Finally Some Pictures

AWANA derby cars. These won first and second place in design.

 

 Husband worked overtime and bought us another camera. The other broke after Thanksgiving so I haven't posted pictures in several months. Catching up just a little today.

 

I fought a four-day migraine off and on and got behind on a lot of chores, so I'm refraining from regular posting until I catch up.

 

We also saw the ENT and found out that Beth's tonsils and adenoids both need to come out in July. She's at definite risk of sleep apnea because the tonsils are nearly a four, the maximum size. It will be so nice to see her breathing normally again, but this surgery can be a long recovery if the child refuses to drink a lot up front.  Miss Beth is a terrible patient--she just withdraws into herself from the trauma of the whole thing and refuses to drink. I will try slurpees and popsicles and a whole lot of prayer.

 

I was dismayed to learn that she has to go 20 days without any arthritis medicine to prevent a bleeding episode (ten days before and 10 days after surgery). I hate the thought of her well-controlled arthritis becoming a problem again. With God's grace though, this break from medicine could go well. It all depends on what God has for us, and on our choice to have an open hand to all he has for us, both pleasant and otherwise.

 

I had to practice that open-handedness while down with migraines.



Paul's jubilant jump when he found out he won first place in derby car design.

A salamander found on a recent nature field trip.

Rose-breasted grosbeak, a rare find for us.

hikers and nature seekers

You don't see California-mountain majestic beauty here in Ohio, but there's plenty of everyday beauty.

All are happy after the AWANA awards assembly.

 

It's plenty hot here this week, but this one of Beth was taken on an April nature hike.

My Mary also on an April hike.

Blessings to Give thanks for....

...the air conditioner wasn't broken afterall. Maybe it was the 7 loads of laundry I did on a hot day, that popped the breaker?

...quality library programs

...a fun church picnic

...a fun backyard barbecue at the AWANA leaders' house, at which my kids jumped their hearts out on the trampoline.

...the migraine subsided

...a good doctor for my Beth

...Beth, age 4 years, 5 months, self-weaning with nary a tear from either of us. It happened so naturally and beautifully and both of us were apparently ready. I'm sure there'll be a handful of nursings left as there's still a little milk to be had, but she remembers it less and less, sometimes going three days without asking. I give thanks to a glorious God for 12 years of nearly continuous nursing. I will look back on them as the best years of my life. I had my difficulties at first with each child, with Beth having the hardest time learning to nurse (one whole month!), but the rewards and blessings far outweigh those early, anxious, desperate tears. (4 years old is the average world-wide age for children to self-wean.)

 

The Perfect Dinner Table

I love advocating for the family dinner because I've experienced the blessing of this precious time, no matter the season of life. And I hate what the extra-curricular craze has done to the family. 

The problem is not the sports (or activities) themselves, but the anti-family organizations that make up the weekly schedules. As parents we need to learn to say no, since two children or more in sports at the same time is way too hectic for anyone, unless the children choose the same sport (activity) with the same schedule.

Limiting your children and yourself to a bare minimum of evening events (hopefully preserving 5-6  family dinners weekly) may seem hard, but when you decide that your goal is legacy parenting, not popular parenting, it becomes easier to set limits. 

Too much running around makes for a less healthy diet, a messier house, and grumpier families who aren't bonding.

Today I have some research to share.

~ Teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and much less likely to have substance abuse problems.

~ Today only about half of American teenagers say they have regular family dinners, and 34% of those meals are fast food.

~ Teens having family dinners five or more times a week were 42 percent less likely to drink alcohol, 59 percent less likely to smoke cigarettes, and 66 percent less likely to try marijuana.

~ Frequent family dinners were associated with better school performance, with teens 40 percent more likely to get A's and B's.

~  Family dinners were the most important family events in helping children develop language skills.


Family Dinner Tips:

~ Have coloring books, Playdoh, or building toys nearby for the preschoolers.

~ Go through the book of Proverbs over and over in short nightly chunks. Small chunks are conducive to larger families with small children, and the repetition over time will help the lessons sink into the heart.

