A Prayer When Nothing Goes Right

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3

I can honestly say that very little is going right this week. Usually I would feel too ashamed to write that. It sounds ungrateful. Whiny. Self-centered.

But this week, it's true. A four-day hormone-induced migraine has me popping pills day and night. I'm fearful that my liver--despite following bottle instructions--might fail someday from too much acetaminophen, making it impossible for me to help my children when they have their own families.

I have aspirations as a grandmother, you see. Without the daily responsibility of feeding them, clothing them in clean, unwrinkled clothes, keeping their faces clean and hair combed, and wiping up their spills? That sounds like a recipe for real quality time. Quality time that lasts longer than twenty minutes.

I love these days and realize that the mundane is beautiful in and of itself. When I read on Ann's blog that her youngest turned seven, it made me sad for her, and grateful that my own youngest is still 3.5 years old. (Never mind that Beth's having fit after fit and seems as needy as a baby.)

The days of grandmother-hood? They will be sweet indeed. A different kind of sweetness. As long as my health holds up.

The headaches aren't all of it. My Beth is holding in her poops, creating havoc in my mind and heart. It's like a daily birthing, these poops. Sometimes just a little at a time. The fear of pooping? It. takes. up. a. lot. of. time. Her diet? Not the culprit. It's just fear.

That same three year old woke up and cried out for me, every time I rose early for devotions. The dinner dishes got completely finished on only one night. At least two loads of laundry were done per day, but very little got folded or put away.

Imagine it. Laundry on the couch, unfolded. Some laundry on top of the couch, folded. Laundry in the dining room, hanging. Laundry equals clutter and it makes me want to scream! And the kitchen counter, which I usually manage to completely clear at least three times a week, remains cluttered for the fifth day in a row!

I feel like an utter failure. Nobody has a house messier than this one. Order isn't everything, but it sure lends to a person's sanity.

I feel ready to admit this to the whole world. I am a horrible housekeeper!

I know this much. God wants me to hold my needy children. To sing to them on the potty. To whisper I love yous into their tiny ears. To kiss their ten-year-old cheeks. To give them the long hug they didn't know they needed. To tell them how good it feels to be with them on the couch, watching Stuart Little 3 from the library, while mommy's headache rages.

Children's hearts are so full of grace for mommy. At least at these ages. I wish my own heart could be so generous...to itself.

Prayer Time: Dear Heavenly Father, I'm at the end of myself. Heal this headache. Protect my liver. Help me, with patience and good will, catch up around here. Give me a heart of grace for myself. Help me with the fruit and cookies we're preparing today for our annual church town party. May hearts be beckoned to attend church. May all of us radiate your love, despite our infirmities and imperfections. May all mommies everywhere know that they are more than their clutter. More than their sticky floors. Help us to focus on You, and on Your Kingdom, while walking through our homes without tripping. I love you. Thank you for plucking me out of this world at age 31, and remaking me in your image. Help me to do you proud and be humble in heart. I owe you everything. May my life be a daily offering to you.


In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3

photo credit

If We Could Only See

I ran across wonderful truth words. It's the truth I feel. The truth I live. The truth I look for all around me. 


Have you ever heard a testimony similar to this? A person loses his job, prays to the Lord for help, and then finds another job with a better salary in just a couple of weeks?

While we can all rejoice with that person, many times the situation does not turn around that quickly. Sometimes it may even get worse in spite of our most earnest prayers.

I wonder if the angels rejoice even more so in a testimony like this one: “Things got bad, I prayed, they got worse, I prayed again, they didn't improve. But I am still trusting in God and praising Him.”

Courtesy of Compassion International: http://blog.compassion.com/why-do-we-follow-the-lord/#ixzz1xfacVwIY


What if...


...the disease doesn't go away. 


...the problem personality doesn't soften. 


...the mother-in-law doesn't become more encouraging.


...the husband doesn't get more spiritual. 


...the family member doesn't come to the Lord.


...the poor family doesn't stop hungering for daily bread.


...the child doesn't remain in the faith.


...the problem neighbors don't move away.


...the bank gets the house.


...the tumor gets bigger.


...a second miscarriage occurs.


...the infertility never resolves.


We live for improvements, for success, because we don't see with God's eyes. We don't understand the brevity of this life. The weight of problems--either our's or someone else's--bury us. We fail to see past them. But God sees. God never stops working to win souls to himself. One more soul. That's His heart.


The challenge of this life is not to solve the latest problem, but to adopt God's heart. God's eyes. The real problem is not the mother-in-law, or the disease, or the lost job.


The real problem is our vision.


Prayer Time:  Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for the cross. Thank you for your commitment to winning souls, above all else. Thank you for Eternity. We can't understand it all, Lord, but we want to see with your eyes anyway. Please help us. Please heal us of a here-and-now mentality. May we focus on the lost souls, instead of the lost jobs. May we be your hands and your feet, and your heart, to others. May we keep our eyes on you. 


