snow and soup

Just when you thought you'd stepped on the last Lego--for a while anyway--the company comes up with minute pieces that fit together painstakingly, like model airplane building, but without the glue.  Peter woke up and went right to work this morning, building this little car, and some misc. things to go with it.  Don't you love it when they can follow directions all by themselves, and be entertained for an hour or more?

Here he is, still in jammies, and getting right to it.

Taking photos of this sweetie is hard work!  She never stays still for long.

Northeast Ohio finally got some snow!

You want to do some shoveling, you say?  Wonderful idea!

Hot turkey soup to warm up the snow bunnies, and cap off a busy day.

Momma has been a busy bee, setting the house right after the holidays.  Talk to you later!

family pics and crafts

I added pictures to Mary's B-day post--published last night.  Here are more pics of the family.  Baby was napping for most of this photo shoot.  We'll have to post more of her later.  She has unusual coloring.  I have only a few outfits that seem to flatter her (reds, hot pinks, black--she has brown eyes, light brown hair, and a pale face.  Her hand-me-downs from Mary don't work too well (too many lavenders and pale pinks).  Mary has medium-blue eyes that have a yellowish ring in the center, blond hair, and less pale skin.

I find it very hard to look at pictures of me with my kids.  At 43, I could easily be mistaken for their grandma. How I wish I had been a Christian in my twenties, so that God could have blessed me with a husband then!  Twice I was engaged in my twenties, and got cold feet before the planning commenced.  I have spiritual tools now to make a marriage last--definitely didn't then.  In this, as in all things, we have to accept God's will.  Hard to swallow sometimes.

My husband is 8 years older than me.  You can see that the Pennsylvania and Delaware weather, and his genetics, were kinder.  He looks about my age here.  I lived in San Diego, Central CA, Guam, Sicily, England, and was born in Germany.  Both my dad and step-dad were in the military.  We stayed put in San Diego during my 8th grade through high school years.  Then I went to college at UCSD, in La Jolla, Ca, which is in San Diego County.

A few weeks before Christmas Paul said to me, "Mommy, all I want for Christmas is that gingerbread house from Walmart.  The one for ten dollars.  That's all I want."

A week later, when I had ten dollars, I went to Walmart looking for the gingerbread house.  After searching for thirty minutes in all the places we'd seen it over the last month, I started to panic--they were obviously sold out.  Just as I decided on a homemade, graham-cracker gingerbread house, I spotted the coveted house at the check-out stand, on sale for $7.

Now the boys were so excited, that they couldn't wait until we were available to help.  I am not one to insist that every craft project be teacher led.  I rarely lead projects, as a matter of fact.

This is what they were able to do without help.  Possibly, they didn't knead the frosting for a whole minute, as the directions indicated.  Hard to say, but the sides wouldn't stay up, and without a frosting tip set (I have to get one of those!) the frosting was out of control.

Paul was in tears over this fiasco.  I felt terrible for him, but it was a lesson for both of them--patience pays off.  My heart isn't so hard that I didn't buy and wrap up for Christmas, some graham crackers and some candies. In a few days, after I recover from our other projects, we'll try again.

My boys and I love snowman crafts!  We do a lot of them--sometimes even the same ones every year.  They used felt for scarves, black construction paper for hats, and more paint for snow drops falling down, and for some snow around the bottom.  Finished ones are hanging in the playroom.  I'm a hurried, lazy blogger.  I'll take them down and get photos later.

This wasn't glued down yet (use tacky glue).  Use a jumbo stick for the middle, and cut the regular-sized sticks in varying lengths, to make the shape of an evergreen.  Paint with green acrylic paint, and decorate with sequins.  Use a hot glue gun to put a loop at the top for hanging on the tree, or put a magnet strip on the back to use it as a fridge magnet.  The AWANA teacher did this same craft, but she used foam cut into tree shapes.

My boys love crafts!  This is what they do to my dining room, when they're in a crafty mood.  They name "crafts" as their second favorite subject in school.  I only pretend to know anything about crafts.  God help me!  Thank God for crafty moms, whose ideas I steal from the Internet, and from magazines.  The stick tree was featured in Parents magazine--ran across it at a doctor's office.

Mary's B-day post

Mary had a birthday on the 14th.  This is based on "The Important Book" by Margaret Wise Brown.

