I miss this blog...this white page in front of me. All the thoughts, reflections and Holy Spirit whispers come together here, jumbled at first, but by the time I insert the last punctuation mark, clarity is mine. I love it.
But the fall homeschool and chore schedules haven't been written yet. My mother has flown back to Oregon but there's still some church business coupled with homeschool business--both keeping me from claiming this white page.
I serve as a Birth-Kindergarten Children's Ministry Coordinator for my church (six weeks on the job). Prior to my stepping in there was no supervision over the two classrooms. The prior director taught Sunday School and she couldn't coordinate at the same time.
I asked my volunteers for a couple minor things, with the Pastor's blessing. Be in your classroom 15 minutes prior to the start of service and please check the number tags when releasing a child to a parent. The tags were already in use but the church fell lax in verifying them upon pickup.
I've been actively recruiting too, for the past six weeks. Two newborns have joined our church and will soon need one-on-one ministry in the nursery, meaning we need three adults per week instead of two. And the preschool room was insufficiently staffed as well.
The volunteer response has been good from the congregation, but as I've asked for promptness and tag checking, two people have stepped down from their long-time positions. The same people who from the beginning were unfriendly rather than thankful (for leadership).
And so I'm learning that dealing with people--sinners, all of us--is not easy. I'm suffering a little insomnia as I process why someone would step down because of a tiny bit of structure gently imposed upon them (I'm not an in-your-face person at all and I praise well). As I reflect I'm realizing that the best role model for the children is someone with a humble, teachable heart. A heart that can take reasonable, necessary direction without hostility or pride--for the good of the children involved.
Whenever we feel like quitting--whatever it is--we have to analyze what's driving our desire and ask the Holy Spirit for help in sorting out the sinful from the legitimate. We can't trust our hearts, which are deceitful above all, scripture tells us. Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
The whole ministry experience makes me sad just now, even though most volunteers have stayed and most are helpful and friendly. There are two more that have been unfriendly and unless the Holy Spirit intervenes, I expect they might make a move soon too. I'm sad that humility is the last thing we covet as a church community, and as women working together.
I was safe before I volunteered for this. You know that feeling? I liked safe but that ad in the church bulletin, asking for ministry help, kept blaring week after week until I could no longer ignore it, especially given that my four children benefit from Sunday school ministry.
Nevertheless, I'm not sorry I said yes; I know God has a reason for this journey.
I want to offer a prayer that we'll have brave and humble hearts.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord, you are so faithful to us. Thank you that you always sit by the way and talk with us. You always have time to listen and to mold, taking the impure out and replacing it with Truth. Make us a humble people taking after your Son, rather than after Eve in the garden. May we not insist on our own way, but make way for You. May we serve bravely, not clinging to safety but trusting in you. We want it to be about you and never about us. Send us running to your Word and to prayer with a wild hunger and thirst.
As homemakers, wives and mothers, help us to live sacrificially with a smile not a grumble. We ask for the wisdom to choose our pursuits and our battles well. Reign victoriously, Father, in every heart in our home. May our lives reflect your will, your love, your agenda.
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.