I came across this post about a three-year-old who died five hours after a heavy dresser crushed his head into the concrete floor. Oh, please pray! This happened on December 12th, and the mother continually goes over in her mind how she could have done things differently that night. Prayers will help restore peace in her heart.
The father, in deciding whether to buy the dresser, stood on it and other things to make sure it was sturdy enough to withstand a toddler's abuse. They had put their TV on it because it was the sturdiest piece of furniture they owned.
Furniture can be so dangerous!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
self-pity, a grave sin
Sometimes, when I proclaim my happiness to my housemates, they say, "But you don't seem that happy."
Ouch.
How it grieves me to hear that! I know my heart. I am a fulfilled woman.
So why doesn't my happiness convey?
Because in the course of a day I become irritated by all that is demanded of me--the constant messes, the dishes, the laundry, the discipline and training of imperfect children. I may have joy at my core, but outwardly my circumstances get the best of me, to my shame.
What I most want is to be the face of Jesus in the lives of these children, this husband.
But how?
I think I've found my answer, again--I've found it before and lost it!--in My Utmost For His Highest, a devotional by Oswald Chambers.
As soon as I let self-pity out of the box, I cannot be the face of Christ, even for a moment. He has paved the way for me to partake of his divine nature. All of the Almighty God is mine in the Lord Jesus!
Self-pity is my enemy. Raising young children is a life of physical service. There's no question that it's exhausting, but as time passes their emotional needs will far exceed their physical ones, and I'll no longer feel like Cinderella.
In the meantime, I need to recognize God's provision for me, letting his divine nature flow through me, as I wipe up oatmeal and peach juice off the floor, glue and peanut butter and jelly off the table, while kissing boo boos, changing diapers, feeding bellies, teaching, and maintaining the steady hum of the washer and dryer and dishwasher.
I need not sink into self-pity by 10:00 a.m., because God has provided for me!
Ouch.
How it grieves me to hear that! I know my heart. I am a fulfilled woman.
So why doesn't my happiness convey?
Because in the course of a day I become irritated by all that is demanded of me--the constant messes, the dishes, the laundry, the discipline and training of imperfect children. I may have joy at my core, but outwardly my circumstances get the best of me, to my shame.
What I most want is to be the face of Jesus in the lives of these children, this husband.
But how?
I think I've found my answer, again--I've found it before and lost it!--in My Utmost For His Highest, a devotional by Oswald Chambers.
"....you may be partakers of the divine nature" (2 Peter1:4)
May 18 entry, text as follows:
We are made "partakers of the divine nature," receiving and sharing God's own nature through His promises. Then we have to work that divine nature into our human nature by developing godly habits. The first habit to develop is the habit of recognizing God's provision for us. We say, however, "Oh, I can't afford it." One of the worst lies is wrapped up in that statement. We talk as if our heavenly Father has cut us off without a penny! We think it is a sign of our true humility to say at the end of the day, "Well, I just barely got by today, but it was a severe struggle." And yet all of Almighty God is ours in the Lord Jesus! And He will reach to the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us if we will only obey Him. Does it really matter that our circumstances are difficult? Why shouldn't they be! If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God's riches from our lives and hinder others from entering into His provision. No sin is worse than self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests. It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges--always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives. (bold text my emphasis)
Before God becomes satisfied with us, He will take everything of our so-called wealth, until we learn that He is our Source; as the psalmist said, "All my springs are in You" (Psalm 87:7) If the majesty, grace, and power of God are not being exhibited in us, God holds us responsible. "God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you......may have an abundance..." (2 Corinthians 9:8)--then learn to lavish the grace of God on others, generously giving of yourself. Be marked and identified with God's nature, and His blessing will flow through you all the time.
As soon as I let self-pity out of the box, I cannot be the face of Christ, even for a moment. He has paved the way for me to partake of his divine nature. All of the Almighty God is mine in the Lord Jesus!
