Help From the Body

I love my online community!  It is small but special.  Handpicked by God, each reader is.  I've been ministered to in so many ways.  Thank you.

Just thank you.

This morning I received an e-mail from a blog reader friend whom I've "known" for twenty-one months.  She wrote a very warm, loving, heartfelt letter urging me to ask the church for help for my kids' sakes.  Having experienced financial instability as a child, she wrote from that perspective--as an advocate for our kids, while being understanding of our perspectives.  I couldn't see until after I read her letter that I (we) were punishing our kids by removing them from programs they dearly loved, all because of fear--fear of asking for help.

Yes, it is fear.

My head says people will wonder what is wrong with my husband and me, that we can't get back on our feet after all this time.   After all, we both have college degrees.  This really shouldn't be happening--or at least not for this long.  What are they saying behind our backs?  Things like this maybe: They're not trying hard enough!  They should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make it happen!  They should both be out there looking at every available moment.  They should put their kids in public school, start with subsidized daycare if necessary, and get good jobs!

I've no doubt that some of this, or all of it, is circulating in various minds.  Our financial crisis began when Baby Beth was three months old and colicky (she's now nearly 22 months).  There was no fear then that people would expect me to go to work.  But as time passed, I became self-conscious about being home while financial ruin threatened.  It was a relief of sorts when our second car went down for the count, making it impossible for both of us to work.  Was it God's way of providing some peace for my self-conscious soul?

I don't have a single flesh-and-blood person to confide in about the gravity of our situation--which explains my sobby previous post.  Holding it all in has been difficult, even though hope has been my companion until recently.

A few hours after reading my friend's e-mail, I decided to contact the church and tell them about the AWANA night transportation/work hour situation.  I agonized about whether to use the phone, e-mail, or a letter.  And I agonized about how to approach the topic of help.  (Can you tell I rarely ask for help?)  Should I directly ask if someone can pick up my kids, or simply tell them why we can't continue, and hope that God puts it on someone's heart to offer help?

Worrying myself into a migraine, I decided to wait until Monday.

Then Erica, the children's director, called.  She asked me how I was doing, and right there I almost lost it.

She knew it would probably be difficult for us, but she wanted to call anyway and invite our kids to participate in the Christmas Pageant, even though we're no longer regular attenders. (We're still going to the flexible-schedule megachurch right now).

I gave her a heartfelt thanks.  And then I took a deep breath.

I mumbled through some details, saying that I knew it was a lot to ask, but we needed transportation help to continue with AWANA.

And the woman started crying.

She said that she loved our kids--that the whole church did--and that she'd do anything for them.  And through her tears, she pleaded with me not to be afraid to ask for help.  She mentioned the art class, telling me they had a surplus of money, and that not all parents could pay, and that was okay.

And then I started crying.

Breaking down, I told her how exhausted we were--husband and me.  How we had both recently lost hope, wondering how long this trial could possibly last.

And she listened.  She understood.  Then she prayed for us.

And I felt loved.  Relieved.  Uplifted.

After the phone call, I went outside to tell the children, tears still streaming down.

Hearing the news, Paul ran up to me and jumped in my arms, full of joy about AWANA and art and Erica's love.

I learned a lot today.

Most of all, I learned that when you lose hope, the Body of Christ hopes for you.

Thank you, dear sister, for your e-mail!  And the prayer.  God used it.

Amy's baby

Amy from Raising Arrows had her baby!  You wouldn't believe the size of this baby!  Mine ranged in weight from 5 pounds 9 ounces to 6 pounds 6 ounces.  And I thought my labors were painful!  I can't imagine.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

 The very hungry caterpillar has eaten all day long.  Do you see him on the twig with a leaf in his (or her) mouth?  The mouth is on the left.

Here is a macro shot, with the mouth on the right now.  

My next question is, how did this thing, which will become a sphinx moth, go from dead-as-a-doornail, to very hungry and active and agile?

Was it our prayers?  Or does their skin heal from boo boos, just as ours does?

One thing for sure.  This little bugger is pretty entertaining.

Okay, yes.  I admit it.  We're weird.  

driven to distraction and caterpillars

The AT&T van was outside my home yesterday.  I didn't talk with the driver, but as I pulled out of my driveway and headed to the library with the kids, I expected the Internet to be unavailable upon my return.  We'd been using AT&T high speed Internet for $37 dollars a month.  We don't have a land phone or cable TV, so $37 was the cheapest deal around.   

