Paul's writings (grade 1)

One day there was a boy who liked football.  His fovart taem was Arkansas.  He liked to cheer and he watched it and learned more and more.

The End

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A Poem

Our hamster is so funny
He's better than a bunny
For good sakes his name is Jack the Black!
He is so gentel
Better than a mule
He's not such an eater
he doesn't drink that much
But he's still the perfit pet

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One day there was a butterfly and a ladybug.  The butterfly was blue and red.  The ladybug was black and yellow.  They liked kickball and soccer.  They got some friends to play with.  There names were Fastfly and Big-bug and Go-bug and Go-fly.  The butter-flys team won.

a tragedy needing prayer

I came across this post about a three-year-old who died five hours after a heavy dresser crushed his head into the concrete floor. Oh, please pray!  This happened on December 12th, and the mother continually goes over in her mind how she could have done things differently that night. Prayers will help restore peace in her heart.

The father, in deciding whether to buy the dresser, stood on it and other things to make sure it was sturdy enough to withstand a toddler's abuse. They had put their TV on it because it was the sturdiest piece of furniture they owned.

Furniture can be so dangerous!

self-pity, a grave sin

Sometimes, when I proclaim my happiness to my housemates, they say, "But you don't seem that happy."

Ouch.

How it grieves me to hear that!  I know my heart.  I am a fulfilled woman.

So why doesn't my happiness convey?

Because in the course of a day I become irritated by all that is demanded of me--the constant messes, the dishes, the laundry, the discipline and training of imperfect children.  I may have joy at my core, but outwardly my circumstances get the best of me, to my shame.

What I most want is to be the face of Jesus in the lives of these children, this husband.

But how?

I think I've found my answer, again--I've found it before and lost it!--in My Utmost For His Highest, a devotional by Oswald Chambers.

"....you may be partakers of the divine nature" (2 Peter1:4)

 May 18 entry, text as follows:

We are made "partakers of the divine nature," receiving and sharing God's own nature through His promises.  Then we have to work that divine nature into our human nature by developing godly habits.  The first habit to develop is the habit of recognizing God's provision for us.  We say, however, "Oh, I can't afford it."  One of the worst lies is wrapped up in that statement.  We talk as if our heavenly Father has cut us off without a penny!  We think it is a sign of our true humility to say at the end of the day, "Well, I just barely got by today, but it was a severe struggle."  And yet all of Almighty God is ours in the Lord Jesus!  And He will reach to the last grain of sand and the remotest star to bless us if we will only obey Him.  Does it really matter that our circumstances are difficult?  Why shouldn't they be!  If we give way to self-pity and indulge in the luxury of misery, we remove God's riches from our lives and hinder others from entering into His provision.  No sin is worse than self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests.  It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges--always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied.  And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives. (bold text my emphasis)

Before God becomes satisfied with us, He will take everything of our so-called wealth, until we learn that He is our Source; as the psalmist said, "All my springs are in You" (Psalm 87:7)  If the majesty, grace, and power of God are not being exhibited in us, God holds us responsible.  "God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you......may have an abundance..." (2 Corinthians 9:8)--then learn to lavish the grace of God on others, generously giving of yourself.  Be marked and identified with God's nature, and His blessing will flow through you all the time.

As soon as I let self-pity out of the box, I cannot be the face of Christ, even for a moment.  He has paved the way for me to partake of his divine nature.  All of the Almighty God is mine in the Lord Jesus!

Self-pity is my enemy.  Raising young children is a life of physical service.  There's no question that it's exhausting, but as time passes their emotional needs will far exceed their physical ones, and I'll no longer feel like Cinderella.

In the meantime, I need to recognize God's provision for me, letting his divine nature flow through me, as I wipe up oatmeal and peach juice off the floor, glue and peanut butter and jelly off the table, while kissing boo boos, changing diapers, feeding bellies, teaching, and maintaining the steady hum of the washer and dryer and dishwasher.

I need not sink into self-pity by 10:00 a.m., because God has provided for me!

update from last night's "deep thanks" post

I was undone yesterday reading that Ann Voskamp's newborn niece might have meningitis.  This morning I put the water on for our oatmeal, then read this encouraging report from Ann's Friday post:

May we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your prayers for my niece? While she’s still being treated with antibiotics and is in the critical care unit, the doctors have ruled out meningitis (He hears and answers your humble prayers! Thank you, Lord!) Her oxygen levels are the current concern but we are all so hopeful. Yesterday was encouraging — your prayers, His goodness, give courage. Today, to gather up her sisters, the cousins, from my Mama’s to come for a day at the farm! We’ll just keep making love lists…

Praise God!  Such a relief!