Self-pity is my enemy. Raising young children is a life of physical service. There's no question that it's exhausting, but as time passes their emotional needs will far exceed their physical ones, and I'll no longer feel like Cinderella.
In the meantime, I need to recognize God's provision for me, letting his divine nature flow through me, as I wipe up oatmeal and peach juice off the floor, glue and peanut butter and jelly off the table, while kissing boo boos, changing diapers, feeding bellies, teaching, and maintaining the steady hum of the washer and dryer and dishwasher.
I need not sink into self-pity by 10:00 a.m., because God has provided for me!
Friday, January 14, 2011
update from last night's "deep thanks" post
I was undone yesterday reading that Ann Voskamp's newborn niece might have meningitis. This morning I put the water on for our oatmeal, then read this encouraging report from Ann's Friday post:
Praise God! Such a relief!
When I was twenty-one weeks pregnant with Peter I was told during a routine ultrasound that he had hydrocephalus and swollen kidneys. I drove home in a tearful daze, wondering if there was a God at all, for less than a year earlier I had lost a precious son at 21 weeks gestation (from unknown causes).
Delivering the news, the doctor on duty said to me, "You were brave enough to get pregnant at 35, so now you can use that same strength to deal with this." (Yikes! Age 35? Since when is that ancient? I wish I could go back and tell that guy about the babies (Mary and Beth) I had at age 40 and 42!)
I was still working as a teacher at the time of this ill-fated ultrasound, though I had switched to a charter school catering to homeschoolers. So many people prayed for us and for our precious Peter! Three days later we saw a specialist, who said there was no hydrocephalus at all! Peter still had the swollen kidneys (hydronephrosis) up until birth, but there was no evidence of it following his birth.
I really believe in the power of prayer! God doesn't always say yes, but when he does, we need not assume it was just a coincidence.
May we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers for my niece? While she’s still being treated with antibiotics and is in the critical care unit, the doctors have ruled out meningitis (He hears and answers your humble prayers! Thank you, Lord!) Her oxygen levels are the current concern but we are all so hopeful. Yesterday was encouraging — your prayers, His goodness, give courage. Today, to gather up her sisters, the cousins, from my Mama’s to come for a day at the farm! We’ll just keep making love lists…
Praise God! Such a relief!
When I was twenty-one weeks pregnant with Peter I was told during a routine ultrasound that he had hydrocephalus and swollen kidneys. I drove home in a tearful daze, wondering if there was a God at all, for less than a year earlier I had lost a precious son at 21 weeks gestation (from unknown causes).
Delivering the news, the doctor on duty said to me, "You were brave enough to get pregnant at 35, so now you can use that same strength to deal with this." (Yikes! Age 35? Since when is that ancient? I wish I could go back and tell that guy about the babies (Mary and Beth) I had at age 40 and 42!)
I was still working as a teacher at the time of this ill-fated ultrasound, though I had switched to a charter school catering to homeschoolers. So many people prayed for us and for our precious Peter! Three days later we saw a specialist, who said there was no hydrocephalus at all! Peter still had the swollen kidneys (hydronephrosis) up until birth, but there was no evidence of it following his birth.
I really believe in the power of prayer! God doesn't always say yes, but when he does, we need not assume it was just a coincidence.
deep thanks
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Tonight, I am thankful for.....
- physically healthy children
- for the comment below found after this post, and Ann's Thursday post, all reminding me that having healthy children is not my right. I need to give thanks every day that my precious ones are lively, loud and alive.
- the dreamy act of watching my baby (okay, my 25-month-old) sleep. She is so beautiful to me.
- my husband's warm arms, his kiss hello
- Magic School Bus Chapter Books for nine-year-old Peter.
- a better night for my Peter.
- frequent hugs from Mary
- laughing at Mary in the bath tonight. As I washed her hair I told her she was beautiful. She responded, "Nonsense! You're beautiful." As much as I want her to receive my praise (we'll work on that), I found it so funny hearing her say the word "nonsense" in that bossy tone. It's not a word used frequently around here. Funny what things they pick up!
