Beth's Rheumatology Appt. & prayer request

We went to Beth's rheumatology appointment today and they confirmed her arthritis is out of control, with her right wrist affected now as well (both knees, left ankle, right wrist). The right wrist has a small nodule on it, which happens with rheumatoid arthritis (RA).

So, they have to put her on another drug to protect her joints from serious damage. The methotrexate (low-dose of a chemo drug to suppress immune system) doesn't seem to be working anymore, which she's been on for over 2 years. Nevertheless, she still has to take that as well as naproxen twice a day, along with the new drug.

I have been researching the several choices for her new added drug, which will come from a class of RA drugs called biologics. They are made from biological material and have an effect on the factor in our systems that leads to inflammation. They are immuno-suppressants, like the methotrexate. People can die from infections when they are on them, but this doesn't often happen, and would depend on prompt care, too. They can also get very serious but not life threatening infections. There is a black box warning for an increased risk of cancers, especially lymphoma.

One choice I have, used since 1999, carries the cancer risk, as well as risk of MS, which an aunt and cousin of mine are afflicted with--the aunt having already passed away, but her daughter has a very aggressive case of it. 

Or, I could choose one of the newer biologics used since 2008, with so far a lesser risk for cancer, but fewer years of study, so in that case I would be dealing with a greater unknown. Also, because RA is an autoimmune disease, sufferers have a higher risk for cancer anyway. 

In the past, before the biologic drugs were available, many children ended up in wheel chairs because their RA was so poorly controlled. The long-term prognosis is much better for these kids all around, but boy, these are hard decisions.

I haven't made a decision yet about which drug, but she has her first appointment next week, and I need to decide, or cancel and wait longer to decide (they didn't actually give me that choice, but I will take it if necessary). Please pray for wisdom and peace? Beth will go once a month to the children's hospital to be injected with the new med, via IV (after going every two weeks for the first two doses). There is an infusion center there for kids who need chemo drugs, etc. They treat the kids specially by giving them snacks, movies, games, etc. while they wait for their IV bottle to empty (about 90 minutes for the newer choice, and 5 hours for the older choice--the one used since 1999). For a couple days after each infusion she might feel tired, and there are other flu-like symptoms she might notice for a couple days.

My husband hates all things medical and doesn't like to be involved in these decisions. It makes him angry to have to think about the ways Beth is affected by her disease. I think the anger response is not unusual in some men.

I have to be careful to preserve her fertility the best I can with the knowledge out there, and with newer drugs that is harder to do, but her doctor said there have been no fertility impairments known so far with the drug used since 1999, which carries the cancer and MS risk.

Your prayers would be much appreciated. I know God has a plan for Beth's life, and whatever decision I make he will work with, but this still feels heavy. Pray for the best choice? Thank you!

Let Love Win

Regular readers may know by now that my 90-year-old father-in-law, a Florida resident, may come to live with us. He's fallen recently and is in a rehab center now, getting stronger daily in small leaps.

I speak to him on the phone daily to get to know him better and track his progress.

This probably seems strange, but although I've been married 14 years, I've seen my father-in-law only twice for short Florida visits--once in the year after we married, and again when my first child was 9 months old.

He doesn't care to fly or travel and we don't have travel funds. And for the last five years, up until Father's Day 2013, Luther gave all of us the silent treatment, not answering the phone, not reading our letters.

I think that phone call on Father's Day, from Luther to us, was an answer to our prayers and Part One of God's plan to help Luther finish well. Luther's fall two weeks ago was Part Two of God's redemption plan.

Some days Luther seems interested in living with us, and other days he leans toward a retirement home.

At any rate he knows the risk of falling again is too great to continue living alone. What will Luther ultimately choose?

What does God want? What is his divine plan for my father-in-law's last months or years on this earth? I wonder about this daily now. If we are actors and actresses following an already-written script (God's will) what is my next scene about...and what is Luther's about?

Certainly it would be hard both for him and for us if he lives here. The children are noisy and needy and the chores and tasks are many. My plate is already full. And Luther has lived alone some 40 years now, never remarrying after his wife died in a car accident when my husband was 16. How will he adjust to having housemates? Will he shout and bark at us to be quiet?

What happens when my ADHD son has a meltdown? Will Grandpa interfere? Will I get angry at him and him at me? Will he love my son unconditionally, or favor the other children?

Will Luther have picky meal requests on top of my children's pickiness? What will I make for dinner, pray tell? What if my pineapple-upside down cake tastes too sweet, compared to his wife's?

On the one hand it all seems so messy, but God has a purpose for every stage of our lives. He allows our bodies to give out gradually. In the 80's and 90's we lose our balance and fall frequently. We can't quite get to the bathroom in time and we feel so tired, needing daily naps.

Does all this deterioration happen for a reason--beyond just the sin curse?

Parents care for babies and young children despite the exhaustion and intensity, day and night. We all survive and hopefully our little ones stay out of trouble, if not thrive during these years.

Later, it reverses. Elderly parents need the same care from us that decades earlier they provided for us. Even down to the potty care, bath care, feeding care and settling them down for a nap.

Why this cycle? What is God's intention? After living separately for decades, suddenly parent and child are back together under one roof, sometimes with fear as to how it will turn out?

