My gratitude list:
- my two boys reciting AWANA verses with joy and precision
- my two boys learning how to really study
- Hinds' Feet on High Places, by Hannah Hurnard, adapted for children by Dian Layton. This is the best children's devotional I've seen. My boys are hanging on every word.
- The True Tale of Johnny Appleseed, by Margaret Hodges. What a gem! It highlights John Chapman's Christianity (Chapman was Johnny's real last name).
- motherhood
- when Mary says "Read it again!"
- my sweet toddler, cupping my face in her hands in the wee hours, telling me she wants to "Nur!" (nurse). What a joy she is to me! What a joy nursing is!
- two boys with passionate interests...passionate hearts
- my local librarian
- having all my meals with my children, who are my favorite companions, along with their Daddy
- homeschooling
- good literature
- motherhood
- double chocolate chip cookies
- hearty homemade soup for lunch
- bedtime stories (my favorite time of the day)
- peeking out the window at four beautiful children (mine, no less!), laughing and playing in our yard
- my oldest boy, raking up and bagging leaves like a champ
- motherhood
- my Mary, who is an intriguing mix of sweetness and independence
- my Beth trying to get in the middle of every hug I give to her siblings
- sisterly love
- motherhood
Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.
Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us,
and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise:
be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;
and his truth endureth to all generations.
Psalms 100:1-5
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I Know Your Worst Parenting Mistake
Blog topics form in my head based upon the type of day I had. Monday was a challenging day, partially, I believe, because the kids were over-scheduled on Sunday. Morning church, followed by only a few hours at home before they were whisked off to a park playdate (which they loved!), then home for dinner, followed immediately by art class and then bedtime prep. They simply didn't have enough time at home, which they love and need, even if they can't articulate it. I remember Monday always being a difficult day when I was a teacher, also. Students were tired and cranky on Mondays, probably because of later bedtimes and a lot of activities.
So, based upon my personal challenges, I humbly bring you this post.
________________________________________________________
What was your worst parenting mistake ever? I mean your very worst!
Was it that time you served cake for breakfast? (No....I've never done that. Shame on you, girl!)
Or the time you rewarded a public fit by giving in?
Or was it the time you gave a stern punishment, only to find out later that no wrong was committed--you just hadn't listened well enough?
Was it the time you became seriously unglued over spilled milk, acting so despicably even your husband was quieted and traumatized? (Um, yeah. I'm ashamed to say this has happened here.)
I'm not a fly on your wall, thank goodness, but I could probably guess your worst parenting mistake.
It's the same as mine.
Not enough grace or mercy.
How many times have you lost your temper, only to have your children turn around and extend the sweetest, tear-jerking grace toward you? Have you ever known them to hold a grudge over one of Mommy's sins? Has your children's approval of you ever been based on your performance?
Now, let's turn the tables. We love our children unconditionally, sure. But is that what gets expressed? Or are we forever getting annoyed at their shortcomings? Pajamas left on the floor everyday, despite a chore list? Mud tracked in way too often, despite reminders and safeguards? School stuff not put away...again? Toothpaste everywhere and the cap left off....again?
Nag, nag, nag. Drippy faucet parenting. We're good at that, aren't we?
How does our Lord parent us? Does he lack patience, gentleness, self-control? Is his love based on our performance? When we commit the same wrongs over and over, does he berate us and make us feel small--like failures?
We all know the answer.
So right now, let's make sticky notes and put them in the bathroom and kitchen, reminding us that our approval of our children can't be based on their performance. They, like us, are works in progress, destined to fail often.
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. (Psalms 103:8-14 KJV)
So, based upon my personal challenges, I humbly bring you this post.
________________________________________________________
What was your worst parenting mistake ever? I mean your very worst!
Was it that time you served cake for breakfast? (No....I've never done that. Shame on you, girl!)
Or the time you rewarded a public fit by giving in?
