I voted!

Mommy and Daddy proudly posing for Peter, who took an election day, "I voted!" picture

unwinding

Did I mention I had a guest coming Tuesday afternoon?  And needed to purge items to send back with our guest?  And declutter and clean the house?  And make a seventh birthday cake for Paul, and shop for the coolest, big boy, model-type Lego toy to be found for under $20.00?  And decorate the house with balloons and streamers?  Decorations are Peter's present to the birthday boy--who celebrates his big day tomorrow.  (No party is planned--my kids just love party decor.)

I had no help today, needless to say.  No, Auntie Lorrie is not picky.  But this house is so not clean and ready.  And her room is not ready.  I've only gotten so far as finishing the packaging of the giveaway stuff I was storing in half that room (baby's room).

I should add that we have inadequate storage space (no garage or basement) so getting ready for a guest is always problematic.

Children eight and under do not leave their Momma alone.  Much.

They try, perhaps, but the more I stick to my guest-readying tasks, the worse things become.  Taking little cuddle breaks helps some.  But they always know when Momma's on a cleaning mission; things are never good after that.  They love their Auntie Lorrie intensely, but that love never translates into cooperation when housekeeping tasks become paramount.. What that love does translate to, is excited chaos.

And don't even get me started on the AT&T company who kept me on the phone for an hour, mostly on hold, while they connected me to seven different people, usually prefacing the switch with, "Let me get a specialist who can handle that."  Baby Beth screamed the last fifteen minutes of my hold time.

Why, pray tell, did I need to speak with AT&T?  Since you asked, I'll get it off my chest.  I called last month to cancel my Internet service, in an effort to save money.  But as we thought about the job hunting, and the time necessary at the library to send out e-mail resumes, it didn't seem feasible for our schedule to cancel service entirely.  So I downgraded to basic speed.  It appears that the order went through, since I can no longer use the Internet to watch/listen to Christian music without the video freezing up multiple times.  Nor can I watch any news videos.

Anyhow, when the bill came today, I noticed I was still getting charged for the faster speed.  After an hour, when I finally got the right attendant and we were nearly done, my cell phone dropped the call.  This was after I bounced my very upset baby on my hip for the last fifteen minutes of the call!  I wonder why they can't train their people to do more than one simple customer service task?  The second to last attendant took all my information, acted like he was going to help me, and then put me on hold, only to tell me later that he could upgrade someone's service, but not downgrade it.

So, I'm back to square one.  Slow Internet speed for too much money.  I think I'll wait a day to deal with them again.  Thanks be to God that I was patient, even if Baby was not.


To say I had a challenging day is an understatement.  I'm not sure I've ever needed to count blessings more than I do today.

My gratitude list:

- my children have a Christian relative in their Auntie Lorrie, whom we all love dearly  They have only two other Christian relatives--my father's sister, who resides in our small township, and husband's aunt, who resides in PA..

- that I even have a house to declutter

- that a little fourteen-month-old boy and his young parents are getting eight large garbage bags of loot.  Wish I could have packaged it better, but boxes wouldn't fit as well and we wanted to get it all out in one load.

- that Paul gets to go to Toys R Us tomorrow with Daddy, to pick out some sports equipment, per Grandma and Grandpa's birthday check.  Maybe I can get husband to take all four kids with him, before he leaves for work?  I can clean at a very rapid pace when the house is empty!

- that I have a sounding board for days like today, in my Internet friends.  Much better than burdening husband.  He doesn't need news of hassles at home right now.

- that my little Mary is singing her Christmas pageant songs loud and proud.  She loves the CD we were given to practice with!  We all do, actually.

- that I still like my haircut, on day two.

- that we have a working furnace (bitterly cold today)

- that libraries are nice places to go in the winter (all year, of course, but winter especially).

- that I may have the van to myself soon, if all goes well, and can go to libraries at will during the snow months.  Do you think that second car is coming just in time to save Momma's winter sanity?  Yes, I agree.


