Homeschool and Mother's Journal Oct 11

In my life this week…

I love, love, love this life. But let me tell you, I'm as busy as 2009 when I had newborn and toddler girls, and 5- and 7-year-old boys. Having a first grader again has changed everything. Mary, age 6, has a full load compared to her kindergarten year. I teach until 5 PM sometimes between her subjects and the boys' writing, spelling, math, and novel discussions.

I try to give my 4yo forty-five minutes of formal learning a day, plus read-alouds, but it's hard to fit it all in. Thankfully my preschooler does well despite my lack of time. She knows her sounds except for a few vowel mix-ups, so she should start blending sounds by early next year.

The tub stopped draining this week and the water softener began to back up into the tub. Things got so bad I had to use a bucket to empty the tub before every shower (there are 6 of us).

So much fun, let me tell you.

As I bucketed each day, I remembered that in the third world many walk five miles a day for clean water. So really, what had I to complain about?

I needed an extra task to keep me out of trouble, I suppose? :)

I have to admit, when the dishwasher went out in late April, I wondered how I would fit doing dishes the long way into my busy life. Now, I can't imagine spending the money on a dishwasher ever again. It does take a chunk of my time each day, but doing dishes is second nature to me now. Women have always adjusted through the ages to whatever housekeeping environment God arranged for them. I can do no less, with his Grace.

It's all part of learning the difference between wants and needs. In the first world we lose sight of that distinction so easily, to our detriment.

And now back to the tub drain....

No, Beth, the word snake, when used in the plumbing world, does not mean a slithering snake gets stuffed down the drain to find your lost toys.

We just had the drain snaked back in February, so this was surely some small toy caught in the drain, and not just your usual hair clog.

No way was another $118 plumbing bill going to fit in the budget, so outside the grace of God, I had another 4 months of bucketing water to look forward. There would be no extra money until late February.

But God is full of grace. And he wants me home with my children, not working so we can afford household repairs.

Someone at husband's work heard him talking about our drain. The man said he had done many favors for a plumber friend of his, and he would call his friend and have him come to our house for free.

Good deed done, as of 3:30 today.

God is so good, and shame on us for ever thinking "there's no way". He doesn't promise to provide all our wants, but our needs? He's faithful to provide those as long as we seek first His Kingdom in our daily living.

In our homeschool this week…

Two good primary social studies books I wanted to share this week are: White Water, by Michael S. Bandy and Eric Stein, and Peppe The Lamplighter by Elisa Bartone.





White Water depicts a heartbreaking time in our history when blacks and whites had to use separate drinking fountains, separate sections of the bus, and blacks were called on to give up their seats to whites. This tender, poignant book teaches so much without being wordy or complicated. An excellent history choice for primary grades.

Peppe the Lamplighter tells the story of a young boy growing up on Mulberry Street in Little Italy, during a hard economy. He got a job lighting the neighborhood street lamps--a thrilling job for a little boy--and yet his father grows ashamed of him. He imagines his boy becoming a street figure instead of a doctor or lawyer. In the end, he learns to be a proud father. (And Momma, you won't get through it with dry eyes. A very good read!)

A good primary health choice is I Know Why I Brush My Teeth, by Kate Rowan. Your little one just might take dental health seriously after this book.




This week we've also enjoyed The 20th Century Children's Poetry Treasury.



My boys, ages 9 and 11, via Sonlight, are learning about the Eastern Hemisphere this year. Each country visited includes a non-fiction book, a fiction book, and some research with the World Book DVD ROM. The fiction selection for Australia, Red Sand Blue Sky, got a number of bad reviews from Christian parents, regarding being published by The Feminist Press, and having a Girls First logo on the front. I always preread the Sonlight reviews and Amazon reviews before buying any Sonlight books. Last spring when making selections, I decided not to buy this one.



However, I couldn't find other fiction featuring Australia to take its place (and I imagine Sonlight couldn't either). While not originally so, it's true that it's now published by The Feminist Press, and does have a "Girls First" logo, which I covered with a sticker. I hated having to buy this book, but I've found that fictional accounts lead to greater retention of historical and political information, especially for the elementary set.

Sonlight is an excellent company so please don't let this turn you off. 95% of what they assign is outstanding, exemplary literature--unforgettable literature, in fact. As a parent it's our job to pre-read everything to make sure it's okay for our family, no matter what company we choose. We're still responsible before God for what comes into our home (and into our children's hearts).

Anyhow, the book arrived in the mail on Monday and I finished it by Wednesday. The boys started it today. The writing isn't great but it does discuss complicated problems in Australia's past, as well as the heartbreaking nature of racial prejudice. The female characters, not surprisingly, are stronger than some of the male ones, but all in all it isn't harmful when read with adult guidance, and balanced with excellent literature all around.

