Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Thoughts and Blessings


1 Chronicles 29:11-13
"Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power
and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,
for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom;
you are exalted as head over all.

Wealth and honor come from you;
you are the ruler of all things.
In your hands are strength and power
to exalt and give strength to all.

Now, our God, we give you thanks,
and praise your glorious name."

Gratitude List:

~ Leftover gingerbread pancakes for lunch. (Do you ever feel like you'll scream if you have to make one more peanut butter and jelly sandwich?) Am I a bad mom if I put whipped cream on my Beth's pancakes? She's losing weight from the arthritis, which is common. The pain is like a perpetual toothache, weakening the appetite. I have to work hard to get her to eat enough without compromising nutrition. I tweak most recipes to include only 100% whole grain so the pancakes, when taken with milk, make up a complete protein serving. When you team whole grain with dairy, you always have a complete protein. No meat needed with it, and whole grain also contains iron.

~ sunshine for two days. No snow yet for a white Christmas, but I'll take the bright sun any day.

~ Beth didn't walk right away the last two mornings, but I have noticed improvement in her swelling in the last week. Perhaps the naproxen is helping now? The morning stiffness is the best indicator of active disease, so we must watch that very closely ahead of her Jan. 4 rheumatology appointment, at which her doctor will make a determination to continue with just naproxen, or add a one-time steroid injection in both knees (with her under a milder form of general anesthesia). Anyway, today, I celebrate less swelling.

~ Beth laughing in her sleep.

~ I've given steroid eye drops every two hours while Beth's awake for a solid week now. Today I celebrate having only three weeks left, at which time the eye doctor will recheck her eye inflammation. Sometimes she cooperates and sometimes she doesn't. Maybe they expect that with a 3-year-old? When she's contrary, I can usually pry her eyes open long enough to sneak them in without her cooperation. She's supposed to keep her eyes closed for one minute afterward, but she doesn't do this and I'm unable to force it. God is in control of her story. I can only do so much and He knows that.

~ The children's book Christmas with the Mousekins: A Story With Crafts, Recipes, Poems and More! Delightfully illustrated, it's about a mouse family preparing for Christmas--working to bless each other and their neighbors. Included with the story pages are the craft projects they work on for each other and for their house, taught on separate pages with diagrams and written directions. Crafts include: snowflakes, tree ornament cornucopias with candy, mittens-in-a-row tree ornament, Christmas tree hat, Christmas-trees-in-a-row tree ornament, Christmas Mobile, Mousie Sock Puppet, mitten bookmark, and angel mouse tree topper. Recipes include: Cinnamon Snail Cookies and Gingerbread Mice Cookies



~ Last week I discussed Beth's toe walking with her physical therapist. The rheumatologist told me Beth does it to offset the pain in her knees when she walks. The therapist said if we don't keep flexing her feet to stretch this muscle, her toe walking will create more problems due to a too-tight muscle. So all week long I've tried to flex her feet while she sits on my lap. She hates it because it hurts, so I had yet another stressful fight with her. But today I celebrate a break through with this. If I flex and point her toes/feet in quicker succession, rather than in a more prolonged stretch, she says it doesn't hurt and she allows me to work with her. We'll see what the therapist says tomorrow about the effectiveness of this alternate method, but I have to think it's better than nothing. Today I celebrate that.

~ Children busy with coffee filter snowflakes inspired by the children's book above.

~ No library fees for quite awhile.

~ Mary's been making do with sweats at bedtime instead of a sleeper. She likes loose sleepers and I only have 5t's, which are too tight for her. Beth, it turns out, needs the 5T's because she's tall for her age with larger feet. Thankfully, Grandma sent a sleeper for Mary's birthday. I suggested a larger size that Mary could wear for two years, but it was too big in the feet and wouldn't stay put. I returned it for one that was too small. Ugh! Last night I ventured to Walmart late at night, which always brings out the teenagers and young adults who dress in all black with nose rings and other way-out-there adornments on body and hair. They love the midnight hour for shopping. What's up with that?

Anyway, Mary now has a sleeper that fits. She'll be looking more feminine, which every girl (and Momma) loves. The bedtime sweats were sometimes borrowed from her brothers.

~ fresh, boiled cranberries with baked chicken and baked sweet potatoes for dinner tonight.

