thanks with my whole heart

Psalm 9:1-2
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

Wednesday Gratitude

I am thankful for:

- a sweet toddler who softly caresses my face when she's asleep (or half asleep) at night.

- four months without colds.  This current cold, and its affect on my toddler, reminds me of the grace we were given this winter.  Dealing with an angry, high-needs ADHD/OCD child by day, and a sick toddler by night, would have done me in.  Oh, Heavenly Father, I love you.  Thank you!

- a husband who kisses me goodbye and whispers, "I'm praying for you."

- The day after Miss Beth's first toss-and-turn night, I woke up sicker and feeling punchy--no patience.  By 9:30 AM, Peter had asked me ten times when the goldfinches would come back to the feeder.  He doesn't mean to annoy--just has little ability to delay gratification.  My husband was due to leave at lunch time.  I said, "Honey, I think I need to check out a Curious George movie, and a Barney for Miss Beth, to get through this day."  I left five minutes later, on my way to the library I swore I'd never go to again--the one that charges  $.50/day for each overdue item.  It happens to be the only library with Curious George and Barney movies.  I checked out Campfire Songs Barney, filmed twenty-one years ago, and Curious George Goes Green.  We've been happily singing long-forgotten campfire songs for two days.  I love that Barney is mostly songs, all of which we love.  I also love Curious George, and cuddling with my kids while we watch it.  Being sick (occasionally) can be a blessing.  It gives Momma permission to give up on chores (though there's always dishes and laundry) and just enjoy relaxing with the kids.

- crockpots

- frozen fruit, steamed frozen veggies (I know, I say this a lot, but they do make things easier for busy Momma's!)

- the Book of Isaiah

- Psalms

- Proverbs

- listening to children pray

- hot chocolate

- green grass (I promise I won't complain about the very dark skies here, and all the rain and mud)

- seventy-degree weather predicted later this week

- a long forgotten Hershey bar in my purse, still safe in its complete wrapping (No, I did not eat it in the bathroom, savouring its stress-relieving properties.  What Momma doesn't share a Hershey bar with her brood?)

- a woodpecker walking backwards all the way down our tree, on his way to the suet.

- a squirrel hanging by his tail, enjoying a peanut butter/birdseed pinecone.  What will they do next? :)

- a female goldfinch came to the feeder today (Praise God!)

- a boy in love with birds--and spiritual enough to give thanks to God for them ("Dear Lord, thank you for the goldfinch.  May I see the male goldfinch later today.")

- a house full of very small things to pick up while vacuuming (lightbright pegs, lacing jewels, pegboard pegs, Paul's popcorn kernels, Peter's birdseed)

- the strength to vacuum today

- dishes done early, before anyone's bedtime

- propping myself against a pillow and holding Beth nearly upright in my arms, so she could sleep and breathe at the same time.  Holding her for so long felt soooo good, even though it was four in the morning and she had tossed and turned most of the night)

Is there a saint in your house?

Let me first say that I'm not Catholic and I don't believe in Sainthood.

But I did have this thought this morning:

If your husband ever says to you, "Honey, I know you've taken care of our sick toddler for two nights--sleeping only a couple of hours in the process--and that you're exhausted, and sick.  Tonight, I will take the nighttime duty, so you can get better."

If you ever hear that, I suggest you contact the powers that be in Rome and put in a Sainthood application for your husband.

Mine did not utter the above, but he did look up to the heavens and says, "God, please have mercy on my wife!"

Thankfully, my nurturing instinct is strong enough to withstand nighttime colds in little ones.  Thank you, Lord, for a mother's love!  I praise you!

ear infections and antibiotic controversy

Parents out there, I have something for you to read about ear infections and antibiotics.  It's an easy read, but it is a bit long.  Nonetheless, I think every parent should read it.

80% of all ear infections clear up on their own.  Back in 2004, new guidelines were given to doctors regarding the treatment of ear infections. The article below lists the guidelines.  I think it's important to be familiar with them.