As I've talked to God about this, I think I'm hearing these words--redemption, amends, forgiveness, grace, mercy, gratitude.

Most of all, I think God wants Luther to finish well. The Lord began a work in Luther's heart years ago, but Luther was not always cooperative. He's stubborn as an ox, much like my sister-in-law and one of my own daughters (Mary).

As a father Luther was sharp-tongued and merciless with his children. As much as he could he ignored them, spending all his non-working hours in his garage, tinkering. My husband, his sister, and their mother walked around on egg shells, not knowing what would happen next with Luther's temper. There was frequent spanking, but probably not what we'd call abuse...emotional abuse, sure, but not physical.

In his defense I must add that Luther was raised by a mentally-challenged mother and no father at all. The circumstances of his birth and upbringing were tragic.

Now at age 90, as much as Luther may want the comfort and quiet of a retirement home, God may want him in the midst of family chaos and love.

God may want Luther to finally invest in someone's heart, despite the fear of failure. And similarly, the Lord may want someone to give Luther unconditional love, despite his rough edges. His wife and children despised him most of the time. Luther left his own mother when he was 16 to work and live on someone's farm, closer to the high school, and his mother disowned him for it.

Luther desperately needs a love he doesn't deserve. Like someone else I know? Like me? Like my husband and our children?

We are all the same...sinners in need of grace. We crave love above all. Love heals. Love redeems. Love changes the heart.

The Lord may want Luther to speak love into his children heart's for the first time, smoothing over past wounds. My husband can get in touch with the childhood pain easily, but he's forgiven his father. His sister hasn't.

The Lord may want all of us to swim in the pain of brokenness for a while, while he works to redeem the past and finish the work he began in Luther, while dealing with our sins at the same time. We may need to overlook a lot of harsh words, and Luther may need to overlook a lot of noise and chaos and messy family business.

Through it all each person sharing this roof will need to cling to the Father. Tightly. It will be, above all, a lesson in clinging to God. I've had lessons like that before--two miscarriages, job loss, three unpleasant medical diagnoses in my children. I look back on those trials without resentment, knowing that in those months I grew exponentially.

Please pray with me that Luther will finish well? That he will come to our home and live life messy with us? That he will let God redeem the past? That Luther would receive unconditional love here? That he would leave a strong legacy afterall, by the grace of a magnificent God?

Luther's is just one messy story in a sea of human brokenness. Every family, every descendant of Adam and Eve, has a messy story. The question is, what will we do with our messiness? 

Pray that in our home, and in yours, love wins...for the glory of God.

Psalm 66:10 You have tested us, O God; you have purified us like silver.

Prayer Request (friend's daughter)

I can't give details but my friend's 18-year-old daughter, who suffers from anorexia and depression, is much worse. I feel so helpless right now! It's such a serious situation and it seems only God can help.

I can and will pass along Emily Wierenga's Christian book on helping a loved one battling an eating disorder. I read all 35 reviews of this book and it sounds like every mother with daughters should read it...before food and weight become a battleground.

Though, really, this disease isn't about food, but about control. Emily's book is very Christian-centered and includes the perspectives of Emily's family members as well as professional advice. Every chapter ends with a prayer.



Please pray for a better mother-daughter relationship for my friend and her daughter, and for grace, strength, and healing?  All involved are intensely stressed. Thank you! It helps to know that others might be praying.

Prayer for Vehicle Purchase, Please

Dear Friends, a godly couple from our church is selling their elderly parents' 2003 Ford Windstar Minivan with 75,000 miles on it for $3000. The appearance is like new, not having been used by children. It will probably need a battery right away because in the last year their father stopped driving and the van was started frequently, but not always run daily or even weekly.

Blue Book lists about $4000 for this year and model, so the price is excellent and the mileage is of course unusually low. Though this van is nearly as safe as our Toyota Sienna, Ford Windstar's reliability is just average, at least for this year. Ford changed the name to Freestar after 2003.

We ran that Toyota Sienna up to 226,000 miles as I said, and we had no pricey repairs at all--a miracle considering its age. There were annoying things like outside door handles that broke frequently, and the keyhole device had to be replaced, but we didn't put much money into that van after purchasing it with an initial 126,000 miles on it.

We would prefer another Toyota Sienna, but I know that individual vehicles can be lemons or highly reliable, depending partly on God's plan. Consumer reports and expert reviews can't tell the whole story.

Please help us pray? This is a big decision for a family with little money for pricey repairs (reliability is so important). We test drove it Friday night and will talk again with the couple after church on Sunday.

We have a rental van right now and can use it for 24 days if necessary, so while we'd like to get this settled, we do have a little time.

Thank you for praying!

Father of Mercies, God of all Comfort

Revelation 21:4and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away

2 Corinthians 1:3-4Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Today, January 24, is the birthday of precious Jonathan, Tesha's baby boy, stillborn one year ago. Late term losses are often discovered during routine exams, in which the parents are told, "I'm sorry, but there's no heartbeat." 

Inductions usually occur at the hospital labor ward, forcing the grieving mother to listen to loud baby monitors advertising healthy heartbeats. First cries and congratulations are also heard. Torture doesn't begin to describe the experience. My worst memories, the ones that bring tears immediately, thirteen years later, come from that hospital experience.

