A couple days ago I read a post that reminded me of how differently we live. This last Wednesday Pioneer Woman went to the "big city" with her husband and their four kids. She did the Thanksgiving grocery shopping while the rest of the family went to a theater for a movie, popcorn and Twizzlers.
Nothing unusual about that. Millions of Americans do it monthly, at least.
My kids have never experienced that. From the looks of it, until they have jobs of their own, they may never know the inside of a movie theater.
No big loss, but it did remind me that much of America knows leisure time. Our outside-the-home leisure activities include visiting one of the several libraries in our area, or one of the several parks, or less often, a museum. Even then, our time is rushed due to Daddy needing the van for work.
I don't read many blogs anymore. Miss Beth's activity level, at twenty-three months old, makes it difficult to take little breaks. The few I read seldom give such life details, so I don't often think about how differently we live.
I stand in awe of God's grace.
He has taken so much from us. Even leisure time. And yet I have joy. I am fulfilled. Stressed, yes, but much of that is not financial. A special-needs eight-year-old child and a toddler with her hands into everything make stress my constant companion. My other three passed through the hands-into-everything stage, so I have perspective. This too shall pass.
If someone told me that, sometime after quitting my teaching career, I would....
... pay every utility bill a month late
...barely scrape up enough money for my house payment
...never take my kids to a decent restaurant, or to a movie theater
...never buy my kids or myself a new outfit
...not have a vehicle of my own
...always worry about how much gas I was using,.....
.....I would still be teaching. The fear would've been insurmountable. Such a lifestyle would never, never work for me, my head and heart would have screamed.
We look forward to library visits and park visits. All of us. There are so many around, and so much to do at each one, that we're always satisfied.
But how will my kids turn out, with so little knowledge of the world?
They'll be rich. Materialism will not have consumed them, distracted them, betrayed them. They'll know God's sufficiency, His power, His truths, His grace.
I stand in awe of God's grace.
My gratitude list:
- delicious sausage herb stuffing, pineapple/marshmallow sweet potatoes, garlic mashed potatoes, corn, steamed green beans, cranberry sauce, wheat rolls, gravy, and turkey (never mind that the nutrition data blog says that this meal is probably equal to 3000 to 4000 calories)
- My toddler, though impatient and stressed while Mommy cooked hour upon hour, did not prevent the meal from happening or being delicious (we had no guests to help entertain her).
- I managed to do two loads of laundry while I cooked, to keep the pile from being gargantuan the day after Thanksgiving.
- The library was open today and the boys actually found a Curious George video. They missed that cute little guy after we shut off the cable. So did I. Love that monkey! Too bad my toddler is not amused by library videos. None of mine paid any attention to television until after age two. Makes meal prep a stressful venture, let me tell you! Even so, Miss Beth hasn't received any burns from my busy stove. Praise the Lord! Now mind you, I've burned plenty of meals because of her. Can't wait until the day husband is home during dinner prep.
- this healthier, homemade hot chocolate mixture
- My aunt, who is leaving our area to spend the winter in Florida, came by tonight to give the kids a Christmas gift--20$ gift card to the neighborhood Pizza Hut restaurant. They are giddy with excitement!
- homeschooling around the holidays, and no cable TV (both prevent the gimmes)
- no money for Christmas, which means we'll experience the Christ in Christmas
- One of the libraries groups all the children's Christmas stories together. We can feast on them readily all month, without Momma having to search.
- With each passing day, I love Little Men more and more. Last night, after the boys went to bed, I did a search on Louisa May Alcott's life. Very interesting. I love that we're reading so many classics with good moral character as the central focus. Priceless. Kids remember lessons learned through story.
- My husband--loyal, faithful, hardworking, sacrificial. He missed college football so much on Thanksgiving day! I was sad for him. Good food softened the blow considerably. :) He ate so much he had to lie on the floor after the meal. Miss Beth thought that was great fun and crawled all over him.
Hope your day was special! Bless you, friends!