- That my heavenly father prompted me to go into Mary's room for a cuddle after a tough day.  She woke her sister up tonight after I tried so hard to settle Beth down to sleep.  Momma was harsh at first.

- That I know tomorrow will probably not go as smoothly as I hope, but that Lorrie is kind and understanding and it won't matter a bit to her.  Daddy won't arrive home until late, so thank goodness Lorrie will be here to help sing Paul a happy birthday and share his cake and Lego delight.

- My kids will be so happy when Lorrie comes through that door, that all the stress of getting the abode ready and comfortable will melt away.  They are always proud of Momma when the house is nice and clean for guests.  Strange, huh?  That they make it so difficult, yet appreciate it so much?

- That once Lorrie arrives, I'll be able to love on my little Beth to my heart's content.  She deserves some one on one, beyond our sweet nursing times.  That time always gets neglected when I'm involved in a project.  Wish we had grandparents here to help with these times.

- That my experiences here remind me to pray for my children's adult needs--that they'll develop rich support systems as they build their families.  We are older parents and we'll be even older grandparents, but this matter isn't too big for Father, to be sure.

smile - here's why

Saturday featured a haircut for Momma--a six-inch trimming of one-length hair, leaving it an inch below the chin. I walked into the house expecting only stares, remembering the non-event my last big haircut was.  Instead, I got nothing.  I mean nothing.  Not even a sideways glance, people.  And if I must say so myself, it looks 100% better.  Really.

There are positives in this whole thing.  I'll list them:

- They love me for me, not because of my looks.

- They aren't noticing my wrinkles and inelastic skin, either.

- They aren't noticing that one's neck ages first.  (Put sunscreen on your neck and hands, all you thirty-somethings).

- They aren't noticing that the acne scars on my chin age me about eight years.  I asked the beautician to be sure and keep my chin covered with hair, as I'd hate to have my acne scars highlighted.  She said, "Honestly, I didn't even notice them."   Beauticians are special people!

I found looking into the mirror during my haircut, with the daylight shining in on me, to be a sobering experience.  What it taught me:

- Smiling makes even old people look attractive.  Smile.  Smile.  Smile.  You can never smile too much.  It's an outward adornment of which Jesus wholeheartedly approves!

- If you think your wrinkles are ugly now, just think how you must look yelling, arguing, or scowling.  Yikes!  Aging is good for only one thing:


It forces us to build our inner beauty, which is only accomplished by setting our gaze on God and eternity.


Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-7

full of blessings and learning something too

Full of blessings this Saturday night:

- Home for dinner (a rare thing), Daddy played with Baby Beth so Mommy could stand at the stove and tend to the pancakes--uninterrupted.

- Meals are a crazy time around here, but I've learned to completely set the table, thinking of every detail, before calling the family forth.  While it's still not exactly leisurely, everyone does stay seated, including Mommy and Daddy.  That's progress to sing about.  Hallelujah!

- Mommy is learning a lot about grace.  Mary found a vest just before bedtime and put it over her sleeper.   In the not-so-graceful past, I would have insisted she take it off and put it away for the night.  Instead, I said she could wear it to bed.  Twenty minutes later, I came out of Beth's room--having nursed her to sleep--and found Mary still sitting up in bed, intent on buttoning this vest.  Buttoning is a skill she desperately wants to master.  Admiring her perseverance, I decided to leave her be, not letting her see me.  Next, I went into the playroom where the boys were waiting for me to read.  Sure enough, when I checked on Mary fifteen minutes later, she was fast asleep.

I'm blessed tonight because I sense my parenting is beginning to reflect this important lesson:  Only say no when you can't say yes.  Once you put this into practice, you stop exasperating your children.  I'm not there yet, but I'm pausing more and reflecting first.  Is discipline really needed here, or should this moment be grace-filled?


Colossians 3:21  Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.


Ephesians 6:4  Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.