Or was it the time you gave a stern punishment, only to find out later that no wrong was committed--you just hadn't listened well enough?
Was it the time you became seriously unglued over spilled milk, acting so despicably even your husband was quieted and traumatized? (Um, yeah. I'm ashamed to say this has happened here.)
I'm not a fly on your wall, thank goodness, but I could probably guess your worst parenting mistake.
It's the same as mine.
Not enough grace or mercy.
How many times have you lost your temper, only to have your children turn around and extend the sweetest, tear-jerking grace toward you? Have you ever known them to hold a grudge over one of Mommy's sins? Has your children's approval of you ever been based on your performance?
Now, let's turn the tables. We love our children unconditionally, sure. But is that what gets expressed? Or are we forever getting annoyed at their shortcomings? Pajamas left on the floor everyday, despite a chore list? Mud tracked in way too often, despite reminders and safeguards? School stuff not put away...again? Toothpaste everywhere and the cap left off....again?
Nag, nag, nag. Drippy faucet parenting. We're good at that, aren't we?
How does our Lord parent us? Does he lack patience, gentleness, self-control? Is his love based on our performance? When we commit the same wrongs over and over, does he berate us and make us feel small--like failures?
We all know the answer.
So right now, let's make sticky notes and put them in the bathroom and kitchen, reminding us that our approval of our children can't be based on their performance. They, like us, are works in progress, destined to fail often.
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. (Psalms 103:8-14 KJV)
Monday, October 18, 2010
giving thanks in the mundane--practically speaking
I loved The Love With Which We Perform, by Simple Mom author, Tsh Oxenreider. My favorite take-away quote is this:
"From God’s perspective, there is no difference between twilight hours of Scripture reading and running our daughter to ballet class with a happy heart. Our moments of paying bills on time and sweeping the floor under the highchair are as glorious as kneeling before His throne, hands upward in praise."
Her entire post is a gem, even for those who already understand the importance of giving glory to God in our daily work.
"From God’s perspective, there is no difference between twilight hours of Scripture reading and running our daughter to ballet class with a happy heart. Our moments of paying bills on time and sweeping the floor under the highchair are as glorious as kneeling before His throne, hands upward in praise."
Her entire post is a gem, even for those who already understand the importance of giving glory to God in our daily work.
I shamefully recall saying more than once this week, "Can't one meal be peaceful, God?" And, "Can we go one night without a soaked bathroom floor?! Just one night?!"
It's all well and good to read an inspiring post about praising our Lord through mundane tasks, but practically speaking, how does an overworked mother do that each day? If your husband arrives home every night at 5:30 p.m., maybe it's possible, but some of us parent alone 24/7, for whatever reason. Is there hope for us?
Yes, there is! Here are some practical tips:
1. Give thanks; make gratitude lists (Ann Voskamp wrote this post on having children list their blessings along with you.)
2. Pull your children close for a snuggle when you feel a complaint arising in your heart. Your children are your life's greatest work. Their hugs will give you strength to keep your focus heavenward, and your behavior exemplary.
3. Try not to do mundane tasks back to back. Break them up and read a story to your precious ones. When baby naps, read a Psalm or an inspiring blog, rather than spending the whole hour on chores.
4. Make a schedule if possible for your chores. Focus on one problem area at a time. Along with the meals, laundry, and spontaneous messes, you'll only have time for one other chore anyway
5. Don't compare yourself or your skills to others; God doesn't make mistakes and he is just. We deserved death, yet he gave us life abundant.
6. Keep that praise music going! Dance with the children. Pick them up and twirl them, raising your hands together toward your Father, whose perfect love enfolds you.
7. Take five away from the kids. Kneel and pray. Ask for forgiveness and strength. Often, that's all you need to take back the day.
8. Then say you're sorry to the kids, if they heard your complaining spirit. Their forgiveness will warm your heart, helping you move forward with a lighter spirit.