Just wanted to add that I need to write honestly on this blog. It helps me spiritually, intellectually, to write about things as they are. Never worry about us or think that you should offer to send something. I always appreciate your love and caring attitude, but God takes care of us. I'm not being stubborn or prideful when I say this. Really.
Love you, friends!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
some perspective, some thanksgiving
Did you ever notice that no matter what you're going through, you can always think of someone who is going through something worse? I've been following this blog for about two years now. The blog author, Shannon, has two children, both afflicted with a rare and fatal disorder called Sanfilippo Syndrome. She is watching her children slowly decline. If no cure is discovered, they will die.
No matter how bad things look within my little world, I always think of Shannon. Instead of rejoicing as her children grow, she fights tears at each lost skill. Talk about an upside down world!
Her blog is raw and honest. She doesn't try to paint a rosy picture; she grieves through her words. I admit that it's hard to read; sometimes I know what to say to her, and sometimes not.
Peter displayed some Obsessive Compulsive symptoms (OCD) when I experienced morning sickness during Beth's pregnancy. When the second trimester began and things settled down, his symptoms went away.
Since late September of this year, we've seen more pronounced OCD symptoms. Lately new things crop up frequently. For example, he suddenly began reading a lot less, following a period of eagerly devouring books. He also started reading aloud again, after already passing through that developmental stage. He tells me he has to read aloud because it keeps him from skipping words. He also rereads many phrases and entire sentences, for fear that he's skipped something. Even though I've assured him he never skips words, he still repeats lines, making reading quite frustrating. His brain, he tells me, makes him repeat lines so that Jesus won't be mad at him (distorted religious views are common with this disorder).
He can't be outside for more than two to five minutes before coming in to tell me that a stranger said something to him (but a stranger never does). The obsession is a stranger talking to him, and the ritual is to come and tell me. I am to say that no one spoke to him. If I don't respond as needed, he gets stressed. OCD kids go through these checking rituals, needing certain verbal assurances in order to go on with their day. For example, a child might say, "I think I touched raw egg. Am I going to be okay?" And the parent must say, "Yes, you're okay." The same sequence occurs over and over, driving the parent and child insane.
He also frequently says sorry to Jesus with his head bowed, because he either had a disturbing thought about hurting someone, or because he felt he did something wrong. OCD people don't act on their disturbing thoughts, but nevertheless, the thoughts cause great stress, which is not relieved until they've done their ritual.
Peter no longer falls asleep easily and must ask me about several things, including if a fire will happen, a tornado, or other disaster. He comes out of his room at least five times each night, asking me if such and such thing is going to happen, and I must assure him that, no, nothing bad is going to happen.
At times lately, I feel on the brink of despair. To see my son suffering like this is so painful! And, he takes up a lot of my time, leaving the other kids too little of my emotional energy. They are distancing themselves from his bizarre behavior; this has happened subtly over time, despite my giving them simple lessons on what OCD is.
Peter knows all these things are irrational, but he can't stop. We huddle and pray often now, asking God to help him fight these thoughts, and avoid doing the ritual. To the Lord's credit, my sweet boy is not bitter, except for some jealousy of his younger brother, whom he perceives has an easy life, compared to his.
If unchecked or untreated, the rituals associated with OCD impair functioning, making it difficult to live a normal life--they take up too much of the sufferer's time, for one thing. Cognitive Behavior Therapy--training them to challenge their thoughts and face their fears--in conjunction with medication, is the usual treatment. Although OCD often shows up at seven years old, kids this age are not generally given psychiatric drugs, unless they are severely impaired. We aren't going to seek OCD medication at this time, but Peter will see a neurologist to take a history and give recommendations for treatment (for the ADHD and OCD).
My husband's nephew has OCD and bipolar disorder, and my family has a history of anxiety disorders, so poor Peter, and my other children, have unfortunate genes on both sides. I won't know if my girls are completely normal until they reach at least age eight (or adolescence, for bipolar). Paul worries me in some respects, but it appears he will be less impaired than Peter.