Today, many similar memories will flood Tesha's mind. Please pray for her? 

An Answer for the Overwhelmed Mother

Sometimes the responsibilities of motherhood completely overwhelm me and I feel buried and distressed. Wednesday is perhaps my worst day for this. Beth goes to physical therapy for her arthritic joints every Wednesday, and she has speech twice a month, following her physical therapy session. 

Now, Paul and Mary join in for speech. The speech therapist takes both girls together, and then Paul for just ten minutes. Afterwards I'm given homework to do with all three of them, in addition to exercises to address Beth's diseased joints.

Add to this our regular school and the pressure of trying to get Peter's fine-motor delay improved enough for him to write on college-ruled paper. He's in fifth grade and still needs a 2nd grade writing tablet with wide lines and a dotted line in the middle. Occupational therapy is probably necessary, especially for cursive, but I'm trying to avoid another monthly or bi-monthly appointment at the Children's Hospital.

A disheveled house greets us upon arrival back home. This Momma can't seem to get four children and herself ready to go while also keeping up with five-minute clean-ups. The rush to prepare for church on Sunday mornings leaves our house similarly disheveled, making our return trip bittersweet.

Today, Beth, either overwhelmed or tired or just ornery, crawled under the table during speech therapy and Miss Shelly had to gently threaten to take away her sticker if she didn't finish her words. Beth is sensitive, like so many girls, and this broke her heart--that dear Miss Shelly seemed less than happy with her. Miss Shelly, whom she loves so much and usually wants to please.

Miss Shelly felt bad returning a tearful child to me, but I told her she'd done the right thing, and sensitive or not, Beth definitely requires regular discipline--as much as any 4 year old. Fortunately for me, Beth has a conscience and did finish her work, but she was too brokenhearted to accept a sticker afterwards.

May I just say, girls and boys bear little resemblance to each other when it comes to discipline? Boys, despite their rambunctiousness and incessant wrestling, are easier to discipline. Stubbornness rarely rears its ugly head, unlike with my girls.

I pray so much harder for my girls' sustained commitment to the Lord because their stubbornness frightens me. Will they submit to the Lord without question? Will their hearts remain soft as the Holy Spirit points out their transgressions? Will they display willfulness toward their husbands some day? Am I modeling headstrong behavior around here? Oh, Lord, cleanse me for the sake of my children if this be so.

On every overwhelmed Wednesday, I go to Psalms for help

Jesus did the same. Psalm 22:1-15 is widely thought to be what Christ uttered on the cross in his brokenhearted, suffering state.

My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me? Why art Thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but Thou answerest not; And in the night season, and am not silent. But Thou art holy, O Thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in Thee: They trusted, and Thou didst deliver them. They cried unto thee, and were delivered: They trusted in thee, and were not put to shame. But I am a worm, and no man; A reproach of men, and despised of the people. All they that see me laugh me to scorn: They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, [saying], Commit thyself unto the Lord; Let him deliver him: Let him rescue him, seeing he delighteth in him. But Thou art He that took me out of the womb; Thou didst make me trust [when I was] upon my mother's breasts. I was cast upon Thee from the womb; Thou art my God since my mother bare me. Be not far from me; For trouble is near; For there is none to help. Many bulls have compassed me; Strong bulls of Bashan have beset me round. They gape upon me with their mouth, [As] a ravening and a roaring lion. I am poured out like water, And all my bones are out of joint: My heart is like wax; It is melted within me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd; And my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; And Thou hast brought me into the dust of death.

Isaiah 26:3 says: Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

Regular readers see this next assertion often: 

Peace is a person. If we could just remember this, yes? Life will overwhelm. Entering into His presence is the answer every time.

Psalm 100 is considered the gateway to prayer.

1 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. 
2 Serve the Lord with gladness: Come before His presence with singing. 
3 Know ye that the Lord, He is God: It is He that hath made us, and we are His; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise: Give thanks unto Him, and bless His name.
5 For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness [endureth] for ever, And His faithfulness unto all generations.

Yes, this is a perfect beginning to prayer. Know ye that the Lord, He is God. Isn't that why we pray? To remember that the Lord, he is God? That we don't have solutions, but he does? That we are not worthy, but his lovingkindness endureth forever? To remember that we are his people, the sheep of his pasture?

We can't recite this and not feel its truth and power. 

And the reward for going to the Throne of Grace, rather than wallowing in the heaviness of life?

Isaiah 26:3: Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed (anchored) on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee.

Oh, Lord, how we love you! How you sustain your sheep so lovingly. Thank you for your Holy Word, your awesome power, your everlasting love. May we enter your courts with praise and give thanks unto thee. May we bless your name!

Thank you, Heavenly Father....

~ for hot chocolate to warm my hands in this bitterly cold, below-zero wind chill.

~ for my husband's arms and understanding eyes.

~ for faith that though food prices rise before my eyes, you will provide.

~ for the help of Miss Shelly.

~ for Psalm 100, and Psalm 22, and Isaiah 26:3.

~ for the power of your Word to break down stress and restore peace.

~ for this study, which helped me find the gateway to prayer.

~ for children who do twenty-minute pick-ups on Wednesday afternoons.

