a step backwards

My Peter is once again experiencing OCD symptoms while he reads.  As before, his brain is telling him he's skipping words.  In order to make that right, he repeats words and phrases about every other sentence, making reading a laborious chore, rather than a pleasure.  It's suddenly difficult to get him to read three chapters a day, whereas before he read two to three hours a day, depending on our event schedule.

He also suddenly tracks with his finger and reads aloud again--both of which he'd grown out of.  He tells me these things help him read all the words.  Despite my assurances that he's a great reader and no problems exist, he believes the voice in his head--at least while the book is in his hand.

Should this reading problem continue to arise, Peter will need OCD medication to get through college, if he chooses to obtain a degree.  The volume of required reading will simply be too much, if he has to plod along like a stuttering, beginning reader.

I'm wrestling with God over this, as I did last time.  It's so painful to witness. He's also washing his hands excessively again, making them chapped and prone to bleeding.  No new stresses have arisen here, so I can't attribute it to that.

I force myself to think of the Book of Job, when I'm plagued by the "Why, God?" question.  There is a purpose.  Maybe it's just the sin curse and nothing more, but that's too frustrating to consider.  I want to believe instead that something glorious awaits my son--as it did in Job's life.

After God's long talk with him, Job replied,

Job 42:2-6 "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you will answer me.'  My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.  Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." 

How does it end for Job?  

Job 42:10-11 After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.  All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house.  They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought upon him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. 

Job 42:12-13 The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first.  He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys.  And he also had seven sons and three daughters.

 Job 42:16-17 After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation.  And so he died, old and full of years.

I don't have the benefit of God's presence or of his tongue-lashing.  But I do know He feels the same way about my arrogant questioning.  It's simply not acceptable for the created to question the Creator.  


And so I dwell on Job's latter life.

Maybe it's not likely Peter will have fourteen thousand sheep (although...he does want to be a farmer).  But there will be something.  I can count on that.


Some blessing awaits my precious son.