But alas, I write to you today from my home, so the employee was apparently in the neighborhood on some other business.   The bill is more than thirty days overdue, so I'm sure he'll be back soon.  I have yet to get on the phone and order the disconnection.  

What I will miss most about in-home Internet is the opportunity to connect with another adult.  I lead a fairly isolated life, as is true for many stay-at-home moms.  

It has been a doosey of a morning!  It doesn't matter, somehow, that no one may read this or respond for hours--or respond at all.  It just helps to interact with someone old enough to pour their own drink without spilling it.  Ya know what I mean?

It all started when I sent the children outside for a brief playtime.  I needed to do the morning dishes and get the table ready for school.  Miss Active Toddler Beth is content playing outside when her siblings are with her.  Oftentimes sending them all outside is the only way I can accomplish needed tasks (without a high-enough, working child safety gate, that is).  Don't ask me what we'll do in winter!  

In our backyard, Peter found a caterpillar none of us had seen before.  He was excited and immediately grabbed it, forgetting our no-bare-hands rule.  That rule has been longstanding and is usually followed.  

Back when Peter was four years old we were on a hike, during which Peter found a white caterpillar.  He held it in his hand for about an hour (we had no containers with us).  To make a long story short, his whole hand swelled up a day later, necessitating a doctor visit.  Steroid cream and an oral antihistamine were prescribed. It was a painful experience, in more ways than one.  :)

Anyhow, this morning, in shock, Peter abruptly dropped the caterpillar and screamed.  It did something to his hand (pricked, stabbed--whatever) that triggered a full blown anxiety attack--almost destroying Peter's excitement at having discovered something new.  And in our backyard no less!  

The anxiety pretty much stopped all of us in our tracks.  Peter's behavior often sometimes has that quality about it.  Ahem.  

I felt forced to drop everything and research what kind of caterpillar he'd found, to discover how to treat his hand and calm his anxiety.  He felt sure he would die.  For my part, I knew that a second allergic reaction wouldn't be good, per the doctor's warning.  Whether it depends on being the same type of caterpillar, I don't know.  The prior reaction was not caused by one of the stinging, harmful caterpillars.  It was assumed that it was the amount of time Peter's hand had contact with the caterpillar hairs.  

Neither is this morning's caterpillar one of the dangerous ones, thank goodness.  At any rate, I gave him oral antihistamine.  Peter, that is, not the caterpillar.

And in the meantime the caterpillar--due to having been dropped--slowed his activity level, then began bleeding and dying.  Or rather he was lifeless and appeared to have died (we found out later).  Peter wailed in sadness and pounded the floor, and on the inside, I wailed in stress and sadness.  You see, we were all kind of excited about what it might turn into.  Butterfly or moth?  Colorful or boring?  Big or little?  

We love the mystery of nature.

Now, several hours later, I can report that Peter's caterpillar resurrected itself, as it were.  The bleeding spot repaired itself and he or she is eating contentedly and pooping, but not crawling.  Perhaps we can keep putting the leaves near its mouth until the dear thing is large enough to make a chrysalis--this will be soon, judging from the size.

Our spirits, previously downcast, have been lifted--like on an Easter morn.

But somehow, I still feel like I need a vacation.

Or a handful of chocolate chips.  Or another batch of yummy homemade applesauce.  Or an apple crisp.  

Closing thoughts on the Internet.  More than anything, the Internet is a distraction in our home.  I like that information is at our fingertips, but I can list our research topics and we can look them up all at once on a Tuesday morning at the neighborhood library.  In fact, all uses of the Internet (for us) are better being compartmentalized into a few sittings a week.

Somehow, without this distraction, I think we will truly find each other.  Truly dwell in knowledge of each other.  Unable to escape--no longer driven to distraction--we can better achieve our goals.  

And our goals are these:  

Matthew 22:37-39

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

A Well-Rounded Education

Our homeschooling days are peaceful and fun now, for the most part.  I love Charlotte Mason!

I did not write a detailed master school schedule for fall semester.  There were too many changes and interruptions with a baby around to make it work last year, and the same will be true for this year, with an active toddler in our midst.

Instead, each morning after breakfast the boys take out a piece of paper and I dictate their morning schedules for them to write out (including morning chores/group devotions).  When they're done they've got a simple list of tasks (no time frames are included, except for independent reading).  This is working very well.  It still feels structured and keeps the ADHD under some control, while also easily accommodating changes to our routine, like a teething baby, sick children, or literacy morning at the library on Thursdays for my two little girls, ages 21 months and 3.5-years.