A prayer request? L's mother--age about mid-thirties--fought with her father on Sunday, apparently over L's mother wanting to go on a trip with her no-good boyfriend. L ran over here to get away from it, and an hour later two police cars arrived at the grandparent's home. I don't know who called them, but perhaps the grandmother or L's mother. Shortly after, L was picked up here by her mother, in the boyfriend's car. There did not appear to be any arrests, but I don't know. We haven't seen L since and tonight is AWANA. Her mother doesn't own a car so it's up to the boyfriend to either bring L to our house on Wednesday evenings, or to the AWANA church itself, so she can continue to attend. We don't know if they will move in with the boyfriend again for good, or reconcile with L's grandparents (her mother's parents). Please pray that we'll be able to continue to disciple L? Thank you!

Pink Lines: A Piece of Heaven

Note to Terra: I read your comment about Chelsea and Peter and Beth. Thank you!. I'm having trouble getting into and replying to e-mails on both my accounts, but especially on the one attached to the blog. I think these computers are just too old now.

I remember the bursting joy at the pink line. I remember the tears and the gratitude and the wonder. In my mind nothing compares, other than birth itself, to that explosion of goodness.

I remember losing Isaac at 21 weeks and the grief that swallowed me afterwards. Only Peter's pregnancy confirmed five months later saved me. Waiting those months felt like an eternity and when I finally let go of my obsessive desire and let God have his way, it happened.

Another pink line, this time welcomed with different tears. Tears that spilled gratitude and grief woven together in a tight braid of saving grace.

Yes, I lost two babies (at ages 34 and 39,) and had two surprise babies at ages 40 and 42. When Beth's pregnancy was confirmed I didn't immediately let myself bathe in the joy because at age 42, I listened to the world. I felt too old and wrinkled and everyone around me did not feel a new pregnancy was a blessing. My pregnancies were always high risk, for one thing.

But as I leaned into Him I knew and experienced the miracle and the blessing. If it were not for my husband's vasectomy I would have kept going beyond age 42, trusting Him with my family size. The more babes I had in my arms the more I knew: this is the most sanctifying existence a woman can hope for. And the more you have to stretch, the more sanctifying it is. Infertility is equally as sanctifying--perhaps even more so.

Having two babies I didn't expect did soften the wounds from two miscarriages. Not erase, but significantly soften and for that I'm forever grateful. My friend Tesha lost precious Jonathan last January 24th, at 20 weeks gestation. May I ask for prayer that God will bless them with more babies? So few hearts are willing to keep loving and sacrificing and being inconvenienced. This family has so much love to give and my heart wants many more for them, especially to soften the pain from Jonathan's passing. Of course Jonathan can never be replaced, but a sibling to receive Momma's love right now would be so beautiful and healing.  They are ready to accept God's will for their fertility; they're brave and faithful. Endometriosis has been confirmed and treatment will probably be necessary, so hope is on hold for a time.

Please pray, for this is so hard for Jonathan's Momma? No matter that she already has five children she's raising. Each loss is still felt in the depths of the soul, no matter how many children run around the house. We can't ever say, "At least you have five others" and expect that to be understood by the grieving Momma. A baby lost is hands-on-love on hold and the hurt is unspeakably deep.

One of the AWANA teachers we know, a young mom of four, is sixteen weeks along with her fifth child. To me that was the happiest of news. I expressed congratulations and joy for her. Her husband is a pastor without a pastoral job right now, though he's looking for another. He's supporting his family working at Rubbermaid and dreams linger in the air. Finances are probably tight as well, but this family? They trust Him. Their faith is grander than their bank account and the economic forecast. Grander than cold and flu season and sleepless nights with many littles. Their faith is grander than kiddy chaos and messy floors and no time to themselves. Grander than wrinkled mommy tummies and varicose veins and breasts that fall and hips that widen.

Love and embrace that new body, as you thank the Lord who graciously blessed you.

When we trust him with our family size we're confirming for the world: God is good. Whatever grief each pink-line journey brings, God is good. If Down Syndrome surprises on birth day, God is still good.

As more and more Down Syndrome babies are aborted (it's about 90%), these special children will disappear and the loss will be felt in our world. Each baby, each life, has value and something to teach and God is always good. Always wise.

Another teacher, hearing the pink-line news, said hesitantly, "And is that good news?" It wouldn't have been good news to her and she said so. She wanted to ask first before congratulating this expectant mother. That just saddened me, and I don't really know why because I know motherhood is different for everyone. I can't expect everyone to feel exceeding joy and the Lord can be served in a myriad of ways, not only through motherhood.

But when I meet a woman who gets it, I want to hug her and tell her: "Thank you for understanding God's heart as concerns babies and children. Thank you for being a vessel of faith for His will. Thank you for seeing each life as a miracle and a blessing."

Thank you for shouting to the world through the power of your womb and your loving arms: 

God is good.

Note: If anyone out there is hoping for a pink line and waiting and waiting, please ask for prayer? I will be faithful to keep asking Him for you. You can leave a comment that won't be published.

Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 139:13-16
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

John 16:21 When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

Numbers 6:24-26
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Malachi 2:15

Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth.

3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Psalm 100:1-4

A Psalm for giving thanks. Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.

