Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Gospel and Neighborhood Life

He appeared in my driveway this morning, this Aidan who moved in across the street. He's nine and macho, always shirtless and about to lose his pants. He builds bikes and changes tires and he offered just today to take the training wheels off of Mary's bike. He'd teach her to ride without them, he told Mary.

I like him.

Standing before me, his sun-bronzed face sported three fresh red scratches and two swollen eyes. He'd been crying earlier.

Peter learned that Aidan, before ten o'clock this morning, had an altercation with his 13-year-old sister, who babysits him and his two siblings--a 4-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl.

In a hurry to get Beth to therapy, I could say but little to this boy who pretends to be a man.

"Honey, are you okay today?"

He nodded. But more tears? A dam held them back. A quiver in that macho chin did not escape my notice.

"Let me know if you ever need anything while your mom's gone, okay?"

He nodded again and I drove off with Beth, leaving my other three with Daddy, who comes home a couple hours on Wednesday mornings to cover the therapy appointment.

A good drive ahead of me, I mourned this mother's need to be away at work. No mother would choose this, I knew. To leave three children in the care of a thirteen year old? Only desperation would create a scenario like that.

A day ago, Aidan came with his little brother and sister. My kids asked if they could all play in the playroom. So I cleaned it up good, and invited them all in.

From the front window I could see the 13-year-old sister come out their front door, wondering where the kids were. Earlier they'd been in the middle of the street, unsafely riding their bikes and I didn't know what to do.

In my mind's eye I could see their bloodied bodies on the street, downed by a teenager driving too fast. My mind always draws these pictures for me, and I respond quickly. But these kids? They're not mine and they wouldn't listen to my gentle warnings to ride in my driveway, instead. Or in their driveway.

It took my breath away, every time they'd rode around with abandon in the street.

I gently told Aidan how dangerous it was, and could he teach them to ride on the right side only?

But 9-year-old Aidan, their big brother? Just the day before I rode away to get groceries. I watched him peddle fast into the adjoining street without looking, almost hitting a car.

There's a reason my eight year old doesn't ride in the street without us, and why my ten year old can't turn onto other streets by himself.

Seeing the sister look for them just then, I quickly wrote a note for Aidan to take over, giving her my name and cell number, letting her know the kids were in the playroom and I would send them home whenever she needed me to. She wrote her cell number down, telling Aidan I should text her if she didn't answer.

I had to smile at that. A teenager asking me to text her.

I haven't the slightest clue how to send a text. Yes, I admit it. I've never texted.

Halfway to Beth's therapy appointment, my mind turns to their mother again. She'd sent me a note last night, telling me thank you for letting her little ones play here the day before, and did I have any fever reducer her five year old could use? She also wrote down her phone number and said I should call her if I ever needed anything.

And do you know? It thrilled me to receive this note. A neighbor asking for my help warmed my heart, for the days of borrowing cups of sugar are long gone. It tickled me to grab my generic children's tylenol, give it to Aidan, the messenger, and tell him we'd pray for his little sister.

But that word...pray.

He'd looked at me funny when I said it.

I closed the door after he left, reminding myself not to be ashamed of the Gospel.

Romans 1:16 I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.


The gospel can invite trouble, I know this afresh. For the woman two doors down? The one I invited to dinner along with her grandson? Not only did she never respond, but today Peter saw them both out and waved and waved. They both stared at him from their driveway, and it took three times before Landon waved back. The grandmother? She didn't wave.

"Mommy", Peter told me afterwards, "That really hurt my feelings. Why wouldn't she wave? She used to wave, before we invited her to dinner."

"It's very hard to understand, Peter. Somehow, she was offended by my invitation. I don't know why, except that maybe she's been hurt by other Christians. Some people think of Christians as Jesus-freaks--people who aren't really of this world. They don't want to get too close. It's a sort of fear. Prejudice is always rooted in fear. And honey, we really aren't of this world. And no matter how much it hurts to be rejected, we can't try to hide the fact that we're Christians. We can't be ashamed of the gospel."

As Aidan rode off on his bike last night with the fever reducer, I wondered what he would say to his parents. 

Would he mention that word...pray? And what would they think? Would we hear from them again?

I prayed. We all prayed.

What else can a Jesus Freak do next, but pray?

Prayer Time:  Dear Lord, Thank you for plucking me out of this world. Thank you for making me a Jesus Freak. I want to spread your love and your Truth, so others can feel what I feel...this deep, wild love for you. Help us all, Lord. Give us wisdom in our interactions, and give us strength through rejections. Thank you for never leaving us nor forsaking us. I love you. Fill my children up, Lord. Thank you that this summer they're learning to stand up for you. Thank you that I'm here, able to disciple them through it all. 