~ Don't force children to eat. These struggles ruin the atmosphere and give your children unhealthy power over you, which could work into eating disorders later. And a related tip: Don't be a short order cook, but do try to keep meals appetizing to youngsters. No, I don't mean a steady diet of pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs and macaroni. But can you put in some pleasers each week, like tacos and spaghetti? And if the main dish doesn't please, can you put in side dishes they particularly like?

~ Don't worry about being a gourmet cook or presenting something new all the time. But if you need inspiration and help with organization, you could use a menu service that includes weekly recipes and grocery lists for a nominal fee. Here are three choices:

~ Here is a menu mailer service from Saving Dinner.com 
~ Menus4 Moms 
~ MomsMenuPlanner.com

~ If you don't want to use a menu planner, but you aren't particularly organized either, you might try rotating the same 10 - 12 meals so that your grocery list remains pretty much the same, with the exception of seasonal produce. You won't forget important ingredients and you're more likely to have what you need when you need it.

Family Dinner Questions (to rotate):

~ When did you think about God today? What made you think of Him?

~ What are you thankful for today?

~ What favorite verse or quote did you learn or read?

~ Name one new thing you learned.

~ Name one amazing thing you noticed.

~ Who blessed you today and how?

~ Who did you bless today?

~ What made you especially happy today?

~ Did anything make you sad?

~ Did God bring someone to your mind who needs prayer?  

~ Did God bring something to your mind that you need to change about yourself?


"The Perfect Dinner Table", by Edgar Guest

A tablecloth that's slightly soiled
Where greasy little hands have toiled;
The napkins kept in silver rings,
And only ordinary things
From which to eat, a simple fare,
And just the wife and kiddies there,
And while I serve, the clatter glad
Of little girl and little lad
Who have so very much to say
About the happenings of the day.

Four big round eyes that dance with glee,
Forever flashing joys at me,
Two little tongues that race and run
To tell of troubles and of fun;
The mother with a patient smile
Who knows that she must wait awhile
Before she'll get a chance to say
What she's discovered through the day.
She steps aside for girl and lad
Who have so much to tell their dad.

Our manners may not be the best;
Perhaps our elbows often rest
Upon the table, and at times
That very worst of dinner crimes,
That very shameful act and rude
Of speaking ere you've downed your food,
Too frequently, I fear, is done,
So fast the little voices run.
Yet why should table manners stay
Those tongues that have so much to say?

At many a table I have been
Where wealth and luxury were seen,
And I have dined in halls of pride
Where all the guests were dignified;
But when it comes to pleasure rare
The perfect dinner table's where
No stranger's face is ever known:
The dinner hour we spend alone,
When little girl and little lad
Run riot telling things to dad.

A Tribute to Inspire Mothers Everywhere

Tuesday isn't typically a posting day for me, but I wanted to share a tribute letter 29-year-old Sarah Clarkson wrote to her mother, Sally Clarkson, for Mother's Day. This portrait of Sally reminds us to live bravely as mothers, to boldly embrace life's offerings and have as our constant companion, God's grace. God's grace (love, faithfulness, joy, covering) is our strength. It is the love, the smile, the affirming nod that allows us to go forward, chartering new and beautiful and awe-inspiring territory.

I link to Sarah's letter for another reason, too. Of all the online writing I encounter, I find Sarah's prose the most beautiful, on par with Ann Voskamp's but easier to read. They are equals. Words are just to communicate, true, but when a gifted person weaves them together exquisitely, reading them is just as beautiful an experience as sitting at the base of the most beautiful mountain in the world, the scent of the wildflowers bringing joy to our noses, our eyes watching the amazing bees buzz and pollinate before us, feeling the breeze on our bare arms, and squinting in the sun at God's expanse of a mountain and its gorgeous companion lake. The whole scene reminding us of His great love affair with us, The Church.  

When we search out beauty, we find God. There's no other explanation for the beauty offered in nature. And there's no other explanation for the beauty we see in some people. God gifts us in different ways so that we all reflect some aspect of His character.

