Wednesday Blessings

Psalm 136:2-3
Give thanks to the God of gods. His faithful love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords. His faithful love endures forever.

Giving thanks for...

...Peter and Paul memorizing the Old Testament books together. And laughing through it.

...only two arthritic joints in my Beth. The naproxen seems to have no affect on her arthritis. Unless God intervenes soon, more aggressive drugs are on the horizon. Trying to hope and knowing I need to give thanks anyway. My Savior's time on the cross? It's enough. When Jesus uttered It is finished and gave up His spirit, the curtain tore in the Holy of Holies and our Father became accessible to me, to you. That is always enough. He is enough.


...brothers playing Chess and Uno on rainy days.

...Miss Beth racing her bike through the house on rainy days (part of her therapy).

...a long-awaited snow flurry, though it's still too warm to stick. Those making a living snowplowing will have a lean Christmas. December predictions aren't promising. Husband is ecstatic at this weather news, though sorry for the snowplowers.

...a sign in the neighborhood reading real estate auction coming soon. I first saw it coming back from Beth's therapy appointment. I gave thanks it wasn't our house but shed tears for the evicted. Why make the sign part of a blessing list?  It's a reminder that many desperately need prayer for stable shelter and the ability to give thanks anyway--especially over the holidays.

...the arms of a loving husband.

...clementine oranges.

...Shepherd's Pie for dinner.

...a warm home.

...owning a Bible and knowing it washes me clean and brings me joy.

...children to hug.

...prayers to pray.

...books to read.

...laundry to hang and fold, floors to sweep, dishes to wash, cluttered counter to clear. We do it all for the glory of God, with thanksgiving.

...the book Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secrets of a Man's Soul. A Christian book by a Christian counselor, it teaches how to disciple boys and understand your man. Though written for men, wives and mothers can glean much. I would read it cover to cover without stopping, but alas, my people need food and clean underwear. Or at least food. Just kidding...a load is bleaching in the washer as I type.

The author asserts that three desires are fundamental to men: the desire for battle (thus, the sticks boys constantly pick up), the desire for adventure (few men are homebodies...domestication makes them claustrophobic), and the desire to rescue a beautiful woman. When wives, mothers, and society discount and don't make allowances for these things, a man is lost. Public education doesn't help, with its sit down, be still and be nice expectations. More to come on this book, as part of my Discipling Boys series.

And guess what? My Catherine Marshall book turned up! Someone wrapped it as a pretend present and put it under a bed--a favorite pastime around here, especially around birthdays. More to come on that book as well...if my people stop dirtying their underwear and getting hungry.


On that note, the washer stopped.

What are you thankful for today? And how can I pray for you? It would be a privilege, friend.

Giving Thanks, Again

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Giving thanks for...

...my Peter, the idea man, who keeps this place hopping with playtime delight, along with the detail man's help (that would be Paul). The last two days brought library simulation time. Peter and Paul rounded up "library cards" for everyone (our old CA driver's licenses and other old cards) and used Daddy's bible college books to set up a library, from which the kids checked out books, raced the clock and went back to a bedroom to "read" them. Next, they returned them, only to check out more. If they didn't beat the clock they had to pay an overdue fee of 5 cents a book. When checked out, the books were given a small cross stamp in red ink, on the inside back cover--the cross stamp being the smallest stamp they could find. Daddy would never sell his collection of bible scholar books, so I figured a small, inconspicuous stamp wouldn't hurt anything.

...Miss Mary delighting us with her pretend reading. She inserted dates and read thus: "In 1921 they sailed the seas, seeking adventure...."  The boys, so tickled by Mary's readings, congregated outside the bedroom, listening and giggling. "In the 1590's they sailed and ran into aliens."

Okay, I admit it. Mary likes Backyardigan library videos, and though I personally hate them, I say yes a couple times a month. I suspect this is where she might get her "adventure language"? It certainly isn't from The Swiss Family Robinson, which Daddy tried to read to the boys after Mary's bedtime (They boys, it turns out, couldn't handle the Old English yet).

...a day of baking and blessing. I didn't keep the laundry moving yesterday, but we did bake ten dozen cookies, enabling us to bless our mechanic, Gary, and still have some left to enjoy at home. Husband considers it a happy day when he walks through the door at 7:00 PM (following 12 hours away from home), only to find a pie or freshly baked cookies waiting for him. We try to sit down to dinner between 6:30 and 6:45, so that we're all still there when Daddy comes home. He joins us and encourages the girls to finish all their food--a duty I hate. While he eats, the children start on the prayer jars for corporate prayer. The first one done eating, usually Peter, gets the dessert on the table (if we baked something). Next, someone starts on a Bible reading. When dessert is included Miss Beth, almost three, stays around longer. She also loves to unwrap prayers and "read" them after I whisper them into her ear.

