Thursday, September 2, 2010

My Charlotte Mason Makeover

My homeschooling identity crisis is over!  No, I've haven't spoken of a crisis here, but for three months I've searched for truth.  Truth in education.

And the conclusion?  I'm a Charlotte Mason kind of gal!  I wouldn't generally describe myself as a purist, but in this case, I really am.  Everything I've observed about children and learning lines up perfectly with what Charlotte believed and taught.

To get to the heart of what I knew to be true and right, I had to toss out practices I've adhered to simply because they were mainstream and expected.  I had to really think!

Charlotte's beliefs are fairly straightforward:  

- No formal schooling until six years old.  Children younger than six need to play and be outside, observing nature.  They also need to hear good stories throughout the day.

- Character development and knowledge of God are of utmost importance.

- Nature study is the best way to introduce children to God.

- The formation of good life habits, concentrated attention, and excellent execution, are all paramount.

- Short lessons of 10 to 20 minutes for primary children.

- All lessons complete by lunchtime, so that students can develop their interests in the remaining hours of the day.

- Reading only the best that literature has to offer (living books) in all subject areas, even if it means Mom does all the reading at first.  The literature Charlotte emphasized supported and furthered character development in her students.

- Having students ( 6+ years old) give a short narration of everything that has been read, in every subject.  The narration is simply an oral summary; length is not important.

- Elements of good writing are first introduced through copywork and dictation.  Copywork (transcription) is simply copying a small portion of Scripture or other good piece of literature (at first this is just handwriting practice).  Dictation consists of a student briefly studying a short passage, and then writing that passage as teacher dictates it. 

- Writing composition is delayed until about age ten.  This sounds shocking, and at first I thought--no way!  But as I thought more and more and remembered many experiences as a teacher, it began to ring true and right.  A student doesn't have much to aptly say until they've been exposed to years of the best literature, and until they've narrated much of that good literature.  The cohesive thoughts, the rich language, the complex sentence structure, all happen so naturally, after they've had a proper filling!  

Of course they can learn to write earlier than this (both my sons write), but it takes a lot more time and effort, leading to frustration for both parent and child.  Yes, there have been tears here.

My conclusion on this writing issue comes partially from my blog reading.  While I only have time to read three or four blogs a day, I make sure that most of the posts are written by published writers (while still keeping up with my online friends).  I've learned so much!  This next truth isn't new to me, but lately I've relearned it.  Exceptional writers are avid readers.  They're always in the middle of a book--whether fiction or non-fiction.  


Being regularly bathed in prose means beautiful words just spill out, effortlessly.  



The following is an excerpt from Ambleside Online's FAQ page, regarding the use of narration.  Ambleside is a free Charlotte Mason Curriculum resource.  They don't sell anything or earn any money.  The site was put together by devoted homeschool moms.  It's an incredible resource!

Why is narration so important and how do I do it?

"Narration - your child telling back what he's heard or read - is perhaps the most important key to making this kind of education work. Narration requires the higher-level mental activities of processing, sorting, sequencing, sifting and articulating information. Filling in blanks in a workbook can't match narration as a comprehension exercise. Oral narration is also the first step toward composition - the child becomes adept at articulating his thoughts in order, which is required in writing. Thoughts should be formulated in the mind before they are put on paper. Although simply 'telling back' is the most focused form of narration and probably the most challenging to the mental processes we are seeking to develop, some parents occasionally break up the usual routine by using other forms of narration, such as acting out, playing out, or drawing what children have heard. You can have a CM education without classical music, art, or Shakespeare--but you can't have a CM education without narration from living books. In fact, it isn't too extreme to say that a lesson that isn't narrated may be a wasted lesson! "





So, my task now is to collect all of the good literature suggested by Ambleside Online, across the many subject areas.  Some I've already found by searching Ohio libraries.  A few of the inexpensive pieces of literature (less than ten dollars), I've ordered from Amazon.


Suffice it to say, I'm excited!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Lead Me

Lead me, a new song by Sanctus Real.  Every time I hear it, I cry.  It's such a beautiful picture of what God wants for families.  I've written some commentary after the lyrics.  These thoughts swirl around my head each time I hear this song.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

When did our society get away from the husband as head of the home?

Was it when women left the home?  Did the birth control pill start all the confusion, in terms of Christian gender roles?

Huge numbers of our men don't know how to lead, or how to fully support a family financially.  I wonder how many families would lose their homes, if women left the workplace?  How many families would struggle to pay the mortgage and buy food and gas--not to mention keep up with those credit cards?

When women began leaving the home in huge numbers, we must have changed how we raised our boys (as well as our girls).  No longer were boys and young men trained to put a wife and children above themselves--living and loving sacrificially, working as though it all depended on them.  With the ease of their burden, they didn't need to rely on the Lord as much.

Half of their weight shifted to women, who began to lead themselves.

And the children?  They were left with no leader at all.

Are we "liberated", with the advent of the birth control pill--with women in the workplace?  And what are we liberated from?  Isn't the average family more stressed now, than before?  Isn't the average woman more stressed now, than before? And isn't the average man weaker than before?

Caring for children day in and day out is sanctifying work.  How sanctifying is workplace work?

Respecting and following an imperfect husband is sanctifying work.  How sanctifying is leading ourselves?

Working hard to support and lead a family is sanctifying work for our men.  How sanctifying is relying on your wife's income, either to buy a nicer house, or to buy pricey boy-toys?

How sanctifying is it for families to use credit cards, because of our addiction to experiences and to things?

Are we better off without leaders in our homes?  What foundation is under our families now?

How can we get back to God's design for the Christian family?

