blessings

Counting blessings:


I am thankful for...


...Beth taking to the steroid eye drops fairly well. There are so many doses and coupled with her two other medicines (one other eyedrop 1x day, and the 2x day naproxen) and everyone's vitamins, and Peter's medicine, and cream after bathing to control eczema, and lip balm to control Mary's winter lip issues, and you've got one very overwhelmed mother who's constantly wondering what she forgot. 


...the sweet letters my boys wrote to two children, ages 4 and 8, who lost their home in a fire Wednesday night. We received the news from our homeschool group, and as I gathered things they needed, the boys wrote letters. Today we'll make cookies and put together simple stocking gifts. 


Dear Christian and Carlos,


How are you? I am good. The fire must have been scary. I am sorry. Jesus loves you and he will take care of you. Did you know that angels are all around you? My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


Love,
Peter


...frequent grace rainings. Typically, when the eye inflammation follows closely after the initial Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis, the prognosis is worse for the eyes. Eye problems often don't show up for years. Of those affected, the statistics are that 30% to 40% experience profound vision loss and 12% lose their sight entirely. Also, the steroid drugs used to treat the inflammation can cause glaucoma. Beth will know joy in her life through Christ and those who love her, but the thought of her not seeing her babies clearly or at all, profoundly saddens me. The children and chores and school keep me in the present 80% of the time, but there are times, like when I'm trying to sleep, that my mind still wanders to the what ifs. God knows my mind will do this no matter how strong my faith is. He meets my needs by reminding me of his abundant graces throughout the day. I call them grace rainings. 


...Beth's eye doctor, who is a renowned pediatric ophthalmologist. He has published extensive articles and in 1999, he helped developed a treatment for congenital nystagmus. Patients from all over the world travel to the vision center he works for. He happens to work at the same children's hospital Beth's rheumatologist works for. Praise God!


I wish I could write more, but life is so much busier now. Have a blessed weekend! And please let me know how I can pray for your family?

Your Task For Today: A Beauty Search

Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of our wedding photos, I'm caught by the naivete on our faces. Do you know why we were free and happy on that day? And why all parents are giddy at the birth of their babies?

It's the hope of tomorrow. In the majority of cases, nothing touches that hope on these glorious days. Brides and grooms and new moms and dads can get drunk on the hope--it's that plentiful.

The eye doctor told me today: "We're not going to think about her whole childhood right now. I won't do that to you or to me. We'll take it one appointment at a time." He said it nicely, but I knew not to ask any further questions right then, especially since my whole crew was along listening.

But tonight, I just had to know. What is the prognosis really? What is he not telling me? I can accept it, but I have to know.

Husband is angry and he doesn't want to know. I don't tell him most of what I learn, because it just makes him angrier, which I know is normal for many men. He just wants his little girl healed. Right now!

The real truth is, 12% of JIA patients will go blind. In the 1950's it was 50%. Because of early detection, it's now possible to do somewhat better than the 12%. But even if everything is done right, some children don't respond to treatment. They go blind.

What do I do with that 12% statistic? If she's already falling into the low percentages, what reason do I have to hope?

The Holy Spirit whispered it and you know what I'm about to type.


Your hope isn't here...remember? It's in heaven.

Hard to accept? Yes, unless you are Dana and your son gets crushed to death by a dresser. Or you are Shannon and you know your two children will absolutely die between 10 and 18 years old, or sooner. And in the meantime they will lose all their skills and need maximum assistance.

It wasn't hard for Gitzen Girl, who recently died from Ankylosing Spondylitis, an autoimmune arthritis much worse than Beth's. Despite being confined to bed and dealing with incredible daily pain, Gitzen Girl chose joy. 

Once you lose your innocence, you understand. Our hope isn't here. That's why kids go blind and some get crushed by dressers. And why some women want a baby desperately, but can never have one. God knows the plans he has for us in the heavenly realms. That's why he can allow these things to happen.