Despite these new guidelines, American doctors still over prescribe antibiotics for ear infections, at alarming rates.

Why?

I believe they want and need parents to like them, in order to have a thriving practice.  If they follow conservative guidelines, they risk gaining a reputation for rarely giving out antibiotics, and consequently, too many parents would avoid their practice.  When babies and toddlers are screaming in the night and waking frequently, parents want answers and treatment, usually in the form of antibiotics.  Doctors feel compelled to acquiesce.  Also, it would take too long to explain why a prescription isn't needed.  Time is money.

Today Peter went to the doctor for a routine ADHD check up, to obtain another prescription for his Strattera.  The doctor always gives him a complete physical exam at these appointments.  He looked in Peter's ears and found infection in the right one.  I said that Peter was three days into a mild cold.  Doc asked Peter if there was any pain, and Peter said no. Doctor was surprised at that.

He wrote a prescription anyway!

I am not going to fill the prescription, unless Peter develops severe symptoms after three days.  If he remains symptomless, I will have his ear rechecked at his next ADHD check up, in two months.

I learned that children over 4 tend to get asymptomatic ear infections--no pain or fussiness or fever.  Often it isn't known that an infection is present until a child fails a school hearing test, due to fluid behind the eardrum.

Last December I took Paul, my seven year old, in for a flu shot.  Doctor checked him over first and found an ear infection, which either started because of allergies, or from a cold in late November, or both.  Again, there was no pain or symptoms.  Doctor wrote a prescription, and I filled it. I had little experience with ear infections.  My kids aren't prone to them, so I never had to do any homework.

In January I took Paul for his yearly check-up, and to get the flu shot he couldn't get in December, due to being put on antibiotics.  Clear fluid was present--not infected.  The doctor put him on the same antibiotic, saying it would probably clear up the fluid.  My husband and I were scratching our heads.  With no infection present, why another round of drugs?

However, we filled it, because the doctor explained that Paul would have to get ear tubes if the fluid did not clear up by three to four months from onset. It had been nearly two months since the initial infection. We figured the doctor must have reason for believing that antibiotics would clear up fluid. We wanted to avoid surgery at all costs.

Well, we went back in March to have the fluid checked.  It was still there! Clear, not infected.  Paul had failed a hearing test at his yearly check-up (Jan), and again in March at this appointment, due to the fluid.  The doctor gave us a referral to an ENT.  The appointment is in late April.  I plan to fight the use of tubes, based on my research, especially if the fluid is still clear and not gel like.  The hearing difficulty is not an issue in terms of Paul's learning, and I feel the fluid will drain on its own when the weather is warmer.  Fluid tends to hang around longer in the winter months.

They now know that even in very young children, the tubes don't improve speech and language development, as was thought for many years. They also don't decrease the number of infections, necessarily.  Ear tubes, like antibiotics, are overused in America.  Having them put in causes scarring, which is a factor in long-term hearing loss in kids who need them more than once.

It is true that chronic ear infections can also cause scarring, but ear infections tend to become chronic when antibiotics are overused!  Ear infections treated with pain relief, and no antibiotics, clear up with fewer complications than those treated with antibiotics.

And studies show that treating with antibiotics only decreases pain by one day, compared to not treating with antibiotics.

I feel angry that I wasn't given better information.  I wouldn't have filled any prescriptions, had I known these guidelines, given by the AAP back in 2004!  The information is still current today.

Doctors:  Skip Antibiotics for Child Ear Infections - shorter article
Dr.Greene.com - Antibiotics and Ear Infections - new guidelines

When the enemy threatens your day, take it back!

Peter had plans this morning.  Big, glorious plans.  He'd made eight dollars in chore money over the last two months--enough to buy another bird feeder.  Plexiglass, he told us, like Mr. Joe's.

Our neighbour, Mr. Joe, has a very popular bird feeder.  Birds make quick work of the seed, emptying it in 36 hours.  Peter naturally reasoned that if he had a plexiglass feeder, we'd get more birds.  And if not, "do you think we could ask Mr. Joe to stop filling his?  He's stealing all the birds."