My half brother has ADHD, and his daughter has bipolar and an anxiety disorder. ADHD, OCD, Tourette's Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder often occur together. They affect the brain similarly. If a parent has ADHD, for example, his child may inherit one of the others, or both.
When Peter's reading symptoms cropped up, I was so mad at God. How could He allow that pleasure to be tainted by this ugly disorder? As well as Peter's time outside, and his beloved baking and cooking?
But it wasn't long before I thought of Shannon, watching her children slowly die of Sanfilippo.
Do I really have any problems at all, compared to hers? I think not.
I trust God. I trust the outcome. But the journey is hard, despite His grace.
The challenge is to keep my eyes heavenward, every moment of the day. I do that, lately, by doing the prayer huddles with the children. At the very least, they help me ( and Peter and the kids) get through the next hour, at which time we huddle again, if necessary. They are troopers and don't look upon the praying as a chore.
My gratitude list:
- My husband is off on Thursday and Friday. He works seven days a week, normally. Time off isn't paid, but it will still be a blessing to all of us.
- Smiles and hugs, given to each other as gifts
- Peter's wound is finally looking better. For the first week, I wasn't getting the bandaging tight enough to hold the skin flap flat.
- Online friends. All of you. Thank you.
- Having online contact with other parents who have special-needs children. All the flesh and blood people near us have normal children; they don't understand, nor do I expect them to. Being understood feels priceless.
- 2 Corinthians 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
- The ability to comfort others. Without grief, without hardship, we never learn this. To be able to comfort is priceless!
- my sweet baby, sleeping better tonight (mild sinus infection following a cold)
- writing--it helps me process, and it allows God to speak to me
- Louisa May Alcott's Little Men, which has turned out to be quite a treasure. No surprise there.
- The book of Proverbs--easy for young children to follow.
- a warm house (Weather is turning. Snow expected on Friday.)
- warm clothes
- Thanksgiving, for the togetherness it allows, for the attitude it teaches
Happy Thanksgiving, friends!
No matter how bad things look within my little world, I always think of Shannon. Instead of rejoicing as her children grow, she fights tears at each lost skill. Talk about an upside down world!
Her blog is raw and honest. She doesn't try to paint a rosy picture; she grieves through her words. I admit that it's hard to read; sometimes I know what to say to her, and sometimes not.
Peter displayed some Obsessive Compulsive symptoms (OCD) when I experienced morning sickness during Beth's pregnancy. When the second trimester began and things settled down, his symptoms went away.
Since late September of this year, we've seen more pronounced OCD symptoms. Lately new things crop up frequently. For example, he suddenly began reading a lot less, following a period of eagerly devouring books. He also started reading aloud again, after already passing through that developmental stage. He tells me he has to read aloud because it keeps him from skipping words. He also rereads many phrases and entire sentences, for fear that he's skipped something. Even though I've assured him he never skips words, he still repeats lines, making reading quite frustrating. His brain, he tells me, makes him repeat lines so that Jesus won't be mad at him (distorted religious views are common with this disorder).
He can't be outside for more than two to five minutes before coming in to tell me that a stranger said something to him (but a stranger never does). The obsession is a stranger talking to him, and the ritual is to come and tell me. I am to say that no one spoke to him. If I don't respond as needed, he gets stressed. OCD kids go through these checking rituals, needing certain verbal assurances in order to go on with their day. For example, a child might say, "I think I touched raw egg. Am I going to be okay?" And the parent must say, "Yes, you're okay." The same sequence occurs over and over, driving the parent and child insane.
He also frequently says sorry to Jesus with his head bowed, because he either had a disturbing thought about hurting someone, or because he felt he did something wrong. OCD people don't act on their disturbing thoughts, but nevertheless, the thoughts cause great stress, which is not relieved until they've done their ritual.