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Multitude Monday: Receiving Him




It's Multitude Monday, in which we focus on thanks-living. But what does thanks-living really mean? 

I can answer that by describing its opposite.

When I wish Peter didn't have ADHD and its accompanying comorbid disorders, I'm wishing an experience away.

Not me, Lord. Don't let it be my son.

When I wish Beth didn't have arthritis in her knees and left ankle, and eyes that are vulnerable to inflammation and accompanying damage, I'm wishing an experience away.

Not me, Lord. Don't let it be my daughter.

When I wish Beth didn't have strasbismus (wandering, or lazy eyes) in both eyes, which could mean surgery this fall, I am wishing an experience away.

Not me, Lord. Don't let it be my daughter.

When I wish three of my kids didn't need speech therapy, and my son didn't need fine-motor help such as handwriting clinics, necessitating more appointments, I'm wishing experiences away.

Not me, Lord.  

When I wish we weren't low income and I didn't need to spend hours looking for used curriculum, and then more hours waiting for the sellers to check their e-mail, I'm wishing an experience away.

Not me, Lord.

When I wish the house stayed clean and orderly for more than an hour, I'm wishing an experience away.

When I wish I had more time for this or that, I'm wishing now away.

Pain and disease and toil arose from the sin curse. God didn't wish sorrow or toil upon us.

But He is powerful. He is the Almighty Living God who created everything. He can change our reality, if he wanted to.

When I open my hands to His blessings, that's easy. Everyone loves a blessing.

When I open my hands to sorrow and toil, what am I receiving, really?

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

I submit to you, I am still receiving blessing. I can open my hands with the same joy, with the same assurance, because of His promises.

When we tell a fifteen month old not to cross the street, he can't understand why. When the economy tanks and we lose our home, we can't possibly know the outcome. We're as blind as the fifteen-month-old baby. 

But God. 

He tells us His grace is sufficient. He tells us he works all things for our good. He tells us he'll never leave us nor forsake us. He tells us he's preparing a place for us in his Father's House.

I believe all His promises. Do you?

Thanks-living is opening your hands to all the blessings--the ones that taste like chocolate cream pie, and the ones that taste like lima beans. They're all good. 

He promises.


So thanks-living is believing. It's seeing with His eyes. It's saying yes to now. It's receiving Him. 

In every moment we don't wish away, we're receiving Him. 

Not just so we can feel happy, but so we can bring Him glory. 

In receiving Him, we bring Him Glory. 


So thanks-living is a moment to moment receiving and giving, at the same time. It's full communion with the Father.


It's beautiful.

My thanks-living list for today:

~ My three-year-old playing in the mud happy as a lark, looking for worms. 

~ Peter reading about bees and telling me how amazing God is. How brilliant His creation is.

~ Peter transplanting things in our garden, and coming in for his evening shower, telling me how hard he worked and how much he loves gardening.

~ My five-year-old daughter telling me that most of all, she wants to me a mom. And then maybe babysit other children.

~ The teacher we met with last week asked Peter why he wants to be a farmer. Peter answered, "I think it's what God wants me to do."  (His soul soars when he works the land, so I tend to think Peter is right.)

~ Paul whipping up some pumpkin muffins this morning, healthy ones suitable for breakfast, and telling me with a smile on his face, "Mommy, I just love to bake."

~ The Holy Spirit speaking to me right away, every time I wish a hard moment away.

~ Homeschooling; I've never spent a single moment regretting homeschooling.

~ 17 novels for $42 from one seller, and then another seller selling 4 more (exactly the ones I needed) for $14. The cheapest you can get any novel from Amazon, used, is $4 all included. Not all novels sell this cheaply on Amazon--$4 is the best case scenario. And buying individually requires a ton of time

The way it worked out? A God thing. If I'd had the money to click a few buttons and buy them all new from Sonlight, what would God have received? Not this due glory. When money is abundant we tend to think we earned it. That we deserved it--discounting who created us with the talents, skills, country-of-origin, and family situation, which all worked together, facilitating success. This is why it's written: Mark 10:25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

~ That I need God. I really need Him.

~ That hard times work out for my good, and if I open my heart to them, I'll taste the chocolate pie instead of the lima beans. (Forgive me if you love lima beans).

~ That every time we go to the doctor, we have opportunity to spread the Gospel. To point the way to Him.

~ That Peter asked his new neighborhood friend, Aidan, if his five-year-old sister could come over as well to play with Mary and Beth. Aidan's parents said yes, and five-year-old Vanessa came over. Miss Mary was so excited, she ran up to me after they'd played a bit, hugged me tightly, and said, "Mommy, can you believe it? I have a new friend!" 