The boys are also using Sonlight Science F (Health, Medicine and Human Anatomy), four books of which deal with serious anatomy. One of them includes worksheets on which the boys must label complicated body parts--something I thought might make them groan. However, the boys seem to be enjoying the sheets and never ask if they can skip them. They mispronounce many of the body parts, like the aorta, but I'm helping with that (with a private chuckle or two as they butcher these words). High-school level anatomy will be a breeze when we get there.

Sonlight Science F also comes with a Christian book on puberty called Almost 12, which is excellent and glorifying to God.




It also happens to go wonderfully with what Peter is covering in AWANA this week as well:

1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

The AWANA company added their own one-page insight about honoring God with our bodies in the midst of peer pressure, which was excellent.

My favorite thing this week was…

1. God proving to me once again that He is powerful, mighty, full of grace, and he PROVIDES.

2. Peter, age 11, cleaned my outside windows with a long-armed squeegee. He blessed my socks off, even though it's not a professional job by any means.

3. A 69-year-old friend from church brought dinner for us on Wednesday...a delicious pasta dish she cooked all day in the crock pot with yellow squash, zucchini, finely-chopped steak, carrots, etc. It was wonderful and the kids were so excited to see her. Beth said, "Mommy, I know this lady! I've seen her at church." She just wanted to bless me because I work in children's ministry at our church. Cheryl's a fellow migraine sufferer and a prayer partner for that issue, and this weekend is the one-year mark for our friendship. I met her at last year's church fellowship chili cook off, and this weekend brings the church chili cook off again...already! A fast year!

My kiddos favorite thing this week was…

Today Paul, age 9, decided he would be the resident art teacher. He planned and executed a painting lesson, and then added snack time and sports into his class time as well. I listened from afar and it confirmed for me once again that Paul has the gift of teaching. He even gave art prizes for different elements in the paintings.

The siblings enjoyed their time together, and even though 4yo Beth kept interrupting, Paul managed well and I was tickled.

Things I’m working on…

...Fitting in a classic novel read-aloud for my first grader. She still enjoys picture books and I still use them a lot for history and science, but she really needs a daily dose of classic big-kid literature as well. So far we've gone through Little House novels, the Mrs. Piggle Wiggles and a few others, but there's so much more on my shelf I want to share with her! With God's grace I'll find enough hours in the day for all best practices...reading classic literature aloud is a definite best practice. The boys have enjoyed novels with us for years.

I’m cooking…

tacos
chili
baked whole chicken
homemade chicken noodle soup ( a family favorite)
navy bean soup with ham
pumpkin pancakes (my personal favorite dinner...or breakfast :)

And we're baking this week: baked oatmeal, homemade cinnamon rolls

Need a bit of advice on my broth: I make homemade broth from chicken bones, adding enough water to cover the bones, and letting it simmer in a stock pot overnight, or in the crockpot overnight. The next morning I put it in the fridge to let the fat collect on top. That night I skim the fat and make chicken noodle soup with the broth and leftover baked chicken pieces.

My question is...is the broth considered concentrated, and can I put some in the fridge or freezer for another kind of soup, and water down the rest of the broth for my chicken soup? Thank you in advance for your broth wisdom!

I usually use the broth full strength and always end up wishing I had some available for other soups.

I’m grateful for…

~ a houseful of kids

~ good literature

~ the blessing of knowledge

~ consistent morning devotions (consistency has taken us some years, but we're finally there)

~ my four year old's sweet prayers

~ bedside, on-your-knees prayers with little ones

~ the major cyclone set to strike India won't hit our Compassion correspondent child's area

~ pumpkin-based foods

~ staying caught up on the clothes folding this week

~ steadfast husband

~ steady school progress

~ limiting neighbor children's visits has worked wonders for my stress level the past 3 days

A quote to share...


Proverbs 14:26 He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.

Thank you for reading here today. And how was your week?

Bless you in your secure fortress, my friends!

In Which I Share My Worst Parenting Day

I don't know how to begin this post except to say: parenting is shockingly hard.

Bedtime's been a nightmare around here the past few months. The boys have always shared a room peacefully, but lately they play off each other in waves of mischief, sometimes lasting an hour.

Silliness at teeth brushing, scaring each other after lights out, throwing clothes, giggling. A whole slew of consequences haven't changed a thing, with Peter being the instigator most of the time, and Paul allowing himself to be led astray.

Just when Mom and Dad are feeling the most spent, comes the worst part of the day. These boys are old enough to be more sensitive to their parents' exhaustion.

