Had I Been Warned

Do you feel disconnected from God?  Not sure how to reconnect, or why you even feel a disconnect?  Could it be overuse of technology?  A thoughtful discussion on this here-- Push Button Faith.  One of Tozer's works is quoted.  The post is quite a good read, including the comment section.
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A week ago we ordered some more Hugh Lofting works--author of The Story of Dr. Doolittle.  The library staff responds quickly; we're now halfway through Doctor Dolittle and the Green Canary.

Oh, Mr. Lofting!  Can you ever weave a good tale!  We're mesmerized by the adventures of this little green canary, world traveler.

My six year old wasn't pleased at first.  Chapter one dragged along.  Highly visual, Paul still prefers picture books for the most part.  I reminded him that authors appreciate our patience as they warm us toward their characters.

Sure enough, Hugh Lofting had my boy's heart midway through chapter 2.

I am blessed.  Tucking the boys in tonight--their heads full of the green canary's wild, human-like adventures--I had an epiphany about my life, my circumstances.

Had I been warned five years ago about the cost of going down to one income, I would have given up my dream of being a stay-at-home mom.  Fear would have gripped me.
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The warning would read thus:

- You'll be down to one car, stuck at home with four children.

- You'll repeat the same chores almost hourly.  You'll rarely rest.  No lunch breaks.

- You'll never go on a vacation, or on a weekend away, or even to a movie.  You might dine out with a giftcard once a year.  You'll afford McDonald's hamburgers when on the run, but will have to forgo the drinks; you'll share one fry order.

- You'll never own the latest fashions.  You'll likely never buy a new garment.  You'll scramble to keep your lips lipsticked.  Every additional garment in the house will be from a thrift store, as well as most of the toys, books and decorations.  You'll never make another full-price bookstore purchase, or own a new book.

- You'll have no financial security.  You won't make enough to save.  Retirement plan?  What's that?  Each month, the financial math will scream red.

- Your vehicle will always be on the brink of extinction.  Every spare penny will go into it.

- People will wonder how you can live in such a fashion, and will secretly think you're a simpleton.

- When a child asks for something, such as sand for the sandbox, you'll have to repeatedly say, "Not yet.  Pray about it.  God decides what we should have."

- A store bought card will be too expensive.  You will not buy your extended family any more gifts, and yet they might continue giving gifts, making you feel small.
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Hearing all this, I would have abandoned my dream of being a stay-at-home mom.  Fear would have enveloped my small-faithed, entrenched-in-the-culture heart.  My children would have gone to daycare; I wouldn't have any daughters.

But wow!  The lifestyle above has come to pass.  Slowly.

God didn't spring all the change on me at once.  He meets us where we're at--never overburdening.  This is precisely why we mustn't judge others.  We can't know where they're at.  Only God can.

God slowly:

Built my faith.

Changed my heart.

Imparted wisdom.

Extracted me from the culture.

Filled me with Himself.

Gave me joy in simple things, like bird nests in my yard, a tale expertly woven, a meal thoughtfully prepared.

He taught me about togetherness.

About the richness of family relationship.

About the joys of breaking bread together.  Reading the Word together.  Dancing to Jesus songs together.

Creating together.

He made a huge dent in my self-consciousness.  And in my selfishness.

He blessed.  And blessed.  And blessed.

He's still blessing.

No, not in ways recognized by the culture.

Only my heart recognizes the blessings.  Savors them.  Counts them.


The loveliest change?


I've learned that every day is Thanksgiving day.