~ Peter memorizing his long speaking part for the Children's Christmas Choir.

~ Laundry moving swiftly today.

~ Secret Santa gift cards in my husband's box at work today. He works for a false-gospel church. At times it's very hard to be a part of their establishment, but in a bad economy you have to take what is available. Ohio still has a very depressed economy and fewer jobs post each week. He sometimes has opportunity to view curriculum for children and adults in his capacity as a custodian there. What they teach is so watered down it may as well be a universalist church.

The thing is, they treat him better there than any place he's worked. Before doing custodial work he worked with the mentally challenged as a direct care worker. There's no respect in that job, which is true of most servant-based jobs. Custodians are treated even worse. Many people, Christians included, won't even look at them. But in this job, he has respect. Go figure: false-doctrine Christians treating him better than real Christians.

A Christian should be, above all, humble. How did God come to us? A newborn in a stable. He lived a humble life among us and He died humbly.

A humble person treats the custodian with respect, consistently.

And how does one get there...to that place of humility? Can we exhort humility from people? Or must a person live it--through humble circumstances--to be it? Interesting question.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

A Debtor's Nightmare: It Could Be You

I'm about to humble myself before you like never before. Please reserve judgement while you read, unless you've been in my shoes? Can I ask that, please, as I seek to help you right now?

It's Christmas time and at this time of year, Satan has an easy time stirring up wickedness. He wants you to take your eyes off of Christ and overspend. Overspending is a symptom of ingratitude. A thankful heart is a still heart, a peaceful heart.

Oh, I know. You have a plan to keep yourself from overspending this year. It's a good plan, I'm sure. But Satan also has a plan, and it involves keeping you so busy, you'll get too stressed and overextended to follow your original, good plan. You'll finally say to yourself, "We'll, I've already blown my budget, so I may as well get what's necessary and tighten my budget in January."


Some of the things will seem very necessary, like gifts for the office staff. But remember that Christmas occurs in the heart, not the pocketbook. Can you write them a card instead and share your favorite Scriptures and tell how much you appreciate them? That is enough.


And whatever you do, don't charge anything this Christmas!  If you've already done so, take it back!  I'm about to share a little bit of my personal nightmare with a credit card company, and I hope you take it to heart. There are days now I'm barely holding onto my sanity, and some of that has to do with my credit card company.

When husband lost his full-time job, I kept up with my payments for the first year of underemployment. The second year, I had to stop paying, because food on the table and a roof over our head took precedence. When things get bad financially, you have to make heartbreaking decisions. Food and shelter come first, always. If you get a lump sum of money by some miracle, believe me, you'll need it for home or car repairs. Either that, or you'll need it for medical care.

When a Christian fails to pay a debt, it's very bad. But it all starts when you incur debt in the first place. Don't think for a second that God will provide money for your credit habit. He won't help you at all. He will let you fall, especially if you're a repeat offender. 

In fact, I have a bold opinion on this. You're more likely to have your job protected by God when your financial health is spiritually sound. That's not to say your company won't go under in a bad economy. I only mean your chances for job disaster are higher if you have financial sins.

You might think it's as simple as telling them you can only pay $10 per month right now. They are evil, my friends. They don't care about your sob story, no matter how many hungry mouths it includes. They won't accept partial payments or payment plans, and either will your mortgage company. Their goal is to intimidate you into paying your obligation to them before you feed your children. They are successful often enough, through various scare tactics, so they keep at for months. You can write a letter telling them to stop calling you, and sometimes that is successful, since it's their legal obligation to honor your written request to stop harassment.

After many months of intimidation, including calling your family and even your neighbors if they can manage it, they will send it to a collection agency. This agency will bother you for awhile, eventually trying to collect just a percentage of the original debt (maybe 75%). But it will still be a lump sum, not a payment plan or partial  payments. Lump sum or nothing. Again, if you're really hurting financially, you don't have lump sums.You have serious unmet needs to take care of, like your mortgage or keeping your car going, and your credit rating is the least of your worries.