When Ann and Sarah write, it is as though God is speaking the beauty, as much as He speaks it with wildflowers and lakes and mountains. There are many talented non-Christian poets and author's, but the most beautiful pieces I encounter are always from people who love God...who call Him their strength and their song.

And it's no wonder.

Monday Blessings

Now is the time for blessings. Really, really, really time to count and give thanks for the beautiful, because there's plenty that's hard.

Last Sunday night Paul's asthma attack kept me up, and last night it was Beth and her coughing fits, twice making her vomit. Her methotrexate is an immuno-suppressant drug that makes it hard to get over illnesses, and she's also suffering from seasonal allergies.

Anyway, holding her at a sixty degree angle all night so the post-nasal drip would stop making her cough, while she thrashed about trying to lie flat, felt like a CIA torture chamber. Every time I would nod off she would have another coughing spasm. I decided against cough medicine because her cough was productive and I knew her body was trying to prevent pneumonia.

And of course you know it's always a cruel joke the way they perk up in the morning, after keeping you up all night with their cold symptoms. You think it will be a sick day and you'll read storybooks and watch thrift store movies under blankets with bowls of popcorn by your side.

But no, by day they're energizer bunnies, at least until 3 PM, at which time they fall apart emotionally, about the same time you're falling apart.

But God.

Always, there's beauty. Even in this portrait of maternal misery. Grace, that is. Children remind us that nothing's all that bad. That the sun comes out in the morning. That every day is new, fresh. That in all things, we can give thanks.

Thank you, Father, for these graces and blessings:

~ Paul went all day Sunday not needing his inhaler

~ The children presenting me with their exquisite handmade Mother's Day gifts, setting my heart all aflutter.

~ A chocolate pie for dessert

~ The little autistic boy I work with in the church nursery sitting in my lap, finally, and letting me look at books with him. I had to grab him, literally. The pressure of touch allows him to concentrate somehow, whereas otherwise he just wanders around the nursery aimlessly, ignoring everybody and touching the walls and the textures. He seems to need constant physical stimuli. He didn't want me to read the books, but he pointed to each letter of the alphabet and identified them! He doesn't speak otherwise, but he said each letter so that I could discern his speech. God spoke to me while little Rowan sat in my lap, his hair smelling so fresh and clean. If we take the time to really understand, there are no disabilities, just differences.

~ Peter reading book after book to little Ashton, the music pastor's daughter, in the nursery yesterday.

~ Beautiful children's fall and summer clothing finds at the thrift store

~ Husband showering Beth, again, while I took care of the vomit sheets.

~ None of the other children waking up, miraculously, when Momma shouted, "Help...she's throwing up! Please get me a throw-up bowl!"

~A jewel of a movie, very old, found at the thrift store and set in 1903, called So Dear to my Heart about a little boy in love with a pet lamb he takes to the county fair. So heartwarming.

~ A son excited about what the earth will yield from tiny seeds. And the miracle of the seed bringing us awe year after year.

~ Seeds representing the hope God asks from us as we wake each day. Dedicate the day to Me and watch me grow something beautiful out of it.

A Mother's Day Devotional

2 Corinthians 12:9 so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God's power.

I love the idea of Mother's Day. It's a day to honor both the mother and her sacred calling.

The day, in my mind, is filled with images of special teas or special, relaxing lunches. Those never happen to me, but Mother's Day still reminds me of them. I think of bouquets of wild flowers picked with tiny, eager hands. Of hand-written notes scribbled with devotion and unfailing love.

Something like the latter happens here, in the form of construction paper Mother's Day projects, colorful weeds picked from various corners of the yard, and busy hands and heads thinking several days before what they can put together that would be extra special.

Sometimes, okay most of the time, the projects just create more work for me, like the paints that still sat on the dining room table at 6:45 PM last evening, just as dinner was ready. Not to mention the glue stick film on the table, and the stray pieces of tape sticking to the wood floor. I have the patience for these things of course, but it's a conscious choice to be gracious.