Peter no longer falls asleep easily and must ask me about several things, including if a fire will happen, a tornado, or other disaster. He comes out of his room at least five times each night, asking me if such and such thing is going to happen, and I must assure him that, no, nothing bad is going to happen.
At times lately, I feel on the brink of despair. To see my son suffering like this is so painful! And, he takes up a lot of my time, leaving the other kids too little of my emotional energy. They are distancing themselves from his bizarre behavior; this has happened subtly over time, despite my giving them simple lessons on what OCD is.
Peter knows all these things are irrational, but he can't stop. We huddle and pray often now, asking God to help him fight these thoughts, and avoid doing the ritual. To the Lord's credit, my sweet boy is not bitter, except for some jealousy of his younger brother, whom he perceives has an easy life, compared to his.
If unchecked or untreated, the rituals associated with OCD impair functioning, making it difficult to live a normal life--they take up too much of the sufferer's time, for one thing. Cognitive Behavior Therapy--training them to challenge their thoughts and face their fears--in conjunction with medication, is the usual treatment. Although OCD often shows up at seven years old, kids this age are not generally given psychiatric drugs, unless they are severely impaired. We aren't going to seek OCD medication at this time, but Peter will see a neurologist to take a history and give recommendations for treatment (for the ADHD and OCD).
My husband's nephew has OCD and bipolar disorder, and my family has a history of anxiety disorders, so poor Peter, and my other children, have unfortunate genes on both sides. I won't know if my girls are completely normal until they reach at least age eight (or adolescence, for bipolar). Paul worries me in some respects, but it appears he will be less impaired than Peter.
My half brother has ADHD, and his daughter has bipolar and an anxiety disorder. ADHD, OCD, Tourette's Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder often occur together. They affect the brain similarly. If a parent has ADHD, for example, his child may inherit one of the others, or both.
When Peter's reading symptoms cropped up, I was so mad at God. How could He allow that pleasure to be tainted by this ugly disorder? As well as Peter's time outside, and his beloved baking and cooking?
But it wasn't long before I thought of Shannon, watching her children slowly die of Sanfilippo.
Do I really have any problems at all, compared to hers? I think not.
I trust God. I trust the outcome. But the journey is hard, despite His grace.
The challenge is to keep my eyes heavenward, every moment of the day. I do that, lately, by doing the prayer huddles with the children. At the very least, they help me ( and Peter and the kids) get through the next hour, at which time we huddle again, if necessary. They are troopers and don't look upon the praying as a chore.
My gratitude list:
- My husband is off on Thursday and Friday. He works seven days a week, normally. Time off isn't paid, but it will still be a blessing to all of us.
- Smiles and hugs, given to each other as gifts
- Peter's wound is finally looking better. For the first week, I wasn't getting the bandaging tight enough to hold the skin flap flat.
- Online friends. All of you. Thank you.
- Having online contact with other parents who have special-needs children. All the flesh and blood people near us have normal children; they don't understand, nor do I expect them to. Being understood feels priceless.
- 2 Corinthians 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
- The ability to comfort others. Without grief, without hardship, we never learn this. To be able to comfort is priceless!
- my sweet baby, sleeping better tonight (mild sinus infection following a cold)
- writing--it helps me process, and it allows God to speak to me
- Louisa May Alcott's Little Men, which has turned out to be quite a treasure. No surprise there.
- The book of Proverbs--easy for young children to follow.
- a warm house (Weather is turning. Snow expected on Friday.)
- warm clothes
- Thanksgiving, for the togetherness it allows, for the attitude it teaches
Happy Thanksgiving, friends!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
where two or three gather
So many frustrating things right now. Behavior, special-needs issues, sleep, finger injury, unpaid bills, poor peer influences at AWANA, poor chore follow-through at home--all these are challenging at the same time. I haven't known what to say in this space this week.
The children and I have taken to huddling together a few times a day to pray our difficulties away and read some Proverbs. When you just have no idea how to make things right or sane, it's time to call in the Expert, over and over again.
