Homeschool and Mother's Journal Oct. 25

In my life this week…

Some day I hope to sit down here on a Thursday night or Friday afternoon and write that it was an uneventful, routine week.

But not this time.

On Thursday I developed a migraine headache that landed me in bed for most of the school day. About 14 days a month I get migraines, though not all land me in bed, depending on how fast I take a med. They used to be daily rebound migraine headaches, but I ended that cycle last spring, and now it's just a hormonally-fueled problem mixed with stress.

Imitrex is available to me now, but I'm only approved for 9 pills a month, and since I can get up to 14 headaches a month, Imitrex is not the best remedy because it definitely causes rebound headaches. I decided not to take anything this morning, hoping the headache wouldn't progress.

I went to the doctor last month for a daily preventative medicine, so that over-the-counter medicines and Imitrex would not land me back in the daily rebound headache cycle. I was given Elavil, which is an older antidepressant given off-label for migraines and chronic insomnia. While very effective for migraines, it can cause weight gain (not a good side effect for a 47-year-old woman whose metabolism is slowing anyway). If you must come off it, you may have to learn how to sleep again, which frightened me.

I took it for one day and hated the way it made me feel...tired and like a zombie emotionally, for the next two days. I gave up on it after that first dose. Of course I should have given it more time, but the sleep thing, again, frightened me. I researched the med and so many users commented that they had a horrible time getting to sleep and staying asleep after stopping this drug. If my headaches stop after menopause, which may be about 3-4 years away, I want to be able to stop this drug without problems.

If you have any experience with Elavil (amitriptyline), please share how it has helped you? Thank you! I still have it in the medicine cabinet and I'm praying about trying it again.

My ADHD son needs routine and this headache episode caused stressful behavior problems for the rest of the day. Still, the boys are old enough to resume several subjects without me, which is a blessing. I didn't teach my 6 year old a single lesson, so it felt like a totally wasted day, leaving me more stressed and behind on laundry and school.

If you homeschool with a chronic medical problem, my heart goes out to you. Give the word and I'll pray for you.

What finally worked was when my 4yo came to see me in my bed for the tenth time. She doesn't like it when Mommy is down, so she seeks my attention frequently. I told her I was still unavailable, and could she please pray for Mommy?

I heard her pray as she left the room and walked down the hall. About 20 minutes later, I felt improvement and was up after another hour!

In Our Homeschool This Week...

I read Torches of Joy this week, previewing it before the boys started it as part of our Sonlight Core F curriculum. I was amazed at God's miracles amidst these Stone Age tribes in New Guinea. It reminded me of Bruchko, which I read last semester, and of the Book of Acts. God moved in miraculous ways to further the Gospel: miracle healings such as Jesus performed, and husband and wife Dani tribe members sent as missionaries to other unreached people, equipped with faith that moved mountains. You must read this book. It's that powerful.



In the first world we don't often do brave things for the Lord. We get saved, only to keep the joy to ourselves. We forget we were saved for a purpose...a purpose larger than us. As soon as the Dani people came to Christ, they wanted to help others know the same joy. Where is that fire in our hearts, that gratitude, here in the western world? 

When I read missionary books, I'm reminded that we don't see God's full and miraculous power because we're too comfortable relying on ourselves. Would we have the faith to take off into an unreached area, risking our lives and that of our children, for the sake of the Gospel? Some missionaries die at the hands of unreached tribes, and yet their wives say "You called us here, God, and we obeyed. This is hard, but I trust you. I love you. We knew this might happen, and we were ready."

They said the same when their children died in the field.

They lived boldly like the Apostle Paul...to live is Christ, to die is gain.

I compare their experiences to my own, in my neighborhood, and I'm ashamed. In January of 2013 we started a neighborhood Bible study for children, hoping to reach the children for the Gospel, and through them, the adults. It's been hard, but nothing like the Dani missionaries experienced.

Discouragement set in right away, as three families we were praying for moved a month before we began. Didn't we hear God right, we wondered?

Other issues arose too, which took the wind from our sails, if only temporarily.

For example, a month ago I decided I had too many children's picture books, especially given that my children prefer library books with their more attractive bindings. Most of my books are paperback, purchased from Scholastic book clubs. The shelves were overstuffed and underused, and it was time to bless someone with them. I considered carefully which child in the neighborhood would most appreciate them, and decided on Anessa, 7 years old, who looks at books every time she comes here. We sent two medium-sized storage boxes full of books.