1 Timothy 2:15

Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

Multitude Monday: There Your Heart Will Be

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew Henry's Commentary on this verse:

4. A good reason why we should thus choose, and an evidence that we have done so (Matt. 6:21), Where your treasure is, on earth or in heaven, there will you heart be. We are therefore concerned to be right and wise in the choice of our treasure, because the temper of our minds, and consequently the tenor of our lives, will be accordingly either carnal or spiritual, earthly or heavenly. The heart follows the treasure, as the needle follows the load stone, or the sunflower the sun. Where the treasure is there the value and esteem are, there the love and affection are (Col. 3:2), that way the desires and pursuits go, thitherward the aims and intents are leveled, and all is done with that in view. Where the treasure is, there our cares and fears are, lest we come short of it; about that we are most solicitous; there our hope and trust are (Prov. 18:10, 11); there our joys and delights will be (Ps. 119:111); and there our thoughts will be, there the inward thought will be, the first thought, the free thought, the fixed thought, the frequent, the familiar thought. The heart is God’s due (Prov. 23:26), and that he may have it, our treasure must be laid up with him, and then our souls will be lifted up to him. 

source here


As we start a new week, it behooves us to consider what our treasure is right now. What is on our agenda? What are the concerns of our hearts and our minds? How we spend our time points to what we value and esteem. What we think about also gives hint of our treasure. Our innermost desires tell much. Where is our hope and trust? Where does our delight and joy come from?

Let's take a moment and pray:

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the blessing of a new week. Thank you for your presence in our lives. Help us to make you our treasure each day. Help us to make time for you, for the more time we spend with you, the more you become our treasure and our hope and our joy. Redirect our hearts and our vision. Take away our self-focus and transform it into a God-focus. May we look at the material things around us as mere tools to meet our basic needs. May we not be concerned beyond our basic needs. May we place our future and its needs into your hands, so we can be generous. May our pursuits and goals not be about things, but about souls and hearts. And all for your glory, Father, not our own.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Giving Thanks today:

Thank you, Father, for....

~ My eleven-year-old Peter's heart for you.

~ My Peter's love of working in the church nursery with me. Thank you for his joy in your children.

~ Thank you for medicine that has recently changed his life for the better concerning his ADHD. His physical and emotional state in this fallen, sin-cursed world are better because of the treatment you have allowed. Thank you, Father.

~ Thank you for a wee one who still fits in my arms.

~ Thank you that as many my age face an empty nest, I face years more of their giggles, their messes, their hugs, their noise. Thank you for the opportunity to mold their hearts for you. Help me to make the most of every minute with them, Father.  

~ Thank you for my husband's arms and his understanding and grace.

~ Thank you for sending two neighborhood children to our Bible Study and thank you for the privilege of seeing Lexie grow close to you. May she make you her treasure always!

~ Thank you for a big son who hugs me and tells me he loves me.

~ Thank you for my Mary's friendship with her sister, and for my Paul's with his brother, and for all of them enjoying each other.

~ Thank you for your Holy Word. I love its power, truth, joy.

~ Thank you for our Compassion children and for the privilege of speaking you into their lives. Thank you for Divya's enormous heart for you. Protect each of them with your angels, not allowing the danger of their circumstances to harm their hearts or homes.

~ Thank you for Compassion International running one of the most successful child-rescue missions on earth, and all in Jesus' name! May sponsorship grow many fold this year, bringing Love, Hope, Peace, Christ, nutrition, safety, health care and counseling to those who feel forsaken and hopeless.

~ Thank you for prayer warriors and friends in Christ.

What are you thankful for today?

Prayer Request: I asked for prayer for my friend's 18-year-old daughter, Chelsea, a couple months ago. She has ADHD with severe depression. Now she is purging her food and losing weight. It's all so worrisome. If each person reading just prays for her once, it would help a great deal. Depression and purging are such serious warning signs. Please pray? And also that her relationship with her mother improves? Thank you!

God's Voice Over the Enemy's

Prayer Request: We had two neighborhood brothers over for dinner last night. I'll call them C and T, ages 9 and 7. We've invited them to church before but their parents are resistant to spiritual food and said no. They're having financial difficulties and may have to leave their rental home for an apartment. We've heard this for the last three months. Yesterday the boys told me their parents were having a big fight over whether or not to move. We all held hands and prayed over the financial worries, and last night for the first time, their mother said yes to the boys staying for dinner (maybe because they were fighting?) My husband wasn't home yet, but I read the Christmas story after dinner from the Jesus Storybook Bible--a rendition that is easier to understand, and rich in Truth and Light and Comfort. I prayed much while they were here, that the Lord's message of grace and love and peace would prevail over Satan's in their home and in their hearts. Please, pray that their hearts (the whole family of four) would receive Him? The grandmother goes to church and the boys think their mother went to church as a child. These boys are hungry for Truth and Comfort! 

They are hard to have as guests because they won't focus on an activity, although they're plenty bright enough. It's hard to maintain order and so we would love prayer regarding that as well. I want to have them as often as they're willing, but I need them to stay calm. Thank you!

Now on to today's post:

Tis the season for indulgence and plenty. What a perfect time for counter-cultural spiritual food to help us contemplate God's heart in regards to our resources. The world tells us to make our Christmas celebration as perfect as possible, but what is God's heart? What does He wants us to do in His name? The lure of materialism is so strong this month, even for the most committed Christians.