"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20
I'm here tonight to express gratitude for....:
- a sweet art teacher. My boys have loved their art class and learned many art techniques.
- a husband who stops to kiss me as he leaves, despite his stress
- a dishwasher, washer and dryer, clean drinking water, hot water, a vacuum that still works
- a trash man who took my extra leaf bags for free, despite a $3 a bag rule beyond 6 bags (a rule I didn't know about)
- playing outside in November in Ohio without a jacket
- a baby's first sentence (her speech is very unclear, but I'm glad for her phrases and now a tiny sentence.)
- a baby with curls down her back
- pumpkin pie cooling on the stove
- laundry caught up
- turkey thawing in the fridge for Thursday
- a boy who recognizes negative peer pressure and tells me: "I don't want to act tough and stupid. I want to be sweet."
I'm not so sure pairing 3rd graders with 4-6th graders is a good idea. We're praying about what to do with AWANA. At this particular church, it's dominated by public-schooled kids who've lost innocence, sweetness, and respect (in the older class; younger classes are going well). We want our boys to have godly role models for how young men should behave. Yes, boys are wild at heart and I don't fight that--wouldn't want to fight God's design. But they don't have to be disrespectful and callous as well. What public school seems to do for older kids is to eliminate individuality and create a mob. God help those who don't fit the mold! Each child on his own might be quite nice, but in the mob, one only sees the "tough-and-unruly" act.
A nearby large church has a program similar to AWANA called Brigade (for boys). That church has a homeschooled population mixed with Christian-schooled and public-schooled kids. It might be an option when I have a vehicle (the car pick-up in PA didn't work out. There is a probate issue with the car that needs the attorney's attention and their office is just not getting to it.)
Meantime, we are praying about how long to keep the kids in AWANA--a once-beloved program. The teachers and helpers are wonderful, which makes the decision very difficult. The kids and I are praying for the teachers (and students), who are challenged and stressed by the behaviors they're encountering with the boys. The Scripture that stands out at me right now is this:
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
If it were just a couple boys, that would be easier to deal with. But it's most of the twenty. How long can I expect my son to stay on the fringe at his young age, and possibly be bullied? If he were in high school or college, I've no doubt he could handle it. But at eight years old, I think it's a lot to ask
The children and I have taken to huddling together a few times a day to pray our difficulties away and read some Proverbs. When you just have no idea how to make things right or sane, it's time to call in the Expert, over and over again.
"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 18:20
I'm here tonight to express gratitude for....:
- a sweet art teacher. My boys have loved their art class and learned many art techniques.
- a husband who stops to kiss me as he leaves, despite his stress
- a dishwasher, washer and dryer, clean drinking water, hot water, a vacuum that still works
- a trash man who took my extra leaf bags for free, despite a $3 a bag rule beyond 6 bags (a rule I didn't know about)
- playing outside in November in Ohio without a jacket
- a baby's first sentence (her speech is very unclear, but I'm glad for her phrases and now a tiny sentence.)
- a baby with curls down her back
- pumpkin pie cooling on the stove
- laundry caught up
- turkey thawing in the fridge for Thursday
- a boy who recognizes negative peer pressure and tells me: "I don't want to act tough and stupid. I want to be sweet."
I'm not so sure pairing 3rd graders with 4-6th graders is a good idea. We're praying about what to do with AWANA. At this particular church, it's dominated by public-schooled kids who've lost innocence, sweetness, and respect (in the older class; younger classes are going well). We want our boys to have godly role models for how young men should behave. Yes, boys are wild at heart and I don't fight that--wouldn't want to fight God's design. But they don't have to be disrespectful and callous as well. What public school seems to do for older kids is to eliminate individuality and create a mob. God help those who don't fit the mold! Each child on his own might be quite nice, but in the mob, one only sees the "tough-and-unruly" act.