I don't have any answers, or any judgments.  I only know that when God's design is followed, our families are strong--our society is strong.

And our Lord is glorified!

Who is glorified now, in our society?

The individual?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

rest in his arms tonight, friend

I don't have time to blog tonight.  Really, I don't.  But this day (Sat.) was so ripe with frustration, I need to sort out my thoughts.

There is always an answer to frustration.  The Lord is not a God of confusion or of disorder.  He provides rest for our souls. (Matthew 11:28-30)

We need not worry. (Philippians 4:6-7).

If we feel those things, something is off kilter--we're making an idol of something, or trying to please someone other than God.

So knowing this, I shall go through my frustrations in no particular order, asking the Lord for guidance.

1.  The fall clothes storage boxes are still sitting in my living room, having no other home.  I have more sorting to do, but the temps haven't gone low enough to warrant removing the summer clothing from our closets.  Only the mornings feel like fall; by noon, it feels like summer.  So, the storage boxes take up space in my living room, driving me crazy.  It's too much trouble to take them back to the shed, especially since I've already laundered the clothes we'll need for fall.

- Why am I bothered by the boxes, really?  They don't look all that messy.  The room just looks cluttered.  Am I doing the best I can to provide an orderly home, given that I have no help with the children, and that one of them, a toddler, needs constant supervision?   Yes, I am doing my best.  And the children aren't going to remember that when they were ages 1, 3, 6, and 8, Mommy had a number of storage boxes in the living room for a few weeks.

My off-kilter issue here is that I'm not remembering what God desires from me, as wife and mother.  What is important to God, in terms of my time?

Just that I, through His strength, love and respect my husband, and instruct my children in the truth of the Lord, while not eating the bread of idleness.  Nothing more.  When homecare frustrations mount in this season of life, I need to narrow my focus.  God's priorities must be mine.

2.  The children ruined the blinds in their bedroom and in the playroom.  Baby is the culprit in the playroom, and Mary and Peter in the bedroom.  I tried to stand the less-than-private situation as long as I could, but having such a big gap in coverage really bothers me.  Privacy makes me feel safe, and I spend a lot of time in this house--day and night--without my husband.  Today I spent money to remedy both situations--simple curtains in the playroom, and cheap replacement blinds in the bedroom.  We're both furious with the kids over these expenditures.  We've explained so often that we don't have money to replace things, and they were warned many times that the blinds were getting worse and worse.  Peter has anxiety and pulls the blinds apart whenever he hears a sound outside the window.  Mary pulls them apart to look outside when she has trouble falling asleep.

Children do childish things, of course, and they disobey.  But am I failing them, that they couldn't show restraint?  I think probably not.  Even if I were a perfect parent, they would still do childish things at this stage.  Part of my frustration comes in not knowing how tough to be on them for childish issues.  In this case, Daddy spanked them for the disobedience (although not the baby), and we told the two children they couldn't have any of their own food at the fair tomorrow--only bites of what Daddy chooses for himself, because of the money needed to replace the blinds.

My off-kilter issue here, I think, is that I'm trying to raise the kids in my own strength, rather than taking each situation to the Lord, and asking for wisdom (James 1:5).  If I pray beforehand, my response will always be of the Lord, and I need not worry about whether it was the right thing.

3.  While Peter still suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, his anxiety about being away from us is improving.  It began in 2009 during VBS.   Daddy accidentally left Mary in the nursery and came home with just the boys.  He immediately went back for Mary, but since then, separation anxiety has been rampant in Peter's life.  He's been convinced we'll leave him alone somewhere.  In an encouraging development,  Peter went to VBS this summer without much difficulty, even though neither husband or myself could stay and help.

While I am encouraged about that progress, something else has surfaced in the last few months.  Each night he worries at bedtime that I'm going to skip out on my children--take off into the sunset.  I have no car most nights, but that doesn't deter him from this recurring thought pattern.  He comes out to the living room where I'm either writing or reading, cleaning or folding, to check on me and tell me he is scared.  This often keeps him up an additional 45 minutes, making me feel like I can never get a moment's peace.  If he hears the front door open or close as I take out some recycling (during the day or in the evening), he runs toward the door with a panic-stricken face, breaking my heart.

His anxiety is a co-morbid disorder, often occurring with ADHD.  There is nothing I can do about it.  Absolutely nothing.  You can't talk an anxious person out of their fears.  They don't believe you.  Peter tells me outright that he doesn't trust me, although he wants to.  He tries to.  Telling him how much I enjoy being a mother does no good.  Telling him how blessed I am to be his mother, does no good.


His doctor knows about these fears.  If they don't improve with maturity and they significantly affect Peter's quality of life, anti-anxiety medication is warranted.  Hearing this, I envision Peter being on it for life, despite the unpleasant side effects associated with this type of medication.  My brother, who also has ADHD with anxiety,  has to take anti-anxiety medication to continue driving a car.

The number one answer to my stress over Peter's problems?  Give thanks. Count my blessings.  It could be worse--he's not, after all, suffering from a terminal condition.  And God's strength is revealed though our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9).  His grace really is sufficient, even when disability causes pain and discomfort.  Through His grace, my heart and Peter's heart can embrace disorder, being happy to serve the Lord through it.

So, how are you this Saturday night?  Are you burdened or frustrated?  Get paper and pencil.  List each bothersome issue, and ask God for help.  Then, sit back in your easy chair, close your eyes, and listen for his wisdom.

The next thing that pops into your head will probably be of him.  Funny how that happens.

Rest and peace will then be yours.

The alternative is that you can stew over your frustrating issues all evening and into the night, leading to fatigue in all your endeavors.

Rest in his arms tonight, friend!