Last night, after problems with neighbor kids just hours before, I was so. done. with. child. rearing. So beyond exasperated. Peter got the rare spanking, which he's really two years too old for. I didn't do it, I confess, because I thought it was the answer, but because in my exhaustion and exasperation, I wanted to punish him for the stress he causes night after night.

Whenever a spanking is given to punish, either consciously or subconsciously, it's never good parenting. It's broken parenting. Our aim as Christian parents is to shepherd, not punish. Punishing--outside of a civic, societal function--is about getting back at someone, not redirecting them toward righteousness.

A calmly-given spanking can be part of good parenting, I do believe, but I wasn't calm (don't worry though--there's not a mark on him).

After all were asleep, I was heartbroken and empty. I wanted real answers, not just grace. I knew if I sat down and recited the 23rd Psalm and prayed, and quietly let the Holy Spirit minister to me, I would recover.

But I wanted more than recovery...I wanted all the trouble to disappear. I wanted beautiful nights of parenting, executed as gracefully as an expert ballet performance. A true art form.

My husband is gone 12 hours a day Monday through Friday, and 6 hours on Saturday, which leaves me with a full-to-the-brim load. The lower your income is the more hours you need to work (and sometimes the higher your income and responsibility, the more you need to work).

With the homeschooling, the chores, the various disorders represented here, and the neighbors who congregate here by the threes after 3:30 PM, while I'm trying to put school supplies away, switch laundry, do dishes, and make dinner...well, it's too much.

My kids behave better when they play with just each other, so in the healing time last night, as I asked for real answers, it came to me that it was quite reasonable to limit the neighbor childrens' visits to just the weekend, when my husband is available to watch everyone outside. He loves the outdoors anyway, and with perimenopausal upheaval happening to me when I least expect it, I simply can't pack my days as full as before, and maintain the same level of sanity.

Being in the middle of this, I'd say it's probably easier to go through menopause when your kids are young, verses when they're teens and in upheaval themselves. One of the blessings to having kids later in life?

I suspect so.

My boys tend to rush through their afternoon school to be done in time for the neighbor children's inevitable knocks. Yesterday I had Lexie insist she wanted to hang around our yard while we finished school. She even went into our shed, making herself at home with Peter's pet snake, and later staring into our window, checking on our progress. I felt so invaded and the kids couldn't concentrate; the boys made terrible spelling errors.

We had an ADHD/OCD pediatrician appointment, and a library stop, both of which slowed us down and made school go later.

Lexie went on to entice my six year old into a tree that was way too large for her to handle, prompting me to send all the kids home. It took me telling Lexie four times before she would leave the yard. I was terribly exasperated, but I also had compassion on her mom, because if she's this bad over here, she's far worse at home.

It occurred to me, too, that as a parent I would never send my children to the same house day after day, expecting the mom there to watch her own kids as well as mine. That's just rude and yet these parents have done it for over a year, never checking on their own kids or asking if I mind the nearly-daily invasion.

I don't allow my children to visit neighbors' yards or houses, in fact, because I think a parent-extended invitation is important, and because there are no Christian parents on this street anyway.

The Holy Spirit brought other solutions to my mind, too, such as putting one boy in the master bedroom until both are asleep, and the one can be carried back to his own bed. It's not ideal, but it should help. Also, Peter will be given time to read in bed to help him relax and stay out of mischief, and he'll be allowed to sleep later in the morning to compensate.

Today has gone far better so far, even with speech appointments interrupting us again.

During morning devotions I read aloud some commentary on our Matthew passage:

Commentary from Life Application Study Bible on Matthew 13:8, pg 1674:

This parable should encourage spiritual "sowers"-- those who teach, preach, and lead others. The farmer sowed good seed, but not all the seed sprouted, and even the plants that grew had varying yields. Don't be discouraged if you do not always see results as you faithfully teach the Word. Belief cannot be forced to follow a mathematical formula (i.e., a 4:1 ratio of seeds planted to seeds sprouted). Rather, it is a miracle of God's Holy Spirit as he uses your words to lead others to him.

I choked up reading this, on the morning after my hardest day. Children, in other words, will not necessarily show fruit in direct proportion to our evangelism and discipleship efforts--neither our own children or the neighbor children. But our words do matter. Our obedience matters.

It may seem to me that my boys should be more sensitive to Mom's and Dad's feelings at their ages, but God is working through the Word, and through our discipleship, nevertheless. Our home may not be spilling with spiritual fruit right now, but I believe every passage we read, everything we teach, everything we model (yikes!), will shape their hearts for life.

So often with parenting, the rewards come later. So often as Christians, in fact, the rewards come later. It's hard to labor day after day, knowing the rewards are far removed.

