The One Thing We All Have Going For Us

Today was the worst day and it was supposed to be a day for me to relax, finally, with a book in my hands. It was a Saturday off from Bible studies and no company was scheduled. My cleaning and laundry load would be lighter, I told myself, so I'll sit with a book and give my energizer-bunny self a rest.

But then the tiny screw fell out of Beth's glasses, so that meant a Walmart Vision center errand. And the snake disappeared from its cage, so when husband returned from work after lunch time, he obsessed about finding it and tore part of the house up.

So much for my relaxation.

I came home from Walmart to find pee spots in the playroom. Without my reminding him, Peter failed to take Rudy the Beagle out every hour, and the rule is that the dog can only be on carpet if he is watched closely. Later, Rudy will bark his needs better, but right now he is quiet, trying to get used to his new surroundings and new family and new routine.

I came unglued too, when I saw evidence that Peter pulled triple the amount of paper towels necessary to dry his hands. He absentmindedly does this, and it drives me crazy because paper towels are expensive and I purposely buy the type that section off to save money. Not to mention, there is usually a kitchen towel available for wiping hands only. People with OCD wash their hands daily more than most people do in several days, so his paper towel habit is a nightmare.

More things went wrong, and my world came crashing down. I felt completely overwhelmed with all the responsibilities and hassles, on a day when there were supposed to be few.

I didn't wake up this morning and announce to everyone that I really needed to relax. I just assumed it would happen.

I lectured my son and got mad at my husband, for they both share very similar characteristics that make my daily responsibilities heavy. And I get so weary sometimes.

Finally, my husband, in exasperation, shouted that they don't mean to annoy me. "I'm sorry we aren't as perfect as you'd like, but we do the best we can. We can't help it that concentrating on many details at once, the way you do, is impossible for us."

I felt terrible.

Why do I assume that lecturing is going to change anything about ADHD? Instead of snapping at all the pressure, why don't I remember why it's there? Why do I bother getting annoyed at something that can't be changed, any more than a polio victim can get up out of a wheelchair and suddenly walk?

My son began fearing, from all my ranting, that he was never going to make it in life. That he was just too stupid.

I felt terrible.

My brain just wanted to explode. Living with neurological disorders is so hard. So excruciatingly hard for everyone involved, but not for the same reasons. My son and husband have to acknowledge at some point that they are hard to live with, and that as much as they need grace from me, I need grace from them, too.

The wife of an ADHD husband does an awful lot of work, not because her husband is lazy or tries to get away with doing less, but because he gets overwhelmed easily and can handle few details. Looking for a snake, being in the midst of four kids with Mom away, and making sure a dog gets outside every hour, is too much detail.

I told myself, inwardly, that when I am away, the dog goes in his crate after being let out the last minute before I leave. Rudy doesn't mind it at all; most dogs see their crate as a quiet, secure place, as long as the confinement period is just a couple hours. They can hold their urine quite a while, but dogs neutered late (after one year; Rudy was six years) tend to mark territory with their urine, so you have to keep a close watch and make sure they use it all up outside, for they purposely hold some in to use for marking. God is amazing, the way he created each animal with so many complicated and specialized characteristics.

But having to make this adjustment when I leave the house? It was annoying. There are so many adjustments...so many bases to cover before I can leave the house. Pressure. Always pressure.

I am grateful for my family and for having the privilege of caring for them. I am grateful to have a Christian husband who works hard and has integrity. I truly am, but that doesn't keep me from melting down when the pressure mounts.

The mother of an ADHD boy puts up with a lot of annoying daily issues. She hopes for progress. She hopes for an easing of symptoms, if only she can help her son manage the disorder well enough, utilizing all known helps.

But at the end of the day, the brain is still disordered. Medicine is no cure. Good management techniques are no cure. The disorder won't go away. Ever.

You can use words like special instead of disordered, but the daily reality doesn't feel so special. You can spin it positively on your best days, but best days don't come often. Neurological disorders stink. No one wants them and they struggle daily to endure them, if truth be told. Every day they wake up and life is harder for them, no matter what they do differently.

And because it's a silent disorder, not a visual one, few people understand the deficits.

Sure, developing coping skills helps, but they manage the stress involved, far more than they change the condition itself.

Whenever I get overwhelmed with this, I make my son and husband feel like they're no good. I give them the impression that I am better, smarter, more capable. But the reality is, I'm crumbling in my own weaknesses. I don't think they can put themselves in my shoes, perhaps because it's painful to do so.