- deep finger marks in the pumpkin pie cooling on the stove (that would be Mary). She came into Beth's room as I was nursing Beth to sleep: "I leally want some of that pie!" (She doesn't form "r" correctly yet.) I asked her to wait until I was done in Beth's room. As she left the room I said to myself, She's going to go dig her fingers into that pie. I walked into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, noting the three lines of finger marks in the center of the pie! Now, why did that make me smile so? Because as I growold older, I will always remember my Mary putting her fingers into every pie and cake.
- that one of seven-year-old Paul's missions is to cuddle with you in a way that leaves the littlest room possible between you and him
- sister hugs six times a day
- craft books from the library and the crafty mess they instigate in my dining room
- Jack Black, the hamster, for continuing to delight our family with his gentle ways. He is evidence of God's grace toward Peter. Each time Peter plays with Jack, I hear "Isn't he just the nicest pet, Mommy?"
- the pleasure of knowing these wonderful children a little better every day.
- snow-capped evergreens, soothing my soul, reminding me of His creation and love and grace
- lots of snow once again, though I may be the only one here appreciating it (children are beginning to dread all the bundling required to play outside. They keep talking about spring and summer.)
- my kids dancing up a storm to Christian CD's (They still love it, Sandi!)
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Tonight, I am thankful for.....
- physically healthy children
- for the comment below found after this post, and Ann's Thursday post, all reminding me that having healthy children is not my right. I need to give thanks every day that my precious ones are lively, loud and alive.
this grieving mother's blog link here: Team Ewan
- the dreamy act of watching my baby (okay, my 25-month-old) sleep. She is so beautiful to me.
- my husband's warm arms, his kiss hello
- Magic School Bus Chapter Books for nine-year-old Peter.
- a better night for my Peter.
- frequent hugs from Mary
- laughing at Mary in the bath tonight. As I washed her hair I told her she was beautiful. She responded, "Nonsense! You're beautiful." As much as I want her to receive my praise (we'll work on that), I found it so funny hearing her say the word "nonsense" in that bossy tone. It's not a word used frequently around here. Funny what things they pick up!
- deep finger marks in the pumpkin pie cooling on the stove (that would be Mary). She came into Beth's room as I was nursing Beth to sleep: "I leally want some of that pie!" (She doesn't form "r" correctly yet.) I asked her to wait until I was done in Beth's room. As she left the room I said to myself, She's going to go dig her fingers into that pie. I walked into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, noting the three lines of finger marks in the center of the pie! Now, why did that make me smile so? Because as I grow
- that one of seven-year-old Paul's missions is to cuddle with you in a way that leaves the littlest room possible between you and him
- sister hugs six times a day
- craft books from the library and the crafty mess they instigate in my dining room
- Jack Black, the hamster, for continuing to delight our family with his gentle ways. He is evidence of God's grace toward Peter. Each time Peter plays with Jack, I hear "Isn't he just the nicest pet, Mommy?"
- the pleasure of knowing these wonderful children a little better every day.
- snow-capped evergreens, soothing my soul, reminding me of His creation and love and grace
- lots of snow once again, though I may be the only one here appreciating it (children are beginning to dread all the bundling required to play outside. They keep talking about spring and summer.)
- my kids dancing up a storm to Christian CD's (They still love it, Sandi!)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Jesus Storybook Bible - a review
Excerpt from the Jesus Storybook Bible, by Sally Lloyd-Jones (forgive me for the length--it's good stuff!)
As soon as the snake saw his chance, he slithered silently up to Eve. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered. "If he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, juicy, delicious fruit? Poor you, perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy."
The snake's words hissed into her ears and sunk down deep into her heart, like poison. Does God love me? Eve wondered. Suddenly she didn't know anymore.