Fast forward a month. This week Anessa told my daughter that her father burned her books; she has none left. I had no reason to think she would make up such a thing, so I was devastated, angry, and disgusted. I told my husband I thought this man was dangerous, and perhaps we'd better write the family off (and just pray)?

This father lost his job about a year ago, and judging by the missing teeth, he probably has a drug background. Still, a Baptist church near us goes through this neighborhood asking if anyone wants a ride to their church. This family began going to the church, and evidently the parents got baptized a few weeks ago, which is why the daughter's admission was so disheartening. Is theirs a cult-like church? Was he a poor reader and felt jealous of his daughter's new reading skill? The books weren't controversial in the least, so I don't know what to think. But this man disgusts me, I'll say that.

Many times the Dani missionaries were disgusted by the people they went to live among and evangelize. Some were cannibals and most were dirty, not paying attention to where they left their excrement. Some were completely naked.

The Dekkers, John and Helen, were at first disgusted by the Dani people, with whom they spent 21 years.

It was as though God had me open this book at precisely the right time. I learned that I can't write this neighborhood family off. I can't let my disgust discourage my attempts to reach out and behave like Jesus would. Wasn't Jesus himself disgusted by our behavior, before he died for us?

In my wildest dreams, I'd like to be a missionary and share my joy and faith without bounds. I'd like to feel and witness the Lord's might and power as I work for his glory. I'd like to fall in love with Jesus, over and over again, with each miracle.

Maybe, just maybe, I can do it here in my neighborhood first, if I will only trust God more and get over myself? Maybe I can truly learn how to love?

We've been low-income since I quit working in 2005, and often I've wondered if I'm being forced to give up comfort for a reason, beyond just my own spiritual advancement. Yes, I'm growing spiritually by not living like everyone else. Where is this leading? Will it serve me in a mission field someday, where they certainly give up comforts for the sake of the Gospel?

Lord, build my faith and my husband's faith. Take us to greater heights of obedience to your Word. Equip us to serve you bravely.

Learning update for the children: Mary enjoyed learning about volcanoes and typhoons in her Sonlight A science curriculum. The boys are enjoying Torches of Joy, Silkworms, Born in the Year of Courage (Sonlight Core F, Eastern Hemisphere), and the final chapters of Jenny Wren. They still love their Sonlight F science curriculum, learning in depth about the human body, and this week they add in Food and Nutrition for Every Kid. I keep a tight reign on their nutrition, and I appreciate them learning precisely why it's so important.

Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…
Pray, pray, and pray again, everyday. Amen.

It's easy to homeschool when you have a quick learner working ahead of other kids. I have one of those, so I know how it feels. There's a variety here in my home, so I know what the other side feels like too. When you run into a child the same age as yours who can do more, it's easy to feel envious or insecure about your methods or your skill as a teacher.

Don't.

Recognize that God created each child unique, and ease of learning is part of their uniqueness. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't beat yourself up or begrudge your child for the slower pace. Learning pace has nothing to do with how well a person serves the Lord, and isn't that our ultimate goal? Raising children who will make serving Him and loving Him their reason for living? 

My favorite thing this week was…
I'm teaching from the Book of Matthew right now at morning devotions, and the children are learning much, along with me. The Gospels never get old and something entirely new jumps out for every believer.

My kiddos favorite thing this week was…
 ..seeing a hint of snow on Thursday morning. I heard that some parts of Ohio received nearly a foot. It seems fall, my favorite season, was here for a week, and now winter. Don't you love it when the seasons behave?

The leaves are still beautiful though, so praise God!

Things I’m working on…

Getting crockpot recipes printed out so I can make shopping lists for them.

Greater and greater obedience. Less and less of me, more and more of Him.

I’m cooking…

baked ziti, crockpot beef stew, turkey burgers, crockpot navy bean soup with ham, bowtie pasta with sausage marinara, cheesy eggs, cafe potatoes and fruit, and for the 7th thing...I don't know yet.

I’m grateful for…

~ fascinating curriculum

~ being spurred on in the faith by missionaries who relied on God for their very lives

~ children who will pray for me

~ the Word of God

~ spending all day with my children, never losing an opportunity to disciple

~ full days at home

~ serving the Lord

~ hot cocoa

~ working water heater, furnace, and washer and dryer

~ children who pray readily for our Compassion children, thinking of them as adopted siblings

~ a loving husband

~ fun time picking apples and riding a haywagon last week

A quote to share...