No one wants to face that they have deficits that unduly burden others. This is a very human reality, true for all of us, but not fun to acknowledge.

At the end of long, cantankerous days, my son, overwhelmed and dejected, wonders how he will make it.

And I wonder, silently, how his wife will make it, for I know what she's in for. I also know my son is sweet, gentle, smart, fun, and charming, and a wife he will have. Someone will come along and notice that he is not cocky, but humble. That life has molded and shaped him by its hard knocks, and he's better for them. He will stand out by his good heart and good looks, by his allegiance to God, and the silent disorder will go unnoticed during the courting period, as it did for me.

And when the courting period comes, I must remain silent about the disorder and let God work. All my mothering years must be used to pray for a solid, compassionate Christian wife for him...one who will kneel and pray for strength and grace, and give thanks for Peter's heart and humility, which please God.

Defeated and guilty, I responded to my son with the only truth I know.

"This has nothing to do with intelligence. You are very bright with many strengths. And you will make it in life, by the grace of God. In the end, Peter, we all have just one thing going for us."

"The grace of God."

"Look up to heavens and give thanks for it, cling to it, and spread it, for the glory of God."

If you know of a family dealing with neurological disorders, be it depression, ADHD, OCD, bipolar, Tourette's Syndrome, or autism...please pray for them? They may look put together on the outside, but truly, they need prayer for lifelong strength and grace...and their loved ones do too. Thank you.

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Part 3 Do You Have a Good Story?

We've discussed personal pain on this blog in the last couple weeks, starting with this post, and then this post.

Today we'll discuss whether God heals pain completely. Our discussion will include the pain of loss and the pain of rejection/betrayal/abuse.

I can honestly say the Lord completely healed the pain of my two miscarriages (21 weeks in 2000, and 10 weeks in 2005). Tears can still flow when I think of the memories at the hospital, the funeral home, the mountain-top gravesite. But the tears are fleeting and infrequent, after 14 years. Following both miscarriages, I had healthy babies. Had that not been the case, the pain would have continued, I am sure. He healed me by filling my arms again, but he could have chosen to allow barrenness in my life.

Sometimes, loss is incomprehensible. A couple years ago I read about a Christian woman with nine children who lost her relatively young husband in a tornado. And I know there are lonely widows and widowers out there who had no one with flesh on to fill the hours of solitude, after a 50-something spouse's death. That means a possible 20 to 45 years alone, depending on the surviving spouse's health.

The pain of loss can be excruciating, especially when the hole is never refilled...if no baby ever comes, if no new spouse appears on the horizon.

Sometimes, God asks us to be alone and that's a horrible feeling. People come to the funeral, but week by week they call less, visit less, and get swept up by their own lives, their own pain. The grieving person is left alone, wondering how long God will allow it.

What about the pain of rejection or betrayal or abuse, which can be especially devastating when inflicted by people who are supposed to deeply love us--like a parent, spouse or sibling. Does God fill the holes left by such pain?

Do strong Christians deal with ongoing pain from rejection, betrayal, abuse, loss, or barrenness? It's easy to say that God can fill our emotional holes and be our spouse or our parent, but there are many people hurting, despite their allegiance to Christ. Are they not praying the right prayers? Are they stubbornly clinging to victim-hood, as though it were a badge to be proud of? Why can't they get better, completely, if Christ is sufficient?

Is Christ really sufficient? Can his presence erase pain?

Yes and no. He's sufficient when we are in his presence, through Bible reading, prayer, or quiet contemplation of his glory and faithfulness. When we go to his throne of grace with our troubles, he makes us whole.

But devotional time doesn't last forever. We can't be in his presence all day long, although with practice, we can walk with him in our minds in the midst of our daily duties. But no one can perfect this. No one walks with him 24 hours a day.

We can only conclude that in this life we will have trouble, and God will comfort us. His presence will fill us and even at times, overfill us.

But the complete healing? The healing that erases our pain? It's called Heaven. Heaven is our inheritance, our wholeness, our complete transformation. We are pilgrims, just passing through here.

Let's now consider the concept of redemption, in regards to our pain. God redeems our pain--beauty from ashes--making it shine His glory. Redeemed pain serves a holy purpose, for it points hearts toward Him. He assures that it does. Our redeemed pain exalts Him. We are bought and paid for..slaves to Christ. This means it isn't about us, but about his glory. He can use us as pawns in his plan, and it's okay. He is a just God--something we accept by faith.