...the beginnings of a beat up Bible. Do you have a clean, neat Bible, with pages still perfect? Shame on you, then! I too, have a Bible that doesn't look well studied. A well-used Bible, marked and dated each time a passage is read, is the way to a deeper Christian walk, along with regular prayer--disjointed though it may be. Let's all make 2012 the year our Bibles become marked up and well-studied. I started a few weeks ago with this, and last night I read the Book of Colossians, underlining my favorite verses and dating them with tiny numbers in the margins. Next time I read them, I'll add another date. Miss Beth did not have one of her wake-ups until I'd read the last line. How's that for divine intervention?

...Colossians, which is a beautiful book. My favorite verses below:

Colossians 3:12-17

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 ¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

source here

Colossians 4:2-6

² Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. ³ And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. ⁴ Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. ⁵ Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. ⁶ Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

source here

...the whoopee cushion. During my Thanksgiving shopping, I found a $1 whoopee cushion to keep the children busy while we cooked like fiends. Oh, the giggles! All these days later, they're still giggling and trying to trick us into sitting down on the whoopee.

...the morning Lincoln Log creations, which get more elaborate each day.

...pictures of Daddy reading to his sweeties. Those jean-couch cushion covers, a six-year-old eyesore, need to be dyed indigo blue. I'll get to that eventually, thanks to a friend who suggested doing it in the washer itself. Am I crazy to try that?

...online friends who encourage and love and bless every day. Without much family around and with no time to go on "girlfriend" dates, I sure need my online friends, who help keep me sane. Thank you!

More blessings another time. Looks like library simulation time is over, meaning I'll have to ride herd to get Daddy's books back on the shelves.

Have a blessed day!

Counting Blessings Today

- Miss Beth loves her dollies. She had me swaddle them and take them outside for her, where she "read" them a couple stories.

- Baking with my girls. Last week Miss Mary told me, "Making cookies is my favorite thing to do with you, Mommy." It's been a stressful couple of days with arthritis and ADHD. Right about now, I can think of nothing better than baking and cuddling all day, taking in plenty of the Christmas books we checked out at the library.

- Paul's deliciously insane ability to cuddle close, leaving no space. He blesses!

- No one wet the bed last night. Maybe I can catch up on the other laundry?

- As hard as many things feel to me right now, I know any affliction we have pales in comparison to the daily realities our Compassion sweeties and their parents live. Perspective is one of God's tools--compelling us to give thanks and act on our faith.

- My husband and I, very compatible, rarely find anything to fight about. Sometimes I forget what a blessing this is. The past found me disappointed in him at times, but I understand better now how ADHD affects the brain. It's one thing to read about it, and another to see it manifested in a son and a husband. Now instead of being disappointed in them, I'm grateful to be part of God's grace for them. For more than anything, people with brain irregularities need acceptance and unconditional love, not pressure to conform to standards never designed for them.

My challenge at this juncture is to keep the weight on God to help Peter find work he can support his family with--work that capitalizes on his strengths and minimizes his brain weaknesses. How will he support more than himself, and will he marry someone rich in grace? My own husband never found a decent-paying job compatible with his ADHD, partially because the condition went undiagnosed. He also has long-standing double vision, which ruled out the military, the post office, and anything involving driving or navigating. Throughout his life he experienced failure, constant ridicule, and incredible frustration, by not understanding why and how he was different. I beg God for a different outcome for my son!

ADHD people have some unique abilities, but put them in a job with many details, high stress, and constant change, and they flounder--unless it's one of their hyperfocus areas. Since Peter hyperfocuses on nature and homesteading and gardening, I suspect he'll find success in a field that involves those things. The hyperfocusing makes it difficult for them to eat well, sleep enough, and invest in relationships, but it's often the only vehicle for sufficient financial support (if the right field is found early enough).

- A family member responded negatively to my sons' holiday song writing, finding their efforts too "religious" ("all about heaven and angels" were the exact words). Huh? Heaven and angels were never mentioned in the songs, nor implied.  "Now maybe you can write songs about Christmas" was the second comment. (Of course I didn't let my sons read the note, though it was intended for them.) A few positive comments were included, but the sarcasm and anti-religious nature were palpable. If a Son being born isn't about Christmas, what is?