We write another schedule after lunch, if we still have more schooling or chores/cooking/baking to do.  Usually by the afternoon they just have to listen to mom read one or two more things, followed by their short dictations.  Listening and dictating are always low stress, and thus perfect for the afternoons.  We find any type of storytime a bonding experience.

All four children have ample outside play and explore time, despite the hefty list of living books you'll see below.

The girls benefit as well from hearing all this good classical literature!  I read to the boys in the playroom while the girls play, or at the kitchen table while the girls work with Playdoh/crayons/puzzles.

Some non-Charlotte Mason details:  Paul is finishing up a 2nd grade math book, and Peter has begun a 3rd grade math book.  Paul rarely needs help, while Peter needs help on every section, partially due to wanting to be spoon fed his math concepts, rather than working diligently at figuring things out on his own.  Math is the most trying part of my day.  3rd grade math does get complicated, so I have to walk a fine line--encouraging him to try harder, while providing sufficient support for complicated concepts.

I purchased Explode the Code spelling/phonics books last year, which we are finishing up.  After that I'll go my own way in spelling.

The boys do copywork three times a week, which consists of copying Bible verses.

Peter writes casual friendly letters/thank you notes 2-3 times a week, but Paul currently does no composing.

Charlotte Mason homeschooling log:

The boys are reading & narrating the following (in 25-minute reading segments, twice a day, for 50 total independent reading minutes):

8.5-year-old Peter is reading Laura's Pa, by Laura Ingalls Wilder - reading level 3.5

6.5-year-old Paul is reading Charlotte's Web, by E.B. White - reading level 4.9--if he hadn't already seen the movie, this book would probably be too hard.  He is narrating it to my satisfaction so far.

Mom is reading these selections to the boys, after which they narrate (retell the events of the story, in order):

Literature - Heidi, by Johanna Spyri - (Reading level 3.5)  They can read it themselves, but I grabbed it off our shelf for before-bed story time one night, before realizing the reading level was technically too low for a read aloud.  But we've enjoyed this experience together!  It's been priceless.

Ideally, read alouds should be at least two levels higher than your child's own reading level, to enhance vocabulary.

Literature - Robin hood, Howard Pyle  (Reading level 6.1)

Literature - The Complete Poems, by Christina Rossetti

Science - Pagoo, by Holling Clancy Holling.  (Reading level 6.1) This is a living book for science which describes the life of Pagoo, a hermit crab who started as a speck of ocean plankton.  Fascinating!

Science - Handbook of Nature Study, by Anna Botsford Comstock

History - This Country of Ours, by H.E. Marshall (4th - 6th grade reading level)--a living book for social studies.  A living book is in story form, often, and written by someone who has a passion for the subject matter.  Put another way, living books are the opposite of boring textbooks.  They make the subject matter come alive for the learner.   In this first term we are reading about how the Vikings of old found new land.

History - Our Island Story, by H. E. Marshall (grade range 9-11)  A living book for social studies.  The first term we are reading about the years 1066 - 1189 - Kings Harold II to Henry II

History Biography - The Little Duke, by Charlotte Yonge.  This is a biography of Richard, Duke of Normandy, great grandfather of William the Conqueror, 943 A.D.

Geography - Tree in the Trail, by Holling C. Holling

Geography - Seabird, by Holling C. Holling

Keep in mind that each reading is only about 15 minutes in duration, with the boys' narrations (oral retellings) taking no longer than five minutes each. 


We don't read all of these books every day.  We alternate.  And a few of them are large volumes which we will read over a couple of years (Our Island Story, and This Country of Ours, and Handbook of Nature Study, and The Complete Poems).


The purpose of reading so many different things at one time is to give kids a well-rounded education, so they can discover what things they feel most passionate about.  Without exposing them to a wide variety of literature and subject areas, they can't possibly develop their intellects fully.

The goal is for the students to be reading all these living books on their own by the 4th or 5th grade.

Language arts learning, incidentally, has four components: listening, speaking, reading and writing.  Often the listening and speaking components are woefully neglected, which makes it harder for a child to develop outstanding reading and writing skills.  The four components all depend on one another and build on one another.

I love Charlotte Mason for her instinct in rounding out a child's learning experiences, in more ways than one.  She was brilliant!  Of course she had no husband or children, so she had time to develop brilliance!  She dedicated her life to teaching and writing about education.

Details needing finalizing:  We still need to pick a composer and an artist to study for this term, and I need to get some handicraft projects planned and organized.  The boys do impromptu craft projects for now.  Ambleside Online, my Charlotte Mason companion, suggests you start slow with their curriculum.  That's just what we're doing!