The important thing about Mary is that she loves her family
It's true that she loves to use big words
And that she jumps off the furniture
And that she applies gobs of toothpaste
But the important thing about Mary is that she loves her family

The important thing about Mary is that she loves dresses ("Oh! Beautifee!")
It's true that she is tomboyish
And that she rarely plays with dolls
And that she's been known to climb cupboards looking for chocolate
But the important thing about Mary is that she loves dresses

The important thing about Mary is that she declares her love
It's true that she gives tight hugs
And that she plays ball with her brothers
And that she likes hot oatmeal
But the important thing about Mary is that she declares her love

The important thing about Mary is that she's the love of our lives
It's true that she eats flour, sugar, salt, and butter when we bake (yuck!)
And that she misses her brothers when they're gone
And that she rates Sunday church as awesome (jumping in the air as she says "awesome!")
But the important thing about Mary is that she's the love of our lives

The important thing about Mary is that she loves her sister Beth
It's true that she lets Beth climb on her
And that she kisses Beth's head
And that she is sometimes jealous of Beth
But the important thing about Mary is that she loves her sister Beth

The important thing about Mary is that she's a curious mix of independence and vulnerbility
It's true that she seeks her blanket after disappointments
And that she tries new things readily
And that she likes Momma close by
But the important thing about Mary is that she's a curious mix of independence and vulnerbility

The important thing about Mary is that now she's 3!
It's true that her favorite tales are "The Gingerbread Man" and "The Three Little Pigs"
And that she thinks cake is "delectable"
And that she likes to peel Clementine orange by herself
But the important thing about Mary is that now she's 3!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Mary!  Momma loves you so!

receiving hearts

Last night we attended a beautiful, music-enhanced candlelight service, at which our pastor spoke about the meaning of Christmas.   Wrestling with Beth in the foyer, I didn't catch very much.  I can't wait to sit through an entire sermon, holding my husband's hand!  Can you mommies relate?

On the way home my husband filled me in on the sermonette.  An inspirational story was included to illustrate the point that Christmas is about giving--not about receiving.

Right there, I burst into tears.

You see, I too, thought Christmas was primarily about giving.  And the last two Christmases, we've done more receiving than giving.  Far more.  I struggle so much with this!

Earlier this month, I decided to do a large-scale cookie giving project.  It  failed.  The children, too young for such an ambitious, nearly-daily pursuit, would have felt neglected if I'd gone through with it.  Just getting a hot meal on the table is hard enough around here, without adding constant baking to the mix.

I decided to come up with other ways to give, but I only managed to have a 10-year-old cousin over for cookie baking, and an 8-year-old homeschooling friend and her father over for dinner.

When Christmas Eve arrived, I faced my failure--I hadn't given as I'd desired.  I see now, in retrospect, that I was trying to "make up" for all the receiving we had done.

All week I tried to get three different kinds of cookies baked for our Pastor and his family, to be given on Christmas Eve.  Sick kids, runny noses, laundry, schooling, and all the rest got in the way.  No cookies.

So two hours before church, I thought maybe pumpkin muffins for their breakfast might be nice, and maybe faster.  I had to ignore the children and get right to it.

The girls were fussy and restless and still sick--not a fun scenario.

Forty-five minutes before church, I tasted one of the muffins, to make sure they were giving-worthy.  Not, people.  Not worthy at all.  Too dry, and not sweet enough.  Lousy recipe.

Frustrated but resigned, I gave up and got the troops ready for church.  We went empty-handed.  I'll work on his muffins for New Years.

As I paced the foyer, I decided to try one more way to give, this Christmas season.  A woman from our church had open-heart surgery in late fall, and still, she felt weak.  She used to watch Mary in the church nursery while I helped in AWANA, and I really wanted to do something for her.  When church let out, I tracked her down and asked if I could clean her house.  Now, I realize this seems ridiculous, since I don't even have time to clean my own house.  But whatever..I felt desperate.

Her daughter, residing only eight minutes away from her, had it all covered.  She didn't need my help.

Now, changing scenes here.  We're back to the drive home in the car, after church.  As I said, my husband filled me in on the sacrificial-giving story the pastor relayed, and I burst into tears.

Me:  "Where does that leave people like us, who can't give? What meaning does Christmas have for us?  All we do is receive."

Husband:  "You give all the time, Honey.  You give of yourself to your family.  You are doing fine to just focus on that.  Besides, Pastor didn't mention this tonight, but Christmas is also about receiving.  Jesus came so that we could receive him and have eternal life.  Without our willingness to receive, we are nothing."

I absorbed that, and my heart rested some.  Then tonight, the full weight of my husband's teaching penetrated my heart.

I can't complete this story without telling you how we've been blessed.   Perhaps it will encourage you in your own situation, in some way.