For didn't we deserve eternal suffering, and aren't we instead looking forward to Heaven? Salvation is unspeakably generous. It is enough.

So, our pain is redeemed. It is eclipsed by His glory. But the complete healing? I say again, that's Heaven. If healing were complete here, why would we look forward to heaven?

It will always hurt me that I had to reject my mother because she couldn't get out of the cycle of drinking. It will always hurt me that my speaking the truth from a young age meant that I was the hated one (though it was a disguised hate). I must live with the knowledge that I broke her heart--a choice I made for my own health, because of her history of poor choices. It stinks that I had no choice. It stinks that when my heart aches for a truly loving mother, there is no replacement, other than the Lord himself during my quiet times with Him.

I must daily choose to give thanks for the generous blessings God has bestowed on me and my family. I must daily choose to walk with Christ--to set aside my busyness and give him my time. When I fail to make that time for Him, I am the most brokenhearted. So you see? We have a choice as to how much pain we carry daily, but we will never be completely healed until our last day, when we enter through the glorious gates of Heaven.

We have now the Holy Spirit, who is the down payment on our eternal inheritance.

Ephesians 1:13-14 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation--having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, to the praise of His glory.

We look forward...not behind.
 
We give thanks...not succumbing to bitterness.

We praise Him...not questioning Him.

We enter into His presence...not looking elsewhere for a filling.

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

1 Corinthians 2:7-9 But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory. None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. But, as it is written,”What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”

Philippians 3:20-21 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

Psalm 103:2-4 "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,"

Speak to me. Does entering into His presence heal you for a time, as you wait for your complete transformation on the last day? 

Close your eyes.
Get quiet.
Pray.
Open your eyes.
Read Scripture.
Close your eyes.
Pray again.
Sit quietly, letting Him speak life into your soul.

Homeschool and Mother's Journal Mar. 14



In My Life This Week...

We adopted our first (and only) dog on Monday, and since then we've worked on developing new routines with Rudy the Beagle (6 years old), now a beloved member of our family. Growing up I never had a dog, so I was unaware how snugly a dog can fit within a family. No, they're not human, but they sure seem a lot like toddlers to me...full of cuddles, fun and mischief, and very attached to their caregivers. So loyal and attentive! And dogs sleep a lot! Rudy needs 14 hours of sleep a day, and HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Yes, Peter, his main master, objected to the pink scarf, but Mary couldn't resist. She's learned Rudy will stay still while she dresses him in various winter snow apparel. I did tell her we would never be spending a penny on doggie clothes.

This 8.5-year-old playroom couch was already an eyesore, which is why I allow Rudy on it. It's jean material so the cushion covers themselves are washable.

He's also completely housetrained, which is a nice perk when adopting an adult dog. Rudy doesn't chew or tear up the house. I blocked off the living room and hallway (the barriers are a pain to get around), giving him free reign in the large dining room, the kitchen, and the family room (playroom). I wanted one part of the house to be relatively dander free, lest anyone develop a pet allergy.

I see now that getting a dog is really a loving thing to do for your children. Not very convenient, sure, but a sacrificial love offering that will never be forgotten. To help with Rudy's costs, we will no longer be getting $5 pizzas at Little Ceasers, or going to McDonald's when we're gone four hours for errands on alternate Wednesdays. And I will no longer buy ice cream or juice boxes or Goldfish. Those were perks in our already tiny budget, and I pray with faith that God comes up with the unforeseen costs.

 Having a dog makes living with no entertainment budget easier to cope with, but the real reason we got him was to help with my son's ADHD/OCD stress. Rudy is fun and entertaining (like my five-year-old daughter:). We don't pay for entertainment except for the county fair once a year, and an apple orchard every fall. Fortunately, husband manages to get free tickets for local university sporting events a couple times a year.

The Daddy around here was a bit grumpy about dog ownership the first couple days, saying under his breath that "dogs are for rich people." But Rudy is so special and so sweet, he completely won hubby over within 48 hours. Husband comes home at 7 PM and Rudy the Beagle goes to bed at 9:30 PM, so it didn't even take many hours before husband, while reading to the boys at night, began petting Rudy, who rested his head on husband's leg while snoozing during storytime. It's like Rudy's been in our family for years. He's slowly getting over his sadness about leaving the foster-dog mother, and everyday he perks up more around here. I think in another week he will feel completely secure; the kids just can't give him enough love (though I'm watching the 5 year old around him like a hawk).