"Just trust me." the serpent whispered. "You don't need God. One small taste, that's all, and you'll be happier than you could ever dream..."
Eve picked the fruit and ate some. And Adam ate some, too.
And a terrible lie came into the world. It would never leave. It would live on in every human heart, whispering to every one of God's children, "God doesn't love me."
And it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.
A dove flew from Adam's hand. A deer darted in a thicket. It was as if they were frightened by something. A chill was in the air. Something strange was happening. They had always been naked--but now they felt naked, and wrong, and they didn't want anyone to see them. So they hid.
Later that evening, as God was taking his walk, he called to them, "Children?"
Usually Adam and Even loved to hear God's voice and would run to him. But this time, they ran away from him and hid in the shadows.
"Where are you?" God called.
"Hiding," Adam said. "We're afraid of you."
"Did you eat the fruit I told you not to eat?" God asked them.
Adam said, "Eve made me do it!"
And terrible pain came into God's heart. His children hadn't just broken the one rule; they had broken God's heart. They had broken their wonderful relationship with him. And now he knew everything else would break. God's creation would start to unravel, and come undone, and go wrong. From now on everything would die--even though it was all supposed to last forever.
You see, sin had come into God's perfect world. And it would never leave. God's children would be always running away from him and hiding in the dark. Their hearts would break now, and never work properly again.
God couldn't let his children live forever, not in such pain, not without him. There was only one way to protect them.
"You will have to leave the garden now," God told his children, his eyes filling with tears. "This is no longer your true home, it's not the place for you anymore."
But before they left the garden, God made clothes for his children, to cover them. He gently clothed them and then he sent them away on a long, long journey--out of the garden, out of their home.
Well, in another story, it would all be over and that would have been.......The End.
But not in this Story.
God loved his children too much to let the story end there. Even though he knew he would suffer, God had a plan--a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his children back. One day, he would make the world their perfect home again. And one day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes.
You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children--with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.
And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God's children would miss him always, and long for him--lost children yearning for their home.
Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: "It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I'm going to do battle against the snake. I'll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I'm coming back for you!"
And he would. One day, God himself would come.
We bought the Jesus Storybook Bible for our daughter Mary, age 4, for Christmas. As you can see from this rather long excerpt, it is powerful. Every story does indeed "whisper his name", as advertised on the back cover. The coming of Jesus is mentioned in some form at the end of each story, such as in the ending to this tower of Babel story:
You see, God knew, however high they reached, however hard they tried, people could never get back to heaven by themselves. People didn't need a staircase; they needed a Rescuer. Because the way back to heaven wasn't a staircase; it was a Person.
People could never reach up to Heaven, so Heaven would have to come down to them.
And, one day, it would.
This book is advertised for ages 4-7, but both my husband and me feel this age range is too low. Our four year old can't really understand the deep meanings contained in these stories. Over time, of course, she will, and I'm very glad I bought this book! I think kids 6 and up will get the most out of these stories, written in this form.
My husband doesn't care for the melodramatic prose. He thinks it makes the Bible harder to understand, rather than easier. I think it's always better to go straight to the Bible, but having other things around the house for devotionals is a good idea, to spice things up, if you will. This particular storybook bible is unique in trying to highlight the great hope of the whole Bible--Jesus. It's definitely worth reading to your kids. I'm enjoying it myself, actually, and I'm way over the age range!
Paul (age 7) and I both cried at this version of the fall of man. Actually, I guess we cry at every version we read, but this one in particular really gripped our hearts. I wanted so much to comfort my son, but I was so overcome myself, I couldn't come up with comforting words, until much later. The story of the fall is so heavy, so wrought with tragedy, it's hard not to feel a sense of devastation each time I read it.
Paul is a very bright boy and he really feels this story. Keenly. He said to me, through his tears, "How could God allow Satan to do that!?" I think somehow he understands it--the magnitude of it--better than my older son, who just turned nine.
