a step backwards

My Peter is once again experiencing OCD symptoms while he reads.  As before, his brain is telling him he's skipping words.  In order to make that right, he repeats words and phrases about every other sentence, making reading a laborious chore, rather than a pleasure.  It's suddenly difficult to get him to read three chapters a day, whereas before he read two to three hours a day, depending on our event schedule.

He also suddenly tracks with his finger and reads aloud again--both of which he'd grown out of.  He tells me these things help him read all the words.  Despite my assurances that he's a great reader and no problems exist, he believes the voice in his head--at least while the book is in his hand.

Should this reading problem continue to arise, Peter will need OCD medication to get through college, if he chooses to obtain a degree.  The volume of required reading will simply be too much, if he has to plod along like a stuttering, beginning reader.

I'm wrestling with God over this, as I did last time.  It's so painful to witness. He's also washing his hands excessively again, making them chapped and prone to bleeding.  No new stresses have arisen here, so I can't attribute it to that.

I force myself to think of the Book of Job, when I'm plagued by the "Why, God?" question.  There is a purpose.  Maybe it's just the sin curse and nothing more, but that's too frustrating to consider.  I want to believe instead that something glorious awaits my son--as it did in Job's life.

After God's long talk with him, Job replied,

Job 42:2-6 "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you will answer me.'  My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.  Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." 

How does it end for Job?  

Job 42:10-11 After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.  All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house.  They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought upon him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. 

Job 42:12-13 The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first.  He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys.  And he also had seven sons and three daughters.

 Job 42:16-17 After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation.  And so he died, old and full of years.

I don't have the benefit of God's presence or of his tongue-lashing.  But I do know He feels the same way about my arrogant questioning.  It's simply not acceptable for the created to question the Creator.  


And so I dwell on Job's latter life.

Maybe it's not likely Peter will have fourteen thousand sheep (although...he does want to be a farmer).  But there will be something.  I can count on that.


Some blessing awaits my precious son.

outside my window....inside my heart

Thought you might enjoy the show God put on here the past couple days. 

Our eyes have been peeled to the window, looking for birdie friends, or squirrel friends.......

.....and God said yes!

Our first feathered friend?  A chickadee!  And, oh how pretty!   He's enjoying our peanut-butter-and-seed covered pinecone.

The best investment for kids' art is simple watercolors.  Oh, how I love thee.  Far less mess and fuss.  I can say yes every time!  

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While I nursed Beth to sleep last night, the others painted some happiness.  

Wednesday Gratitude:


- 50 high-quality kids' garments found at the thrift store early this morning, for only $69.00!  I had my stamp card completely filled out and got 35% off!

- The colors God put on a chickadee.

- The tail talk that squirrels do.  Have you ever seen it in earnest?  Quite amazing!

- Trees full of squirrels

- My boys understand that though nature, we experience God.  My girls are learning it more every day.

- I came home with three large bags of clothes and my husband was just happy that the kids were happy.  He didn't ask about the cost.  He knows it would have been a small fortune from a retail store.

- The exclamations of delight around here lately, and the scientific note-taking Peter is engaged in, about bird and squirrel behaviours.

- Little girl squeals about pretty clothes.

- A 40-degree day today, and an expected 60-degree day later this week.

- Homeschooling

- Very few illnesses in the past nine months.  I have to wonder...is it because I started cooking from scratch, for the most part?  Whatever the reason, it's sure a blessing!  (The whole foods didn't help with ADHD, unfortunately.)

- I don't have my own car, but I do have a yard!

- Reminders from Him that I'm to bless my family and practice self-denial.  Therein will be my mothering legacy, if I'm faithful to the Holy Spirit's whispers.

- Yet still, knowing that His grace surrounds me.

- Reminders from Him that I'm to bless my husband, whether the trash gets taken out or not.  And should I mention the trash?  No.  Just love.  Just do love.  It's an endless series of actions, done to bless God, regardless of whether the receiver deserves the love action.  Did we deserve the cross, after all?

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

—Philippians 1: 9-11

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

—1 Peter 4:8 

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not love abides in death.

—1 John 3:14

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

—1 John 4:7-21 

new screen guidelines

A couple weeks ago my sister, who is going through teacher education courses, sent us a few learning websites her professor spoke about.  One of them, this math site, has created quite the obsession in my number lovin' Paul.  This intensive focus isn't a healthy thing, so I've set new guidelines for our family regarding screen time.

On Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday, we won't turn on the computer at all, starting this morning.

I just wanted to tip you off, because I won't be able to return e-mails as timely, or write as often.

Good Tuesday to you!