Luke 22:27 For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.

 

Thank you for reading. How was your week?

 

 

 

Does God Like Princesses?

"Does God like princesses?"

That's what she asked as we rocked together, cuddling a Sunday afternoon away. She wants to know all about God, this one. I don't remember the others trying so hard at the tender age of 4, to figure God out.

She wants to know where he is, if he's really and truly real, where exactly he is in her heart, where heaven is located, and does he like girls to play with their dollies all day?

She begins her prayers like this: "I love God and he's always with me. I love my dollies. Please God, help my dollies to be good. I love my family and they love me and we're always together."

She changes the rest, but this beginning stands, day after day, and we don't try to change it.

I'm so grateful she's interested. I'm so grateful she already knows this: He's always with me.

But like the rest of us, my four year old has much to learn.

We tend to focus on our performance, more than on who God is and what he's done.

Does he like princesses? Or does he prefer down-to-earth types? Does he like how much I'm giving to the church? Does he like the books I read, and the movies I borrow? What does he think of my daily schedule?

See, these are concerns about us.

Instead of wondering to what extent we're pleasing God, we need to marvel at who He is.

We need to wake up every morning and gaze at Him, not at ourselves.

It's when we get quiet and gaze at Him that we feel the full beauty and miracle of the Gospel. We feel the full weight of His love, and we love him right back...because being in His presence is the best.

The very best.

Our lives, our hearts, are His work, not ours. We're in the way, aren't we, when we look inward instead of at Him?

Let it be about relationship, not about performance.

And as parents trying to train and correct children, let's make sure grace is prevailing in our home. We want to be like Jesus to them...but sometimes we're more like performance evaluators, instead?

Their hearts need the same message: It's not about what you've done, but who He is.

Let's really feast on this verse today:

Ephesians 3:16-21 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen


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Homeschool and Mother's Journal Oct. 18

In my life this week…

It was a mixed week, some high highs and some lows. I guess most homeschool moms would say the same about a typical week?

I wrote out my testimony this week and ended up in tears many times, contemplating the richness of God's grace. Saved at age 31, I represent a small percentage of born-again Christians, as shown below:

Another survey -- by the International Bible Society -- indicated that 83% of all Christians make their commitment to Jesus between the ages of 4 and 14, that is, when they are children or early youth. The Barna Research Group surveys demonstrate that American children ages 5 to 13 have a 32% probability of accepting Christ, but youth or teens aged 14 to 18 have only a 4% probability of doing so. Adults age 19 and over have just a 6% probability of becoming Christians.
This data illustrates the importance of influencing children to consider making a decision to follow Christ.
Because the 4-14 period slice of the pie is so large, many have started referring to the "4-14 Window." Many people serving as career cross-cultural missionaries have testified that they first felt God calling them to missionary service during that 4-14 age period.

  

"The 4-14 Window: Child Ministries and Evangelism Strategies" by Dan Brewster

I'm tearfully grateful this week, is all I can say. It's important for all of us to revisit our testimony from time to time.

Though the above statistics are sobering, I believe educating our children at home maximizes their probability of accepting Christ, and developing a truly personal relationship with Him--one that will always be there for them.

The lows this week had to do with 4yo Beth's juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. She's got a bad cold which triggered more joint swelling, and her NSAID, meloxicam in suspension, was backordered until the 22nd. Checking other pharmacies only revealed how scarce it is in suspension form. Only 1 in 1000 kids get juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, so most medications for RA are in pill form for adults.

What the rheumatologist finally had to do was change her prescription and order naproxen in pill form, having the pharmacy cut the pills in half for me to crush and put in a spoon of applesauce. Naproxen was discontinued in suspension form several months ago, for some reason, and that was the beginning of our medication problems.

As I researched the various NSAIDs, I panicked at all the possible reactions and side effects, some of them fatal. Whenever a child has to be on medication, it's heartbreaking to read the pamphlets and wonder...what if? Especially when a low-dose chemo drug is in the mix as well. She's been on NSAIDs everyday for over 2 years already, and the risk for serious side effects increases with prolonged use.

