Thursday, May 21, 2015

Messy Glory

Psalms 47:1 Clap your hands, all peoples! Shout to God with loud songs of joy!

Life is breathtakingly beautiful.

One minute my spirit aches profoundly, thinking OCD belongs in the pit of hell and when is God going to send my son's in that direction already?

Ten minutes later? A wild giggle rumpus ensues as I tickle my six-year-old silly during her reading lesson and she grabs my neck crazy and tells me she can't believe how much she loves me. And such gratitude fills my heart over mothering these magnificent children--reflections of His majesty, every one of them.

Messy glory.

An hour later the filth on the floor--the floor I just swept not 30 hours ago--brings my spirit down, because for the love of Pete the days are too short and the work too plentiful.

While I sweep sorry my son brings me two Compassion letters--one from Nelson pictured with his mother.

His artistry amazes us!

They bought 4 pairs of shoes, some sandals and 3 suits and he writes "I feel so happy to be writing you. I feel so thankful that you are my sponsor. Do you like animals that live in the water? I want to tell you about my favorite hobbies. I like to play soccer a lot. I like to listen to music. I have a pet; it is a dog called Lokio. I have a lot of fun playing with the puppy, and I feed him, too. I ask for your prayers that God will continue blessing us."

"That God will continue blessing us." An unspoiled child's gracious heart. Beautiful.

Nothing soars my spirit like a Compassion child's letter and suddenly I sweep with joy and dance with the broom to amuse my math-calculating girls seated at the table.

Followed by more wretched OCD and I wonder if my son will end up in a residential facility, for his school now takes double the time it ever did because of lengthy, consuming rituals while he reads, calculates, writes. Life passes him by--the minutes, hours, days stolen from him by a brain glitch he can't tame...yet.

I read, counsel, pray, trusting in God to redeem it all in a miracle of grace.

Later Mary reads her new beginning-reader Bible and the Spirit makes it all flow beautiful and you'd never know dyslexia existed and my heart and head jump for joy and her cheeks get showered with kisses and praise and my Rosie Posey glows.

Thirty minutes later she doesn't like the dark sky and plummets into depression and sorrow and fear and my own heart is cast down, only to soar when her brother brings in a toad to knock her happiness quotient into the clouds and my son has never looked more beautiful to me.

I praise God for devotions that cement us together in Him and my gratitude magnifies with each heart-felt prayer offered.

And He speaks to me, telling me that even if it never gets any better, it's still beautiful and he's still our King, our Redeemer, our Maker of all things wise and wonderful.

Life wouldn't be nearly so beautiful if it weren't so messy. The Spirit invites us to fight back with joy and open our hearts to Grace. Joy, invincible, squeezes Hope out of a vulnerable, aching humanity dearly loved by the Maker.

Romans 15:13 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

How did joy catch you today, friends?

2 comments: said...

Beautiful post. I love Tigger at the top. I often compare my youngest to Tigger - what a wonderful bundle of energy and fun (and mischief) she is! Every year her teachers comment on how enthusiastic she is. This can lead to trouble at home, but she's a dear little girl.

Your frustrations sound similar to mine... probably to all housewives, especially those of us with special needs children (and spouses!). I will keep your dear boy in my prayers.

Thank you for your friendship from afar, Christine, and your thoughtful comments over on my blog.

Christine said...

I have a few Tiggers here. :) My son sure needs your prayers and we grateful for them, Sandy. Have a blessed day!