What is the heart of God and how can we bring Him glory?

Being fortunate is a blessing but it comes with responsibility. To whom much is given, much is required, and not just monetarily speaking. If one has many gifts he is responsible to use them wisely for the benefit of others for the glory of God.

The fortunate aren't concerned about daily bread. They don't have immediate and crucial physical needs left unmet, like many Compassion children do, and like the neighbor without a job experiences.

But the fortunate aren't meant to have easier lives. God's intent isn't inequality, as we can learn well from the Old Testament (read about The Year of Jubilee). Rather, His intent is that we would love one another by meeting each other's physical needs: food, clothing, shelter.

God could have made it easier and just given everyone the same skills, talents and gifts. He could have made it a level playing field. But in such a world, who gets glory? Who shines?

No one, not even God. 

And God wants His glory!

The Lord's heart is especially close to the poor. He comforts them in ways the fortunate will never know. He has plans to exult the poor, in fact.

1 Samuel 2:7-8 The LORD sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.

And the fortunate? He allows them a different kind of comfort. A different kind of earthly life--one not spent in constant need and struggle. And with that freedom comes responsibility; responsibility to remain thankful and grounded in the things of God, and to resist the lure of the world. To not judge the poor for their plight, but to quench their thirst and relieve their hunger and assure their shelter.

Both sides, the fortunate and the poor, have lives that are hard. The struggles are merely different. In America, we are the fortunate. Can we even wrap our heads around the fact that 80% of the world lives on less than $2.50 a day? And that those in abject poverty live on far less than that?

God requires that we do wrap our heads around that. That we think long and hard about that expensive coffee that costs more than a family elsewhere lives on for a whole day.

Blogs like mine can feel tiresome. She's talking about this again? Hasn't she already beat this to the ground?

And my answer? We live a midst a powerful materialism. A Sinister Enemy speaks loud enough to be heard and in America Satan is gaining ground, especially among those under 40 years of age. Those in God's camp cannot afford to quit speaking the Truth in His name.

For we the redeemed have been given much, and much is required of us.

Verses courtesy of Compassion International. Let's read them and allow them to wash worldliness right off our backs. I have purposely included those you may not already be familiar with:


Proverbs 11:24-25 One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Luke 14:12-14 Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.

Acts 20:35 "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"
Romans 15:1-2 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

1 Corinthians 10:24  Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

Proverbs 14:20-21 The poor are shunned even by their neighbors, but the rich have many friends. He who despises his neighbor sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy.

Isaiah 58:6-11 "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.

"The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

2 Corinthians 9:6-13 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

As it is written: "He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever." Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.

Deuteronomy 14:28-29 At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year's produce and store it in your towns so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.

Ezekiel 16:49 "Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy."

Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.

Deuteronomy 15:11 There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.

Isaiah 14:30 The poorest of the poor will find pasture, and the needy will lie down in safety.

Proverbs 22:22-23 Do not exploit the poor because they are poor and do not crush the needy in court, for the LORD will take up their case and will plunder those who plunder them.
Psalm 72:12-14 For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight.

Proverbs 28:27 He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses.

Psalm 109:31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him.

Psalm 145:14-18 The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Winter Coat and Prayer Request for Neighbor Family

A neighbor of ours with four children just had their only car repossessed. As a result, as of Friday, the father lost his job. He had frequent absences after they went down to one car, and then to no vehicle. We've been shuttling two of their children to school. This morning I noticed that the kindergartner girl (age 6 last August) had only a thin spring jacket on. She said she doesn't have a winter coat.

As a regular thrift store customer--getting all of our clothes there--I can tell you that due to the economy there are fewer and fewer jackets and shoes and mittens available (more people are using thrift stores). So the odds of my finding her one are fairly slim. In Ohio where we are, coats are needed now.

If you have a used coat and other winter gear/clothes for a slim, average-height six-year-old girl, could you send items to me cash on delivery? Thank you!

christine4431(at)ymail(dot)com

And please pray for this family? The mother brings in the only income right now, and she has a low-wage job.

Mourn With Those Who Mourn: What Does It Mean?

When my babies died in my womb, when my husband lost his job, I walked around in a mourning-daze, unable to concentrate or sleep. I cracked eggs and absentmindedly put them down the sink instead of in bowls. I drove past my exit on the freeway and went to the store for a certain thing, only to come home without it. When I didn't have a duty to perform, I sat and stared at walls.

I couldn't smile or read and I prayed in words or groans, not sentences.

Last Thursday something emotionally devastating happened to someone whom I know very well. I'm in that mourning daze once again, though this time the tragedy isn't mine.

I asked myself 48 hours in, am I over identifying with this? Is that the problem? Am I failing to trust that God will redeem it and raise up the oppressed? Do I lack faith?

Certain scriptures came to me then, on the third day. Next, a modicum of peace arrived, not taking away the despair, but lessening it. This peace came quite suddenly, as though someone had prayed and God heard and he washed His spirit over me.

What does it mean to mourn with those who mourn? Simply to feel sad that the world is so broken, and to increase your pray for someone? To make a meal for someone or send a card? Maybe it depends on whether you're in their inner circle or not, but one thing I've learned is this:

We're not meant to push away these all-consuming feelings or simply "snap out of it". We need to walk through it, in solidarity with them.