A nearby large church has a program similar to AWANA called Brigade (for boys). That church has a homeschooled population mixed with Christian-schooled and public-schooled kids. It might be an option when I have a vehicle (the car pick-up in PA didn't work out. There is a probate issue with the car that needs the attorney's attention and their office is just not getting to it.)
Meantime, we are praying about how long to keep the kids in AWANA--a once-beloved program. The teachers and helpers are wonderful, which makes the decision very difficult. The kids and I are praying for the teachers (and students), who are challenged and stressed by the behaviors they're encountering with the boys. The Scripture that stands out at me right now is this:
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
If it were just a couple boys, that would be easier to deal with. But it's most of the twenty. How long can I expect my son to stay on the fringe at his young age, and possibly be bullied? If he were in high school or college, I've no doubt he could handle it. But at eight years old, I think it's a lot to ask
Thursday, November 18, 2010
a hello
My baby hasn't been sleeping well enough to allow me any computer time this week. We'll see how things go tomorrow night. Hope all is well with you, friends!
Monday, November 15, 2010
the unexpected gift
Due to schedules, my husband and I can't enjoy much real conversation anymore. We aren't your typical, dad-arrives-home-at-6:00 p.m. household. This morning in the ten minutes I had to talk with my him, I explained that I'd had an unexpected crying episode the previous night. "Honey, I think I'm on the brink. I need two hours to myself."
In the good ole' days, he might have ministered to me or asked me what was going on, and then found the extra time to watch the kids. Now, since he's just as much "on the brink" as I am, he only looked at me seriously for a moment, and then mentally worked on carving out a couple hours.
He can usually study on Sunday night, but because of my little break today, he's still on the job at 11:00 p.m., the night before school. I would feel guilty about that if it weren't for my being so sure I needed a break. It did help.
Only God knows how long we'll be in our current situation. When a man loses a job in his fifties, it's a very serious situation--one I wouldn't wish on anyone. I know of a family who, in ten years, hasn't recovered, and they're exhausted. It would make me feel better to know that someone out there is gleaning something from all this sharing.
May I please offer something? If you're in your twenties, thirties, or forties, and you're regularly using credit cards (to replace broken items, for car repairs, for gifts or that much-needed weekend away, etc.) please remember this: You can never take a job for granted, no matter what industry it's in. God gives and he takes away. Live under your means (less house, less car, less of everything), save, tithe, and give thanks for what you have. Forget about how the Joneses live; they don't pay your bills.
God be my witness: If we ever get out of this, I'll do everything I can to minister to the working poor, in practical ways, like offering to be a taxi, watch their kids, help with resume distribution, buy household supplies or socks and underwear (can't get those at thrift stores). My mom bought the children some underclothes when she was here, thank the Lord.
The working poor live in a furiously busy, treading-water kind of way, always on the brink of exhaustion. No, it's nothing like abject poverty, but it is maddening. We're only surviving emotionally and spiritually because of God's grace. As our circumstances become more and more humbling, He becomes more and more important to us--to our very survival.
The Lord has taught me to recognize my urgent need for Him as a blessing. I'm thankful I can pass that knowledge on to my children, so they're not constantly wondering, "Why us, God?" At seven and nearly-nine years old, my boys understand the upside-down nature of God's kingdom. Praise God!
The friend who brought me to the Lord, Phyllis, suffered much in her life. Unable to conceive children, she adopted two as infants. Sixteen years later her husband committed suicide, causing painful rifts in the family. Her children have been distant and nasty over the years. Her daughter, now in her thirties and an alcoholic, just lost custody of her three children and may be facing a divorce, unless God delivers her from herself.
Phyllis' first grandchild, a baby boy, died of meningitis 12 years ago, which further alienated her son (the baby's father) from the Lord. Losing his father so horribly, and then his first child, was more than David could bare. He fell into drug use and got divorced. Only now is he interested in a relationship with his mother--but not yet with God. Her daughter, always angry at her mother, has no interest in the Lord, either.