For two days the comments have stolen my peace. I see someone I've prayed for become increasingly hardhearted toward God. I'm looking for a blessing in this folks...I really am. I can come up with only this: my children are being raised as Christians, breaking the cycle of unbelief. Praise God for that! I have to let the rest go, or it will destroy me.

- I know Grace is going to fall like rain today, because God knows I need it. I don't just hope it will happen. I know it will.  That in itself is a huge blessing.

Discipling Boys: Addressing Selfishness

This morning at breakfast I began tweaking our use of prayer jars. Each person now has a personal prayer jar to draw from during corporate prayer, and during private prayer--with the girls receiving one-on-one assistance during their private prayer time.

I wrote out enough prayers to get the children started. They each took a turn dictating.

Peter, just shy of ten, dictated these prayers:

- I pray for more Carolina Wrens and that the starlings will stop fighting.
- That God will provide us each a present.
- Please help us to be able to afford inks (an art supply item).
- I pray that my Grandpas and my Grandma will become Christians.
- I pray that my headaches will go away.
- Please give me more house finches.
- May we have money to visit our sponsor children.
- Please save cousin Chris and give him a godly wife.
- Please help Uncle David's trustee work to go well. I pray for someone to buy his father's house.
- I pray for more chipmunks for Beth and me.

As he dictated, I noticed that most of them focused on himself--other than a prayer for his grandparent's salvation. After several "me" prayers in a row, I suggested, "What needs do other people have?"


Next it was Mary's turn to dictate prayers for her prayer jar. She'll be five in a few weeks:

- I pray that Raphael has a good meal.
- I pray that Stephanie marries a Christian.
- I pray that Peter's ADHD will go away.
- I pray that Divya will have nice meals, no more dirt floors, and an inside kitchen.
- I pray that Mommy's headaches will go away.
- I pray for Peter's OCD to go away.

Next came Paul, age eight:

- I pray that Raphael will have enough food.
- I pray that we can get more Lincoln Logs for Christmas.
- I pray that Peter will have birds.
- I pray that David's father's house will sell in the bad economy.
- May I have a new football.
- I pray that my relatives will know Jesus.

Now, Paul heard me praise Mary for thinking of others first, so after hearing that, he may have curbed the number of "me" prayers he'd originally planned.

I've noticed this same trend when I pray with my husband. I focus outward first; he focuses inward first. Though in his defense, most of his inward prayers involve his family to some extent, such as prayers for his vehicles.

Because men aren't designed as nurturers, I suspect they combat selfishness to a greater extent. A woman's burden is to nurture and serve; a man's is to provide materially (food, shelter, clothing). God gave us an outward focus, and men an inward focus--without which they would struggle to compete and take what they need for their families.

You might call this a big leap on my part, but it's my theory and I'm stickin' to it (to borrow a Collin Ray phrase).

What starts out as selfishness must be channeled in the right direction, so that God's ultimate purpose for a man is realized. We need to help our boys put a check on their selfishness--selfishness with their time, their money, or their possessions. Obviously, not all men are selfish in the same way (some buy a boat or other large "toy" they don't need, while others play golf and spend hours away from their families), but in all cases, loving as Christ loved the church--sacrificially--is a big leap for them. A challenge of a lifetime, in fact.

The other night my husband served the three younger children a small piece of the remaining chocolate cake. Peter would be happy enough with the leftover apple pie, husband surmised.

Unbeknownst to my husband though, Peter had his eyes on that cake all day. He had to listen to Mommy repeat four times, "After dinner."


Finishing his chore project, Peter scurried to the kitchen to fetch his piece of cake. Oh, my. It was ugly, folks.

Instead of expressing disgust at Peter's fit, what did Miss Mary do? She happily gave Peter what was left of her piece of cake--a small piece to begin with. And that girl loves chocolate!

God designed a mother's body to provide for her baby first. Baby's body gets first pick--the nutrients, the calories, the water--through breastmilk. Momma's body absorbs the leftovers (which is not a problem in first-world countries, where people rarely starve).

Miss Mary only did what came naturally--providing for others' needs first.

If giving is so unnatural to our boys--if selfishness is so ingrained--how do we prepare them to love sacrificially? The answer my own life taught me, is this: Thankfulness. A thankful heart is a giving heart.