I'm a liar

Okay, husband made a liar out of me this Valentine's Day.  He brought home 12 ounces of Ghirardelli Luxe Milk Chocolate for me, which he found at Walgreens on the way home....before midnight even!

I usually eat semi-sweet baking chocolate, so this is tasting devilishly good.

I'm sure I'll regret it.

Weekend doings and Happy Valentine's Day

Saturday morning found us making bird feeders for our backyard.  The kids spread peanut butter on pine cones, then we rolled them in black oil sunflower seeds or cornmeal.  We tied string tightly around the center of the pine cones and hung them from our trees.

Do yourself a favor:  Do this in the morning in pajamas.  Who needs an extra outfit change?

We also cut large circle holes on two sides of milk jugs (you'll find raised circles already on the jugs).  Next, we made two small holes right below the larger ones, and threaded a stick through these two small holes, for a perch.  You can also use wooden dowels.  Lastly, we tied a string around the top of the jug, securing it there by putting the lid back on.  You'll find a far better explanation and a diagram here.

We placed a small amount of seed in each one to start.  It usually takes a couple weeks for birds to find new feeders, and I didn't want new snow soaking a lot of seed before we even had visitors.

We've made three milk jug feeders so far, placing one in the front yard and two in the side yard.

Next up, egg carton feeders.  We will cut the top off of an egg carton, use a hole punch to punch one hole in each of the four corners, tie a string to each hole, and then tie the four strings together at the top.  Lastly, add seed to each egg compartment, and tie to a tree.

None of these are weather resistant, of course.  The birds will appreciate them nonetheless--especially in winter--and you'll earn yourself some regular visitors.

You can also spread peanut butter on a paper towel roll, roll it in seed, thread a string through the center, and tie it to a tree.

While you're waiting for birds to find your goodies, put stale bread all over your yard.  It might help them come sooner.

The kids looked outside all three windows every few minutes, waiting for birds--taking breaks for all manner of silliness in the playroom.

 My girlies helped me make cornbread on Saturday and again today.  I keep my recipes in a back bedroom to cut down on counter clutter.  Beth, upon hearing me say we're making cornbread again, rushed to the bedroom, grabbed a recipe and brought it to me.  It happened to be the right one, since it was the last one we used.  I had no idea she even knew where the recipes were, or that she paid much attention to my following them when she helped.  She continues to delight me!

Yes, Miss Mary did put her dress on backwards.  :)

We were all delighted this morning to find that our resident squirrels found the teaser bread and seed we put out.  They fought over it and put on quite the show!

The boys seemed to have lost interest in helping with recipes.  My girls are still faithful, though. It makes me smile to have them along side me!  That is, until they spontaneously decide to add water to the mixing bowl--from Momma's water bottle!  I'm learning to never turn my back on the mixing bowl!

Nice paintings produced this Valentine's Day.

 Also this last Saturday, the older kids did a Valentine craft offered at a nature center.  It was difficult--actually making my Paul cry tears of frustration--but they sure are pretty!

These were formed from tissue paper wrapped in pipe cleaners, which were then poked into those spongy flower thingys, and wrapped with foil.)

Valentine's Day gratitude:

- for our penpals, who blessed the socks off my kids with an awesome care package, and delighted me with my own copy of Ann's book!  If only these kids would let me read it!  I haven't been able to get past chapter one (which was a magnificent chapter).


- for hearing my nine year old talk to his stuffed animals as he was placing them on his bed this morning

- for the sparkling delight in my children's eyes, as they found their Valentine bears and their small boxes of chocolate.

- for hearing a thousand times between Saturday and today, "When will the birds come, Mommy?"  I know the longer it takes, the more delighted we'll be when our first feeder friends visit.  We've seen a flicker in one tree and a blue jay in another, but they didn't see our feeders!

- for this luscious honey cornbread and navy bean soup and chili to go with it, these past few days

- for that husband of mine, who keeps meaning to buy me something for Valentine's Day, and for Christmas, and for my birthday.  :) I think it's been a good five years since he's gotten around to any gifts.  Neither of us has gifts as a love language, so I find it amusing more than anything else.  Few people hate shopping as much as my hubby does.  This probably seems strange to some, but no significance comes from gifts--other than thankfulness--if they aren't your love language.

- for God's faithfulness in growing me.  He has spoken to my heart about being faithful in the small things, like performing the chores I don't care for, in order to bless my family.  Now that my littlest one is more independent, and I'm not overwhelmed every second, it's time for some serious spiritual growth.  I feel God moving in my heart.  And I'm so glad He times his lessons so as not to discourage us!  Even two months ago, I wouldn't have been able to receive, willingly, these current lessons.


I hope you got blessed today, friends, in one way or another.  :)   Happy Valentine's Day!

I am blessed by your friendship!