But in the meantime there is grace. There's wisdom freely given to the prayer warrior.

There's a quiet Savior whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light, who quiets me by his love.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So, how was your parenting day?

Prayer for a Weary Mom After a Long Day

Exodus 15:2 The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

A prayer for the weary mom who packs so much into a day, 10 PM finds her a wired ball of stress...too agitated for bedtime.

Dear Heavenly Father,

You are an awesome God, abounding in love. We praise your holy name! We love you and we thank you for the gift of abundant life, for forgiveness, mercy, grace. We thank you for our families. Thank you for the ministry that is children. Thank you for the cuddles and the giggles and the silly jokes. Thank you for the healthy, growing bodies. May we stop and give thanks, we mothers, even on the hard days when everyone squabbles and the volume rises. May we run the race with grace and patience, knowing that the fruit of our labor is guaranteed by your partnership with us, and by our obedience to your will. May we model obedience and self-sacrifice, love and faith, mercy and wisdom. Fill us up now with your Holy Spirit, and give us a restful sleep, quieted by your love.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

A Prayer for Monday

2 Chronicles 15:7
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.

A prayer for Monday:

Dear Heavenly Father, 

We thank you for Mondays and for all new beginnings. Thank you for your graciousness in loving us and counseling and comforting us through your Holy Spirit. You are all we need, Father. May we be strong and not give up. May we be consistent in our Bible reading and prayer. May we live for you today, making your purpose our own. May we face challenges head on with you by our side. Give us your wisdom and mercy...your continued grace and favor. May our hearts be glad and grateful, looking for your gifts everywhere. Keep us from temptation; may the world not stain our hearts or weaken our resolve. May we keep our eyes on Heaven, on you, and on our reward. 

In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

A Saturday for Him

Saturday morning. We should have a spring in our step that day, yes? The end of a hard week and usually some guaranteed relaxation, even for moms who still have laundry and dishes and spills staring us in the face.

I wanted to have a spring this morning...some extra joy. I wanted to give glory to God with my gratitude, but I struggled for hours.

We used to do our neighborhood Children's Bible Study every Saturday during the school year, but when summer arrived we changed it to every other week. We'd planned to go back to every Saturday this fall, but the children's ministry job cropped up for me, so I told the neighbors we needed to keep it to every other week.

But then life happens and we had to do it two weeks in a row to accommodate a trip to the Apple Orchard (still haven't been there due to weather...hoping for next Sat.).

So I awoke this morning with housekeeping and delegating hanging over my head, and my husband, as usual, working until 1:30 PM on Saturday.

The nothing-to-look-forward-to blues hit me hard and my thanks were few. The neighbor kids have multiple issues making them high maintenance; I didn't want to see them today, much less prepare my heart or home for them.

Yesterday, one of them, the girl about whom I frequently write, told Peter she wanted him to dig up the dead hamster's body so she could see it. He refused and told her she was crazy. She pouted and kept insisting but eventually she dropped it.

Peter didn't share this with me until this morning, and of course I was furious with her selfish, shocking nonsense. My heart was insistent that I don't owe this crazy girl a thing, and I'm sick of the whole business.

So I cleaned the house with a pout in my heart for a couple hours, and then the Holy Spirit dealt with me.

Whose life is this anyway? Yours, or mine? Whose Saturday is it...yours, or mine? Didn't I suffer on a tree, separated from my Father, to give you life? Aren't you bought and paid for? That crazy girl matters to me. Her soul matters to me. I expect you to live for me and get ready to serve these children this afternoon, with a smile in your heart.

Well, I didn't exactly have a smile in my heart, but I managed to finish cleaning and delegating and preparing the rest of the lesson.  I practiced a smile for two crazy neighbor kids.

The young lady arrived an hour early because her mother and grandmother went shopping.

Wonderful. I wasn't ready, and it looked like I was babysitting. My attitude flared again and I kept practicing that smile.

Fast forward two hours and the study is over. My kids and the neighbor kids are outside playing football with my husband. I watched them play in the muddy yard, a light rain dropping.

I saw such joy.

Neither of these children have a father in their lives, and that football game delighted them. The fellowship, the exuberance, the smiles...it was all perfect. God was glorified in that scene and I realized for the thousandth time as a Christian...It's not about me. I really am bought and paid for, and my Saturdays really aren't my own.

And watching that scene as though it were a movie? Well, it delighted me. It gave me such fulfillment, seeing my Savior as the star, front and center.

The greatest joy we can possibly experience? It comes from living for Him.

He takes our obedience and in turn, He gives us Life...Abundant.


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