In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.


photo credit

Happily linking with Jennifer

And with Emily

The Parenting Dance

Mother and Child by a River with Wild Roses
Mildred Butler, 1900

Trying to keep my three year old from using her injured (inner) wrist is a full time job. I can take up regular blogging again after her stitches come out next weekend. The wrist is an area that naturally gets a lot of movement and I have to watch her activity level closely to achieve the best possible healing. We are so thankful her veins weren't involved! The scene could have been far worse.

Last Thursday, June 7, she bent down slightly to look at a critter and lost her balance on the way up, because of her arthritic knees. She used a glass critter cage to try and break her fall. (10-gallon fish tank, dry, empty, but turned on its side by Paul to allow some bees to escape). Her wrist went right through the glass, shattering the cage and giving her a nasty skin flap wound, which needed four stitches. It was very close to veins but didn't hit any and didn't bleed much at all.

Maybe because I have a family history of anxiety--or maybe just because I'm a mom--any accident makes me anxious for weeks. I begin to feel as though I'm helpless in protecting my family. My mind switches to overdrive as it considers all the possible mishaps.

While I'm anxious this time too, I also feel a certain assurance from the Lord regarding Beth's condition. Her balance may not be right until her arthritis goes into permanent remission. She is always at greater risk of injury. But the Lord protected her. I feel as though he'll let her stumble, but not fall--so to speak. There may be more scary scenes, but I must trust Him to again protect her.

I can try harder to keep any glass or metal out of her playing environment, but I can't go overboard and take childhood joys away. She needs to fully live, regardless of her arthritis.

Parenting is as much about letting go, as it is about conscientiousness. It's a fine, delicate dance. It's clinging to God, the true owner of my children, and trusting His plans.

It's so hard. And such a privilege.

The greatest mothering blessing comes to those who lay it all at His feet. When we take it all back--the full weight of it--we fail and make ourselves, and our children, miserable.

If mothering is exhausting you, as it has me lately, maybe our sin is in thinking it all depends on us?

1) Pray much. 2) Point the way to Him. These two things, we must do.

Prayer Time: Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of children, for the gift of mothering. Help us to relinquish control over to you, as we parent the children you so graciously trust us with. May we remain in You, so we can point the way. Heal us of anxiety and stress over outcomes, whether for next week, or for the next decade. Teach us to lay it all at your feet. Come alongside us and teach us to pray, and to point the way. May we never crowd You out, as we seek to give the best to our children. You are the best.


In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

Today's Blessings

Blessings spill here every day. I'm so grateful for the Lord's faithfulness in providing grace and wonder.

First, my cousin came and fixed our leaky shower. The sight of Mommy in the tub filled my children with giggles for three days. "Mommy! Adults don't take baths!"

One day my three year old stripped down and invaded my bath, singing Barney's song: "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?"

Then she preceded to help me rinse my hair.

As sweet as I found that serenade, and as much as I'll remember it forever, baths use up a lot more water and more time. I'm so tickled to be back to showers.

Another blessing? Paul, who has earned more chore money than any of the four, heard the Ice Cream Truck and decided it would be a good use of a portion of his hard-earned money. Usually I would object, but this is his money.

He stopped hearing the singing truck and grew disheartened. He promptly prayed, and seeing his downtrodden countenance, I took pity and prayed as well.

Fifteen minutes later the Lord provided. Paul had begun to loose faith. I kissed him and told him that Jesus loved him. The ice cream truck coming back was a sure sign that his hard work on chores was pleasing to the Lord.

My excited children, all laden with chore money, partook of ice cream truck favors for the second time in their young lives. I would think that the ice cream in our freezer tastes far better, but you wouldn't know it by their cheery smiles.

Lastly, when the boys expressed interest in baking something, I suggested searching for recipes with Cheerios, since we had extra boxes.

Oh, these bars! So delicious.

Betty Crocker No-Bake Cereal Bars  print recipe here



Ingredients

1 cup light corn syrup

1cup sugar

1 1/4cups peanut butter

6cups Cheerios® cereal

1bag (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips (2 cups)

Procedure

Step 1

Lightly butter 13x9-inch pan. In 4- to 5-quart Dutch oven, heat corn syrup and sugar to boiling over medium-high heat, stirring constantly. Cook until sugar is dissolved; remove from heat. Add 1 cup of the peanut butter; stir until smooth. Add cereal; mix well. Immediately press in buttered pan. 

Step 2

In 2-quart saucepan over low heat, melt chocolate chips with remaining 1/4 cup peanut butter, stirring constantly. Spread evenly over bars. Refrigerate about 30 minutes or cool completely at room temperature until chocolate is set. For bars, cut into 9 rows by 4 rows. 


And what's better than a Psalm to go with a little praise and thanksgiving?

Psalm 107:1-9

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
his love endures forever.


 

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, 

those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south.
 
Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle.
They were hungry and thirsty,
and their lives ebbed away.
Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.