9. Work out some way to escape for at least an hour a week, even if it's just to the grocery store--alone.
10. Finish well. Let love and grace reign in the minutes before bed--for your sake and theirs.
11. Know this: They don't want a perfect mother. They want you. God chose you for them--and he doesn't make mistakes!
5. Don't compare yourself or your skills to others; God doesn't make mistakes and he is just. We deserved death, yet he gave us life abundant.
6. Keep that praise music going! Dance with the children. Pick them up and twirl them, raising your hands together toward your Father, whose perfect love enfolds you.
7. Take five away from the kids. Kneel and pray. Ask for forgiveness and strength. Often, that's all you need to take back the day.
8. Then say you're sorry to the kids, if they heard your complaining spirit. Their forgiveness will warm your heart, helping you move forward with a lighter spirit.
9. Work out some way to escape for at least an hour a week, even if it's just to the grocery store--alone.
10. Finish well. Let love and grace reign in the minutes before bed--for your sake and theirs.
11. Know this: They don't want a perfect mother. They want you. God chose you for them--and he doesn't make mistakes!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
God Meets Us Where We're At
Is your soul stirred by abject poverty, yet you don't know where to begin? Have you done nothing, for fear of doing the wrong thing?
You are not alone!
And there is hope for you. God always takes us right where we're at, moving us forward with love and faithfulness. He doesn't expect you to sell all your possessions and give everything to the poor. Really. And right now, depending on your circumstances, he may not want you to commit to a monthly gift at all.
How we handle our money speaks volumes about our heart, our Christian walk, our usefulness to God. To impact our world's for Christ--even in our own homes--we need to understand Biblical money management.
Where are you right now? What level of self-control do you currently possess? Do you live within your means? Are you carrying a balance on any credit cards? Did you buy more house than you could chew? Or more car? Do you regularly--weekly or monthly--purchase new material goods--things that are wants, not needs? Are you giving ten percent to your local church? Or even five percent? Are you building a savings--five percent of your monthly income, perhaps?
If your answer to some of these is wanting, wherein lies the problem? Are you spending to fill up a void in your life? To deal with stress? To boost your confidence or your image? Is God a companion of yours, truly? Do you sing to him, read His word, pray to him, praise his Holy name? Do you get quiet and really listen to Him? Do you give Him a chance to fill your void?
Have you evaluated your friends, remembering that bad company corrupts good character? Limit your time with materialists. They have nothing to offer you. Materialism is sin. Plain and simple. Do a 180 degree turn away from your sin, starting with the company you keep.
If your spouse is a materialist, pray for your spouse, but still be responsible for lining your own behavior up with Scripture. So your husband overspends. Couldn't you still focus on reducing your grocery bill, your clothing bill, your misc. expenses bill? Focus on what you can do, while praying for your spouse.
Tips for getting out of the starting gate:
1. Keep a giving journal and focus your heart on one or two things at a time. All the while, pray about how God will use you and your family in the area of giving.
2. Copy giving Scriptures down and memorize them.
3. Reduce your spending in two areas and journal about your weekly progress.
4. Identify spending triggers and avoid them. Read a book when you feel the urge to spend. Pray. Take a hike or a walk. Make something in the kitchen or in the craft room. Play a board game with the kids. Read pictures books or a novel to the kids. Write in a journal. Garden. Paint.
5. Make a list of simple giving projects you can implement, such as working to stock local food pantries.
6. Educate yourself about abject poverty.
7. Start a gratitude list in your giving journal.
8. Research the ways you can make a bigger difference, once your finances are healthy. Pray about sharing your research with your husband. He will have noticed your heart change by now, and be intrigued.
9. Find an accountability partner. If you must shop for something, bring her along to keep you on track.
10. Devise a plan for teaching your children about money management. If they have any money, give them one jar for tithing (10%), one for savings (10%), and a third for discretionary spending. Have them memorize giving Scriptures. Teach them about abject poverty.
