Chores undone, children, six of them today, needing supervision and drinks on a hot day.
Morning spent on arthritis therapy, which always makes me feel behind at home.
The boys' end-of-year teacher meeting to prepare for and go to this Friday. Laundry to shuffle and fold.
Too many people needing me, a tired Momma who slept poorly after two boys woke me up at 3:00 AM, arguing about whether the hall light should be left on or not.
Two new neighborhood boys started coming within a week of each other. Both from divorced families, they bounce back and forth to different houses. Though they seem to endure it, they need a prayer warrior. I notice their emotions are fragile when they return from visits.
I remember this from childhood. The switch at the end of holidays and vacations. The tears and the guilt trip and the wishing it could be different. Why couldn't I have a life like my friend, the one with two steady parents, a steady home? It felt whole at her house. Warm.
Nowadays, the switches are too frequent. Who needs two homes? Two toothbrushes? Two sets of rules? Who needs the brokenness of saying goodbye to a beloved parent for another week?
These boys, I like them already. Children weave their way into my heart and it's good, but sometimes I want a less heavy heart. I want to feel less.
Or maybe I want more strength.
At three o'clock, after hours of play, I entice my four inside to rest. So I can rest.
I search for a verse of the day before starting the dishes. A verse for these tired days with needs unending. A verse that makes my heart sing, my soul rest, my body renew.
And here it is, from Zephaniah.
I close my eyes to hear this loud singing, this rejoicing over me with gladness. I want to feel His mightiness that saves. I want to feel the quietness of his enfolding love.
And I do. For three minutes, until Paul interrupts, needing me to open the can of pumpkin for his pumpkin bread recipe.
I do it and sit back down and read the verse again. And again.
And I close my eyes.
And no one needs me for twenty minutes.
Prayer Time: Dear Father, Thank you for your beautiful heart and your Word. Thank you for these verses that echo your heart and make it accessible to me, a weak vessel. I don't have long to sit but I need a filling, Lord. I need you to infiltrate my heart and mind and give me rest even as I work. May my step be light, my heart be willing to serve anew. Work through me to love my children, to disciple them through new friends, new knowledge of a broken world. May we be lights out there Lord, even as we're broken ourselves. Shine through us. Make us faithful servants.
In Jesus' name I pray,