 

He led them by a straight way
to a city where they could settle.
Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

Prayer Time: Dear Father, Thank you for your faithfulness and lovingkindness. You fill us to the brim with blessing and love. Thank you for my cousin, his skill, his help. Bless him in every way. Thank you for blessing Paul with an ice cream favor, and for building his faith. Thank you for confirming for him that you listen and answer prayer...that you love him and seek to bless him. Thank you for my boys' work in the kitchen. Thank you for "filling the hungry with good things", both spiritual and material. We love you. We worship you. May our lives bring you glory.

In Jesus name, Amen.


P.S.
Later this same day, Beth cut her wrist on a glass critter cage, meaning we spent three hours in emergency. It was a skin flap wound. They did their best to repair it, using four stitches, but a bit of skin stayed behind in the cage so it won't be the best looking spot on her arm. Good thing we have lines on our wrists anyway, to mask any scar. She did well--her strength is a miracle--until we came home at 10:00 PM, at which time she completely fell apart, along with one of her siblings (who can't take any change). As exhausted and disheartened as I feel right now, I know there will be grace in the morning. Grace enough that we'll all find many blessings to count. There will be many stories read, and lots of cuddles. A day to just be together, nurturing one another.

Trouble in this Life

Photographic Print: Worried Man
by Andre Burian

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

People's New Testament Commentary on John 16:33: Be of good cheer. The world can only afflict for a season; it is a conquered world; Christ has overcome it.

Beth's appointments went well yesterday. Her doctor, prepared when she walked in to push the cancer drug, saw that Beth's swelling was considerably down, and that Beth could jump on both legs, straighten them, and walk reasonably well.

She responded, "You must have poured on the prayer." What a relief and thank you for praying along with us!

Beth's white blood cell count was elevated twice in a row (Feb. and late April), which usually indicates infection. We were sick frequently in late winter, early spring; Beth suffered three colds that I remember--one accompanied by viral bronchitis. She also had two dental cavities and seasonal allergies. I'm hoping all these things, in combination with increased swelling in her knees during those months, elevated her white blood cell counts (between 4,000 and 11,000 is normal; her's were around 24,000). Leukemia can cause an elevation too--one very good reason not to ignore abnormal readings. We'll have the blood test repeated soon. 

Her arthritis-associated eye inflammation is gone. Again, thank you for praying.

Her strasbismus (lazy eyes) have worsened (unrelated to arthritis). If her glasses for an astigmatism don't correct the strasbismus by the end of summer, she'll need surgery to straighten her gaze. Her ophthalmologist is famous for this; people from all over the world come to him for strasbismus surgery, so if she needs it, she's in good hands. While an uncorrected astigmatism can lead to lazy eye, it's most likely inherited in Beth's case. My paternal grandmother had a bad case of it.

Of my four children Beth seems to have gotten the worse of the inherited conditions, Peter excepted.

I was on cloud nine for a time after the appointment, but sad for all those who left children's hospital the same day, with heartbreaking news. Each visit there I'm reminded that so many children have serious issues. Every parent I see potentially spent time crying themselves to sleep, or sickening themselves with worry. So leaving with good news for Beth is bittersweet.

How does God choose who gets the bad news, and who gets the good? Do you ever wonder that?

All illness and disease is a result of the sin curse, but God can change the course of a body's inherited or acquired condition. Prayer can change the course, but only if God decides that healing from prayer will bring more hearts to him than the divine grace to endure.

He's all about bringing hearts to himself, and he desires that same focus from us.

My troubles don't end with Beth's conditions, or with Peter's. The front storm glass door no longer latches properly. It was bad for awhile, but now it's worse. And yesterday we realized our shower is leaking; the shower pipes need to be replaced. Taking a bath this morning instead and trying to wash my hair that way? Not convenient. And don't even ask about the toilets, one of which badly needs replaced.

So much of life is not convenient. And trouble comes in batches. You've probably noticed that? Perhaps this makes His lessons sink in better?

I have a side note for you on the trouble we bring on ourselves. Not all trouble is random. When my husband lost his job in 2009, he found part-time work fairly quickly, and then a second part-time job. But still, we could only make credit card payments for one year after that. Then we had to default in order to eat, make the house payment, and keep up with repairs on our home and our old cars. Two years later there are lawsuits to contend with. Even for a balance as low as $1200, a credit card agency will sue, depending on the company. Some choose to sell the bad debt instead. Don't believe it if you hear they don't bother suing.

When things get tight financially, God will provide for your needs, but not for your credit balances. He allows them to default to discipline you. He hates debt and you'd do well to pay all your balances down to zero. His discipline in this area is humiliating and extremely stressful. And avoidable!

Now back to my main theme regarding how to overcome more general, random trouble--not that anything is really random.

How Believers handle the inconveniences and heartaches of life determines how many hearts draw close to Him. No, God doesn't need us to save souls. But He prefers to use us. And why? When using us gets messy and comes with delays? 

For His glory. His glory is magnified through His work in us.

Whatever troubles you have, take heart and be willing to say to the Lord, as Mary did:

Luke 1:38
"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her. 

In the midst of trouble we are never without comfort. Because of Christ's blood, which reconciled us to our Father, we have the Comforter. The Holy Spirit. Draw close to Him and know the comfort that is your inheritance. Don't leave it uncollected.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."