First, we acknowledge and appreciate what God has given us. We say thank you. Eventually, that appreciation becomes the vehicle for sharing our blessings. Vertical love--Jesus coming down to be the sacrifice--becomes horizontal giving. God flowing through us and then out of us.

I offer the words of Ann Voskamp, who says it best:

And thanksgiving only becomes thanksliving when joy in the blessings given from above — overflows into the blessings given all around.

Thanksgiving only becomes thanksliving when the thanks for His vertical, coming-down grace — is expressed as a horizontal, reaching-out grace.

Thanksgiving only becomes thanksliving — when thanksgiving to God overflows into a joy of giving.

The joy of giving thanks – is ultimately expressed in the joy of giving.

Voskamp quotes taken from this post:

I submit this to you: To raise up sacrificial men, we need to raise thankful boys. God will do the rest. He will take our boy's thanks-giving, and make it thanksliving.

Next in this series, we'll discuss developing a thankful heart in our boys. How do we get there?

photo credit

Counting My Blessings

I'm thankful...

...for these precious girls. 

...for their sisterly love.

...for this rocker. 

...for a little girl who is transformed by nursing and cuddling, and for God, who equipped me to comfort.

...for this delicious meal, which we finally got on the table at 6:00 pm (Late for this holiday, I know. We pull it off without any one to play with the kids. And yes, we forgot to dress for dinner before the photo.)

...a holiday that was, finally, not dominated by ADHD.

...for having my husband with us the whole day! The way to his heart?  Through his stomach. This cliche couldn't be more accurate in my marriage, though he's not picky. Almost any meal will do on a daily basis, as long as meat is included.

...for Paul, who woke up shouting Happy Thanksgiving everyone! He usually wakes up quietly, not saying a word for about twenty minutes. My heart smiled wide at his joy.

...for my Peter, who took charge of the decorations, humble though they are. He looked in every corner of the house to find four candles. Sweet and homemade trumps fancy (in my book). Don't even notice, please, that we drink out of jars gathered from Newman's Own Black Bean and Corn Salsa, which I put in my chili. Matching glasses have long since broken. And as I once said, these "glasses" never topple.

...for a (fake, pre-strung,) tree decorating session this morning not dominated by ADHD stress, thank the Lord!  The adults here wouldn't bother this early, but the kids love it and since it is a lot of work, it may as well be up 30 days. I love corners to hide that we don't have enough ornaments to go all the way around. Something tells me I'm not the only one who uses this trick? 

The picture looks like a fire hazard, but that fireplace is only used for storing puzzles and games up on the mantle, and stuffed animals and big books on the bottom. I keep it loaded up so no one else gets a scar on the forehead from falling against the brick. This is the playroom (mainly used by the kids). Miss Mary's scar (from three years ago) is still visible despite us putting sunscreen on it and keeping her in hats.

...for Lincoln Logs. Peter gets up first and lately he has a Lincoln Log surprise for us every morning. Here is his horse ranch.

...for leftovers in my favorite flavor--sweet potato casserole and sausage apple cranberry stuffing

...for delicious, non-bitter cranberries gently boiled for ten minutes with a cup of orange juice and a cup of sugar. Delectable.

...for letters from Burkina Faso and El Salvador on the same day, along with penpal letters from Wisconsin. Triple treat!

...for Raphael, who sent us a photo of his new jeans and matching shirt and new sandals, courtesy of the $15 we made at our late-summer garage sale. It was worth all that work, though I wish I received a photo of new clothes, plus a farm animal he was able to purchase for milk nutrition. I pray to be able to do this and more, and also that regular letters and small gifts sent with much love, will effectively combat the lies of poverty (you don't matter, God has forgotten you, you're not good enough)

...for a safe, warm home, plentiful space, nutritious food, hot water, washer and dryer and dishwasher, working plumbing (though don't ask about the toilets. My cousin has been busy, but will hopefully help us soon with those. His grandfather, age 93, just passed away and the whole family was very busy providing around-the-clock care for a few months, after colon cancer was diagnosed in late summer. He lived a long, blessed life)

I have more blessings, but husband took the kids to the park and I have, count them, four overflowing laundry baskets of clean clothes to fold. So much less stressful to do that on the few occasions I find myself alone.

Have a blessed time with your families this weekend! I wish you turkey soup tonight, with honey cornbread! You don't need the heavy cream it calls for. I substitute the kids' 2% milk and it's still delicious. I also substitute 100% whole wheat flour for the all purpose. The wheat blends wonderfully with the honey.