Three relatives gave us money for Christmas; all of it went to delinquent bills.  I dread telling them that, as they intended it to be for the children.  While I feel very bad about this situation, the children are spoiled, in my opinion--they are not to be pitied, believe me.  They have more than enough, and we have no room for more toys.  The church gave them two gifts each and a stocking, and a cousin, who loves Christmas and buys for everyone, gave them gifts.  And at the last minute on Christmas Eve, a gift card arrived, allowing my husband to pick out a few things to add to their Christmas-morning joy.  He had tears in his eyes as he prepared to brave Christmas Eve crowds.  Always related to fatherhood, tears appear in his eyes about three or four times a year.  Earlier in the week, he mentioned his sorrow about not being able to pick out something of his own choosing, for each of his children.

The rest of that gift card means we'll have plenty of holiday food--which is another blessing for my dear husband.  Holidays are about food for my Honey, lean though he is--courtesy of high metabolism.

Busy but blessed.  That describes our day.  We were alone--just our little ones and us.  It was frenzied, with the holiday cooking and no relatives around to play with the kids, but we managed to enjoy each other, still.  The boys, brushing their teeth tonight, said they were sad Christmas was over.  They told me they had a wonderful day, and they hugged me.  I felt so blessed by their comments.  We're so well cared for!

Each time someone gave to us this Christmas, I knew God had something to do with it.  The timing of each generous act tells a story in itself.  God will never leave us or forsake us.  Always, he will provide.  He knows the hearts and hopes of little children (and big ones), and he doesn't disappoint.  Potential existed for my children to experience disappointment, but God didn't allow it.

Let us all open our hearts, and receive his gifts, unashamedly.  For my sweet husband is right, Christmas is also about receiving.

This has been my best Christmas.  My heart-knowledge of God grew exponentially, as I opened myself to receive--not with shame, but with thanksgiving.

Merry Christmas, Dear Friends!

musings and updates

My Beth didn't cough as frequently after 2 a.m., thankfully.  She won't be needing to see her doctor for now. Daytime finds her energetic and mostly happy, wanting to climb on virtually everything in sight.  Over the phone her doctor indicated that colds can last three weeks, without complications.

First-time obedience training continues around here, modeled loosely after the Raising Godly Tomatoes website.  Staying focused on that awesome task takes a good deal of discipline on my part.  I had to stop myself mid-sentence today, while standing at the dryer, folding clothes.  It was my custom to give directions from whatever room my chores dictated.  I refrained today, and finished folding quickly, before going back to the children and giving directions.

They are doing well for the most part; arguing has lessened considerably already.  However, when my mind gets to wandering during the day, I'll fail to notice--until after the fact--that someone has slipped in a complaint before complying.  Definitely, my focus is essential and determines how quickly things turn around, eventually allowing me to enjoy my children ALL THE TIME.

Many different scenarios swirl around my head for solutions to the laundry problem (it takes up A LOT of my time).  Is there a way to manage it so that our day is not interrupted as frequently?  I've concluded the answer is no, for now.  Keeping up is essential--it will remain a disruption until the older children can wash and process their own loads ( within two years).

As I work on reforming my parenting, the issue of television comes up in my mind frequently.  We have taken TV away from the children several times over the years.  My most visual child, Paul, finds this difficult for a few days, but then adjusts accordingly.  Each time we've done it, however, something has come up, stretching us as parents and leading to television's return (morning sickness, initial job loss and accompanying fear, colicky babies, chronic migraines).  I simply hate the television, because it dumbs down my parenting, as well as their intellects.  Okay, PBS has two math/science programs that really help my boys (CyberChase, Fetch), but the number of repeated shows makes for some wasted time.

Increasingly, I want to sell the TV and just work out the accompanying issues, but my husband won't go for it--college sports are a big draw, even though he usually tapes the games and then never finds time to watch them.  He's under a lot of stress, so now isn't the time to talk about it.

Breaking down the television issue further, I see it's a matter of low expectations on my part.  I assume that without the couple hours of TV they get (1 hour morning, 1 hour afternoon), they would be rambunctious and bored, often getting into wrestling matches and requiring frequent discipline.  There's some truth to this, but using an exercise video, I hope to give them a daily movement class.  Winter temperatures complicate the need-to-move issue here in Ohio, especially for families who lack funds for gym memberships and sports programs.

Every parent has a different situation at home in terms of child spacing, and the level of support enjoyed from family and friends.  In days past, support was more of a given; moms and dads had opportunities to recharge that simply don't exist now.  If your kids watch two hours of TV, or four hours, I'm not judging you.  I've been there without support and my chronic migraines have made for some interesting days.

I record my thoughts on television here only to work toward a solution or schedule, so that it soon becomes a very small part of their lives.  I'm not there yet--just evaluating and reevaluating for now.  The main thing is that I teach them to use their time wisely, for godly, healthy pursuits.