When I was twenty-one weeks pregnant with Peter I was told during a routine ultrasound that he had hydrocephalus and swollen kidneys.  I drove home in a tearful daze, wondering if there was a God at all, for less than a year earlier I had lost a precious son at 21 weeks gestation (from unknown causes).  


Delivering the news, the doctor on duty said to me, "You were brave enough to get pregnant at 35, so now you can use that same strength to deal with this."  (Yikes!  Age 35?  Since when is that ancient?  I wish I could go back and tell that guy about the babies (Mary and Beth) I had at age 40 and 42!)

I was still working as a teacher at the time of this ill-fated ultrasound, though I had switched to a charter school catering to homeschoolers. So many people prayed for us and for our precious Peter!  Three days later we saw a specialist,  who said there was no hydrocephalus at all!  Peter still had the swollen kidneys (hydronephrosis) up until birth, but there was no evidence of it following his birth.

I really believe in the power of prayer!  God doesn't always say yes, but when he does, we need not assume it was just a coincidence.

deep thanks

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.


Tonight, I am thankful for.....


- physically healthy children


- for the comment below found after this post, and Ann's Thursday post, all reminding me that having healthy children is not my right.  I need to give thanks every day that my precious ones are lively, loud and alive.

I’ve been plumbing the depths of these and other questions since my infant son (our first child) died at 16 days old in early October. Reconciling the apparent discrepancy between our deep human pain and God’s goodness is a philosophical-theological question, and even if we receive an answer that satisfies the intellect as true, the heartache remains. It’s not so much that the answer doesn’t help at all — it does ease the mind that believes — but I came to see that what I really wanted was not the answer to the question so much as for Him to ease my heartache, to unbreak the world a little just for me, in short: to give me my son back.

In other words, I wanted Him to make an exception even though I couldn’t think of a single good reason why I should be spared what so many others suffer.

Gulp.

Even though He promises suffering over and over, I continue to be surprised at it when it comes and ask “Why, God? Why?”

Brokenness is painful and perplexing, and it is so redemptive — I’ve seen Ewan’s life and death purify not only my own soul, but so many others as well. This terrible ache acquaints me deeply with myself, and ever so much more deeply with the One who loved us enough that He spared Himself none of our pain.

Even with all the good I’ve seen come from it, my heart still aches and asks the questions. And so now I find myself trying to make peace with the mystery.

this grieving mother's blog link here:  Team Ewan

- the dreamy act of watching my baby (okay, my 25-month-old) sleep.  She is so beautiful to me.

- my husband's warm arms, his kiss hello

- Magic School Bus Chapter Books for nine-year-old Peter.

- a better night for my Peter.

- frequent hugs from Mary

- laughing at Mary in the bath tonight.  As I washed her hair I told her she was beautiful.  She responded, "Nonsense!  You're beautiful."  As much as I want her to receive my praise (we'll work on that), I found it so funny hearing her say the word "nonsense" in that bossy tone.  It's not a word used frequently around here.  Funny what things they pick up!

- deep finger marks in the pumpkin pie cooling on the stove (that would be Mary).  She came into Beth's room as I was nursing Beth to sleep:  "I leally want some of that pie!" (She doesn't form "r" correctly yet.)  I asked her to wait until I was done in Beth's room.  As she left the room I said to myself,  She's going to go dig her fingers into that pie.  I walked into the kitchen fifteen minutes later, noting the three lines of finger marks in the center of the pie!  Now, why did that make me smile so?  Because as I grow old older, I will always remember my Mary putting her fingers into every pie and cake.

- that one of seven-year-old Paul's missions is to cuddle with you in a way that leaves the littlest room possible between you and him

- sister hugs six times a day

- craft books from the library and the crafty mess they instigate in my dining room

- Jack Black, the hamster, for continuing to delight our family with his gentle ways.  He is evidence of God's grace toward Peter.  Each time Peter plays with Jack, I hear  "Isn't he just the nicest pet, Mommy?"

- the pleasure of knowing these wonderful children a little better every day.

- snow-capped evergreens, soothing my soul, reminding me of His creation and love and grace

- lots of snow once again, though I may be the only one here appreciating it (children are beginning to dread all the bundling required to play outside.  They keep talking about spring and summer.)

- my kids dancing up a storm to Christian CD's (They still love it, Sandi!)