the important thing about Beth is that her Momma loves her so!
Happy First Birthday, My Love! You bring joy, joy, joy to my soul!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
God's Timing
Two neat blessings to share today!
The fellowship available through blogging helps me tremendously! Thank you, dear Readers. There has been powerful evidence recently that God sanctions my finding fellowship here. See, a few weeks ago I posted a comment on the Amy's Humble Musings blog. I rarely comment there, but for whatever reason, I did this particular time. Her blog has had technical problems of late, and the commenting didn't go smoothly. My comment didn't post, and when I tried it again, it said I was trying to do a duplicate comment--it wouldn't let me proceed.
Later that day, I checked back to see if my comment had ever shown up. I started reading the other comments, and happened to click on Paula's name. She wrote briefly about her teenagers and I wanted to take a look at how my life was going to change as my babies grew into teens.
I found a post about her family having gone through unemployment, and if you recall, I reposted it on my other blog. Dumbfounded I was, at the randomness of the whole thing! But really, it wasn't random. God orchestrated it--I'm sure of it, because yesterday I also found out that her husband took a degree in Theology as well, and never used it professionally. And, her husband is relaxed and laid back, as mine is (except when he is caring for babies lol.) Both men are also starting new careers at age 50.
To click on her name like that, among all those others! It was amazing. She has been such an encouragement, and it feels so good to know that someone understands the details of my life. Thank you, Lord! And Paula!
I love my husband very, very much. My life with him is a blessing, much more than it is difficult. And he is doing well in his computer classes--just wanted to make sure I posted that, as it probably didn't sound like it from an earlier post.
I wanted to share also about God's amazing timing in providing for our needs. We haven't had any snow really stick here yet, which is very unusual. The boys went out yesterday, wanting to play in the snow, even though there was just a smidgen on the ground. It was the first time they had gotten into full snow gear, and we quickly realized that Paul didn't have proper fitting snow boots. Usually, I buy them at thrift stores as I see them; there just haven't been many around lately.
I did go looking for them immediately at a nearby thrift store, to no avail. Often, when you really need something STAT, you can be disappointed in thrift store shopping. The blessing often comes in finding good buys for the future, rather than for immediate use.
Anyhow, we knew we were likely to get good play snow soon, and that poor Paul was likely to be disappointed. Wouldn't you know, later that day we received a $70.00 gift card in the mail, as a result of a rebate on the fridge my father had purchased for us. Who is responsible for that timing, do you suppose?
It never fails that when we really need something material ( a need verses want), not more than a few days goes by before it is somehow provided. It is as though God wants us to learn something through this experience, but he doesn't want the children to suffer too much as a result.
Our church called to offer sponsorship for them for Christmas again. I was hesitant, as I didn't want them developing a sense of entitlement about gifts and such. If someone else always provides everything, would they learn anything about working hard, and about the payoff from labor? I wondered. However, I knew we wouldn't be able to get them anything, so I said the help would be a blessing, but could we limit it to two presents each? The church agreed.
Another example of God's timing comes from the story of a good friend, who recently needed a stove insert to help heat her large house. They are about to embark on a ministry for the poor and live on just their savings until the ministry grows enough to provide them with income.
Her husband prayed one day about the need for the insert, and that evening at church he happened to mention it to someone who had a spare insert in his garage--available for the taking. Isn't God awesome? Her husband just happened to be speaking to the very person who could help him, although he didn't realize it when he struck up the conversation. Amazing! Please pray for their ministry needs, and for continued provision.
Blessed weekend to you, Friends!
The fellowship available through blogging helps me tremendously! Thank you, dear Readers. There has been powerful evidence recently that God sanctions my finding fellowship here. See, a few weeks ago I posted a comment on the Amy's Humble Musings blog. I rarely comment there, but for whatever reason, I did this particular time. Her blog has had technical problems of late, and the commenting didn't go smoothly. My comment didn't post, and when I tried it again, it said I was trying to do a duplicate comment--it wouldn't let me proceed.
Later that day, I checked back to see if my comment had ever shown up. I started reading the other comments, and happened to click on Paula's name. She wrote briefly about her teenagers and I wanted to take a look at how my life was going to change as my babies grew into teens.
I found a post about her family having gone through unemployment, and if you recall, I reposted it on my other blog. Dumbfounded I was, at the randomness of the whole thing! But really, it wasn't random. God orchestrated it--I'm sure of it, because yesterday I also found out that her husband took a degree in Theology as well, and never used it professionally. And, her husband is relaxed and laid back, as mine is (except when he is caring for babies lol.) Both men are also starting new careers at age 50.
To click on her name like that, among all those others! It was amazing. She has been such an encouragement, and it feels so good to know that someone understands the details of my life. Thank you, Lord! And Paula!
I love my husband very, very much. My life with him is a blessing, much more than it is difficult. And he is doing well in his computer classes--just wanted to make sure I posted that, as it probably didn't sound like it from an earlier post.
I wanted to share also about God's amazing timing in providing for our needs. We haven't had any snow really stick here yet, which is very unusual. The boys went out yesterday, wanting to play in the snow, even though there was just a smidgen on the ground. It was the first time they had gotten into full snow gear, and we quickly realized that Paul didn't have proper fitting snow boots. Usually, I buy them at thrift stores as I see them; there just haven't been many around lately.
I did go looking for them immediately at a nearby thrift store, to no avail. Often, when you really need something STAT, you can be disappointed in thrift store shopping. The blessing often comes in finding good buys for the future, rather than for immediate use.
Anyhow, we knew we were likely to get good play snow soon, and that poor Paul was likely to be disappointed. Wouldn't you know, later that day we received a $70.00 gift card in the mail, as a result of a rebate on the fridge my father had purchased for us. Who is responsible for that timing, do you suppose?
It never fails that when we really need something material ( a need verses want), not more than a few days goes by before it is somehow provided. It is as though God wants us to learn something through this experience, but he doesn't want the children to suffer too much as a result.
Our church called to offer sponsorship for them for Christmas again. I was hesitant, as I didn't want them developing a sense of entitlement about gifts and such. If someone else always provides everything, would they learn anything about working hard, and about the payoff from labor? I wondered. However, I knew we wouldn't be able to get them anything, so I said the help would be a blessing, but could we limit it to two presents each? The church agreed.
Another example of God's timing comes from the story of a good friend, who recently needed a stove insert to help heat her large house. They are about to embark on a ministry for the poor and live on just their savings until the ministry grows enough to provide them with income.
Her husband prayed one day about the need for the insert, and that evening at church he happened to mention it to someone who had a spare insert in his garage--available for the taking. Isn't God awesome? Her husband just happened to be speaking to the very person who could help him, although he didn't realize it when he struck up the conversation. Amazing! Please pray for their ministry needs, and for continued provision.
Blessed weekend to you, Friends!
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