- The boys and I began reading Little Men tonight, by Louisa May Alcott.  This book has one of the most pleasant, engaging beginnings I've encountered in a while.  Ms. Alcott manages to endear her characters to the reader in just under five pages.  Now that's superb writing!  I'm thankful tonight for all the amazing writers--for their countless hours of thankless practice, perfecting a beautiful craft, worthy of delighting generations of readers, young and old.  Writing doesn't pay well, and there may never be any noteworthy recognition, but it's still a priceless endeavor.

- Auntie Lorrie, husband's sister, will be visiting Tuesday through Saturday morning.  We won't see her again until the winter snow melts, giving way to spring color and new life.  She lives in PA, eight hours away, and doesn't drive in snow if she can help it.  As much as having an overnight visitor is a lot of work, I'm really looking forward to her visit.  We've become friends, after eleven years of being mere in-laws.  I'm teary-eyed just writing that.  It's such a blessing!

- Husband will drive back with Lorrie, stopping at James' house (his best friend) to pick up James' late mother's car.  It is old--some twenty years--but it received regular check ups and only has about seventy thousand miles on it.  We will pay James $500 in February.  As long as it works reasonably well (it wasn't driven much in the last year), we are on our way to having a second car!  Auntie Lorrie's church singles' group is going to purchase the first six months of car insurance for us.  This was all put together through phone calls between Auntie Lorrie, James, and my husband, over the past few months.  What a blessing--specially since husband is putting 600 miles a week on our van, driving around to different janitorial contracts--with no gas reimbursement!  Gas prices are killing us.  The van, already having nearly 170,000 miles, is being run into the ground, which is a real problem, given our family size.  Anyhow, God sure puts things together neat and tidy, doesn't he?  Even when all looks hopeless to us.

- It has taken me far too long, but I'm also learning valuable lessons about toys and clutter.  I gave away a large portion of our toys months ago, keeping only the things I thought were necessary.  Now, several months later, I'm purging again.  Lorrie will take several bags back with her, containing toys, shoes, clothes, winter wear, and children's movies, to a fourteen-month-old boy (my husband's third cousin).  The little lad's parents are mere teenagers and they'll need all the help they can get.  I'm thankful we can help, as well as being grateful for another important lesson.  Less is more.

I'm keeping only the train track set, the Tinkertoys, the Lincoln Logs, the two sizes of Legos, small wooden blocks, a few puzzles, board games, the dolls, kitchen and shopping cart.  That's still a lot of toys!  Yet, each of them is a classic, given to much imagination, suitable to multiple ages, and capable of building attention span.  What goes this time is Fisher Price Little People (barn, Noah's Ark, Little People figurines, and accessories), all toddler toys, and all movies except a few Pooh Bear, a few Dora, a few Barney, and number/alphabet movies.

I hate to say this, but next time Lorrie comes, I'm thinking of unloading some books.  I have a massive amount of children's books, but most of them are paperback, purchased through Scholastic book clubs back in my teaching days.  My children rarely look at them, except the board books, which Beth still likes and needs.  Fancy-covered, beautifully illustrated hardcover library books won my children's hearts long ago. My books never had a chance.  They were sent home with my students for nightly reading, so they've seen better days.  This precious lad may not be taken to the library for years to come, or at all, so he'll need my humble books.

School districts find millions of dollars for textbooks, but as a public-school classroom teacher, I found myself spending $100 a month on books just to keep enough around to encourage a love of reading!  One lesson I wish public schools would learn--indeed, all schools--is this:  Trust good literature to teach eager minds.  Trust eager minds to devour good literature.  And stop constant testing!  It's dumbing down both teacher and student--a whole nation, essentially.

Children Are A Joy!

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.  Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them."  
Psalm 127:4-5

Whether adopted or born to us, children fill our lives with unspeakable joy.  When the nest empties, it isn't the child-rearing hassles that are forever etched into memory.  It's the joy.  Just the joy.