Various people quoted me what they spent on dog food, and it didn't sound half bad, which is why we even considered getting a dog. But, I've now learned that the dog food they buy is full of corn and fillers, just like 80% of what you see in supermarket aisles. God didn't design dogs to consume so much grain, if at all, and certainly not low-quality grain (rice is better). So, the dog food bill will be more than we anticipated because we want a food with meat as the first ingredient. I've settled on Purina One--not as expensive as the best, but far better than the worst, with real meat as the first ingredient.

As we go along, I have to find other ways to trim our budget (like getting all library materials in on time, for one.)

Tell me about your dog? Has he or she been a blessing to your children?

Homeschool Happenings This Week:

In Sonlight Science the boys, ages 10 and 12, started Improve Your Survival Skills by Lucy Smith, which they both love. "Mommy, I could read this book for hours."



They're also reading more of The Boy's Body Book by Kelli Dunham. Some chapters I'll be guiding them through, but for the most part this is fine for them to read alone. One slight reference to alternate family structures on page 75 we'll be skipping entirely. Our children don't know anything about homosexuality yet, and for now we're keeping it that way. The book doesn't mention this topic directly, instead saying that some families have two moms or two dads. We're not going to give the boys reason to ask questions along this line right now. (Sonlight company warns about page 75 in the notes.) And Sonlight assigns another book about puberty in this same Core F package that is decidedly Christian.



The boys are also reading India, the people, and India, the culture, both by Bobbie Kalman, which is ideal for us since we have a Compassion correspondent child in India.





Peter is also still reading Rascal, and Paul is still reading The Incredible Journey.



Next week the boys will start Teresa of Calcutta, a history reader.



The girls are moving right along, enjoying learning for the most part. Beth can do her Explode the Code phonics mostly on her own, which thrills her. She reads three-letter words only, so book 1 is perfect for her right now.

Peter checked out five library books on Beagles, so he is slowly going through those too. He is Rudy's primary caregiver, and I am so proud of him!

Paul continues to do origami every afternoon, drawing from a couple library books for new ideas. I personally wouldn't have the patience for this, but he loves it and it somehow relaxes him.

Beth continues to dance her way around our home, checking out new dance DVD's every week from the library--mostly ballet. She is such a ham and a born performer! (Just what one is told to expect from last borns). She also continues to delight in her dollies, dressing them several times a day, and imagining she's a mother taking in orphans, or an orphan herself and asking me to take her in. A Samantha American Girl story prompted this kind of play, months ago. Mary engages with her in this too, and it's always so sweet.

Mary loves (and is consumed with) Rudy as much as Peter is, and I'm likely to find her on the couch cuddling with him whenever she finishes a lesson. She and Peter took Rudy on four walks today--trodding through new snow. Mary is definitely Peter's pal in all things animal and nature. She's told me before how wonderful she feels when she's outside--free and contented and more in love with God than ever.

Trade Books to Share:

go, go GRAPES A FRUIT CHANT by April Pulley Sayre



This book is wonderful for teaching the names and appearances of exotic or rarely purchased fruits, written in engaging rhyme. I think it's nice for children to be able to identify more than just what Mom picks in the produce section.

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Good Bug, Bad Bug: Who's Who, What They do, and How to Manage Them Organically, by Jessica Walliser



My son Peter chose this at the library and loved it--he loves bugs as well as gardening! It's a spiral bound book with one page for each bug. Concise and meant as a reference, it goes over 24 of the most common and destructive garden pests, and 14 of the most beneficial ones. He found it in the adult garden section.

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How Monkeys Make Chocolate:  foods and medicines from the rainforest by Adrian Forsyth

There is an updated version of this book available, but this one is great too. Peter picked it out at the library and I found myself fascinated by it. It's an excellent living science book for upper elementary students to read alone, and lower elementary students to listen to.

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Charlotte Jane Battles Bedtime by Myra Wolfe



Synopsis:

If only bedtime could walk the plank!

Charlotte Jane the Hearty gets all the juice out of her days with pirate-girl pizzazz! She loves swashbuckling sessions, treasure hunts, and Fantastic Feats of Daring—all of which prove she has formidable oomph. There’s absolutely no room in her day for bedtime. But can Charlotte Jane refuse to snooze and still be her hearty pirate self?

A really fun one for your little ones to listen to!