I've lost my innocence too, but God prepared me for this day. I know how to pass my days from now until eternity. Some of the lessons come from the Holy Spirit's whispers in my own life, and some come from Ann's life.

Search for the beauty in today. God has planted blessing everywhere for our good pleasure. All his careful plantings? They're my grace and your grace. Give thanks for each piece of beauty....today. That's how we pass our time here. Counting blessings. Giving thanks. Today.

Wondering about tomorrow? It's like Peter taking his eyes off the Lord and falling into the water.

By the third dose of steroid drops today, Beth was a screaming mess, refusing to open her eyes. I couldn't get a full dose in, after twenty minutes of high-level stress.

But I'm going to bed now. Tomorrow is God's, not mine. And that means those steroid drops and my daughter's compliance are His too.

My hope doesn't lie in eye drops or in doctors.

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Prayer For Beth, Please?

I sent his out to the prayer team for Beth. Please pray for her? Thank you!

Hello,

We went to the eye doctor today to make sure Beth's eyes are not affected by the arthritis. We were expecting a good report because only 1 in 5 children with her type of arthritis have eye problems. 

She is the 1 in 5. There is inflammation in her eyes associated with chronic iridocyclitis. She has to have two different eye drops administered, one of which is a steroid given every two hours during the day and at night if she is awake already. After one month, he will see her again and evaluate the inflammation. He said we take it one step at a time, but the prognosis is good because we caught it early.

I am learning that the statement: "The prognosis is good" is just something they say to keep parents from crying in their offices.

Please pray that she will take well to the drops and that this part of the disease goes away quickly. If not handled properly this can lead to glaucoma, scars, cataracts and even blindness. The doctor assured me he would do everything he has to do to keep this from affecting her vision.

My husband and I feel like we're in a boxing ring with God and we just go knocked out. (The disease in her knees is still not responding to the naproxen.)

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I know that His grace is sufficient and I am happy to have his power rest on our family. We just need a break in the bad news.

Thank you!

Coming Before His Presence With Thanksgiving

Psalm 95:1-6
"O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also. The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land. O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker."

I am thankful for...

...this passage I highlighted in Ephesians (2:6-7): "And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show us the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus."  When things seem heavy it's time to read these Scriptural reminders. Our time on earth is so short compared to eternity. Heaven is forever. Perfection is forever; the brokenness of earth is fleeting.  Dwelling on hardship and pain only weakens us as workers for Christ Jesus. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesian 2:10)  We must reset our gaze on heaven and get to work for God. 


When everything is going well it's harder to comprehend the concept that things are fleeting here. We want to hold on to our success and our personal empire, for we've deceived ourselves into thinking we're a self-made wonder. I have one child for whom everything comes easily. He struggles with pride and it's understandably hard for him to remember that even the inner workings of his brain are a gift from God, and not of himself. I've seen his ego puff up when his brother struggles with something. Of course boys are competitive, but pride is dangerous. Self-esteem is the world's buzzword. God's buzzword is self-denial. We are most foolish when we fail to bow down before Our King and say "Thank you; I am your servant." (Every child presents unique parenting challenges!)

...watching my children perform puppet shows at the library on Sunday afternoons.

...that Sunday afternoons at the library led to Sunday night Family Movie-Popcorn Night, which allows us to relax together in one room. As parents of four we rarely rest and I love just sitting down and holding one of my children on my lap, or having my husband hold me, while we enjoy some wholesome entertainment together. Simple family traditions bond us together, but when wiggly babies and toddlers are around, it's harder to set up relaxing family time. We've arrived at a time when everyone can sit still for a 30-minute kid movie.

Dinner and devotions are the most valuable tradition, but there are many others that bind us. What are some of your weekly family traditions?

...the postman bringing some new clothes for the girls' birthdays--gifts from Grandma. Beth was born Dec. 8 and Mary was born Dec. 14. The girls (and the boys) have tiny waists and rarely does anything fit unless I pick it myself, unfortunately, but grandmas love to send clothes.