My husband wanted only two children, accepted three when Mary came along, and panicked when I fell pregnant with our fourth (we miscarried babies one and three).  So panicked was he at number four, that he made a vasectomy appointment.  While still sad and dismayed at that, I realized recently that in waiting until after the fourth (or rather, the sixth) to do the deed, he was sacrificing more than I know.  He lost his job just after making the vasectomy appointment, and more than once, he's wondered if God was disappointed in that decision--especially since we're still paying the price of job loss nineteen months later.  His age I'm sure has something to do with the slow return to full-time work.  People over 50 just aren't hired at the same rate as younger people.

There are few things in life that require more faith than having multiple children, especially if Mom and Dad are older than the twenties upon starting.  I don't find fault with anyone's family size, or with birth control or surgeries, but I do think we lose some of God's blessings when we limit our families.  No, I don't think God punishes us.  I just think we know a lesser joy for having limited what God might do through us.  Sometimes he can do more through us by making us barren, or limiting our children, or having our children meet him early.  Whatever the case, I think he wants to run the show exclusively.  And our part is to trust his plan--even when it's unconventional (we're very old or young), or when it's painful (miscarriage, death, infertility).

All that said, I feel like listing the ways children bring us joy:

- They jump up and down when excited.  Adults would never do that--or at least not when someone over ten is watching. :)  Or is that just me?

- Their eyes dance when they've just seen something miraculous--like a lightening bolt, or a rainbow, or a frisky squirrel, or a hailstone, or a colorful bird.

- They marvel at the seasons and remind us that the seasons are marvelous.

- They forgive readily, love readily, believe readily.

- They fit against us perfectly when we cuddle up.

- They clap for themselves when they do something new (or is that just toddlers? :)

- They get super-duper excited about being served some cookies.

- Water gives them the giggles--in baths, pools, rain puddles, sinks, streams.

- They know it's the inside that counts, not the exterior.  Thus, they aren't anxious about whether their hair is combed, their teeth brushed, their clothes wrinkled, their house messy, their face crumb-free.

- Pets fill them with joy, as though they've brought their first baby home from the hospital.

- Smearing things fills them with squealing delight--paint, jelly, frosting, butter, soap, mud (or is that just toddlers?).

- They love a story.  And is it just me, or are animal stories a universal favorite, at least for the early years?  Back to the pet phenomena, I guess.

- They learn new things effortlessly, all the time.  Just not always in the order we'd like, or through the method we'd like.

- Adults come in out of the rain.  Children play in it.  Marvel at it.  Laugh at it.

- They like cheese.  A lot.  They're already smiling when you reach for it in the fridge.  Saturated fat, you say?  Suddenly, at age two, I'm not supposed to indulge in so much cheese?  Saturated, smaturated!  Give me my cheese! Cheese baby!  Gotta have it.  What does that pediatrician guy know, anyway?  Every time I go there I get sick!

- They wake up cuddle-ready.  Every morning.

-  They like to help.  (Or is that just toddlers, again?)

-  Excited, they show you their glorious scribbles, as though they rival the Mona Lisa in magnificence.  And in your eyes, it's usually true.

- They love you unconditionally.

- When they see the first snow, they don't think of the work or hassle involved.  Just the fun.  Always the fun.

- If they're still in their pajamas at 11:00 a.m., it doesn't bother them in the least.

- Their eyes light up at the word pancakes.

- They call you Mommy, even at age eight.

- They love togetherness more than anything.

- Home is where their heart is.

- They like to be tickled--they don't mind out-of-control giggling.  Adults get embarrassed if you try to tickle them.

- Shiny things delight them.

- They are unaware of your age.  Don't enlighten them.

- They get excited about their years going upward.  Adults get depressed about their "growing" numbers (or is that just after 35?).

- They sigh contentedly after nursing.

- They know what's important in life--God, love, family.

Last but not least, their love makes us feel like a million bucks.  No, that isn't the reason to have children--for how they'll make us feel--but it's sure nice to rejoice in their love, for as long as we can.