~ My husband loves his children and lives for them, too. Gives all of himself for their good, just like their Heavenly Father does. Amen!

linking with Ann today

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Saturday Devotions: Feeling Put Upon


I should be doing the dishes.

I could start most of my posts with that sentence. What does that say about me? That I love writing and reflecting, more than a clean kitchen? Or does it say something less benign, like that I'm not a servant at heart?

I don't know.

Husband's Saturday morning work at the church moved to the afternoon due to a wedding. He doesn't relax or sit still. Always moving.

Except when he reads to the kids.

When we were first married and had cable and no children, he never even sat steadily to watch the UCLA football games he loved. Somehow he followed them while going about his business, knowing just when to sit down for the best plays.

This morning, on the advice of a tomato-loving friend from work, he blanched his huge garden tomatoes, peeled the skins, blended the tomatoes in the blender, and started a large pot of sauce. He added his banana peppers too. A wonderful idea to save money on store-bought tomato sauce, which uses more salt than we'd like.

Except that we have yet to buy canning supplies to preserve such homemade fare.

When he left for work he also left the kitchen. In. a. disaster.

I reluctantly cleaned it up, postponing my annual frenzy of searching for used homeschool curriculum for next to nothing. The next to nothing part being only in my dreams. I usually end up selling something I like, and could use later with the girls, to earn money to buy something we need--in this case, about 31 novels.

Novels are something we always keep, since they're the hardest to replace. I'm working on procuring part 2 of American history-themed novels.

But anyway...back to a slice of life at my house today.

Peter, using his beloved 1001 Hints & Tips For Your Garden, made garlic bug spray for our roses, which he diagnosed with a pest problem. Then he cut up plastic water bottles and made multiple wasp traps with sugar water, setting them all over the front and back yards. Whenever he gets his hands on a new garden book, his spirit soars.

And when he's done, the kitchen's a mess.

Paul loves baking. After lunch he made chocolate chip muffins, incorporating his three-year-old sister into the experience like the dear boy that he is. His muffins are always delicious.

And the kitchen? Left in a mess.

Are you noticing a theme here? Sometimes it feels like everyone else is living their life, and I'm cleaning it up. I feel put upon and I don't like that feeling. It comes from an ungrateful place in my heart.

Time for a verse of the day, to help me with my aversion to re-cleaning the kitchen.

Isaiah 40:28-31  Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Prayer Time: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for salvation, for your precious Son, for the gift of a family. May I have a servant's heart and approach my tasks with love and devotion. Help me gather what we need for the school year while still guiding the house and keeping the family in clean underwear. Thank you for the boys' help with vacuuming, sweeping, mopping and folding. Help me continue to train, to encourage, to disciple. Help me to model a servant's heart. Forgive me for my grumbling spirit and help me draw strength from you, from your Word. Guide my steps and my priorities.

In Your Son's name I pray, Amen.
photo credit

Friday, August 10, 2012

Thankful Thursday: Another School Year Ends



"The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge."
Proverbs 18:15


This week my boys finished another school year. Instead of relief, I feel pride mixed with melancholy. Can you explain that to me?

I don't understand myself.

This one was a difficult year, with Beth's Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis coming right at the start. We traveled to more doctor's appointments than I can count, and Beth had a painful winter and spring.

I cried, I worried, she cried, she nursed, she cuddled in my lap. I spent hours and days, just soothing her.

Grueling about describes this school year. So why do I feel so sad at the conclusion?

Tomorrow, Friday, is our annual appointment to have an Ohio-credentialed teacher officially sign off on our year. Today I gathered all their work and listed all their reading material, and just like last August, I couldn't hold back the tears.

When I listed Where the Red Fern Grows, I remembered Peter's tears at the ending. I remember holding him as he sobbed.

I remember Peter telling me that Gentle Ben was one of the best books he'd ever read, and why did it have to end? 

Many books became their friends this year. So many times they didn't want to say goodbye.

Just last month Peter said The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was the best book he'd ever read.

And I distinctly remember last October. Farmer Boy captured his heart then.

I love that at home, school is mostly reading. I don't have to hand over a bunch of busy work to prove we did something this year. My children filled their minds every time they opened a book.

They cried, they laughed, they contemplated. History, tragedy, friendship, family, love, hate, fantasy, reality. They learned.

Today for Thankful Thursday I want to list the books that shaped my boys' hearts and minds this year. This is everything they read, except for non-fiction science and Bible materials.

"And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."
Proverbs 24:4

For these authors and their stories, I give thanks.