If the collection agency can't get a lump sum out of you, the credit card company charges off your debt and sells it for pennies on the dollar to a junk debt buyer. The junk debt buyer (a law firm, often) sues you in court to collect the whole amount plus interest and penalties. They say they are representing your credit card company, but they are actually trying to collect for themselves. They may have an agreement to give the credit card issuer a small percentage of the collection, but not always.

90% of consumers think the lawsuit is a scare tactic and they fail to respond to the court summons. Shortly thereafter, the law firm gets a default judgement against you and garnishes your wages or bank account for up to 25% per month. Right now, this is all legal! Don't let someone tell you your credit rating is the only thing at stake when you default on a loan or credit card. This is false.

If you stay on top of the legal nightmare and try not to default entirely, your situation is still the same. They will want a lump sum, not a payment plan or partial payments. If you can't pay, the judge will order a judgement against you for far more than your original debt. Your bank account or wages will be garnished (never give them your bank account number voluntarily, and never send a personal check!). If your income is exempt from garnishment, the judgement stands and when you get back on your feet, they will find you. The nightmare will not stop unless you pay it or file bankruptcy protection, and even then a junk debt buyer may try to collect again in the future, intimidating you into thinking it was not discharged in your bankruptcy. You must save everything and be on top of a system that is inherently evil, run by the evilest in society.

Friends, your original debt can be relatively low, and this nightmare can still be yours. Credit is evil on both sides--the overspending consumer, and the debt collector. We're trying hard to stay on top of it, and thankfully we have help from a community legal aid agency. The small details are killing me, though. I got another legal thing in the mail Friday, asking me to appear for a pre-trial hearing. It's all I can do to avoid a nervous breakdown right now. I ask God for strength every time my heart rate rises.

When you get in trouble it isn't about shirking your responsibility as a debtor. We never tried to get out of paying our debts. They force you to make horrible decisions, because in the long run, they only want what's best for them financially. There is no good faith.

Don't carry a balance, please? Don't fall into Satan's holiday trap, or any other spending trap. Have a thankful heart for what God provides. It is enough. You have enough. Fill up the empty places in your heart and life with Him, not with purchases.

Please don't think it won't happen to you. If you have a credit card balance right now, stop spending and pay it down, even it means only one present under the tree for your children. And if you're already in trouble and using your credit card to live on, research what can and will happen. You must be informed so you can keep food on your table and a roof over your head.

Please don't judge my admissions here? God has taken me a long way in the past three years. I'm not the same person who once incurred debt. My heart knows that whatever God provides, it is enough.




Saturday, December 10, 2011

Saturday Blessings

 1 Thessalonians 5:18
 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.


I am thankful for...

...a new Playdoh toy for Beth's Birthday. Loved by all!

...sweeping up Playdoh three times a day now (once my big boy did it).

...husband home for Saturday breakfast.

...Miss Beth waking up in the middle of the night and saying, "Mommy, did you pray for me?" Dumbfounded, I told her "Yes, Lovey, Mommy's been praying for you." I had been up an hour praying and staring at her. She is only vaguely aware that anything is amiss with her health, so this comment had something to do with a dream she had. She went back to sleep right away.

...Miss Beth walking right out of bed this morning. She usually can't put any weight on her legs right away, so this is a breakthrough. Maybe the flare is over? Thank you for your prayers!


...her smiling so wide while we sang to her.

...her dimples.

...her thank yous. She says them all day long.



...Daddy teaching her how to blow out a candle.

...Paul jumping into my arms for a standing cuddle.

...people with pressing spiritual and physical needs who take our minds off ourselves and put them on the Body of Christ.

...little girls who add their mealtime prayers to ours, quite insistently. :)

...little one coming up to tell me, "Mommy, it's time for my nap."



...puzzles checked out of the library.

Have a blessed weekend!

Friday, December 9, 2011

blessings

Counting blessings:


I am thankful for...


...Beth taking to the steroid eye drops fairly well. There are so many doses and coupled with her two other medicines (one other eyedrop 1x day, and the 2x day naproxen) and everyone's vitamins, and Peter's medicine, and cream after bathing to control eczema, and lip balm to control Mary's winter lip issues, and you've got one very overwhelmed mother who's constantly wondering what she forgot. 


...the sweet letters my boys wrote to two children, ages 4 and 8, who lost their home in a fire Wednesday night. We received the news from our homeschool group, and as I gathered things they needed, the boys wrote letters. Today we'll make cookies and put together simple stocking gifts. 