I don't always choose graciousness while scraping pieces of tape off the wood floor, but on the day before Mother's Day, it's just easier.

I'm still in the trenches here so the day itself is never ideal. Sometimes, Mother's Day is downright rotten. There are still the dishes and the loads of laundry. Mud still gets tracked in on rainboots. Clothes I painstakingly fluffed and hung in the boys' room still manage to find their way onto the floor of the closet--at least on Peter's side.

We all have an idea of the mother we want to be; it's awfully hard to shake that ideal. It haunts us when special circumstances render us everyday failures.

When you can't succeed no matter how hard you try, what's the answer?

Ephesians 3:16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being

First, let me tell you what's not the answer. Slay the following and lay them at the Lord's feet:

~ envy
~ pride
~ disillusionment
~ blaming

Motherhood is noble, even when we feel like failures at it.
Motherhood is a blessing, even when it threatens to kill us early.
Motherhood is for us, even if we're lacking the qualities we think we need.

Motherhood is bigger than any individual mother. It is hard and it's noble and we are blessed to be called to it by our Heavenly Father. And if you've never conceived, you can still be a mother to someone who never had a loving mother. There are many girls and women who need to be mothered, still. A mother isn't just someone who conceives, but someone who tenderly sacrificies her desires for another and never stops believing it's worth it.

The best mother is not the one in ideal circumstances..."normal" children, good health, good income, plenty of support. The more ideal the circumstances, the more the P word rears its ugly head. Pride. A prideful person is rarely admirable in anything, so if want to be admirable, we certainly shouldn't waste time envying women in ideal circumstances.

So...what kind of mother is ideal? What kind of mother can we look up too, and strive to be like?

Just today...a very trying day...it came to me. 

An ideal mother dusts herself off after an ugly day and wakes up the next morning with joy, rather than dread. She knows what saves her. Something bigger than her. Something farther reaching in power and scope than what she's capable of on her best day.

Grace.

Yes, the ideal mother knows grace, intimately.

She opens her hands to the free gift. To the saving rope that keeps her from drowning.

Failure does not define her. It rolls off of her. Discouragement does not rule her, it only prompts her. Prompts her to accept it again and again, with a smile....Grace.

Children don't need a perfect mother who never yells, who never gets ugly when her work is spoiled by mud or laziness. They don't need a mother who never locks herself in the bathroom to cry.

Our children need a mother who knows Grace. Who happily grabs that saving rope, immediately, and gives thanks for it.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

The worst thing we can do is let our failures define us, discourage us, and take the wind from our sails. Satan loves to upset the mother, for he knows that much rides on her ability to love. Discouragement takes us inward, not outward. It makes us selfish, not sacrificial.

When we're doing it in our own strength, we know discouragement, intimately.

The wind in our sails is not our own striving, but His Grace.

Grace is Jesus cleansing us. Grace is power. Grace is strength. Grace is ability we don't have. Grace is even joy.

It's the wind in our motherly sails, so catch it today and every day.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength


Edgar Guest Poem

"Where's Mamma"

Comes in flying from the street;
"Where's Mamma?"
Friend or stranger thus he'll greet:
"Where's Mamma?"
Doesn't want to say hello,
Home from school or play he'll go
Straight to what he wants to know:
"Where's Mamma?"
Many times a day he'll shout,
"Where's Mamma?"
Seems afraid that she's gone out;
"Where's Mamma?"
Is his first thought at the door--
She's the one he's looking for,
And he questions o'er and o'er,
"Where's Mamma?"
Can't be happy till he knows:
"Where's Mamma?"
So he begs us to disclose
"Where's Mamma?"
And it often seems to me,
As I hear his anxious plea,
That no sweeter phrase can be: "Where's Mamma?"
Like to hear it day by day;
"Where's Mamma?"
Loveliest phrase that lips can say:
"Where's Mamma?"
And I pray as time shall flow,
And the long years come and go,
That he'll always want to know
"Where's Mamma?"

sniff sniff..love that poem

Happy Mother's Day, my dear friends!