Still, this disease used to put kids in wheelchairs and some went blind from the eye involvement, so medicine has come a long way. I have much to be grateful for, despite not knowing what the future holds for Beth's case.

My Counselor, the Holy Spirit, taught me, once again, that there are only a few things God holds me accountable for--such as reading the Bible, praying, and raising my children for the Lord. All the things I have no control over, such as diseases, disorders, and the strength of the economy? They are the Lord's, not mine, to carry. Peace and joy are robbed from us when we carry what isn't ours.

So on this Friday, I'm feeling lighter about the whole thing. Thank the Lord for my Counselor and Comforter!


ln our homeschool this week…

The boys are reading a hodgepodge this week, along with the regularly scheduled Sonlight F programming. I finally found the sequels for Henry Reed, Inc. in good condition, so they've been sailing through those the past couple weeks and enjoying every minute, giggling at Henry's antics and marveling at his zany intelligence.

They're also reading Jenny Wren by Dawn Watkins, published by Bob Jones University Press. ($7.49 at Christianbook.com)



It's a heartwarming, beautiful story about a welfare child, Jenny Wren, who gets passed from one foster home to another, developing attachment disorder, before coming to an elderly Christian couple who live alone on a farm, their children grown and gone. The welfare department regards the couple as too old, but God intervenes to give Jenny what her soul aches for.

At first Jenny hates it when they read from the Bible and pray at every meal, but finally, she realizes they know something about her heart that she doesn't. She falls in love with the rhythm of the farm, the wholesome food and family meals, the trees and the animals, and she not only grows to trust and love the couple, but she receives the greatest gift of all too. I won't tell you what it is, but can you guess?

I picked this up at a thrift store a couple years ago and finally pre-read it early this week, telling the boys, "You've got to read this story right away. It'll stay with you forever."

Both boys tell me daily how much they like it, and both asked me if they should take in foster kids some day. Their compassion toward Jenny warms my heart. I told them, again, that God expects a response from us regarding orphans and the poor. We're not to turn our hearts from their plight, and even if we only give money, it's something. Doing nothing is not an option.

When the boys were younger I bought used Bob Jones reading texts for two years, and I do miss those Christian stories for supplementing library reading. I've since sold those readers, but after reading this decidedly Christian story, I've decided to buy the texts again for the girls. The used copies are so inexpensive anyway. This same author, Dawn Watkins, writes short stories for the Bob Jones readers. I find her a wonderful story teller and a solid writer.

I have four Social Studies-themed picture books to share this week:

The Blessing Cup by Patricia Polacco is a companion book to The Keeping Quilt. In this book, Patricia tells about Great-Grandmother Anna's life before being forced to leave Russia in the early 1900's, along with all Jews. This brought tears to my eyes, about the riches of family, tradition, and love. Children don't always realize what a gift their family is to them, and this book will certainly change that, as well as teach a powerful history lesson about freedom and oppression (they end up in America).




Papa's Mark by Gwendolyn Battle-Lavert is about the black vote in America.



While it was guaranteed by the Fifteenth Amendment in 1870, it was many years before literacy rates for Southern Blacks made it possible to vote. Many southern whites weren't happy about the black vote, and violence was always a threat.

In this powerful story, a boy watches his father painstakingly learn to write this name, finally succeeding with the help of his young son, who stood by his father proudly, despite the threat of violence on election day. Other town blacks, afraid to go to the polls, are influenced by Papa, who becomes a symbol of courage and honor. I read this first in the library, and so many tears flowed that I had to turn away and hide from the librarians.

It's been a week of tears with books and other things---all good ones though!

Bring Me Some Apples and I'll Make You a Pie: A Story about Edna Lewis by Robbin Gourley, is about the glorious gift of homegrown food, from orchard and garden right to the table--something that's gotten lost in our culture. This book is a mesmerizing eye-opener for many, and not just children!



Publisher synopsis: Long before the natural-food movement gained popularity, before greenmarkets sprouted across the United States, Edna Lewis championed purity of ingredients, regional cuisine, and the importance of bringing food directly from the farm to the table. She was a chef when female chefs---let alone African American female chefs---were few and far between, and she received many awards for her work. With lyrical text and glorious watercolor illustrations, author/illustrator Robbin Gourley lovingly traces the childhood roots of Edna's appreciation for the bounties of nature. The story follows Edna from early spring through the growing season to a family dinner celebrating a successful harvest. Folk rhymes, sayings, and songs about food are sprinkled throughout the text, and five kid-friendly recipes and an author's note about Edna's life are included at the end.