Thankfully, the stories are hopeful. They do whisper His name. Paul has started taking this book and reading it on his own. He is hungry for that hope, especially after that first night of tears.
I hope this text brings us some help, some comfort, in regards to the suffering experienced on earth. Peter asks me often now, "Why did Jesus make me this way?!" His OCD has become just awful at night time. He fears there's a bomb in his closet (along with a host of other irrational fears) and starts dreading the nighttime as early as 5 p.m. He gets thoughts that I'm going to harm him (detonate the bomb in his closet, for example), but I'm the one he also must have for comfort, to finally get to sleep.
OCD people are not delusional or psychotic. They understand completely that their brains are playing tricks, but they still have to do the compulsions for comfort (i.e. washing their hands for contamination fears, checking doors for burglar fears, checking that the stove is off, etc.) Peter is mainly battling the nighttime fears right now.
Each night drains me beyond belief. I no longer assume Peter will lead a normal life. He has so much to deal with, and my telling him that Jesus has special plans for his life--special plans to use Peter to touch others and bring glory to God--doesn't bring as much comfort now. Specific obsessions and compulsions come and go, I know. We're praying that these specific nighttime fears subside quickly.
Anyhow, in relation to the Jesus Storybook Bible, I'm hoping that Peter will learn to take comfort in the Great Hope of the Bible--Jesus, and the promised return to Paradise.
We suffer here on earth greatly, but time is fleeting. Heaven is near. Only God understands how fleeting. That's why, I believe, he can stand to let us suffer at all.
Psalm 39:4-5
O Lord, help me understand my mortality
and the brevity of life!
Let me realize how quickly my life will pass!
Look, you make my days short-lived,
and my life span is nothing from your perspective.
Surely all people, even those who seem secure, are nothing but vapor.
As soon as the snake saw his chance, he slithered silently up to Eve. "Does God really love you?" the serpent whispered. "If he does, why won't he let you eat the nice, juicy, delicious fruit? Poor you, perhaps God doesn't want you to be happy."
The snake's words hissed into her ears and sunk down deep into her heart, like poison. Does God love me? Eve wondered. Suddenly she didn't know anymore.
"Just trust me." the serpent whispered. "You don't need God. One small taste, that's all, and you'll be happier than you could ever dream..."
Eve picked the fruit and ate some. And Adam ate some, too.
And a terrible lie came into the world. It would never leave. It would live on in every human heart, whispering to every one of God's children, "God doesn't love me."
And it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.
A dove flew from Adam's hand. A deer darted in a thicket. It was as if they were frightened by something. A chill was in the air. Something strange was happening. They had always been naked--but now they felt naked, and wrong, and they didn't want anyone to see them. So they hid.
Later that evening, as God was taking his walk, he called to them, "Children?"
Usually Adam and Even loved to hear God's voice and would run to him. But this time, they ran away from him and hid in the shadows.
"Where are you?" God called.
"Hiding," Adam said. "We're afraid of you."
"Did you eat the fruit I told you not to eat?" God asked them.
Adam said, "Eve made me do it!"
And terrible pain came into God's heart. His children hadn't just broken the one rule; they had broken God's heart. They had broken their wonderful relationship with him. And now he knew everything else would break. God's creation would start to unravel, and come undone, and go wrong. From now on everything would die--even though it was all supposed to last forever.
You see, sin had come into God's perfect world. And it would never leave. God's children would be always running away from him and hiding in the dark. Their hearts would break now, and never work properly again.
God couldn't let his children live forever, not in such pain, not without him. There was only one way to protect them.
"You will have to leave the garden now," God told his children, his eyes filling with tears. "This is no longer your true home, it's not the place for you anymore."
But before they left the garden, God made clothes for his children, to cover them. He gently clothed them and then he sent them away on a long, long journey--out of the garden, out of their home.
Well, in another story, it would all be over and that would have been.......The End.
But not in this Story.