Hebrews 13:3
Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

Job 30:25
Have I not wept for those in trouble? Has not my soul grieved for the poor?

Ecclesiastes 3:4

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance

Job 2:11
When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.

One of my prayer partners and I are praying one specific prayer right now, and I invite you to join us. 

Financial devastation due to the slow economy, and now this emotional devastation, both loom large right now and things could easily get too dark for this person. There appears to be no hope, on any front. She already lives too solitary a life, with too much time alone. Please pray: That God will give Person A tangible evidence that he exists and he loves her.

Thank you, friends!

photo credit

Thankful Thursday

Psalm 103:1-5
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.




“I have learned that in every circumstance that comes my way, I can choose to respond in one of two ways: I can whine or I can worship! And I can't worship without giving thanks. It just isn't possible. When we choose the pathway of worship and giving thanks, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances, there is a fragrance, a radiance, that issues forth out of our lives to bless the Lord and others.” 
― Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy

Dear Lord, thank you for these gifts:

~ Danny's Drawing Book is about Danny and his yellow drawing book. He goes to the zoo with a friend and draws pictures of what they see. Together, the two friends pen imaginative stories about the animals Danny's drawn. Fun and different, this book inspires children to draw and pen their own stories. It opens up young minds to the possibilities.

~ 

~ Riki's Birdhouse is for the nature lover in your home, especially. Riki designs plans for a birdhouse and builds it himself. The book takes the reader through every season, describing what Riki does to take care of the birds. My kids couldn't take their eyes off this book--it's that engaging! And packed with elementary science information!



~ Lexi came to the door just as we were having a scripture reading after dinner. Peter told her he could come out after our reading. In her signature way, she walked right in, asking if she could hear the Bible with us. We hadn't seen her in awhile so I suspected her mother returned to the volatile boyfriend's house again, with her two kids. This did happen but now they're broken up again.

It happened that while Peter read the Bible, he simultaneously prayed that the words would "penetrate Lexi's heart." I was doing the same thing in my mind, using exactly the same words! After she left Peter said, "Mommy, can you believe she came in exactly when we were reading the Bible? I prayed that it would penetrate her heart." 

Some things are so assuredly God-incidences, they make you shudder...with awe and joy.

This little girl has gained a lot of weight this summer and I fear some bullying when school starts for her. She previously had a little belly only, but now the situation is much worse. Her peers will notice the difference and  it could get rough for her. She has already, in her ten-year-old life, dealt with more than most of us could endure. Please pray for her and her health? Thank you.



~ Cooler days making rides in the van far easier.

~ Paul loving his piano lessons and new found love of instruments.

~ Watching my husband read to the kids on the couch. Never love him more than those moments! He understands more than most people that time is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. It helps that quality time is his love language, of course. :)

~ Bounty from the garden--with enough to share--and the kids asking, "Can we have a bigger garden next year?"



~ Paul telling me he wanted to bake something harder...to challenge himself. He looked up fillings and made chocolate cupcakes with a filling. He combined two recipes and it didn't work out, crushing his perfectionist spirit. But it brought good discussion about innovation, experimentation, taking risks, and the good things that can come from failure.

Oh...I have more but it's time to make dinner. Love to you friends! What are you thankful for today?

photos here

So Busy, And Prayer Request

I miss this space.

Miss Beth has four appointments scheduled this week, between speech, dental, and her two therapy sessions. All were (are) necessary.

I love the speech therapist exceedingly well. According to the testing workup, Beth is a smart little cookie with lots to say. As I suspected, her intelligibility needs a lot of work. On paper her articulation disorder looks moderate, but the therapist couldn't understand much of what she said--except when Beth was naming pictures--so she thinks it is moderate to severe, but fairly easy to correct.

She will also work on a few articulation issues in Mary and Paul (articulation difficulties run in the family) hopefully in group session with Beth, so that we can meet fewer times and keep our lives more sane. Lately, sane doesn't describe our schedule, but the swimming therapy ends after August, so that will improve things some. Beth's issues seem to run our schedule, unfortunately.

Another stressful thing.

Lexi, the neighborhood friend I've written about, recently suffered another tragedy in her life. Her mother and her mother's boyfriend were both arrested for domestic violence. Lexi and her brother witnessed it, and Lexi had to go to a neighbor's to ask for help. This didn't occur in our neighborhood, which is relatively quiet. It was at the boyfriend's residence about twenty minutes away.

So, they are back living with the grandmother and grandpa in our neighborhood. The mother's car was towed here yesterday, and she was released from jail.

Both Lexi and her brother came to visit yesterday--the first time we've seen her six-year-old brother. They both have anxiety issues and behavior issues and the brother's visit made me realize I can't keep ministering to Lexi as I'd like, especially if the brother now accompanies her here. I wasn't able to control him at all.

The more the mother--who probably has mental problems--upsets these children, the worse their own issues become, and the less I can do for them, outside of much prayer. Yesterday was overwhelming and I can't keep up that pace. Now that they are living here again, the visits would be very frequent and long, since the mother has little control over them and she apparently appreciates the long visits here.

All of their needs are very great. I don't think Lexi or her brother would be accepted by any daycare, due to behavioral problems and volatility, so the mother might be prevented from holding down even a menial job--thus, no home of their own. The grandparents probably can't handle the kids on their own, either.