 
The Book Boat's In by Cynthia Cotten is about floating libraries bringing literacy and learning to isolated groups during the westward expansion of the 1800's. Young Jesse's work ethic and love for books will charm many. Again, tears at the library as I read this.



Publisher Synopsis: Jesse has waited for months for the arrival of the book boat. There he finds a used copy of The Swiss Family Robinson that he desperately wants, but at twenty cents the book costs too much. After working hard, Jesse is deeply disappointed: he has only seventeen and a half cents. But his luck changes when he learns that there's another copy, which the owner will sell for just fourteen cents. This nostalgic picture book is based on the 1800s book boat that traveled along the Erie Canal. Colorful folk art-style paintings complement this book about the love of reading and the merits of hard work.

While I check out picture books for the girls' curriculum mostly (ages 4 and 6), I do require my boys (9 and 11) to listen in most of the time, as they learn much from these high-quality, powerful books, too.

Mary, age 6, is moving right along in reading, picking up more sight words and enjoying her Sing, Spell, Read & Write readers. She still struggles to distinguish b and d while sounding out words, but as with her brother Peter before her, I've learned that this takes time for some kids, despite whatever tricks we employ.

A few notes on our writing, and I'll move on. We're still enjoying Writing With Ease Level 4 by Susan Wise Bauer, but I'm supplementing it with Sonlight's dictation passages from the Sonlight Core F Eastern Hemisphere reading list, and with personal narrative journal writing and poetry writing.

The Sonlight passages are longer and more appropriate for the boys' abilities, but we still prefer the narration work given us in Writing With Ease. They come from famous, classic works like Little Women and The Phantom Tollbooth, among others. We never know what piece of literature we're going to deal with on any given day, and we find the variety exciting and intriguing. My husband read The Phantom Tollbooth a couple years ago to our boys, but this week they expressed a desire to read it again, on their own, which is fine with me! Using Writing With Ease has deepened my boys' love of literature, giving them an even greater appetite for the best, and broadening their horizons beyond what I could do on my own.


Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…

This is a hard journey, this homeschooling endeavor. A messy house coupled with three kids needing help at the same time earlier today, and a fourth child, age 4, interrupting everyone's concentration, nearly had me in tears. There will always be those intense, overwhelming moments when you want to send them all outside and lock the door so you can just get some order back to the house. Once in a while I do just that, but more often I remember that it's consistency that makes a successful homeschool (besides lots of prayer).

Clutter drives most of us crazy, yes, but it can wait until the main subjects are out of the way, and you can enlist the children's help at that time. Walk past it and keep your cool in the meantime, maintaining as consistent a schedule as you can.

My favorite thing this week was…

Writing out my testimony and watching Heidi as a family movie last Friday night, and having the privilege of sitting next to my 6 year old as she learned Psalm 23 for AWANA.

The whole thing seemed overwhelming to her on our first practice day, and she whined. I told her the Lord didn't expect her to do it in her own strength. We prayed for His help, and lo and behold, she got it that session. I love, love, love it when the Lord builds my children's faith this way.

Sometimes when I'm really struggling with something and ready to scream, like while unclogging a toilet, I'll go to all the children and ask them to pray, and immediately, the toilet behaves. I know the Lord does this to build my children's faith (and of course, mine too:).

My kiddos favorite thing this week was…

Giggling at the Henry Reed books, feeling successful in their learning endeavors, playing basketball and football, and doing some baking from scratch. Peter made a to-die-for apple crisp (I only prepared the apples and manned the oven). Paul made a chocolate pie, which at first didn't set. We poured out the pudding-like mixture and cooked it some more, and then it set fine.

I’m grateful for…

~ The Lord plucking me out of this world and bringing me to the Throne of Grace, at age 31.

~ The power of the Psalms to soothe and teach.

~ The Lord's power and might and faithful partnership with me as I teach each day.

~ Good literature

~ The comfort a mother's arms can impart.

~ The never-ending power of prayer.

~ That the Lord never expects us to accomplish anything in our own strength.

~ A faithful, affectionate Christian husband.

~ The safety and sanctity of home.

A quote to share...

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;.

Thank you for reading! How was your week?