"Peter!  Of course we can't ask that.  There are plenty of birds to go around."

I turn away, hiding my smile.  I know I should be dismayed by his selfishness, but somehow, I'm not.  The boy loves his birds.  Loves them! He checks his feeding station a good fifty times a day, praying to see this or that bird.

Daddy awakens.  The plan is to quickly go to Walmart for the bird feeder, then back home so Daddy can leave for work.  He has seventeen hours of work to do between Friday night and Sunday night, and he arranges his schedule based upon the family's needs, as much as possible.

Peter gets dressed and ready.  He's as excited as a baby toddling across the room for the first time.  He worked hard for the money, and now, his prize is within reach.

But Daddy can't find his glasses.  Peter can't find Daddy's glasses. Mommy can't find them, nor Paul, nor Mary.

Slowly, Daddy unravels.  He utters his favorite line: "I'm so glad there'll be no glasses in Heaven!"

Peter takes it well for the first fifteen minutes, then he unravels.  He's as mad as a coach yelling at a referee over a really bad call.

My own stress level climbs, as it always does when Daddy or Peter unravel. Their anger, fueled by a low frustration threshold, is rarely directed at any of us.

Nonetheless, it steals our peace.

Fifty minutes pass, and no glasses.  I stop looking, deciding my time is better spent keeping Miss Beth and Miss Mary out of trouble.  With their help, I get breakfast on the table.

After clearing the table, I ask husband if I can get in the shower (as in, will he keep Beth alive for me?).  He says yes, and I enjoy the relative solitude of the bathroom, asking the Lord to help me take back the day.

I say relative solitude because someone always finds reason to enter the bathroom when I'm showering, to check up on me or give me commentary.

While I enjoy the water, husband finds his glasses on the floor at the foot of the bed.

Peter, relieved he can get the feeder, doesn't quite recover his equilibrium. He's punchy.

Husband is aggravated at the unexpected change of plans. Now, he will not be able to get all his work done before night church, necessitating going out again, to clean one more bank, after church.

They proceed to Walmart, also picking up bike tire paraphenialia, to fix both boys' tires.

Once home, Peter fills his feeder immediately, and will Daddy please hang it?  And Paul wonders if his tire can be fixed today?

The day already shot, or so it seems, Daddy decides to do these things before leaving.

Nothing goes smoothly.  Time passes.  Angers resurges, escalates.

My own resolve to stay calm amidst the storm, falters.  But the Holy Spirit whispers.  Call them to get their Bibles, and open to Isaiah. 

I quickly clear the lunch things, and call Mary and the boys to the table for Bible reading and prayer.  Miss Beth hangs out a few minutes coloring, then wonders around, sometimes watching the birds.

Daddy is outside, working on bike tires.

"What Psalm are we on?", Peter asks as he opens his Bible.

Not Psalms this time, I say.  This is an extra, emergency devotional time, to get our joy back from the Enemy.  

I open in prayer.

Turn to Isaiah 51.

Why I said 51, I don't know.  It just came out.

Excerpts from Isaiah 51:1-11:

The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD.  Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.

Lift up your eyes to the heavens, look at the earth beneath; the heavens will vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment and its inhabitants die like flies. But my salvation will last forever, my righteousness will never fail.

Awake, awake! Clothe yourself with strength, O arm of the LORD; awake, as in days gone by, as in generations of old. Was it not you who cut Rahab to pieces, who pierced that monster through? Was it not you who dried up the sea, the waters of the great deep, who made a road in the depths of the sea so that the redeemed might cross over?  

The ransomed of the LORD will return.  They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

Daddy enters halfway through, and grabbing his sandwich, he joins us.  He gives us commentary on the history contained in the verses.

He closes us in prayer.


And then I hear it.  His heart.

It isn't the glasses, or the bike pump, or the tires, or hanging Peter's feeder. Or even getting a later start with his work.