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The Day We Danced in Underpants by Sarah Wilson



This is told in delightful rhyme, and will make them giggle. The King graciously saves the embarrassment of Papa's torn pants by telling everyone to go ahead and dance in their underpants. Just for fun, and a hint of how we can be gracious about other's mistakes and mishaps.

Synopsis: An invitation to picnic with the King of France sends a young boy, his papa, two big dogs, and three wild aunts dancing their way across the French countryside. When the time comes to dine with the royals, Papa's energetic dance moves catch up with him and his worn pants burst at the seams. The stage is set for a wild party that finds even the stuffiest nobles getting down in their unmentionables.

Sarah Wilson's uproarious text makes for a boisterous read-aloud, but it's Catherine Stock's hilarious portrayals of cavorting courtiers and gallant guests that will have kids begging for more of this raucous summertime romp.

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Planting the Wild Garden by Kathryn Galbraith



Synopsis:
In this lyrical picture book, author Kathryn O. Galbraith explains the many ways in which seeds are spread and planted.

A farmer and her son plant vegetables in their garden, and the wind carries a few seeds away. Birds and animals may carry some along with them on their travels. Sometimes the rain washes them away to a new and unexpected location. And sometimes something more extraordinary occurs, as in when the pods of the Scotch Broom plant open explosively in the summer heat, scattering seed everywhere like popcorn. Year-round, we all play a role in the dispersal of seeds throughout our landscape, planting the wild garden together.

This is an excellent living science book for elementary children.

Gratitude Journal:

Peter, age 12: I thank God for having a dog to play with, and for having my sister Mary love him so much too. I am thankful for spring coming, for green leaves, gardening, rainbows, and warmer weather. I thank God for his love.

Paul, age 10: I am thankful for Rudy and for playing our made-up sports game, Pin-It. I am thankful for my siblings, who are nice and friendly and helpful. I am thankful for spring coming, for the snow to be gone, the tulips coming, and more outside basketball. I thank God for always being there.

Mary, age 7: I thank God for toads coming to the yard in spring, and for having Rudy to play with. I am thankful for my siblings and for the fort we made yesterday. I am thankful that God loves me and that he helps me live.

Beth, age 5: I am thankful for our fort and for Rudy. I am thankful for the garden we will plant, for flowers, for my family, and that God sent his Son Jesus.

Momma, age (too old): I am thankful for my family, for spring coming, for the blessing of Rudy. For the joy of rearing children and delighting in them. I am thankful for my husband's soft heart. I am thankful for all the lessons and self-sacrifice having a dog will bring for my children (and for me). I am thankful for having to struggle financially, because it keeps the heart and mind closer than ever to God's promises, and to his teachings about enough. I am thankful for Compassion International and for the phenomenal work they do.

We sent a family gift last March to Divya, our correspondent child in India. There was a delay in hearing how they were able to use the money, but finally we found out and it blessed us so!

From Compassion, with letter from Divya in the mail: Divya purchased 3 dresses for herself, 1 dress for her brother, 2 sarees (traditional Indian dress worn by women) for her mother, 1 cooker, 1 stand for keeping kitchen utensils, a water filter (for clean drinking water), and 1 hot box (casserole- to keep cooked food items hot).

Her mother was especially glad of the kitchen help, and as a homemaker myself, that blessed me so much to hear. God always provides the money to send family gifts to our Compassion kids. Usually, it's in amazing ways (last year it was in the form of someone hitting my van, totalling it, and us getting far more than we anticipated for our 1998 Toyota Sienna van--thank you, Lord, for State Farm). All the glory goes straight to the Father, and I encourage you to sponsor a child if you haven't already done so. All the $38 monthly dollars needed (monetary gifts are not required) will come directly from God, I assure you. Sponsoring a child is one of the most significant acts of your life, impacting far more people than you can imagine, including your own heart.

If you sponsor an older child you will get meatier letters with more feeling and thought put into them. Often the younger children just dicate a few lines to their Center teachers, or they utilize prompt questions that don't reveal much about their feelings. Most people sponsor younger children, and often the preteens and teens wait far longer for a sponsor.

Scripture to Share:

Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;   

How was your week, friends? What are you thankful for?

 

 

 

Heaven is Here (says the kids)

Tired kids and a tired dog, but oh so happy.

Rudy is home. He's the sweetest dog imaginable.

Even when the silly Momma of the house, slightly lost on the way home (the foster home was an hour away), tried to turn around in too soft ground, causing us to get stuck and stranded for three hours, Rudy was a trooper. He didn't bark or get irritated at his four-hour stay in his crate in the back of our van.