My Testimony

My friend Beth from As He Leads is Joy asked about my testimony, so here goes:

I was raised in the Catholic Church during my younger elementary years. My mother grew up in a strict Catholic family. Her parents followed all the rules, including the no-birth-control rule, resulting in 14 total pregnancies for my grandmother, who raised ten children. Four babies passed away either in the womb or shortly after birth, in her mid- to late-forties.

Despite the strict religious upbringing, no one in my mother's family had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Also, of the ten children, none grew up to become Christians. Whether my grandmother was a Christian or not, I can't say for sure, but my guess is that no, she never truly trusted Jesus for her salvation.

My grandfather died when I was very young and I know very little about him, except that his later years were plagued by a very serious agoraphobia disorder. He was a critical, unloving man, according to my mother. She's never mentioned his spiritual make-up, so I assume it was similar to my grandmother's...all rules, no relationship.

The Catholic faith teaches that Jesus' death on the cross covers only original sin. Personal sins are paid for in Purgatory (place in Roman Catholic doctrine where souls remain until they have expiated their sins and can go to heaven). I consider Catholicism to be one of the good-works religions, in which one has to focus on being a good person, rather than on having a personal relationship with Jesus.

In recent years I read that about 30% of Catholics are truly born again. Perhaps this is the 30% who read the Bible? It's hard to say, but certainly some attend the Catholic Church while not believing everything it teaches. Many don't even understand official Catholic Doctrine, but still attend the church.

My mother began to date my father, a non-religious person whose mother was a Jehovah's Witness, in her late teens. Mom left Ohio at age 19 to move to California, where my father eventually pursued her and proposed. They married, despite a rocky relationship based on guilt.

My father went into the Air Force and when my mother was 22, she had my sister, and at 24, she had me. We were both born in Germany, and then moved to New York briefly, and then on to England when I was 3 and my sister was 5.

The marriage was dysfunctional due to my father's cheating. It lasted 8 years, after which my mother left my father and flew us to San Diego, California, where one of her sisters lived. We saw my father intermittently after the divorce, due to his military travel. When he settled in the High Desert of California, we saw him bimonthly.

My mother took us to the Catholic Church for a few more years, but she was extremely embittered over religion in general. The priest she saw in the confessional (to confess her divorce) told her the only way she could get to heaven would be to never remarry. My mother was 29 years old and had no college education, and she didn't have the gift of singleness. The priest's statement overwhelmed her and embittered her against all religion, and that hasn't changed (she's now 72).

As the years progress, her bitterness gets worse, which is very frightening to me. Scripture says the more times we reject Jesus, the harder our hearts become. Whether that's actually what's happening, I don't know.

It wasn't long after our First Holy Communion that she quit taking us to church, except for Easter and Christmas. She remarried when I was 6 years old, to a Navy man, and we were off again on overseas tours (Guam, Sicily) when we weren't living in San Diego, which was their favorite city. My step-father retired in San Diego, in fact, where I went to high school and college.

I went to the Catholic Church with a Catholic high school friend, intermittently, but it was her parent's religion, definitely not hers. My friend remains today, nonreligious, as do her three siblings. The Catholic Church, again, failed to impart any personal relationship with Jesus to these children, or to their parents. I don't remember that family ever opening the Bible.

I graduated from UCSD with a degree in Political Science and got engaged to a lawyer. After two years I called it off. We brought out the worst in each other, and he was Jewish and I was Catholic (at least in my mind, I was Catholic).

I was engaged to a Catholic man in my later twenties, and in retrospect I can tell you that the same thing was missing in his life--no personal relationship with Jesus Christ, no Bible reading, no real praying.

I broke that off shortly after becoming a teacher; by then, it was a long-distance relationship anyway, and he was taking forever to get through college. I had moved to the High Desert, almost 3 hours from San Diego, to live with my father and continue earning a teaching credential.

My Catholic fiance cared about whether I knelt down on the correct knee before going into a pew, but he never mentioned Jesus Christ, so it was doomed, with neither of us knowing anything about spiritual things, other than rules of conduct.

Rules without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, involving the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, mean nothing but frustration. Even the meaningful rules that Jesus really cared about, couldn't be realized in a life without the indwelling Holy Spirit, who is our Counselor and our Comforter.

I continued to go intermittently to the Catholic Church as a single teacher, but my relationship with "religion" was dominated by frustration. I knew I loved God, but I didn't know how to access Him. I didn't know what I was missing.