God loved his children too much to let the story end there. Even though he knew he would suffer, God had a plan--a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his children back. One day, he would make the world their perfect home again. And one day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes.
You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children--with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.
And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God's children would miss him always, and long for him--lost children yearning for their home.
Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: "It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I'm going to do battle against the snake. I'll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I'm coming back for you!"
And he would. One day, God himself would come.
We bought the Jesus Storybook Bible for our daughter Mary, age 4, for Christmas. As you can see from this rather long excerpt, it is powerful. Every story does indeed "whisper his name", as advertised on the back cover. The coming of Jesus is mentioned in some form at the end of each story, such as in the ending to this tower of Babel story:
You see, God knew, however high they reached, however hard they tried, people could never get back to heaven by themselves. People didn't need a staircase; they needed a Rescuer. Because the way back to heaven wasn't a staircase; it was a Person.
People could never reach up to Heaven, so Heaven would have to come down to them.
And, one day, it would.
This book is advertised for ages 4-7, but both my husband and me feel this age range is too low. Our four year old can't really understand the deep meanings contained in these stories. Over time, of course, she will, and I'm very glad I bought this book! I think kids 6 and up will get the most out of these stories, written in this form.
My husband doesn't care for the melodramatic prose. He thinks it makes the Bible harder to understand, rather than easier. I think it's always better to go straight to the Bible, but having other things around the house for devotionals is a good idea, to spice things up, if you will. This particular storybook bible is unique in trying to highlight the great hope of the whole Bible--Jesus. It's definitely worth reading to your kids. I'm enjoying it myself, actually, and I'm way over the age range!
Paul (age 7) and I both cried at this version of the fall of man. Actually, I guess we cry at every version we read, but this one in particular really gripped our hearts. I wanted so much to comfort my son, but I was so overcome myself, I couldn't come up with comforting words, until much later. The story of the fall is so heavy, so wrought with tragedy, it's hard not to feel a sense of devastation each time I read it.
Paul is a very bright boy and he really feels this story. Keenly. He said to me, through his tears, "How could God allow Satan to do that!?" I think somehow he understands it--the magnitude of it--better than my older son, who just turned nine.
Thankfully, the stories are hopeful. They do whisper His name. Paul has started taking this book and reading it on his own. He is hungry for that hope, especially after that first night of tears.
I hope this text brings us some help, some comfort, in regards to the suffering experienced on earth. Peter asks me often now, "Why did Jesus make me this way?!" His OCD has become just awful at night time. He fears there's a bomb in his closet (along with a host of other irrational fears) and starts dreading the nighttime as early as 5 p.m. He gets thoughts that I'm going to harm him (detonate the bomb in his closet, for example), but I'm the one he also must have for comfort, to finally get to sleep.
OCD people are not delusional or psychotic. They understand completely that their brains are playing tricks, but they still have to do the compulsions for comfort (i.e. washing their hands for contamination fears, checking doors for burglar fears, checking that the stove is off, etc.) Peter is mainly battling the nighttime fears right now.
Each night drains me beyond belief. I no longer assume Peter will lead a normal life. He has so much to deal with, and my telling him that Jesus has special plans for his life--special plans to use Peter to touch others and bring glory to God--doesn't bring as much comfort now. Specific obsessions and compulsions come and go, I know. We're praying that these specific nighttime fears subside quickly.
Anyhow, in relation to the Jesus Storybook Bible, I'm hoping that Peter will learn to take comfort in the Great Hope of the Bible--Jesus, and the promised return to Paradise.
We suffer here on earth greatly, but time is fleeting. Heaven is near. Only God understands how fleeting. That's why, I believe, he can stand to let us suffer at all.
Psalm 39:4-5
O Lord, help me understand my mortality
and the brevity of life!
Let me realize how quickly my life will pass!
Look, you make my days short-lived,
and my life span is nothing from your perspective.
Surely all people, even those who seem secure, are nothing but vapor.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)