Worse, the mother's poverty and her own emotional/mental issues probably lead her to one troubled man after another.

Please pray for this family?

It seems that life is so much about what country you're born into, and what family and issues you inherit. Overcoming huge things like this takes the strength of a relationship with God. Please pray that for Lexi and her family?

Thank you!

Something About Jonah, Part 3

Read part 1 here, part 2 here

Jonah Chapter 3; Jonah Goes to Nineveh Scripture in red, my commentary in blue.

1Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2“Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

3Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very important city—a visit required three days. 4On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned.”

Preaching a message of doom. Wow. Is that an easy assignment for any of us? Would we want to go out into our neighborhood with a bullhorn, preaching repentance? What are some of the consequences, potentially? 

We would be ridiculed. Our house would be toilet-papered, rocks thrown in our windows, or worse. No one would speak to us, henceforth, but they would watch us closely, looking for any reason to call us hypocrites. Our children would be ostracized.

We are called to share our faith, to make disciples of all nations...or neighborhoods. This isn't an assignment we can ignore, any more than Jonah could ignore the command to preach repentance to an evil nation. 

Just last week I felt an incredible pull to go down the street and give a dinner invitation to a neighbor and her seven-year-old grandson (the one who lost his mother as a one-year-old baby. This grandma has custody of him). Previously I had gone down to properly introduce myself and let her know we were here, should she ever need anything. She was appreciative and friendly and not in a hurry for me to leave, and asked about the church that meets in the elementary school down the street, which we've attended about a year.

Then after receiving my dinner invitation, she never responded at all, even to say she wasn't interested. I put two potential Sunday evenings on the invitation, asking what would work for her. The first Sunday has already passed and we've heard nothing. She is two houses down and was out talking to her neighbor on Sunday, and though we were out as well, she didn't come down or wave, though Landon, the seven-year-old, did wave.

I thought she was a Christian because she sends her grandchildren to VBS and AWANA every year. The invitation explained that we wanted to be the Body of Christ to her and fellowship with her and be here for her, should the need ever arise. Inviting her didn't feel risky; I thought she was a Christian. Maybe she is, but from our last conversation I surmised she doesn't currently go to church, nor did she ever attend the church she sends her grandchildren to for programs. Her sister is the connection to that church. I didn't invite her to church, but I did gave the start times after she inquired. I wanted to concentrate on making a real connection and I felt a casual summer dinner would be the best way. 

Remember that I'm shy. All this started after my study of the Body of Christ. I felt a pull, not from within, to go down the street and see this woman. It was God, for sure, which makes me all the more confused.

I wouldn't have taken these steps had I not thought she was a Christian...and that bothers me. I don't share the gospel except with young children (like ten-year-old Lexi, our neighborhood friend), and on the Internet through my writing...because it's safe that way. 

How many of us want to feel safe, more than we want to work for God? I have to admit my neighbor's lack of response makes me feel stupid--as though I'm not even worth a walk over to say she's too busy. Unbelievers can do that to us...make us feel less than. We mustn't let it stop us though, for who defines us? Who gives us our worth? The world, or our loving Heavenly Father? 

5The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.

6When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. 7Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh:

“By the decree of the king and his nobles:

Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. 8But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. 9Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.”

10When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.


Wow! Can you imagine a more miraculous response? How blessed we are that the Lord desires to correct us in love, not take revenge. 


Judah and Israel had been dealt with by prophets before, but they never repented; their hearts remained hard. Jesus said in Matthew 12:39-41 that at the time of judgement, the Ninevites would stand and condemn Israel for not repenting.


Matthew 12:39-41 He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. 41The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now onee greater than Jonah is here.

I have to admit to a lack of mercy in my own heart. When I saw my neighbor out the other day, talking with another neighbor, my heart grew hard. I didn't want to look at her. I felt humiliated at her lack of response and I didn't feel she deserved any kindnesses. My own perspective, my own feelings, prevailed, just as we'll see happened to Jonah in chapter 4. Peter, my son, had more heart than I did. He waved at Landon and tried to wave at the grandmother as well (she was preoccupied with her conversation). Peter, too, feels bad about her lack of response. He's shy as well, but more social than me; he looked forward to having dinner with a neighbor, but his disappointment didn't stop him from extending kind gestures.

Trust me, you'll be disgusted at Jonah's response in Chapter 4. It'll leave you shaking your head. But don't shake it too much. If you look deep enough, you may find similar hardness in your own heart. 

The Book of Jonah has so much to teach us! One of the most important lessons is humility before God--having an awe at His divine mercy toward all people, no matter their sins. No sin is too great for his mercy, if we will only humble ourselves and repent. We must be mindful of our lowly position before God. We are worthy now, as a redeemed people, thanks to His mercy and grace...but exalting ourselves above others in our own minds? Always a grievous sin!

I never meant for this to get so long.  I fully intended on getting to Chapter 4 today, the conclusion of the Book of Jonah. Maybe tomorrow? My husband is having hernia surgery at 11:00 am this morning (Wednesday). If he doesn't need me much in the coming days, I'll get to Jonah 4 hopefully on Thursday or Friday. Please pray for a perfect surgical outcome? Thank you!