Dear Christian and Carlos,


How are you? I am good. The fire must have been scary. I am sorry. Jesus loves you and he will take care of you. Did you know that angels are all around you? My favorite Bible verse is John 3:16. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


Love,
Peter


...frequent grace rainings. Typically, when the eye inflammation follows closely after the initial Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis, the prognosis is worse for the eyes. Eye problems often don't show up for years. Of those affected, the statistics are that 30% to 40% experience profound vision loss and 12% lose their sight entirely. Also, the steroid drugs used to treat the inflammation can cause glaucoma. Beth will know joy in her life through Christ and those who love her, but the thought of her not seeing her babies clearly or at all, profoundly saddens me. The children and chores and school keep me in the present 80% of the time, but there are times, like when I'm trying to sleep, that my mind still wanders to the what ifs. God knows my mind will do this no matter how strong my faith is. He meets my needs by reminding me of his abundant graces throughout the day. I call them grace rainings. 


...Beth's eye doctor, who is a renowned pediatric ophthalmologist. He has published extensive articles and in 1999, he helped developed a treatment for congenital nystagmus. Patients from all over the world travel to the vision center he works for. He happens to work at the same children's hospital Beth's rheumatologist works for. Praise God!


I wish I could write more, but life is so much busier now. Have a blessed weekend! And please let me know how I can pray for your family?





Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Your Task For Today: A Beauty Search



Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of our wedding photos, I'm caught by the naivete on our faces. Do you know why we were free and happy on that day? And why all parents are giddy at the birth of their babies?

It's the hope of tomorrow. In the majority of cases, nothing touches that hope on these glorious days. Brides and grooms and new moms and dads can get drunk on the hope--it's that plentiful.

The eye doctor told me today: "We're not going to think about her whole childhood right now. I won't do that to you or to me. We'll take it one appointment at a time." He said it nicely, but I knew not to ask any further questions right then, especially since my whole crew was along listening.

But tonight, I just had to know. What is the prognosis really? What is he not telling me? I can accept it, but I have to know.

Husband is angry and he doesn't want to know. I don't tell him most of what I learn, because it just makes him angrier, which I know is normal for many men. He just wants his little girl healed. Right now!

The real truth is, 12% of JIA patients will go blind. In the 1950's it was 50%. Because of early detection, it's now possible to do somewhat better than the 12%. But even if everything is done right, some children don't respond to treatment. They go blind.

What do I do with that 12% statistic? If she's already falling into the low percentages, what reason do I have to hope?

The Holy Spirit whispered it and you know what I'm about to type.


Your hope isn't here...remember? It's in heaven.

Hard to accept? Yes, unless you are Dana and your son gets crushed to death by a dresser. Or you are Shannon and you know your two children will absolutely die between 10 and 18 years old, or sooner. And in the meantime they will lose all their skills and need maximum assistance.

It wasn't hard for Gitzen Girl, who recently died from Ankylosing Spondylitis, an autoimmune arthritis much worse than Beth's. Despite being confined to bed and dealing with incredible daily pain, Gitzen Girl chose joy. 

Once you lose your innocence, you understand. Our hope isn't here. That's why kids go blind and some get crushed by dressers. And why some women want a baby desperately, but can never have one. God knows the plans he has for us in the heavenly realms. That's why he can allow these things to happen.

I've lost my innocence too, but God prepared me for this day. I know how to pass my days from now until eternity. Some of the lessons come from the Holy Spirit's whispers in my own life, and some come from Ann's life.

Search for the beauty in today. God has planted blessing everywhere for our good pleasure. All his careful plantings? They're my grace and your grace. Give thanks for each piece of beauty....today. That's how we pass our time here. Counting blessings. Giving thanks. Today.

Wondering about tomorrow? It's like Peter taking his eyes off the Lord and falling into the water.

By the third dose of steroid drops today, Beth was a screaming mess, refusing to open her eyes. I couldn't get a full dose in, after twenty minutes of high-level stress.

But I'm going to bed now. Tomorrow is God's, not mine. And that means those steroid drops and my daughter's compliance are His too.

My hope doesn't lie in eye drops or in doctors.

photo credit