My principal and the two office secretaries were all Christians, and a few teachers in my school were as well. They prayed for me, and the main secretary tried witnessing to me, explaining that the Catholic Church did not teach a plan for salvation.

She told me one day that I had to believe that Jesus was the Son of God, and that his death on the cross covered my sins. Without believing that, I couldn't get to Heaven, she went on to say.

I told her I had always believed both those things. No problem.

They continued praying.

My principal gave me More Than a Carpenter, a book about Jesus, but while I loved to read and would often read until 2 or 3 AM on the weekends, I never opened that particular book, before returning it a few months later. I loved my principal, a godly man, and I didn't want to lose his book, so I returned it.

They continued praying.

I dated a man after that Catholic relationship ended, and a year or so into the relationship, we ended up at a Calvary Chapel, but not near my home, as this was another long-distance relationship (60 minute drive one way). We both said the prayer of salvation in our seats, but nothing changed. No one discipled us or gave us a Bible, and we didn't have a desire to get one on our own; we were unchanged essentially. No hunger for the Word. We didn't understand what just happened, and we didn't know what we were missing.

I broke that relationship off, becoming uncomfortable with the man's recreational drinking, which I wanted no part of. Drinking occurred in my home growing up, and to me it was a recipe for dysfunction and heartbreak.

I returned to the Catholic Church after the break-up.

Finally, I became friends with a fellow first-grade instructor. She was very close to God and her life showed it, which wasn't really the case with the main secretary who tried to turn me away from the Catholic Church.

Being a widow, Phyllis was lonely and needed a friend, and I needed someone who had something spiritual that I was missing--a personal relationship with God that spilled over into every aspect of her life. This woman's faith wasn't just a weekend religious thing. The Lord was her life.

If we really want someone to come to Christ, we have to really love the Lord Jesus Christ and our love for Him must shine.

Phyllis's husband had committed suicide when they resided in Ohio, where she was a housewife and he was an engineer. After that horrific event she sold her home and moved to the California High Desert, to live with her brother and his wife, taking her teen-aged son with her. Her daughter was already in college at the time.

I met her after she had gotten back on her feet, gone back to college to pursue a teaching credential, and even battled ovarian cancer. She could not have her own children, but instead adopted two American infants in her early thirties. Not having children put her at risk for ovarian cancer.

After successfully fighting the cancer, she obtained a job as a first grade teacher at my school, which she did for a few years before becoming a reading resource specialist on our sight.

One day we were in the teacher's lounge, and Phyllis told me that her first grandbaby had contracted meningitis. I was amazed at her calmness...her faith...her peace in the midst of tragedy.

She flew that weekend to Ohio, where her son and his wife resided. The baby had to undergo an amputation, but it looked like he would make it.

Phyllis flew home, and then the baby worsened and passed away. Phyllis flew back for the funeral and was heartbroken, but her peace remained intact. To say I was amazed at this woman's peace was an understatement.

I wanted what she had.

Unfortunately, her son and his wife fell apart and in the next 18 months, divorced.

Neither Phyllis's adopted son or daughter have ever become Christians, partially because Phyllis became one after her marriage and the beginning of motherhood, and it's doubtful that her husband ever became one. Without the support and leading of a Christian father, it's very hard for children to adopt their mother's faith. Statistics show that children more often take their father's lead in spiritual things.

One day months after her grand baby's death, Phyllis went on a day trip to Big Bear Mountain with me, which was just 45 minutes from our High Desert town.

On the windy drive up the mountain, I told her how much I hated being 31 years old and still unmarried. I feared becoming an old maid. Any time I dated, I always found something wrong with the person after a year or so, and called off the relationship. I was discouraged and fearful about the future.

She kept saying, "That's not too big for God."

She listened some more, telling me, "Take that to God."

She said that multiple times, almost like a broken record, but gently spoken.

Never in my life did I pray any prayer that wasn't something like this: "Bless this person, God.  Bless that person, God." Along with your usual Hail Mary's and the Lord's Prayer.

None of my praying meant anything. It was little better than what the pagans do.

Right away, Phyllis knew what I was missing. She grew up in the Presbyterian church and never had a personal relationship with Jesus until adulthood, after she married. She explained what a personal relationship was and encouraged me to talk to God in my own words. She also explained what she was taught in the Presbyterian church: "You're okay. You'll get to heaven as long as you don't hurt anyone or commit horrible sins."