Shortly after we lost our first baby a friend told us about a dream he had, in which we had a Christmas baby. He believed it was a message from the Lord. He was almost right; Mary was given a December 25th due date. According to the ovulation schedule this was correct, but she came 11 days early. (I had them all early.) Just a neat fact that will delight Mary some day.

...my boys, who never run out of things to do on rainy days.

...first-time library cards for Peter and Paul, who left the library feeling like proud young men, with their very own computer receipts tucked into their pockets.

...this gingerbread pancake recipe Jess shared.

...the Bible, which never stops speaking truth into us, via the Holy Spirit. Without regular readings it's easy to struggle and fall in this life. The Word is the wisdom that keeps us on track. Why forgo this wisdom and blessing? Remember the hardest part? Opening your Bible. Just go right now and do it. Open your Bible and be freshly blessed. Mark and date what blesses you.

...children who love and appreciate their Daddy for his hard work and hard play.

...a note from Peter. On the outside it says, "Open this note." And on the inside it says, "Dear Mom, This is a gift to you from Peter, Mary, and Paul. Thank you for your hard work." 

I hate to say it, but I think the timing of this note has to do with my unattractive complaining on Saturday that the kids don't appreciate all the laundry work I do. They throw barely-worn clothes around, leaving piles here and there.

...the children's Christmas book Silent Night: The Song and Its Story, by Margaret Hodges, with beautiful paintings by Tim Ladwig. What a lovely story about the writing and first singing of this classic Christmas carol.

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...the cute Christmas book Fletcher and the Snowflake Christmas, by Julia Rawlinson. Throughout the reading, I raved to the children about the painted illustrations. I found the artist's depiction of a frost over the land quite beautiful.

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The Power of Story

On the verge of hormonal tears and desperate for some uninterrupted slumber, I didn't start the day well. Hours of baking the previous day stole our straightening-up time. I awoke to runaway clutter. The nail in the coffin came when my ADHD child awoke mouthy, impulsive, and ungrateful.


He never repented.


Continued defiance resulted in a park trip--which he'd looked forward to all day--being stripped from him. Exercise of any form is only taken away as a last resort.


Hell hath no fury like an ADHD child who just lost a privilege. The anger is ugly and scary and the whole family suffers the fight or flight response. With each occurrence I'm certain prison awaits my son--a place many ADHD people end up, due to their deadly anger.


The last thing I wanted today was alone time with Peter--especially a furious Peter.


Months have gone by with no break for me (as I define a break). Thrift store trips every six weeks or so used to be my alone-time treat. There's been no money for that so on the weekends I catch up on chores while the family goes to the park for a few hours--weather permitting. This arrangement is as close to a break as I can do right now. (A family outing, perhaps to the library, occurs on another weekend day.)


This may not seem like the best choice for my time--remaining at home instead of getting out--but battling clutter and crumbs and dirt is necessary for my sanity. The family claims they don't care about the house, but studies show runaway clutter affects all of us.


I live this truth. Frequent straightening by Momma and the crew helps defeat the clutter blues, but any special project throws things awry.


After I convinced my husband that Momma and son were not going to battle 'til death, the family left for the park, leaving Peter and me alone.


I stayed near the door for a bit to keep him from running down the street, shouting and chasing the van. Yes, his adrenalin can get that bad, but less often now that he's approaching ten.


After a time, he stopped shouting and collapsed in a post-adrenalin slump, exhausted.


But ready to talk.


Why doesn't Paul struggle with anger? How does he always controls himself? It's not fair! I hate ADHD! I'm worthless. And Paul hates me because I bully him. He only plays with me because I bug him, not because he loves me. I hate my life! I don't want to do these things, but I can't calm down!


First let me say, these two brothers compete furiously and have jealousies, but they love each other and need each other and in the end, they know they're blessed by brotherhood. They're best friends.