You can do this! Get out of that starting gate today!
You are not alone!
And there is hope for you. God always takes us right where we're at, moving us forward with love and faithfulness. He doesn't expect you to sell all your possessions and give everything to the poor. Really. And right now, depending on your circumstances, he may not want you to commit to a monthly gift at all.
How we handle our money speaks volumes about our heart, our Christian walk, our usefulness to God. To impact our world's for Christ--even in our own homes--we need to understand Biblical money management.
Where are you right now? What level of self-control do you currently possess? Do you live within your means? Are you carrying a balance on any credit cards? Did you buy more house than you could chew? Or more car? Do you regularly--weekly or monthly--purchase new material goods--things that are wants, not needs? Are you giving ten percent to your local church? Or even five percent? Are you building a savings--five percent of your monthly income, perhaps?
If your answer to some of these is wanting, wherein lies the problem? Are you spending to fill up a void in your life? To deal with stress? To boost your confidence or your image? Is God a companion of yours, truly? Do you sing to him, read His word, pray to him, praise his Holy name? Do you get quiet and really listen to Him? Do you give Him a chance to fill your void?
Have you evaluated your friends, remembering that bad company corrupts good character? Limit your time with materialists. They have nothing to offer you. Materialism is sin. Plain and simple. Do a 180 degree turn away from your sin, starting with the company you keep.
If your spouse is a materialist, pray for your spouse, but still be responsible for lining your own behavior up with Scripture. So your husband overspends. Couldn't you still focus on reducing your grocery bill, your clothing bill, your misc. expenses bill? Focus on what you can do, while praying for your spouse.
Tips for getting out of the starting gate:
1. Keep a giving journal and focus your heart on one or two things at a time. All the while, pray about how God will use you and your family in the area of giving.
2. Copy giving Scriptures down and memorize them.
3. Reduce your spending in two areas and journal about your weekly progress.
4. Identify spending triggers and avoid them. Read a book when you feel the urge to spend. Pray. Take a hike or a walk. Make something in the kitchen or in the craft room. Play a board game with the kids. Read pictures books or a novel to the kids. Write in a journal. Garden. Paint.
5. Make a list of simple giving projects you can implement, such as working to stock local food pantries.
6. Educate yourself about abject poverty.
7. Start a gratitude list in your giving journal.
8. Research the ways you can make a bigger difference, once your finances are healthy. Pray about sharing your research with your husband. He will have noticed your heart change by now, and be intrigued.
9. Find an accountability partner. If you must shop for something, bring her along to keep you on track.
10. Devise a plan for teaching your children about money management. If they have any money, give them one jar for tithing (10%), one for savings (10%), and a third for discretionary spending. Have them memorize giving Scriptures. Teach them about abject poverty.
You can do this! Get out of that starting gate today!
"He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them receives many curses." Proverbs 28:27
"Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it." Luke17:33
Saturday, October 16, 2010
we must decrease
Did you catch Ann's post today? Here is an excerpt that really struck me:
"My last night in Guatemala, Shaun who had guided us through Guatemala with Compassion, had said it across the table to us, and this is what I remember, the Gordian Knot I can’t quite figure out how to slice: “The world, your community.. even your family — they are going to try to push you back to the middle. North America feels pretty comfortable in the middle. Balance, everyone says. I don’t know what Jesus is going to say to you.. How He might direct your life now… just don’t assume He wants you to live in the middle. Be open to the possibility …. Of something radically different.” "
I was also struck by this:
"I’m half-hearted brave through the check-out. We buy two pair of leotards. I have no idea if we should. The girls do need them. It’s October. This is Canada. But thirty one days ago I saw kids who had no shoes, living in a dump in Guatemala. Do we really need leotards? Do I really need a new dress, a sweater for travelling to Relevant next week? Do I really need a haircut? Mascara? Every time I open my wallet, I twist, conflicted."