He wants more time with his family. He wants at least one day off a week--one entire day.  He pleads with the Lord for that, and for a better job, and for time to study for certifications, or for a computer internship--all things that still elude him.

Husband has been reading Ann's book, intermittently, as I've left it on the end table, or on the computer desk.  He's fighting the concepts, I can tell. I haven't mentioned that I know he peeks at it.  I don't want to spoil the work of the Holy Spirit.

He wants to be grateful, thankful, but it's foreign to him.

Ann lost her little sister years ago--her blood splattered on their gravel driveway by a delivery truck driver.  Grief shattered the family, and Ann, for years.

It never occurred to me that he would pick up the book and be intrigued.  It's the Holy Spirit.

Husband lost his mother at sixteen, her blood splattered by a truck driver on a Delaware country rode.  His life didn't turn out well, though he loves us, his family. He is grateful for us.

All the rest is hard, as it was for Ann.

She started with a list.  A list of everyday gifts, everyday blessings.  And through her list, she found more than thankfulness.  Thanks-giving bore fruit--joy, peace, freedom from fear, a heart to give back, and profound intimacy with the Lord.

I want all that, and more, for my husband.

May it be so, Lord.

parenting through Him

I wanted to take some time to thank you, Terri, for praying about the reading issue!  Many times I've found that after posting about a difficulty in our lives, the issue resolves itself in a few days time.  When this happens, it always makes me wonder if someone out there has prayed.  Thank you!  I appreciate you!

My Peter made a miraculous recovery! (wink)  He still had symptoms, but not so bothersome.

It wasn't a particularly nice day; we had wind and temps in the forties.  But my grace for today--husband was gone 9:30 AM - 6:00 PM--was the hour the older ones spent outside playing football and using tennis rackets and balls.  I liked seeing them so happy--so blessed by each other.

The boredom issue came up later--like last Saturday--probably because they don't do school on the weekends.  Again, I told the Lord that I didn't want any videos or computer on.

"Help me, Lord!  I'll do whatever you say."

Now, I don't like board games.  Don't ask me why, though maybe it's the sitting and waiting?  When someone suggests a board game, I've always inwardly rolled my eyes.  "Must we?", I'd think to myself.

Lately, God hasn't let me get away with that.  He reminds me that parenting, at its best, is sacrificial.  That means not doing what we want to do, and doing what we don't want to do.

So I found myself playing "Go to the Head of the Class", a game I highly recommend.

There are two dice in the game.  The red one you roll to find out which of the six subject categories your question will come from.  The black die is rolled to move your player once you've correctly answered your question. The questions are wonderful opportunities to challenge your kids, and cement their learning in mathematics, language, history, geography, science, and art and music.  Since there are three levels of difficulty (student, scholar, graduate), there are plenty of questions parents are challenged by as well.  It's marketed as a whole-family game.  The recommended age is 7+, but when four-year-old Mary plays, I make up her questions myself and she's perfectly happy with this.  The questions are numbered and in order of difficulty, but you don't have to go in order; I peruse the list in each category until I find a question that is challenging for my children, but reasonable.

Over the last several weeks, as I've played more board games, I've realized how good they are for my children.  Children need to learn how to win and lose with grace, how to joyfully let someone else go first, how to take it in stride when they fail at something.  Social skills are taught by parents, not by other children or by teachers (teachers don't have time, truthfully).

By the way, this is precisely why I feel the whole socialization and homeschooling issue is ridiculous.  Just being among peers doesn't teach social skills!  Often, it teaches mob mentality instead--especially when you consider that on the playground, in the lunch room, and on the bus, no adult has time to listen to every conversation, or monitor every aspect of a game or activity.

Anyhow, I've come to feel that few arenas are as good as family board games, in teaching children many of these skills.

I had a great time and the rewards for obeying my Lord, as usual, were many fold!  When I parent my children through Him, and not in my own strength or wisdom, I'm always at peace--and my children are as well!