The real tragedy for an ADHD sufferer is the effect they have on others. Unfortunately, they annoy in a way that leaves family members living with a fingernail screeching down a chalkboard for hours a day. They can sense their effect on people, sometimes, but they can't stop. The slightest thing makes their emotions go awry and everyone is held captive. When they have a bad day on top of your bad day, you must refuse to engage, early on. You have to be perfect to handle it perfectly, and none of us fit that description. So life is messy.


Grace abounds, but sometimes we still hate that life is this messy.


When someone doesn't like their afflictions--and we all have afflictions--only one thing works. The power of story.


Every significant thing that happens to us from the time we leave the womb, makes up telling pieces of our story. The riveting plot always revolves around one thing.....sin.


Our parents sin in some way that scars us. We carry that scar--becoming a Christian doesn't always erase the effects of sin--to our own marriages, hoping to heal the wounds from our childhood, through each other.


It never works.


God can redeem the marriage and bless it, as he did my own, but deep hurts still bring hardship and pain through tragic turns in our story. They weaken and deplete us, making it harder to reach our ideals, even if we understand the hurts and forgive them.


The dysfunction continues in another generation to some extent, and coupled with that, illness and disease, both mental and physical, weave their way into our stories.


Who sinned the first sin to cause a particular family line to suffer?


Adam and Eve. No generation escapes.


Sound depressing?


It would be, except for God. God uses story. He redeems our stories for His glory.


How did I comfort my son? By telling someone else's story, including the part where God brings people to himself through someone's incredible suffering and faith. I told him the story of ten-year-old Eva who suffered cruelly at the hands of her father, who selfishly abandoned her. She nearly died a frightening AIDS death, alone.


Eva was rescued by Compassion workers from her child development center. Having learned her whereabouts, they hired an ambulance and took her to the hospital, where she spent three months slowly improving. The doctors agreed to let her go home.


Not long after, she died, professing Jesus as her Lord.


Eva contracted AIDS from her late birth mother. She didn't ask for that tragic beginning, and she didn't ask for all the illnesses she constantly battled. She didn't ask to be taken away from the Compassion workers, who showed her the only love she'd ever known. She didn't ask for a horrible father, or for horrible pain and poverty. She could have died cursing God.


But no, she rejoiced in Jesus. And at her grave, her father and others accepted Christ.


Suffering coupled with faith is God's greatest tool. For always, the two produce a good story. A heart-changing story.


2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


God narrates the story for others at just the right time--when they can't stand their afflictions another day.


Peter sat in silence as I relayed Eva's story. He didn't move a muscle as I rocked with him and weaved the tale. He just listened. To everything. 


My son, if you could sail through life not having any challenges--and your brother Paul will have his in time, you can be sure--how would you convince people to follow God? What power would you have to change their hearts? Can you think of one thing you could say or do to change them at their core?


Ask for help and mercy and healing, but don't hate your story. It's the most valuable thing you have, as you seek to be your Lord's servant. Embrace it and say, "Yes, God, let it be for me as you say."


Luke 1:38
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.


At the end Peter understood the power of story, because Eva's story was worse than his. He repented immediately, telling me how sorry he was for yelling and arguing and having fits. He appreciated his life again and knew he was blessed. Perspective worked its God miracle in his heart.


Someday, someone will listen to his story and it will be worse than theirs. And his faith will speak volumes.


Consider my servant Peter who struggled mightily. One thing after another worked against him and his life took heartbreaking turns which he couldn't change or predict.


But through it all, he loved Me. He professed me his King. His Redeemer. His Comforter. He sang me songs of praise. Consider my servant Peter, with whom I'm well pleased. 


If Peter could endure all that and still profess me as Lord and Savior, don't you want that same power in your life? Don't you need it?

Suffering coupled with faith. There's only one word for it. 


Beautiful.




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