I don't remember being taught that same doctrine per se, but it's what I believed. Phyllis had to explain to me that no one is good enough to get to Heaven. No, not one. Not even Mother Theresa.

That was just the beginning.

I wasn't saved on that day, but it's the day my whole life turned around. I still can't think or write about it without huge tears. Someone had taken the time, finally, after all my years as a frustrated "religious" person/worldly person, to tell me what I was missing.

It seems like such a small thing, but it was huge. The difference between life and death. Peace and angst.

I can't pinpoint, as some can, the exact moment I became a Christian. I only remember that drive up a windy mountain and how it became my salvation, in a sense. No prayer of salvation was uttered, but God was faithful and in the next weeks and months, I changed.

Phyllis invited me and our first-grade aide to her house for a weekly Bible Study. She started us in Romans and it wasn't long before I was on fire for the Lord! I spent hours reading the Bible. Instead of continuing my love of classic literature, and staying up till all hours reading, I devoured the Bible for hours and listened to Christian radio exclusively.

I asked Phyllis tons of questions, day after day, during recesses, weekends, and on the phone. She discipled me for two years.

Phyllis attended an Assemblies of God church, but I could not go there with her for long. It made me very uncomfortable, so with her blessing, I began to attend a non-denominational mega church in the area--the same church my principal went to, as well as the school secretaries and a few other teachers on staff.

I was baptized soon after, and all the Christians on my staff attended. I'm sure they wondered: what took her so long? I began teaching there in 1992, and wasn't saved until 1997.

Two years after becoming a Christian, I met my husband on a singles' hike--an event set up by the singles group at our church. We met in early October and did things in groups for several months, not knowing the other was interested.

We were married the following July. Phyllis was one of my bridesmaids.

Thank you, Dear Father, for your faithfulness. Thank you, Jesus, for your sacrifice. Thank you, Phyllis, for your time and your obedience.

May we all take the time to explain the reason for our Hope...the reason for our Peace. May we pray for and befriend the unsaved, investing in their hearts and lives, for that's far more effective than anything else in escorting someone to the Throne of Grace.

May we keep reading our Bibles, and conversing with our Father, so that someone sees something in us that they simply must have for themselves.

We don't have to be perfect, just obedient, and the Holy Spirit does the rest.
 

Baby Joy and Giving Thanks

Oh, Joy! Tesha, a blogging friend who visits here, had her baby! Tears of overwhelming joy here and now a gratitude post in honor of her precious bundle, Julian Jonathan, 6 pounds 3 oz, 19 in. She won't be around much now I'm sure, but jump for joy in her honor anyway and praise our Heavenly Father for his faithfulness. Tesha lost a baby boy, Jonathan, in January of 2012, at about 20 weeks.

Julian has 5 brothers and 1 sister, all rejoicing with Mom and Dad right now.

Giving Thanks To God:

~ The best part of my children's ministry coordinator job is that I get to work frequently in the church nursery. Did I ever tell you I wish I'd been saved earlier, marrier earlier, and had 10 babies? I'm so pleased with my four blessings, but more would have been just wonderful. But that wasn't God's plan. Children's ministry is his plan, and it comes with such a bonus for my heart. I'm getting to know these babies (often 7 of them on a Sunday morning) and as they see me more, they're trusting me more and are even happy to see me, too.

~ Today I welcomed a precious new girl, Nicola, who was recently adoped from Poland and is still learning English. She is so sweet and I look forward to praying for her and enjoying her in nursery.

~ There's an autistic boy in my nursery that I find very precious, even though he can't interact with me in the typical sense. I know he wants to. He hasn't been there in about six weeks. I was missing him and found out today it isn't that they changed churches, just that he'd been sick with complicated colds.

~ This morning a 3-month-old baby fell asleep in my arms in the rocker, his fingers wrapped around mine. It was the most peaceful part of my whole week. I praised the Lord for that time!

~ I only have one more ministry position to fill. The church has been so responsive and gracious.

~ Beautiful weather for apple picking on Saturday. A yummy applesauce and more delights coming.

~ A big plush rocker at home to rock my big girls. They still fit in my lap for rocks in "Mommy's office" aka the rocker. Everything looks brighter after a visit to Mommy's office...brighter for me, too.

What are you thankful for today?