As well, my friend does not have the gift of singleness, but the Lord has kept her single for some twenty years. Right now she is a short-term missionary in Africa--that being a lifelong dream. She worked two years in China just recently. After her husband's death, she went back to school to get a teaching credential, and has been retired now three years.
But, and you guessed it, my friend has a relationship with the Lord that surpasses any I've seen.
As much as someone may try, it's difficult to walk closely with the Lord when all health is good, work is good, children are good, the house and cars are good, and the marriage is good. Without desperation, we simply don't want much of God--at least not on a daily or hourly basis.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
In the good ole' days, he might have ministered to me or asked me what was going on, and then found the extra time to watch the kids. Now, since he's just as much "on the brink" as I am, he only looked at me seriously for a moment, and then mentally worked on carving out a couple hours.
He can usually study on Sunday night, but because of my little break today, he's still on the job at 11:00 p.m., the night before school. I would feel guilty about that if it weren't for my being so sure I needed a break. It did help.
Only God knows how long we'll be in our current situation. When a man loses a job in his fifties, it's a very serious situation--one I wouldn't wish on anyone. I know of a family who, in ten years, hasn't recovered, and they're exhausted. It would make me feel better to know that someone out there is gleaning something from all this sharing.
May I please offer something? If you're in your twenties, thirties, or forties, and you're regularly using credit cards (to replace broken items, for car repairs, for gifts or that much-needed weekend away, etc.) please remember this: You can never take a job for granted, no matter what industry it's in. God gives and he takes away. Live under your means (less house, less car, less of everything), save, tithe, and give thanks for what you have. Forget about how the Joneses live; they don't pay your bills.
God be my witness: If we ever get out of this, I'll do everything I can to minister to the working poor, in practical ways, like offering to be a taxi, watch their kids, help with resume distribution, buy household supplies or socks and underwear (can't get those at thrift stores). My mom bought the children some underclothes when she was here, thank the Lord.
The working poor live in a furiously busy, treading-water kind of way, always on the brink of exhaustion. No, it's nothing like abject poverty, but it is maddening. We're only surviving emotionally and spiritually because of God's grace. As our circumstances become more and more humbling, He becomes more and more important to us--to our very survival.
The Lord has taught me to recognize my urgent need for Him as a blessing. I'm thankful I can pass that knowledge on to my children, so they're not constantly wondering, "Why us, God?" At seven and nearly-nine years old, my boys understand the upside-down nature of God's kingdom. Praise God!
The friend who brought me to the Lord, Phyllis, suffered much in her life. Unable to conceive children, she adopted two as infants. Sixteen years later her husband committed suicide, causing painful rifts in the family. Her children have been distant and nasty over the years. Her daughter, now in her thirties and an alcoholic, just lost custody of her three children and may be facing a divorce, unless God delivers her from herself.
Phyllis' first grandchild, a baby boy, died of meningitis 12 years ago, which further alienated her son (the baby's father) from the Lord. Losing his father so horribly, and then his first child, was more than David could bare. He fell into drug use and got divorced. Only now is he interested in a relationship with his mother--but not yet with God. Her daughter, always angry at her mother, has no interest in the Lord, either.
As well, my friend does not have the gift of singleness, but the Lord has kept her single for some twenty years. Right now she is a short-term missionary in Africa--that being a lifelong dream. She worked two years in China just recently. After her husband's death, she went back to school to get a teaching credential, and has been retired now three years.
But, and you guessed it, my friend has a relationship with the Lord that surpasses any I've seen.
As much as someone may try, it's difficult to walk closely with the Lord when all health is good, work is good, children are good, the house and cars are good, and the marriage is good. Without desperation, we simply don't want much of God--at least not on a daily or hourly basis.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
Here is my handsome boy, displaying the finger Momma learned how to wrap. Praise God, the wound is flat again! As I was taking off the bandaid this morning, Peter smiled sheepishly, saying, "This kind of thing always makes me queasy." I could only give him a chuckle and a hug, telling him I'm the same way. I'll be so glad when this thing is completely healed!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)