My Peter, age 10 years
Farmer Boy
Sign of the Beaver
The Courage of Sarah Noble
Westward Toward Home My America
Meet George Washington
Mr. Popper's Penguins
Ruphus M.
McBroom's Wonderful One-Acre Farm
The Summer of the Swans
Old Yeller
My Side of the Mountain
Ben Franklin of Old Philadelphia
Squanto Friend of the Pilgrims
The Skippack School
Where the Red Fern Grows
My Father's Dragon
Elmer and the Dragon
The Dragons of Blue Land
A Lion to Guard Us
Meet Thomas Jefferson
Pedro's Journal
The Cabin Faced West
Caleb's Story
Gentle Ben
More Perfect Than the Moon
Skylark
A Hive of Busy Bees
Sarah Plain and Tall
Grandfather's Dance
The Bears of Hemlock Mountain
The Matchlock Gun
On the Banks of Plum Creek
On the Shores of Silver Lake
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Farm
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Magic
Hello Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
Happy Birthday Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
Little Men
The Story of Dr. Dolittle
Pippi Longstocking
Dr. Dolittle and the Green Canary

My Paul, age 8 years
Mr. Popper's Penguins
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
Ruphus M.
Along Came a Dog
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
McBroom's Wonderful One-Acre Farm
The Family Under the Bridge
Katie and the Mustang
My Father's Dragon
Elmer and the Dragon
The Dragons of Blue Land
The Bears of Hemlock Mountain
Caleb's Story
More Perfect Than the Moon
The Complete Treasury of Winnie the Pooh
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Farm
Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Magic
Happy Birthday Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
Hello Mrs. Piggle Wiggle
The Story of Dr. Dolittle
The Voyages of Dr. Dolittle
Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
Dr. Dolittle's Circus
Farmer Boy Days
The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg
A Lion to Guard Us
Meet Thomas Jefferson
Sarah, Plain and Tall
Squanto Friend of the Pilgrims
The Cabin Faced West
Meet George Washington

Read Alouds by Daddy 
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The Wheel on the School
Rascal
Chucaro Wild Pony of the Pampa
Ruphus M.
Pinky Pye
The Middle Moffat
Pollyanna
The Witch of Blackbird Pond
Shiloh
The Tale of Despereaux
The Phantom Tollbooth
The Hatchet
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nihm
Chronicles of Narnia, book 1
Chronicles of Narnia, book 3
Chronicles of Narnia, book 4
Chronicles of Narnia, book 5

They'll still read everyday now, but regular school won't start up again until mid September.

photo credit

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wednesday Devotions



Chores undone, children, six of them today, needing supervision and drinks on a hot day.

Morning spent on arthritis therapy, which always makes me feel behind at home.

The boys' end-of-year teacher meeting to prepare for and go to this Friday. Laundry to shuffle and fold.

Too many people needing me, a tired Momma who slept poorly after two boys woke me up at 3:00 AM, arguing about whether the hall light should be left on or not.

Two new neighborhood boys started coming within a week of each other. Both from divorced families, they bounce back and forth to different houses. Though they seem to endure it, they need a prayer warrior. I notice their emotions are fragile when they return from visits. 

I remember this from childhood. The switch at the end of holidays and vacations. The tears and the guilt trip and the wishing it could be different. Why couldn't I have a life like my friend, the one with two steady parents, a steady home? It felt whole at her house. Warm. 

Nowadays, the switches are too frequent. Who needs two homes? Two toothbrushes? Two sets of rules? Who needs the brokenness of saying goodbye to a beloved parent for another week? 

These boys, I like them already. Children weave their way into my heart and it's good, but sometimes I want a less heavy heart. I want to feel less. 

Or maybe I want more strength.

At three o'clock, after hours of play, I entice my four inside to rest. So I can rest. 

I search for a verse of the day before starting the dishes. A verse for these tired days with needs unending. A verse that makes my heart sing, my soul rest, my body renew.

And here it is, from Zephaniah.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

I close my eyes to hear this loud singing, this rejoicing over me with gladness. I want to feel His mightiness that saves. I want to feel the quietness of his enfolding love.

And I do. For three minutes, until Paul interrupts, needing me to open the can of pumpkin for his pumpkin bread recipe.

I do it and sit back down and read the verse again. And again. 

And I close my eyes.

And no one needs me for twenty minutes.

Prayer Time: Dear Father, Thank you for your beautiful heart and your Word. Thank you for these verses that echo your heart and make it accessible to me, a weak vessel. I don't have long to sit but I need a filling, Lord. I need you to infiltrate my heart and mind and give me rest even as I work. May my step be light, my heart be willing to serve anew. Work through me to love my children, to disciple them through new friends, new knowledge of a broken world. May we be lights out there Lord, even as we're broken ourselves. Shine through us. Make us faithful servants.

In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen