Weekly Homeschool & Life Wrap-up 4/3

I'm starting this week's wrap-up with gratitude. Most of all, I'm so very thankful that He is Risen, and he calls me his daughter. Thank you, Jesus!

I think it was Ann Voskamp who coined the phrase "hard hallelujah". It means giving thanks for something that has added pain or discomfort to our lives. In offering these affairs up with our joyful hallelujahs, we in a sense put them at the foot of the cross, to both be healed and bring glory to God.

It's also a discipline, an obedience, because God commands us in Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Some hard hallelujahs:

~ This picture, taken yesterday, represents the weather and the morning mood around here for some. I had considerable difficulty getting through Mary's reading lesson because of this gray sky and the 40% chance of thunder and lightening. I was kind, but after reminding her of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness, and pointing out all the blessings we enjoy from the rain, I firmly told her she couldn't stop doing her schoolwork every time the sky looked gray--which in Ohio is frequently, although it ain't exactly England. The saying around Northeast Ohio is that if you don't like the weather, wait an hour. It changes frequently.

~ Paul has been having somewhat frequent skin infections, despite daily showers and my use of ointment on cuts. He cut his lip outside two days ago and today it has signs of infection. Because of the frequency of his infections--all of which clear up with a prescription ointment and frequent bandage changes--in the back of my mind I can't shake the thought of diabetes type 1, which is auto-immune. While it is rare for a second child/sibling is get the same autoimmune disease, it is less rare for a sibling to get a different autoimmune disease. If you have the marker in your genes for autoimmunity--and my kids obviously do, or have the potential to, considering their sister's autoimmune arthritis--then you could at some point in life develop one of the many autoimmune disorders.

Type 1 diabetes is not a hereditary disease like type 2, but genes play a part in autoimmune disorders, as they did in Beth's juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I have two aunts and at least one cousin with autoimmune disorders. It is thought that the genetic potential, along with acquiring a virus to trigger the autoimmune response in your cells, are what precede the development of autoimmune diseases.

Moreover, it's common that your relatives may have a different autoimmune disorder than you end up with. One aunt may have MS, another aunt fibromyalgia, and then you could get type 1 diabetes, or juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, for example. And it's common that autoimmune disorders come in twos in a single person.

It isn't just your typical cold virus that triggers the autoimmune response, but more the pain-in-the-arse viruses, like coxsackievirus B, cytomegalovirus, adenovirus, rubella, and mumps.

Paul's BMI is only a 15, so he's at the border for being underweight--barely reaching the fifth percentile for BMI, although he's eating well. He's also more thirsty than my other children, and needs to snack more frequently. This disease develops slowly, but when all of a certain cell has been destroyed in the body, the symptoms seem to come on abruptly, giving the illusion that the onset was sudden.

This has been on my mind for several months, and it's time to schedule a physical for him and just ask for the simple blood glucose test to put these thoughts to rest. None of my other children have dealt with infected cuts or wounds or mosquito bites. and none of the others have had trouble gaining weight to keep up with their heights, except for a period of low weight for Beth, because of her disease. She is now at a healthy weight.

So, the knot in my stomach formed with Mary's tears and Paul's issue, and my mind wandered to the long, long, spring, summer and early fall we would experience if Mary's storm anxiety doesn't improve, and if Paul gets more skin infections.

The Lord reminded me...if you find your children's behavior stressful, wait an hour. It changes frequently.

And yes, it did. We got through Mary's reading lesson and she perked up and calmed down. I find, though, that my stress level doesn't calm down as soon as their moods do. There is a lingering effect that exhausts me, which is my problem to give to the Lord. The answer almost always is to count my blessings.

Easy Hallelujahs

~ Beautiful kids growing in the Lord

~ The Risen Lord to celebrate and give thanks for

~ Peter began a new OCD medicine earlier this week, and it began giving him relief within two days...Praise the Lord. Could be the placebo effect; I'll know more soon. The Prozac had stopped working after nearly three years, and so he now uses Zoloft, as recommended by the International OCD Foundation. It works on the serotonin balance so the brain's anxiety response calms down, and the patient can work on the therapy techniques being taught. Without medicine, many sufferers find the thoughts and the anxiety they cause are just so strong, they can't employ therapy techniques.

~ I encouraged Mary to go outside and face her storm anxiety (it was just lightly raining). She promptly found a frog to befriend, which cheered her up considerably and reminded her that God loves her and delights in blessing her. She was rewarded for facing her fears.

~ The bread baking is going well and is blessing my family.

~ Beth was supposed to have her eye surgery yesterday, but the cold she caught required a postponement. I list this as a blessing because I had prayed that the doctor would be at his absolute best on the morning of her surgery, which probably wasn't going to be the case and God knew that.

~ Paul loves Kahn Academy and is proving he's quite the self-directed learner. He's the best kind of student for unschooling, which I think works best with kids who don't need to be systematically taught. It isn't really Mom's philosophy which should dictate homeschooling methods, but more the kids' individual learning profiles. Paul has basically taught himself for years (using Sonlight and library books) and in doing so he's been able to work a couple years ahead of his grade level. That would never work for others in this house, though this week, because the kids were sick, I let them concentrate mostly on their interests and their library picks, since the usual stuff is harder to get through when you're a bit under the weather.

~ I love being with my kids, despite the difficult issues.

~ Peter is working very hard in planning his garden, and I've noticed that his ability to plan, organize and prioritize are being sharpened by the process. Gardeners are either planting or planning, all year long. It is detailed work, Peter is finding.

Update on bread making:

The instant yeast, also known as bread machine yeast, has yielded great loaves for us this week. I continue to bake one loaf a day, using the bread machine on just the dough cycle, which mixes it, kneads it, and lets it rise once. I then punch it down, get the air out, and shape it, put it in a sandwich loaf pan, and let it rise another 45 minutes to an hour. It then bakes 26 to 30 minutes, depending on the flour. White albino whole wheat takes 26 minutes, but regular whole wheat needs 30 minutes.

Halfway through the week I switched from albino white whole wheat to regular whole wheat, and found that the dough was stickier and needed another two T flour, and that the baking time increased by 4 minutes too. 

I am learning not to over rise the bread. It is supposed to be one inch over the pan measured at the highest point of the loaf. You are supposed to use your finger, from the tip to the first knuckle. The above picture is just about right, maybe a tad over, but the picture below is definitely over-risen, as you can tell by that stretched look. 

This was the best loaf and quite delicious. Once this week the bread had a hole in it, kind of like a cave. I learned that this can occur if you don't punch out all the air holes after the first rise. It's a good idea to use a rolling pin to go over it before shaping it.

I also learned that my water should be between 95 to 115 degrees for the best results (I started using a thermometer). If some of your ingredients are kept in the fridge, then the higher end water temp is better. The final dough product temperature is important, to ensure the yeast will work and you'll get the rise you need. I keep the flax seed, the vital wheat gluten, and the yeast in the fridge (as specified on the packages), so the warmer water ensures my final dough product is warm enough.

Last weekend the kids woke up to their Easter buckets. For the first time, they got socks and underwear, colored pencils and pads, and less candy. We give the buckets a week early so as not to associate Easter too much with bunnies and eggs and presents. We'll color eggs today, however, because the weather is the best for an outside hunt this afternoon.

We did do reading lessons this week. Mary learned about the uses of /aw/ and /au/, and the boys are reviewing the same thing in spelling. The yellow cards are the phonogram cards, and on the back is what the children need to memorize about the sound. For example, the back of this card states that /aw/ may be used at the end of English words (or in the middle). /Au/, in contrast, can't be used at the end of words because English words cannot end in a "u"

Peter did a lot of baking these last two weeks. Here are his cheese/whole wheat crackers. They were too rich and most of the kids couldn't eat them, but it was a valient effort. He also tried rolls but they didn't rise properly. He will try those again soon. Paul made pumpkin muffins, which all enjoyed.

Peter used his time to spot read several library books about Ohio gardening. He keeps notes about each type of plant and is keeping a calendar to help him remember when to plant which seeds. It has taken him time to become this organized, and I am very proud of him. This is where project learning really benefits kids. They learn to solve problems and prioritize and organize, and pace themselves as well. The goal is highly motivating for him, so he's working through the executive function issues caused by his ADHD.

I am finding that if I give them days to pursue their interests, or just enjoy their library picks, then we actually save money on curriculum because our curriculum will then last longer than a year, and the delight directed learning days help round out their education and their skills. The switch from curriculum days to library material days, or delight-learning days, does not seem to bother them because I keep a structure in place. Without that structure, things fall apart quickly around here.

Paul is determined to study each president of the United States, and the politics surrounding their presidencies, and on library days he goes full throttle with this. Often, too, he does it after school or on weekends. He studies geography too, using various library resources.

Paul and both my girls wanted me to buy them more fabric, put I'd already spent my limit on school supplies, so when I went through the spring and summer clothes this week, I gave them some pieces to work with that weren't good looking enough to give away, but still plenty nice for sewing. They were absolutely thrilled and Mary said, "This is the best day ever!" Mary and Paul taught Beth to use a needle without poking herself, so she can do simple things now. Paul helps her cut the fabric. She makes stuffed dolls and now, between the three of them, I can't keep cotton balls in the house.

It warms my heart to see them relaxing and working together this way, while I'm off washing and drying their clothes and making their meals and their daily bread. Paul is such a blessing to me and he loves the interaction with his siblings.

Peter does very little sewing and prefers his gardening passion, and more recently too, composting.

Threading a needle.

That's our week, with its numerous joys and its low points as well, emotionally and physically. Life is beautiful, full, and if you don't like it one hour, wait an hour. Things will look brighter, thanks to our Heavenly Father, who is full of grace and loves blessing us!

Happy Easter!

Did Christ Want to Die For Our Sins?

Our son Paul, very interested in theology, wrote a series of Easter devotionals for us, much like he did for Advent. Tonight he read the Garden of Gethsemane passage, which appears to feature Jesus trying to get out of his suffering on the cross, if God would allow it. My children had trouble with this passage, as I always have.

"But I thought", Peter exclaimed, "that Jesus wanted to die for us!"

Scripture source here: 32 They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” 33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.”

35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. 36 “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter,“are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

39 Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. 40 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

41 Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 42 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Our son Peter's quick interpretation is the usual interpretation of this passage. Most sermons or writings on it surmise that our Lord was sorrowful about the anticipated suffering--so sorrowful that he wanted another way. He asked if the "cup" could "pass" from him. The writing seems clear...what else could this mean?

And yet, this standard interpretation is contrary to the Jesus we see throughout the gospels. Jesus' will and the Father's will were never separated.

Though Jesus was divine, he chose to accept the limitations of a physical body while on earth. Twice, angels administered to his physical body. Once, after the forty days in the desert, and again, after his prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. He tired like we do and he hungered and sorrowed. He exhibited signs of physical stress, and he relied on the Father to strengthen him physically.

After forty days in the desert....

Matthew 4:8-11 The Temptation of Jesus (scripture source here)

8Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9“All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

10Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’e ”

11Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

An angel appears in the garden...

Luke 22:43 An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.

Physical evidence presented below paints a picture of an exhausted, overcome man:

"And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground" (Luke 22:44). Matthew and Mark affirm, "he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me" (Matt. 26:37-38, cf. Mark 14:33-34).

Have those words ever jumped out at you before? Is it possible to sweat drops of blood? See below:

This was written by the physician Luke, a well-educated man and a careful observer by profession.
Although this medical condition is relatively rare, according to Dr. Frederick Zugibe (Chief Medical Examiner of Rockland County, New York) it is well-known, and there have been many cases of it. The clinical term is “hematohidrosis.” “Around the sweat glands, there are multiple blood vessels in a net-like form.” Under the pressure of great stress the vessels constrict. Then as the anxiety passes “the blood vessels dilate to the point of rupture. The blood goes into the sweat glands.” As the sweat glands are producing a lot of sweat, it pushes the blood to the surface - coming out as droplets of blood mixed with sweat.

Luke is also the only gospel writer to mention the bloody sweat, possibly because of his interest as a physician in this rare physiological phenomenon, which spoke elequently of the intense spiritual agony Jesus was suffering… (Dr. Henry M. Morris, The Defenders Bible, marginal notes for Luke 22:44)

If Jesus wasn't praying to get out of his anticipated suffering, what was he praying for?

Consider the interpretation below, offered here and here.

The Lord’s request in Matthew 26:39 is sandwiched between two other important statements. Jesus had just told the disciples, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me" (Matt. 26:38). Then after the prayer He said to them, "Watch and pray, that you enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matt. 26:41). Please notice the statements, "sorrowful unto death," and "the flesh is weak." Jesus was not afraid of dying before He made it to the cross, but He was obviously concerned about the limitations of His physical body. Jesus possessed "all of the fullness of deity," but that divine fullness "tabernacled" or "was housed" in a fleshly, human body. This is what is meant by the expression "dwelt among us" in John 1:14. The Lord’s earthly role required a physical, human, flesh and blood body (Heb. 10:5; 2:14). He used this body to "taste death for every man." (Heb. 2:9). A divine person could only experience death by His being joined to a fleshly body, for death occurs when the spirit separates from the body (James 2:26). In accepting this body, Jesus accepted its limitations. This explains why Jesus could be hungry, thirsty, and tired (Matt. 4:2; Jn. 19:28; Matt. 8:20).

This also explains the Lord’s garden prayer.

As we have learned from clear passages, Jesus knew He would die on the cross. This fact was never in dispute. This was a matter that was foreordained by God before the very foundation of the world. However, as the above passages bear out, Jesus was concerned about His own physical ability. John 18:4 tells us that Jesus knew all things that would come upon Him. Jesus was already physically taxed, and He knew that He would be physically weakened even more by the scourging and other physical abuses. He foresaw that His strength would literally fail before He could make it all the way to Golgotha. We are told that the solders made Simon carry the cross the rest of the way up the hill (Luke 23:26). In the garden, Jesus began to feel the effects of His mission. This was compounded with the knowledge He had of what lay before Him. His garden prayer was not the vacillating prayer of a weak and cowardly man who was trying to avoid death. Quite the contrary, He was praying for the physical strength and help necessary to endure the cross!

When Jesus prayed that the hour "might pass" from him, what exactly did he mean? Consider the interpretation below, found here.

What Does the Expression "Pass Away" Mean?
The most obvious fact about this expression is that a thing cannot "pass away" if it has never existed in the first place. Jesus said, "Heaven and earth shallpass away, but my words shall not pass away." How will the universe pass away? Hebrews 1:10-12 tells us that it will grow old and Jesus will fold it up as one folds up a garment. 2 Peter 3:10 tells us that the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat... Notice that in order for the universe to "pass away" it had to first exist. In order for a generation to pass it had to have first lived (Matt. 24:34). In order for a man to "pass away" he had to first live. In like manner, the Lord's "cup" had to be an existing condition for it to be able to "pass."

W.E. Vine defines this particular Greek word (parerchomai) as, "to come or go; to pass or pass by." The best explanation of the expression "let this cup pass" in Matthew 26:39 and Luke 22:42 is found in the inspired commentary of Mark's account of the same prayer. The KJV tells us that Jesus prayed that, "if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him" (Mark 14:35). The same word is found in Matthew 14:15 where it says, "the time is now past."Luke also used this word in Acts 27:9 when he wrote, "Now when much time was spent." In the garden prayer, Jesus prayed for the Father to help Him get through His cup of agony and that is precisely what the Father helped Him do. As we have already observed, the prayer was answered, the cup passed away. 

Having foreseen His future work, and even telling about it hundreds of years in advance, Jesus had sure and certain knowledge that He would die on the cross. Both David's type of Christ in Psalm 22, and the prophet's words in Zechariah 12:10, represent Jesus using first person language to tell the world what He would come to the earth to do. Zechariah recorded the Lord's words, "They will look upon me, the one whom they have pierced." Jesus' fulfillment of these passages was more certain than the universe itself (Lk. 16:17). In the garden prayer, Jesus was not looking for a way to avoid the cross, as some are teaching. He was praying for successful accomplishment. Jesus prayed for the passing of the hour of His grief, and that is exactly what happened. His prayer was answered. The Father provided both the strength (Luke 22:43) and the physical support (Luke 23:26) that Jesus needed to succeed in His mission.

There is strong evidence for the argument that Jesus would never have tried to get out of the anticipated suffering. See the following passages for evidence of the strength of his commitment to the Cross:

He clearly taught the principle of his atonement when he said, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. . . and I lay down my life for the sheep" (John 10:11, 15). Jesus echoes this thought again, saying, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). source

Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "Never, Lord!" he said, "This shall not happen to you!" Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Out of my sight, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men" (Matt. 16:21-23). (Mark's account - 8:31-33 - adds that Jesus "spoke plainly about this.") source

Not only did Jesus repeatedly acknowledge that his death would come to pass, he also repeatedly stated his confident commitment to dying on behalf of sinners. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees just before his last trip to Jerusalem, challenging them, "Go tell that fox [Herod], 'I will drive out demons and heal people today and tomorrow, and on the third day I will reach my goal.' In any case I must keep going today and tomorrow and the next day - for surely no prophet can die outside Jerusalem" (Luke 13:32-33).

After Jesus's resurrection he rebuked two of his disciples for failing to understand the necessity of his death, burial and resurrection, saying, "How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" Even though Christ said this after his resurrection, there is no reason to believe that he came to this conviction after his struggle in the Garden. In fact, he clearly says that even the disciples should have always known the inevitability of the cross because of the prophets. If he held the disciples accountable for what the prophets said, how much more would he, the very One of whom they prophesied, (5) be held accountable?

In fact, the crucifixion of Christ is the gospel (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). The gospel without the cross is no gospel at all (1 Cor. 2:2). Jesus concluded his commission of the disciples with this confident focus: "This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem" (Luke 24:46-47). source for last three paragraphs

So my answer to my son Peter is "Yes!" Christ wanted to die for us!" He wanted nothing for himself in that garden, save the physical strength to fulfill his purpose.

Everything Jesus said and everything he did paints a picture of how we are called to live. He came as a servant, humble and physically weak, willing to be strengthened by the Father, instead of relying on his own strength. He fulfilled his mission in the Father's strength and he prayed earnestly for that strength, just as we are called to do. 

He submitted to the Father in everything, even though he was also divine and could have exerted another will. His will was always in accordance with the Father's, as ours should be.

We are passing through here, just like Jesus did, and to fulfill our purpose we need strength. We need to utter a daily Garden of Gethsemane prayer, acknowledging our weakness, our exhaustion, our utter reliance on the Father. It may not be angels who come to minister to us, but we'll be "heard" nevertheless. Our willingness to surrender our will, and to be obedient unto death, will be our joy. 

Happy Easter, dear friends! May your spirit soar as you contemplate the risen Lord this week.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Philippians 3:10 “…that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death…”

When a Child Suffers: How to Avoid Despair

I set the breakfast table with oatmeal and nature, opening the blinds in our sunroom/dining room to invite God's glory into our hearts and minds.

"Oh no! Look at those dark clouds! Somebody check the weather!" 

And so Mary sank into despair, anticipating God's know what...tornadoes, the roof being blow away, intense thunder and lightening...a crisis beyond compare.

Anxiety doesn't make sense, ever. All common sense exits when it enters the room. It's like a destructive wave, trying to pull all our faculties with it.

Thunder is in the forecast this week, but not today, which will only hit the mid-50's. But I don't concentrate on the forecast with her. Each day her storm phobia invites her to concentrate on the weather, and not on God's glory, strength, or omniscience.

Last year we complied and read her the weather word for word, but sometimes left certain things out without actually lying. God has sharpened my ability to counsel and this year, I've decided not to make it about the weather, no matter how much she pushes.

So I said:

"God is the same today as he was yesterday. His power is greater than any storm in our lives. If the roof blows away, he is still the same gracious, glorious, loving, all-powerful God, able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine."

So each time the fear comes, concentrate on the promises and the power of God, not on the skies. You know a lot of verses by heart that will help you."

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

Mary and Peter both deal with crippling anxiety at times, and it is tempting, when they are out of control with it, to see it as my battle. In fact, the younger the child, the easier it is to see it as our battle.

The whole family is upset when someone is dealing with out-of-control anxiety. It's all encompassing and all activities just hit a standstill until it passes. Even the unaffected can't concentrate well.

In order not to sink into deep despair myself, I have to maintain a perspective--separating myself from my children. I am responsible for comforting and counseling them, with patience and lovingkindness, but I'm not responsible for the battles God has deemed acceptable in their lives.

No other time is it as clear that they are God's, not mine, than when they are suffering or making mistakes. They are individuals, entrusted to my care and to my heart, but their battles are not mine. Each child of God battles afflictions of some sort, and it's important that in parenting our children, we lead them to God, not to ourselves.

We are not the answer. We are not the crutch. We are not the comfort their souls crave. Our loving arms can give them a taste of Jesus' love, and our counsel can give them a taste of the Lord's wisdom, but it really ends there.

The specific burden isn't important--whether depression, anxiety, disorder, or disease. All burdens are allowed in our lives for one purpose: to drive us to the Cross, to cause us to lean on Him so His glory can shine through our weaknesses.

I have to read about their various afflictions, yes. I have to be informed. I have to know how to respond helpfully, but I can't put my hope in psychology or medicine. The past several years have driven that point home.

Last year I was sure a psychologist specializing in Exposure Response Prevention was the answer for Peter. I tell you...I was so sure! And the therapy is in fact well proven, but not everybody responds. Thirty percent don't. And some others haven't hit rock bottom yet and think they still have control over their OCD. They reject the excruciating nature of exposing themselves to their fears.

I felt so defeated and discouraged, and I knew then that I hadn't put my hope properly in God.

This year promises, thus far, to be as difficult as last year with both Mary and Peter's issues. The Holy Spirit reminds me of these things:

~ Don't get stuck in today. The Lord is always working and we have to exercise patience in affliction. He is intimately acquainted with our children as individuals. He knit them together and he loves them far more than we do. Just think of that for a minute and marvel at it. Far more than we do. He's got this crisis.

~  Get on your knees. Plead with God on their behalf. Don't get so caught up in despair and worry that you forget to pray. Good parenting is prayer. Period.

~ Don't take responsibility for their reactions. Suppose they don't heed counsel and you don't see them praying or trying to improve at all? Disengage from their choices and let God work. He is chiseling away at them; they are masterpieces to him. They are not bundles of despair for good. Believe, Mom. Just believe. It may take months or years, depending on the affliction. But persevere in believing.

~ Don't judge.  It is hard to understand out-of-control anxiety and depression. If you don't know it yourself, especially refrain from judgement. I can tell from my children's symptoms that it's extremely powerful and can't be willed away. It takes them for a ride, and they have to decide when they've had enough and want to get off. It is a process requiring incredible courage. How mature do they have to be to make that decision? I don't know, but God does and he has not left the room. 

~ Post comforting verses and proven coping mechanisms on the walls, but don't preach them constantly. Your child needs to see you as more of a supporter and encourager then as a hard-driving counselor. Love and pray first, counsel second. Maybe stick with one short counseling session a day? Or only when you've learned a new counseling technique? Refrain from counseling every time fear or depression enter the room.

~ Don't neglect your own spiritual feedings. It is hard not to hit the psychology or medical books when you've run out of answers and stamina. As moms we always want to solve everything and in a sense this is a sign of hope. It is proactive. But in what are we placing our hope? Our children are watching and we need to make it abundantly clear where our hope lies. By all means, be informed. But always reach for the Bible, for prayer sessions, first, and the medical opinions after that.

~ Don't neglect family devotions. It is easy when everyone is emotionally exhausted to just skip family devotions. The heaviness makes it that much harder to concentrate, but stick with your daily family devotions anyway, as a discipline. Look upon this as your sustenance as a family. It is the glue that sticks you together as a unit, and it's what God mandates for parents. It can be messy and loud and not beautiful at all some nights or mornings, but do it. Just do it.

If you have a child suffering, let me know and I will pray with you. You are not alone, Mom.

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Joy, Self-Pity, and the Victim Mentality

"Why do I have to have so many problems?" he asked through tears. His morning had been dominated by an oppressive OCD attack. He'd shouted, cried, and verbally wounded others, frustrated by everything.

And me? I fought hard for my own joy, trying to battle perimenopausal-linked pain like a Christian soldier. Hormonal swings are a challenge for every woman, in every part of life, and short of taking good care of ourselves and praying, there's nothing to be done but fight for joy through it.

Onward, Christian soldiers, marching as to war, 

with the cross of Jesus going on before. 

Christ, the royal Master, leads against the foe;
forward into battle see his banners go!

I immediately recognized the problem with my son's question:

"Why do I have to have so many problems?"

If you have special-needs children, or special needs of your own (and who doesn't?), you know self-pity. And the Holy Spirit? He's doing his work in your heart, no doubt. When we give in to the pity there's that nagging prick of conscience, and the more we resist the rebuke, the more miserable we feel.

With our salvation, we've been given the best. We are more blessed, more alive, more joyful, more at peace than the vast majority of humanity. Oh, Lord, may we never lose that perspective!

Self-pity is sin. It's also dysfunctional thinking that can create unfortunate operant conditioning patterns in our brains. When we give in to self-pity, the thought patterns are reinforced by the temporary uplift we get from seeing ourselves as victims rather than as thoughtful beings with choices. We don't feel culpable, which gives us a temporary relief from having to do something about our situation. 

After we've been truly victimized, we need a victim stance. We need to know our horrible experience was not our fault, but the fault of the perpetrator. But over time if we don't take responsibility for our responses to life, we become victims again--this time of our own dysfunctional thought patterns.

The longer we allow self-pity, the longer it takes to reform the way we think. A victim mentality prevents us from experiencing peace and joy. It also prevents us from being able to bless and love our neighbor. A victim is focused inwardly, while a filled-up soul, rich on Jesus' love, feels compelled to share that love.

Joy is a matter of position and perspective and Jesus has changed both for us. Through the Cross and the torn tabernacle curtain He's given us access to himself (position) and made us spiritually alive (perspective).

Take your child into your arms, or your own harried soul, and pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank you for salvation and for your ever-present Spirit, always ready to comfort us in our afflictions. Help us choose joy this day, counting our blessings rather than our afflictions. Help us to sit at your feet and have our joy renewed. Thank you for your presence and love and your gentle rebukes. You never give up on us and we are so grateful!

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice

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Kids! Help Save Monarch Butterflies

I found this link on Simple Homeschool.

Help the Monarch Butterfly

PLEDGE TODAY! Upload a photo of you, making the American Sign Language sign for butterfly, as your pledge to help the Monarch butterfly. The sign for butterfly is made by linking your thumbs and crossing your two hands in front of you at the wrists with your palms facing you. After taking the pledge, you will receive a Butterfly Garden Starter Kit, while supplies last. Once you have your kit, learn how to garden and watch your wildlife garden bloom!

Read the rest and enter your child or individual family here, at the National Wildlife Federation's website. You could win a trip for 4 to Disney World!