I could feel Ann's conflict. She is speaking at a blog conference next week and obviously wants to look nice. She is agoraphobic and sometimes fights intense fear when leaving her home. Perhaps a new outfit would boost her confidence. And yet, surely she already has something in her closet that will do just fine?
All of us have a similar inner battle, whether it be clothes, furnishings, our mode of transportation, activities, even certain foods. Do we really need it, considering that some children go days without food in some countries?
Usually the answer is a clear no (although I'm glad she got her girls the winter tights).
So, if a clear no, why are so many of us comfortable in the middle?
Partly, it's mob mentality. Everyone is doing it.
To be set apart for Christ, to live radically, to end abject poverty--we have to lower ourselves....As Jesus did when he became flesh....as Jesus did when he washed the disciples' feet....As Jesus did when he was beaten, taunted, tortured....for us.
We have to live humbly. Live below the mob. Let the mob whisper about us. Wear the older outfit and risk looking as though we belong to the lower class. Drive the older car. Buy the cheaper meat. Buy the cheaper mascara...the cheaper haircut.
We have to decrease, so He can increase.
Ann is right. "God gives the world enough of what it needs. He just doesn't distribute it."
Dear Lord, I thank you for your generous gifts. And I pray for North America--for those of us in the middle. Help us to live radically, bravely, sacrificially. Help us to be humble distributors of your wealth--knowing that we deserve none of it, own none of it. May we live knowing that our value comes from you, and not from our lifestyle. May we be set apart for your purposes. In your name I pray, Amen.
"My last night in Guatemala, Shaun who had guided us through Guatemala with Compassion, had said it across the table to us, and this is what I remember, the Gordian Knot I can’t quite figure out how to slice: “The world, your community.. even your family — they are going to try to push you back to the middle. North America feels pretty comfortable in the middle. Balance, everyone says. I don’t know what Jesus is going to say to you.. How He might direct your life now… just don’t assume He wants you to live in the middle. Be open to the possibility …. Of something radically different.” "
I was also struck by this:
"I’m half-hearted brave through the check-out. We buy two pair of leotards. I have no idea if we should. The girls do need them. It’s October. This is Canada. But thirty one days ago I saw kids who had no shoes, living in a dump in Guatemala. Do we really need leotards? Do I really need a new dress, a sweater for travelling to Relevant next week? Do I really need a haircut? Mascara? Every time I open my wallet, I twist, conflicted."
I could feel Ann's conflict. She is speaking at a blog conference next week and obviously wants to look nice. She is agoraphobic and sometimes fights intense fear when leaving her home. Perhaps a new outfit would boost her confidence. And yet, surely she already has something in her closet that will do just fine?
All of us have a similar inner battle, whether it be clothes, furnishings, our mode of transportation, activities, even certain foods. Do we really need it, considering that some children go days without food in some countries?
Usually the answer is a clear no (although I'm glad she got her girls the winter tights).
So, if a clear no, why are so many of us comfortable in the middle?
Partly, it's mob mentality. Everyone is doing it.
To be set apart for Christ, to live radically, to end abject poverty--we have to lower ourselves....As Jesus did when he became flesh....as Jesus did when he washed the disciples' feet....As Jesus did when he was beaten, taunted, tortured....for us.
We have to live humbly. Live below the mob. Let the mob whisper about us. Wear the older outfit and risk looking as though we belong to the lower class. Drive the older car. Buy the cheaper meat. Buy the cheaper mascara...the cheaper haircut.
We have to decrease, so He can increase.
Ann is right. "God gives the world enough of what it needs. He just doesn't distribute it."
Dear Lord, I thank you for your generous gifts. And I pray for North America--for those of us in the middle. Help us to live radically, bravely, sacrificially. Help us to be humble distributors of your wealth--knowing that we deserve none of it, own none of it. May we live knowing that our value comes from you, and not from our lifestyle. May we be set apart for your purposes. In your name I pray, Amen.
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