America's talking about it. Oh my, are they talking about it.
Breastfeeding older children, that is.
Time Magazine's over-the-top cover picturing a mother breastfeeding her three-year-old son, profoundly disappoints me. I like Dr. Sears--an excellent pediatrician who writes about attachment parenting--very much. But I'm dismayed that he would have anything to do with this sensational magazine cover, as a Christian doctor, without mentioning that he disagrees with the magazine's ethics--not to mention the 26-year-old mother's ethics. I'm sure she's probably quite nice, but she did exploit her body and her son with this photo.
I haven't read the article itself, but I've read several articles about the attachment parenting piece, and I did not come across a Dr. Sear's objection to the photo. Maybe he thought the end--a nationwide focus on attachment parenting and extended breastfeeding--justified the means? If so, I definitely disagree.
I'm not necessary an attachment-minded parent, but I do love slings and co-sleeping. They generally help children feel content and secure, and most moms and babies get better quality sleep this way. It's clearly not for everyone though.
I breastfeed my 3.5-year-old daughter frequently, but never in public (though I think discreet public feedings are fine). There is simply no reason to draw attention to something this personal, unless it's to educate. And photos, if they're used (why are they necessary?) should be of a natural breastfeeding position, with the child's body concealing the breast entirely. If people already think it's weird, why upset them with exposures they're not used to? What is gained by this? Certainly not understanding.
The photo aside, I'm just as dismayed at the reaction to extended breastfeeding this article spurred. For example:
~ Women who breastfeed older children do it to meet their own twisted needs. Really?
~ These children are being sexually abused. Really?
~ There is no benefit to breastfeeding this long. Children should gain independence by these ages, or they'll have problems for life. Really?
Refuting these arguments is simple, but I've yet to read anything using the best defense imaginable: God's design.
If you don't like breastfeeding, fine. Do what works for you. It seems immoral to pit one mother against another. We are all gifted in different areas and no mother is perfect, regardless of her child-rearing beliefs.
That aside, most mothers actually want to breastfeed, but many don't have adequate support. Husbands, mother-in-laws, mothers, gynecologists, maternity nurses, and pediatricians can be surprisingly unsupportive of breastfeeding, making it very difficult for an exhausted new mom to get beyond the initiation period, which can last as long as two months.
The worst thing breastfeeding advocates can do is to discount the lack of choice many women have in regards to this issue. Latching doesn't come easy for every baby, or for every mother. Things can go fine at the hospital, but when the milk comes in baby is overwhelmed by the larger breast. Whatever colostrum latch she managed before becomes much more difficult and frustrating with engorgement. This period especially, is crucial in terms of support. Mommy and baby can both be in tears frequently. And baby needs to eat right now, regardless of latch problems. The whole experience begs for moral support and professional support--both of which are lacking oftentimes.
Two of my babies had great difficulty with latch. My first child, though ultimately successful, didn't latch at all for three whole weeks. I developed post-partum preeclampsia and had to be admitted to the hospital without him--before he'd ever latched, which prolonged our difficulties. And my last child, still breastfeeding today, didn't develop a consistent latch until she was one month old. Those were incredibly stressful times and without my husband's unwavering support, and our desperate prayers, I would have failed.
I would never judge a bottlefeeding mother. There are simply too many variables involved. I know how blessed I was to have support, and my heart is for every mother to have the same fighting chance.
If we get nothing else right in this debate, let's get this one thing right: Breastfeeding is God's perfect design. It's His heart for babies and young children. His work. Let's not tolerate anything that defiles His work, regardless of personal feelings about breastfeeding. To do so is like laughing in God's face.
He designed a mother's milk to last as long as a child needs it, emotionally and physically. Most children, worldwide, self-wean between 2 and 7 years of age. The average self-weaning age is 4 years old. Around the world this is considered natural, not weird.
Our Lord is the only perfection we'll ever know. He does not make mistakes! If he felt extended breastfeeding was harmful or weird, he would have designed mother's milk to dry up earlier, regardless of a child's suckling frequency.
Here is an article on the benefits to child and mother, of breastfeeding for extended periods.
I breastfeed my 3.5-year-old daughter frequently, but never in public (though I think discreet public feedings are fine). There is simply no reason to draw attention to something this personal, unless it's to educate. And photos, if they're used (why are they necessary?) should be of a natural breastfeeding position, with the child's body concealing the breast entirely. If people already think it's weird, why upset them with exposures they're not used to? What is gained by this? Certainly not understanding.
The photo aside, I'm just as dismayed at the reaction to extended breastfeeding this article spurred. For example:
~ Women who breastfeed older children do it to meet their own twisted needs. Really?
~ These children are being sexually abused. Really?
~ There is no benefit to breastfeeding this long. Children should gain independence by these ages, or they'll have problems for life. Really?
Refuting these arguments is simple, but I've yet to read anything using the best defense imaginable: God's design.
If you don't like breastfeeding, fine. Do what works for you. It seems immoral to pit one mother against another. We are all gifted in different areas and no mother is perfect, regardless of her child-rearing beliefs.
That aside, most mothers actually want to breastfeed, but many don't have adequate support. Husbands, mother-in-laws, mothers, gynecologists, maternity nurses, and pediatricians can be surprisingly unsupportive of breastfeeding, making it very difficult for an exhausted new mom to get beyond the initiation period, which can last as long as two months.
The worst thing breastfeeding advocates can do is to discount the lack of choice many women have in regards to this issue. Latching doesn't come easy for every baby, or for every mother. Things can go fine at the hospital, but when the milk comes in baby is overwhelmed by the larger breast. Whatever colostrum latch she managed before becomes much more difficult and frustrating with engorgement. This period especially, is crucial in terms of support. Mommy and baby can both be in tears frequently. And baby needs to eat right now, regardless of latch problems. The whole experience begs for moral support and professional support--both of which are lacking oftentimes.
Two of my babies had great difficulty with latch. My first child, though ultimately successful, didn't latch at all for three whole weeks. I developed post-partum preeclampsia and had to be admitted to the hospital without him--before he'd ever latched, which prolonged our difficulties. And my last child, still breastfeeding today, didn't develop a consistent latch until she was one month old. Those were incredibly stressful times and without my husband's unwavering support, and our desperate prayers, I would have failed.
I would never judge a bottlefeeding mother. There are simply too many variables involved. I know how blessed I was to have support, and my heart is for every mother to have the same fighting chance.
If we get nothing else right in this debate, let's get this one thing right: Breastfeeding is God's perfect design. It's His heart for babies and young children. His work. Let's not tolerate anything that defiles His work, regardless of personal feelings about breastfeeding. To do so is like laughing in God's face.
He designed a mother's milk to last as long as a child needs it, emotionally and physically. Most children, worldwide, self-wean between 2 and 7 years of age. The average self-weaning age is 4 years old. Around the world this is considered natural, not weird.
Our Lord is the only perfection we'll ever know. He does not make mistakes! If he felt extended breastfeeding was harmful or weird, he would have designed mother's milk to dry up earlier, regardless of a child's suckling frequency.
Here is an article on the benefits to child and mother, of breastfeeding for extended periods.