The children, however, took it harder. The girls thought we would die and Beth wondered what heaven was like. We've never been stranded before, so it was quite a new adventure pickle. Once a tow truck arrived and pulled us out of the gully, then troubleshooted why the van wouldn't start (fuel pump fuse went out, so he replaced it) we finally arrived home at 11:30 PM, dinner and bedtime both many hours late.

It was a rough beginning, but Rudy is home (saved in January from dog-pound death row by a pet rescue operation). The kids feel like heaven has come down and settled right here in our home.

A Woman's Peace

Are you at peace right now, my friend? As you search your heart and mind, is it in a good place? A holy place?

The last several days, this has not been so for my husband and me. While we both feel a dog would reduce our son's ADHD/OCD stress--and therefore the whole family's stress--at the same time, it seems like we can't squeeze our budget any tighter, and dogs require more than leashes and dog food. Our heads are spinning and yet medicine is clearly not helping our son's neurological issues enough. Something more is needed, and our friend who suffers from OCD herself confirms that, yes, dogs do help.

I need a job, my head screamed. We simply cannot live any longer without me bringing home an income of some sort. I checked again for online writing jobs, but the niches advertised were not faith, homeschooling, education, or parenting/mothering.

I've long wondered how mothers maintain professional blogs/work-from-home jobs and keep up with technology and three or four social media accounts, and still say hello to their children. Social media, I'm sure, like blogging, has its good points, but it has taken many a mother down by Internet and status addiction. I hate social media and the thought of its mandatory presence in the life of writers turns my stomach. I've read from more than one writer that she went kicking and screaming into social media, to reluctantly honor a writing contract with a publisher.

We can't get these years back and children can easily feel emotionally neglected by a mother whose face is always down in a phone or staring at a computer screen, too distracted to listen attentively or truly care what a child is saying. The computer is every bit as addicting as drugs or alcohol.

As I perused the writing jobs and thought about deadlines and the need for a perfect copy, and the time to sell oneself and maintain a social media presence, I collapsed onto the computer desk, absolutely sure working from home is not for me.

It's one thing to love the written word and blow off a little steam by writing myself into an understanding of what God is saying to me--to produce typo-infused blog posts several times a week. But it's quite another to think about your audience and how you can serve it. Or the technology and how you can master it. Or your "brand" and how you can develop and market it. Some women are so talented and organized, they can accomplish more than the majority and still be a loving wife and mother. I am not that woman.

My heart is at home...not the home that is a place, but the home that is God's heart for a woman. My heart is with my children and cheering them, shepherding them, teaching them, praying for them. My heart is with my husband and praying for him and loving him.

The key, my friend, to a heart and mind that is at peace, is to know what God asks of you and do it.

He asks us to pray and drink of His Holy Word, he asks us to be keepers at home, he asks us to be servants. A servant isn't someone who just serves, for in deciding where and how you will serve, you maintain the control. A true servant gives God all the control, even when the wait or the task seems impossible. A true servant lays down his life for the Master...his own desires, his ego, his own comfort.

When I quit working in 2005, it was with the understanding that God never asked me to bring in an income in the first place. Women are supposed to be resourceful and frugal with money, but they aren't asked to support the family. Contributing regular support through a paying job is extra-Biblical for women. Not wrong necessarily, just something extra that God didn't command. As I said, some women can do this extra, and still do what God commanded of them.

It wasn't working for me. Even as a part-time, work-from-home mom, I couldn't keep up with everything and the result was a woman who wasn't doing anything well, least of all the very things God asked her to do.

I had to relearn all these lessons this week, and finally, Saturday morning, my peace returned.

Similarly, my husband isn't asked by God to support us in style, or to support a dog as well as us. He's supposed to support us to the best of his ability, and lead us spiritually as well. We can't heap extra things on ourselves and expect to maintain peace and joy.

Matthew 11:30 (NLT) For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

1 John 5:3 In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,

We may or may not need a dog. Only God knows for sure. The Bible teaches that it's not really my husband who provides, but God. My daily bread is not dependent on my husband's pay rate, but on God's love and mercy. When I seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, my daily bread is secure.

If a dog is necessary for our peace, God will provide it as one of "these things that will be given to me as well."

Do Not Worry (source here)

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^e ?

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

He knows what is needed. I am His servant and my thoughts and heart need to be focused on that. On being ready and willing to bend to His will and live this: "Your Kingdom come...Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."

How are you, friend? Are you at peace?




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